MyStarsShine
@MyStarsShine
9 Years25,000+ Posts
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~ Saying No ~
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Posted by MyStarsShineI get your point; but you can't seriously compare roughness with brutality. That's taking way too far...
Over the years i learned that the men that had a preference to the rough stuff often had severe intimacy issues .... the rough stuff was often a defense mechanism. Do we really want a man that doesn't know how to truly connect and prefers to strangle than be sensual with us?
I am not talking about passion here, but brutality which often emanates from a somewhat damaged person
Posted by PalerioVery thin line for some people PalerioPosted by MyStarsShineI get your point; but you can't seriously compare roughness with brutality. That's taking way too far...
Over the years i learned that the men that had a preference to the rough stuff often had severe intimacy issues .... the rough stuff was often a defense mechanism. Do we really want a man that doesn't know how to truly connect and prefers to strangle than be sensual with us?
I am not talking about passion here, but brutality which often emanates from a somewhat damaged person
click to expand
Posted by NevermoreIt happens with quite a lot of women
I had difficulty time with my ex of not listening of me saying no. 😐
You have to stand your ground & be firm to say no.
When i was in my last relationship, i had a dream that he killed me. When i went for a shaman healing session the woman told me *he could kill you ~ not because he wants to but the passion could cross the line and things could get out of hand*
Passion can be brutal if you are not careful
Passion can be brutal if you are not careful
Posted by MyStarsShineVery thin for very few though; you're referring to rapists here. And when it comes to rapists you've just entered a whole new territory, it's not about pleasing your man anymore, which IMO was never the problem to begin with.Posted by PalerioVery thin line for some people PalerioPosted by MyStarsShineI get your point; but you can't seriously compare roughness with brutality. That's taking way too far...
Over the years i learned that the men that had a preference to the rough stuff often had severe intimacy issues .... the rough stuff was often a defense mechanism. Do we really want a man that doesn't know how to truly connect and prefers to strangle than be sensual with us?
I am not talking about passion here, but brutality which often emanates from a somewhat damaged person
click to expand
"...these young men often go on to emulate the action they have seen on the screen, thinking it is the norm."
I'm confused. What are these abominable actions you speak of that were supposedly unheard of in reality before we saw them on the screen? Hair pulling, spanking, roughhousing? Is it about positions? About anal-sex? Bc I can assure you it's all been done & documented in one form or another since the dawn of man.. What would be a vegan alternative to these unhealthy "norms" you speak off... let's hear it !
Not everyone sees sex as some sort of spiritual bonding journey. To some of us it's just a gratifying, physical act.
I'm confused. What are these abominable actions you speak of that were supposedly unheard of in reality before we saw them on the screen? Hair pulling, spanking, roughhousing? Is it about positions? About anal-sex? Bc I can assure you it's all been done & documented in one form or another since the dawn of man.. What would be a vegan alternative to these unhealthy "norms" you speak off... let's hear it !
Not everyone sees sex as some sort of spiritual bonding journey. To some of us it's just a gratifying, physical act.
Posted by enfant_terribleI was referring to unrealistic expectations......as in meeting a girl and expecting her to do anal, facials, spanking, strangling etc, whereas she may have a different idea of what is pleasurable
"...these young men often go on to emulate the action they have seen on the screen, thinking it is the norm."
I'm confused. What are these abominable actions you speak of that were supposedly unheard of in reality before we saw them on the screen? Hair pulling, spanking, roughhousing? Is it about positions? About anal-sex? Bc I can assure you it's all been done & documented in one form or another since the dawn of man.. What would be a vegan alternative to these unhealthy "norms" you speak off... let's hear it !
Not everyone sees sex as some sort of spiritual bonding journey. To some of us it's just a gratifying, physical act.
The younger guy i was with started slapping my breasts very hard, as in very painful hitting and i asked him what the hell he was doing....later on he tells me he didn't know how to have sex in a loving way.....so i showed him and explained about the porn industry
Posted by PalerioDepending on how the passionate the person is, the line can be very very thin.....believe mePosted by MyStarsShineVery thin for very few though; you're referring to rapists here. And when it comes to rapists you've just entered a whole new territory, it's not about pleasing your man anymore, which IMO was never the problem to begin with.Posted by PalerioVery thin line for some people PalerioPosted by MyStarsShineI get your point; but you can't seriously compare roughness with brutality. That's taking way too far...
Over the years i learned that the men that had a preference to the rough stuff often had severe intimacy issues .... the rough stuff was often a defense mechanism. Do we really want a man that doesn't know how to truly connect and prefers to strangle than be sensual with us?
