@indiwoman
9 Years
wtf is my problem
Understanding Your Dating Anxiety and Readiness
Feeling anxious about dating despite wanting connection is common. It may indicate a need for more self-reflection or personal space before engaging in new relationships. Taking time to understand your feelings can help you feel more confident and prepared when you're ready to meet others.
Posted by indiwoman
So...I find myself wanting to go out there and try to meet people and maybe date.
But at the same time when someone asks me out I either say no, or if I say yes I get super stressed out about it and I want to back out.
Does this mean I need more time to myself and I am not ready to date?
Or am I just a complicated fuck....
Do you think you not worthy someone liking you?
Posted by indiwoman
So...I find myself wanting to go out there and try to meet people and maybe date.
But at the same time when someone asks me out I either say no, or if I say yes I get super stressed out about it and I want to back out.
Does this mean I need more time to myself and I am not ready to date?
Or am I just a complicated fuck....
Do you think you not worthy someone liking you?
click to expand
Not necessarily ..
I mean are there some things I would like to improve about myself - yes
Timing
Not the right time at the moment. You need to do more work around letting something go from your past as it is blocking you
Are you attracted to or feel any chemistry with the person you accept the date with?
Posted by indiwoman
So...I find myself wanting to go out there and try to meet people and maybe date.
But at the same time when someone asks me out I either say no, or if I say yes I get super stressed out about it and I want to back out.
Does this mean I need more time to myself and I am not ready to date?
Or am I just a complicated fuck....
Stressed out?! This isn't a job interview. You should have more self confidence in yourself. Guys like women to giggle, laugh, look the other way, etc. when at a date (they think this is cute!); because they gauge the giggle to the woman's personality and if she will laugh at his jokes. Just remember, the guy is just as "nervous" as you are. Before you go out on a date, look at yourself in the mirror and say, "I can do this! I am going to be optimistic! It's NOT a job interview. I am going to have fun!" then head out the door. IF, if you're that nervous ask the guy to come pick you up. You may not get as nervous if you have to drive to the location for your date.
I, myself, AM optimistic and assertive! I have a date for Saturday and I asked the guy to come pick me up at my home. Am I nervous? No. I DO gotta clean up a bit before he arrives, as a man doesn't make it as far as the front door of my home when he picks me up (sorry, I am OLD FASHIONED); as chivaltry is NOT dead in my eyes. What do I mean by this? Well, when the guy picks me up I will say, "Hi!" give him a HUG so as to break the ice, smile, and then say, "Are you ready?" At this time he's thinking to himself, "Man! What a babe!" 😉 as his first impression is of you when he sees you. I mean, I've been told by a guy, "You look better in person than in pictures".
Okay, THEN, I walk to his vehicle and I stop at the door and if he didn't open the door for me I will say, "Uh, can you be a gentleman and open the door for me, please?". He will say, "Sorry, I forgot!". THIS is what YOU teach the guy while at your first date. Just be yourself and remember, "It's NOT a job interview".
🤗 cyber hugs!
Love,
Eva
PS: I told my date, "I would like to leave at 1:00 pm on Saturday". Always make plans, be assertive, and make sure you ask for what you want in your date. If he asks, "What would you like to eat?" You can say, "Food!". If they ask, "Yeah, but where?" Answer, "Surprise me".
Good luck!
Posted by indiwoman
So...I find myself wanting to go out there and try to meet people and maybe date.
But at the same time when someone asks me out I either say no, or if I say yes I get super stressed out about it and I want to back out.
Does this mean I need more time to myself and I am not ready to date?
Or am I just a complicated fuck....
Stressed out?! This isn't a job interview. You should have more self confidence in yourself. Guys like women to giggle, laugh, look the other way, etc. when at a date (they think this is cute!); because they gauge the giggle to the woman's personality and if she will laugh at his jokes. Just remember, the guy is just as "nervous" as you are. Before you go out on a date, look at yourself in the mirror and say, "I can do this! I am going to be optimistic! It's NOT a job interview. I am going to have fun!" then head out the door. IF, if you're that nervous ask the guy to come pick you up. You may not get as nervous if you have to drive to the location for your date.
