My husband and I don't click as of late (Page 2)

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PinkySagLove
@mzmee
19 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1480 · Topics: 46
Early this morning, he wasnt in the bed. I crept thru the house to find him in the basement on facetime with a woman. Listened to their conversation and to him pleasing himself to what ever she was doing.

I came in the basement and just simply said really.

He's been trying to talk but I don't wanna hear it.

Here it is I'm worried and he's doing this—

All this attitude from him coming my way...

I cant take this.
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PinkySagLove
@mzmee
19 Years1,000+ Posts

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What do I need to hear? He acted so indifferent towards me and now that he's caught, here comes the emotions I've been asking for.

I'm no dummy, I can clearly read between the lines. This was one of the reasons I told him I was scared of marriage. Giving your all and being made a fool of. I feel like such a fool. He assured me our marriage wouldn't be like that but our marriage is clearly like that.
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PinkySagLove
@mzmee
19 Years1,000+ Posts

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You right. I might. But now, I dont wanna see him.

Ive been registered to this board for some years, maybe a little over or close to 10. I'm a very private person and to come here for some advice meant I'm desperate. Especially about my marriage. Im asking how to make it work and he found another way. I'm sitting here exhausted, horny as fuck, body tired, wanting my husband and he's seeing someone else—

Like I said, I'm not perfect, he sees my everyday efforts, he plainly doesnt care. This mf will literally sit in the living room staring off into space and any conversation will be indifference on his part.

I'm so angry. The manipulation, the lies, who tf deserves this? I came to him on some real shit and spilled my heart to him, he basically showed me how much he gives a damn. The only time I got a response was this morning when I caught his ass.

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iCloud9
@iCloud9
10 Years1,000+ Posts

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what a lowlife. he started seeing this woman while you were pregnant? the ultimate betrayal. stop saying you are not perfect. his lack of character has nothing to do with how and who you are. the only thing you could have done better was to never tolerate bullshit from day 1.

consult a divorce attorney asap. protect your interest and the baby's. there is no need to be kind to the unkind. take good care yourself.
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piscespoppy
@piscespoppy
10 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 728 · Topics: 12
Tell him, talk!.. Blige, you obviously love and fancy each other, and wow! You have a beautiful little you together, share everything with him, love each other and enjoy your union with your baby,he will get used to you caring for the little one if you involve him as much as possible, its his child and you love him/her as much as him, just make him feel how wonderful you do about the future, he will come round, I wish you all the best, don't forget its all new for you both.. chill! X
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PinkySagLove
@mzmee
19 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1480 · Topics: 46
Posted by iCloud9
what a lowlife. he started seeing this woman while you were pregnant? the ultimate betrayal. stop saying you are not perfect. his lack of character has nothing to do with how and who you are. the only thing you could have done better was to never tolerate bullshit from day 1.

consult a divorce attorney asap. protect your interest and the baby's. there is no need to be kind to the unkind. take good care yourself.
Yep. I heard her ask if he can believe it will be a year in June. I was saying what I said because I know I have my quirks about me but not enough to get this shit of a treatment.

I'm not gonna jump the gun just yet. I need to plan this move very carefully. I dont wanna see his ass tho.

Thanks baby. I appreciate it.
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PinkySagLove
@mzmee
19 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1480 · Topics: 46
Posted by piscespoppy
Aww sweetie so sorry xx brought my son up on my own, would have loved to have had his dad involved, but not to be, he turned out to be a monster, buy that's life, not everyone is who you think they are..sadly. Bless you, love that lil person with all your heart, it will come back ten fold xx
Yep. Everyone is not who you think they are.

Thank you. My little boy is my joy.
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iCloud9
@iCloud9
10 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1931 · Topics: 2
Posted by mzmee
Posted by iCloud9
what a lowlife. he started seeing this woman while you were pregnant? the ultimate betrayal. stop saying you are not perfect. his lack of character has nothing to do with how and who you are. the only thing you could have done better was to never tolerate bullshit from day 1.

consult a divorce attorney asap. protect your interest and the baby's. there is no need to be kind to the unkind. take good care yourself.
Yep. I heard her ask if he can believe it will be a year in June. I was saying what I said because I know I have my quirks about me but not enough to get this shit of a treatment.

I'm not gonna jump the gun just yet. I need to plan this move very carefully. I dont wanna see his ass tho.

Thanks baby. I appreciate it.
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i admire your calmness and remaining cool. good for you and the baby. i was picturing the Texas Chain Saw behind him while he was enjoying the facetime 😐
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PinkySagLove
@mzmee
19 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1480 · Topics: 46
Posted by iCloud9
Posted by mzmee
Posted by iCloud9
what a lowlife. he started seeing this woman while you were pregnant? the ultimate betrayal. stop saying you are not perfect. his lack of character has nothing to do with how and who you are. the only thing you could have done better was to never tolerate bullshit from day 1.

consult a divorce attorney asap. protect your interest and the baby's. there is no need to be kind to the unkind. take good care yourself.
Yep. I heard her ask if he can believe it will be a year in June. I was saying what I said because I know I have my quirks about me but not enough to get this shit of a treatment.