I am not talking about passion here, but brutality which often emanates from a somewhat damaged person
click to expand
Posted by HareThat's even more brutal.Posted by enfant_terribleEggplant?
"...these young men often go on to emulate the action they have seen on the screen, thinking it is the norm."
I'm confused. What are these abominable actions you speak of that were supposedly unheard of in reality before we saw them on the screen? Hair pulling, spanking, roughhousing? Is it about positions? About anal-sex? Bc I can assure you it's all been done & documented in one form or another since the dawn of man.. What would be a vegan alternative to these unhealthy "norms" you speak off... let's hear it !
Not everyone sees sex as some sort of spiritual bonding journey. To some of us it's just a gratifying, physical act.
click to expand
@Feral_doe
Why did you hide your comment?
Why did you hide your comment?
Posted by HarePosted by PalerioBabaganoush facial?Posted by HareThat's even more brutal.Posted by enfant_terribleEggplant?
"...these young men often go on to emulate the action they have seen on the screen, thinking it is the norm."
I'm confused. What are these abominable actions you speak of that were supposedly unheard of in reality before we saw them on the screen? Hair pulling, spanking, roughhousing? Is it about positions? About anal-sex? Bc I can assure you it's all been done & documented in one form or another since the dawn of man.. What would be a vegan alternative to these unhealthy "norms" you speak off... let's hear it !
Not everyone sees sex as some sort of spiritual bonding journey. To some of us it's just a gratifying, physical act.
click to expand
Totally brutal 😛
Posted by HareYes, they do and some do things they really really don't like...that is the worry i have had with the stories i have been told Rabbit
Some people like to please their partners...even if it means doing something they don't necessarily like. It's actually a fairly common occurance amongst couples in healthy relationships.
Posted by MyStarsShineMost of the time that's actually encouraged by the girls since they've grown up with the same norms. Who am I to re-program them?Posted by enfant_terribleI was referring to unrealistic expectations......as in meeting a girl and expecting her to do anal, facials, spanking, strangling etc, whereas she may have a different idea of what is pleasurable
"...these young men often go on to emulate the action they have seen on the screen, thinking it is the norm."
I'm confused. What are these abominable actions you speak of that were supposedly unheard of in reality before we saw them on the screen? Hair pulling, spanking, roughhousing? Is it about positions? About anal-sex? Bc I can assure you it's all been done & documented in one form or another since the dawn of man.. What would be a vegan alternative to these unhealthy "norms" you speak off... let's hear it !
Not everyone sees sex as some sort of spiritual bonding journey. To some of us it's just a gratifying, physical act.
The younger guy i was with started slapping my breasts very hard, as in very painful hitting and i asked him what the hell he was doing....later on he tells me he didn't know how to have sex in a loving way.....so i showed him and explained about the porn industry
click to expand
I can imagine the generation gap in sex can be a problem bc you seem like the type who likes educating and "saving" young(er) boys.
That a kink of yours or some psychological fear-of-being-vulnerable hangup where you prefer to keep mentoring rather than engaging with someone your own age, experience and mental/emotional maturity?
Posted by enfant_terribleThree of my relationships were with older menPosted by MyStarsShineMost of the time that's actually encouraged by the girls since they've grown up with the same norms. Who am I to re-program them?Posted by enfant_terribleI was referring to unrealistic expectations......as in meeting a girl and expecting her to do anal, facials, spanking, strangling etc, whereas she may have a different idea of what is pleasurable
"...these young men often go on to emulate the action they have seen on the screen, thinking it is the norm."
I'm confused. What are these abominable actions you speak of that were supposedly unheard of in reality before we saw them on the screen? Hair pulling, spanking, roughhousing? Is it about positions? About anal-sex? Bc I can assure you it's all been done & documented in one form or another since the dawn of man.. What would be a vegan alternative to these unhealthy "norms" you speak off... let's hear it !
Not everyone sees sex as some sort of spiritual bonding journey. To some of us it's just a gratifying, physical act.
The younger guy i was with started slapping my breasts very hard, as in very painful hitting and i asked him what the hell he was doing....later on he tells me he didn't know how to have sex in a loving way.....so i showed him and explained about the porn industry
I can imagine the generation gap in sex can be a problem bc you seem like the type who likes educating and "saving" young(er) boys.
