@VenusStar
15 Years1,000+ Posts
How does one change? I need to change.
How Can I Make Meaningful Changes in My Life
Personal change begins with self-awareness and setting clear goals. Taking small, consistent steps and embracing new experiences can lead to significant transformation over time. Understanding your motivations and seeking support can also facilitate lasting change.
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Triggered by the end of the year and goals and...
Ive been insolation for years and i dont want to become a bitter Betty.
I.e. an old lady who hate everyone who is happy because her life turned out so horrible.
Really you just do it. When I quit smoking I just did it. Same with drinking. When I got overweight I started working out more. Change is so simple yet hard at the same time. You have to make your mind feel that this change is a task that has to be done at all cost no matter how much you dislike the process of change. It doesn't need to be done, nor is it just an idea that can be done. It absolutely has to be done. That's the best mindset for change, at least for myself. You literally just do it and don't stop.
Start small.
Begin to do things differently... even the littlest, seemingly insignificant things.
Drive a different route than you normally would.
Switch up your routine.
Start breaking up the patterns you've already formed (we all have them).
Have you had any luck with the employment agencies?
You have to keep after them... 🙂
Posted by VenusStar
Ive been insolation for years and i dont want to become a bitter Betty.I.e. an old lady who hate everyone who is happy because her life turned out so horrible.
I want to change everything. My thinking, fear and anxiety to try anything new (even normal things that others do put me on edge). Go to school and choose a completely different career lose weight.
My problem is when i start to "change" it will go for a while 30 days until i hit a wall that requires me to make a decision that requires me to step outside my comfort zone and family responsibilities.
Posted by VenusStar
Ive been insolation for years and i dont want to become a bitter Betty.I.e. an old lady who hate everyone who is happy because her life turned out so horrible.
click to expand
lol.. Im sure shes happy on the inside. That face is to keep away pick pockets.
Posted by Se7en
Do you have anything you used to be passionate about before you went into isolation?
Ironically self improvement and money.
If youre wondering what kind of change think " my big fat greek wedding"
Posted by VenusStar
I want to change everything. My thinking, fear and anxiety to try anything new (even normal things that others do put me on edge). Go to school and choose a completely different career lose weight.My problem is when i start to "change" it will go for a while 30 days until i hit a wall that requires me to make a decision that requires me to step outside my comfort zone and family responsibilities.
Change comes from execution. It's not enough to only have a plan, but it's a beginning point.
Start off small, simple, and give yourself deadlines. In the business world it's known as SMART objectives, but can be applied to self. Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant/Realistic, Time bound. Example. You mention losing weight, but ask yourself what you need to do and be specific about it. First, aim for a short term goal. Say your short term goal is you wish to lose 20 pounds by your next birthday. Well, one SMART objective is to workout. But say you don't have access to a gym. Then youtube videos of alternatives to working out at home. Which would lead you to develop a task-'Workout (do 1 set of push-ups, 1 set of crunches, 1 set of squats, etc.) 30 mins. A day for one week.' And from there you'd expand-increase it to an hour and then when you start noticing slight pound decreases, you can then focus on losing a set amount of pounds per month.
The key is to stick to what you propose and believe in it. The challenge is your will-power. Secondly, maintain positivity. The more you tell yourself you 'can't do it' the more you'll believe in it. Thirdly, share your goals with friends, family, people. Their support multiplies your determination to completion. I'm not a social butterfly, but I was able to take on adventurous opportunities because of this mentality. I hope this helps ?
It all starts in the mind .. The mind is everything hunnie ?
Posted by SofiaV87
It all starts in the mind .. The mind is everything hunnie ?
I understand that. Its also a matter of finding a job. My family is putting pressure on me to find a job because they have other things that they would like to do and they expect to leave me behind to take care of an ailing parent. Hence no life.
Posted by andstill
slim down and find a pretty person job boom instachangehope you have a great holiday season VS
Lol cool haircut. What do you do for money?
Posted by SofiaV87
It all starts in the mind .. The mind is everything hunnie ?I understand that. Its also a matter of finding a job. My family is putting pressure on me to find a job because they have other things that they would like to do and they expect to leave me behind to take care of an ailing parent. Hence no life.
click to expand
I'm sorry to hear that. I hope it all works out for u in the end ?
