When do you give up the deets??

So I’ve been out of the internet dating game—well, the dating game altogether, but I was wondering:



When do you share your personal information with someone you’re interested in? How early on? And how can you ever be sure they are phishing?! I’m so paranoid lol

I usually tell them that i am a shy asian girl on the 3rd date

Never... gotta keep the chase going and make them work for everything.

How personal is the info? I actually even encourage sharing instagram - helps to see if they are hiding any details like wife/kids, weirdos/players in general.

Posted by goldenfish

How personal is the info? I actually even encourage sharing instagram - helps to see if they are hiding any details like wife/kids, weirdos/players in general.

So we met via IG and he’s supposedly in Syria in Special Forces. There are some pics but very few, they all look normal enough…. But they also look like it could be a catfish….. I’m just so paranoid these days. Are you who you say you are—?!!!! I did give him my deets and he’s texted me but I feel like they are messing with me, because I asked for a picture bc I’m paranoid admittedly. And he sent a couple…. With this, “These is Bryme (his name)” …… you’re trying to mess with me now!?

Posted by AbbyNormal

Posted by goldenfish

How personal is the info? I actually even encourage sharing instagram - helps to see if they are hiding any details like wife/kids, weirdos/players in general.

So we met via IG and he’s supposedly in Syria in Special Forces. There are some pics but very few, they all look normal enough…. But they also look like it could be a catfish….. I’m just so paranoid these days. Are you who you say you are—?!!!! I did give him my deets and he’s texted me but I feel like they are messing with me, because I asked for a picture bc I’m paranoid admittedly. And he sent a couple…. With this, “These is Bryme (his name)” …… you’re trying to mess with me now!?

click to expand

Hmm yeah, sounds suspicious. Ask for video call/Facetime.

EDIT: It is okay to say something, hey I just want to make sure you are who you are, and as a woman I must be careful. Would be great if we can have a video call.

Thanks everyone!!! Confirms a bit of my suspicions. Idk if I’ll ever date again….. 🤣

Honestly I’m getting the feeling it’s this person who has tried to convince me they are a celebrity before. I’ve entertained them before because, well, it was funny and what if?!?! 😝 I believe the same person has now three times tried to do this, twice as the same celebrity and now this!!! They just changed up the story this time, but still has similarities through all three “people”. I’ve blocked the accounts and all accounts associated, but it’s weird and a bit fascinating to me the lengths some people will go to, and just how stupid they assume everyone else is. I mean, the more I talk to someone, the more I notice inconsistencies. Sometimes I wonder, am I being tested for something— ……

Posted by PlowSeason

Posted by AbbyNormal

Thanks everyone!!! Confirms a bit of my suspicions. Idk if I’ll ever date again….. 🤣

Did he text your number or message you over an app because that will immediately tell you if he's lying or not.

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It’s a number. I googled it but it led to nothing. I’m pretty much 💯 it’s fake!

I love my friends…. Y’all rock. All photos are of *drum roll please*:



Some poor bloke named Steve Kalfmans.



Now, should I contact him and tell him—?

Posted by AbbyNormal

I love my friends…. Y’all rock. All photos are of *drum roll please*:



Some poor bloke named Steve Kalfmans.



Now, should I contact him and tell him—?

Better report on Instagram. But I mean plenty of dudes with open profiles making it easy to steal a couple of pics...Just be careful and maybe use Bumble/Hinge, these apps seem to take verification seriously.

I have already made a report to IG that someone is using his identity. Found his real IG. Think I’ll message him and let him know.

And do I tell bot boy he’s caught or not?! Haha

Posted by Gobbie

Posted by AbbyNormal

he’s supposedly in Syria in Special Forces.

https://i.imgur.com/WXM45xB.gif<div class="bqfade">click to expand

This why I have you guys!

Bleh, dating someone deployed is a shit show. Would never do it again.

Posted by LadyNeptune

Bleh, dating someone deployed is a shit show. Would never do it again.

I wouldn’t mind in the place I am with life. I likes my space, and I like a man who keeps busy himself haha. But yeah, Idk if I’m ready to date at all after this! I’m just so grateful for the friends I have today…. All people who legit only want the best for me and found this dude out with this quickness! Haha

I don't give my contact info to someone I've never met before. 😁

Posted by ImperfectStorm

Posted by AbbyNormal

And do I tell bot boy he’s caught or not?! Haha

Oh damn! 😂 Yes i would say something

click to expand

Trying to decide if I want to find the words or just block and be done with it.

Posted by ImperfectStorm

Posted by AbbyNormal

Posted by ImperfectStorm

Posted by AbbyNormal

And do I tell bot boy he’s caught or not?! Haha

Oh damn! 😂 Yes i would say something

Trying to decide if I want to find the words or just block and be done with it.