That a kink of yours or some psychological fear-of-being-vulnerable hangup where you prefer to keep mentoring rather than engaging with someone your own age, experience and mental/emotional maturity?
click to expand
I don't like to *save* anyone but i do like to help when i can
Posted by HareHaha at *christian men*. No it isn't up to us to tell people what to do but i have experienced what i am talking about myself and it was pretty scary stuffPosted by MyStarsShineIt's not really our place to tell them what to do in their own bedrooms, though. Or to assume we knows what's best for them like old white Christian men.Posted by HareYes, they do and some do things they really really don't like...that is the worry i have had with the stories i have been told Rabbit
Some people like to please their partners...even if it means doing something they don't necessarily like. It's actually a fairly common occurance amongst couples in healthy relationships.
click to expand
Just wanted to pass on to others that may benefit
If not, then fair play
Posted by HareMarriage material.Posted by PalerioBabaganoush facial?Posted by HareThat's even more brutal.Posted by enfant_terribleEggplant?
"...these young men often go on to emulate the action they have seen on the screen, thinking it is the norm."
I'm confused. What are these abominable actions you speak of that were supposedly unheard of in reality before we saw them on the screen? Hair pulling, spanking, roughhousing? Is it about positions? About anal-sex? Bc I can assure you it's all been done & documented in one form or another since the dawn of man.. What would be a vegan alternative to these unhealthy "norms" you speak off... let's hear it !
Not everyone sees sex as some sort of spiritual bonding journey. To some of us it's just a gratifying, physical act.
click to expand
Posted by MyStarsShineWell there's never gonna be a shortage of young chakras in need help
I don't like to *save* anyone but i do like to help when i can
So what about men that do things to please their woman? Because it's not always the woman going out her way to please her man. So is it fair to the man to do something he doesn't really enjoy just to please his woman or does it work the same way for them?
Posted by EnochtheWiseIkr at this stage I'm more worried about how MY needs are met. Every woman wants to be treated like a hoe bag and I can't get a single one to ride my face cuz that's too kinky !
There are a TON of women out there are out there that enjoy violent sex - hair pulling, spanking, biting and choking, and some of them require it to orgasm.
Posted by enfant_terriblePosted by MyStarsShineWell there's never gonna be a shortage of young chakras in need help
I don't like to *save* anyone but i do like to help when i can
click to expand
Haham that made me laugh a lot
Been there, done that though. 🙂
Posted by enfant_terribleReally? Oral sex kinky? LolPosted by EnochtheWiseIkr at this stage I'm more worried about how MY needs are met. Every woman wants to be treated like a hoe bag and I can't get a single one to ride my face cuz that's too kinky !
There are a TON of women out there are out there that enjoy violent sex - hair pulling, spanking, biting and choking, and some of them require it to orgasm.
click to expand
Posted by SimplyBeinMe
So what about men that do things to please their woman? Because it's not always the woman going out her way to please her man. So is it fair to the man to do something he doesn't really enjoy just to please his woman or does it work the same way for them?
I was with a guy who liked spanking me hard but when I tried some hair pulling he was like 'ouch that hurts' so I stopped as I could see he was struggling with the pain......works both ways of course. No means no, whatever gender. If I had carried on pulling his lovely hair, i would have been out of order
Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by enfant_terribleReally? Oral sex kinky? LolPosted by EnochtheWiseIkr at this stage I'm more worried about how MY needs are met. Every woman wants to be treated like a hoe bag and I can't get a single one to ride my face cuz that's too kinky !
There are a TON of women out there are out there that enjoy violent sex - hair pulling, spanking, biting and choking, and some of them require it to orgasm.
click to expand
Well.. that particular variation
'But sure bae, I'll choke you '
Posted by Feral_doeI only ever met one....he asked me to do it as his other gf's wouldn'tPosted by SimplyBeinMemmhmm.
So what about men that do things to please their woman? Because it's not always the woman going out her way to please her man. So is it fair to the man to do something he doesn't really enjoy just to please his woman or does it work the same way for them?
I'd like to try some pegging but I'm pretty sure not that many guys will say yes 😛click to expand
Will I give you his number ? 😛
Ladies, be careful......if your man wants to strangle you as a form of *love*, i would question that before saying *oh of course, i will allow you to almost kill me ~ i love you*.
Over the years i learned that the men that had a preference to the rough stuff often had severe intimacy issues .... the rough stuff was often a defense mechanism. Do we really want a man that doesn't know how to truly connect and prefers to strangle than be sensual with us?
I am not talking about passion here, but brutality which often emanates from a somewhat damaged person
Food for thought
*~*~*~*~*~*
Hi! Thanks for your post. That's why I left the FREAK (Leo). He'd slap my arse until it turned beet red! 😈 He did this twice and there was NOT a third time (day). 😏
Cyber hugs 🤗
Love,
Eva
Over the years i learned that the men that had a preference to the rough stuff often had severe intimacy issues .... the rough stuff was often a defense mechanism. Do we really want a man that doesn't know how to truly connect and prefers to strangle than be sensual with us?