I, myself, AM optimistic and assertive! I have a date for Saturday and I asked the guy to come pick me up at my home. Am I nervous? No. I DO gotta clean up a bit before he arrives, as a man doesn't make it as far as the front door of my home when he picks me up (sorry, I am OLD FASHIONED); as chivaltry is NOT dead in my eyes. What do I mean by this? Well, when the guy picks me up I will say, "Hi!" give him a HUG so as to break the ice, smile, and then say, "Are you ready?" At this time he's thinking to himself, "Man! What a babe!" 😉 as his first impression is of you when he sees you. I mean, I've been told by a guy, "You look better in person than in pictures".
Okay, THEN, I walk to his vehicle and I stop at the door and if he didn't open the door for me I will say, "Uh, can you be a gentleman and open the door for me, please?". He will say, "Sorry, I forgot!". THIS is what YOU teach the guy while at your first date. Just be yourself and remember, "It's NOT a job interview".
🤗 cyber hugs!
Love,
Eva
PS: I told my date, "I would like to leave at 1:00 pm on Saturday". Always make plans, be assertive, and make sure you ask for what you want in your date. If he asks, "What would you like to eat?" You can say, "Food!". If they ask, "Yeah, but where?" Answer, "Surprise me".
Good luck!
click to expand
Thanks but I am not nervous to go on the date. I am not nervous around this guy. We laugh and joke and what not.
I guess I over think things and stress about it. Something I am working on
Posted by MyStarsShine
TimingNot the right time at the moment. You need to do more work around letting something go from your past as it is blocking you
This, I feel, is pretty accurate...
But I feel bad saying yes then cancelling?
Posted by Walkergrl
Are you attracted to or feel any chemistry with the person you accept the date with?
Attracted- yes
Chemistry- not yet but good communication so far
Posted by MyStarsShine
TimingNot the right time at the moment. You need to do more work around letting something go from your past as it is blocking you
This, I feel, is pretty accurate...
But I feel bad saying yes then cancelling?
click to expand
Best not to say yes if you are not sure
🙂
Posted by MyStarsShine
TimingNot the right time at the moment. You need to do more work around letting something go from your past as it is blocking you
This, I feel, is pretty accurate...
But I feel bad saying yes then cancelling?
Best not to say yes if you are not sure
🙂
click to expand
That is true, I have had some interest in him..
Then when he finally asks and I say yes, I go home and think about it and now Im unsure and stressing lol
I've been feeling the same way sometimes when I go on dates. I might find them attractive and maybe feel a connection, but I question myself if the connection is real or do I still need to enjoy my single life a little more before settling down and devoting myself to another man all over again.
If the connection was really real then I wouldn't question. Or could be my mind playing tricks or trying to tell me something, so I end up backing out after the first date. Unless there was something about them I didn't like then different story. Sigh. Life.
Posted by MyStarsShine
TimingNot the right time at the moment. You need to do more work around letting something go from your past as it is blocking you
This, I feel, is pretty accurate...
But I feel bad saying yes then cancelling?
Best not to say yes if you are not sure
🙂
That is true, I have had some interest in him..
Then when he finally asks and I say yes, I go home and think about it and now Im unsure and stressing lol
click to expand
Work around the fear first
Posted by MyStarsShine
TimingNot the right time at the moment. You need to do more work around letting something go from your past as it is blocking you
Or she could be picky
click to expand
I sense it's more than that
Posted by MyStarsShine
TimingNot the right time at the moment. You need to do more work around letting something go from your past as it is blocking you
Or she could be picky
I sense it's more than that
lol you're right tho sunshine but add picky to the equation = single
click to expand
We are all deserving of being picky
Posted by indiwoman
So...I find myself wanting to go out there and try to meet people and maybe date.
But at the same time when someone asks me out I either say no, or if I say yes I get super stressed out about it and I want to back out.
Does this mean I need more time to myself and I am not ready to date?
Or am I just a complicated fuck....
Stressed out?! This isn't a job interview. You should have more self confidence in yourself. Guys like women to giggle, laugh, look the other way, etc. when at a date (they think this is cute!); because they gauge the giggle to the woman's personality and if she will laugh at his jokes. Just remember, the guy is just as "nervous" as you are. Before you go out on a date, look at yourself in the mirror and say, "I can do this! I am going to be optimistic! It's NOT a job interview. I am going to have fun!" then head out the door. IF, if you're that nervous ask the guy to come pick you up. You may not get as nervous if you have to drive to the location for your date.
