Saggittarus is starting to scare me (Page 2)

Posted by tiki33
You going to the club has nothing to do with him....I see you have already modified your behavior for him and that's a huge NO NO, don't do anything to keep a man happy and feeling secure, he should be happy and secure within himself with or without a woman in his life. If you cheated on him in the past and if that's part of the reason he's acting like an abusive creep well that's HIS PROBLEM, he took you back and if he took back after a few bad past events then he should be responsible enough to trust that you won't do that again or why else would he take you back? You jumping through hoops to prove your love will only lead you into a very abusive controlling situation with a man, were he's controlling every move you make, your entitled to live a little even with a child but what you don't want to happen is you modifying your life style so someone else will feel secure and comfortable, if that's what your doing then stop it b/c it'll only serve to give the other person power and control over you and that can only lead you into emotional slavery with a man which inevitably leads to abuse.

But yes I agree with Caligula that you have to get some adult education to help you understand how you think is a bit toxic and will attract bad men, wanting someone to be obsessed with you will only get your ass whooped or killed.

BULLSHIT!

if someone cheats on you, betrays your trust, if both of you choose to continue the relationship, the cheater OWES it to their SO to do what it takes to regain that trust.

this asshole she's dating asked the bitch to stay home and read a damn book. wtf is she clubbin every damn weekend at 32 WITH a man and WITH a toddler?

i'm not saying that she can't go out on occasion but CLEARLY, she "socializes" in excess.

you're also not going to tell me that if a man cheats, you agree to take him back and he then continues hanging out with his friends, going to the club, doing the same damn shit that he was doing prior to his cheating that that's ok.

it's not about changing for a man. it's about common damn sense and respect...of which she has none.

his abusive behavior aside, how much you wanna bet she still has the taurus on speed dial and if he asked her over tonight, she'd be at his door in spidey speed with vicky's on?

It's bullshit to you but not to me...

When he decided to take her back after her cheating well that's on him, she's not responsible for making him feel secure, he's responsible for himself and his own feelings, if he takes her back only to feel insecure and mistrustful then leave, don't expect her to jump through a thousand and one hoops to make him feel secure. I see your point and I actually don't totally out right disagree with you, she is her own person. If they were married I would be okay with my husband needing me to alter my behavior because most likely we would be on the same page anyway if we both concluded that we wanted our marriage to work but for a boyfriend, hell no.

Her socializing has nothing to do with him, her age has little to do with how much she socializes, take her as she is or get the fuck on, it's her life and until he put a ring on it he can very well keep it to himself or find a woman that sits at home and plays house with baby every damn day of the week.

It's not his job to run her life, it's not his responsibility to make her read a book instead of going out, if he don't like her life style then he should leave not sit up and control and dictate what she should and shouldn't be doing and it's not his responsibility to punish her, that is not love, now if that's what she wants from him then that's between the 2 of them and something she'll have to sort out on her own, if she's triggering, encouraging and enabling his abusive behavior then she'll have to figure out why all on her own, seems they both get triggered and play off of one another's insecurities, they both appear to have some self esteem problems and the union is based off of insecurities masked as love.

Posted by everevolvingepithet
"people that want to know this guys chart WTF———??
This is when astrology is taken to serious Really!!!!!!!!!!
What does it matter what his chart is?
Does this make his behaviour excusable?
First and foremost he is a human being(apparently) and i would not accept this behaviour from anyone regardless of their chart."
+1

i like to know which aspects to look out for...

Ike and Tina....phew

Alright, I have to say my piece as a Sag/Scorp 11/23 birthday, and merc in scorpio. We are naturally suspicious. We think things that no one else would even consider. We are natural detectives. I, as a female, am not dominant like a Sag male would be. I think he is insecure and needs reassurance from you. True, you should be able to go out whenever you want. But he is looking to settle down. So you two may be at different stages in your lives.

