Virgo Girl Confounds A Virgo Man

First of all, let me state that Virgo women are unlike almost any other sign that I've met. They are apparently also the most attractive by far. Good lord!

So, for any Virgo women out there, I would love to sort of know what is going on, so I can know if I should shut off and move on or if I should pursue this amazing person. You ladies are hard to read compared to other women...

I work with her, albeit in different departments. When I first saw her, I reacted on a gut level, but knowing how reliable those things are (and a bunch of things in my life), I went on with my business. I noticed her looking at me occasionally and sort of just popping up in certain places that I usually have to be while making my rounds. We talked briefly and noticed that we connected intellectually on a high level and that we could just go and on about things if we gave ourselves time.

She started really making a point of saying "Hi" to me every time she saw me (almost to the point I thought she was kidding, but I think she was just miscalibrating..she's not bad socially, but not the best, either).

Finally, after talking a bit more, I told her "I really want to talk with you more, but I'm never going to be satisfied with 2-3 minutes here and there. I want to have coffee with you and have a conversation." Her response was immediate "Ok" and then she wrote down her number (and her name..she has this weird thing where she thinks I don't know her name, which was never a problem..lol). After the number exchange, she asked me if she could accompany me on my rounds (we work at a popular tourist attraction and I'm there overnight). So she and I walked through the exhibits (in the dark) alone for about a half hour and talked. There, I found out how closely her views on life are to mine, even though she is going after a different area of the world..the end goal is the same. My attraction for her deepened...she's so hard to read, I can't tell. So, anyway...

The next day we text for bit say we're going to get together in a few days. The day before the meeting, we set a time and place to meet for coffee. She didn't show. I had coffee and read for a bit, it was actually very nice. My phone had died, so I went home to charge it and there were texts "Would a little work?" "?" "Don't die on me here!"

I wasn't upset so I texted her back and we joked for a bit. She said that when I didn't answer, she thought that I "had ditched" her.
I said "You think I would ditch you?" Her

Actually, I would say the same thing with what is posted here.. it cutoff the second part of the story! lol

-- continued --

Her: "I thought it was a bit weird" Me: "I don't do that. Redo?"

We ended up going out for drinks. She looked absolutely incredible. All night, there were men trying to approach her and we would politely let them know that we were talking. She was very reserved, but also really funny and we hit on some really great topics (and totally virgo'd out about how awesome a day spent reading can be). Then she shared something really personal with me, saying "Only my best friend (who works with us) knows this, but for some reason, I feel like I can tell you" - it was something she is going through physically that was the reason she had asked me if later was better earlier. It basically amounted to it being sort of rough for her to be out. She made sure to add "It's not an excuse to leave, by the way..I'm just feeling weird."

I told her if she felt like she needed to leave to just tell me. We talked for a bit longer and then she said "I think I need to leave..", to which i instantly said "Ok", stood up and walked her to her car. She got in her car and then changed her mind "I'll give you a hug"...then mentioned how she'll be better in a few days. I told her that I wanted to go out with her again and she said "Yeah, I like hanging out with you" and that we should get coffee. Then she left.

I sent her a text: "Thanks for coming out tonight. I appreciate what went into it at this time in your life. See you on Saturday. P.S. I like you in dresses. 😉
Her: See you soon. G'night

Ok..so I know it SEEMS like she kinda likes me, but with her, I'm baffled. Usually, I can read girls easily..her? Not at all. Last night, it was weird..I have never wanted a girl more (sexually, psychologically, in every way). But she seemed calm and collected. (Although, I probably did outwardly as well.)

The reason I'm asking is that I'm falling hard for this girl and if I'm being dumb at this early juncture, I'd rather change courses than go through that crap. Can any Virgo women shed light on this for me?

Any advice would be very appreciated!

Thanks.

Yeah, I had written her off. No tolerance for flakes..and I gave her a hard time about it when we got together.

Ok, it seems like a good plan. I'll never know for sure if I'm wasting my time until I do, but it doesn't appear to you guys that I am?