It would depend on how much time was invested, if any. If he wasted a lot of my time he would have to get an ear full 😂😂😂 but if I found out pretty early I’d probably just block and go ghost

click to expand

It’s the latter, thank goodness for my paranoia 😅

Awwww no not sweet Abby 🥺 If I could get the real guy's info and knew how to ddos, I'd do that for you!

Ever since I was very young and played in online multiplayer communities, I'd come across variety of characters that would use fake or real information. 12/13 year olds aren't the best at foolproof catfishing but video call wasn't common back then so it was probably easier overall. Fast forward a decade to the Tinder and social media era with video call being easier than ever. There is no excuse for falling for catfishes now. I guess it's still easy to fake on social media such as Facebook or Instagram as there's no required identity verification process. There's plenty of sophisticated local meeting apps outside of Tinder that do identity verification before letting you set up profiles. I've had friends use Bumble and Coffee Meets Bagel to find quality local people. There's tons of other similar apps.

I've shortly tried the online long distance dating thing, even on an international level. NOT WORTH IT. I ended up meeting my husband, who’s existence I didn’t know about ever beforehand, through family friends and he ended up living/growing up only 20 mins away from me with a crazy compatible similar background and upbringing as me. Some things are weird coincidences and occur in a manner you least expect it. Because I always swore all the local men around me were shit and I live in the 4th largest city in America. I always thought my prince charming was waiting for me in UK 😂

I just want you to be safe and not be unnecessarily fooled. You should consider using certain apps to meet more high quality locals for fun without the pressures of a relationship and let things happen if they're meant to happen ♥️

Posted by SassyKiwi

Awwww no not sweet Abby 🥺 If I could get the real guy's info and knew how to ddos, I'd do that for you!

Ever since I was very young and played in online multiplayer communities, I'd come across variety of characters that would use fake or real information. 12/13 year olds aren't the best at foolproof catfishing but video call wasn't common back then so it was probably easier overall. Fast forward a decade to the Tinder and social media era with video call being easier than ever. There is no excuse for falling for catfishes now. I guess it's still easy to fake on social media such as Facebook or Instagram as there's no required identity verification process. There's plenty of sophisticated local meeting apps outside of Tinder that do identity verification before letting you set up profiles. I've had friends use Bumble and Coffee Meets Bagel to find quality local people. There's tons of other similar apps.

I've shortly tried the online long distance dating thing, even on an international level. NOT WORTH IT. I ended up meeting my husband, who’s existence I didn’t know about ever beforehand, through family friends and he ended up living/growing up only 20 mins away from me with a crazy compatible similar background and upbringing as me. Some things are weird coincidences and occur in a manner you least expect it. Because I always swore all the local men around me were shit and I live in the 4th largest city in America. I always thought my prince charming was waiting for me in UK 😂

I just want you to be safe and not be unnecessarily fooled. You should consider using certain apps to meet more high quality locals for fun without the pressures of a relationship and let things happen if they're meant to happen ♥️

Thank you for this! It’s been a long time since my AIM and MMO days, so unfortunately, I’m a bit rusty when it comes to online stuff. Luckily I have friends who are great with it and help me find out info. I do keep a realistic, and yes slightly paranoid, mind about the whole online persona thing. I mean, just because I’m an open book now doesn’t mean I always was, but I never went so far as to try and steal someone else’s identity. Worst I had was a fake name I would use at raves and such.

I actually met my ex-fiancé randomly when I had moved back home. He had grown up with me, but a year behind me so I didn’t really remember him—but he remembered me! Our families knew each other, it was perfect…. And then I had to go and muck it up lol it is what it is, but I get it. People surprise us out of nowhere sometimes. I was just telling my neighbor to start putting herself in places where her ideal guy would be hanging out. I’ll have to take my own advice at some point. This was just a random who came across my DMs on IG. I’m only now using that account for social reasons and I’m slow to do so. Just really wary, and for good reason it seems! Really sucks to have to be so paranoid….

I left it at this and blocked/reported the accounts:

“You know you probably would have had better chances with me had you just been yourself. This is the third time you've tried to convince me that you are someone else and all I feel is pity for you. I hope one day you feel comfortable enough to be your self. Peace!”

Posted by AbbyNormal

Posted by SassyKiwi

Awwww no not sweet Abby 🥺 If I could get the real guy's info and knew how to ddos, I'd do that for you!