Posted by QuietSt0rm
^ I agree, but I would not be the least bit surprised if he has a scorpio moon. Just saying, LOL.

I seem to attract men with scorpio moon... a taurus with scorp moon, a cancer, and my capricorn ex had a scorp moon. All of those bastards were loonie tunes. Especially the cancer. smh Threatened to throw me down a flight of stairs. BITCH PLEASE! Never even gave him the opportunity.

OMG THEY ARE!!

LOL

LMAO@BITCH PLEASE!

Posted by QuietSt0rm

Posted by everevolvingepithet
So you like arguing with your man I'm guessing lol 🙂

nooooo... all that libra in my chart? LOL I need peace and quiet. But the scorpio moons I dated knew how to provoke me, and yes, they each brought the worst out of me but I don't like that in my relationships, which is why I'm not with them anymore.

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Same here! They need to calm down

Posted by tiki33
It's not his job to run her life, it's not his responsibility to make her read a book instead of going out, if he don't like her life style then he should leave not sit up and control and dictate what she should and shouldn't be doing and it's not his responsibility to punish her, that is not love, now if that's what she wants from him then that's between the 2 of them and something she'll have to sort out on her own, if she's triggering, encouraging and enabling his abusive behavior then she'll have to figure out why all on her own, seems they both get triggered and play off of one another's insecurities, they both appear to have some self esteem problems and the union is based off of insecurities masked as love.

at the end of the day, when you're in a relationship, you do not operate as a single person.

at the end of the same day, when you're a mother, you do not operate as a single person.

this whole idea of not changing for a partner is horseshit. NO ONE is whole when they enter a relationship and if you operate as if you need no one, that you don't have to consider others feelings, why are you pursuing partnership in the first place?

with this attitude, is it any wonder the rate of marriage and single parent families are high amongst african-american women?

this bastard aside, SHE is a piece of work.

@QS that's crazy about your sis I know that you hate to sit back and watch that relationship, thanks for your input and yes I do think scorpio moons can get crazy my mom has that placement and if she even thinks my father is doing something she will go bonkers but this sagg he has a pisces moon.

This is not about me going out all the time if you read the other post I said since May I have cut my going out to almost none so with him like others have said he is just insecure and I think his scorp in mercury contributes to this thoughts and word that he uses.

All this input is good and I am learning so much about abusive relationships and how they start and what signs to look for, I have no update for anyone but we haven't spoken since that nice but we have text each other.

For a boyfriend nope won't modify my social life...He don't like how I live don't be with me.

totally agree with "this bastard aside, SHE is a piece of work."

I have been in those type of relationships before, and never take shit like that lightly. You better start planning on a relocation plan, and informing your family closest to you what was said. That shit can go either way. Don't give him the benefit of the doubt, especially if he made the first stalker move and admitted it. Don't let him know your plans of escape, just watch and observe that mofo. I personally would test to see where your psyche is face to face after some shit like that. I've personally endured my fare of abuse from men to the point of damn near death. It has and forever changed me. I don't like violence, but you threaten me and you will become my prey. I will be one step ahead of you to protect myself. Think its a joke. Try being strangled damn near to death and screaming my Kids. I'm a spiritually, good hearted person that will bend over backwards for someone. Realistically, those situations have made me become the type of person about kill or be killed by any means necessary. Not trying to sound programmed.

My mistake i meant to say test his psyche. It doesn't matter what his sign is.

Being chocked is one of the minor things that has happened.

Posted by tiki33
For a boyfriend nope won't modify my social life...He don't like how I live don't be with me.

totally agree with "this bastard aside, SHE is a piece of work."

that's probably because you have sense enough to know that clubbin' every weekend when you have a man and a child is not "normal" or acceptable.

you're also probably not the type of woman who carries on with an ex while dating with someone else.

a change in behavior as a result of a union may/may not be necessary but to make a blanket statement that "change" should not be made is false.

ie, if you drink heavily, if your SO/spouse asks you to curb your drinking, if you stubbornly refuse because "i was drinking like a fish before you came along," doesn't make the SO/spouse a controlling asshole. sometimes, change is for the better...for better of self and/or the relationship.

