Seeking Perspective: Ex Reaching Out After 8 Years He was born in 20th of september 1973 (Page 2)

Some men and women are incapable of being alone. I know people who’ve never lived alone till their spouse leaves or passes on and they’re alone for the first time and floored … not good

Posted by Dastard2020

Posted by SassyKiwi
It’s obvious you’re currently not in a relationship. If you were, would your partner have liked you considering meeting up with this married ex just for the sake of closure after over a decade? It would speak volume about how you claim to move on from your past and potentially jeopardize the relationship.

If this is truly with “clean intentions” as you claim, then he shouldn’t be hiding any of this from his wife. In fact, it should be ok for his wife to show up at whatever meeting you’re fantasizing about because it’s all innocent, right?

But of course this "closure" is not as innocent as she claims. At the very least it's emotional cheating.

click to expand

She wanted perspective, I gave her a different one and wanted to gauge her reaction to it but her lack of response to it tells me about her intentions. Whether she likes to admit or not, she wouldn’t mind if this “innocent” meetup she’s fantasizing about ends up causing them to rekindle their past relationship. It seems like she thinks she has nothing more to lose (besides any dignity she has left of course). I feel like her knowing he filed for divorce further justifies it in her head for being ok to proceed with things but I’d caution, “Those in the process of a divorce should be aware that they can be accused of adultery even after they have made the decision to officially end their relationship. Technically, you are legally married until your divorce is finalized, so dating before that time could prove to be problematic (complicates any negotiation that has to happen to settle the divorce).”

The facts here are this guy will definitely be taken to the cleaners (he has two very young kids). He’s accepted that fate and reached out to OP who has no kids, no serious relationship as far as the dude is aware, and has probably been able to save up well all these years vs him (kids are very expensive pre and post divorce). He’s definitely setting himself for a cushy backup plan and he’s pulling the oldest trick in the book of emotionally manipulating OP and she’s falling for it. The reality is this very soon to be super broke 50 year old dude is going to get no better chance than OP. If she thinks he’s matured much from when he was 40, she’s beyond naive than someone who at least has an excuse for being in their 20s. It’s starting to be very clear on why the ex reached out. He felt the OP would be easy. All he has to do is type cheap words.

If I was OP, I’d never for a moment entertain rekindling with someone at rock bottom cause I’d deserve someone at their best but we all accept what we think we deserve.

Posted by SassyKiwi

Posted by Dastard2020

Posted by SassyKiwi
It’s obvious you’re currently not in a relationship. If you were, would your partner have liked you considering meeting up with this married ex just for the sake of closure after over a decade? It would speak volume about how you claim to move on from your past and potentially jeopardize the relationship.
If this is truly with “clean intentions” as you claim, then he shouldn’t be hiding any of this from his wife. In fact, it should be ok for his wife to show up at whatever meeting you’re fantasizing about because it’s all innocent, right?

But of course this "closure" is not as innocent as she claims. At the very least it's emotional cheating.
click to expand

She wanted perspective, I gave her a different one and wanted to gauge her reaction to it but her lack of response to it tells me about her intentions. Whether she likes to admit or not, she wouldn’t mind if this “innocent” meetup she’s fantasizing about ends up causing them to rekindle their past relationship. It seems like she thinks she has nothing more to lose (besides any dignity she has left of course). I feel like her knowing he filed for divorce further justifies it in her head for being ok to proceed with things but I’d caution, “Those in the process of a divorce should be aware that they can be accused of adultery even after they have made the decision to officially end their relationship. Technically, you are legally married until your divorce is finalized, so dating before that time could prove to be problematic (complicates any negotiation that has to happen to settle the divorce).”

The facts here are this guy will definitely be taken to the cleaners (he has two very young kids). He’s accepted that fate and reached out to OP who has no kids, no serious relationship as far as the dude is aware, and has probably been able to save up well all these years vs him (kids are very expensive pre and post divorce). He’s definitely setting himself for a cushy backup plan and he’s pulling the oldest trick in the book of emotionally manipulating OP and she’s falling for it. The reality is this very soon to be super broke 50 year old dude is going to get no better chance than OP. If she thinks he’s matured much from when he was 40, she’s beyond naive than someone who at least has an excuse for being in their 20s. It’s starting to be very clear on why the ex reached out. He felt the OP would be easy. All he has to do is type cheap words.

If I was OP, I’d never for a moment entertain rekindling with someone at rock bottom cause I’d deserve someone at their best but we all accept what we think we deserve.

click to expand

Yes i hear you loud and clear.

Still i have no ill intentions.

I really dont.

You are right and ur explaination make sense for me.

For u to know if i was having bad intentions

I would move our tchat to whatsapp

I didnt do that

I didnt give him my phone number.

Did u think that am going to meet him to have an intimate relationship?

Never crossed my mind.

Im a strong believer of karma.