to anyone who got married at a young age

or was in a serious, committed relationship...do you feel that you were ready for it? mentally, emotionally, physically?

could you state pros and cons of your experiences?

I was 14 years old when I binded myself to another person .. way too young.


However, what a great learning experience.

I was 18 when my husband and I first started seriously dating. Thankfully we waited 7 years to marry. I'm so happy we did this. I couldn't imagine getting married so young. But, looking back, I wish I wouldn't have been so concerned with having a relationship at that age. I missed out on many years of really finding out who I am as well as exploring the world. I do not feel like I was ready at 18, but I pushed forward because I was in love with the man and really wanted to be with him.
I'm not sure there are any pros to this except how good it can feel to be in a loving, committed relationship. It really helped having someone always there for me when I was "growing up". It's also a great feeling that we've been together so long and still really love each other.
I do not encourage this though...to all those out there in a rush, I say go out and spread your wings and really find yourself before you commit your life to another.
I'm only now just discovering who I really am in my late 20's. I believe this is common for most women, but I think I would have have like to enjoy it a little sooner.

My friend is 20 and is about to get married, she seem very happy so does he. They both seem mature and it stay like that.

i was in a committed relationship at 19 and it lasted for 7 years. it was a great learning experience but, i'll admit, i wasn't completely ready. i should have dated around a little bit more and got it outta my system. i am now sort of re-living that part of my life at the age of 27. luckily i consider myself still young enough to do so. no regrets though. it gave me the maturity and insight as to how a "marriage" functions and thrives. in these types of living situations, unfortunately, it does take more than love to make it last.

like ramfishtwins, i agree. i was so focused on my significant other that i lost myself. i only just started discovering who i was after i broke up with him. so, my advice, test the waters of love. it was great! just don't be so serious about it and have fun instead. it's so much better when things fall into place when u get it right on the inside first and know what u really want.

I first married at 18, he was 19. Divorced a little over two years later. I was a good wife and mother, but I'll be the first to admit that though I was about as ready as any young woman CAN be, that I was still young, naive, and disillusioned. He was completely unprepared for marriage and fatherhood (still is, 20 years later LOL). It was a learning experience, though. One I don't regret.

It's a very young age for people to get married. 50 years ago, when it was more common, I feel kids matured faster and approached marriage differently. Marriage was forever, and you were expected to work it out because society at large did not think highly of divorce. Back then, a man that ran out on his family was vilified and ostracized by the community... he was not accepted. Friends, family, church, all aghast. Good jobs were not given to the weasel who took off on his wife and kids, etc.

Nowadays, kids do not actually mature (emotionally, mentally) as fast as they do physically. They are generally unprepared for the rigors of marriage and family life.

Posted by FLeo Lives On

Posted by wheelhomies
or was in a serious, committed relationship...do you feel that you were ready for it? mentally, emotionally, physically?

could you state pros and cons of your experiences?

I met my first husband at 17, married him at 21 and divorced him at 34.

Education wise we both were h.s. graduates and family wise, we both were raised in two parent households. Because we had those basics in common, we both were pretty rounded at young ages. We may of had one, two TOPS arguments in that period. We got along very well although he felt there was some my way or the highway thing going on with me. When we weren't working, we spent 95% of our time together. There was ALOT of sex through the entire marriage -- that never changed over the years, if anything, it may of even increased. Given that description, I don't think I need to say he's a Scorpio and, you already know I'm a Leo.

Take what you want from my story and leave the rest.

click to expand

Hey FLeo!

I like that story - can you say passion? Shame you divorced him though - go and get him back! LOL!

What's with Leo's and the my-way-or-the-highway 'tude?! I have told mine that the highway runs both ways!

Posted by virgogotme
"Nowadays, kids do not actually mature (emotionally, mentally) as fast as they do physically. They are generally unprepared for the rigors of marriage and family life."


Hence why they shouldn't screw on the first date. In reference to "just curious" that is.
Which would make your statement on that thread somewhat hypocritical and exactly what I said.
Are you still amused?
In answer to the OP here.....no.

There you go, making assumptions again. He was not a "first date" - he was one I decided to "wait" many months with, almost a year. What does being unprepared for marriage (at 18 or 19) have to do with whether or not someone chooses to have sex on a first date.. or a third... or a fifth... or a fiftieth? They are unrelated.

Now I'm nearing 40, and believe me, I have the emotional maturity to decide WHEN I might want to sleep with someone, without needing permission or acceptance from anyone else, and I certainly have more of the maturity required for marriage. Since you seemed so interested 🙂

"Nowadays, kids do not actually mature (emotionally, mentally) as fast as they do physically. They are generally unprepared for the rigors of marriage and family life."