I'm like her, the male version. Possible she thinks you're not a good match or at least she is unsure if you'd be suitable, even if that seems silly. Or she is still attached to her previous one.

Virgo to virgo relationships are tricky but not impossible. You will need to apply all your Spidey senses to make it happen.

Sag are gorgeous, for sure. All female signs are super attractive (Capricorns are a little masculine for me, however). In this case, for me, it's the combination of passionate service, intellectual work and her physicality that makes for a super potent mix.

I'm sure she isn't sure if I'm a good match. I'm not sure if she is either, that's what is a bit alarming to me. I'm usually great at controlling my emotions and being unattached.

I'm actually unattached from the outcome, either way. However, if it worked out, we'd probably be a ridiculous power couple. lol

LOL...Power as in the ability to make a high level contribution to the world through our work. 🙂 Thanks guys.

Layna, thanks for the insight. I had the thought of "Well, if she wants to spend time and shows (especially with what she has going on at the moment physically), then she must have some sort of interest."

Posted by Layna

If I agree to spend time with you, then I like you, your presence, our talks. So, keep being you, and don't think too much.

🙂

+1

Just go with the flow...."we" tend to over analyze wayyy to much sometimes. lol

she's doing the same thing...guaranteed lol

I think this girl likes you...

She told you secrets & kept popping up where you would be on the job (That was totally intentional lol). She invited herself to accompany you on your rounds. She actually TALKS to you... With actual full complete sentences with nouns, verbs & adjectives! She agrees to go on a date. The biggest one of all, she SAID she "likes hanging out with you". In Virgirl world, this is what early interest looks like! Lol

Yes she looks calm, reserved & beautiful but I confidently feel like she's secretly shy. She's just good at covering it up like many of us virgirls.

She totally analyzed herself OUT of that first date. Although I'm sure she wanted to meet you.

I just love how when she finally got the opportunity with you on the date, she presented herself with confidence, pose, & was rather humorous...I love that we can put our best foot forward even when we're secretly nervous...She left you wanting more lol. Wish I could give her a pat on the back & say well done.

Don't worry about her. In her own little way she's into you 🙂 🙂

So, updates, updates. haha

We've talked through texts. When I saw her at work, she talked to me when were alone, but wouldn't make eye contact or talk much when anyone else was around. When I had to run to take care of something, she had this alarmed look on his face like "Wait! Don't go.." lol

I asked what her schedule was this weekend and she said "She honestly didn't know" and would "let me know".

Then, a mutual friend of ours (who has no idea that we went out of anything..in fact, nobody does..) mentioned that this girl would be perfect for me, but that she was dating her professor and was very happy. (Tires screech..) "Wait..what?"

This girl has mentioned NOT A SINGLE WORD of this guy in our interactions. In fact, from what I hear, she has bluntly turned down other men at work by saying "I'm only interested in bright, intelligent men who are going somewhere in their lives.." Which, many people would agree is how I come off (I know, I know..it's just the truth). It sounds like I'm her type, but that she is with her professor..

She has no idea that I know. She has, however, mentioned being in her "midlife crisis" and that she "needed a life coach" to help clear up some things. Needless to say, she has responded to my texts, except for the one asking if she knew her schedule yet.

Interesting stuff. Now, I'm not into judging this girl and I'm not going to make her cheat..but what are the virgo girl's thoughts? (Btw, I have more than enough options out there and I'm moving forward with them as well..so I'm not pining). But, this is one special girl..

