If you leave a virgo ? (Page 2)

^^^^^ and there's no guarantee that once an arrangement of marriage has been obtained, that you WILL be able to feel him.


And I think you know this ... this is why you are hung, grasping at crumbs, trying to turn them into meaning.

It doesn't sound to me so much as disrespecting arranged marriages, as much as it sounds like he is trying to get her to understand that she clings to false hope.

Be aware of false hope, they are broken promises.

I too, would likely feel the same way if I found myself so trapped in having this kind of reality to live. Here is a man to whom she can feel, deeply, apparantly, and would desperately WANT him to want her so she could have a reality based around feeling, rather than a business deal.

It may sound like his way of telling her this is wrong, however, we don't know in what other ways he tried to tell her gently before now.

We only know what she tells us. It's possible he has been trying to help her to see the light of her fear, so that she will make her own life, rather than feel prey to one arranged for her.

I see.

Still, it's holding onto false hope on her end.

She cannot make this man. None of us can make any other.

To hold onto a false hope, leads nowhwere except a broken promise.

If this man cannot love her the way she needs to be loved ... then all of this precious energy she puts in him is for nothing, the only outcome is a broken heart.

I don't understand why women don't understand this.

If a man is NOT the one .... fold, even if your holding pocket Aces .. and walk away with some dignity.

yes _ feel depressed ._ contacted him because _ found it unbearable to not to hear about him , his being away.it was too much pain. yes he severaltimes told me the same things about living what life brings to u , what passion brings to u ._ dont want an arranged marriage , _ cant marry someone who _ dont love too much. becuse _ am not suitable for marriage _ think ._ cant cook , _ cant do any houseworrk , _ am toooo sensitive so for to maintain a marriage _ have to love the man toooo much.he was the one _ felt too much love and passion .but _ give up . but _ must say that yes u keep on hold_ng on false hopes if u love the person still, if u didnt break up becuse of the degenerastion in the relation ship , and if u didnt have a big quarrel , _f u didnt loose ur respect to each other , if u didnt have s. and than dumped eachother , it becomes very difficult to lose all ur hope on that man.

and one month ago when he called me , he called me ''my life '' which words _ l_ke the most to hear from him.as if that 6 months didnt pass.he invited me his city , home . _ said no .maybe he wanted to see if there is a hope to live the relationship that he wants to . but there is not . _ will never have s. with him or with anyone if theres not a marriage commitment . and he knows that _ am still the same woman and _ still have the same values and _ wont change them for that _ still love him and miss him .so _ cant see any lack of dignity in this situat_on p - angel . well _ dont think that tell_ng someone that u love him is a lack of self respect leo-kitten. well if _ had cried to him '' oh my love please turn to me , _ will do whatever u want to gain ur love this time '' , than it would have been a lack of self respect and dignity.

and thank u all for the posts. _ just want to make the subject more clear .

🙂 _ will attend a tango class leo kitten ._ hope _ can find a man who can cook better than me .

not at the tango class 🙂

''what do you think about 'arranged marriages'? Have you sometimes had doubts on it?
Does his and your family know that he disrespects 'arranged marriage' or your 'waiting until marriage'? Did they all know it before, in the three past years?''
likebrad - _ dont want an arranged marr_age , am not against that but _ want to love first.yes his family , his mother knows that _ want to wait till marriage and that he pressured me not to wait.yes , from the beginning he knows my values and what k_nd of a girl _ am .

You don't need to cook or clean house to be a valuable partner to another, lbr ... if you let yourself be measured like that then your life with a man will be a station for serving.

First loves are hard, there's a learning curve for every person .. and it's not an easy one. You can't make this man regard you any differently than how he is going to. If you do things to make impressions upon him, then this means you are compromising your own values.

The bottom line .. this man is not worthy of you, if he talks a sweet line, while laying with another woman, lbr. And this is the problem that I see here .. it's the problem I see with most women who come in here with man-issues.


A man isn't worthy simply because you feel for him ... he is worthy because he honors you respectfully.