Ever since I was very young and played in online multiplayer communities, I'd come across variety of characters that would use fake or real information. 12/13 year olds aren't the best at foolproof catfishing but video call wasn't common back then so it was probably easier overall. Fast forward a decade to the Tinder and social media era with video call being easier than ever. There is no excuse for falling for catfishes now. I guess it's still easy to fake on social media such as Facebook or Instagram as there's no required identity verification process. There's plenty of sophisticated local meeting apps outside of Tinder that do identity verification before letting you set up profiles. I've had friends use Bumble and Coffee Meets Bagel to find quality local people. There's tons of other similar apps.

I've shortly tried the online long distance dating thing, even on an international level. NOT WORTH IT. I ended up meeting my husband, who’s existence I didn’t know about ever beforehand, through family friends and he ended up living/growing up only 20 mins away from me with a crazy compatible similar background and upbringing as me. Some things are weird coincidences and occur in a manner you least expect it. Because I always swore all the local men around me were shit and I live in the 4th largest city in America. I always thought my prince charming was waiting for me in UK 😂

I just want you to be safe and not be unnecessarily fooled. You should consider using certain apps to meet more high quality locals for fun without the pressures of a relationship and let things happen if they're meant to happen ♥️

Thank you for this! It’s been a long time since my AIM and MMO days, so unfortunately, I’m a bit rusty when it comes to online stuff. Luckily I have friends who are great with it and help me find out info. I do keep a realistic, and yes slightly paranoid, mind about the whole online persona thing. I mean, just because I’m an open book now doesn’t mean I always was, but I never went so far as to try and steal someone else’s identity. Worst I had was a fake name I would use at raves and such.

I actually met my ex-fiancé randomly when I had moved back home. He had grown up with me, but a year behind me so I didn’t really remember him—but he remembered me! Our families knew each other, it was perfect…. And then I had to go and muck it up lol it is what it is, but I get it. People surprise us out of nowhere sometimes. I was just telling my neighbor to start putting herself in places where her ideal guy would be hanging out. I’ll have to take my own advice at some point. This was just a random who came across my DMs on IG. I’m only now using that account for social reasons and I’m slow to do so. Just really wary, and for good reason it seems! Really sucks to have to be so paranoid….

click to expand

Is anyone else not getting notifications for people commenting or quoting your posts?

Ahhhh AIM, AOL, Yahoo Messenger, Skype... good fun times. You really don't have to wear yourself out that much in being paranoid when you can take advantage of today's technology and just selectively partake on meeting apps that require everyone to do identity verification before creating a profile! Btw there are huge liars in real life as well who hide huge chunks of their life easily. It's just part of the dark side of humanity which of course will spill into the digital world.

I might be a decade younger than you but already the generation younger than me is utilizing new generation apps like tiktok like wildfire and as much as I want to shun it I force myself to partake on it to keep up with the new generation cultures so that they can't fool me! You end up realizing there are also niches of our age people on there sharing more mature content outside of the silly teeny bopper dance trends. Now my new motto is to take advantage of any and all modern advances to make my life simpler! Let it be doing all the concerns and work for you!

Aww, what happened with the local ex-fiance? Definitely take your own advice and practice positive affirmations and manifestations!

Posted by SassyKiwi

Posted by AbbyNormal

Posted by SassyKiwi

Awwww no not sweet Abby 🥺 If I could get the real guy's info and knew how to ddos, I'd do that for you!

Ever since I was very young and played in online multiplayer communities, I'd come across variety of characters that would use fake or real information. 12/13 year olds aren't the best at foolproof catfishing but video call wasn't common back then so it was probably easier overall. Fast forward a decade to the Tinder and social media era with video call being easier than ever. There is no excuse for falling for catfishes now. I guess it's still easy to fake on social media such as Facebook or Instagram as there's no required identity verification process. There's plenty of sophisticated local meeting apps outside of Tinder that do identity verification before letting you set up profiles. I've had friends use Bumble and Coffee Meets Bagel to find quality local people. There's tons of other similar apps.

I've shortly tried the online long distance dating thing, even on an international level. NOT WORTH IT. I ended up meeting my husband, who’s existence I didn’t know about ever beforehand, through family friends and he ended up living/growing up only 20 mins away from me with a crazy compatible similar background and upbringing as me. Some things are weird coincidences and occur in a manner you least expect it. Because I always swore all the local men around me were shit and I live in the 4th largest city in America. I always thought my prince charming was waiting for me in UK 😂

I just want you to be safe and not be unnecessarily fooled. You should consider using certain apps to meet more high quality locals for fun without the pressures of a relationship and let things happen if they're meant to happen ♥️

Thank you for this! It’s been a long time since my AIM and MMO days, so unfortunately, I’m a bit rusty when it comes to online stuff. Luckily I have friends who are great with it and help me find out info. I do keep a realistic, and yes slightly paranoid, mind about the whole online persona thing. I mean, just because I’m an open book now doesn’t mean I always was, but I never went so far as to try and steal someone else’s identity. Worst I had was a fake name I would use at raves and such.

