kissmygrits
@kissmygrits
14 Years5,000+ PostsCancer
Comments: 298 · Posts: 5049 · Topics: 48
The men settling to a commitment when they just want ass .... (Page 3)
You are on page out of 3 | Reverse Order
Posted by libraqueenI hate when women act like this. Why you gotta down someone cuz they may have been played? You feel superior? Well good for you, that you never got lied to, played and strung along. And not every woman had a dad to protect them and show them about men. Good for you that you did. You're lucky.
"Don't get bitter get better" take your own advice, and you aren't getting younger. Better get married and have those imaginary two kids you were talking about.
@Greentea 😉
Posted by hydorah
Interesting, I read the OP and saw the word "commitment" and it made me realize women seem to be only attached to commitment or relationship. At least that's the impression I get from all thse relationship discussions.
I have the impression that men are only interested in either sex or love and don't really care about the relationship itself, whereas women are throwing around words such as "commitment", "connection", "bonding" and seem to only care about a formal relationship and consider love and/or sex as accessory to this goal.
I probably don't represent all males, and since I'm older I have a dfferent point of view than most DXP guys, but this thread made me realize I don't care about the relationship at all. For me romantic love does not necessarily equate relationship.
@hydorah Now THIS is an interesting statement to me...but also confusing as I am using my woman brain and trying to wrap that around the male perspective. Can you explain further what you mean by not caring about the relationship aspect at all?
I know, right ... I have been chewing on his words since he said them.
"this thread made me realize I don't care about the relationship at all"
And this mostly does come with age, for both genders .... with age comes experience, with experience comes the realization that committed relationships aren't important.
it's not about ownership .. it's about the journey. When the experience has waned, it's time to jump ship. A relationship with the person has nothing to do with the quality of your life, except while still living through it (and in fond memories). But, once the time has passed .... a relationship passes with it.
so, let it pass .. move on the next page of your life.
Owning and possessing the other person is actually damning your soul .. not bringing you love, at all.
But, I don't know what he meant ... I'm just running on how I interpreted it.
Posted by LovablePosted by hydorah
Interesting, I read the OP and saw the word "commitment" and it made me realize women seem to be only attached to commitment or relationship. At least that's the impression I get from all thse relationship discussions.
I have the impression that men are only interested in either sex or love and don't really care about the relationship itself, whereas women are throwing around words such as "commitment", "connection", "bonding" and seem to only care about a formal relationship and consider love and/or sex as accessory to this goal.
I probably don't represent all males, and since I'm older I have a dfferent point of view than most DXP guys, but this thread made me realize I don't care about the relationship at all. For me romantic love does not necessarily equate relationship.
@hydorah Now THIS is an interesting statement to me...but also confusing as I am using my woman brain and trying to wrap that around the male perspective. Can you explain further what you mean by not caring about the relationship aspect at all?
click to expand
It takes a life to know oneself
I have come to the conclusion that I am only interested in either sex or love but that the actual relationship is a formality and an accessory to this end.
And I have also come to the conclusion (maybe erroneous), after reading a lot of relationship threads, that most women care about the quality of the relationship first rather than actual romance or sex.
Keep in mind I'm 44 y.o. and I would probably not have supported the same idea 20 years ago. But that's because I didn't know my own self and now it seems as a logical conclusion to me.
Why do women think bcuz I don't fall for facades and just stating facts that's I've seen and experienced that I've been hurt? Thats libras reasoning, she just cant accept the fact that othet women can see past superficial bs.
I want to know that, bcuz I think it's a ludicrous cop out and start an argument, and it's not cute btw.
I don't do fwb's, and I'm the one who leaves the relationship if I feel it's not going anywhere or I start to see red flags, and I pick up on their bs rather quickly.
I'm a slow fade expert, and it drives people nuts!!
It's hard to find a man where I live that meets my standards, but I DON'T want to compromise them either.
If my plane crashes, have a great life everyone. Ttyl.
I want to know that, bcuz I think it's a ludicrous cop out and start an argument, and it's not cute btw.
I don't do fwb's, and I'm the one who leaves the relationship if I feel it's not going anywhere or I start to see red flags, and I pick up on their bs rather quickly.
I'm a slow fade expert, and it drives people nuts!!
It's hard to find a man where I live that meets my standards, but I DON'T want to compromise them either.
If my plane crashes, have a great life everyone. Ttyl.
Posted by Greentea
I'm a slow fade expert, and it drives people nuts!!
People complain all the time that the guy isn't giving them closure, isn't communicating to them ..... when in reality, they really want a slow fade ..... even if they don't know it.
