Being tested or not into me?

Normally if a guy just stopped talking to me out of nowhere, I would assume he's not interested & too much of a coward to tell me it's over. But I've looked online for the past two weeks and read a lot about scorpio men testing their partners.
We had been dating happily for 3 months until he went silent after I made plans with a friend (he knew about these plans) but he didn't seem to like that I was out without him (even though he had no plans to take me out that night anyway).
Is this silent treatment a test or is he just a jerk who couldn't even break up with me through a text/call/or email?

Posted by Deena002
Normally if a guy just stopped talking to me out of nowhere, I would assume he's not interested & too much of a coward to tell me it's over. But I've looked online for the past two weeks and read a lot about scorpio men testing their partners.
We had been dating happily for 3 months until he went silent after I made plans with a friend (he knew about these plans) but he didn't seem to like that I was out without him (even though he had no plans to take me out that night anyway).
Is this silent treatment a test or is he just a jerk who couldn't even break up with me through a text/call/or email?

His silent treatment is a test to see if you notice his feeling or not.

Me personally, I would get jealous either way if i was dating you and you were out with another guy, whether you told me or not..I can't help but think about all the negative things that could possibly be happening, very pessimistic in that matter. Possessive, jealous, etc.
What sign is his Venus in? What is your sun sign and venus sign?

I'm a taurus. I actually asked him the day before if he wanted to do something the next day. He said no, so I made plans with my best girl friend who is like a sister to me. (I've told him about her). The next day he asked if I had plans. I told him I did. He said to have fun & text him when I was done so we could hang out. I did text him, and haven't heard from him since.

My Venus sign is cancer & his is Sagittarius.

Posted by Deena002
I'm a taurus. I actually asked him the day before if he wanted to do something the next day. He said no, so I made plans with my best girl friend who is like a sister to me. (I've told him about her). The next day he asked if I had plans. I told him I did. He said to have fun & text him when I was done so we could hang out. I did text him, and haven't heard from him since.

well that changes things your friend being a girl and all.. lol. If it was a guy friend you were out with...I could probably understand the situation a little better.

Although I could see how he could still want you to WANT HIM to hang out with you two (if that makes sense). that whole "okay have fun, text after" i've said before when deep down inside i'm thinking "don't have fun, DON'T TEXT AFTER" I guess it could still be a jealousy thing come to think of it.. which is actually really bad unless you learn how to deal with it. This could be the issue/ test at hand. He wants to really FEEL like you WANT him to be there with you, whether you do or do not, i'm thinking he wanted you to invite him.

Anyway this is just me giving personal experience as some insight to you. Only time will tell if it's a true break up or test.. just be patient.

I would have asked him to hangout with us, but he said that he was tired from work and was gonna chill with his family.
I know how important family time is for him since he doesn't live at home, so I didnt bother asking.
I'm pretty loyal in general, but only to people that deserve it. If he's cheating, (which is what all my friends think) I could never take him back & if he's angry at me, there are some immaturity issues there that I will have to talk to him about (if he ever comes back). I just think that this anger he may be feeling came out of nowhere. And I have never been this sad over a relationship ending. Does anyone have any other possible suggestions or advice?

so he's not speaking to you because you hung out with your girlfriend? Good god, unbelievable.

Posted by Deena002
I would have asked him to hangout with us, but he said that he was tired from work and was gonna chill with his family.
I know how important family time is for him since he doesn't live at home, so I didnt bother asking.
I'm pretty loyal in general, but only to people that deserve it. If he's cheating, (which is what all my friends think) I could never take him back & if he's angry at me, there are some immaturity issues there that I will have to talk to him about (if he ever comes back). I just think that this anger he may be feeling came out of nowhere. And I have never been this sad over a relationship ending. Does anyone have any other possible suggestions or advice?

why do all you friends think he is cheating?

Feels like deja vu to me

My guy friends said that the only reason they would stop talking to a girl tgat suddenly is because they have a new one that they are more interested in.