Hence why they shouldn't screw on the first date. In reference to "just curious" that is.
Which would make your statement on that thread somewhat hypocritical and exactly what I said.
Are you still amused?
In answer to the OP here.....no.

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I also would like to know how these two are relative, to be called hypocritical?


Two people can become pregnant on thier 200th date.



How is fucking on first date relative to people being prepared for the rigors of marriage?

I had 4 marriage proposals, Pisces, 2 virgos, an aqua, and my Gem commented to me about marriage when we first met.

All those proposal were between the ages of 18 - 46. I was going to marry my sons father (pisces) but changed my mind once I saw the abusive side of him.

The two virgos, one wanted me to submit, frist and let him take over my life (NOT)... the other married someone else called and told me he made a mistake should have married me (his iissue). The aqua had issues as well that I was not going to tolerate especially when you throw a remote at me for telling him to wait another year. The Gem will be a mircle if I marry him, and if I do it will be at least 5 years of friendship first.

Marriage is something that I don't take lightly, as I am sure most people don't take lightly. I will never marry for any reason other than a mutual understanding that this requires work, communication, compromise, togetherness, honesty and trust. Not to mention the understanding that marriage is to last forever. I only want to marry one time I don't believe in divorce so I need to make sure that the person I married believes in the samething as I do.

I know marriage is work and somethings are not promised forever, I would rather lose my husband in death than to lose him because he committed infidelity.

I can't say if and when I will ever get married or I might not get married at all. All I know is that I am in no rush.

Posted by P-Angel
I was 14 years old when I binded myself to another person .. way too young.


However, what a great learning experience.

P, knowing what you know now, would you do it all over again? I only ask because 14 is super young (by today's standards) to get hitched.

Absolutely, VirgoHero ... I am who I am today because of ALL my yesterdays .. and I love myself and my life today.

Posted by P-Angel
Absolutely, VirgoHero ... I am who I am today because of ALL my yesterdays .. and I love myself and my life today.

Yea 🙂
No way in hell I'd take anything back

I was in a very serious relationship from the time I was 17 with an Aries (not my Aries now).I moved in with him while still in high school due to my parents battling it out at home and I lived with him until I was 22. The first year was ok but after that it was hell. I wanted to leave him so bad but he did the whole "if you leave I'll kill myself" thing. He was the worst drunk I'd ever seen. Drunk 24/7. He was the one that would claim I was trying to poison him.

Finally I one day I looked at him and told him I'm leaving. He started in on the "I'll kill myself" BS and I asked him if he'd like for me to go get him the gun.
He shut up and let me leave. We ended up in court over some of my things (furniture and the dog). I ended up losing most of the things that I had other then my clothes. His parents bought the house we lived in so all the morgage payments I helped make ...... I guess it was basically like paying rent rather then buying a house as he and I had agreed to do.

I learned alot from all of it. It was fun sometimes because there were alot of parties but I learned that there was a serious side to life too and that partying every single night is not a way of life. I learned not to be so trusting too.

Alot of people in my small town coupled up in high school and got married right after graduation. They start having kids and 3 or 4 years down the road they realized they missed out on some things. All the people that I know that got married immediately have gotten divorced or been through a seperation period because someone cheated. It's sad for the kids involved. Affairs are rampant in that town. Secrets and rumors..... the reason I don't live there anymore is for that. Drama! I take marriage too seriously to jump into it without some thought and experience behind the relationship. My Aries and I have been friends since high school (with a lot of sexual chemistry we never acted on) and it turned into more. I stand behind this one 100% with no doubts. I'm glad I waited for this 🙂

Unfortunetly there are NO guarantees with marriage at ANY age and whether it comes at you at a young age or an old it's HARD WORK and you BOTH have to put your everything into it!!!! IF at this point you are both totally commited and fully aware of this then it's worth pursueing. DONT be blinded by the honeymoon period and the WEDDING DAY only!!! Part of the vowels which people including myself forget is "Til death do you part"... That's what you sign the contract up for and that's what we all tend to forget because it doesnt suit anymore.....

Wheels - I was 23 years old when I got married and it lasted 8 years. It really helped settle me down however in the long run I was way to young. I really felt comfortable with myself in my 30's and that is when I got divorced. It is weird but when you turn 30, life just switches. I wish I would have done more when I was younger rather than rushing into marriage. If I could do it over again I would wait until I was in my 30's. The marriage was great for me in many ways because it really shaped me as a person, but I felt like at 30 I got wings .....if that makes sense.

PD