Sex! Affection! WHERE is it?!

Virgos! I give up...what am I supposed to do to get just a *little* affection here?
Let alone sex...I feel so alone in this relationship.

I am Libra female and he is Virgo male and I can't figure out how to
get this man to give it up to save my life! Ok there is one way (head anyone?)
but I ALWAYS have to initiate!

I'm about to throw in the towel, but. My Venus in Scorpio is making
that very difficult to do indeed. He says he loves me, but I cant shake the
feeling that he is not anywhere near *in* love with me...

Which is fine, but does that mean I'll always be fighting tooth and nail
for even the most minute amount of affection?

I feel like his younger sister, not his lover.

Mocha

P.S. Its been 6 months

Hey im a libra female with venus in scorpio too! it took me 5 dates with my guy just to get a kiss goodnight! not used to this behaviour at all, but ive decided to try and look at it as being a good thing. It's not often you find a guy who doesnt just want to jump straight into bed with you, just better be worth it when he finaly gives it up 😉 lol

Mr. Defense

He knows he can have me anytime, he knows I'm dying for it.
He's preoccupied with making money at the moment and I can't get the time of day...

P.S. I'm in ATL too tho, I wish you could appear out of nowhere and coach me...

^^that sounds about as desperate as I am...geez, sorry, it's just been soooo long...

Mocha

AGAIN?! Cripes woman, march in there, grab him by his manhood and tell him to cough it the hell UP. Shit, Virgo is NOT this hard to figure out. Throw down with him, tell him you're gagging for it. Go home with hell on your heels and fire in your heart and OWN that buck.

@venusianbull I know...again. I guess its time to acknowledge that he'd prefer
me as a platonic friend...I just don't know...

@gemtaur, I wish I had a trenchcoat, and I wish he didn't
have a roommate...

Oh yeah and yet he wants to move in together! I'm
thinking, no way is this going to work if I live with him and STILL
can't get any...especially any that I DON'T have to initiate...

ive herad that once you get the ball rolling with virgo's they will really supprise you with there sexual appetite. Maybe he just respects you too much, maybe you need to show him the "lady in the street, freak in the sheets" image

I blame my cancer moon for making me a wack seductress, but its only
because I'm used to a man being blatant with his desire, the absence of it makes
me feel rejected and unwanted, which takes my confidence down, which means no nookie
since he only initiates when inebriated...

I'll give it one more shot.

Mocha

mocha you are actually scaring me i have a cancer moon too! you are my twin!! lol

Rather partial to 9 1/2 Weeks m'self.

LOL catguy! 🙂

mocha~ And may I suggest thigh high stockings, garter belt, crotchless knickers and one rocking corset. Nothing at all works of course. But there is power in the whole process as each layer goes on. And as each one comes off.

Lol I'll do it! But I don't think this will last, I enjoy being catered to too much
to have to constantly cater to him...

@libra sun, wow! Keep me posted on how things go with you and your
Virgo willya?! I'm about done bending myself into a
pretzel that still goes untouched...

Mocha

@Mr Defense,

He HAS a Gemini moon!! See, this is what makes me
think he still would rather be with his ex...insecurities abound
for me right now...

@mocha yeah i'll def keep you updated maybe i need to pick up a trench coat too lol

i have to fight very hard to ignore my cancer moon! it really gets in the way completely conflicts with how i want to be, but the longr ive ignored it for the easier it has gotten.

His Venus is freaking Scorpio for crying out loud...his Mars is Taurus

lol ive bought worse things 😉

Well if all you need is to get "some" ... drinks will do lol

How about a simple movie night at his place, some playful wrestling,
some drinks to follow, ask to hear some of his favorite tunes, maybe
some booty shaking..

In the eye of my mind he should either pounce on you or be left
wanting more.

I've learned from my virguy that I was deadly selfish. I was thinking about me, what I wanted, what I missed, what my needs were, and never stood still what my virguy wanted. Yes he likes sex, but gets in the mood when we're actually already started. My body is on fire when I'm only thinking about it. Pressure him to get between the sheets won't get me anywhere. He gets distant if I'm all over him almost screaming I want him 😛 I now know that if I'm not pressuring him, he'll come to me, and even if he doesn't come to me for some fire between the sheets, I still know he wants me. Virgoans don't have sex on high prioirty (ok with my virgo that is) He can satisfy me on other levels. It's true that you can see love from virgoans in their actions (not only sex related)

When we have sex it's heaven on earth. I know we all have needs, but it's give and take. If everything is perfect for a virgo, you can get him to do everything...if there's the slightest thing off, it just won't happen.

Yes, sex can be love too, but love is more than physical contact. I think you should loosen up a bit about the sex thing. I understand your needs driving you nuts, but you'll be tense around him, he'll pick it up, and can be distant, cause he just hate tense atmospheres...