Posted by SofiaV87
It all starts in the mind .. The mind is everything hunnie ?I understand that. Its also a matter of finding a job. My family is putting pressure on me to find a job because they have other things that they would like to do and they expect to leave me behind to take care of an ailing parent. Hence no life.
I'm sorry to hear that. I hope it all works out for u in the end ?
click to expand
Thanks. Praying.
Posted by andstill
slim down and find a pretty person job boom instachangehope you have a great holiday season VS
Lol cool haircut. What do you do for money?
click to expandrecently or throughout my life?
recently real estate investments but i got the money for those somewhere else
my 1st career was in sports 😐
This popped up on my Facebook feed. Might help?
Posted by jeane
This popped up on my Facebook feed. Might help?
Thanka jeane. Today ive made the decision to stop complaining and get unstuck.
Posted by KungfuPanda
Change comes from following your heart. Its like an internal compass.Never stop dreaming.
Thanks. But for me its not about dreams but about action.
Posted by jeane
This popped up on my Facebook feed. Might help?Thanka jeane. Today ive made the decision to stop complaining and get unstuck.
click to expand
Good luck. I genuinely wish you only the very best in your endeavours. I think I can confidently say we all have confidence in you to get and live the life you dream of.
My life has been lived for other people I have nothing to show for it.
I feel awful and alone. Cant stop crying. Like have no other choices in life.
Hm what are your choices right now?
Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
Hm what are your choices right now?
Live with mystery parents and go abck to school whole broke.
Posted by VenusStar
My life has been lived for other people I have nothing to show for it.
Posted by VenusStar
I feel awful and alone. Cant stop crying. Like have no other choices in life.click to expand
Change your scenery. A move does wonders for a lot of people. Maybe you need this?
Posted by VenusStar
I feel awful and alone. Cant stop crying. Like have no other choices in life.What has helped me is remembering that
life ... time keeps ticking.
New opportunities come. Be in this
now (maybe this funk) but things
always change. Hard to see
sometimes though. Hugs*
click to expand
i feel like my life has alwys been in a funk what ipsets me is yhat i thiught ny 32 i would be married with one kid or at . least living on my own with money and ? one to care for but myself. But i find in the last four years i lost my income, savings,401k, my good credit, the respect of my family and my hope and prospect of love (despite being a taurus i dont attract men ever inless they are over 60 or im their nlast resort)
All i qialify for wiyh my skills is for my last or data entry work at the poverty level.
Posted by VenusStar
My life has been lived for other people I have nothing to show for it.Posted by VenusStar
I feel awful and alone. Cant stop crying. Like have no other choices in life.Change your scenery. A move does wonders for a lot of people. Maybe you need this?
click to expand
Cant unless i kidnapp my parent and move. Thats why im upset. Im not focused and didnt do anyone svhooling in the last few years and broke.
My sibling who jelped mebtake carebof parent are moving soon and im still in my childhood home rotting.
Posted by tiziani
That sounds very traumatic :\As in, maybe you have to let a couple of days slide and let it all out of your system.
How so ? Scream alittle.
I think you don't have several problems.
All your problems can be summed up to just one problem can't they?
Posted by hydorah
I think you don't have several problems.All your problems can be summed up to just one problem can't they?
Whats that?
Posted by VenusStar
I feel awful and alone. Cant stop crying. Like have no other choices in life.What has helped me is remembering that
life ... time keeps ticking.
New opportunities come. Be in this
now (maybe this funk) but things
always change. Hard to see
sometimes though. Hugs*
i feel like my life has alwys been in a funk what ipsets me is yhat i thiught ny 32 i would be married with one kid or at . least living on my own with money and ? one to care for but myself. But i find in the last four years i lost my income, savings,401k, my good credit, the respect of my family and my hope and prospect of love (despite being a taurus i dont attract men ever inless they are over 60 or im their nlast resort)
All i qialify for wiyh my skills is for my last or data entry work at the poverty level.
click to expand
when i find i am like this, i find i need a plan.
first work out what is your biggest problem?
sounds like it is money.
