What do you gain from men you can't get elsewhere?

I'm seriously asking this. What do you get out of relationships (Friendships included) from males that you find risking your mental/emotional/spiritual independence and stability for? Just because your hormones demand you have someone with a Y chromozone that can breed if needed? What do men bring to the table for you mentally, emotionally and spiritually that you can't get for women or from yourself internally?

Hope my question is clear enough for you all to answer without any need for clarification.

Relationship - Partnership, confidant, lover, adventurer, new experiences.

Friendship - Confidant, adventurer, new experiences.

Posted by AneemA
Sex can't possibly coz if I have the money, I can adopt and if I want to have from my own womb, I can use sperm donor, I *ideally*

But wait, what do you mean by this?

Posted by SirHorns
... What do you get out of relationships (Friendships included) from males that you find risking your mental/emotional/spiritual independence and stability for?

click to expand

If you have any time of relationship were you allow someone to connect with you on nay level, you then leave yourself open to pain. (Not always abuse, if they get ill or injured, you'll feel bad for them naturally and the closer they are to you, the more intense the feelings are.)

So what's in it for women to have that type of relationship with men over other women or forgoing the whole thing all together and being self-contained?

A different perspective. Masculine energy. Comradeship.

Posted by littlesnow
personality, fun times, honesty, partnership, love, loyalty -could be friend or bf

Okay, but what makes all those things have a different value to them compared to sharing all that with women, pets or yourself?

Posted by cheekyfaerie
I tend to think as much like a man as I do a woman. The majority of my hobbies are enjoyed by/with men more than most women. I'm more at ease around my male friends/acquaintances than I am their female counterparts. When I'm hanging out with a group of only women, I feel low level stressed. Like they're going to realize I'm a fraud. An imposter. Like I don't belong.

Men also tend to take less selfies. Nothings worse than chilln with a friend and mid sentence they stop to take a photo shoot with themselves while you stand there awkwardly.

1) Physical and emotional intimacy (hugs, snogs, touching, sex, care, love).

2) Conversations about science, technology, stock market, etc

3) Doing things for me for free (brewing, cooking, driving, etc)

4) A dance partner

5) Keeping me on my toes

6) Keeping me entertained

Posted by cheekyfaerie
I tend to think as much like a man as I do a woman. The majority of my hobbies are enjoyed by/with men more than most women. I'm more at ease around my male friends/acquaintances than I am their female counterparts. When I'm hanging out with a group of only women, I feel low level stressed. Like they're going to realize I'm a fraud. An imposter. Like I don't belong.

Ahh, I see. So less/no judgement or judgement based on different standards then what women commonly use to see if someone is acceptable or not? AM I correct or am I misquoting you?

Also did you always see and feel things this way or did you develop this view as you matured/had experiences with various men and women in social situations?

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by cheekyfaerie
I tend to think as much like a man as I do a woman. The majority of my hobbies are enjoyed by/with men more than most women. I'm more at ease around my male friends/acquaintances than I am their female counterparts. When I'm hanging out with a group of only women, I feel low level stressed. Like they're going to realize I'm a fraud. An imposter. Like I don't belong.

Men also tend to take less selfies. Nothings worse than chilln with a friend and mid sentence they stop to take a photo shoot with themselves while you stand there awkwardly.

click to expand

😆

Posted by LadyNeptune
A different perspective. Masculine energy. Comradeship.

How do you perceive masculine energy? What are the major things that make you value that energy more in men then women? Since women can be masculine in behavior after all.

What do I get? I dunno... Nothing I guess. Never felt I'm missing something without "the man" in my life

Posted by Undine
1) Physical and emotional intimacy (hugs, snogs, touching, sex, care, love).

2) Conversations about science, technology, stock market, etc

3) Doing things for me for free (brewing, cooking, driving, etc)

4) A dance partner

5) Keeping me on my toes

6) Keeping me entertained

2-5 = Men proving to be more useful/having a stronger efefct on you in those areas compared to the women in your life?

1 = Biological sway since you can do the same with women.

6 is pure fact though. Men are made of fun after all.