Because I guarantee you, they absolutely do NOT want to hear, "I don't want to be with you any longer" or,
"I don't like you"
Interesting
Benefit of having a girlfriend like emotional security
Most people want security amd stability though..
Well....most people strive to achieve security and stability without help from a significant other.
In my opinion:
1. The allure of a long term commitment is stronger for those who want to start breeding soon. I'm not sure why a man who only wants sex but fakes commitment is going to put up with the risk of paying alimony for the next two decades. It would be like collecting change from the train line, minutes before the train comes.
2. To those women who are not keen to breed, faking commitment should be unnecessary.Two people could have an amazingly good relationship even if they know it has an expiry date. Wouldn't you want to embark on an exciting holiday (and pay hefty for it) if you know it will only last for a moment?
It's all about experience and memories, which are NOT MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE with stability and security.
In my opinion:
1. The allure of a long term commitment is stronger for those who want to start breeding soon. I'm not sure why a man who only wants sex but fakes commitment is going to put up with the risk of paying alimony for the next two decades. It would be like collecting change from the train line, minutes before the train comes.
2. To those women who are not keen to breed, faking commitment should be unnecessary.Two people could have an amazingly good relationship even if they know it has an expiry date. Wouldn't you want to embark on an exciting holiday (and pay hefty for it) if you know it will only last for a moment?
It's all about experience and memories, which are NOT MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE with stability and security.
I have read both of your comments in here.
Greentea's words are rational .... while yours @libraqueen are juvenile
You act superior, and your words represent that. If you don't feel it, then perhaps you should do a self check to find out why your words contradict your feels.
Posted by Undineyes! you don't have to "breed" at all. my ex's mother loves her companionship with a younger man( 30 years younger) and she was past 50 when she met him. It wasn't about breeding. it was about "companionship"
Well....most people strive to achieve security and stability without help from a significant other.
In my opinion:
1. The allure of a long term commitment is stronger for those who want to start breeding soon. I'm not sure why a man who only wants sex but fakes commitment is going to put up with the risk of paying alimony for the next two decades. It would be like collecting change from the train line, minutes before the train comes.
2. To those women who are not keen to breed, faking commitment should be unnecessary.Two people could have an amazingly good relationship even if they know it has an expiry date. Wouldn't you want to embark on an exciting holiday (and pay hefty for it) if you know it will only last for a moment?
It's all about experience and memories, which are NOT MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE with stability and security.
and two people mature enough to want what the other have, a give and take. they are harmonious.
they don't need to "breed".
Posted by GreenteaPosted by AriesLovePosted by GreenteaPosted by AriesLovePosted by GreenteaPosted by AriesLovePosted by geegeeEveryone is different. Her reasons for being married are different than others. It might be for support and companionship. Or she is not mentally strong to leave.Posted by AriesLoveI don't understand it either but it happens. The comments reminded of a Libra guy that habitually cheats on his Libra wife. I'm 100% sure she knows. They have little ones together. I'm guessing that's why she's sticking it out.Posted by geegeeSo you stay and get dogged because of your children.Posted by AriesLoveThat doesn't work for most women. Especially when kids are involved.Posted by GreenteaAll bad things come to light.Posted by libraqueen
You'd have to be really dumb to not know when a guy just wants sex or not.
There are men out there who are a bit more cunning sophisticated in that dept. Just like someone cheating on their spouse, in most cases there would be tell tell signs, but there are men that keep it locked down at home, while having some side piece once in a while, so their spouse/so have no clue what they've truly been up to.
And if you think there aren't men out there like that, you're not as smart as you think you are.
When you find out get the hell on.
Like I said it just boils down to being secure within yourself. Because you can't control anyone and you can't control the situation. But you can control everything you do.
I'm not understanding that theory.
Maybe she's not bored. Being bored is a cop out reason.
Make me Chief Captain then!
Done. No need to ask.
Yes please because once again your topic becomes me.
click to expand
You always make it about you Ghandi, even when you have nothing to be proud about. Yet you have all the answers, but can't find answers to your own boredom in relationships.. typical know it all but naive Aries I guess.
I can't even take you seriously.
I didn'
dn't see that earlier. but I agree on greentea again. being bored in a relationship is copping out. it's just not serious.Posted by libraqueenis your relationship with your mother also great? I take my mother's wisdom seriously. and my grandmother's.Posted by bkbella86Have you seen her comments? She's a moron. I in no way feel superior. Just saying I love my daddy and trust him.Posted by libraqueenI hate when women act like this. Why you gotta down someone cuz they may have been played? You feel superior? Well good for you, that you never got lied to, played and strung along. And not every woman had a dad to protect them and show them about men. Good for you that you did. You're lucky.
