gemini64
@gemini64
15 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 4 · Posts: 1112 · Topics: 21





Posted by houstonpeach74
What is any of our obsessions with anything about Virgo? Let her ask her question.

Posted by Damnata
What is your obsession with Virgo men and criticism?


Posted by gemini64
or is it a long term, ingrained behavior?
Do they intentionally save this only for those they care about/like/love or is anyone fair game?
Posted by Damnata
What is your obsession with Virgo men and criticism?
Posted by P-Angel
How you are being treated is your responsibility, considering it is your duty to teach a person how to treat you.
My Virgo husband of over 31 years doesn't criticize me.
check yourself

Posted by LilyTree
My Virguy once said, "There has to be trust, Lily. When you trust someone, things don't have to be said in the way you like." This was after he criticized me during a moment at the start of our relationship. At the time, I didn't understand what he meant. But then I grew to understand that his heart was always in the right place. Like HoustonPeach said, he was sharing his perspective and insight based on his own experiences and observations. He never let me think he was an expert on anything. This honesty made me feel that I could genuinely trust him, and there's no better way to feel safe and secure with someone than when you know that will have your back by "keepin' it real", as it were. The only time he got a bit snippity with his criticisms was when he was feeling vulnerable or insecure about something. I noticed that he did that as a defense mechanism to test me. I never pointed it out to him, though. I just reflected on why it was he needed reassuring on, and reassured him.
It was kind of like, "go ahead and have the last candy! You never give me the last candy because that is reserved for people you love!" Me, figuring out that he needs reassurance that I love him, "You know, you're adorable when you pout." *pops candy in mouth with a smirk then gives him a kiss* That way he knows I love him AND he gets some sugar. That's a hypothetical, of course...

Posted by Damnata
^defensive much?
You told us about you virgo male friend and his criticism plenty of times, and got advice about it.
No need to get personal, although that's what geminis excel at so..do your thing I guess.
Posted by Damnata
"How refreshing someone on this site can actually be considerate and empathetic."
LOL


Posted by gemini64
Virgo men nitpick you to death; generally not with the intent to hurt you but make you better. The hard part is seeing them for this premise. What even makes it harder is that when you turn around and say anything critical of them, they go into deep melt down.


Posted by gemini64Posted by LilyTree
My Virguy once said, "There has to be trust, Lily. When you trust someone, things don't have to be said in the way you like." This was after he criticized me during a moment at the start of our relationship. At the time, I didn't understand what he meant. But then I grew to understand that his heart was always in the right place. Like HoustonPeach said, he was sharing his perspective and insight based on his own experiences and observations. He never let me think he was an expert on anything. This honesty made me feel that I could genuinely trust him, and there's no better way to feel safe and secure with someone than when you know that will have your back by "keepin' it real", as it were. The only time he got a bit snippity with his criticisms was when he was feeling vulnerable or insecure about something. I noticed that he did that as a defense mechanism to test me. I never pointed it out to him, though. I just reflected on why it was he needed reassuring on, and reassured him.
It was kind of like, "go ahead and have the last candy! You never give me the last candy because that is reserved for people you love!" Me, figuring out that he needs reassurance that I love him, "You know, you're adorable when you pout." *pops candy in mouth with a smirk then gives him a kiss* That way he knows I love him AND he gets some sugar. That's a hypothetical, of course...
Thank you LilyTree for taking the time to reply with a thorough and honest post. I garnered some great points from it; it was helpful.
How refreshing someone on this site can actually be considerate and empathetic.
You have a great 2014 LT!click to expand


Posted by P-Angel
How you are being treated is your responsibility, considering it is your duty to teach a person how to treat you.
My Virgo husband of over 31 years doesn't criticize me.
check yourself

Posted by Andalusia
No no. This is a brand new issue and question...
Posted by gemini64
or is it a long term, ingrained behavior?
Do they intentionally save this only for those they care about/like/love or is anyone fair game?
Posted by gemini64
Virgo men nitpick you to death; generally not with the intent to hurt you but make you better. The hard part is seeing them for this premise. What even makes it harder is that when you turn around and say anything critical of them, they go into deep melt down.
click to expand