I am not talking about passion here, but brutality which often emanates from a somewhat damaged person
Food for thought
*~*~*~*~*~*
Hi! Thanks for your post. That's why I left the FREAK (Leo). He'd slap my arse until it turned beet red! 😈 He did this twice and there was NOT a third time (day). 😏
Cyber hugs 🤗
Love,
Eva
Posted by Gob_ShiteYes of course I need to do more work on myself.....a part of being human, we all doPosted by MyStarsShine
Hello Ladies 🙂
I have noticed a few posts where women say they do things *to please their man*, sexually. I have been there, done that and it hasn't always been a good choice. My last relationship left me not too well and the healing work i did revealed my first and second chakras were badly damaged through too much rough love.....
We have become submerged in images which aren't always healthy, the porn industry has had a hugely negative effect on some people, especially younger men. I have heard more than one of them say they didn't know what a real woman looked like as the women on the *screen* were their first influence...pouting, plastic and perfectly(?) formed...these young men often go on to emulate the action they have seen on the screen, thinking it is the norm.
I did healing work with women who were slapped, tied up, spanked, whipped, stranged, ejaculated on and in and often didn't want to be treated this way. When i asked why they tell me *to please my man* and then when i dug a little deeper I established they were at times feeling abused. I suggested to them that love doesn't have to be violent and often time these men were channeling their anger into their sex lives
Ladies, be careful......if your man wants to strangle you as a form of *love*, i would question that before saying *oh of course, i will allow you to almost kill me ~ i love you*.
Over the years i learned that the men that had a preference to the rough stuff often had severe intimacy issues .... the rough stuff was often a defense mechanism. Do we really want a man that doesn't know how to truly connect and prefers to strangle than be sensual with us?
I am not talking about passion here, but brutality which often emanates from a somewhat damaged person
Food for thought
*~*~*~*~*~*
And, in most cases, the women had a choice. If they're too insecure to say no, that's their problem. But, then again, those who are clued-up on dxp are well aware of your misandristic agenda.
I wouldn't be surprised if some of these women did a complete 180, after the relationship ended, but were previously accommodating because they foolishly thought they could hold onto their man that way. It's interesting how people (especially women) can become spiteful when a relationship unexpectedly falls apart.
As for the sexual acts themselves, as long as they're consensual, who is anyone else to judge? While none of the above is my cup of tea, those sexual acts were seemingly based on mutual consent. To then turn around and act like the victim is just as sinister as feeling guilty from having consensual intercourse, for whatever reason, and later crying rape.
It's threads like these that suggest that you are the one who still needs to work on yourself. So, you made several bad choices with men. We've all made poor partner choices, over the years. Instead of going on some feminist crusade, which reeks of projection, learn to accept your own mistakes and get over yourself.
Humans are always going to fuck-up, when it comes to romantic relationships. That's par for the course and neither gender will ever be immune. Nothing you say or do is going to save others from the effects of the media, peer pressure, personal demons and insecurities, and bad parenting.
click to expand
......in fact, I am thinking of doing another personal development course
Did you ever do one Gobbie?
Did you ever do one Gobbie?
Posted by EnochtheWiseFair is fairPosted by MyStarsShineYeah, but was this a passive-aggressive move on your part to sort of counter-balance/negotiate with him so he'd stop spanking you hard? That's the mentality I perceive from having read some of your threads, with regards to swallowing for instance. I've seen you make comments along the lines of "If he doesn't want to swallow it, how can he expect me to?", which completely misses the point.Posted by SimplyBeinMe
So what about men that do things to please their woman? Because it's not always the woman going out her way to please her man. So is it fair to the man to do something he doesn't really enjoy just to please his woman or does it work the same way for them?
I was with a guy who liked spanking me hard but when I tried some hair pulling he was like 'ouch that hurts' so I stopped as I could see he was struggling with the pain......works both ways of course. No means no, whatever gender. If I had carried on pulling his lovely hair, i would have been out of order
click to expand
Never ask someone to do something that you would not have done to yourself
I cringe when I hear women pulling out all the stops under the guise of "pleasing their man."
This response always makes me cringe. To be clear, it's NOT a problem if you want to do something to please your dude. It should be going both ways. He does whatever to please you/make you happy, and so should you.
HOWEVER, considering our society and how much it influences women's self esteem and objectifies them, THIS is why I cringe when I hear this. Are they really doing it to "please" him? Or is it desperation to make sure she keeps him around and doesn't stray? Is he doing things to return the favor? Is this there an equality within the relationship? Unfortunately, women are conditioned to give quite a bit without much in return and they continue to do so out of desperation ("love") and end up miserable and unhappy.
