I'm so confused please I need some advice

I am a Gemini I have been dating this Virgo guy almost two months I have known him for almost ten year only because he dated someone I had known but they broke up about three years ago n she since has gotten married n had a baby with her new hubby now

I recently moved back to Maryland n we both started hanging out just as friends only then eventually maybe a month later we both realize the chemistry between us was so intense every weekend may it be on a Friday or Saturday he would pick me up we would go out to eat n have drink or sometimes we would go out for ice cream just spend time w each other he's always a gentleman so respectful I love everything about him a month into Hanging out together we kissed started holding hands then few weeks later I mention to him I wanted us to date but I didn't want to date him n date other guys he said he wanted us to be exclusive I was so happy because I didn't want him to date other women either

Everything was going great then all of a sudden I felt him pulling away I felt like he's being distant I don't understand I asks is everything ok he said yes baby why I said I just feel like your a little detach from me he assured me everything was ok but I can't help but feel like something is wrong

One minutes he's all over me I miss u I can't wait to see u or we go out n do fun stuff on weekends then sometimes he seem distant less texting he doesn't even say good morning baby like he use to do as in text every morning I wake up was always a text

Also sometimes when we are intimate he would just stare at me just stare I'm always wondering what is he thinking I don't know I said are u ok baby he said yes I am why I said you just give me these intense look he said oh I'm sorry

I'm really into him n he knows this I tell him all the time I'm nice to him we don't agree or fight at all I love when he comes to visit me he's 6'4 I'm 5'3 so he's very tall he picks me up wrap his hands around my waist n kisses me so passionately it's just beautiful he give me the butterflies every time I see him or he kisses or touch me he's everything I want in a man but he confuses me sometimes w the whole distant thing sometimes or the hot/cold behavior

I have had my heart broken many times n I'm so scared this time I don't want to get hurt I said to him one day while we were just laying there talking I said please don't hurt me then he said I wouldn't baby

How is his family situation? His work?

Well he's a single dad he moved back in w family to save to get a house for himself n daughter

I remember when we first starting liking each other I told him if we do get intimate I don't want to do the fwb thing I wanted something more meaningful this was his response



I don't want to be fwb I wanted to talk to you In person I want us to be together. I don't want to be with anyone else but you. We started things slow and that's good for both of us but I like you and want us to be exclusive.

I want you to know that I except all that you are you being bisexual is part of you. I don't want you to feel like you can't look at a beautiful woman I have no problems with that I just like to joke around with you just like you do with me. I don't take offense when we joke around together I like that part of what we have together

Don't worry your not pushing me away or freaking me out we both want the same thing. I miss you baby

This is another email from him


. I like you a lot and i dont want to anything to hurt you or make you feel bad you are the only woman i want to be with. I look forward to spending more time with you and getting to know you more i love spending time with you and thank you for telling me how you feel. I am always here for you and i wont get mad at how your feeling i would rather you talk to me about it so we can work it out if a problem does arise. I will do the same thing i feel comfortable talking to you and that makes me happy you make me happy

I only want you with me and no one else. I want out relationship to grow and us to become closer and i will do my best to make that happen for us.

I really think this is going well.

Why are you worried? Have faith.

I'm so confuse like his words n actions are two different things I'm confuse I don't know what to do Thursday night he came over n we went out for couple hours fun time we had but I said I don't want u to feel smothered do u feel like I'm smothering u he said no baby I said do u want an open relationship he said wait wait no way he said to see u with another guy or kissing another guy he said I'm getting sick just even thinking about it he said no it's just u n me that's it but sometimes I just feel like he's detach from me it's not like when we first meet but when we are together he's all over me kissing holding hands open car door but sometimes he's so different I just don't understand it

Honestly I think even though him n his ex broke up three years ago I feel like he still has feelings for her but she is married now n with her new hub she had a baby w him I don't know it's just this feeling I have I asked him he said he doesn't have feelings for her but on his Facebook he is always posting these sad songs n the lyrics tells a lot they were together 10 years she had a baby for him then couple years later I guess they broke up because she cheated on him w several guys n was doing drugs he was done a her he said I can't have that around my daughter but something doesn't feel right I feel like there is still something there

Why do you keep on bringing up the open relationship idea?

To me it looks like you're self sabotaging this. Like a preemptive strike to end things before he gets the chance to hurt you like the people in the past. That's counterproductive. Breathe and take it one moment at a time. Nothing wrong happened.

I don't want an open relationship the only reason I asked him it's because after I mention to him I want to date him n date him only I don't want to date him n date other people n he said he felt the same couple days later he got so distant less text less talking quiet very quiet just so different so I'm thinking maybe I freaked him out so that's why I asks him if he wanted to date but see other people it was only a question one thing he said to me he likes how we communicate I talk to him about anything I don't hide anything I just have been feeling lately for the pass two weeks like it changing I don't know

Trust me I'm 100% invested in this relationship
He makes me smile all the time he's funny he gives me the butterflies every single time I see him but I'm also not in tune w my feelings have u ever felt like something is wrong but just can't figure it out or put your hands on it that's how I feel I don't know I can't explain it anymore it scares me because I like him ALOT!