"Don't get bitter get better" take your own advice, and you aren't getting younger. Better get married and have those imaginary two kids you were talking about.
@Greentea 😉
click to expand
vixen's explantion on the handbag was funny. lol 😛 heehee.
like some kind of cycle. 😛
like some kind of cycle. 😛
Posted by tizianiwhere's your sense of romance? I mean what if there is really LOVE between them? sheeesh.
Now young men conning older women for money, that's a professional circle.
and it's not all about fundamentals? (sure it feeds you )
but they are happy and cozy in their little world.
edit - especially since I remember my ex's mother and her 30 years younger man.
they are so cozy together. I don't know his sign, forgot, but I remember hers. Early March, because we used to celebrate her birthdays yearly.
ckquote> Posted by libraqueen
We're all adults and have no one to blame but ourselves for our mistakes.
If you choose not to learn from it and would rather blame the people that's on them.
You mean like this .......
Posted by libraqueenPosted by P-AngelNo disrespect P-Angel but I don't feel the need to.
then perhaps you should do a self check to find out why your words contradict your feels.
click to expand
I just hope people can see the difference between "confidence", and lack of moral sorrow, when reading some of the posts on here. I can see the difference for sure, especially with one poster in particular.
Posted by P-AngelExactly!! Also the reason why I have to do a slow fade is when I've already indicated that I feel that they're not right for me, or its not going to work, then they try to change their angle. I've actually had to tell a guy flat out "I don't feel anything for you. No, I don't want to hang out, stop calling me!" due to frustration.Posted by Greentea
I'm a slow fade expert, and it drives people nuts!!
People complain all the time that the guy isn't giving them closure, isn't communicating to them ..... when in reality, they really want a slow fade ..... even if they don't know it.
Because I guarantee you, they absolutely do NOT want to hear, "I don't want to be with you any longer" or,
"I don't like you"
click to expand
I didn't want to have to take it there, but I couldn't be nice about it anymore. I think he thought I was playing hard to get or something, I don't know.
Posted by GreenteaGreentea, exactly when and how do you come to the conclusion a guy isn't right for you?Posted by P-AngelExactly!! Also the reason why I have to do a slow fade is when I've already indicated that I feel that they're not right for me, or its not going to work, then they try to change their angle. I've actually had to tell a guy flat out "I don't feel anything for you. No, I don't want to hang out, stop calling me!" due to frustration.Posted by Greentea
I'm a slow fade expert, and it drives people nuts!!
People complain all the time that the guy isn't giving them closure, isn't communicating to them ..... when in reality, they really want a slow fade ..... even if they don't know it.
Because I guarantee you, they absolutely do NOT want to hear, "I don't want to be with you any longer" or,
"I don't like you"
I didn't want to have to take it there, but I couldn't be nice about it anymore. I think he thought I was playing hard to get or something, I don't know.
click to expand
Preach, Big Mama Fish. Reminds me of women who go as far as marrying a guy mainly because he's a good provider while in the back of their mind they're thinking if not convinced they can do much better. Then the guy gets cheated on at some point because he isn't dominant / exciting enough or God knows what. Humans are just shameless opportunists =/
Posted by libraqueenPosted by lisabethur8My mother always told me to listen to my father. Smh, stop trying to change my mind. The way I think works for me. Let me do me, and you do you. I'm happy. Why do you care how I think?
I didn't see that earlier. but I agree on greentea again. being bored in a relationship is copping out. it's just not serious.Posted by libraqueenis your relationship with your mother also great? I take my mother's wisdom seriously. and my grandmother's.Posted by bkbella86Have you seen her comments? She's a moron. I in no way feel superior. Just saying I love my daddy and trust him.Posted by libraqueenI hate when women act like this. Why you gotta down someone cuz they may have been played? You feel superior? Well good for you, that you never got lied to, played and strung along. And not every woman had a dad to protect them and show them about men. Good for you that you did. You're lucky.
"Don't get bitter get better" take your own advice, and you aren't getting younger. Better get married and have those imaginary two kids you were talking about.
@Greentea 😉
click to expand
no one's trying to change your mind. it just seemed like you don't like women's wisdom, so now I understand..you prefer the men. (seeing as how your mother said to listen to father) I just tried to figure out why you think that way so now I know.
Posted by AriesLovePosted by lisabethur8
I didn't see that earlier. but I agree on greentea again. being bored in a relationship is copping out. it's just not serious.Posted by libraqueenPosted by bkbella86Posted by libraqueenI hate when women act like this. Why you gotta down someone cuz they may have been played? You feel superior? Well good for you, that you never got lied to, played and strung along. And not every woman had a dad to protect them and show them about men. Good for you that you did. You're lucky.