My one friend who has met him said tgat he doesn't seem the type & I tend to be naive & too trusting, but I thought we were doing well. Although he tended to manipulate our time together by canceling or being late. But I just teased him for it. He did stand me up b/c he had to work late & that happened 2 days before he stopped texting me.

Posted by Deena002
My one friend who has met him said tgat he doesn't seem the type & I tend to be naive & too trusting, but I thought we were doing well. Although he tended to manipulate our time together by canceling or being late. But I just teased him for it. He did stand me up b/c he had to work late & that happened 2 days before he stopped texting me.

I'm confused on how this is manipulative behaviour. Sounds like he was inconsiderate really, which I think, is more reflective of how he saw your relationship.

Trust, he is probably not putting as much thought into what went wrong as you are. You've already wasted enough time on this man, don't you think?

Agreed inconsiderate is a better word. I just want to know if this behavior is normal for a scorpio man, as I have read, or if there is no way he will come back expecting me to wait for him.
Either way I'll be thinking about it because he just left & there was no closure. That is extremely difficult for me as I've never had anyone just ignore me without a reason before.

Posted by pathfinder
so he's not speaking to you because you hung out with your girlfriend? Good god, unbelievable.

seriously
scorp or not, who has patience to deal with that??

& is he a young scorp?
He may be pouting bc you were not all over him after you finished hanging out with your friend? It just seems childish and is probably waiting for you to come back around.
We scorps are pretty impossible 🙂

He is 25. Yes young. I even left a voice message the following day & an email 6 days later (1 week ago) to see if he was okay. No response, but he did update his Facebook. So at least he is alive. How long can the pouting last?

who knows? I would think a week
I say for the moment try to forget about him and 'do you'. Post things on facebook as well and have a damn good time. I am sure he will get jealous and see that you are having a good time without him and come running back.

basically you did nothing wrong. he is trying to make it seem like you did. dont give into it.
he will come back in due time

I hope so, it's going to be 2 weeks on Saturday. I don't think I did anything wrong, I have a feeling that we were getting along so well that maybe he panicked & decided to "test" the relationship or decided he wasn't ready for one. It sucks because I really liked him despite all his quirks. He was the nicest & sweetest guy I ever dated (up until he just ignored me) .

Posted by Deena002
Agreed inconsiderate is a better word. I just want to know if this behavior is normal for a scorpio man, as I have read, or if there is no way he will come back expecting me to wait for him.
Either way I'll be thinking about it because he just left & there was no closure. That is extremely difficult for me as I've never had anyone just ignore me without a reason before.

I see. Well, some people are just assh*les. If he broke up with you and did it in this punk ass way, he's acting like an assh*le. If he is "testing" you (which we don't do by disappearing btw), then he's acting like an assh*le. He could also be taking space (which is more our thing), but if he is and he's done it in such an inconsiderate fashion, he's still acting LIKE AN ASSH*LE. So....? I get the closure thing, but it sounds a little like you're wondering if you should blame yourself or not.

Regardless of his sign, would you want someone that "expects you to wait" for him to come back after treating you so poorly (e.g. the no shows, cancellations) and just disappearing without a word? Sounds quite similar to giving a dog a command "stay", no? Not trying to sound snarky, but I can't think of any way to say it. I'm tired.

Sorry your feeling low about it.

Posted by Deena002
He is 25. Yes young. I even left a voice message the following day & an email 6 days later (1 week ago) to see if he was okay. No response, but he did update his Facebook. So at least he is alive.

This is what I mean.......and he's 25?

Posted by Deena002
How long can the pouting last?

After three months of dating, and he knows he can do this to you? I'm not trying to be mean, but you must have saw this coming. What other hoops has he had you jumping through?

Hmph. Good point.

