sometimes i feel like a blow up doll

you ever felt that way about sex with someone else. like u were there for their enjoyment? afterwards you feel used, abused, and can hardly look at your partner after what they did to you?

i guess were all so used to doom and gloom on dxp, but i just meant this as like "wow" first time in my life ive felt like during sex, my body was not my own. it was just a different kind of feeling.

afterwards i could barely look at him. i was more embarrassed for my own actions and what i allowed him to do to me. its not that he's selfish, its actually quite the opposite. he is one of those guys who get off on their partners pleasure.

@RTN, nope, not a love yourself kinda meeting. more like how do i get back some control in the bedroom. he dishes out the orders and i follow. i messed up last night and did something incorrectly. i was almost scared for my life!

Posted by size zero superhero

Posted by DMV
i guess were all so used to doom and gloom on dxp, but i just meant this as like "wow" first time in my life ive felt like during sex, my body was not my own. it was just a different kind of feeling.

afterwards i could barely look at him. i was more embarrassed for my own actions and what i allowed him to do to me. its not that he's selfish, its actually quite the opposite. he is one of those guys who get off on their partners pleasure.

Hmm. I suppose I consider sex a collaborative effort first and foremost. Doesn't necessarily make me feel empowered, nor does it compromise my sense of autonomy.

click to expand

im usually the same way till last night.

Posted by Rockthenerds
Let's see if Rock can help you knock this shit right the fuck out? what you got for me? I need something tangible. Somethin' right down the middle.. Come on let's have it.. Did you let him piss on you or something—

swing and a miss

lets just say, i felt like a blow up doll. whatever u think u can do a blow up doll.

Posted by Rockthenerds
Fuuucck!!! I thought you had yourself a pisser

funny

Awww DMV this makes me feel sad, I've listened to women who've dated Sociopaths say the same thing that you're saying in this thread. Have you tried to talk to him about how you feel?

Also has he ever been in the prison system? Just wondering

Dang. 😢 That sounds sucky. No. I haven't. Maybe like "Wow. That's it?". Lol.

But in general how far I go is directly proportional to how strongly I feel for the person and how open I feel as well. So it kind of naturally prevents that from happening.

Dang. Have you been with this dude before?

Posted by Rockthenerds
Fuuucck!!! I thought you had yourself a pisser

Omg. I want to have this picture to whip out anytime I need a laugh. This is classic.

Posted by tiki33
Awww DMV this makes me feel sad, I've listened to women who've dated Sociopaths say the same thing that you're saying in this thread. Have you tried to talk to him about how you feel?

Also has he ever been in the prison system? Just wondering

.

actually yeah he has been locked up. dope boy

Posted by Mebs
Dang. 😢 That sounds sucky. No. I haven't. Maybe like "Wow. That's it?". Lol.

But in general how far I go is directly proportional to how strongly I feel for the person and how open I feel as well. So it kind of naturally prevents that from happening.

Dang. Have you been with this dude before?

i just want some more power in the bedroom.

Posted by MzSag

Posted by DMV
lets just say, i felt like a blow up doll. whatever u think u can do a blow up doll.

So... You guys did 30 seconds of missionary and then he came on your stomach with tears in his eyes?

😛

click to expand

haha no

Posted by exoskeleton
red flag, dmv. dude is not respecting you, and you're not respecting yourself.

total submission/power games in the bedroom is fine i think, but not when it fucks with your head.

it all just goes down in the bedroom. i mean like, i like his sex. outside of the bedroom he is completely different, respectful, always helps me out. but once i take my clothes off, its his production. why cant the production be a team effort mars in scorpio?

Posted by Mebs
Dang. 😢 That sounds sucky. No. I haven't. Maybe like "Wow. That's it?". Lol.

But in general how far I go is directly proportional to how strongly I feel for the person and how open I feel as well. So it kind of naturally prevents that from happening.

Dang. Have you been with this dude before?

its the sag guy. been in a sexual relationship going on 2 years. but he just has all the power in the bedroom. i would like to call the shots at least one.