My blanket statement is how I feel, I won't change for a boyfriend, I'll change for me but not for him b/c he want me too NO...If I go out clubbing every weekend (which I don't by the way) but if I did it's my prerogative and if he doesn't like how I live my life then he can leave. I don't treat boyfriends like husbands, I don't skew the 2 because IMO they are totally different, this is me, how I think and feel, I don't expect you (Caligula) nor Scorpdiva to agree but I've made the mistake of altering who I am, my life for a man that wasn't even my husband, bad idea...If it's something about my behavior he doesn't like then he can hit the door or adjust. I have been with men that have the exact same attitude, I either take him as he is or leave him alone, that was very hard b/c I knew if XYZ changed the relationship would be so much better but that's not realistic, I've had prior boyfriends modify there behavior only to add more stress to the relationship b/c he wasn't happy not being able to be himself, IMO it's a no win situation, it's only a win win situation when both people agree to modify certain behavior and attitude for the both of us to benefit from it....For my husband and child of course I'll modify my behavior because I'm 100% invested, I can't say I'm that way with a boyfriend. If the change is for the better I'm the one that has determine what better is and if it applies to me and my happiness.

She's altered her behavior per my understanding from what Scorpdiva has told us, he's still being an controlling insecure person, that's no good IMO. If she's changing and he's still nit picking her behavior then there is something wrong with the dude, of course I'm not saying scorpdiva is without fault in all of this b/c she's chosen to remain in the relationship despite the glaring red flags that she should shift away from this guy.

"ie, if you drink heavily, if your SO/spouse asks you to curb your drinking, if you stubbornly refuse because "i was drinking like a fish before you came along," doesn't make the SO/spouse a controlling asshole. sometimes, change is for the better...for better of self and/or the relationship."

If I was drinking like a fish and he intervened and showed me how drinking was impacting my life and my health and the consequence of me not drinking is that I lose him along with everything and everyone else because they are no longer going to enable me only then would I consider changing but that's my choice to choose not his, changing to preserve a relationship hardly ever works when someone has to stop doing it to make the OTHER person/other people happy or to preserve/save relationships. Crackheads don't stop smoking crack because someone ask them too, there has to be consequences set in place for that person to modify his/her attitude and behavior towards drugs and/or alcohol and even then that might not be enough to make a person change....

I could see if the dude said Scorpdiva I'm leaving you because we have nothing in common and it's clear we want different things in life, the subject of you going out continues to creep in and it's just not fun anymore, our life style s are too opposing and I'm not happy nor comfortable with this relationship, if he had said that or something along the lines of that and left I would respect dude more but resorting to open ended statements about being abusive and yanking a woman by her hair and pulling her out of the club as a consequence is a NO NO IMO, that's just not something secure emotionally balanced men say and do, men that are secure healthy minded LEAVE before resorting to verbal abuse/physical violence against a woman.

Posted by everevolvingepithet

Posted by DMV

Posted by everevolvingepithet
"people that want to know this guys chart WTF———??
This is when astrology is taken to serious Really!!!!!!!!!!
What does it matter what his chart is?
Does this make his behaviour excusable?
First and foremost he is a human being(apparently) and i would not accept this behaviour from anyone regardless of their chart."
+1

i like to know which aspects to look out for...

lol this has nothing to do with aspects and everything to do with diva being a bit dumb.
I second what tiki put.

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i disagree, certain aspects lead to certain behaviors

Posted by Sagittarius89

Posted by QuietSt0rm
^ I agree, but I would not be the least bit surprised if he has a scorpio moon. Just saying, LOL.