"Don't get bitter get better" take your own advice, and you aren't getting younger. Better get married and have those imaginary two kids you were talking about.
@Greentea 😉
Have you seen her comments? She's a moron. I in no way feel superior. Just saying I love my daddy and trust him.
is your relationship with your mother also great? I take my mother's wisdom seriously. and my grandmother's.
Well it happens to a lot of marriages and relationships. People grow apart. I know you've heard of things like the 7 year itch. A cop out is to stay somewhere that's not progressing and you are not happy because you are too lazy and insecure to move on.
But that's life, he and I both remarried. What's sad is to go around walking and thinking paranoia like everyone is out to get you. It's not being sophisticated it's being a pessimistic woman holding on to past failures. Sophistication is being wise AND confident.
click to expand
sounds like a lot of people get together due to loneliness then realize when the right one comes along, it's go time.
Posted by libraqueenso interesting!!Posted by tizianiIt's just a delusion. Men get bored sometimes and leave. That's OKAY. If a woman stays in a relationship for 20 years and the dude doesn't marry them and leaves, the man has every right to do so.
It's thin to me. It doesn't make sense. I like to talk and write about cons all day, actually, because they are based on logic.
I've never heard of professionals dedicating their life and time to just conquering someone for sex. Fetishists and people who are slightly psychotic, sure... maybe... I don't know much about that but it's at least plausible. Whereas saying there are professional men out there who go 12 months or more, of their own life and time, just for some sexual conquest.... It's real thin.
My father always said you're single until you're married. People can walk out anytime, they don't owe anyone anything.click to expand
we were just out with a couple last night drinking and eating at a restaurant, and the couple in question are living together with a baby and a house bought together, and they never married but been together a long time now.
we were talking about attending all sorts of different cultured weddings, and while the guy was talking to my husband, the young woman talked to me saying, in her gesture with her thumb pointing to her guy, "I want to get married but he doesn't."
I sighed.
what can I say— I said, well....you both have children together, bought a home together..what more do you need? maybe just more patience?
and later I saw them hugging and kissing, and they are so sweet together. but I can see in her eyes, she wants to marry very badly.
Posted by ImTheRamlol I think you can do a search for active people's names on this site too.Posted by Chance_11I found him !!!!
lol agree
@lisabethur8
@ElleDuMonde
Mystery solved hahaclick to expand
Posted by AriesLovePosted by lisabethur8Posted by AriesLovePosted by lisabethur8
I didn't see that earlier. but I agree on greentea again. being bored in a relationship is copping out. it's just not serious.Posted by libraqueenPosted by bkbella86Posted by libraqueenI hate when women act like this. Why you gotta down someone cuz they may have been played? You feel superior? Well good for you, that you never got lied to, played and strung along. And not every woman had a dad to protect them and show them about men. Good for you that you did. You're lucky.
"Don't get bitter get better" take your own advice, and you aren't getting younger. Better get married and have those imaginary two kids you were talking about.
@Greentea 😉
Have you seen her comments? She's a moron. I in no way feel superior. Just saying I love my daddy and trust him.
is your relationship with your mother also great? I take my mother's wisdom seriously. and my grandmother's.
Well it happens to a lot of marriages and relationships. People grow apart. I know you've heard of things like the 7 year itch. A cop out is to stay somewhere that's not progressing and you are not happy because you are too lazy and insecure to move on.
But that's life, he and I both remarried. What's sad is to go around walking and thinking paranoia like everyone is out to get you. It's not being sophisticated it's being a pessimistic woman holding on to past failures. Sophistication is being wise AND confident.
sounds like a lot of people get together due to loneliness then realize when the right one comes along, it's go time.
Another woman creating assumptions based on her poor logic. Marriage isn't the cure to loneliness companionship is. How many people get "married" because they are lonely when there are other options?
"When the right one comes along" would imply you were cheating during the marriage to be able to find and conclude he's the right one. Correct?
Sorry you were lonely when you met your husband and your right one has not come along yet. I mean this is your theory.
click to expand
dude I don't want to argue. it's exhausting. I was making an observation of people getting together due to loneliness. *shrug* it's what they like.
Posted by AriesLovePosted by lisabethur8So this woman only has herself to blame for sticking around. Clearly she wants marriage and he isn't ready to marry but he wants a baby, live together and her to act like a wife.Posted by libraqueenPosted by tiziani
It's thin to me. It doesn't make sense. I like to talk and write about cons all day, actually, because they are based on logic.