I can tell you like him. I am not doubting that.

See, it makes sense for me that after the commitment discussion happened, he was distant. Things turn real => Virgo goes into analysis mode to figure out how to incorporate that person into our lives. There's a lot of thinking going on. This isn't a bad thing. We mold ourselves after our partners so we analyze how we fit into their lives, how they fit into our lives.

If someone goes distant, the natural question is "Hey, what's up? Is something wrong?", not something along the lines of "Are you sure you don't want an open relationship?". My mind would be like "Uhm..we already discussed this. Maybe SHE is the one who wants an open relationship after all because I made my stance clear already so I don't get why the topic is being brought up again."

You mentioned you feel a change in vibe. I'm not saying the vibe isn't legit because I don't know him but for the time being, I really see no red flags for his behavior. I would chill and let it flow. If something is amiss, it will reveal itself. You guys seem to have a good connection, nurture that connection and not the doubt.

I always talk to him he said he loves that about me I'm a Gemini I'm big on communication however at first I was scared to talk to him because I had read so many things about Virgos n they like their space they are perfectionist very critical can be sensitive but very loyal w the right person etc then can u explain to me about the whole staring thing it's so intense I don't know what's that about sometimes I would catch him just staring don't know what he's thinking I asks r u ok baby he's like yes why I said the way u were looking at me he even does it when we are intimate just looks at me I can't explain it but a few people tell me Virgos do that sometimes they are trying to figure u out etc

I didn't think the commitment thing would scare him off because he said he didn't want us dating others he said just thinkin about u with another guy just makes me wanna throw up he was like no just get that thought out of your mind he's said I do not want an open relationship I don't want to go out w other women n u no other men only me so I don't know why he would be scared

Then few days ago he said baby can u get on Facebook so I did n he sent me a request he put in a relationship w me I was so happy

Happy is really not the word

You are insecure about him and you end up asking too many questions to him which reveals your insecurity.
Maybe he feels tied down. Give him space and have your's too.
If he dosen't send good morning message to you every morning, it's ok. Not a big deal. He has a daughter to look after
and may have other responsibilities as well. Both of you always have good time together, as you have said, that's more important.
He is also giving you assurance regarding your relationship, that's cool. So just relax.

Kalin...

I'm not insecure but then again u don't know me let me tell you something sometimes women have something call intuition n just lately I have been getting these feelings because of the sudden change in a lot of things don't judge me u have no clue n I wouldn't make these feelings up its something I sense n I just join this group to get some advice you are entitle of your own opinion yes but I'm going w a feeling I have n it has nothing to do w me being insecure because I'm not an insecure person

JustALeo

Thanks for being a little more understanding

Tanya jones
I understand what your saying but I also have a child
Also I dot expect him to text me every morning that's not what I was saying he doesn't have to but we have only been dating two months n I just notice a huge change in something's n I just wanted to talk about it because I had some concerns I didn't think I would get on here n get my head chewed off I respect your opinion but geez don't make it seem like I'm not understanding because if I post half of his emails in here that he sends me he said he likes the fact I am understanding n he loves that I communicate w him something he couldn't do in his last relationship trust me I don't give him a hard time I'm always trying to make him happy n please him but I will tell u Virgos are a WORK. N sometimes very confusing

I'm just going to take a step back n give him some space he said he didn't want that but I'm just going to let him contact me or just say hi to him asks him how his day is then give him a lil space it's hard for me because I always want to talk to him I'm a Gemini n we love to talk so yes this will be hard I don't know I know when I'm in a new relationship or most people they want to hang out or talk or text more than likely but maybe he's different I can tell he likes his space sometimes so I'm just going to chill n when he's ready he will come to me

I remember last week I said hi baby have a great day at wrk I miss u
He responded n said thanks baby I miss u to then I didn't text him for about five hours because I know he gets busy at wrk n I didn't want to bother him then he text me saying I didn't hear from u all day are u ok

I feel like I can't win here I'm so confuse

Posted by dontgetmewrongthat fb stuff is a big no no. Need to get to the bottom of that.

What fb stuff is a no-no? Him stating he is in a relationship with OP? What is wrong with that.

Virgos stare as much as Scorpios do btw.

Posted by Kim01
I can tell he likes his space sometimes so I'm just going to chill n when he's ready he will come to me

Exactly.

Ok virgoflirt

So your saying what?