I seem to attract men with scorpio moon... a taurus with scorp moon, a cancer, and my capricorn ex had a scorp moon. All of those bastards were loonie tunes. Especially the cancer. smh Threatened to throw me down a flight of stairs. BITCH PLEASE! Never even gave him the opportunity.

OMG THEY ARE!!

click to expand

aww were not that bad...just stay in your lane

Posted by justmeh

Posted by QuietSt0rm
^ I agree, but I would not be the least bit surprised if he has a scorpio moon. Just saying, LOL.

I seem to attract men with scorpio moon... a taurus with scorp moon, a cancer, and my capricorn ex had a scorp moon. All of those bastards were loonie tunes. Especially the cancer. smh Threatened to throw me down a flight of stairs. BITCH PLEASE! Never even gave him the opportunity.

LMAO i just checked out my chart and apparently i have scorpio moon.
Seems like my partner better sleep with one eye open from now on lol

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hehe

what elle is saying hit me yesterday....

i still believe jealousy is a person problem and if i make you jealous and you do certain things..thats all on you.

but i subconsciously do things to incite a reaction out of someone.

Posted by tiki33
My blanket statement is how I feel, I won't change for a boyfriend, I'll change for me but not for him b/c he want me too NO...If I go out clubbing every weekend (which I don't by the way) but if I did it's my prerogative and if he doesn't like how I live my life then he can leave. I don't treat boyfriends like husbands, I don't skew the 2 because IMO they are totally different, this is me, how I think and feel, I don't expect you (Caligula) nor Scorpdiva to agree but I've made the mistake of altering who I am, my life for a man that wasn't even my husband, bad idea...If it's something about my behavior he doesn't like then he can hit the door or adjust. I have been with men that have the exact same attitude, I either take him as he is or leave him alone, that was very hard b/c I knew if XYZ changed the relationship would be so much better but that's not realistic, I've had prior boyfriends modify there behavior only to add more stress to the relationship b/c he wasn't happy not being able to be himself, IMO it's a no win situation, it's only a win win situation when both people agree to modify certain behavior and attitude for the both of us to benefit from it....For my husband and child of course I'll modify my behavior because I'm 100% invested, I can't say I'm that way with a boyfriend. If the change is for the better I'm the one that has determine what better is and if it applies to me and my happiness.

She's altered her behavior per my understanding from what Scorpdiva has told us, he's still being an controlling insecure person, that's no good IMO. If she's changing and he's still nit picking her behavior then there is something wrong with the dude, of course I'm not saying scorpdiva is without fault in all of this b/c she's chosen to remain in the relationship despite the glaring red flags that she should shift away from this guy.

Agree 100% about not changing for a guy. Change is good for yourself where it is deemed fit for you because you want too and priorities such as where your children our concerned. All true for me except my thing is husbands ( i say that cuz i have a different take and view on the subject, and could care less about the title) maybe, boyfriends forget about it.

Posted by everevolvingepithet

Posted by DMV
what elle is saying hit me yesterday....

i still believe jealousy is a person problem and if i make you jealous and you do certain things..thats all on you.

but i subconsciously do things to incite a reaction out of someone.

Then jealousy in turn is a problem that lies in you also ?

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no...more so envy

It's clear she's provoking and it's clear he's too stubborn to walk away and instead chooses to use verbal threats to keep her in line, inevitably the lines will blur and be crossed, she'll get her ass beat and then she can tell us how turned on she was over it, I doubt she'll be turned on but she would, one never can really know.

Posted by everevolvingepithet

Posted by DMV

Posted by everevolvingepithet

Posted by DMV

Posted by everevolvingepithet
"people that want to know this guys chart WTF———??
This is when astrology is taken to serious Really!!!!!!!!!!
What does it matter what his chart is?
Does this make his behaviour excusable?
First and foremost he is a human being(apparently) and i would not accept this behaviour from anyone regardless of their chart."
+1

i like to know which aspects to look out for...

lol this has nothing to do with aspects and everything to do with diva being a bit dumb.
I second what tiki put.

i disagree, certain aspects lead to certain behaviors

I don't think they are fully conducive to explaining violent behaviour in people though.