I've never heard of professionals dedicating their life and time to just conquering someone for sex. Fetishists and people who are slightly psychotic, sure... maybe... I don't know much about that but it's at least plausible. Whereas saying there are professional men out there who go 12 months or more, of their own life and time, just for some sexual conquest.... It's real thin.
It's just a delusion. Men get bored sometimes and leave. That's OKAY. If a woman stays in a relationship for 20 years and the dude doesn't marry them and leaves, the man has every right to do so.
My father always said you're single until you're married. People can walk out anytime, they don't owe anyone anything.
so interesting!!
we were just out with a couple last night drinking and eating at a restaurant, and the couple in question are living together with a baby and a house bought together, and they never married but been together a long time now.
we were talking about attending all sorts of different cultured weddings, and while the guy was talking to my husband, the young woman talked to me saying, in her gesture with her thumb pointing to her guy, "I want to get married but he doesn't."
I sighed.
what can I say— I said, well....you both have children together, bought a home together..what more do you need? maybe just more patience?
and later I saw them hugging and kissing, and they are so sweet together. but I can see in her eyes, she wants to marry very badly.
But I'm sure you women will put all the blame on him because she is just the puppet behind the master who is running the show.
click to expand
it seems that it happens ALOT though.
lol you were quoting me.
To me, a lot of this boils down to illusions. The culprit is society itself. Keep in mind, we're only 100,000 years or so out of the jungle. We haven't evolved much past the basic need to feed and survive by survive I mean through time.
I got a good laugh out of the term "entitled nice guy" given that most of us don't realize how selfish our intentions are...even when they're "good." Hence the former in my first paragraph...illusions. I'm not suggesting that we're evil, but our egos have painted over the real reasons why we do things in the first place.
I got a good laugh out of the term "entitled nice guy" given that most of us don't realize how selfish our intentions are...even when they're "good." Hence the former in my first paragraph...illusions. I'm not suggesting that we're evil, but our egos have painted over the real reasons why we do things in the first place.
Posted by beautifulsoul74Well when first meetong someone or dating it could be a character flaw I saw right away that turned me off to them.Posted by GreenteaGreentea, exactly when and how do you come to the conclusion a guy isn't right for you?Posted by P-AngelExactly!! Also the reason why I have to do a slow fade is when I've already indicated that I feel that they're not right for me, or its not going to work, then they try to change their angle. I've actually had to tell a guy flat out "I don't feel anything for you. No, I don't want to hang out, stop calling me!" due to frustration.Posted by Greentea
I'm a slow fade expert, and it drives people nuts!!
People complain all the time that the guy isn't giving them closure, isn't communicating to them ..... when in reality, they really want a slow fade ..... even if they don't know it.
Because I guarantee you, they absolutely do NOT want to hear, "I don't want to be with you any longer" or,
"I don't like you"
I didn't want to have to take it there, but I couldn't be nice about it anymore. I think he thought I was playing hard to get or something, I don't know.
click to expand
In a relationship, what I dont like is when people start to get lazy, too comfortable, where they start to become unreliable. When they don't try, or don't want to make a change. A Cap always try to make things work, we usually ask ourselves "how can I make things better, what can I do better" when someone brings up an issue they have, and when someone gets stuck in their ways to where they don't even want to try, that's when I start backing up.
I realize they won't change, they don't want to do the work (even if they say they do) then that's when I know this arrangement isn't going to work for us, and I'm out.
Posted by AriesLoveNo, a marriage is different to me. I wouldn't leave bcuz I was bored. If every person divorced bcuz of boredom, there wouldn't be many marriages left.Posted by GreenteaBAM! DivorcePosted by beautifulsoul74Well when first meetong someone or dating it could be a character flaw I saw right away that turned me off to them.Posted by GreenteaGreentea, exactly when and how do you come to the conclusion a guy isn't right for you?Posted by P-AngelExactly!! Also the reason why I have to do a slow fade is when I've already indicated that I feel that they're not right for me, or its not going to work, then they try to change their angle. I've actually had to tell a guy flat out "I don't feel anything for you. No, I don't want to hang out, stop calling me!" due to frustration.Posted by Greentea
I'm a slow fade expert, and it drives people nuts!!
People complain all the time that the guy isn't giving them closure, isn't communicating to them ..... when in reality, they really want a slow fade ..... even if they don't know it.
Because I guarantee you, they absolutely do NOT want to hear, "I don't want to be with you any longer" or,
"I don't like you"
I didn't want to have to take it there, but I couldn't be nice about it anymore. I think he thought I was playing hard to get or something, I don't know.
