tresdynamiques
@tresdynamiques
8 YearsCancer
Comments: 0 · Posts: 32 · Topics: 7
Please tell me I'm not an idiot!
Posted by tresdynamiquesElaborate.
*My greatest fear is that due to his physical nature, he won't be able to sustain the relationship long-distance, but based on what I know of Taurus individuals, he has already made up his mind and opened his heart to me and as far as he's concerned, we are a done deal together...
I can't give you astrological advice because you have the Taurus description down to a "T."
I can't tone down your anxieties or insecurities about your relationship by reassuring you of this Taurus man's intentions. This will not assist you as well.
In your eyes, this Taurus man will never be "good enough."
Any advice that you're given here will not be "good enough."
Perhaps, take some time off from dating and speak with a relationship therapist.
Mentally and emotionally, you're not ready to be committed to someone.
This Taurus man will most certainly get the 'sh**ty' end of the stick if you choose not to seek therapy.
You're in the initial honeymoon phase with a wonderful man, and he's already deemed a 'shady suspect' for trying to get his life in order.
Consider this constructive criticism. Don't take it too personal.
I wouldn't advise this if I didn't feel this Taurus man was worth it.
Think of how better your relationship would be with your Taurus if you threw caution to the wind and followed your heart.
I can't tone down your anxieties or insecurities about your relationship by reassuring you of this Taurus man's intentions. This will not assist you as well.
In your eyes, this Taurus man will never be "good enough."
Any advice that you're given here will not be "good enough."
Perhaps, take some time off from dating and speak with a relationship therapist.
Mentally and emotionally, you're not ready to be committed to someone.
This Taurus man will most certainly get the 'sh**ty' end of the stick if you choose not to seek therapy.
You're in the initial honeymoon phase with a wonderful man, and he's already deemed a 'shady suspect' for trying to get his life in order.
Consider this constructive criticism. Don't take it too personal.
I wouldn't advise this if I didn't feel this Taurus man was worth it.
Think of how better your relationship would be with your Taurus if you threw caution to the wind and followed your heart.
Posted by julietteeThanks...😉Posted by TaurusBull1977Posted by tresdynamiquesElaborate.
*My greatest fear is that due to his physical nature, he won't be able to sustain the relationship long-distance, but based on what I know of Taurus individuals, he has already made up his mind and opened his heart to me and as far as he's concerned, we are a done deal together...
sex
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Posted by tresdynamiquesI've a Taurus moon. I'm not attributing this to any placements but I relate to that. That above☝️ is the reason I keep leaving people. I mean I'm always there for you n stuff but when I'm ghosting, I clearly need space. When I'm struggling n don't wanna be around someone, just let me be. I need no help. I'm not waiting for anyone to understand me. All I need is a me time sometimes n ppl try messing with that. That's suffocating.Maybe he's someone like me.The way you said you need him even when he's struggling sounds a tad selfish.
while still occasionally reminding him how I loved him and I would be here when he was ready, and sure enough, he came back like he always does.
*How can I breach the "ghosting" topic in a way that will help him understand that I still need him even when he's struggling himself (and that I'm always there for him) without making him feel pressured? How true is the Taurean "stubbornness" in terms of making and keeping a long-term commitment?
I want to understand him and give him everything he needs,
You not an idiot just insecure as most of us are not just cancers people in general... The main thing I have notice about Taurus that I love about them is they say and do things at face value... He has no other motive... He loves you. That's all. If he says he will be committed to you he will thats all. I know its hard to believe being a cancer we express our love in subtle gentle ways... The uncomplicated bull doesn't do this... They are very straight foward... Try to relax.. If you want to do what's best for your bull.. Let him know you love him and are thinking of him often.. Try to visit often.. There are no guarantees in love... You just have to do it with all of your heart
Posted by julietteeMakes sense as she mentioned she's terribly insecure.Posted by TeenaPosted by tresdynamiquesI've a Taurus moon. I'm not attributing this to any placements but I relate to that. That above☝️ is the reason I keep leaving people. I mean I'm always there for you n stuff but when I'm ghosting, I clearly need space. When I'm struggling n don't wanna be around someone, just let me be. I need no help. I'm not waiting for anyone to understand me. All I need is a me time sometimes n ppl try messing with that. That's suffocating.Maybe he's someone like me.The way you said you need him even when he's struggling sounds a tad selfish.
while still occasionally reminding him how I loved him and I would be here when he was ready, and sure enough, he came back like he always does.