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think about if we could? we wouldnt treat illness with drugs...wed be treating the placement itself.

meant to say...but maybe she would be turned on

@QT,

you do provoke, its just that you may be unaware of it.

Posted by everevolvingepithet

Posted by DMV
@QT,

you do provoke, its just that you may be unaware of it.

DMV, stop provoking !
🙂

(somewhat serious and not, kwim ?)

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some people are just unaware.

Posted by everevolvingepithet

Posted by DMV

Posted by everevolvingepithet

Posted by DMV
what elle is saying hit me yesterday....

i still believe jealousy is a person problem and if i make you jealous and you do certain things..thats all on you.

but i subconsciously do things to incite a reaction out of someone.

Then jealousy in turn is a problem that lies in you also ?

no...more so envy

Two sides of the same coin, and one term is seem as more acceptable than the other (the word 'envy' still has some mileage heh) 🙂

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people say that their jealous, when theyre actually feeling envious.

even silence can be a form of provoking someone. doesnt always have to be obvious verbal or physical.

you may not think that your provoking someone because you go silent, but the other person may perceive your silence as a form of provoking them to react.

Posted by QuietSt0rm

Posted by DMV

Posted by Sagittarius89

Posted by QuietSt0rm
^ I agree, but I would not be the least bit surprised if he has a scorpio moon. Just saying, LOL.

I seem to attract men with scorpio moon... a taurus with scorp moon, a cancer, and my capricorn ex had a scorp moon. All of those bastards were loonie tunes. Especially the cancer. smh Threatened to throw me down a flight of stairs. BITCH PLEASE! Never even gave him the opportunity.

OMG THEY ARE!!

aww were not that bad...just stay in your lane

no, it's the opposite. y'all don't know how to stay in your lane, always trying to provoke somebody.

click to expand

you should know 😉, scorpio suns are good at provoking responses or reactions out of people.

Posted by everevolvingepithet

Posted by DMV
even silence can be a form of provoking someone. doesnt always have to be obvious verbal or physical.

you may not think that your provoking someone because you go silent, but the other person may perceive your silence as a form of provoking them to react.

I agree with this but at the same time if you notice this and ignore it hasn't worked imo.

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yeah, same can be said for verbal and physical ways of provoking a situation.

Posted by ellybd

Posted by DMV
even silence can be a form of provoking someone. doesnt always have to be obvious verbal or physical.

you may not think that your provoking someone because you go silent, but the other person may perceive your silence as a form of provoking them to react.

I suppose so. But my intent was never to provoke. I go silent to deal with my emotions when they get insane. When they get really heavy I get lost and need to regroup alone. Otherwise I honestly do not know how I feel about a said situation.

In that situation silence never provoked him anyways. He knew something was up but he chose to ignore it. Which I didn't mind since I wanted to have some space at the time.

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yeah im the same way. i hideout to get my thoughts together. ive learned from the guys i go silent on, that they felt like my silence was irritating and it caused them to take action. so i try to see things from the other side, whenever i feel a silent treatment coming on.

Posted by ellybd
Also I agree with the woman get away with more than men thing. You wouldn't believe the amount of women we have to deal with at work that are abusive in some sort to their husbands, children ect. Read a study somewhere once that showed the societal structures and theme's that contributed to it. Can't remember the details though.

Where I work men and woman alike get treated the same in that regard. Abuse is abuse, whether it's from a woman or man. You see it mostly with those who come in for detox/rehab though. A few mood disorders carry abuser traits sometimes, but personally I've never seen a case where that didn't pertain to them being abused in some way as a child. You'd be in awe at how prevalent unhealthy abuse patterns are for some people because they seriously believe it's completely normal since they were raised in it.

i would love to read that study. your right, abuse is nothing out of the ordinary when its common and passed down from generation to generation.