In a relationship, what I dont like is when people start to get lazy, too comfortable. When they don't try, or don't want to make a change. A Cap always tries to make things work, we usually ask ourselves "how can I make things better, what can I do better" when someone brings up an issue they have, and when someone is stuck in their ways to where they don't even want to try, that's when I start backing up.
I realize they won't change, they don't want to do the work (even if they say they say they do) then that's when I know this arrangement isn't going to work for us, and I'm out.
click to expand
Posted by AriesLove(Sigh)..yes I get that. You and I are on two different chapters, when it comes to marriage. What's to say, they wouldn't get divorced AGAIN when the boredom comes....Posted by GreenteaNo there would be a high number of divorces which there is.Posted by AriesLoveNo, a marriage is different to me. I wouldn't leave bcuz I was bored. If every person divorced bcuz of boredom, there wouldn't be many marriages left.Posted by GreenteaBAM! DivorcePosted by beautifulsoul74Well when first meetong someone or dating it could be a character flaw I saw right away that turned me off to them.Posted by GreenteaGreentea, exactly when and how do you come to the conclusion a guy isn't right for you?Posted by P-AngelExactly!! Also the reason why I have to do a slow fade is when I've already indicated that I feel that they're not right for me, or its not going to work, then they try to change their angle. I've actually had to tell a guy flat out "I don't feel anything for you. No, I don't want to hang out, stop calling me!" due to frustration.Posted by Greentea
I'm a slow fade expert, and it drives people nuts!!
People complain all the time that the guy isn't giving them closure, isn't communicating to them ..... when in reality, they really want a slow fade ..... even if they don't know it.
Because I guarantee you, they absolutely do NOT want to hear, "I don't want to be with you any longer" or,
"I don't like you"
I didn't want to have to take it there, but I couldn't be nice about it anymore. I think he thought I was playing hard to get or something, I don't know.
In a relationship, what I dont like is when people start to get lazy, too comfortable. When they don't try, or don't want to make a change. A Cap always tries to make things work, we usually ask ourselves "how can I make things better, what can I do better" when someone brings up an issue they have, and when someone is stuck in their ways to where they don't even want to try, that's when I start backing up.
I realize they won't change, they don't want to do the work (even if they say they say they do) then that's when I know this arrangement isn't going to work for us, and I'm out.
People get married to other people.
click to expand
Posted by AriesLove...k, and you know all this how?
@Greentea
Yes we are on different chapters I do things according to my standards. I don't throw up morality but then have relationships that include pre marital sex.
I don't ever want to feel like I'm trapped somewhere. If things aren't progressing I'm out. Same people that state "for better or for worse" are granting divorces as well as getting them.
I hope you never get a divorce I hate to see what you'd do to yourself. In all honesty you'd never recover.
Posted by AriesLoveProbably bcuz I take marriage seriously, it's not all about sex (waiting or not) and boredom for me. 😛Posted by GreenteaYou take relationships way too serious to be waiting for marriage.Posted by AriesLove...k, and you know all this how?
@Greentea
Yes we are on different chapters I do things according to my standards. I don't throw up morality but then have relationships that include pre marital sex.
I don't ever want to feel like I'm trapped somewhere. If things aren't progressing I'm out. Same people that state "for better or for worse" are granting divorces as well as getting them.
I hope you never get a divorce I hate to see what you'd do to yourself. In all honesty you'd never recover.
click to expand
And believe me, I would recover, bcuz we only get better.
Posted by AriesLoveHey, only boring people get bored honey. Let that marinatePosted by GreenteaYou are a Capricorn the epitome of boring. You' can't get any more boring besides dead.Posted by AriesLoveProbably bcuz I take marriage seriously, it's not all about sex (waiting or not) and boredom for me. 😛Posted by GreenteaYou take relationships way too serious to be waiting for marriage.Posted by AriesLove...k, and you know all this how?
@Greentea
Yes we are on different chapters I do things according to my standards. I don't throw up morality but then have relationships that include pre marital sex.
I don't ever want to feel like I'm trapped somewhere. If things aren't progressing I'm out. Same people that state "for better or for worse" are granting divorces as well as getting them.
I hope you never get a divorce I hate to see what you'd do to yourself. In all honesty you'd never recover.
click to expand
Posted by AriesLovePosted by GreenteaNo I'm going to let that roll right off the top onto the floor where you can pick it up.Posted by AriesLoveHey, only boring people get bored honey. Let that marinatePosted by GreenteaYou are a Capricorn the epitome of boring. You' can't get any more boring besides dead.Posted by AriesLoveProbably bcuz I take marriage seriously, it's not all about sex (waiting or not) and boredom for me. 😛Posted by GreenteaYou take relationships way too serious to be waiting for marriage.Posted by AriesLove...k, and you know all this how?