I actually met my ex-fiancé randomly when I had moved back home. He had grown up with me, but a year behind me so I didn’t really remember him—but he remembered me! Our families knew each other, it was perfect…. And then I had to go and muck it up lol it is what it is, but I get it. People surprise us out of nowhere sometimes. I was just telling my neighbor to start putting herself in places where her ideal guy would be hanging out. I’ll have to take my own advice at some point. This was just a random who came across my DMs on IG. I’m only now using that account for social reasons and I’m slow to do so. Just really wary, and for good reason it seems! Really sucks to have to be so paranoid….

Is anyone else not getting notifications for people commenting or quoting your posts?

Ahhhh AIM, AOL, Yahoo Messenger, Skype... good fun times. You really don't have to wear yourself out that much in being paranoid when you can take advantage of today's technology and just selectively partake on meeting apps that require everyone to do identity verification before creating a profile! Btw there are huge liars in real life as well who hide huge chunks of their life easily. It's just part of the dark side of humanity which of course will spill into the digital world.

I might be a decade younger than you but already the generation younger than me is utilizing new generation apps like tiktok like wildfire and as much as I want to shun it I force myself to partake on it to keep up with the new generation cultures so that they can't fool me! You end up realizing there are also niches of our age people on there sharing more mature content outside of the silly teeny bopper dance trends. Now my new motto is to take advantage of any and all modern advances to make my life simpler! Let it be doing all the concerns and work for you!

Aww, what happened with the local ex-fiance? Definitely take your own advice and practice positive affirmations and manifestations!

click to expand

It’s a long story but Arkansas isn’t the place for me, that’s for sure.

Posted by ATGR

Posted by AbbyNormal

Posted by goldenfish

How personal is the info? I actually even encourage sharing instagram - helps to see if they are hiding any details like wife/kids, weirdos/players in general.

So we met via IG and he’s supposedly in Syria in Special Forces. There are some pics but very few, they all look normal enough…. But they also look like it could be a catfish….. I’m just so paranoid these days. Are you who you say you are—?!!!! I did give him my deets and he’s texted me but I feel like they are messing with me, because I asked for a picture bc I’m paranoid admittedly. And he sent a couple…. With this, “These is Bryme (his name)” …… you’re trying to mess with me now!?

“Special forces” just sets alarm bells ringing for me. Anyone actually in special forces would probably not immediately mention it, they’d just say military. There have been lots of “romance scams” that have involved supposed SAS soldiers or Navy Seals. Sorry to sound negative!!

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yeah this

Most catfishing happens with soldier/military/firemen profiles

if he's a US special forces in syria, he's probably helping terrorists anyway

probably too early, 12th house problems

Posted by AbbyNormal

Posted by goldenfish

How personal is the info? I actually even encourage sharing instagram - helps to see if they are hiding any details like wife/kids, weirdos/players in general.

So we met via IG and he’s supposedly in Syria in Special Forces. There are some pics but very few, they all look normal enough…. But they also look like it could be a catfish….. I’m just so paranoid these days. Are you who you say you are—?!!!! I did give him my deets and he’s texted me but I feel like they are messing with me, because I asked for a picture bc I’m paranoid admittedly. And he sent a couple…. With this, “These is Bryme (his name)” …… you’re trying to mess with me now!?

click to expand

He has your IG (So he has pics of you) and your phone number, since you said he's texted you. What other details are you trying to give him?

He's a world away!

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by AbbyNormal

Posted by goldenfish

How personal is the info? I actually even encourage sharing instagram - helps to see if they are hiding any details like wife/kids, weirdos/players in general.

So we met via IG and he’s supposedly in Syria in Special Forces. There are some pics but very few, they all look normal enough…. But they also look like it could be a catfish….. I’m just so paranoid these days. Are you who you say you are—?!!!! I did give him my deets and he’s texted me but I feel like they are messing with me, because I asked for a picture bc I’m paranoid admittedly. And he sent a couple…. With this, “These is Bryme (his name)” …… you’re trying to mess with me now!?

He has your IG (So he has pics of you) and your phone number, since you said he's texted you. What other details are you trying to give him?

He's a world away!

click to expand

I was just meaning contact info. I don’t give it out often, obviously lol

Posted by AbbyNormal

So I’ve been out of the internet dating game—well, the dating game altogether, but I was wondering:



When do you share your personal information with someone you’re interested in? How early on? And how can you ever be sure they are phishing?! I’m so paranoid lol

If you have to wait too long, they're probably not the right person for you.