I'm not gonna jump the gun just yet. I need to plan this move very carefully. I dont wanna see his ass tho.

Thanks baby. I appreciate it.
i admire your calmness and remaining cool. good for you and the baby. i was picturing the Texas Chain Saw behind him while he was enjoying the facetime 😐
click to expand

I refuse to make a fool of myself over his ass. I wanna buss his mf head, no lie, but ignoring his ass the way he ignored me gives me much more gratification.
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PinkySagLove
@mzmee
19 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1480 · Topics: 46
Posted by Foreverloveme
Posted by mzmee
Posted by Foreverloveme
I'm sorry to hear that, been there so I know it's difficult. I hope everything works out for your best interest whatever you decide, and take as much time as you need.
Im ready to explode. I cant handle this.

How did you manuever thru this? Any advice so my ass wont be in jail for rippin his head off.
In all honesty, I was young and naive so I can share my story no filter, but please only take the pertinent information...

You can't go to jail because you have a son to raise so please keep him in the forefront of your mind when those thoughts come up. Also living a happy and successful life is far more hurtful than any physical pain.

1st time we were within our 1st year of marriage and I was pregnant as well. From my understanding they never physically met, but I forgave him and stayed we worked/talked through it and moved on (This I would not recommend because in hindsight I could've cut losses sooner and moved on with my life rather than being hurt again)

Years later it continued happening in one form or another. When we seperated it took me surrounding myself with family and close friends as someone else mentioned, another guy (definitely don't recommend this), therapy sessions, books, positive music, alone time, nature, working out, etc.

I'm a private person to so I understand your post about the desperation, and being hesitant to marry because I felt the same way. No one deserves what happened and the pain it's caused, and I just don't want to see you get hurt again.

Maybe you could start looking for a way to pick up more hours or a full-time job and getting support from your family to babysit while you work. Just take it 1 day at a time, and know that time will heal all wounds. It can take a very long time, but I know you will get through this.
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I talked to my boss. Crazy thing, she said she's been wanting to ask about me moving to full time but knew I was fixed on my schedule being full time because of the baby.

My sister/friends have been supporting me so far. The way he did me, I cant see letting that happen again. We're adults, if there was a problem, he shouldve spoken up. Nope, he took the cowards way out. My time is too precious. Two people work on this marriage, if he feels all he has to do is show up, wrong gal.

Thank you love. Im listening.
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Scenic
@Scenic
13 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 273 · Posts: 5457 · Topics: 33
: (

Sorry to hear. Even if you wanted it to work out, the situation does not make it seem likely. Not even a baby could make him want to stay committed. Nor your efforts to try to spend more time with him. It sounds like all his feelings for you were gone in that moment since you'd expect him to be at least a little happy if he heard he'd be spending some alone time with you.

Figure out what you need to do. Just be careful down the line if he has visiting rights. If he tried to manipulate you, he could also manipulate your son in to hating you. Children are much more gullible. Sad reality for some. Good luck
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PinkySagLove
@mzmee
19 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1480 · Topics: 46
Posted by starlover
Posted by mzmee
Hey boo.

Thank you. It is sad. Im so angry and hurt. He won't stop texting me and it's making me angrier. My coworker said he showed up at my job but I left early today.

This is what confuses me. He checks out of the marriage, I'm wondering why, asking why, noticing the wedge.
He gets caught, now all of a sudden he wants me.

Who does this shit? Seriously?!?!
Quite a few men do

I have heard them say they love their wives and the other woman is just sex.....it doesn't mean anything 😕

What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Fecking idiots
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The way he did me doesn't sound.like sex. I heard him say to her he loves her too. Celebrating a 1 year side fling.

Maybe if it was just sex I wouldnt be so mad. I dont know. He could've been fucking the whole time and made me feel like he was at least still interestedin me.

Nah.

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PinkySagLove
@mzmee
19 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1480 · Topics: 46
Posted by Arielle83
Meet a sexy man friend and get him to hook up with the other chick.

How long U been with ur dude?

U need to prove she's an opportunist. Did she know u were pregnant?
She knew I was pregnant, we were married, she knew it all.

He opened the door for this butter. He made it okay for her, not her.

She might just be an opportunist. But this butter still fall on him.

We've been married 2 years, together 6.

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PinkySagLove
@mzmee
19 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1480 · Topics: 46
Posted by EnochtheWise
Posted by mzmee
It can. Most folks won't understand this pain until it's done to them. I could do him like he did me but walking away seems like the more viable option.
I don't know how you could do otherwise. I could never trust that person again and my attraction to them would completely dissipate. The baby complicates things but obviously this guy is not mature enough to raise a child within the context of a family. He basically sold his family out for this fling. Ask him if the Leo girl was worth the years of his child's life he'll miss out on now.
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I asked him if she's worth it. He couldn't say a word. I just hung up. I can't stomach talking to him. He spews bullshit constantly and I cant take it.