It IS okay to say no. It's one thing to want to "please" your dude, but you shouldn't be violating any personal comfort level or self respect in doing so. Some women take "pleasing" too far and are borderline subservient individuals who allow themselves to be degraded by a guy who supposedly loves and respects them.
Unfortunately, there are too many women out there who fall into the subservient role and sacrifice their own emotional well being for the sake of keeping her dude "happy." That's not how it works, ladies. You're doing it entirely wrong.
This response always makes me cringe. To be clear, it's NOT a problem if you want to do something to please your dude. It should be going both ways. He does whatever to please you/make you happy, and so should you.
HOWEVER, considering our society and how much it influences women's self esteem and objectifies them, THIS is why I cringe when I hear this. Are they really doing it to "please" him? Or is it desperation to make sure she keeps him around and doesn't stray? Is he doing things to return the favor? Is this there an equality within the relationship? Unfortunately, women are conditioned to give quite a bit without much in return and they continue to do so out of desperation ("love") and end up miserable and unhappy.
It IS okay to say no. It's one thing to want to "please" your dude, but you shouldn't be violating any personal comfort level or self respect in doing so. Some women take "pleasing" too far and are borderline subservient individuals who allow themselves to be degraded by a guy who supposedly loves and respects them.
Unfortunately, there are too many women out there who fall into the subservient role and sacrifice their own emotional well being for the sake of keeping her dude "happy." That's not how it works, ladies. You're doing it entirely wrong.
Posted by ImTheRam
Humm so thats how Marquis du Sade wrote his books...he was watching BDSM on his flat screen...
Now wait a minute...did i just created a time paradox?
Denying your "animal" instincts doesnt make you more or less of a person...
Controling our instincts is what makes us Humans in the end...
And for some, the way to control it is by sharing it with their partner...it makes them feel alive! A *precious* bond!
Lets not confuse abuse and rapists with controled pleasure.
I'm not
I am talking about women saying yes when they mean no
Posted by rockyroadicecreamThis is exactly what I was getting at
I cringe when I hear women pulling out all the stops under the guise of "pleasing their man."
This response always makes me cringe. To be clear, it's NOT a problem if you want to do something to please your dude. It should be going both ways. He does whatever to please you/make you happy, and so should you.
HOWEVER, considering our society and how much it influences women's self esteem and objectifies them, THIS is why I cringe when I hear this. Are they really doing it to "please" him? Or is it desperation to make sure she keeps him around and doesn't stray? Is he doing things to return the favor? Is this there an equality within the relationship? Unfortunately, women are conditioned to give quite a bit without much in return and they continue to do so out of desperation ("love") and end up miserable and unhappy.
It IS okay to say no. It's one thing to want to "please" your dude, but you shouldn't be violating any personal comfort level or self respect in doing so. Some women take "pleasing" too far and are borderline subservient individuals who allow themselves to be degraded by a guy who supposedly loves and respects them.
Unfortunately, there are too many women out there who fall into the subservient role and sacrifice their own emotional well being for the sake of keeping her dude "happy." That's not how it works, ladies. You're doing it entirely wrong.
At last someone read what I wrote
Posted by Feral_doeSweetie, you missed the point entirely. Instead, you turned this into defending yourself, which says a lot about you. This thread wasn't created for you to jump in and defend the concept of "pleasing" your man, it was pointing out how women let things go too far, out of their own comfort zones, in order to do so.
I'm going to weigh in because I enjoy pleasing my man. Just as I enjoy being pleased.
Pleasing him is not about abandoning your values or boundaries. They are still there. And the more trust is established in the relationship, the less the chances of being disrespected.
Pleasing him is not about doing everything he wants or asks or even mentions, but about doing things we are both comfortable with and enjoy.
Not once have I ever felt disrespected, demeaned or made to feel less. In a trusting relationship it goes both ways. I doubt a woman wouldn't want her SO to please her.
Which is why speaking out about your sexual boundaries is paramount. Not only does it establish trust, it deepens the intimacy between the two. There are plenty of things I will try out if he brings up, because I'm curious and just don't know if it's something I'd like or not.
I find it simply beautiful to please him and be pleased in return, not only by knowing that I bring him pleasure but also by his desire to please me too.
I think the women you speak of either don't know their limits, or are afraid to speak up for fear of losing him. Which is another issue in itself.
If your sense of worth has been violated yet you do it anyway...