Dontgetmewrong

I understand what your saying n I agree everyone need space I'm a single mom to of a 15 year old so I know about wanting alone time but when it's new it hasn't even been nine weeks I mean when it's something new don't u want to always talk to that person see how they doing etc I mean maybe I'm crazy but I know in past relationship I have wanted to be close n people wanted to be close to me but guess everyone or every relationship is different

VirgoFlirt

😢

That makes me really sad

K

He is doing the Virgo thing. He's forced temporarily to live with his parents and has a daughter.

His FIRST priority is getting back on his feet and taking care of his daughter and buying a home which is ALOT, yet he seems like he is giving you a great deal of time, effort and reassurance while taking care of his priorities. I don't see ANYTHING wrong with what he's doing under these circumstances. He's not single and free. You need to stop sabotaging this relationship and SEE what this man has on his plate. If you continue to whine and nag about your issues, he's gonna back completely off. Appreciate him, and support him mentally with his efforts. If he wanted no future with you HE WOULD TELL YOU.

Posted by Kim01
I'm just going to take a step back n give him some space he said he didn't want that but I'm just going to let him contact me or just say hi to him asks him how his day is then give him a lil space it's hard for me because I always want to talk to him I'm a Gemini n we love to talk so yes this will be hard I don't know I know when I'm in a new relationship or most people they want to hang out or talk or text more than likely but maybe he's different I can tell he likes his space sometimes so I'm just going to chill n when he's ready he will come to me

I remember last week I said hi baby have a great day at wrk I miss u
He responded n said thanks baby I miss u to then I didn't text him for about five hours because I know he gets busy at wrk n I didn't want to bother him then he text me saying I didn't hear from u all day are u ok

I feel like I can't win here I'm so confuse

Yea....right there^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ insecurity and games. You go ahead and step back hun. Make sure there's no potholes behind you. smfh

OP, wanted to read all your comments first, and there are a couple of things that make me shake my head and say noooooooooo, please don't do that. 🙂
Others have mentioned it, maybe not in a compassionate way....

You have to try and remain consistent and don't mirror him too much which is what we gems tend to do. It's good that you voice you concerns, but don't say the same thing over and over. To them asked and answered.

Don't take a step too far back and change how you do things without letting him know as they tend to think that you are playing a game. They like certainty as much as possible and want to know what to expect and don't want to worry about more things especially if it has already been established.

They have a lot of pride, they just don't beat their chest like other signs..... and they are also usually great at prioritizing and compartmentalizing. So what you're worrying about he probably doesn't have time to entertain it. I think they tend to check things off their list once it's been taken care of to them and then on to the next thing that needs their attention. Thinking that you should be ok with it as well....just focus on yourself and your needs. He'll expect you to be doing that without neglecting him....even if he's doing it to you. 🙂

...and if he's still pining for his ex...well you'll eventually know. Hope that's not the case, so don't overthink things as gems tend to do. You'll drive yourself crazy and ruin your relationship from constantly analyzing every single comment and action. 🙂

Ok busyeyes

Maybe he can't handle your grammar. For example:

".... talk to that person see how they doing"

It's NOT "how they doing" ... it's "how are they doing"

You talk ghetto. Have you ever been introduced to punctuation marks?

Here you go K01, hope others can help you with it as I'm still learning....

Sun Gemini 18.26
Moon Aquarius 10.50
Mercury Cancer 11.04
Venus Taurus 10.51
Mars Leo 0.23
Jupiter Pisces 16.38
Saturn Cancer 5.38
Uranus Libra 23.52 R
Neptune Sagittarius 7.58 R
Pluto Libra 4.05 R
Lilith Aquarius 3.12
Asc node Sagittarius 19.22

HIM

Sun Virgo 13.30
Moon Virgo 7.13
Mercury Virgo 29.46 R
Venus Leo 24.49 R
Mars Leo 15.21
Jupiter Sagittarius 3.20
Saturn Scorpio 1.09
Uranus Sagittarius 5.19
Neptune Sagittarius 26.29 R
Pluto Libra 27.44
Lilith Aquarius 19.18
Asc node Gemini 20.59

Posted by gemeliorist
Here you go K01, hope others can help you with it as I'm still learning....

Sun Gemini 18.26
Moon Aquarius 10.50
Mercury Cancer 11.04
Venus Taurus 10.51
Mars Leo 0.23
Jupiter Pisces 16.38
Saturn Cancer 5.38
Uranus Libra 23.52 R
Neptune Sagittarius 7.58 R
Pluto Libra 4.05 R
Lilith Aquarius 3.12
Asc node Sagittarius 19.22

HIM

Sun Virgo 13.30
Moon Virgo 7.13
Mercury Virgo 29.46 R
Venus Leo 24.49 R
Mars Leo 15.21
Jupiter Sagittarius 3.20
Saturn Scorpio 1.09
Uranus Sagittarius 5.19
Neptune Sagittarius 26.29 R
Pluto Libra 27.44
Lilith Aquarius 19.18
Asc node Gemini 20.59

Ahh funny! The guy was born one day before me 🙂 and Im also in a relationship with a Gemini!