*How can I breach the "ghosting" topic in a way that will help him understand that I still need him even when he's struggling himself (and that I'm always there for him) without making him feel pressured? How true is the Taurean "stubbornness" in terms of making and keeping a long-term commitment?
I want to understand him and give him everything he needs,
she just needs clear confirmation that it is indeed his need for space, and not something else like pursuing other chicks. when a cancer is sure, she can give him all the space he wants.
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Posted by tizianiLol! I realized this lately Tiz. Remember the Cap guy on whom I disappeared..the one who gave me the mug? That guy made efforts n contacted me recently. He didn't ask me any questions..no drama. He was just genuinely interested in knowing how I'm doing currently n the conversation flowed so smoothly. It felt so so good. Felt like that's what I've been waiting all my life for. Firstly ppl don't understand someone's need for space n when the person is back they need answers(that after being clearly told that I just need some time away before n after). I really don't have problem answering the questions. The thing is, they expect dramatic answers. Truth for them is too simple to buy. And then I feel this need to lie to shut them up n make them feel better.Posted by Teenaquote of the day.
I'm not waiting for anyone to understand me.
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"I just wanted some time away"
"You lying..you don't consider me your friend, I wanna love you"
"Yes, my life was in shambles"
"Aww...hugs .. that's ..blah blah blah"? or "ugh all this time I thought it's me.. (I mean I'm important right)?"
But wait.. promise me you'll never leave me again
*Crickets*
Oh wait..the best part is..when they think it's all mind games?
Posted by tizianiThey actually asked you to say that—?Posted by TeenaLol to be fair I have said "say you'll never leave me" to someone after they asked me to tell them the same many times before.Posted by tizianiLol! I realized this lately Tiz. Remember the Cap guy on whom I disappeared..the one who gave me the mug? That guy made efforts n contacted me recently. He didn't ask me any questions..no drama. He was just genuinely interested in knowing how I'm doing currently n the conversation flowed so smoothly. It felt so so good. Felt like that's what I've been waiting all my life for. Firstly ppl don't understand someone's need for space n when the person is back they need answers(that after being clearly told that I just need some time away before n after). I really don't have problem answering the questions. The thing is, they expect dramatic answers. Truth for them is too simple to buy. And then I feel this need to lie to shut them up n make them feel better.Posted by Teenaquote of the day.
I'm not waiting for anyone to understand me.
"I just wanted some time away"
"You lying..you don't consider me your friend, I wanna love you"
"Yes, my life was in shambles"
"Aww...hugs .. that's ..blah blah blah"? or "ugh all this time I thought it's me.. (I mean I'm important right)?"
But wait.. promise me you'll never leave me again
*Crickets*
But I understand what you are getting at yes.
My thing is if people want to be there for me, that's sincerely appreciated honestly. But bring me food.click to expand
Lol! I don't think I ever asked someone that.. but I did give that promise to someone (more story there... I usually never) n broke it?
Hahaha. I don't know if you really are serious about the food part many times. Is the way to your heart really through your stomach? 😄
If I need someone, I'd be with them. I'm a simple person ?
Posted by tizianiWhy doesn't she explain it to you in Italy? ?Posted by Teenaquote of the day.