Posted by cheekyfaerie

Posted by SirHorns

Posted by cheekyfaerie
I tend to think as much like a man as I do a woman. The majority of my hobbies are enjoyed by/with men more than most women. I'm more at ease around my male friends/acquaintances than I am their female counterparts. When I'm hanging out with a group of only women, I feel low level stressed. Like they're going to realize I'm a fraud. An imposter. Like I don't belong.

Ahh, I see. So less/no judgement or judgement based on different standards then what women commonly use to see if someone is acceptable or not? AM I correct or am I misquoting you?

Also did you always see and feel things this way or did you develop this view as you matured/had experiences with various men and women in social situations?

I was always a tomboy so I've been like this as far back as I can remember. My humor is bawdy and I'm pretty blunt. Qualities usually only appreciated by males and other females that are like me. Guy girls.

As for judgement, I find women to be more petty. Men tend to simply ignore people they don't get on with. Women are more passive aggressive. They want you to know it.

click to expand

*Nods* Thank you for sharing your input!

Posted by blackphase
That's a good question.. and I have no answer..

I see lots of people commenting and giving answers.. but most of those answers are things you could also get from women, so...

only if you're lesbian.



I don't want a woman's company.

Posted by blackphase
That's a good question.. and I have no answer..

I see lots of people commenting and giving answers.. but most of those answers are things you could also get from women, so...

Could say because your crotch and heart demand a man that can supply high quality children for you and care about his general existence more than just his human-doings and dick (or really his sperm)

Posted by SirHorns

Posted by blackphase
That's a good question.. and I have no answer..

I see lots of people commenting and giving answers.. but most of those answers are things you could also get from women, so...

Could say because your crotch and heart demand a man that can supply high quality children for you and care about his general existence more than just his human-doings and dick (or really his sperm)

click to expand

lol!!

Posted by SomeSortOfMermaid
*Gasp* at all the selfie hating!

I kid😛

To answer OP's question:

I'm not gonna lie, initially I couldn't really think of anything other than physical intimacy, mainly because I have had similar emotional fulfilment in friendships. But that's not necessarily a bad thing because what's love without friendship in it? Just lust/passion.

But yeah you get partnership and get to build a family with your closest confidant. Can't really do that with friends. Also, men can make you feel safe physically and emotionally.

Okay, but how do men make you feel emotionally safe or safer compared to females, pets or anything you can emotionally bond with?

Posted by SirHorns

Posted by Undine
1) Physical and emotional intimacy (hugs, snogs, touching, sex, care, love).

2) Conversations about science, technology, stock market, etc

3) Doing things for me for free (brewing, cooking, driving, etc)

4) A dance partner

5) Keeping me on my toes

6) Keeping me entertained

2-5 = Men proving to be more useful/having a stronger efefct on you in those areas compared to the women in your life?

1 = Biological sway since you can do the same with women.

6 is pure fact though. Men are made of fun after all.

click to expand

Actually 6 was the weakest. Women are good at entertaining me, if not better than men.

replace it with this:

6. Triggering in me all the emotions and sensations that come with being in love. This should be number 1 actually.

Posted by aquarius_beauty
Other than the obvious part in a male anatomy. Protection, comfort, manly embrace and touch.

*Nods* Thanks for replying. Though what about men makes you feel more protected and comforted in comparison to female friends?

Posted by Undine

Posted by SirHorns

Posted by Undine
1) Physical and emotional intimacy (hugs, snogs, touching, sex, care, love).

2) Conversations about science, technology, stock market, etc

3) Doing things for me for free (brewing, cooking, driving, etc)

4) A dance partner

5) Keeping me on my toes

6) Keeping me entertained

2-5 = Men proving to be more useful/having a stronger efefct on you in those areas compared to the women in your life?

1 = Biological sway since you can do the same with women.

6 is pure fact though. Men are made of fun after all.

Actually 6 was the weakest. Women are good at entertaining me, if not better than men.

replace it with this:

6. Triggering in me all the emotions and sensations that come with being in love. This should be number 1 actually.

click to expand

Ohhh~ I see. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us!