Posted by exoskeleton
the production should be a team effort, and both partners should be more than satisfied. does he take the time to please you?

you don't need to be so passive. if you wanna switch it up, do it. initiate, tell him what you want, etc. he'd probably be turned on by it.

yeah he actually pays more attention to me and my needs. im trying not to complain about being overly satisfied in the bedroom. he is into my pleasure and getting me off which gets him off. i guess i just dont want to feel like such a slut afterwards.

i actually did try to change things up and take the reins and i got quickly shut down. did that about a year ago and havent done it again. pluto rising can be a bit unnerving.

i dont even get to decide what to wear during sex. i wear his outfits that he picks out, wear it how he likes it. like if i try to move my underwear to make me comfortable, i get read the riot act. its a interesting phenomenon. i think there have been a few times where i have picked the position and it was actually one that he liked as well.

i have trouble speaking up for myself and going after the things i want.. mars sq neptune.

Posted by exoskeleton
way to fuck up the quoting, rock. 😛

d, it sounds like you're a little afraid of men...? and not pleasing them. and part of you enjoys him overpowering you like that. a masochist.

sometime when you two are just chillin', not having sex, say something about it. it's not gonna get any better if you stay silent.

ok i will try that. i have spoken about some sexual things im into and he responds very quickly and gives me what i need. i guess i dont want to ruin his experience either. he loves the sex and i dont want to mess his mojo up because i want to choose the position.

i should stop complaining.

i do like being told what to do though. thats fun for me.

i am afraid of men who have power over me.

Posted by Rockthenerds

Posted by DMV

Posted by exoskeleton
the production should be a team effort, and both partners should be more than satisfied. does he take the time to please you?

you don't need to be so passive. if you wanna switch it up, do it. initiate, tell him what you want, etc. he'd probably be turned on by it.

i have trouble speaking up for myself and going after the things i want.. mars sq neptune.

*fixed*
How bout scared conjunct with weakness.

Why is beccy the only one with balls enough to admit she just wants to rape a guy...Why beccy why must you be soo fffaaaarr from me...

click to expand

i want to slap him in the face but i was scared to. i will try that for starters.

Posted by ellessque
trust me, you will ruin nothing if you *DO* take a little control in the bedroom.

he might fuss but secretly he'll be eating that shit up.

I swear to you it is so hard to find someone to match our libido. 😭

Pulling some control out of your bag a tricks and I guarantee you will be absolutely amazed and HE WILL be left feeling like a blow up doll and LIKING it.

there is NO way *YOU* can "ruin" his experience....unless you lay there like a wet noodle and do nothing. ....and if you do that or are close to doing that, he WILL tell your ass about it or just simply stop giving it up.

its a learning experience to see the other side of the coin right?

Posted by exoskeleton
—he might fuss but secretly he'll be eating that shit up.??

word. just sit on his face and tell him to eat you. that'll shut him up. 🙂

define —power?? over you?

we dont kiss and he has never gone down on me. those were his rules. maybe this is the time to break em?

hmm power. i feel like i cant stand up to certain people...mainly plutonian. too intimidating. i guess im scared of what they will do next factor.

power as in, my boss, certain friends, my father. damn mutability in my chart, i blame my virgo placement. i take alot of shit and when im done taking it i either blow or up, mostly, walk away from the situation. when the fear turns out to be imagined, im good to go with the person.

Posted by ellessque
yes, it is. 🙂

*goes thru all the mars signs I've been with and thinks about who I probably scared the living shit out of* 😛

i guarantee you, one is a mars in virgo.

Posted by exoskeleton
—we dont kiss and he has never gone down on me. those were his rules. maybe this is the time to break em—

wut

why are you even with this dude?

sex should be equal, ffs. libra mars has spoken. *gong*

for the sex. this is the sag guy. im his jumpoff. he eats and kisses at home. that part doesnt bother me. im not really big into either.

aside from the moral aspect of all this, i just want to get more control in the bedroom.

Posted by Rockthenerds

Chart assesment- 20 mins
Fucking him in his ass 30 mins
Holding a bag of frozen peas on his asshole- 10 mins
The satisfaction of well taken advice that's actually useful in your life- Timeless.

@ exo +1 doesn't sound very substantial imo.

your a gemini moon right? are u a merc in sag 2?

Posted by Rockthenerds
Moon in gem yes but Idk about the merc. Whashuh got?

i run into the scorp with the same issue. i dont know when you really want a legitimate answer or if ur just trying to make fun of the situation.

i want to respond but i dont know if im the source of entertainment.

