Rays_of_Love
@Rays_of_Love
7 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 17 · Topics: 1
We Finally Had Sex!! Now What? How Do I Keep Her?
I know everyone's gonna write me off and be like, don't fall for her too soon! But I could truly see myself with her and falling in love someday....Our chemistry is so beautiful and natural. I don't feel like I have to walk on eggshells like when I'm with the Aries I've been seeing lately. I was about to make the Aries lady my girlfriend until Liz suddenly became available and that door opened. Liz made me realize how much I've been settling. She makes me feel so sexy, like a king.
To answer your question, I'm getting worried though. We had sex on Thursday night (3/8/2018) and she still has not replied to me since. We held each other close after sex and she asked me to text her when I got home to know I made it safe.
Our last texts were,
Me: Well, it was a sleepy drive but I made it home! Goodnight beautiful *blowing a kiss smiley*
Her: Goodnight *smiley*
I did send a text two days later because I was worried she might think I just was trying to hookup with her:
"Wherever you are, I just want to say you've been in my head, like a beautiful melody I can't forget"
But she never replied. I'm getting sad and kinda worried. She still hasn't dropped her "relationship with ____" status yet on her Facebook.
To answer your question, I'm getting worried though. We had sex on Thursday night (3/8/2018) and she still has not replied to me since. We held each other close after sex and she asked me to text her when I got home to know I made it safe.
Our last texts were,
Me: Well, it was a sleepy drive but I made it home! Goodnight beautiful *blowing a kiss smiley*
Her: Goodnight *smiley*
I did send a text two days later because I was worried she might think I just was trying to hookup with her:
"Wherever you are, I just want to say you've been in my head, like a beautiful melody I can't forget"
But she never replied. I'm getting sad and kinda worried. She still hasn't dropped her "relationship with ____" status yet on her Facebook.
(Continued)
I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt because I know that she works late (5 days a week) and she has four kids. Before we had sex, she and I would exchange texts once or twice a week, so it's not too far out of character for her to not message me for several days....However, when I message her, she would usually get back to me within a couple hours.
I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt because I know that she works late (5 days a week) and she has four kids. Before we had sex, she and I would exchange texts once or twice a week, so it's not too far out of character for her to not message me for several days....However, when I message her, she would usually get back to me within a couple hours.
Posted by Rays_of_Lovedon't be a sapp
I know everyone's gonna write me off and be like, don't fall for her too soon! But I could truly see myself with her and falling in love someday....Our chemistry is so beautiful and natural. I don't feel like I have to walk on eggshells like when I'm with the Aries I've been seeing lately. I was about to make the Aries lady my girlfriend until Liz suddenly became available and that door opened. Liz made me realize how much I've been settling. She makes me feel so sexy, like a king.
To answer your question, I'm getting worried though. We had sex on Thursday night (3/8/2018) and she still has not replied to me since. We held each other close after sex and she asked me to text her when I got home to know I made it safe.
Our last texts were,
Me: Well, it was a sleepy drive but I made it home! Goodnight beautiful *blowing a kiss smiley*
Her: Goodnight *smiley*
I did send a text two days later because I was worried she might think I just was trying to hookup with her:
"Wherever you are, I just want to say you've been in my head, like a beautiful melody I can't forget"
But she never replied. I'm getting sad and kinda worried. She still hasn't dropped her "relationship with ____" status yet on her Facebook.
my dad who is a leo was a sapp
married his sagg ( who coincidentally had a bunch of kids too)
she cheated on him within 6 months of marriage
Are you bad in bed? Because I feel like either you’re bad in bed or maybe she’s having a hard time breaking it off with the boyfriend bc she’s unsure?
Posted by Rays_of_LoveNo, look... people make time for what they want to make time for. Black and white. Think about it - if you suddenly got really “busy”, would that stop you from texting her? I doubt it.
(Continued)
I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt because I know that she works late (5 days a week) and she has four kids. Before we had sex, she and I would exchange texts once or twice a week, so it's not too far out of character for her to not message me for several days....However, when I message her, she would usually get back to me within a couple hours.
Myth, normally your question would be warranted and the same thing I would ask if our positions were reversed. However, she herself told me without asking that our sex was "amazing". We both worked up a great sweat and she told me I got her off no less than six times. I love the way we kiss most of all. How nicely she fits in my arms and melts when I kiss her.
play mind games
don't call her
or take her seriously
borderline disrespect her
don't call her
or take her seriously
borderline disrespect her
Well Arkansassy, why would she go out of her way to tell me how good it was? Are Sag women the type to lie? All I read about is how blunt and direct they are.