I really didn't see it coming. Maybe thats my personal stuff I have to figure out? There were no hoops, we usually hungout 3 or 2 times a week. He got a new job, so that was part of him being late & canceling. He was very attentive & always apologized the 3 times that happened & always made up for it. Everyone I know is surprised & just as confused as me. Maybe the disappearing thing is true, but he's very extroverted usually. Good to know Scorpio men don't just disappear. At least I got my answer.

Posted by Deena002
Good to know a mature man wouldn't just disappear. At least I got my answer.

*fixed.

Good luck Deena.

Thanks. It so weird how he could change over something so trivial (on my end anyway).

'I thought we were doing really well... then he/she just stopped. Maybe I have done something wrong ?!!' This method of thinking always comes when the silence has been recognized as silence.

You remember that time when you went out with your girlfriend ? Forget about it ! THIS incident had nothing to do with HIS disappearance. Speaking only from MY Scropio experiences... THIS is just what THEY do !

Yes... there is somthing wrong... the silence puts another into blaming themselves... taking it in personally... which is hard NOT to do... but in the end, you will find that what was troubling him was NOT at ALL what YOU thought.

Taurus needs ME-time too... the best way to deal with this, is to calibrate YOUR ME-time with HIS. Which is REALLY not a bad deal if you think about it. The hard part is not understanding the WHY and imagining the WHAT-IFs... self-torture without concrete reason. FACE it... YOU don't really know what is going on.

So send him an I-hope-you-are-all-right OR thinking-of-you type message here and there... NEVER with a question mark... because it is likely you will still get static... which would only disappoint YOU. HE WILL get back to you... but only when HE is ready... so stop wallowing in what HE is doing, and get on all of those things that you have been putting off for too long !
😉

I have sent him two unanswered texts, 1 unanswered voicemail & 1 unanswered email (never questions either). I hate nagging & there is only so much rejection I can take before I fall apart (overly dramatic, but true).

I like my alone time, but one day a week is good enough for me, I prefer to be around people personally. But when I'm sad I turn into a sloth & I'm too lazy to even eat. I've alway been that way.
I'm not wallowing in "what is he doing", I'm wallowing in "I'm going to miss him" because I'm sure that its over now.

Posted by Deena002
I have sent him two unanswered texts, 1 unanswered voicemail & 1 unanswered email (never questions either). I hate nagging & there is only so much rejection I can take before I fall apart (overly dramatic, but true).

I like my alone time, but one day a week is good enough for me, I prefer to be around people personally. But when I'm sad I turn into a sloth & I'm too lazy to even eat. I've alway been that way.
I'm not wallowing in "what is he doing", I'm wallowing in "I'm going to miss him" because I'm sure that its over now.

I know EXACTLY what you mean. So... no more messages... you have sent enough... take a deep breath... ZEN. 3-4 weeks is NOT uncommon for them... so until you have reached that point... try not to worry.

Thanks David13! I took you advise and after 2 weeks I texted him "thinking of you". He responded right away. Shocking. However after last week of normal behavior eating, watching TV, sleeping over each other's places, (what we had the first 3 months together) he acted weird again last night...

He was hanging with his family Sunday, but wanted to see me afterwards since he was in the neighborhood. He texted saying that he was in his way, if I was free. I said I was. But after an hour, I texted him asking if he was okay. Then I feel asleep, but awoke to no text or call from him. I texted again saying that I feel asleep and if he was safe. So far it's just been a day. But how rude to NOT even text a simple, "sorry it's late and I have work. & btw, yeah, I'm not dead." UGH!!

To continue: right after my last post the scorpio guy texted me saying that he'd "love to see me tonight" I said yes. But, he stood me up again instead; I'm assuming to start a fight. I didn't get angry, I just texted him this morning & said I should just visit him today after work...
No text back & I've given up now. I'm emotionally drained. And even though I still care, I have too let this go.

Hmmmm. Frustrating, isn't it.

Going back to your original question: 'Being tested or not into me'... the 'test' is mostly about him. He is 'testing' himself... seeing if he will miss you while he is not seeing you. His '[I would] love to see [you] tonight' was in actuality, the truth... but he denied himself... and the 'WOULD' here was not meant as a 'WILL'... nor was it a question of YES or NO. He just felt it... conveyed it to you... but it was still only his thought.