Posted by blackphase

Posted by SirHorns

Posted by blackphase
That's a good question.. and I have no answer..

I see lots of people commenting and giving answers.. but most of those answers are things you could also get from women, so...

Could say because your crotch and heart demand a man that can supply high quality children for you and care about his general existence more than just his human-doings and dick (or really his sperm)

I don't want kids.. So No.. 😛

One thing I can think of though is security. Having a man makes me feel safe.. I have paranoid fears of a lot of stupid things, having a man around helps ease that a lot for me.

click to expand

*Nods* Thanks for sharing your thoughts! *hands you a voucher to Rent a Man for a day*

Posted by Dreamyboy

Posted by blackphase
That's a good question.. and I have no answer..

I see lots of people commenting and giving answers.. but most of those answers are things you could also get from women, so...

I thought the same exact thing. OP has made a very good and tricky question. @sirhorns you sneaky sneaky mind tricker...

click to expand

Is it really sneaky if you're trying to be as transparent as possible?

Posted by SomeSortOfMermaid

Posted by SirHorns

Posted by SomeSortOfMermaid
*Gasp* at all the selfie hating!

I kid😛

To answer OP's question:

I'm not gonna lie, initially I couldn't really think of anything other than physical intimacy, mainly because I have had similar emotional fulfilment in friendships. But that's not necessarily a bad thing because what's love without friendship in it? Just lust/passion.

But yeah you get partnership and get to build a family with your closest confidant. Can't really do that with friends. Also, men can make you feel safe physically and emotionally.

Okay, but how do men make you feel emotionally safe or safer compared to females, pets or anything you can emotionally bond with?

in my experience, I'd say female friends understand emotions better and are good for talking through them.



But when it comes to reassurance though, especially with situations where I might be scared of something occurring in my life, I find men are better at just being there.

click to expand

*Nods* I see! Thanks for sharing!

Posted by blackphase

Posted by SirHorns

Posted by blackphase
That's a good question.. and I have no answer..

I see lots of people commenting and giving answers.. but most of those answers are things you could also get from women, so...

Could say because your crotch and heart demand a man that can supply high quality children for you and care about his general existence more than just his human-doings and dick (or really his sperm)

I don't want kids.. So No.. 😛

One thing I can think of though is security. Having a man makes me feel safe.. I have paranoid fears of a lot of stupid things, having a man around helps ease that a lot for me.

click to expand

me and my husband and mother in law were talking about this.



a lot of women we have been noticing do NOT want children.



I wanted children but my husband doesn't want more.

and he knows best and I realize that I can only handle one or two.

I would not want five children.



you need a man who does NOT want children at all.

I know a lot of men like this...

my virgo brother in law but he was forced into it, and he makes a great father too.

and our neighbors several of them don't have children and they are senior citizens already. so NO children ever.

and plenty of my sister's girlfriends say they do NOT want children.

only one of her girlfriends wanted desperately to have one but she sucks in relationshps, sadly. 😢

but she finally got one before her eggs died.

Posted by SomeSortOfMermaid

Posted by SirHorns

Posted by SomeSortOfMermaid
*Gasp* at all the selfie hating!

I kid😛

To answer OP's question:

I'm not gonna lie, initially I couldn't really think of anything other than physical intimacy, mainly because I have had similar emotional fulfilment in friendships. But that's not necessarily a bad thing because what's love without friendship in it? Just lust/passion.

But yeah you get partnership and get to build a family with your closest confidant. Can't really do that with friends. Also, men can make you feel safe physically and emotionally.

Okay, but how do men make you feel emotionally safe or safer compared to females, pets or anything you can emotionally bond with?

in my experience, I'd say female friends understand emotions better and are good for talking through them.



But when it comes to reassurance though, especially with situations where I might be scared of something occurring in my life, I find men are better at just being there.

click to expand

female companion is very very different indeed.

I LOVE the male mind's linear thoughts.

while women are more multi thinking and do multi tasking. generaly speaking ...

it's just so different.

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by blackphase

Posted by SirHorns

Posted by blackphase
That's a good question.. and I have no answer..