I loled when I read this. "Wow, someone feels guilty/insecure about this concept." I suggest you revisit how you view your relationship. Your response is incredibly telling. If anything, you just proved the OP's point beautifully. Congrats.
Posted by Feral_doeStill missing the point.Posted by rockyroadicecreamThat can also be a facet of bsdm. Not one I personally subscribe to, but from what I've read (there are a shit ton of blogs from super uber submissives) they find their special brand of empowerment from being competent subservient.
Some women take "pleasing" too far and are borderline subservient individuals who allow themselves to be degraded by a guy who supposedly loves and respects them.
Unfortunately, there are too many women out there who fall into the subservient role and sacrifice their own emotional well being for the sake of keeping her dude "happy." That's not how it works, ladies. You're doing it entirely wrong.click to expand
Do you need to take a class on reading comprehension?
Try again.
Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by SimplyBeinMe
So what about men that do things to please their woman? Because it's not always the woman going out her way to please her man. So is it fair to the man to do something he doesn't really enjoy just to please his woman or does it work the same way for them?
I was with a guy who liked spanking me hard but when I tried some hair pulling he was like 'ouch that hurts' so I stopped as I could see he was struggling with the pain......works both ways of course. No means no, whatever gender. If I had carried on pulling his lovely hair, i would have been out of order
click to expand
Of course if the person is saying No then it's definitely out of order, there's a huge difference between consensual rough sex and non-consensual rough sex. But I'm speaking on the question in general, it's coming across as if women that do rough sex with their partner is being forced to do it instead of wanting to do it themselves.
Posted by EnochtheWiseI would love to give a guy a good pummelling, but he would have to very much want that and enjoy it...the problem is finding guys that have a high pain barrier, not many around tbh.Posted by MyStarsShineSo that is why you pulled his hair then. LOL. I figured because you pretty much implicitly admit that you don't derive pleasure from inflicting pain. This is the Scorpio way of establishing boundaries I guess.Posted by EnochtheWiseFair is fairPosted by MyStarsShineYeah, but was this a passive-aggressive move on your part to sort of counter-balance/negotiate with him so he'd stop spanking you hard? That's the mentality I perceive from having read some of your threads, with regards to swallowing for instance. I've seen you make comments along the lines of "If he doesn't want to swallow it, how can he expect me to?", which completely misses the point.Posted by SimplyBeinMe
So what about men that do things to please their woman? Because it's not always the woman going out her way to please her man. So is it fair to the man to do something he doesn't really enjoy just to please his woman or does it work the same way for them?
I was with a guy who liked spanking me hard but when I tried some hair pulling he was like 'ouch that hurts' so I stopped as I could see he was struggling with the pain......works both ways of course. No means no, whatever gender. If I had carried on pulling his lovely hair, i would have been out of order
Never ask someone to do something that you would not have done to yourself
Now to your "fair is fair" argument. Not to be crass or anything, but when's the last time you took a good sampling of your own vaginal secretions? How'd they taste?
Or do you not allow men to perform oral sex on you?
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You are not being crass and they taste good....sensual, musky sweetness...moon in Taurus sweetness that is
I love oral sex....
Posted by EnochtheWiseWell I figured i would see how it tasted if I was going to allow someone to eat me. Seems a fair thing to do...did you ever try your sperm, just to see how it tasted?Posted by MyStarsShineSo you taste your own vag? And you think the taste is universally appealing to the men you've been with? Like they'd order it sweet musky vag-flavored crème brûlée for dessert?Posted by EnochtheWiseI would love to give a guy a good pummelling, but he would have to very much want that and enjoy it...the problem is finding guys that have a high pain barrier, not many around tbh.Posted by MyStarsShineSo that is why you pulled his hair then. LOL. I figured because you pretty much implicitly admit that you don't derive pleasure from inflicting pain. This is the Scorpio way of establishing boundaries I guess.Posted by EnochtheWiseFair is fairPosted by MyStarsShineYeah, but was this a passive-aggressive move on your part to sort of counter-balance/negotiate with him so he'd stop spanking you hard? That's the mentality I perceive from having read some of your threads, with regards to swallowing for instance. I've seen you make comments along the lines of "If he doesn't want to swallow it, how can he expect me to?", which completely misses the point.Posted by SimplyBeinMe
So what about men that do things to please their woman? Because it's not always the woman going out her way to please her man. So is it fair to the man to do something he doesn't really enjoy just to please his woman or does it work the same way for them?