Posted by ConsiderableMythSorry Myth, I overlooked the second part of your question. I think you may be hitting on something. She did tell me in one of our flirty conversations a few days prior to having sex:
Are you bad in bed? Because I feel like either you’re bad in bed or maybe she’s having a hard time breaking it off with the boyfriend bc she’s unsure?
"I have so many things I want to respond with. I just feel really "guilty"...almost...about it.
Not really sure how I feel, or how I should feel right now..."
That was in response to me randomly messaging her that she was on my mind and I was horny thinking about all the dirty things I wanted to do to her. Prior to that she had told me she loves being talked dirty to.
The other thing I forgot to state was that she mentioned he had proposed to her and she said yes. But their relationship has been on the rocks for awhile. Pursuing me would mean she would have to call off the engagement. Maybe I should just give her more time. I care about her so much and don't want to give up on this beautiful connection we have - I truly believe the best is yet to come.
Posted by Rays_of_LoveYeah this is what makes me nervous. I got engaged at 20 and I met someone that I still, to this day, would pursue something with seriously and I still got married, but I just never acted on my feelings for this other guy. My point is - I knew he and I both had stronger feelings for each other than me and my soon to be husband, but I never could let my fiancé down.
The other thing I forgot to state was that she mentioned he had proposed to her and she said yes. But their relationship has been on the rocks for awhile. Pursuing me would mean she would have to call off the engagement. Maybe I should just give her more time. I care about her so much and don't want to give up on this beautiful connection we have - I truly believe the best is yet to come.
Posted by ArkansassyThis is doubtful. Female minds don’t work the same as males.Posted by Rays_of_LoveYou come across as a man that has to ask if it was good. She most likely picked up on that and cradled your ego.
Well Arkansassy, why would she go out of her way to tell me how good it was? Are Sag women the type to lie? All I read about is how blunt and direct they are.click to expand
Myth, what do you think I should do? Part of me wants to just keep flirting and do what I was do before that attracted her to me. The other part of me (probably because my Venus is in Cancer and I'm sentimental) must acknowledge that things escalated to sex and we gave a piece of our souls to each other. I don't want to come off as a guy that just wants her for sex to get his fill, either. Whether we want to admit it or not, sex does change things a bit.
Posted by OCJackI'm not here to engage in mudslinging on the quality of our sex or my "game". She told me it was amazing without me asking and said she came 6 times. I believe she meant it. I can usually pick out bullshit a mile away. I wasn't born yesterday and I know how a liar behaves.
The vast majority of this story is made up.
None of us believe your Leo Ego hype.
I wouldn't have created this thread if I didn't honestly seek advice in doing right by this woman I care so much about.
Posted by CaramelizedCoffeeWhat are you insinuating?
I read 4 kids and stopped reading
Leo's are so worthless
Caramelized, you have no clue what you are talking about. Are you seriously calling that Aries I was seeing a "viable" option? You mean the one that never calls, makes me do all the work, always expects me to pay, is overly critical about everything, and never is accountable for her own mistakes? That one? Of course you never asked about the other girl because you're just here to talk smack like OCJack.
I am open to any constructive advice the rest of you are willing to offer.
I am open to any constructive advice the rest of you are willing to offer.
Posted by ArkansassyLibra, but you already knew that before you asked the question. But in general, women don’t go out of their way to say something whether we feel we should or not...Posted by ConsiderableMythYou're a Sag woman?Posted by ArkansassyThis is doubtful. Female minds don’t work the same as males.Posted by Rays_of_LoveYou come across as a man that has to ask if it was good. She most likely picked up on that and cradled your ego.
Well Arkansassy, why would she go out of her way to tell me how good it was? Are Sag women the type to lie? All I read about is how blunt and direct they are.click to expand
Posted by MiZLeoWhile we were cuddling after sex, she told me she wanted to "take things slow" and I said I'm willing to go at whatever pace she is comfortable with. I don't dispute what you said in your first paragraph. I want to be with her and I'm even willing to take on the awesome responsibility of being that male figure in her children's lives. We've been talking and hanging out for awhile now. This wasn't just some one-day thing. Want to share my kingdom with her, my music, and take her on all the adventures her beautiful Sagittarius wanderlust can handle 🙂
This is breaking my Leo heart 😭😭😭 Why do we put ourselves through this torture—??
I was confused as to what she was playing at until you mentioned she said yes to Mr. Eds proposal. It sounds like she wanted a last fling. Or... maybe you were a rebound of some sort. Ed is her rebound from her marriage.