Yeah, I think she likes me too. She's leaving town next week with a new album by yours truly that she has been told "not to listen to until she leaves the state". Fun. 🙂

Thanks for the comment. 🙂

Posted by VirgoFromCo
Thanks for the comment. 🙂

What a polite way of saying GET LOST!
Wahahaha! So Virgo!
😉

Wait a minute. Before you go thinking this girl is either nuts or cheating on someone, I'm going to throw something else at you to think about.
First of all, I put myself in her shoes, and do you know what I would bet a fair amount of money on? Anxiety. Her actions in needing to leave could have been panic and over thinking. I do this myself. She could've worked herself up before hand, thinking you could be "the one", and may have been through a tremendous amount of hurt in the past. Defenses go up, ESPECIALLY IF she was in an abusive relationship. Believe me, when she said she doesn't tell many people something, yet she's telling you, that is an OPEN DOOR. She is probably terrified. And IF this is anxiety related, she will NOT COMMIT to a date until she is sure she feels ok enough to go without going into another panic. I've done this too. Say what you want about people with anxiety disorder but it hugely stems from very, very bad past relationships. You could be what's exciting her. The lack of looking in your eyes is also a dead giveaway. I do this too. It's fear of you seeing into me, or fear of you hurting me, or fear of you seeing who I am and rejecting me. It sounds like a classic case of "I'm in trouble and I can't run, but I can go be alone and gather myself until I'm better." As for the person that told you she's dating someone, don't ask her if it's true. She will think you're stalking her and we are very sensitive to that, giving more reason to run. If she is dating someone and she's out on a "get together" with you, I can almost promise you, she is probably planning on leaving that guy. I've been down that road too, and feared that every guy I met was a player.... (part 1)

... So here's the test. See if she will open up. Start to repeat something you already talked about and get her comfortable again opening up to you. Let her ramble on. If she closes off or gets cold, cut it short. Then start only texting her once a day. See if she tries to engage you via text. If she ignores texts often, or cuts you short, she's either testing you to see if you're playing her, or she's possibly trying to get away from someone else. Talk about yourself but really try to engage her. Don't misinterpret flirts for feelings. If she has feelings, she'll compliment you a lot, and try to keep YOU engaged. Another test- if you blow her off, and then reach out a day later and she responds quickly, then she's probably impulsive personality. If she waits the same amount of time to blow you off as you did to her, she's protecting herself. If she says "ah yeah I've been really busy" and acts like she doesn't care that you blew her off, she's probably trying to play it off that she doesn't care to protect herself. Watch for signs and tell us what she's doing.

Virgosagscorpio - Hahaha

Great points, VirgAnne (and everyone else)!

At first, I was a bit caught off guard and it was easy to begin to judge, but stopped myself. There is nothing to judge. I don't think she is crazy and I don't think that she is a cheater. I do think that she is trying to find out what's right for her and is in a place of confusion.

Me asking about her schedule (yesterday morning) is the first time she hasn't responded directly when I've asked her something via text. She takes awhile, but does respond. This time there has been nothing...in fact, check this out.. (details for a Virgo, you know..)

Before going on rounds and going out together:
- Would make eye contact
- Would talk openly in front of others
- Would wave to me and make a huge show of seeing me "Hi! Hello! Hi!" (that sort of thing..)
- Used to reach out and touch my arm when we were talking.. (she does this to EVERYONE else)

After date
- No eye contact..or if there is, very brief
- Won't engage with me in front of others, but her voice tone gives her away when we're alone for a moment
- Doesn't acknowledge my presence unless I literally am standing directly in front of her (before she would step away from a group to wave hello)
- And..biggest difference..she will not touch me. At all...

As far your questions about texts, it's stuff like this:

Me: (name), you very well might save the world, but your "text game" sucks. lol
Her: OMG, I know! I thought I told you how bad at texting I am! Don't take it personally. I also this pesto is disgusting and no sense of direction. There is a list of things that suck about me.

Me: There is a list of things that suck about me as well.
Her: LOL Don't we all have that?

Me: Nope. I was just being agreeable.
Her: Hahaha So, you are saying that you are flawless?
Her: You are pretty awesome.
Me: You have no idea, Miss.

- But then, texts drop to once a day, with the same friendly tone. She's leaving town for a few weeks this next week and I might not see her. But this is a longer term interest from me (as opposed to the easier short term with other girls), so I'm fine taking a longer view.

