Mother in law (Page 2)

Posted by Prince_Pisces
Fill all her alcohol with sleeping pills? If she drinks as much as you say she does, she'll be asleep like 24/7, and you wont have to listen to all her shit LOL!

Lol

Posted by LetltB

Posted by AbbyNormal

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by AbbyNormal

he needs to make her ass feel bad and cry seriously.

wow

You pretend not to be nasty very well.

i believe some people wont learn til they get their ass kicked once either. right now, thatd be my virgo bfs capricorn half bro whos now 18 and boy....
but thats neither here nor there...
im sorry that came across nasty, must be my own personal issues bleeding through as i am in an extremely stressful living condition myself. its just hard all around.
i am the type to let things go and let things go and let things go til...
ok you made me cry, how would it feel?
childish i know...
so usually i hide in the room 😉

Poor thing 😭 Get a sippy cup and suck on that while you are hiding.

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judge me all you want hunny but this is a legitimate feeling/concern for her, and her man. we all do our best with the hands we are dealt. and some of us are actually looking to wiser persons on here for advice and support.

Posted by Eris

Posted by FixedWater
I really feel for you, I was in a position similar to this many years ago. My ex-husband was terrified of his mother and never stood up to her in my defence. I spent years trying not to rock the boat but she always found something that she could pick on. The proverbial straw that broke the camels back were her comments the day I miscarried our child, Christmas Day some 20 years ago now.

Looking back on it my advice to you would be this: Don't come between him if he chooses to stand up to her whether she is an alcoholic, or not. You are setting ground rules right now and not understanding that these ground rules can have either negative or positive influences on your marriage and your family in future. Let them fight it out and allow him to do what he feels he needs to do.

I assume from what you've said that you have done little to deserve this behaviour from her and my advice is based on that information. If you are enticing her, or drawing her out while under her roof and her rules then you would need to question your behaviour... and make some changes.

Stay focused on getting a house and moving out of there as soon as is feasible. While it is important to save money and buy a house to start your life with it is also important that your health, the health of the baby, and the health of your marriage not suffer because of material desires. You have choices and options ... in the mean time, do your best to ignore her and her negative energy.

Good Luck and Congratulations!

Sorry for your loss! What a terrible situation.

Thank you 🙂

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+2 im really glad you are hearing from multiple good sources. as fiesty as i talk and feel at times, i really do hope all is resolved as peacefully as possible and that the relationship can be neutral at least until you all can get into your own place. things will hopefully mellow when everybody is not all up in her space. like i said it's hard on all counts. wishing you the best. be like water and keep your chin up :-)

Posted by Arielle83
I'm pretty sure a 30 year old woman has the ability to feel grateful for the roof over her head, but does not need to accept the ridicule that comes with it.

+100

Posted by Eris
Anyway ... You obviously only read part of it or ignored some of what I wrote, so I'm not even going to reply to you after this.

Of course you won't reply, because somewhere along life you decided to live by entitlement, which shows from the first post forward.
Let's see what I missed...

You got yourself pregnant and you cannot take care of yourselves, let alone a child. (is that her fault too?)

You move in with her and the first few weeks you go through what most women do ..morning sickness.

It's going on what? Three months now and your still laying around on your ass no job while he's out busting his ass only to come home to you whining about his mother and ungrateful for what she's helping you out with. Yet claim you are trying to keep the peace. If you had a job, you wouldn't have to suffer so greatly. (yea I'm being sarcastic) But boo hooing here is going to help that child right? One important note...you suggest she drinks at night. What does that have to do with you sitting on your ass all day? What business is it of yours what she does in her home?

Then you say you lived with her on a previous occasion and she was ok then....that was your first chance to get on your feet. Now you both show up with you being pregnant. It's not her job to cover careless mistakes like that, but she decides to help out and you sit here and bitch about that. MOVE...how about moving in with YOUR mother?

Then you show very, very clear confusion and attempt to suggest to us that YOU are the doormat. Really now? That doormat is in her home, she's a part of that doormat, now correct me if I'm wrong...didn't she open her door while you walked over HER doormat and offered a place to stay? Should she lay a red carpet out each time you decide to get your ass out of bed? Would that comfort you more? Ridiculous right? She's the doormat here..just so we are clear.

Then you decide you are going to whine to the father of this child (I'll assume you aren't married right?) and make him go after her. How grateful of you.

Then we have on page 3 another 30 year old in the same situation as you cheering on that^^^behavior which validates your entitlement issues, by suggesting you make this woman who is helping you, has a disorder to make her feel bad and make her cry. Real classy...

So tell me Eris...what is it that I missed? The sympathy train? How rude and nasty of me.

Drop the entitlement issues and get a job. You have a child to raise for the next 18 years.