I was with a guy who liked spanking me hard but when I tried some hair pulling he was like 'ouch that hurts' so I stopped as I could see he was struggling with the pain......works both ways of course. No means no, whatever gender. If I had carried on pulling his lovely hair, i would have been out of order
Never ask someone to do something that you would not have done to yourself
Now to your "fair is fair" argument. Not to be crass or anything, but when's the last time you took a good sampling of your own vaginal secretions? How'd they taste?
Or do you not allow men to perform oral sex on you?
You are not being crass and they taste good....sensual, musky sweetness...moon in Taurus sweetness that is
I love oral sex....
click to expand
Universally appealing? How would I know that?
They liked it.....spicy
Posted by PeanutButterandElly
The problem is less about whatever someone's kink or relationship to porn is and more about what we teach women about sex.
Men are taught that their sexual advances, aggression and desires are normal and encouraged in most senses. Women aren't taught anything, or if they are it's that their inherent value is in trying to be as sexy as possible without actually having too much sex.
It's not about a women telling a man yes or no to a certain act. It's about teaching women to discover what acts, links or desires they might have.
Good points
Posted by MyStarsShineI agree with you, star.
Hello Ladies 🙂
I have noticed a few posts where women say they do things *to please their man*, sexually. I have been there, done that and it hasn't always been a good choice. My last relationship left me not too well and the healing work i did revealed my first and second chakras were badly damaged through too much rough love.....
We have become submerged in images which aren't always healthy, the porn industry has had a hugely negative effect on some people, especially younger men. I have heard more than one of them say they didn't know what a real woman looked like as the women on the *screen* were their first influence...pouting, plastic and perfectly(?) formed...these young men often go on to emulate the action they have seen on the screen, thinking it is the norm.
I did healing work with women who were slapped, tied up, spanked, whipped, stranged, ejaculated on and in and often didn't want to be treated this way. When i asked why they tell me *to please my man* and then when i dug a little deeper I established they were at times feeling abused. I suggested to them that love doesn't have to be violent and often time these men were channeling their anger into their sex lives
Ladies, be careful......if your man wants to strangle you as a form of *love*, i would question that before saying *oh of course, i will allow you to almost kill me ~ i love you*.
Over the years i learned that the men that had a preference to the rough stuff often had severe intimacy issues .... the rough stuff was often a defense mechanism. Do we really want a man that doesn't know how to truly connect and prefers to strangle than be sensual with us?
I am not talking about passion here, but brutality which often emanates from a somewhat damaged person
Food for thought
*~*~*~*~*~*
I don't do anything I am not interested or feel grossed out about. I don't care. if it isn't right for me, then he's NOT for me.
the man is going to have to RAPE me if he thinks he can stronghold me into doing something GROSS.
and then i'll call the police on him for rape. Cause that's just disgusting. I hate HATE men like that. who force you into something you don't like.
edit - also a man who rapes, cause he is trying to force a woman to do something, something is really wrong with that mf'er. He can find lots of women to do his bidding. thousands out there willing for lots of goodies for them.
and then i'll call the police on him for rape. Cause that's just disgusting. I hate HATE men like that. who force you into something you don't like.
edit - also a man who rapes, cause he is trying to force a woman to do something, something is really wrong with that mf'er. He can find lots of women to do his bidding. thousands out there willing for lots of goodies for them.
Well, I never needed to ask those guys to go down on me.....if they didnt like it and wanted to stop....fair play
Posted by EnochtheWisePast fantasy......dominatrix type stuff ... Yet to try...as I said before I didn't meet any men yet that would be up for it and I would rather die than hurt someone, it remained a fantasy. Since I worked through the anger stuff, it isn't a fantasy so much nowPosted by MyStarsShineThis is interesting. Why do you think you would derive pleasure from committing an act of violence towards a man? And is this a sexual thing for you?
I would love to give a guy a good pummelling, but he would have to very much want that and enjoy it...the problem is finding guys that have a high pain barrier, not many around tbh.
click to expand
Posted by EnochtheWisePosted by MyStarsShineYou never once asked a man to go down on you?
Well, I never needed to ask those guys to go down on me.....if they didnt like it and wanted to stop....fair play
And for the record, I've never asked a woman to swallow. Most women I've been with who do that, just already do it as a habit, probably from prior experience. I think some women prefer that to keeping it in their mouth/spitting it out actually....Down the hatch real fast to avoid the taste buds perhaps.
I'd also wager that you're probably unique in tasting your own vag. I don't think most women do this, or would like to do this, but still regularly accept oral sex from a man. So the fairness principle really isn't practiced on either side.
click to expand
Yes I would say I am a unique kind of woman but this thread isn't about me...
I would like to hear from other ladies?