I'm not waiting for anyone to understand me.
click to expand
"Let him know you are thinking of him often." Thanks Doll, for this advice. I'm reading up on Taurus and although I am Piscean, y'all know I have a high self esteem and NOT insecure; no problems here. THAT'S what he senses (picks up from me). I, too, have informed him when we talk, "I've been thinking of you" Eva pats self on her back. 😆
🤗 Cyber hugs!
Love,
Eva
🤗 Cyber hugs!
Love,
Eva
Posted by GemitatiI'm gonna be with Tiz in Italy ❤️Posted by tizianiWhy doesn't she explain it to you in Italy? ?Posted by Teenaquote of the day.
I'm not waiting for anyone to understand me.
click to expand
Posted by TeenaImagine! Wow! 2 in 1!!! 🙂Posted by GemitatiI'm gonna be with Tiz in Italy ❤️Posted by tizianiWhy doesn't she explain it to you in Italy? ?Posted by Teenaquote of the day.
I'm not waiting for anyone to understand me.
click to expand
I was in a long distance relationship with a Capricorn for a year. I am very physical, but I loved him, and I was loyal to him the whole time. We eventually lived in the same city and married. Don't assume that just because he's a Taurus, he can't handle distance. Based on the things he's said to you, he does love you. We don't say things for attention or just because someone wants to hear them.
Be very careful and don't cling. I know you are in love, but understand his work situation and the fact that he is going through a divorce is a time and energy suck. As others have said, you need to have your own life and things in it besides this relationship. In the past, when men have become clingy, it was a complete turn off and I lost interest.
Be very careful and don't cling. I know you are in love, but understand his work situation and the fact that he is going through a divorce is a time and energy suck. As others have said, you need to have your own life and things in it besides this relationship. In the past, when men have become clingy, it was a complete turn off and I lost interest.
hysical aspect of the relationship. He's coming out of a marriage from a wife that cheated on him multiple times, as I am with my husband. I know that he is a physical person... when we're together, he's constantly touching me, petting on me, cuddling, making love, etc. I know that I can and will always wait for him... I just don't know if he will be able to if that physicality is in his nature.Posted by TaurusBull1977Posted by tresdynamiquesElaborate.
*My greatest fear is that due to his physical nature, he won't be able to sustain the relationship long-distance, but based on what I know of Taurus individuals, he has already made up his mind and opened his heart to me and as far as he's concerned, we are a done deal together...
click to expand
Posted by TeenaI'm not entirely sure how it's selfish that I need the man I love because I'm dealing with something alone that we should have been dealing with together. I've been very clear that I'm always here for him and want to understand so I can give him whatever it is that I need.Posted by tresdynamiquesI've a Taurus moon. I'm not attributing this to any placements but I relate to that. That above☝️ is the reason I keep leaving people. I mean I'm always there for you n stuff but when I'm ghosting, I clearly need space. When I'm struggling n don't wanna be around someone, just let me be. I need no help. I'm not waiting for anyone to understand me. All I need is a me time sometimes n ppl try messing with that. That's suffocating.Maybe he's someone like me.The way you said you need him even when he's struggling sounds a tad selfish.
while still occasionally reminding him how I loved him and I would be here when he was ready, and sure enough, he came back like he always does.
*How can I breach the "ghosting" topic in a way that will help him understand that I still need him even when he's struggling himself (and that I'm always there for him) without making him feel pressured? How true is the Taurean "stubbornness" in terms of making and keeping a long-term commitment?
I want to understand him and give him everything he needs,
click to expand
Posted by taurusgirl9000I don't want to assume at all, honestly... after we met, the way we interacted, I realized that I do trust him (which is both new and fascinating to me). It was really difficult to back off at first because I was dealing with the chem pregnancy alone while he was dealing with all of his own problems, and that's what hurt was going through it mostly alone. Once all that settled down and my hormones leveled out, it was much easier for me to stay calm and I have done exactly as you said. Unfortunately, an insecurity pops up here and there, but reminding myself that he's given me no reason to doubt him always tamps it right back down. The actual time spent together went a long way in reassuring me.