Posted by gemini64
I'm gemini sun and leo moon. I'm extremely loyal with my friends and family. I've been married for 15 years to an awesome scorpio man.
I will go to the nth degree to help you, comfort you, and be there when you need me.
The only time I cut someone loose is when they play mind games as passive - aggressive and treat me with a total lack of respect. I can forgive but
if you can't rise above the petty nonsense of games etc. , I'm moving on. Too old to deal with that crap anymore. Had this happen in the past year with someone I truly loved and admired as a mentor. However, he played the passive -aggressive stuff and refused to acknowledge my marriage. If you intentionally disrespect my marriage, you intentionally disrespect me; and good bye.
Aging isn't always fun, however, it does teach you many things. One is that throughout the years, you know who are your true friends and your true family.
And more isn't always better. Quality for me outweighs quantity every time.


Posted by Andalusia
? From another thread you commented on three days ago...
Posted by gemini64
I'm gemini sun and leo moon. I'm extremely loyal with my friends and family. I've been married for 15 years to an awesome scorpio man.
I will go to the nth degree to help you, comfort you, and be there when you need me.
The only time I cut someone loose is when they play mind games as passive - aggressive and treat me with a total lack of respect. I can forgive but
if you can't rise above the petty nonsense of games etc. , I'm moving on. Too old to deal with that crap anymore. Had this happen in the past year with someone I truly loved and admired as a mentor. However, he played the passive -aggressive stuff and refused to acknowledge my marriage. If you intentionally disrespect my marriage, you intentionally disrespect me; and good bye.
Aging isn't always fun, however, it does teach you many things. One is that throughout the years, you know who are your true friends and your true family.
And more isn't always better. Quality for me outweighs quantity every time.click to expand


Posted by P-AngelPosted by gemini64
or is it a long term, ingrained behavior?
Do they intentionally save this only for those they care about/like/love or is anyone fair game?
You word these ^^^ questions on grounds in which you've already determined that Virgos are inherently critical .... when in reality, it's YOUR fault if you are existing within terms that aren't to your satisfaction.
Classic case of denial going on .... you give a diagnosis to him, so that you don't have to face the real fact here = you aren't directing your life according to your own wishes.
That's YOUR fault, dude .. not his or anyone elses.click to expand


Posted by virgodog58
My Sag ex (and the mother of our child - who is also a Sag) told me a while ago that she used to love me but that she stopped loving me because I criticised too much. I think we Virgos criticise mostly when we are feeling insecure which yes can be often, but certain signs such as Cancers and Tauruses understand this and are good at dealing with it. Some other signs perhaps do not have the patience/ maturity to deal with it and so can bring out our worst side.

Posted by LilyTree
"
Regarding the "testing" you speak of, can you give me an example? I once read that people often test each other subconsciously.

Posted by CluelessCancer
Don't paint all women with the same brush homey, too young, to be a cynic.


Posted by CajunspiritPosted by LilyTree
"
Regarding the "testing" you speak of, can you give me an example? I once read that people often test each other subconsciously.
Going out and telling me about it after.
Going out and not telling me about it.
Going out with someone who we all know has a crush on you to a public place.
Going over by someone who we all know has a crush on you's home.
Keeping your phone on silent and complaining I don't call, after I have grown tired of you not answering.
Getting caught spending time with your exes, when I have not set such a precedent.
Taking my words out of context and creating your own masochistic fantasy.
Expecting me to do A,B,C yet never make it aware you want me to do A,B,C.
I have come to the conclusion women not only want to be lied to, they thrive on it to meet their emotional security. An honest and logical man is not prone to tell you what you want to hear, only what he can do within his means and limited to reality.
That's why so many end up with men that promise them the world and fail to deliver. The temporary thrill spurs them on and on, into the cold wall of reality.click to expand

Posted by virgokingIt true we live in the age of ratchet hoes you got to do what you got to do real talk.click to expand
Hope everything is good with you holmes.