No eye contact now: Hiding, afraid to show herself, possibly self conscious, fear of showing emotion. I do this.
Won't talk openly in front of others: She may not be sure if you're "cool" with her showing you attn. sounds crazy, but I do this a lot.
Doesn't make a huge show when you walk in: Play it safe and don't let him know I like him that much. I do this.
Doesn't flirt by touching your arm like everyone else's: Reserve flirting for people it won't matter to. Self protection. Don't let him think I like him too much; I could blow it and lose him if too forward. I do this.
Texting content: She's trying to tell you facts about herself to start breaking down her bad points to see if you'll stick around. She tells you there's things that suck about her. She's putting herself down indicating low self confidence, thinking she's not good enough. She's also waiting for you to say YOU LIKE HER DESPITE WHAT SHE MAY SAY SUCKS ABOUT HERSELF. When she says "don't we all have that?", she's temporarily downplaying her faults so she doesn't give it away that she's down on herself. Your response? No, we're all fine... It's just you that sucks. (she took that as a hit) She says "You are pretty awesome" to try to lure you in more by complimenting you and taking attn off her faults. Your response? "You have no idea." (Her interpretation: So you think I suck,you didn't tell me anything good about myself, you can see I'm telling you I have faults and all you think about is how awesome YOU are?) She gets cold because she got nothing from you. No reassurance that you likened despite her faults, no compliments, no letting her know that it's ok to let her guard down. She's into you and showing all the signs that I show when I am crazy about someone and afraid to mess up and let my guard down. Start amping up your ability to reassure her. Be her man and make her FEEL IT! If you want to catch her, you have to let her know it's not only $ &@ you want... It's HER that matters, and faults are acceptable. Make her feel like you're thinking of her constantly and she will actually feel its ok to be who she is. She pretty much thinks she's not good enough, and yet she knows she shouldn't feel that way. You aren't seeing her clues. Go back and read your texts.

PS: if you start allowing her to think her faults are perfectly fine, by may e even "one-upping" her and telling her your own faults for each one she tells to you, she will become attached quickly, and start showing more emotion, and playing it safe less. Try it. Start texting more and don't wait for her to do it. I'm telling you, this girl is afraid you're going to play her and she's got too much at stake. Turn it up a little. Tell her YOU WANT to see her. Say, "So, I want to see you but my schedule is all whacky. Let me know if you want to hook up and we'll figure something out." Send her that text. Bet she responds favorably. I would. (Unless you haven't shown enough yet, in which case, keep complimenting & adding value to your conversations.)

Correction in first message I wrote: "No reassurance that you LIKE HER despite her faults* (whch she hates about herself by the way)

Posted by VirgoFromCo
So, updates, updates. haha

We've talked through texts. When I saw her at work, she talked to me when were alone, but wouldn't make eye contact or talk much when anyone else was around. When I had to run to take care of something, she had this alarmed look on his face like "Wait! Don't go.." lol

I asked what her schedule was this weekend and she said "She honestly didn't know" and would "let me know".

Then, a mutual friend of ours (who has no idea that we went out of anything..in fact, nobody does..) mentioned that this girl would be perfect for me, but that she was dating her professor and was very happy. (Tires screech..) "Wait..what?"

This girl has mentioned NOT A SINGLE WORD of this guy in our interactions. In fact, from what I hear, she has bluntly turned down other men at work by saying "I'm only interested in bright, intelligent men who are going somewhere in their lives.." Which, many people would agree is how I come off (I know, I know..it's just the truth). It sounds like I'm her type, but that she is with her professor..

She has no idea that I know. She has, however, mentioned being in her "midlife crisis" and that she "needed a life coach" to help clear up some things. Needless to say, she has responded to my texts, except for the one asking if she knew her schedule yet.