I was in a long distance relationship with a Capricorn for a year. I am very physical, but I loved him, and I was loyal to him the whole time. We eventually lived in the same city and married. Don't assume that just because he's a Taurus, he can't handle distance. Based on the things he's said to you, he does love you. We don't say things for attention or just because someone wants to hear them.
Be very careful and don't cling. I know you are in love, but understand his work situation and the fact that he is going through a divorce is a time and energy suck. As others have said, you need to have your own life and things in it besides this relationship. In the past, when men have become clingy, it was a complete turn off and I lost interest.
Thank you for your input!!
Posted by tizianiSorry I wasn't fast enough! The above answer is correct, but for detail's sake, I felt a little strange a few days after my Taurus and I had sex. This continued for a few weeks, and then it turned into horrible cramping and other unpleasant things. I had low HCG levels, but the ultrasound showed nothing, so they said while fertilization occurred, implantation did not. Allegedly, it's more of a "blip" in the cycle than an actual miscarriage, and usually it happens so fast you don't even know about it.Posted by Scorpio123Oh damn. Fair enough. Thank you for answering.Posted by tizianiChemical pregnancy is when you get a faint positive pregnancy test but miscarry right away, sometimes you don't even skip your period cause you lose it that fast.
Just out of curiosity, what is a chemical pregnancy?
I would answer your thread but everyone else has pretty much covered every angle you need.
click to expand
The catch was, after my chaotic first pregnancy, I recognized some of the feelings quickly and unfortunately, the hormones still came with it. It was much more depressing than I expected.
Posted by TaurusBull1977I appreciate your input, but please don't automatically think that I deem my Taurus OR the advice of the people in this forum as "not good enough". On the contrary, he is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I would not post this for a group of strangers to evaluate if I didn't genuinely want to hear what you all had to say.
I can't give you astrological advice because you have the Taurus description down to a "T."
I can't tone down your anxieties or insecurities about your relationship by reassuring you of this Taurus man's intentions. This will not assist you as well.
In your eyes, this Taurus man will never be "good enough."
Any advice that you're given here will not be "good enough."
Perhaps, take some time off from dating and speak with a relationship therapist.
Mentally and emotionally, you're not ready to be committed to someone.
This Taurus man will most certainly get the 'sh**ty' end of the stick if you choose not to seek therapy.
You're in the initial honeymoon phase with a wonderful man, and he's already deemed a 'shady suspect' for trying to get his life in order.
Consider this constructive criticism. Don't take it too personal.
I wouldn't advise this if I didn't feel this Taurus man was worth it.
Think of how better your relationship would be with your Taurus if you threw caution to the wind and followed your heart.
For whatever it's worth, I'm already in therapy. I'm also on anti-depressants. I started therapy a few months ago. I've come from a long line of relationships that have been damaging, and this is the first one in which I genuinely feel like I have no reason to distrust him, so I want to get over my insecurities for both our sakes. It's not that he's ever behaved like the "shady suspect" you mentioned... it's that this type of thing is all I know, so I've grown to expect it.
I agree completely that he's worth it, but I'm just not sure that any amount of therapy will ever completely quiet my fears. I will always be afraid of losing him, because I something that's worth holding on to.
Thank you for your response, either way!
Posted by julietteeI'm really confused... were you calling me an idiot? LOLPosted by TeenaPosted by tresdynamiquesI've a Taurus moon. I'm not attributing this to any placements but I relate to that. That above☝️ is the reason I keep leaving people. I mean I'm always there for you n stuff but when I'm ghosting, I clearly need space. When I'm struggling n don't wanna be around someone, just let me be. I need no help. I'm not waiting for anyone to understand me. All I need is a me time sometimes n ppl try messing with that. That's suffocating.Maybe he's someone like me.The way you said you need him even when he's struggling sounds a tad selfish.
while still occasionally reminding him how I loved him and I would be here when he was ready, and sure enough, he came back like he always does.