Posted by CajunspiritPosted by virgokingIt true we live in the age of ratchet hoes you got to do what you got to do real talk.
Hope everything is good with you holmes.click to expand
I'm good but its true you have to lie trust me I tried it. Your life runs smother with when you lie sad but true.

Posted by virgoking
I'm good but its true you have to lie trust me I tried it. Your life runs smother with when you lie sad but true.
Posted by LilyTree
I'm not defending any of the above behavior, but may I ask: have you communicated to them that the above listed behavior bothers you? Yes, it would appear that that is common sense/courtesy not to engage in such behavior, but you know what they say about common sense these days. Also, often times, people fail to clearly and directly declare what it is he/she wants from her/his partner.click to expand

1) Either the person doesn't want to come off as demanding
2) The person feels their wants are so minuscule that surely they can overlook them because they love their partner and should accept their partner, and to point out such simple details may make her/him come off as petty
3) (s)he thinks that the partner should just KNOW because they're in love and love means you can read minds
4) (s)he just never thinks to tell the partner and it doesn't ever cross their mind that when they leave the toothpaste cap off it leaves an emotional scar
I don't know how old you are, but I often feel I don't fit in with my age group. When I took a psychological test and was told that mentally I'm a decade older than my actual age, it all made sense. There is an art to being in a rel

Posted by LilyTree
May I ask why you tolerated such behavior? Did you love her?
I don't know if it's an Aries specific thing or what, but my girlfriends used to tease that I was like a man in that I got much more joy out of being the one giving gifts rather than receiving them. Unless we're married, or unless it's a rare special occasion, I don't believe a man should pay for anything; dating couples of x number of years should go Dutch.
I am guilty of what you speak of; only I don't think I twisted what he said, I just was stubborn and adamant about being positive while he was the logical and realistic one. If he voiced a concern, I would then talk about the positive side.
But I do not prefer to be lied to. It's important that he was honest with me, and I very much appreciate that.click to expand

Posted by LilyTree
Relationships are WORK. But it seems that some people just want the rewards without the responsibilities.
I feel that people don't communicate well. The irony is that with all the social networks, people are less socially adapted than ever. And, yes, critical thinking skills is becoming a lost art. I have my shortcomings, too.
There is good in the world, and there are good people.







Posted by CluelessCancer
Its the AGE Group, young women have all the POWER in the world. As soon as they hit 27-28 that power is NIL, it's gone, then the MEN have all the POWER. Unfortunately by then the MEN are so bitter that they treat any women they come across horribly....and paint all women the same.
you have to understand young women have dick thrown to them from all angles, whereas MEN get it LATER on---late 20's EARLY 30s..it's your time.
Posted by CluelessCancer
CajunSpirit even though your 25 you are way more MATURE then my X Virgo. I could just tell from your words. You are way more honest it seems.click to expand

Posted by justagirl
Women are not all the same, just like all men are not the same. Sounds like you got worked over bad with your sag. That is unfortunate to have someone do that to another person, especially if they aren't even aware that they are doing it.
Sadly I think a lot has to do with the generation like a few mentioned already. There are major entitlement issues in play and relationships aren't treated the same as they used to be. It should be 100/100 give and take from BOTH parties. I don't expect my partner to do it all, but I also am from an older generation.
I also realize even in love you can't read minds- communication is so underrated by the younger generation- yes we are in "lovvvve" so of course he/she should already know what I want. Sorry it does NOT work that way. I blame Disney and media- they bash it into young girls heads that if you are x,y,z then the man of your dreams is going to come sweep you off your feet and know everything about you.
It's sad really.

Posted by TaurusBull1977
@CajunSpirit---
Sounds like incompatibility issues. The both of you are mutable signs, and maybe somehow convinced that the problems in the relationship could be worked on.
You may not admit it, but my gut instinct tells me you were just as unhappy in that relationship...
The only difference?
The Sag did something about it.
Is that what's really bothering you?
That you stayed and compromised for the sake of the relationship...
...And she did not?
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Do they intentionally save this only for those they care about/like/love or is anyone fair game?