"I have to let this go", you said... not that easy for OUR renowned 'Taurus persistance'... WE don't really have that OFF switch... so what we 'SHOULD do' versing what we 'WILL do' tend to be at crossed purposes. I know that you are STILL thinking and re-thinking about ALL of THIS... whether it is good for you or not.

Scorpio just seems to know exactly how far they can push the proverbial envelope with Taurus... so I am sorry to say that YOU are not finished... because at the moment you say to yourself 'fuck HIM', is right next to the very moment when you find yourself embraced in his arms.

Again... synchronize your ME-time with HIS... the second message he does not answer is your signal that the minimum one-week silence period has begun. Believe or not, he WILL be thinking about you... he just won't say... but you will know it is the truth WHEN you see him again.

You have been so right David13, right after I posted this, he texted again. I called & he said that he wasn't getting any of my texts... True or not, I accepted his answer & once again, he had not returned a text in 4 days. The last I saw him, we celebrated the fact that I did not get laid off from work 🙂 he was very kind & supportive. I told him I bought him concert tickets for Oct. 25 (for his bday).
Fwd to today: I asked by text if I could visit him tonight & called. Got no answer. Ugh.
I deleted his number.

Posted by David13
'I thought we were doing really well... then he/she just stopped. Maybe I have done something wrong ?!!' This method of thinking always comes when the silence has been recognized as silence.

You remember that time when you went out with your girlfriend ? Forget about it ! THIS incident had nothing to do with HIS disappearance. Speaking only from MY Scropio experiences... THIS is just what THEY do !

Yes... there is somthing wrong... the silence puts another into blaming themselves... taking it in personally... which is hard NOT to do... but in the end, you will find that what was troubling him was NOT at ALL what YOU thought.

Taurus needs ME-time too... the best way to deal with this, is to calibrate YOUR ME-time with HIS. Which is REALLY not a bad deal if you think about it. The hard part is not understanding the WHY and imagining the WHAT-IFs... self-torture without concrete reason. FACE it... YOU don't really know what is going on.

So send him an I-hope-you-are-all-right OR thinking-of-you type message here and there... NEVER with a question mark... because it is likely you will still get static... which would only disappoint YOU. HE WILL get back to you... but only when HE is ready... so stop wallowing in what HE is doing, and get on all of those things that you have been putting off for too long !
😉

Right on the money... David.. 🙂

Scorpio will only come when he thinks its time.. so just wait patiently.. Hope it works out.. 🙂

Posted by Deena002
You have been so right David13, right after I posted this, he texted again. I called & he said that he wasn't getting any of my texts... True or not, I accepted his answer & once again, he had not returned a text in 4 days. The last I saw him, we celebrated the fact that I did not get laid off from work 🙂 he was very kind & supportive. I told him I bought him concert tickets for Oct. 25 (for his bday).
Fwd to today: I asked by text if I could visit him tonight & called. Got no answer. Ugh.
I deleted his number.

PLEASE don't answer the phone or text when he texts you back. I lol'd when I read you deleted his number. Gurl, I have been there! I know this is like games, and maybe you are not into games, but you either be a player or get out of the game. His non communication to you why he ignores your texts and phone calls is playing games. HEAD games, it's what they f'cking do. I love my scorpio and while the only scorpio placement I have is in 8th house, I just have to get justice for shit mine has pulled over the years. YOU really need to become inaccessible. He needs to come and find you, m'dear, that's the long and short of it. He needs to make an effort. When you FINALLY decide to answer his calls (or your door), offer NO explanation. Something like "hey babe, I've missed you! How've you been? Hey, could you look at the clog in my bathroom sink? "

Thanks for the advice everyone. My friend is already setting me up with another guy. I'll miss the scorpio guy, but maybe the new guy will be less exhausting!