I, myself, AM optimistic and assertive! I have a date for Saturday and I asked the guy to come pick me up at my home. Am I nervous? No. I DO gotta clean up a bit before he arrives, as a man doesn't make it as far as the front door of my home when he picks me up (sorry, I am OLD FASHIONED); as chivaltry is NOT dead in my eyes. What do I mean by this? Well, when the guy picks me up I will say, "Hi!" give him a HUG so as to break the ice, smile, and then say, "Are you ready?" At this time he's thinking to himself, "Man! What a babe!" 😉 as his first impression is of you when he sees you. I mean, I've been told by a guy, "You look better in person than in pictures".
Okay, THEN, I walk to his vehicle and I stop at the door and if he didn't open the door for me I will say, "Uh, can you be a gentleman and open the door for me, please?". He will say, "Sorry, I forgot!". THIS is what YOU teach the guy while at your first date. Just be yourself and remember, "It's NOT a job interview".
🤗 cyber hugs!
Love,
Eva
PS: I told my date, "I would like to leave at 1:00 pm on Saturday". Always make plans, be assertive, and make sure you ask for what you want in your date. If he asks, "What would you like to eat?" You can say, "Food!". If they ask, "Yeah, but where?" Answer, "Surprise me".
Good luck!
Thanks but I am not nervous to go on the date. I am not nervous around this guy. We laugh and joke and what not.
I guess I over think things and stress about it. Something I am working on
click to expand
Then you will do fine as you're 1/2 way there!
🤗 cyber hugs!
Love,
Eva
PS: You DID say you sometimes think of "backing off" (Eva shrugs her shoulders)
Posted by MyStarsShine
TimingNot the right time at the moment. You need to do more work around letting something go from your past as it is blocking you
This, I feel, is pretty accurate...
But I feel bad saying yes then cancelling?
Best not to say yes if you are not sure
🙂
That is true, I have had some interest in him..
Then when he finally asks and I say yes, I go home and think about it and now Im unsure and stressing lol
click to expand
At this point, you have nothing to lose. So why not just look at it like having a fun night out where otherwise you'd be at home possibly overthinking everything... js
Posted by SugarandSpunk
I've been feeling the same way sometimes when I go on dates. I might find them attractive and maybe feel a connection, but I question myself if the connection is real or do I still need to enjoy my single life a little more before settling down and devoting myself to another man all over again.If the connection was really real then I wouldn't question. Or could be my mind playing tricks or trying to tell me something, so I end up backing out after the first date. Unless there was something about them I didn't like then different story. Sigh. Life.
Intuition. Always follow that. ^^^
Posted by MyStarsShine
TimingNot the right time at the moment. You need to do more work around letting something go from your past as it is blocking you
Or she could be picky
I sense it's more than that
lol you're right tho sunshine but add picky to the equation = single
We are all deserving of being picky
Off course lol I'm picky as hell myself so there's nothing wrong with it ?
click to expand
I have become picky because I dont wanna end up with anyone like my ex's haha
Posted by MyStarsShine
TimingNot the right time at the moment. You need to do more work around letting something go from your past as it is blocking you
Or she could be picky
I sense it's more than that
lol you're right tho sunshine but add picky to the equation = single
We are all deserving of being picky
Off course lol I'm picky as hell myself so there's nothing wrong with it ?
I have become picky because I dont wanna end up with anyone like my ex's haha
click to expand
Have you severed all ties with him....emotionally and physically?
I was the same not so long ago and it was because I was afraid.
Wasn't sure what to expect and also I started worrying about what I had to offer.
After a little while I realized I was working my self up for nothing.
Just go for it, its just a date. What is the worst that can happen?
1. You go out on a date and you don't like the person; or
2. You go out on a date and you do like the person.
Go in with ZERO expectations and everything will be fine.
then go from there 🙂
Im sure the first few dates will be learning experiences and also calm you down.
Posted by SugarandSpunk
I've been feeling the same way sometimes when I go on dates. I might find them attractive and maybe feel a connection, but I question myself if the connection is real or do I still need to enjoy my single life a little more before settling down and devoting myself to another man all over again.If the connection was really real then I wouldn't question. Or could be my mind playing tricks or trying to tell me something, so I end up backing out after the first date. Unless there was something about them I didn't like then different story. Sigh. Life.
Could not of said it better!
I am so hesitant and convince myself as to why I should back out.