I have Sag rising and 2 Sag sisters. I see them play this game with men all the time. They have been married 3 times each and one is engaged to #4(that's what I call him cause he might not be #last) they always have these guys chasing them and they use them and sleep with them but in the end they pick like one and marry him. They are twins and turning 50 this year and still play this game. At this point I don't even pay attention to anyone they date until it's proven permanent.... But I know eventually they get bored of them.
But who knows. I could be wrong.
She also told me that one of the major issues she had with Ed is that he's 9 years older than her yet acts far younger, as in immature. He also doesn't give a rip about her kids, her feelings, or stepping into that role. How can you start something long-term with someone if you aren't willing to work yourselves into each other's lives?
Don't date married people
Comes off as if he is writing a book. I did manage to read through his lengthy post. This woman appears to be mostly unavailable, especially since they known each other for quite sometime. She should respond back, if not then you have your answer
These forums have really become a lot more hostile than when I knew them 7-8 years ago. I could care less if anyone thinks she lied about the sex. And as I've already stated, she offered her positive opinion WITHOUT me asking. Obviously you're just here to take cheapshots at me.
I'M here for her. I want advice on what to do going forward. If you wanna bitch about how long the original post was or continue to make cheapshots at me based on assumptions, then there are plenty of other threads you can go to.
I'M here for her. I want advice on what to do going forward. If you wanna bitch about how long the original post was or continue to make cheapshots at me based on assumptions, then there are plenty of other threads you can go to.
I'm thinking she may be a cheater. Because the last time she had a falling out with Ed (around the time I met her last summer), she was telling me when I made my interest clear, that she had a long-distance love interest that was flying into town and she was excited to see him. Being the fire sign that I am, knowing she is a Sag, and just plain logic says no one travels that far unless they expect sex. So she fucks him and I find out later while talking to Ed the night we all hungout after karaoke that "she fucked up bigtime and I let her know that she better change or I'm gone" in his words (somewhere along those lines).
Now fast-forward to last Thursday (3/8). Texts me excitedly during the day saying she will call me, postpones, apologizes, then calls and tells me that she broke up with Ed and wants to meet me at karaoke. We have sex and in the following days I notice that she never changed her Facebook relationship status.
So can't seem to breakup and can't seem to finalize a divorce....I think I see a pattern here my beloved Sag's....Is this out of character for a Sag woman in your life experiences?
Now fast-forward to last Thursday (3/8). Texts me excitedly during the day saying she will call me, postpones, apologizes, then calls and tells me that she broke up with Ed and wants to meet me at karaoke. We have sex and in the following days I notice that she never changed her Facebook relationship status.
So can't seem to breakup and can't seem to finalize a divorce....I think I see a pattern here my beloved Sag's....Is this out of character for a Sag woman in your life experiences?
Posted by Rays_of_Love
Caramelized, you have no clue what you are talking about. Are you seriously calling that Aries I was seeing a "viable" option? You mean the one that never calls, makes me do all the work, always expects me to pay, is overly critical about everything, and never is accountable for her own mistakes? That one? Of course you never asked about the other girl because you're just here to talk smack like OCJack.
I am open to any constructive advice the rest of you are willing to offer.
Ah yes, the Aries... the one you were going to make your girlfriend...
Posted by AgentP911The Sag girl made me change my mind. Our chemistry is 10x better.Posted by Rays_of_Love
Caramelized, you have no clue what you are talking about. Are you seriously calling that Aries I was seeing a "viable" option? You mean the one that never calls, makes me do all the work, always expects me to pay, is overly critical about everything, and never is accountable for her own mistakes? That one? Of course you never asked about the other girl because you're just here to talk smack like OCJack.
I am open to any constructive advice the rest of you are willing to offer.
Ah yes, the Aries... the one you were going to make your girlfriend...
click to expand
Posted by Rays_of_LovePosted by AgentP911The Sag girl made me change my mind. Our chemistry is 10x better.Posted by Rays_of_Love
Caramelized, you have no clue what you are talking about. Are you seriously calling that Aries I was seeing a "viable" option? You mean the one that never calls, makes me do all the work, always expects me to pay, is overly critical about everything, and never is accountable for her own mistakes? That one? Of course you never asked about the other girl because you're just here to talk smack like OCJack.
I am open to any constructive advice the rest of you are willing to offer.
Ah yes, the Aries... the one you were going to make your girlfriend...
click to expand
You just listed all the reasons you didn’t like the Aries girl yet were prepared to make her your girlfriend. She had a lucky escape!
As soon as the Sag hit problems with her older boyfriend she called you up to fill her gap, literally!
