Verge of ennding the relationship?

I have been married for three years and was living good life. I took a very practical approach for the marriage and as a Virgo I have studied how all the other signs are compatible in marriage. As Taurus and Capricorn are best compatible, I married to a Taurus woman.

I have been very friendly to her and we both love each other well and started to have good times.

The thing is my mother-in-law is so much possessed about her daughter and never wants to leave her even after marriage. Her intension was to make her marry someone who will address all the needs but she is not concerned about her relationship with me. She was continuously interferes and involves in our daily life. My wife gives her more priority than me even in our own personal relationship.

We are blessed with a baby boy and everything was going well. My in-laws were coming to my home without informing to us. They feel that I may object that but I never did any such. Their interference has become very regular and I am missing my time with my wife and son. My wife keeps on going to her mom’s home for two days a week. I ignored that as well.

Recently I had to move to a new job as the previous one was a temp. I have been telling her that we may have to relocate to a different city and I have got the opportunity in different city. I explained everything to her and moved to new city. She left to her mom’s home and feels that I left and my son alone.

But my intention is to take her and my son to this new city and live our life. She is saying that she will not come anywhere but stays in the same city and wants me to come back to same old city so that she could spend time with her parents. We have been fighting over this continuously.

I have explained her that in a relationship everything has to be mutual but not one-sided. I tried to make her realize the priorities in relationship and necessities for living. I have been very fair to her and didn’t force her any of the situations. I told her to take enough time to spend with her parents but come back to me later.

As I have my son growing, I am taking things seriously and want to clear my debts and plan for better future. I am only expecting my wife to be with me. I don’t even want her to work and earn money.

As she is staying with her parents they are not taking care of her very well. Her parents are employed and will go to work. She and my son are not being treated well enough. She is been depressed a lot and thinking lot of unnecessary things. I have been going there meet my wife and son very often and spending time with them.

Now a days, she is fighting me too often. She thinks that our relationship is on verge of ending.

I want her to come back to me and understand it is our life and her parents have only a little part but not all and not always.

How to deal this carefully and make my wife realize important things?

Can you try explaining this to your in-laws?

What is your cultural background? Seems to me it‘s a cultural issue and not a relationship issue per se.

she sounds very immature which is very difficult - can you talk together with a religious leader ?

@Elissar18

My in-laws thinks that except their blood-relatives all the others are bad people. Even after three years of marriage they still don't think me like a family. I have been very close to them just as I am to my parents. I knew this from the beginning and tried to make them understand that people are not like what they think. But they took my kindness for granted and took it as advantage to play dice in my relationship.

@AquaNextDoor

I am an Indian. Its not a cultural issue. Its happening opposite to what supposed to happen. I am broad minded and never want to restrict anyone's freedom. I did the same to my wife. But she is not understanding.

Posted by tctaap

she sounds very immature which is very difficult - can you talk together with a religious leader ?

Those things will not help.

If her parents are sick or dying than thats understandable. Let her know how you feel. If she cant make any concessions either suck it up, or find someone who fits ur criteria. It sounds like you are the odd man out in this whole relationship between her & family. Maybe you dont fit with any of them?

Ask her why she needs to be around her parents all day like a big ass kid?

She gave birth recently and is depressed because of something called postpartum depression. Most likely.

She wants her parents around her to help her with the newborn and to lean on them for support.

Honestly you sound very selfish and jealous and insecure.

Why is it a bad thing her parents visit and she visits them 2xs per week? She loves her family. Family is important to her. Why is it a bad thing?

You want to take her to a new city where she knows no one and won’t be able to see her parents. You’ll leave everyday and go to work and she will be alone with the infant. Her depression is only going to get worse. Js.

Posted by Sagicorn

Good luck getting fixed sign anywhere out of their own way. Taurus is the most stubborn there can be and they'll always do what they want. Not even caring what you give on the other side, if they want a different road, even if it's the worst one there can ve they'll stick to it. Sorry for your situation tho. Taurus is definitelly not a good match for Virgo, regardless on what astrology says. What you can do is try a bit more to talk some sense to her and explain spouses are supposed to go together, not stick to their parents. Explain that her family now is you and her child and if that's what her priorities should be. Parents should be charished and taken care of still but you can't freeze your life and your family in order to satisfy your parents whishes and needs. She has responisibilites now and she isn't taking them serious. Instead she blames it on you. Don't let her do that. Tell her clearly if your family falls apart it's her fault for having no sense of maintaining it. I'm aware this is guilt tripping someone but unfortunatelly in this case it's true.

I did explain a lot of things to her by writing down on paper so that she could understand more clearly. I told her many times that only spouses will be together till the end of the life. Not mine or her parents or not even our kids will stay with us.

Posted by 777

If her parents are sick or dying than thats understandable. Let her know how you feel. If she cant make any concessions either suck it up, or find someone who fits ur criteria. It sounds like you are the odd man out in this whole relationship between her & family. Maybe you dont fit with any of them?

Ask her why she needs to be around her parents all day like a big ass kid?

The thing is they are senior citizens and require someone to take care of them. My wife has a brother, he is immature and doesn't take the family responsibilities. It is him who has to take of her parents. But she is trying to do what he has to do instead making him realize what's his responsibilities are. I am not odd man with respect their family. I can adjust wherever I be. I was like a family to them and was going to meet often and tried to take care of them a lot. I did lot of things than my brother-in-law did.

Posted by LadyNeptune

She gave birth recently and is depressed because of something called postpartum depression. Most likely.

She wants her parents around her to help her with the newborn and to lean on them for support.

Honestly you sound very selfish and jealous and insecure.

Why is it a bad thing her parents visit and she visits them 2xs per week? She loves her family. Family is important to her. Why is it a bad thing?

You want to take her to a new city where she knows no one and won’t be able to see her parents. You’ll leave everyday and go to work and she will be alone with the infant. Her depression is only going to get worse. Js.

I am very much aware of that. I even spent lot of days without going to office when she was pregnant and took care of her very well. She needs me more than her parents but she wants stay close to her parents for the rest of the life. I cannot lost my job and stay home for these family issues right. I also told her to stay as long as she can and can go to her parents as and when she feels to go.

It is not bad that her parents are visiting very often but they are interfering a lot and taking my family decisions with respect to my son and wife.

I am not selfish. There are moments which are private to couples only but not for all. I want to have those moments for ourselves.

Family is important to her but her family is me and our son but not her parents.

I believe that for better or worse if married the couple has to stay together. That's what marriage is.

Posted by Arachnophobia

How far is this new city away, is it a nice place?

Are you able to find work in your current city?

The new city is of around 400 mile far.

The new city is large with respect to IT and I have got a very good opportunity.

You guys from India? coming from your name

Than that's definitely a cultural thing and you should know better than me