Posted by MyStarsShine
TimingNot the right time at the moment. You need to do more work around letting something go from your past as it is blocking you
Or she could be picky
I sense it's more than that
lol you're right tho sunshine but add picky to the equation = single
We are all deserving of being picky
Off course lol I'm picky as hell myself so there's nothing wrong with it ?
I have become picky because I dont wanna end up with anyone like my ex's haha
Have you severed all ties with him....emotionally and physically?
click to expand
Not necessarily an ex..but someone I am close friends with that I have deep feelings for who is "Unsure" and "scared of a relationship"
So its hard to let go when.. you know they want it but are to scared to try (so he claims) (also a crab)
Part of me is also afraid he will come around once I start to date or like someone else...
Posted by MyStarsShine
TimingNot the right time at the moment. You need to do more work around letting something go from your past as it is blocking you
Or she could be picky
I sense it's more than that
lol you're right tho sunshine but add picky to the equation = single
We are all deserving of being picky
Off course lol I'm picky as hell myself so there's nothing wrong with it ?
I have become picky because I dont wanna end up with anyone like my ex's haha
Have you severed all ties with him....emotionally and physically?
Not necessarily an ex..but someone I am close friends with that I have deep feelings for who is "Unsure" and "scared of a relationship"
So its hard to let go when.. you know they want it but are to scared to try (so he claims) (also a crab)
Part of me is also afraid he will come around once I start to date or like someone else...
click to expand
Oh right
That could be an issue with becoming involved with someone else...
Posted by MyStarsShine
TimingNot the right time at the moment. You need to do more work around letting something go from your past as it is blocking you
Or she could be picky
I sense it's more than that
lol you're right tho sunshine but add picky to the equation = single
We are all deserving of being picky
Off course lol I'm picky as hell myself so there's nothing wrong with it ?
I have become picky because I dont wanna end up with anyone like my ex's haha
Have you severed all ties with him....emotionally and physically?
Not necessarily an ex..but someone I am close friends with that I have deep feelings for who is "Unsure" and "scared of a relationship"
So its hard to let go when.. you know they want it but are to scared to try (so he claims) (also a crab)
Part of me is also afraid he will come around once I start to date or like someone else...
Oh right
That could be an issue with becoming involved with someone else...
click to expand
Yeah I think that is majority of my problem
Posted by SugarandSpunk
I've been feeling the same way sometimes when I go on dates. I might find them attractive and maybe feel a connection, but I question myself if the connection is real or do I still need to enjoy my single life a little more before settling down and devoting myself to another man all over again.If the connection was really real then I wouldn't question. Or could be my mind playing tricks or trying to tell me something, so I end up backing out after the first date. Unless there was something about them I didn't like then different story. Sigh. Life.
Intuition. Always follow that. ^^^
click to expand
Yeah, you right 🙂
Posted by SugarandSpunk
I've been feeling the same way sometimes when I go on dates. I might find them attractive and maybe feel a connection, but I question myself if the connection is real or do I still need to enjoy my single life a little more before settling down and devoting myself to another man all over again.If the connection was really real then I wouldn't question. Or could be my mind playing tricks or trying to tell me something, so I end up backing out after the first date. Unless there was something about them I didn't like then different story. Sigh. Life.
Could not of said it better!
I am so hesitant and convince myself as to why I should back out.
click to expand
Mmhmm. I hope things get better for you 🙂 Hugs!
Posted by SugarandSpunk
I've been feeling the same way sometimes when I go on dates. I might find them attractive and maybe feel a connection, but I question myself if the connection is real or do I still need to enjoy my single life a little more before settling down and devoting myself to another man all over again.If the connection was really real then I wouldn't question. Or could be my mind playing tricks or trying to tell me something, so I end up backing out after the first date. Unless there was something about them I didn't like then different story. Sigh. Life.
Could not of said it better!
I am so hesitant and convince myself as to why I should back out.
Mmhmm. I hope things get better for you 🙂 Hugs!
click to expand
Thank you 🙂 Same for you
I don't know what your problem is maybe you need a professional
Posted by The_eleventh_sign_11
I don't know what your problem is maybe you need a professional
Her problem is something inner and no she doesn't need a professional
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So...
I find myself wanting to go out there and try to meet people and maybe date.
But at the same time when someone asks me out I either say no, or if I say yes I get super stressed out about it and I want to back out.
Does this mean I need more time to myself and I am not ready to date?
Or am I just a complicated fuck....