I think you’re placing a LOT of emphasis on ‘chemistry’ here and avoiding the facts of the case. These are:
1. She’s still married.
2. She’s not available.
That’s about it really. Those should be enough to deter you but if it’s not then some other points are:
1. She got with this fella super quickly.
2. She’s concerned regarding the compatibility with this fella yet instead of sorting it out she’s playing around with you.
3. She called you as soon as they ‘broke up’ (which didn’t really sound like an actual break up at all) to console her and offered you sex immediately.
4. She doesn’t seem to mind that you were knobbing her mate called Star, plus her mate was noshing your knob and then as soon as you’d finished you zoomed up to the Sag to try it on with her! Quality bloke... not!
5. She doesn’t seem to mind being with her boyfriend yet coming onto you right in front of him.
I could go on...
I did think you must have Cancerian placements because to me you sound like you’re quite troubled. A bit immature in a way. Mainly with your outlook including a lack of good morals and poor judgement.
I don’t think you sound like you have a good character. I mean, what self respecting, good quality man, would be chasing after a woman who is still married with four kids in tow and who already has a boyfriend, just because you think you had a good shag?
That’s mental.
Posted by Rays_of_Love
I'm thinking she may be a cheater. Because the last time she had a falling out with Ed (around the time I met her last summer), she was telling me when I made my interest clear, that she had a long-distance love interest that was flying into town and she was excited to see him. Being the fire sign that I am, knowing she is a Sag, and just plain logic says no one travels that far unless they expect sex. So she fucks him and I find out later while talking to Ed the night we all hungout after karaoke that "she fucked up bigtime and I let her know that she better change or I'm gone" in his words (somewhere along those lines).
Now fast-forward to last Thursday (3/8). Texts me excitedly during the day saying she will call me, postpones, apologizes, then calls and tells me that she broke up with Ed and wants to meet me at karaoke. We have sex and in the following days I notice that she never changed her Facebook relationship status.
So can't seem to breakup and can't seem to finalize a divorce....I think I see a pattern here my beloved Sag's....Is this out of character for a Sag woman in your life experiences?
And you want this person—??
I think you just cane to your senses and summed it up rather well.
This isn’t a ‘Sag’ problem. This is a fucked up human being problem who hasn’t got her shit together.
Why on earth would you want to be a part of a woman like this? What on earth do you think is going to happen in the future? How do you see it? It’s a recipie for disaster and a shed load of hurt.
There’s eight billion people on this planet. Find someone who IS available, who won’t fuck you about, and who you have good chemistry with (a 7/10 is more than enough to sustain a long and happy relationship) and who you are compatible with. A woman of good morals and character. They do exist.
Posted by Rays_of_LoveUm, I had really good sex with someone and didn't call them for 2 weeks lol I didn't want to make it into something that they weren't ready for.
(Continued)
I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt because I know that she works late (5 days a week) and she has four kids. Before we had sex, she and I would exchange texts once or twice a week, so it's not too far out of character for her to not message me for several days....However, when I message her, she would usually get back to me within a couple hours.
What are her placements? You sent her a text, but it was just a statement. What was she supposed to say back? Send her another one, but do't be all romantic with hearts in your eyes. Just be normal. you guys are friends right now, so flirt without the romantic crap. Do the sexy flirting, not the mushy kind.
You can even be blunt and ask when the next time you are gonna see her. If she says "I don't know, I've been really busy", then she's blowing you off. We are fire signs and all about actions! Go chase her down, LEO! But leave the sappiness for bedroom talk only lol
Posted by saggurl88👏👏👏 +1Posted by Rays_of_LoveUm, I had really good sex with someone and didn't call them for 2 weeks lol I didn't want to make it into something that they weren't ready for.
(Continued)
I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt because I know that she works late (5 days a week) and she has four kids. Before we had sex, she and I would exchange texts once or twice a week, so it's not too far out of character for her to not message me for several days....However, when I message her, she would usually get back to me within a couple hours.
What are her placements? You sent her a text, but it was just a statement. What was she supposed to say back? Send her another one, but do't be all romantic with hearts in your eyes. Just be normal. you guys are friends right now, so flirt without the romantic crap. Do the sexy flirting, not the mushy kind.
You can even be blunt and ask when the next time you are gonna see her. If she says "I don't know, I've been really busy", then she's blowing you off. We are fire signs and all about actions! Go chase her down, LEO! But leave the sappiness for bedroom talk only lolclick to expand
Posted by Rays_of_LoveI was in a relationship for lots of years and still haven't changed my fb profile. I wont add anyone as a friend either though. I don't want anyone in my business asking questions lol Fb means nothing to me
. We have sex and in the following days I notice that she never changed her Facebook relationship status.