*How can I breach the "ghosting" topic in a way that will help him understand that I still need him even when he's struggling himself (and that I'm always there for him) without making him feel pressured? How true is the Taurean "stubbornness" in terms of making and keeping a long-term commitment?
I want to understand him and give him everything he needs,
she just needs clear confirmation that it is indeed his need for space, and not something else like pursuing other chicks. when a cancer is sure, she can give him all the space he wants.
click to expand
Anyway, what you've said above is it. That's exactly it. I can and always will give him whatever he needs that is within my power, but I just have a hard time with uncertainty. If I know and understand that space is just what he needs, and he tells me when he needs it, I have no doubts and I can give him that. If I have to just figure out the pattern or how it works over time, I can do that too, but I can't really help being a little nervous in the process if he won't give me much to go on.
Posted by tizianiNo problem! Honestly, I had NO IDEA it was even a thing until I went to the doctor. I almost wish I had never known.Posted by tresdynamiquesThank you for sharing. I had no idea about this.Posted by tizianiSorry I wasn't fast enough! The above answer is correct, but for detail's sake, I felt a little strange a few days after my Taurus and I had sex. This continued for a few weeks, and then it turned into horrible cramping and other unpleasant things. I had low HCG levels, but the ultrasound showed nothing, so they said while fertilization occurred, implantation did not. Allegedly, it's more of a "blip" in the cycle than an actual miscarriage, and usually it happens so fast you don't even know about it.Posted by Scorpio123Oh damn. Fair enough. Thank you for answering.Posted by tizianiChemical pregnancy is when you get a faint positive pregnancy test but miscarry right away, sometimes you don't even skip your period cause you lose it that fast.
Just out of curiosity, what is a chemical pregnancy?
I would answer your thread but everyone else has pretty much covered every angle you need.
The catch was, after my chaotic first pregnancy, I recognized some of the feelings quickly and unfortunately, the hormones still came with it. It was much more depressing than I expected.
click to expand
Posted by tresdynamiquesI hope that I didn't come off as insensitive, or apathetic to your situation.
I agree completely that he's worth it, but I'm just not sure that any amount of therapy will ever completely quiet my fears. I will always be afraid of losing him, because I something that's worth holding on to.
Thank you for your response, either way!
But you will have to change that thought process and negative way of thinking.
May I suggest CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) and may be some meditation.
From an astrological point of view,
Being a Taurus myself, I do require some space from my partner.
I may have my own problems to sort out, work, family, etc.
I deal with my problems internally, head on. I face the music alone. No accomplices.
When it's resolved, I reach out, and I am a lot more attentive.
To be honest with you, your Bull has handled that quite well.
Way better than I would have handled it to be honest.
He will be a great partner, loyal, loving, supportive and solid...but not an emotional babysitter.
Remember, he's not a Water sign.
Sometimes when we're overly consumed with negative thoughts, we indirectly speak it into existence.
This becomes expressed and shown through our actions and interactions with other people.
Unless you change that though process, you will 'jinx' it.
I wouldn't give you this advice if I didn't feel that you were a good person with clearly good intentions.
Sometimes you just have to move on 'faith.'
Good Luck.
Posted by TaurusBull1977No, not at all insensitive; I just wanted to make sure we understood each other! I appreciate your honesty more than I can say.Posted by tresdynamiquesI hope that I didn't come off as insensitive, or apathetic to your situation.
I agree completely that he's worth it, but I'm just not sure that any amount of therapy will ever completely quiet my fears. I will always be afraid of losing him, because I something that's worth holding on to.
Thank you for your response, either way!
But you will have to change that thought process and negative way of thinking.
May I suggest CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) and may be some meditation.
From an astrological point of view,
Being a Taurus myself, I do require some space from my partner.
I may have my own problems to sort out, work, family, etc.
I deal with my problems internally, head on. I face the music alone. No accomplices.
When it's resolved, I reach out, and I am a lot more attentive.