Posted by exoskeleton
so you're "the other woman"? that may have something to do with your lack of control.

ic

Posted by exoskeleton
i think rock's just saying rape may be in order, lol.

ohh. naw im not doing that unless he comes out and asks for it like the tauri did.

Posted by exoskeleton
you're still giving it up. he feels like he can treat you like shit. and he will until you man up.

no. im not being treated like shit. i am treated rather well. i just want more control in the bedroom. hes not a bad guy.

Posted by ellessque

Posted by exoskeleton
—we dont kiss and he has never gone down on me. those were his rules. maybe this is the time to break em—

wut

why are you even with this dude?

sex should be equal, ffs. libra mars has spoken. *gong*

+100

wtf? mars in scorpio doesn't have rules. *confused*

what do you want out of this?

click to expand

some control in the bedroom. no marriage, no wifey, no gf, no dinner dates, no long walks on the beach.

Posted by Rockthenerds

Posted by DMV

Posted by Rockthenerds
Moon in gem yes but Idk about the merc. Whashuh got?

i run into the scorp with the same issue. i dont know when you really want a legitimate answer or if ur just trying to make fun of the situation.

i want to respond but i dont know if im the source of entertainment.

Go head I'm always willing to hear about astrology though you know how i feel about it and you know how I feel about sex in general so what's there to doubt?

I'll admit I get more out of you when I am blunt, but besides that if you're going to ask for help without telling people wtf you're talking about and use placements as a way to mask the situation and how you general feel about yourself then in some ways I find that funny but that doesnt mean I'm unwilling to listen. Your thread says" I " feel, but you're saying you're "placements feel" and you telling me Im confusing you??

click to expand

in not good with writing out my words. the words dont come out right which leaves people confused. your not alone. i end up coming across choppy and all over the place.

im jealous of those who write exactly how they want to come across.

Posted by ellessque
if he's making "rules", he's treating you like shit.

call him out. or just enjoy what you have and stop complaining about it.

this is about you, is it not? keep it about you.

how is he treating me like shit?

day one, we met and it was sex. its been like that for the last 600+ days. nothing has changed in regards to my feelings for him. purely sexual.

i want nothing more from him. he has a family with kids. even talking about his personal life is crazy to me because its irrelevant to me.

you ever felt that way about sex with someone else. like u were there for their enjoyment? afterwards you feel used, abused, and can hardly look at your partner after what they did to you?

i meant this as in a sexual way. like your partner does something so sexual to you that your embarrassed afterwards. not as in, im being mentally and psychically abused by my partner and this is a cry for help.

i need to use more smiley faces. i should have titled this, how to get more control in the bedroom.

Posted by exoskeleton
you're trying to force this into a purely sexual thing when it's more complicated than that.

your feelings are involved, like it or not.

i dont see it. i dont even know how feelings got dragged into this; romantic ones that is.

Posted by Rockthenerds

Posted by DMV

Posted by exoskeleton
you're trying to force this into a purely sexual thing when it's more complicated than that.

your feelings are involved, like it or not.

i dont see it. i dont even know how feelings got dragged into this; romantic ones that is.

+1 who needs feelings when you have placements.

click to expand

again, r u being facetious or are you being serious?

Posted by exoskeleton
rock has a point. no need to explain/justify this shit with astro.

i didn't mean necessarily romantic feelings, but obviously there's something more to this than you wanting "control".

nope that's all it is.

Posted by Rockthenerds
*****complete, and utter exhaustion***

u are more than able to excuse yourself from the blog u know? your choosing to be exhausted with me.

what is so wrong with talking astro neways?

Posted by HonneTatemae

Posted by DMV

Posted by exoskeleton
you're trying to force this into a purely sexual thing when it's more complicated than that.

your feelings are involved, like it or not.

i dont see it. i dont even know how feelings got dragged into this; romantic ones that is.

Then what kind of "feelings" are you referring to when you post a thread entitled "sometimes i feel like a blow up doll"?

I'm thinking it's probably pride, right? You are lamenting the fact that you "feel" like nothing more than an instrument for his sexual pleasure. And based on the interpersonal dynamics you have described, that is EXACTLY what you are.

But seriously- what did you expect? This guy doesn't kiss either set of your lips. He has another woman. He doesn't love you and probably never will. In essence, you ARE a blow-up doll, DMV.

Now if this arrangement isn't working for you on some level, why aren't you doing anything about it? You are a Saggie, CMV. We are all about action. Start channeling that action-motivated fire.