It's very disturbing .. the volume of women who come in here to describe a man who is a complete loser, and then fret about why he doesn't value her ... when in reality, this is a loser-man that she is trying to bind herself to, but, because she feels him, she has herself fooled into believing he's a gold-mine.

Very, very disturbing.

ieokitten _ will focus on myself yes , and sometime in the future _ w_ll learn to cook. _ wont call him or text him yes but _ ma not sure if _ can forget about him or forget that _ love him.
cause he is the first real man ( _ was used to love from distance) _ loved. _ let him cuddle me , _ hold his hands ,yes _ am 31 years old but he is the first real experience of love in my life. so thats why _ am not sure that _ can forget h_m totally .and unfortunately he was handsome 😢._t would be easier to forget about him if he wasnt that handsome😢 _ am a libra and appreciate beauty too much . but _ have to learn that beauty inside is more important.

p angel its love which make all these woman become blind about the losers they love .just love . u cant somet_mes choose who to love. _f u colud there wouldnt be a thing we call love . there wouldnt be the desperate love songs and movies . didnt u ever love a wrong man in your l_fe ? never ?

No, never.


My perspective is different from others.

Share with the other whatever there is to share, and never expect anything more. If more is expected then what they are able to give, then I will lead myself to having false hopes. If I embrace whatever it is we have to share with each other, and enjoy it to the fullest without looking for more ... then all memories of being with this person are precious.

And you have the ability to do this also. This man is your first love. From him, you are able to recognize this side of you. Sometimes, people are only in our lives to teach us something we need to know about ourselves.

You are 31 years old, as thus far (before him) .. you didn't know what it felt like to hold hands, cuddle, share moments. Take these experiences and walk away while they still leave you with fond memories. If you cling onto something because you want more, in which he cannot give you .. then this life experience will be a waste for you because none of your memories of this experience will be cherished.


Perspective ..............

_ want to ask u more about your private life but _t may be a fight of thoughts . and _ dont love fights. _ know that u all want to help the one here who can not see the '' reality '' becuse they are too emotional and love blind. and _ take ur posts as someth_ng my mom says ( _ know that u are not that old ). but if u make the women fell that they are not wise or they are too stupid to cling on the wrong man , they will not able to understand ur perspective. and they may become more depressive of someoen tell_nf them that they are idiots.
and again thank u all for ur posts and the energy u put on to write them . _f u didnt find the women here all idiots u wouldnt waste ur time to show them the right way to go .

I don't believe that people are idiots, however, I believe that people do idiotic things in life because of confused emotions.

Sometimes, we have to be broken vessels. When we are at our lowest, is when we sometimes realize we need to be mended. It's easy for people to accept pains, then it is to release themselves from these pains.

Sorry if you feel like an idiot .. but, sometimes, feeling like a fool is what is necessary to realize that foolishness exists. If we never error, then how will we know the difference between right and wrong?

I don't think you're an idiot .. however, I do believe that you are putting stock in a man who is not worthy of you, and making an excuse for it by saying it's ok because you are love blind.

To acknowledge the love-blindness is not blindness at all .. it's an awareness to your consciousness to know you have erred in your judgement of him, in the aspect of his intentions with you. To continue making an excuse to allow yourself to sink further into this despair is an idiotic thing to do .. very foolish.

We are suppose to learn in life ... some of our life experiences are in place for this very learning. If a person refuses to look at their lesson and continues to make an excuse as to why they are in grief, using expressions to suggest that thier path is beyond their control and call it "love" ..... then there's no place for your feelings to go except in deeper despair.

You will get past this man, and this pain. It may not seem like it because it cuts so deep, but you will.

so.....where to start to find actual love? you have to start with you....you have to go to a journal...you have to write down all the things you have accomplished for yourself in 31 yrs....you have to make a list of what YOU want to do in the next ten.

then make a separate list...of all the values you cherish.

then...connect activities in your life to those values.

then go live those activities.

realize who YOU are as an individual and the person who you are supposed to LOVE...and who will actually love you...that person will appear.

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Thank you, leokitten. For some reason, your above words spoke to me, eventhough I know you were talking to lbr. I'm not sure why they moved me, but, they did. I guess I was also in need of hearing them.