I see lots of people commenting and giving answers.. but most of those answers are things you could also get from women, so...

Could say because your crotch and heart demand a man that can supply high quality children for you and care about his general existence more than just his human-doings and dick (or really his sperm)

I don't want kids.. So No.. 😛

One thing I can think of though is security. Having a man makes me feel safe.. I have paranoid fears of a lot of stupid things, having a man around helps ease that a lot for me.

me and my husband and mother in law were talking about this.



a lot of women we have been noticing do NOT want children.



I wanted children but my husband doesn't want more.

and he knows best and I realize that I can only handle one or two.

I would not want five children.



you need a man who does NOT want children at all.

I know a lot of men like this...

my virgo brother in law but he was forced into it, and he makes a great father too.

and our neighbors several of them don't have children and they are senior citizens already. so NO children ever.

and plenty of my sister's girlfriends say they do NOT want children.

only one of her girlfriends wanted desperately to have one but she sucks in relationshps, sadly. 😢

but she finally got one before her eggs died.

click to expand

I do find it quite interesting that so many women don't want kinds period now more than ever. Sure we can say the social climate plays a role, which does in a way, but that can't be the only factor.

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by SomeSortOfMermaid

Posted by SirHorns

Posted by SomeSortOfMermaid
*Gasp* at all the selfie hating!

I kid😛

To answer OP's question:

I'm not gonna lie, initially I couldn't really think of anything other than physical intimacy, mainly because I have had similar emotional fulfilment in friendships. But that's not necessarily a bad thing because what's love without friendship in it? Just lust/passion.

But yeah you get partnership and get to build a family with your closest confidant. Can't really do that with friends. Also, men can make you feel safe physically and emotionally.

Okay, but how do men make you feel emotionally safe or safer compared to females, pets or anything you can emotionally bond with?

in my experience, I'd say female friends understand emotions better and are good for talking through them.



But when it comes to reassurance though, especially with situations where I might be scared of something occurring in my life, I find men are better at just being there.

female companion is very very different indeed.

I LOVE the male mind's linear thoughts.

while women are more multi thinking and do multi tasking. generaly speaking ...

it's just so different.

click to expand

*nods* Men love it too, it's how we create things that everyone benefits from, like planes or donut holes.

Posted by Dreamyboy

Posted by SirHorns

Posted by Dreamyboy

Posted by blackphase
That's a good question.. and I have no answer..

I see lots of people commenting and giving answers.. but most of those answers are things you could also get from women, so...

I thought the same exact thing. OP has made a very good and tricky question. @sirhorns you sneaky sneaky mind tricker...

Is it really sneaky if you're trying to be as transparent as possible?

Ninjas always try to be transparent.. that's why their so sneaky 😄

click to expand

But if i were on, I wouldn't be one anymore since you called me out.

Ninjas get you in your sleep and flee after all.

I guess for me I get a loyal friend. With my bestfirend I don't have to try to impress or act a certain way. I can just be myself and not be judged. There is also a deep level of respect. I can't seem to get that women.

male energy and female energy are like two different color lights you can still see in the dark with each one and on their own they work fine but when you mix the two you get a third color and thats the relationship its neither male nor female its a mix and that goes to romantic or platonic its just another flavor or color to life

Posted by SirHorns

Posted by LadyNeptune
A different perspective. Masculine energy. Comradeship.

How do you perceive masculine energy? What are the major things that make you value that energy more in men then women? Since women can be masculine in behavior after all.

click to expand

Being out with a guy friend is vastly different than with a girl friend. For starters you get creeped on less, if at all.

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by blackphase
That's a good question.. and I have no answer..

I see lots of people commenting and giving answers.. but most of those answers are things you could also get from women, so...

only if you're lesbian.



I don't want a woman's company.

click to expand

You don't have any female friends Liz? Weekend spa getaways, nail/hair day, wine and whine Wednesday's.

Masculine energy is more linear and focused on results. Feminine energy is scattered and detail oriented, focused on the quality of said result.

Both have their strengths and weaknesses.

It benefits to have exposure to another perspective. Strengthens your own.