So can't seem to breakup and can't seem to finalize a divorce....I think I see a pattern here my beloved Sag's....Is this out of character for a Sag woman in your life experiences?
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First some background info:
Me (Leo 8/21/1985):
I'm 32, single with no kids, serious musician, live on my own in a house with my drummer and just came out of a rough time in my life being unemployed for a year. But I'm settling into a solid new job now and things are really looking up on all fronts - Professionally, musically, and of course my lovelife 😆 RAHH!!
Her "Liz" (Sagittarius 12/15/1983):
She's 34, she was once married and had 4 beautiful kids with her ex-husband. It may be important to note that she has not finalized the divorce yet but they have been separated for over a year. They also share custody where she has the kids during the day and he has them at night.
So after she separated with her husband, she started dating this guy Ed for about a year and a half (close timing I know, which is why I am a little bit nervous). Ed is 9 years older than her. They've broken up a couple times and I think she fucked a long-distance fling when he flew into town while they were on break.
I met Liz through another girl I was pursuing at the time named Star. Star was a wild hot, highly sexual, aggressive Libra but definitely not girlfriend material for me. Nothing wrong with a hookup if we both know what it is, right? She invited me to a karaoke bar to meet some of her friends and there she was....Liz was the quiet one of the bunch but really opened up to me. Long beautiful brunette hair and stunning brown eyes.
Star had to go home early because she was getting plastered as usual, so I gave her a ride. But she totally gave me road head on the way back LMAO. This lady was the crazy life of the party. But I kept thinking about how special Liz was. There was something so natural about our chemistry. I was compelled to race back to the bar. King Leo was gonna chase down his future queen and was willing to risk his pride to take that leap of faith. I got back to the karaoke bar just as it was closing and there she was. I couldn't believe she was still there. I mustered up the courage and was basically like, "Look, I know I'm going out on a limb here because we just met, but I just drove all the way back here to get your number. I would really like to see you again." She had an amazing smile and agreed.
This was back in August 2017 and over the course of the last several months, we have kept in contact every couple weeks or so via text and even met up at a few raves. One of note was a masquerade style rave. She looks absolutely stunning in her vintage outfit and mask. I could see that golden smile behind anything 🙂 She came up to me and gave me one of those deep loving hugs.
One night, she invited me to join her and her boyfriend Ed again at a karaoke bar. She mentioned it was her birthday and was sad I was the only friend who showed up. She let me know how happy she was I came even though we knew each other for a short time, she could count on me. Ed was pleasant to me and we had good conversation and threw darts together. He knew that I liked her and she liked me and they were open about it. However, it was not an open relationship. Even though she was with Ed, whenever I spoke to her, I always had her full attention and she made me feel like I was the only man in the room. Later that night, we went back to Liz's lady friend's house with a couple people. Liz had recently found out that one of her friends had died and she was sitting on Ed's lap on the chair across from me and I could tell he wasn't being very understanding or receptive. She kept trying to love up on him and get close to him for emotional support and he would just keep smoking and be like, "You need to be a good host for your friends".
About a week later, when Liz and I texted, I mentioned how this bothered me and she responded with, "I'm both embarrassed and sad that you picked up on the importance of that while he absolutely didn't!"
We went a lot deeper than we normally did and started talking about how the love interests we were pursuing just weren't meeting our needs and how we always had an uphill battle trying to get the other person to pursue and desire us. At the time up through the present, I had/have been pursuing an Aries, Sammy, who is kinda selfish like that. She always expects me to pay for dates, arrange dates, call her, won't even kiss me, is very critical of me, and then complains on Facebook how guys don't treat her well and no one wants her, basically ignoring the sunshine I bring to her life. I'm sick of it.
The text conversation with Liz got sexual eventually and she told me how she may break up with him sooner than later. She finally called me last Thursday and dropped the bombshell that she finally broke up with him and invited me to see her at the same bar we first met at. We threw darts, sang, and flirted. As we were walking back to our cars, I thought the night was gonna end there, but she was like, "So you wanna just follow me?" (As in back to her place??). I was like "Oh shit, it's on now...". She took me upstairs and into her bedroom and showed me her lizard collection, haha. I finally laid a kiss on her and it was almost spiritual how we both melted into each other with such passion. We had the most mind-blowing sex I've had in years. As we were cuddling, she said we need to take things slow (lol?). But I understood and said lovingly, "I want to be with you and I'm willing to go at whatever pace you're comfortable with." She told me to text her when I got home and I said, "Goodnight beautiful".
I haven't heard from her since Thursday night. What do I do? How do I keep her? I want to communicate with my actions that I am serious about her but I don't wanna be clingy either....