@Greentea
Yes we are on different chapters I do things according to my standards. I don't throw up morality but then have relationships that include pre marital sex.
I don't ever want to feel like I'm trapped somewhere. If things aren't progressing I'm out. Same people that state "for better or for worse" are granting divorces as well as getting them.
I hope you never get a divorce I hate to see what you'd do to yourself. In all honesty you'd never recover.
click to expand
...mkay....it'll be a loooong while then. Better pack a lunch. Hope.you don't get bored sitting there.
lol @Greentea and Arieslove.
what happened, Arieslove, you had some really great advise and insights on men and what to do.. but things have changed!!
what happened, Arieslove, you had some really great advise and insights on men and what to do.. but things have changed!!
@Greentea:
Going to your response to my question, I see what you're saying. I guess what I'm getting at is that at times slow fading is used...or better yet the process of it is used to manipulate someone.
I've witnessed some feign backing out simply to string the other person along. Specifically, the person who is "slow fading" is using the "flaws" of the other person as reasons to leave when in truth that person has always been who they were from the start and never changed. Essentially using slow fading to create drama to instill temporary passion.
Going to your response to my question, I see what you're saying. I guess what I'm getting at is that at times slow fading is used...or better yet the process of it is used to manipulate someone.
I've witnessed some feign backing out simply to string the other person along. Specifically, the person who is "slow fading" is using the "flaws" of the other person as reasons to leave when in truth that person has always been who they were from the start and never changed. Essentially using slow fading to create drama to instill temporary passion.
Posted by beautifulsoul74It makes you wonder if they got involved for all the right reasons, doesn't it? ...But most likely they didn't.
@Greentea:
Going to your response to my question, I see what you're saying. I guess what I'm getting at is that at times slow fading is used...or better yet the process of it is used to manipulate someone.
I've witnessed some feign backing out simply to string the other person along. Specifically, the person who is "slow fading" is using the "flaws" of the other person as reasons to leave when in truth that person has always been who they were from the start and never changed. Essentially using slow fading to create drama to instill temporary passion.
I'm not sure exactly how to answer this, I usually do the slow fade in the very beginning stages. I'm not very good at not recognizing flaws. Nobody is perfect, so I base it off of what kind of flaws I can live with and what I WON'T.
I get to know people slowly and it takes me a while to progress things when it comes to a potential partner. I pay really close attention, and upfront with what I'm looking for if I'm starting to see myself (possibly) getting serious.
But if someone is doing the slow fade just to stir up drama, and for temperary passionate fixes, it makes you wonder if they are in it for the right reasons, or if they're right for eachother or if the real connection is just a sexual one, but usually something superficial.
I'd like to think that I take relationships more seriously than that.
No one is perfect at judging character.
That's why you take take the time to get to know someone before hopping in the sheets (if you're looking for more than just something casual).
It's not going to be 100% effective. Mistakes will still happen. But at least you've done your due diligence. At that point you can honestly say it was the other person, not you.
.............
Been thru this out recently myself. Talked to guy on Twitter three years nearly everyday. Skyp, phone, hundreds of pics. After a year it turned more romantic/ flirty (let my guard down a bit bc he didn't jump right into this- convinced myself it was ok bc we had "foundation"). Plus I didn't fall for him, wanted to just see where it may go in real life.
went to his country last month for group tour... He said he wanted to meet up but couldn't find the time. Then after 2 weeks he goes on vaca now 3 hours from me and wants me to join. I said no bc at this time I was not with the group but just a friend. She didn't want to go nor did she want me to go alone in a volitile country.
He flipped his s*** and said he never wants to talk to me again, that I'm all talk no action etc.
MY intent in meeting was to finally put s face to this guy, see him in real life- and just see what happens. Seems obvious what his intent was, if he was willing to blow off three years friendship bc he didn't get sex lol.
He immediately went back to social media and is pursuing some girl who's been throwing herself at him for a month. Lol good luck there buddy!!!
Point is- character will show itself in time!
That's why you take take the time to get to know someone before hopping in the sheets (if you're looking for more than just something casual).
It's not going to be 100% effective. Mistakes will still happen. But at least you've done your due diligence. At that point you can honestly say it was the other person, not you.
.............