Posted by Dreamyboy

Posted by SirHorns

Posted by Dreamyboy

Posted by SirHorns

Posted by Dreamyboy

Posted by blackphase
That's a good question.. and I have no answer..

I see lots of people commenting and giving answers.. but most of those answers are things you could also get from women, so...

I thought the same exact thing. OP has made a very good and tricky question. @sirhorns you sneaky sneaky mind tricker...

Is it really sneaky if you're trying to be as transparent as possible?

Ninjas always try to be transparent.. that's why their so sneaky 😄

But if i were on, I wouldn't be one anymore since you called me out.

Ninjas get you in your sleep and flee after all.

True, but your thread has a very good question. Every answer I see, I think, "hmm, you can do that with a woman still". I'm dead curious of what answer can really fit your question. It's a dam good question.

click to expand

*Bows* Thank you. *ninjas out*

Posted by Earthhorse
male energy and female energy are like two different color lights you can still see in the dark with each one and on their own they work fine but when you mix the two you get a third color and thats the relationship its neither male nor female its a mix and that goes to romantic or platonic its just another flavor or color to life

Well said!

Posted by LadyNeptune
Masculine energy is more linear and focused on results. Feminine energy is scattered and detail oriented, focused on the quality of said result.

Both have their strengths and weaknesses.

It benefits to have exposure to another perspective. Strengthens your own.

True! Together greatness is created.

Posted by aquarius_beauty

Posted by SirHorns

Posted by aquarius_beauty
Other than the obvious part in a male anatomy. Protection, comfort, manly embrace and touch.

*Nods* Thanks for replying. Though what about men makes you feel more protected and comforted in comparison to female friends?

Why?

Well, women are more soft to the touch and feminine (obviously). I love a mans scent, touch, warmth, kiss. It's a mixture between passion and tenderness. With a woman it's all sensual and loving (which I can provide) so I feel like I'm getting back what I'm giving out. I need someone to balance me and a man does that. Plus I'm not the most petite woman (5'10" hourglass/pear-shaped body) so having a man with strength and vigor just manhandle me gets me going. Mixing it up between passion, aggression, and sensuality is what I love about a man. If I were to be with a woman, I'd have to be the man 😢

With a man however, I get to be HIS woman and I love being able to be vulnerable with a man. I also love to nurture a man. I feel like women are too emotional and I like to break barriers and walls that men tend to put there (by nature). In other words, men are a challenge for me...at least the ones I tend to be attracted to.

Also their bravado. Call me old fashioned but I like a manly man, a gentleman. I think that energy turns me on.

click to expand

Thanks for sharing your view! *hand you a voucher to Test drive a Manly Gentlemen at the Man Factory*

Posted by Soul
I guess for me I get a loyal friend. With my bestfirend I don't have to try to impress or act a certain way. I can just be myself and not be judged. There is also a deep level of respect. I can't seem to get that women.

Yeah, different standards and expectations. If you can get a man's respect, usually it sticks.

I am seriously trying to understand a question and can't...

What an I gaining from relashionship with men? Feeling like a woman...idk

1. Easy going company without the drama and competitiveness.

2. Male perspective on things

3. Main reason is their physical strength. I always need my bros or guy friends to open that sealed tight jars. Also to help me with my car. The struggle is real.

Posted by CAPR1LICIOUS

Posted by SirHorns
I'm seriously asking this. What do you get out of relationships (Friendships included) from males that you find risking your mental/emotional/spiritual independence and stability for? Just because your hormones demand you have someone with a Y chromozone that can breed if needed? What do men bring to the table for you mentally, emotionally and spiritually that you can't get for women or from yourself internally?

Hope my question is clear enough for you all to answer without any need for clarification.

Hmm, what do you mean by " risking your mental/emotional/spiritual independence and stability "? ?

I've never been that mentally/ emotionally/ spiritually dependent on anyone (except for my dogs maybe) so as to cause instability.

What do men bring to the table for you mentally, emotionally and spiritually that you can't get for women or from yourself internally?

Nothing really. If I were to talk about the differences between my friendships with men vs women, I'd say my male friends are better at problem solving.