Posted by AbbyNormal

judge me all you want hunny but this is a legitimate feeling/concern for her, and her man. we all do our best with the hands we are dealt. and some of us are actually looking to wiser persons on here for advice and support.

Glad a thread came about to validate your poor mishaps. Take those two hands and take what you are dealt with to work. If not, shut the hell up and be grateful someone is willing to help you. That is my advice and support, not a judgement. If anyone is judging here and has NO RIGHT TO ...it is you and the OP.

Posted by starlover

Posted by MoonArtist

Posted by Arielle83
I'm pretty sure a 30 year old woman has the ability to feel grateful for the roof over her head, but does not need to accept the ridicule that comes with it.

+100

+100

Just ignore the ridicule....some people get off on it

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Sometimes the truth just sucks...

OP, those are horrible things said to you.

But you both knew how she is before moving in with her.

Real life story. My husband's best friend had a choice to move into his parents or HER parents.

her parents were strict and no, theyre not alcoholic, but they were the type that you have to be downstairs for breakfast at a certain time, and after dinner cannot go to your room, but sit with them and talk and have dessert with them, watch tv with them.

It sounded like a military camp. They wouldn't have to pay any rent or anything, just be at a certain time at their dinner table or breakfast table, and there was a lack of privacy.

He said, hell the fuck no!!

He would rather pay rent on an apartment with his woman, than to live FREE with her parents, food and rent, for a year, before moving into a new home.

He said, he made enough money that he didn't have to put up with that crap. But if you two are tight and need to save for a place later, you have to make do with her personality and her rules.

Eris, the bottom line is that someone's house = their kingdom, with their rules and regulations.

Anything else falls secondary to that. Think long term here, this is the mother of the man you will have a child with..and you will have to interract with her in the future. Build a bridge between you and this woman, don't tear it down.

The only thing you'll accomplish if you choose to think short term is get a validation of feelings and feel like you won a battle that shouldn't exist. Choose the long term option, with taking the high road from conflict. You living there should be temporary and once you guys get your own place, all that troubles you are experiencing at this point will lose intensity, since most of the conflict will cease to exist because it's not linked to the place you live in anymore.

Be kind, cordial, and focus on the child for the remaining of the time.

Thanks for everyone's advice 🙂

Just so everyone knows we are not mooching off of her... We pay half of everything (including the mortgage).

We didn't need to bring up anything. When we got home yesterday they asked us to talk to them.

She started off by saying she doesn't think we clean the floors enough.

I asked her if that's where the comments have been coming from... She said it was. I said that's an immature way of dealing with it, and could she please just tell me right away if she wants something different than what is being done. She said, "yes". She tried to add in a bunch of other cleaning duties that she figured hadn't been done. We shot her down (including her husband)... Telling her exactly what I had been doing.

I will clean the floors every Wednesday. (Not just Sunday) Problem solved.

@Starlover ... We should be getting our place soon. We've revamped our plan a bit. 2 weeks to a month... We can do it 🙂

And yes, Damnata's advice is intelligent. There's been quite a few good points made.

Good points made by others as well*

It was nice to have different takes on the situation to read through.

Posted by starlover

..and sometimes it is appropriate to deliver ones message in a mature and eloquent manner...the thing is when you charge in like a hormonal teen, nobody listens so you may as well have ranted at the wall

What you see is what you get. You should know that by now. Here's a reminder. 😉

Posted by starlover
I gave up sugar but have found honey is a nice alternative 😉

I'm ecstatic for you. Carry on.

Posted by starlover
......and there are no SHOULDS in life....far too rigid .... 🙂

...and whining makes you a loser.

Posted by starlover
Awwwwww........love that. .....

It's sarcasm, honey and fake.

I knew you would.

Posted by starlover

Posted by Eris
@Starlover ... We should be getting our place soon. We've revamped our plan a bit. 2 weeks to a month... We can do it 🙂

And yes, Damnata's advice is intelligent. There's been quite a few good points made.

That is great to hear,. Good luck with your new home and baby. 🙂

Exciting!

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Thanks 😄

August 20th 😄

Posted by Infinite8

Posted by starlover

Posted by Eris
@Starlover ... We should be getting our place soon. We've revamped our plan a bit. 2 weeks to a month... We can do it 🙂

And yes, Damnata's advice is intelligent. There's been quite a few good points made.

That is great to hear,. Good luck with your new home and baby. 🙂

Exciting!

+1 yes, Damnata had concrete, sound advice and managed to do it without being insulting or rude. Great advice!

I just read the thread. Glad to hear you were able to clear some issues out with your MIL. I hope you get your home soon and don't worry about anything. Make sure your priority remains on feeling calm and loving. Energies you are giving to your baby for his/her well being.

How cute... You will have a cuddly baby cub _—!! Enjoy the process my dear 🙂

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Thank you, Infinite!