If I was in your situation (and sorry- but I never would be), I would definitely walk. I doubt the sex is that irreplaceable. And I don't see how things are going to get any better in the future.

click to expand

hmmm i dunno.... his sex is pretty outstanding.

i just think were going far left with what i was intending to talk about. i just dont see the connection of how me wanting to gain more control in the bedroom is a factor of me being a jumpoff? seriously, the moral issue here is a moot point.

plenty of jumpoff relationships have an equal give and take in the bedroom. plenty. plenty of females jumpoffs get to choose the position, if they want to wear clothes or not, and where it happens, etc

Elle already told me how to go about getting some footing with a mars in scorpio, so im going to go with what she said.

i dont even know how we got to the topic of love and not love.

Posted by HonneTatemae

Posted by DMV
i dont even know how we got to the topic of love and not love.

Huh? Did you even read my last post, which had absolutely NOTHING to do with 'love'?

Tie him up and blindfold him. Club him over the head if you have to. Make his toes curl with unspeakable acts of animal lust.

DO something, instead of just thinking and/or complaining about it.

click to expand

are you normally this abrasive?

funny u mention blindfold..

we were doing it and he asked if i had a blindfold. i said yeah, ripped open the pack, and went to put it on him. he sharply turned his head and said "no, not for me, for YOU!"

so you see how that went.

Posted by exoskeleton
interesting how "honne" and "tatemae" come into play with your situation, d.

you don't have to admit shit to us, your pride is in the way, but i do hope you admit it to yourself and figure your shit out.

admit what?

Posted by HonneTatemae
Are you really a Sag, DMV?

No offence, but I'm detecting a distinct lack of both logical and analytical abilities.

If I have offended you, I apologize. I wasn't trying to be abrasive. I just find it very frustrating speaking with someone who chooses voluntary blindness over reason.

Especially another Sagittarian. I would expect this type of behaviour from some of the other signs, but not a Saggie.

Anyways, good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Peace out.

lator gator

i dont think him choosing not to go down or kiss me is a lack of respect at all. there are some men who dont like oral or kissing. some women as well. sexual preference.

"I don't have sex with people I neither kiss NOR go down on. That just reeks of a lack of some kind of inherent respect on his part."

hmmm. there have been plenty of men ive had sex with who i havent kissed or given fellatio 2. i dont think im disrespecting them. am i? i think its perfectly reasonable to not go down on EVERYONE.

Posted by HonneTatemae
Then carry on, but don't complain about your fate.

You have- in essence- chosen to be his blow-up doll.

i guess the confusion is on both sides. im not asking about respect, or how to get this guy to fall. thats not the issue for me. the issue is how to get him to roll over and take some of my orders. thats it. the sex is extraordinarily fantastic.

elle had some good points and ive tried the blindfold. hes tied me up and when i went to do it to him; i got shut down.

Posted by ellessque
sure, it's perfectly normal for you and your mars in virgo.

a mars in scorpio, once they decide to fuck......isn't really going to hold back any form of pleasure. Nor are they going to come up with rules if they are comfortable in the situation.

they will also be a little submissive if they trust you.

so....you "know" something is "off", that is why you are feeling what you are feeling.

he's not going "all in" and you can feel the pull back.

pull back for mars in scorpio is not natural unless we are really not that into what we are doing.

we control everything in the bedroom for the most part unless someone takes it away from forcefully and we get off on that too.

naw, i dont feel like something is off. i just want do dish out some orders. i dont feel a pull back from hit at all. he cant possible be having sex with me multiple times a week for hours on end if he were pulling back and not into what he was doing.

lemme ask you a question, so when u gave up some power...for how long did u do give it up for?

Posted by ellessque
pull back = there is not a chance in hell you are blindfolding me

so him saying no to blindfold, being tied up, not letting me give some orders is him not trusting me and pulling back? is this only relegated to the bedroom?

Posted by ellessque
mars in scorpio?

yeah, that happens with us. *blushing*

however, speak your mind....he's waiting for you to do that. if not, we will run right over you. sometimes *you* aren't even there. LOL

we will take control of everything if you let us and you will become our own personal playground. i never really thought that would bother someone. *shrugs*. thanks for sharing, you gave me a whole new perspective on my bedroom behaviour.
.

Sounds like war.