I also seek their advice in relationships sometimes. Always good to get a male perspective.

On a day when none of my female friends are available for a day out, I can always rely on my male friends to show up.

I must add that I keep my friendships with men at a superficial level. So they are not as enriching or rewarding as my female friendships.

click to expand

I see. Thanks for your reply!

IDK that is why I desire a male partner.. Men just seem different : D everything about them seems beautiful..

A big factor is, I want a father for my child...

IDK why other than that.. Maybe it is how we can reach the depth or heights of love with man.. When you physically unite, two souls unite on various planes too, and maybe that is possible only with man..

Not to say we cannot love everyone..but, it is different when man and woman merge like that, different dimensions open up..and then growing old together with someone like that must be something..

Guys love to have an attractive female friend but females don't necessarily. I think many females are secretly trying to compete with their best friends. I know my best friend is this way. I know this because when we went to a bar several years ago, a bunch of random guys came over to buy me drinks or try to get my number. After my friend got drunk, she confronted one of those guys and asked him, between the two of us, who was the more attractive one. The guy told her I was more his type because I was more feminine. My friend just bascially fell into her chair when she heard the answer and couldn't hide her disappointment. Of course she didn't remember that because she was drunk, but I do. I think that's kinda scary that your best friend secretly trying to compete with you. Since then, I tried not to tell her too much about my dating life. I just vent to my guy friends instead. 😆

Posted by cheekyfaerie
I tend to think as much like a man as I do a woman. The majority of my hobbies are enjoyed by/with men more than most women. I'm more at ease around my male friends/acquaintances than I am their female counterparts. When I'm hanging out with a group of only women, I feel low level stressed. Like they're going to realize I'm a fraud. An imposter. Like I don't belong.

i could have written this myself

must be a cap + aqua thing. i think like a man and it's hard for me to chit chat for more than 5 mins. nothing i dread more than going to girl getaways. very stressful

I dunno why I like men but I doeh...

Sometimes they smell good.

I particularly enjoy their company when they aren't attracted to me on any level and they don't give a crap what I'm getting up to.

Been lucky to be surrounded by good men, husbands fathers brothers hard workers creatives musicians comedians protectors providers they are good eggs.

Posted by Earthhorse
male energy and female energy are like two different color lights you can still see in the dark with each one and on their own they work fine but when you mix the two you get a third color and thats the relationship its neither male nor female its a mix and that goes to romantic or platonic its just another flavor or color to life

Love this ^^^!!! Spot on!!!

Thank you for your unique perspective. 🙂

Posted by cheekyfaerie
I tend to think as much like a man as I do a woman. The majority of my hobbies are enjoyed by/with men more than most women. I'm more at ease around my male friends/acquaintances than I am their female counterparts. When I'm hanging out with a group of only women, I feel low level stressed. Like they're going to realize I'm a fraud. An imposter. Like I don't belong.

Gosh all of this! I have always had more male friends during my life. When I have tried to build them with females it's rough.

I feel the same as you do at the end, Cheeky. Do you think that has to do with how many women drag each other or tear each other down instead of building each other up? Wonder if that plays a factor.

but to answer your question SirHorns



plain and simple. The D.

You can get all the things you mentioned from females, but the competiveness and cattiness can cause roadblocks. Sure men are physically stronger, but there are some strong women out there!

Males do think and proccess things differently than females. For example: you vent about some bullshit from your day: Men typically try to find a fix or solution, with females : they listen to you rant and rave or even cry offereing that emotional support. Men are more doers vs nurturers in that regard,at least i have found.

But again its about the D.

Posted by Seraphlight

Posted by SirHorns
I'm seriously asking this. What do you get out of relationships (Friendships included) from males that you find risking your mental/emotional/spiritual independence and stability for? Just because your hormones demand you have someone with a Y chromozone that can breed if needed? What do men bring to the table for you mentally, emotionally and spiritually that you can't get for women or from yourself internally?

Hope my question is clear enough for you all to answer without any need for clarification.

Is what men and women give each other really so very different?

click to expand

That's the golden question here.