Thank you 🙂

well, thank u all .p-angel _ dont feel like an idiot , _ never did ._ wont continue trying to make a future with him .but now, here , _ can not hate him or feel indifference of him._ cant get angry to him. yes , _ idealise love , yes _ never let our relationship a real one , _ stayed distant , avoid physical contacts , _ wanted to live the rel. from long distance , _t was ok for me to hear him on the phone , _ never wanted more but he did , he wanted more than that which _ couldnt give. _ d_dnt want to put my rel. in reality maybe beside my belief , it also was because my fear of the colapse or failure in love which _ idealise too much. _ acted like a small, scared girl , which he never could understand. leo kitten - _ dont think that hold_ng hands and cuddl_ng is love 🙂 no ofcourse its not. _ just want to tell why _ got stuck to a man seem to be aloser , why _ make him bigger bigger in my eyes , cause he was real 🙂 _ know it sounds funny but _ always loved somebody platonically. and _ tried to live a semiplatonic rel. with a man full of passion ( sexual drive), _ tried to live a asexual rel with him. _ never think that he didnt love me , he loved me but in his way .

leoktten-_ want tango _ find it extremely estetic , beautifull _ mean . yes _ always want to leran it. not for new man , _f _ were in that mind _ wouldn blindly fall for him . _ would date many man to forget him but _ will not _ dont find iit right.

thank u for all . maybe _ wont be able to be in this side anymore cause at the office the its banned this sites 😢 .

oh what an english 🙂 poor me . sorry the psot is full of mistakes but ur native speakers , sure u can understand.

Your handle on the English language is just fine, lbr .... we understand everything you are trying to say. 🙂

thank u 🙂. _ read the other posts , u wont agree with me but _ think women who are interested in virgo men are really smart. they have big brains🙂.

"_ read the other posts , u wont agree with me but _ think women who are interested in virgo men are really smart. they have big brains"



You are right, I don't agree with that. 🙂


I don't think being interested in a person based on sun sign makes a woman smart at all .. on the contrary. I think what makes a woman smart is that she is interested in a man where both parties are complimentary to each other harmoniously, irrespective of sun sign.

People are fucked up, and people are awesome, people are inbetween .. and none of those are a condition of sun sign .. they are a condition of an individuals personal attitude, values, morals .. and sun sign doesn't really play a part in this conditioning.

People also, as it pertains to the above paragraph, can be complete assholes for one person, while a gold-mine for another. Trash to one person might be a treasure to another ... because people bring out different qualities of someone else within the same person.

_ didnt mean that._ read the posts , well _ f_nd most of woman here smart . not for that they are interested in virgo , becuse _ read virgo board and _ see most of the girls here are smart , _ just made a generalization. and _ just wanted to copmliment on you all 🙂.

hi , after a month _ am here again. for the ones who knows the subject _ will add something.
a new film was on vision._t was telling about a man who _ think is like my virguy . the film was about a man who loses his chance to be a very good girl because of his fear of losing his liberty of living a bad life.when _ heart and read about the film , it remineded me of him. and _ began to say if he will not call me after he watches the film than he would never ever call me again.days past my hopes fell down. but two weeks after _ called him ( u know that bad call ) he called me .
me*hi
virguy* hi , _ts me ,x.
m* _ know , how are u?
v* _ watched a film and wanted to call u.
m* is that '' lonely man ''.
v* yes
m*_ want to see it but am afraid to become depressed after watch_ng so _ th_nk _ will not see it.
v*see it. _t will make u understand me better ._f _t still has an importence for u.
m* _ dont need to see it to understand u. _ always did .and _ never accused u for anything.
v* anyway _ watched the film and it reminded me of u and _ wanted to call. _ thought many things.saw many things in the film.
m* never forget me ok ?
v* is it possible to forget about u , no _ dont think so , never .
m* x ,_ love u.
v*_ love u.
v* now _ will close the phone , _ have to think and be alone now.
m* ok , take care.

now, its been 1 month after this call. _ didnt call him , didnt do anythi,ng about him . and he didnt call ,too. _ feel did everythi,ng there has been nothing left to do. _ still love him , miss him too much .but _ wont do anything .