Ok...I'm blurbing I think...sorry 🙂

If I'm off, please correct me 😉

I think every Virgo is different. With the ex he is almost all Fire. Like me. Earth with a hell of a rocket. Really more Leo than Virgo, so he took charge. Took over. Yes it was mutual and whooo was it passionate. So my experience with Virgo as lover was very positive. So when I hear about one dragging his heels I think "Huh?!"

my experience with my virgo as lover is positive too, now I'm standing a bit different in our relationship. I understand more where he's coming from, and I can adjust to it. He is so passionate! it really has that WOW effect LOL

Tell me about it. LOL It's a real mental thing. Like Superman. Exterior is all business, buttoned down. In the bedroom you have a horse of quite a different color altogether. 😉

it was a slap in the face when he opened up to me between the sheets...I was totally flabbergasted LOL kinda like...HUH?!! Where did I dig you up? or beneath what stone did you live?!

I know what he's capable off, and yes I want it everytime, but I'm not pressuring him, it will be only better if he's the one initiating LOL...with my virgo, nudity won't make him hot. Make him feel comfortable, have a great conversation, be sweet, and be yourself will get him hotter than hot!

LOL!! I had the same reaction. Whoooooaaaa where did YOU come from? Man got SKILLS. I found the 'tease' to be so much more of a turn on than full on nudity. That seemed much more intense. And yes, honesty. I think that should just be stressed with every relationship. 🙂

Actually I think full nudity is a big turn off for my virgo. He's so mind driven that giving it away will spoil all the fun.

Bingo! Same with prior ownership. It was much more heated to send him texts while he was at work, or call him and tell him in detail exactly what I'd like to do with his person. He'd arrive home all but snorting. Which suited me just fine.
He was never overly fond of the lingerie either, he wondered what the point was as it was going to wind up in a heap anyways. When he made that flip it was instantaneous for both of us. Just one look, or a soft hand trailing down an arm and it was go time.

AMEN!

Thanks anyway guys, it turns out he only likes Asian women. He just confessed.
And ALL this time I thought he loved me. I feel sooooo played.

Mocha

OH

DEAR

LORD!!

I'm so sorry to hear that 😢

That SUCKS! 😢

Yeah it really does suck. He totally used me. But it's all good...
For what it's worth, I'll miss hanging out on the Virgo board
with you guys, Virgo board is the bomb...

Ive been out with 3 Virgos and I am here to say this combo only works
when the Virgo is the one smitten.

Mocha

LOL Which makes me wonder what kind of payment plan it really is...hmmm.

Posted by mochacaremel

Ive been out with 3 Virgos and I am here to say this combo only works
when the Virgo is the one smitten.

^^This.

It's all or nothing thing.

So WHY is he still calling me?! To use me? Have me as a friend?
I don't know if I can do that b/c when I see him w an Asian who will
be getting everything I wanted how am I supposed to react?!

Maaaan...wth?

Mocha

then don't be friends. if he'll use you and hurt you and rub it in your face by bringing a girl he actually likes around, he isn't a real friend anyways. be civil to each other, sure. but there's a difference between being polite if you bump into someone and actually keeping in touch with them. be polite, but lose his number.

@curious visitor, you're right but I'm so pissed!! I'll get over it tho I guess

@Mr. Defense,

You already know! He used to say my headgame was "the best in the world"
I am a pleasing Libra ya know, but how is it you can accept favors like that
yet you cant have anything to do w me because I'm not Asian?!

Mocha

I'm curious. Whats your ethnicity? And whats his?

Hon, it's not because your not Asian. He enjoys your company. You're worthy of his time. He's just doesn't like you in that respect. If he did, the fact you're not Asian wouldn't matter.

Don't doubt yourself girl! Its him NOT you!!!!

Posted by mochacaremel
@curious visitor, you're right but I'm so pissed!! I'll get over it tho I guess

I feel you. I'm a libra too (headgame...yep. Brain like I majored in fellatio. Represent.) and I've lost out on guys for racial reasons. I look kind of exotic, but I'm just a boring white girl. Part native american, but not much. As a typical libra, my personality is so stereotypically asian, it's silly. A lot of guys I've liked have only been into asians. And it's f'd up because even though they like how asian girls look, they were usually just so hung up on the stereotype. An asian girl can be nothing like the stereotype, but a guy will lie to himself if it's what he wants to see. Meanwhile, I can be all polite and submissive and ready to please, and because I'm not asian, I'm just faking it to trick him into a relationship so I can trap him and make him miserable.

Y'all don't have to believe me, but I live for the study of human nature, and I know I'm right. And to clarify- I'm not talking about all men, just the ones who fetishize asian women. And frankly, I consider this fetishization racist because these men jjudge people by their race, not who they are.

but that doesn't make it suck less to be rejected by someone you like.

phone post. Sorry for grammar/formatting mistakes. Hard to edit on phone.