so you have two options; get a job or get an education while doing a job which will get you where you need to be. if you can't afford an education, get a student loan. if you are on minimum wage, do it until you can find something better paid. just start moving.
when you get a job, you can get a place.
by the time you get a place, you'll be confident.
when you're confident, you'll get a partner.
don't put yourself in a race on an imaginary timeline. our lives are our lives. they don't always work out like we imagined. sometimes that is a good thing! sometimes we limit ourselves by our thinking.
at 32, i felt behind the curve as well. all my friends were married with children and mortgages with stunning careers. i was temping, living off credit cards, single (very single), i couldn't afford a car. i was renting in a shitty house with no heating, i had fallen out with my family and most of my friends and living in a city where i knew no one. i tried to foster a cat but i found i was allergic. even that didn't work out.
things change. things will change for you too but you need to start and once you start, you need to keep going. you have choices. there are always choices.
Posted by VenusStar
I feel awful and alone. Cant stop crying. Like have no other choices in life.What has helped me is remembering that
life ... time keeps ticking.
New opportunities come. Be in this
now (maybe this funk) but things
always change. Hard to see
sometimes though. Hugs*
i feel like my life has alwys been in a funk what ipsets me is yhat i thiught ny 32 i would be married with one kid or at . least living on my own with money and ? one to care for but myself. But i find in the last four years i lost my income, savings,401k, my good credit, the respect of my family and my hope and prospect of love (despite being a taurus i dont attract men ever inless they are over 60 or im their nlast resort)
All i qialify for wiyh my skills is for my last or data entry work at the poverty level.
when i find i am like this, i find i need a plan.
first work out what is your biggest problem?
sounds like it is money.
so you have two options; get a job or get an education while doing a job which will get you where you need to be. if you can't afford an education, get a student loan. if you are on minimum wage, do it until you can find something better paid. just start moving.
when you get a job, you can get a place.
by the time you get a place, you'll be confident.
when you're confident, you'll get a partner.
don't put yourself in a race on an imaginary timeline. our lives are our lives. they don't always work out like we imagined. sometimes that is a good thing! sometimes we limit ourselves by our thinking.
at 32, i felt behind the curve as well. all my friends were married with children and mortgages with stunning careers. i was temping, living off credit cards, single (very single), i couldn't afford a car. i was renting in a shitty house with no heating, i had fallen out with my family and most of my friends and living in a city where i knew no one. i tried to foster a cat but i found i was allergic. even that didn't work out.
things change. things will change for you too but you need to start and once you start, you need to keep going. you have choices. there are always choices.
click to expand
(tears) your story sound similiar to mine and feels good to have some who was in the same situation make it out. There's hope.
Posted by VenusStar
I feel awful and alone. Cant stop crying. Like have no other choices in life.What has helped me is remembering that
life ... time keeps ticking.
New opportunities come. Be in this
now (maybe this funk) but things
always change. Hard to see
sometimes though. Hugs*
i feel like my life has alwys been in a funk what ipsets me is yhat i thiught ny 32 i would be married with one kid or at . least living on my own with money and ? one to care for but myself. But i find in the last four years i lost my income, savings,401k, my good credit, the respect of my family and my hope and prospect of love (despite being a taurus i dont attract men ever inless they are over 60 or im their nlast resort)
All i qialify for wiyh my skills is for my last or data entry work at the poverty level.
I understand.
Believe me I do.
You...
One medicine we must give ourselves
in something like this is to forgive where
we are. Its about you ~ not others thoughts
of you. Its your your your story. Not theirs.
You do the best you can with what you
"Know" and what you have.
We can all struggle with this. Accepting.
I struggle with this at times. But..
In the mean time, maybe working on
your subconscious. Maybe look into
Your subconscious?
Look at and change beliefs that
don't serve you to start reflect what you want.
click to expand
yeah i do feel like other judge me. I still ashamed to tell people how long i wss without a job.
How do you worn on hour subconcious?
Posted by TheCanBull
Change requires thought and action.My Taurus influences make me slow to change but it's a steady process.
Its hard for me to change even when im on the wrong course.
Posted by TheCanBull
Change requires thought and action.My Taurus influences make me slow to change but it's a steady process.
Its hard for me to change even when im on the wrong course.