To be honest with you, your Bull has handled that quite well.
Way better than I would have handled it to be honest.
He will be a great partner, loyal, loving, supportive and solid...but not an emotional babysitter.
Remember, he's not a Water sign.
Sometimes when we're overly consumed with negative thoughts, we indirectly speak it into existence.
This becomes expressed and shown through our actions and interactions with other people.
Unless you change that though process, you will 'jinx' it.
I wouldn't give you this advice if I didn't feel that you were a good person with clearly good intentions.
Sometimes you just have to move on 'faith.'
Good Luck.
click to expand
I have thought about meditation and will look into it in more detail, as well as the CBT.
My confusion with my bull is that he has shown me so much of his tenderness and past pain that it's hard for me to reconcile that with the way he deals with the present (his son's grandmother dying, work pressure, social pressure, our distance, financial turmoil). I know I have come off as coddling and I have apologized for it and reassured him that I am proud of how hard he's working and that I believe in him always. I do understand his need to face his issues alone, but it's incredibly painful to me to watch him struggle no matter how much I trust him, because I feel his pain as my own.
He has indeed been incredible to me. He has been solid in the face of his own issues, and an absolute rock through mine (we were friends when I was still in an abusive relationship)... he always pushed me to lean on him and never shied away from my problems, claiming them as his own. I want to give that back to him, but I'm learning that he doesn't want or need that kind of support because he can handle it alone.
I appreciate your advice so much... I really do. His personality is a new one for me and I want to understand him and how to be the best I can for both of us. If there's anything he's taught me, it's patience and trust, and now I'm just working on putting that into daily practice.
Thank you again!!
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We met online and he pursued me hard, regardless of the fact that I tried to keep my wall up to keep him out (I am separated-pending-divorce, as is he) and regardless of his claim that he doesn't chase women that don't show interest. Eventually I fell in love with him and he made me say it first, his response to which was "oh thank GOD, now I can say it back". He has opened his heart to me numerous times... I've seen him cry many times, he's told me a lot of his darknesses, and he has been a strong, stable, steadfast support system for me. He handles my mood swings and insecurities like an absolute champ! He talks to my children, talks about the future all the time, calls me the love of his life and his soulmate. He's working through his divorce, moving up at work, and rebuilding his financial stability, but plans to move up here once he can get his life sorted out. There is absolutely no budging him sooner (I've tried!).
We met in person last month, and even though the weekend didn't go as planned, every moment we had together was perfect. I have never actually felt 100% loved with a man as I do with him. He was so warm, affectionate, loving, sensual and tender, and he made a concentrated effort to show me how beautiful I was.
As a Cancer, I am terribly insecure. He has never given me a reason not to trust him and has always reassured me in the face of my fears. But sometimes he gets distant (true to Taurus form) and will barely speak to me. Recently this was due to issues with family and work, but it scared the life out of me because it happened right after I came back from visiting him. I freaked out a little at first (made worse by the fact that I had a chemical pregnancy, to which his response was "well, if it happens it happens, and we'll get through anything"), and then eventually calmed down, backed off and focused on myself while still occasionally reminding him how I loved him and I would be here when he was ready, and sure enough, he came back like he always does.
*My greatest fear is that due to his physical nature, he won't be able to sustain the relationship long-distance, but based on what I know of Taurus individuals, he has already made up his mind and opened his heart to me and as far as he's concerned, we are a done deal together... just after a longer wait. Am I letting my own insecurities screw with my head? He fits every single aspect of the Taurean man to a "T", and I'm trying so hard to just trust him implicitly, but I've seen a lot of crap in my love life so it's hard. How can I breach the "ghosting" topic in a way that will help him understand that I still need him even when he's struggling himself (and that I'm always there for him) without making him feel pressured? How true is the Taurean "stubbornness" in terms of making and keeping a long-term commitment?
I want to understand him and give him everything he needs, because he's always done that for me and I have never felt so complete and "seen" by someone as I do with him.