Y'all are speaking some knowledge in here! Oh and we're both African-American

He just texted me talking about "sorry for being mean, I'm just under a lot of stress"
Bullbutter! How many posts have I made about this guy not
treetrunking me, but I couldn't figure out why...

Now I know and you wanna back peddle? Such an UNevolved Virgo...

Smh
Mocha

Oh trust me, I'm not the one being childish and I am clearly done, I just like
closure and I see I won't be getting any since he wants to act as though he can
waltz back into my good graces. I'll show him better than I can tell him that I am done being
used. I'm just like "go find your Asian chick already and leave me alone!"

I will admit its easier for me to get over a man when I can tell he still is trying to contact me, must be an ego thing

Mocha

Posted by venusianbull
I think every Virgo is different. With the ex he is almost all Fire. Like me. Earth with a hell of a rocket. Really more Leo than Virgo, so he took charge. Took over. Yes it was mutual and whooo was it passionate. So my experience with Virgo as lover was very positive. So when I hear about one dragging his heels I think "Huh?!"

Me too VB. I have 2 Virgo exes and it was on like popcorn with the both of them. So it is hard for me to relate the women who post saying that Virgo males drag their feet. If they slow drag then I dont really deal with them. Not my style . It's probably the reason why I dont have interest in Virgo males. I live by the rule that words speak louder than words.

Posted by mochacaremel
Oh trust me, I'm not the one being childish and I am clearly done, I just like
closure and I see I won't be getting any since he wants to act as though he can
waltz back into my good graces. I'll show him better than I can tell him that I am done being
used. I'm just like "go find your Asian chick already and leave me alone!"

I will admit its easier for me to get over a man when I can tell he still is trying to contact me, must be an ego thing

Mocha

Yeah he is used to you believing his lies. Whenever someone tells you something, watch their actions. If it doesnt match up, you know it is time to start distancing yourself from them. I call them car salesmen! Dont hope that they will change or even try to figure out why they are doing what they are doing. Just keep your options open. Life is too short. You live in a big city, start busying yourself with some good fun. Go to the gym and workout, hang with good friends, pick up a new hobby, pamper yourself with pedicures and manicures. Leave him to whatever he is doing. Surround yourself with people who genuinely love you. And love yourself. I always say men are like buses, when one leaves another one will be by in 15 min! 🙂

I was going to chime in he's just not that into you but seavixen beat me to it....I bet you dollar to donuts asian women don't want him not even on a rainy day...

Lmao @ tiki! Aww man, I think you're right! Asian women are NOT lining up to be with
this user/loser!

Thank you all for such awesome advice and feedback and I will definitely be heading
to the gym so I can zone out on the treadmill and try to figure out
how did my self esteem get so low that I couldn't see just how much he
wasn't into me, while I continued to give him everything on a platter...

That is the work I will do on me. It'll be far more fun investing
in myself from now on. And then, it's gonna be on with me and Mr. Cancer!

Mocha

A stroll round the park will do that Shaka.

25thDecan,

He is a total tool and I'm just mad at myself really...
I even pawned my laptop to give him money...

I am finding it very difficult to not hate myself and how I mistreated
myself dealing with this manipulative lying Asian woman-fetishisizing moron...

Mocha

P.S. I'm writing you guys to avoid sending malicious texts...I apologize

I hope you got your money and laptop back...Don't feel bad, female hormones will have a woman OUT THERE, ass out, just giving a man her all including money...It happens, learn from it and move on and you can't buy love nor coerce a man to love you but some men will use the opportunity to use and take and exploit a womans need to feel loved by a man. If he doesn't reciprocate then move on, there are women that find a man's unavailability/rejection as a challenge so she begins to buy him things, give him more sex, just start giving giving giving like she's a free ATM machine only to find out in the process she was being exploited and used which ends in her being dumped..

Never give a man money NEVER...Keep ya head up and if you haven't blocked the assclown, try it, you will feel better not having to hear from again.

Posted by caribbeangold

Posted by mochacaremel

I even pawned my laptop to give him money...

huh? then you also have issues, no wonder he was able to fool you then. you already had little self-worth.
it is not only him, it is also you.

click to expand

Exactly@had little self-worth

But to give her credit she herself realized her self esteem wasn't on point regarding this guy, so hopefully it's something she work on as to not allow it to happen again.

So, I texted him back when he texted ms yesterday to ask if I wanted to hang out
I told him I didn't want to because I don't want to be his friend but that I would be
cordial and polite and I would like to know if he will still help me get my computer back.

He did not reply. That was yesterday at 8pm.

Should I call to see what he's planning to do or just try to get it back on my
own or what? I am only asking because I can't see him being this callous as to
not assist. He's never been that much of an ass...

I love how he's the user who got everything from me, but then wants to ignore
my simple request that he holds up his end of the financial bargain...

I am so so mad at myself...I want to jump off a bridge...

Mocha