Posted by VenusStar
I feel awful and alone. Cant stop crying. Like have no other choices in life.What has helped me is remembering that
life ... time keeps ticking.
New opportunities come. Be in this
now (maybe this funk) but things
always change. Hard to see
sometimes though. Hugs*
i feel like my life has alwys been in a funk what ipsets me is yhat i thiught ny 32 i would be married with one kid or at . least living on my own with money and ? one to care for but myself. But i find in the last four years i lost my income, savings,401k, my good credit, the respect of my family and my hope and prospect of love (despite being a taurus i dont attract men ever inless they are over 60 or im their nlast resort)
All i qialify for wiyh my skills is for my last or data entry work at the poverty level.
I understand.
Believe me I do.
You...
One medicine we must give ourselves
in something like this is to forgive where
we are. Its about you ~ not others thoughts
of you. Its your your your story. Not theirs.
You do the best you can with what you
"Know" and what you have.
We can all struggle with this. Accepting.
I struggle with this at times. But..
In the mean time, maybe working on
your subconscious. Maybe look into
Your subconscious?
Look at and change beliefs that
don't serve you to start reflect what you want.
yeah i do feel like other judge me. I still ashamed to tell people how long i wss without a job.
How do you worn on hour subconcious?
Well in short....
It's like when we are children,
We are open to sucking things
in. We suck in the language,
the beliefs, everything around us.
Even challenges that our guardians
had around us when our ego was
not yet molded can be one with us.
That's why we can attach ourselves
with parents view of the world, how
to go about the world etc etc.
If they were depressed..
If they were abusive...
We attach. But..
When you sleep...
When you meditate... or
Even when you are not paying
attention, things can go in again
like when you were a child/ subconscious
and through repetive work can
attach new beliefs. You are then
'Open' again like a baby or animals.nature.
Some would say when you change
the core, you change everything.
click to expand
Sounds exactly what i need. Get rid of baggage
Waiting on your links thx.
Posted by VenusStar
(tears) your story sound similiar to mine and feels good to have some who was in the same situation make it out. There's hope.
there's lots of hope! my life hasn't worked out they way i thought it would but you know, that's ok.
the older you get, the less you care about what other people think and honestly, most people are too caught up in their own problems to give the state of your life much thought. for those that do, well,what does that say about the lack of credit in their own sorry tale.
i realised early on that every hurdle and obstacle i've had (we all have) make us who we are. i've had some very dark days in my life but they all taught me valuable lessons which brings me to my present. and yes, i still have problems but those problems and overcoming them will eventually lead me to a place that i hope will bring me contentment.
all these troubles you are having now will make you stronger, more determined, wiser and more resourceful. in 10 years you are going to look back and be grateful for this time now.
Posted by VenusStar
(tears) your story sound similiar to mine and feels good to have some who was in the same situation make it out. There's hope.there's lots of hope! my life hasn't worked out they way i thought it would but you know, that's ok.
the older you get, the less you care about what other people think and honestly, most people are too caught up in their own problems to give the state of your life much thought. for those that do, well,what does that say about the lack of credit in their own sorry tale.
i realised early on that every hurdle and obstacle i've had (we all have) make us who we are. i've had some very dark days in my life but they all taught me valuable lessons which brings me to my present. and yes, i still have problems but those problems and overcoming them will eventually lead me to a place that i hope will bring me contentment.
all these troubles you are having now will make you stronger, more determined, wiser and more resourceful. in 10 years you are going to look back and be grateful for this time now.
click to expand
I hope so. I want to be greatful in a "ill never let my life wnd up like that again"
I am willing to responsibility for some bad choices ,habits and not chanhing course when a situation did not work out.
@VenusStar, don't be so hard are yourself. Everyone hits lows, we have all been there, it's all about getting back up. It is not hopeless, things will get better. You just have to sort it out in your head. Imagine where you want to be in one year and then make a plan to get there. Every step, no matter how small, is a step in the right direction.
If you don't mind me asking, where abouts do you live?
Can totally relate!
You've gotten some wonderful advice based on experience in this thread and I loved reading the contributions ??
All I can sayeh is you've definitely taken the first steps already!
The key part is no time like the PRESENT to get started ??