Been thru this out recently myself. Talked to guy on Twitter three years nearly everyday. Skyp, phone, hundreds of pics. After a year it turned more romantic/ flirty (let my guard down a bit bc he didn't jump right into this- convinced myself it was ok bc we had "foundation"). Plus I didn't fall for him, wanted to just see where it may go in real life.
went to his country last month for group tour... He said he wanted to meet up but couldn't find the time. Then after 2 weeks he goes on vaca now 3 hours from me and wants me to join. I said no bc at this time I was not with the group but just a friend. She didn't want to go nor did she want me to go alone in a volitile country.
He flipped his s*** and said he never wants to talk to me again, that I'm all talk no action etc.
MY intent in meeting was to finally put s face to this guy, see him in real life- and just see what happens. Seems obvious what his intent was, if he was willing to blow off three years friendship bc he didn't get sex lol.
He immediately went back to social media and is pursuing some girl who's been throwing herself at him for a month. Lol good luck there buddy!!!
Point is- character will show itself in time!
lol. too much throwing shadow.
Meaning?
Posted by Debcabtorra77not you. @arieslove & the libra.
Meaning?
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
I know everyone has their own definition of hickies. I just wanted to tell my friend the different opinions of others on hickies. If someone gives you a hickey is it to mark their territory ? Or out of spite of love making got little rough ? I just want t
So at what age is it not socially acceptable to be living with parents?
Is it dependent on age or gender?
What about financial situations?
Or even health of the individuals involved?
Is it even fair to make a judgement without knowing the full stor
For the men: when you are talking with some girls (friends) more than with others, does it always mean you are not thinking that much about the one you are not talking to? do you have to talk to think about that person? why is it easy for you to talk to o
Has anyone been to a wedding recently?
I'm curious to what new trends are popular as well as some fresh ideas.
What's in?
What's out?
What kind of food was served?
Etc.
We're doing an autumn/fall theme and want a simple, inexpensive, but e
how important is intellectual stimulation to you in relationships? does it make or break anything?
I'm guessing my Mercury conjunct Venus has to do with this even though it's a wide orb.
I'm feeling guilty, but I used to have very intriguing conver
I've talked to people who has told me they'd like it that way so they wouldn't have to worry about other people trying to talk to their partner and they think it would decrease the chances of cheating. And I've also talked to people who told me they would
So my ex and I have been broken up for a year and6 months now and I was making terrific progress throughout the time. She had found herself a new bf while her and I were talking about us. In short terms, she basically kept me as her 2nd option, and when s
I see tons of threads stating that people are confused about where they stand in a relationship. I'm constantly seeing people ask if they are even in an actual relationship or just fucking. I get that everyone approaches relationships differently and at d
Well his mom got us both together so we could iron out our problems for the sake of the baby boy. Like I told the Baby Momma, I don't have anything against her. I have no issues honestly, except for the recent drama. So I asked her what did I do to her to
I'm having a problem with jealousy, and I don't want it to affect my relationship.
It's obvious my boyfriend still has feelings for his "Baby Mama" (what he calls her). I'm aware that we can love more than one person, and in different ways. It isn't s
My husband has made the decision that we should be married. After all these Fuckboy games Like he came to this conclusion after he fucked up. Lmao. Not a joint effort. He did. Like he did when he decided our marriage wasnt great enough to fight for
I'm in a situation that the guy told me he's lusting. I just don't want nothing to do with it. My gut feeling told me along time ago to let it go because the discomfort of not knowing what the situation is. I think I accepted to know what it is but I was
I hate when I sit and wonder why a relationship ended. And even when I know the answer, it still really isn't an answer. Like when you ask a question and someone gives you an answer, you're like "but why....but why?...but why?".... It's so hard to
How to deal with Baby Momma Drama?
Im getting to know a gemini guy and i like him but so far as a friend only.. but he developed feelings for me and im at a phase where i dont know what i feel for him bec. i just got out of a relationship a few months ago. I tried reading into our plac
Curious how people feel about red heads. Are you attracted to them? What attracts you? Unattracted? What do you find unattractive? Would you date a redhead? And what stereotypes do you see a plied to redheads? And I think it's important to
of the mentality of "finding someone that'll take care of you" when it comes to relationships? "Okay honey, when you grow up, you find yourself a man that'll take care of you!"
Hi- I have been seeing someone for a couple of weeks now and the flirtation and sexual tension is super heavy between us. You can say I have been teasing him very cruelly but withholding anything beyond second base. How long do you think I should keep
Her: I want to know where u see this going, or if u even see this going anywhere past being FWB. I wanted to have this convo face to face but since I've already asked, I'd appreciate an answer. Him: So you're having a change of heart Her: What do u
I know. I thought she was ok now she's just being a total jack ass. I'm wondering if she was dropped on her head a few times. Opinions are not facts.