Thanks gents for your input but it was posted in the lady forum and addressed to ladies
Posted by EnochtheWisePosted by MyStarsShineGotcha. Not so sure its entirely past tense for you, but all this makes total sense with how I've read some of your posts. In your opinion, is it related to past abuse from males in your life?Posted by EnochtheWisePast fantasy......dominatrix type stuff ... Yet to try...as I said before I didn't meet any men yet that would be up for it and I would rather die than hurt someone, it remained a fantasy. Since I worked through the anger stuff, it isn't a fantasy so much nowPosted by MyStarsShineThis is interesting. Why do you think you would derive pleasure from committing an act of violence towards a man? And is this a sexual thing for you?
I would love to give a guy a good pummelling, but he would have to very much want that and enjoy it...the problem is finding guys that have a high pain barrier, not many around tbh.
click to expand
Getting there mister....getting there, slowly but surely 🙂. No past male abuse, but locked horns with my dad a fair bit.....loved him very much though
You have asked me LOADS of questions !
Posted by tizianiThat is it in a nutshell tiz....peace is the key 🙂Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by EnochtheWisePast fantasy......dominatrix type stuff ... Yet to try...as I said before I didn't meet any men yet that would be up for it and I would rather die than hurt someone, it remained a fantasy. Since I worked through the anger stuff, it isn't a fantasy so much nowPosted by MyStarsShineThis is interesting. Why do you think you would derive pleasure from committing an act of violence towards a man? And is this a sexual thing for you?
I would love to give a guy a good pummelling, but he would have to very much want that and enjoy it...the problem is finding guys that have a high pain barrier, not many around tbh.
Isn't that weird how that happens though? It's happened to me too. I work through something (not even necessarily violent because I've never had violent fantasies, and I've chosen to service more violent acts that my girlfriends wanted than I could remember) and completely figure out all the puzzle inside of me... then I just don't really want that fantasy anymore. I don't need it.
And I lose that ability to want a woman in that way, who can explore that with me.
Just seems like the more you get on in life and the more at peace you get, you also lose your edge a little. You lose some kind of angst that made you feel alive.
I'm not complaining though. It's just change is funny.
click to expand
Posted by tizianiAnd furry slippers?
What if I don't want peace? What if I need the old Tiz back?
just kidding.
Jeez might be time to start a family and get a Volvo.
😛
Posted by EnochtheWisePosted by MyStarsShineI apologize. I'm very interested in what makes people tick and I get fixated.
You have asked me LOADS of questions !
click to expand
It's okay.....you probably need an interesting girlfriend or join a debate society? 😛
Posted by Feral_doePosted by MyStarsShineI've never tasted myself. The thought has come to mind though.Posted by EnochtheWisePosted by MyStarsShineYou never once asked a man to go down on you?
Well, I never needed to ask those guys to go down on me.....if they didnt like it and wanted to stop....fair play
And for the record, I've never asked a woman to swallow. Most women I've been with who do that, just already do it as a habit, probably from prior experience. I think some women prefer that to keeping it in their mouth/spitting it out actually....Down the hatch real fast to avoid the taste buds perhaps.
I'd also wager that you're probably unique in tasting your own vag. I don't think most women do this, or would like to do this, but still regularly accept oral sex from a man. So the fairness principle really isn't practiced on either side.
Yes I would say I am a unique kind of woman but this thread isn't about me...
I would like to hear from other ladies?
Thanks gents for your input but it was posted in the lady forum and addressed to ladies
click to expand
Go on, try it......live a little. 😛
Report back lol
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We have become submerged in images which aren't always healthy, the porn industry has had a hugely negative effect on some people, especially younger men. I have heard more than one of them say they didn't know what a real woman looked like as the women on the *screen* were their first influence...pouting, plastic and perfectly(?) formed...these young men often go on to emulate the action they have seen on the screen, thinking it is the norm.
I did healing work with women who were slapped, tied up, spanked, whipped, stranged, ejaculated on and in and often didn't want to be treated this way. When i asked why they tell me *to please my man* and then when i dug a little deeper I established they were at times feeling abused. I suggested to them that love doesn't have to be violent and often time these men were channeling their anger into their sex lives
Ladies, be careful......if your man wants to strangle you as a form of *love*, i would question that before saying *oh of course, i will allow you to almost kill me ~ i love you*.
Over the years i learned that the men that had a preference to the rough stuff often had severe intimacy issues .... the rough stuff was often a defense mechanism. Do we really want a man that doesn't know how to truly connect and prefers to strangle than be sensual with us?
I am not talking about passion here, but brutality which often emanates from a somewhat damaged person
Food for thought
*~*~*~*~*~*