I wish you luck and right there with you too, change is gloriously scary but within our grasp ~onward and upward my dear~
Posted by wagtail
Can totally relate!You've gotten some wonderful advice based on experience in this thread and I loved reading the contributions ??
All I can sayeh is you've definitely taken the first steps already!
The key part is no time like the PRESENT to get started ??
I wish you luck and right there with you too, change is gloriously scary but within our grasp ~onward and upward my dear~
Thanks . love your avatar.
Posted by Deedee86
@VenusStar, don't be so hard are yourself. Everyone hits lows, we have all been there, it's all about getting back up. It is not hopeless, things will get better. You just have to sort it out in your head. Imagine where you want to be in one year and then make a plan to get there. Every step, no matter how small, is a step in the right direction.If you don't mind me asking, where abouts do you live?
Thanks DeeDee
Put your thoughts into action.
Think positive, and block all negative thinking.
===
I changed my life few months ago.
I dropped 15kg weight.
I got back to practising Martial Art to keep fit.
I dropped sugar, including Coca cola and or other sugary stuffs.
I watched a lot of movies that I did not have time for previously.
I re-joined facebook and started posting my evolution and people/friends liked and boosted me.
Cycling 15-30 km per day helped.
I am still alone, and I still feel sad internally whenever I feel like going out because that life I left 16 yrs ago.
Hard to convince my brain that it won't be as bad as I think. But again I know for fact that I just need to do it once and get over it. Rest will be just a repeat and rewind.
Okay live with parents or be broke while school. I was doing both for a while. And guess what I was such in a hurry to study hard and pass, make sure to get another job, have the money, and move out as fast as I could. You can do it. Good luck.
Posted by LeoSunPiscesMoon
Put your thoughts into action.Think positive, and block all negative thinking.
===
I changed my life few months ago.
I dropped 15kg weight.
I got back to practising Martial Art to keep fit.
I dropped sugar, including Coca cola and or other sugary stuffs.
I watched a lot of movies that I did not have time for previously.
I re-joined facebook and started posting my evolution and people/friends liked and boosted me.
Cycling 15-30 km per day helped.
I am still alone, and I still feel sad internally whenever I feel like going out because that life I left 16 yrs ago.
Hard to convince my brain that it won't be as bad as I think. But again I know for fact that I just need to do it once and get over it. Rest will be just a repeat and rewind.
Its encouraging to read about the changes youve made in your life. It couldnt have been easy. What other changes arevyou looking forward to next year?
Posted by Seraphlight
Your life is gonna be great!
I want it to be. One of my goals is to be the person i want to be and thst does include putting my interest first.
Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
Okay live with parents or be broke while school. I was doing both for a while. And guess what I was such in a hurry to study hard and pass, make sure to get another job, have the money, and move out as fast as I could. You can do it. Good luck.
Dont have mych of a choice. Im broke. So while im here ill have to do that and go back to school and do something else.
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Go traveling overseas if you afford to.
Cant right now but i will make a point to travel as often as i can even if i have to do it solo.
Well I am so impressed with your life style changes. I really admire that! Martial arts sounds interesting. You sound interesting you won't be alone for long. And learning to 'feel' new and different ..it will come ..Happy Christmas. You'll have a great new year :-)
I had to punish myself for making a Scorpio go silent on me.
She won't tell me why 😢 No reply to emails and bard me from visiting her, blocked me on fb. 😢
I have grown spiritually as well.
Every time I go cycling or walking, I reach my destination before turning back home no matter what.
That includes marching on through freezing rain, high wind, etc.
Tell you one of that day when I kept going even when it was raining hard and temperature was freezing. I just told myself that I must complete what I set out to achieve. That was my fire. Hands were numb, could not feel my toes, clothes all wet, but kept going.
And know what?? the sun decided to show up at my destination and I knew I passed my test. And I also learned that this as a lesson which I need to apply in all aspects of my life.
And also, when I was just about to return back, there was a rainbow. It was so magical, it lasted just few seconds.
Thank you for your lovely comment. I am waiting for her return. I know she will. Don't ask me how, I just know. 🙂
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I need to change.
My life has been boring with no real accomplishments or changes or great things.