Interesting stuff. Now, I'm not into judging this girl and I'm not going to make her cheat..but what are the virgo girl's thoughts? (Btw, I have more than enough options out there and I'm moving forward with them as well..so I'm not pining). But, this is one special girl..

rofl. I didnt even need to read thread to know she was full of shit. That whole lying by omission thing is something virgo women LOVE to do, especially especially especially if she has low self esteem and anxiety issues which this one to me obviously does. (they also love to create mystery illnesses lol) but yea Thats why shes done weird shit and sent those mixed signals, shes socially awkward and has low self esteem which is a bad combo when youre a virgo woman, its going to make her already over the top analyzing even more extreme and make her see everything from a negative place. im sure shes smart, and thats what has you blinded to her unstable brain and actions. you already care too much, dont get caught up in her shit, its not your job to figure it out. do you want a relati

cont'd

do you want a relationship with a woman who'se already seeing someone and lying to you and him at the same time? heard the phrase hurt people hurt people? this is why i never recommend for us virgos to date unless the woman has a really healthy self esteem.

...also...those after date signs means she wants to fuck you...but she has some hangups right now (ie another man)

VirgAnne - Wow, you really gave me a few things to think about here. What men perceive as flirting (which is still definitely is used at the right time) can also diminish the effect of the connection. It seems like the balance is in the middle way. A gentle mix of flirtatiousness and letting her know that you are interested, accepting of her and are willing to step should things go that way.

So, I sent your text with the addendum that "i also want to give you a copy of the CD I've been working on for your trip." She responded, saying that she had her schedule completely packed for the next few days (she leaves tomorrow for a trip). I told her that is totally understandable and got a raincheck for meeting up.

Then, I asked where I can leave the CD for her, since our schedules won't match up at all. After some play banter, I told her that I'd find someplace creative to leave it for her and to look for a clue text in the morning. She responded "Oh f__k yeah! I love scavenger hunts.."

Last night, I put together a few short notes, leading her from the first text to the first note, to the next, to the next, to the CD. I was playful in these, but complimented her a few times (very sincerely...and about who she is.)

So - waiting to see how that turned out. It was a drawing a line in the sand moment for me to let her know that I'm am actually interested. It could crash and burn..whatever. lol I'm not looking for a particular response at all. Just fun for her and myself.

HungVirgo - I get your points, for sure. At this point, I've decided not to be too judgmental. She hasn't told me about him for one reason, which is obvious. What isn't obvious is where they are in their relationship... As far as the other stuff..time will tell. I am smart enough to walk away if it gets too stupid.

Ok..so update. This scavenger hunt used bits from our previous conversations as jump off points and I also took the opportunity to actually compliment her in a way that would matter, not a half assed way.

So, went home and went to sleep. Woke up and saw this text that afternoon:

Her: Wow. That is probably one of the coolest things someone has for me in a long time. Thank you.
Me (later): Always happy to be of service to you, Miss _____. Somehow, I sense that you are worth it.

Her (later): I think you might think I'm cooler than I really am.
Me: I could say the same thing in reverse.

And that's where we are. She's on vacation for a few weeks. She has my music, and this is the high note in which we ended our interactions. Not even sure what the outcome will be, but I appreciate the advice about showing her that she is worth it. Need to figure out how to do that without killing all of the attraction.

She has returned from vacation. Haven't texted or spoken to her the whole time (2 weeks or so). A few days ago, I sent a slightly joking text with a "welcome back", in order to initiate something.

Her (hours later): Do you work tonight?
Me: No. Do you?
Her: Yes I do. I have a thing for you.
Me: Oh really? Should I be concerned? lol Would you like to leave it for me or give it to me in person? I prefer the latter.

No response. I've sent a few funny texts, one the day after and then two days after that. Nothing.

So, I've heard the "Virgo girls aren't playing hard to get..they ARE hard to get" thing..but I'm looking for insight from Virgo girls how to go about it. I have backed off and played the more "fun" vibe over those last two texts. Generally, any girl would respond to these. But, she isn't.

Now, I am also dating two other girls at this time (just in the field), so I'm not tied to this one, but she's good at captivating me. From the beginning, I've always seen her as long term material. What do you ladies think?

Whatever you do be consistent. If you start matching her responses or aloofness and that is not how you originally acted she will probably equate that with playing games (at least I would)
Also I'm not sure why her dating other people would be an issue unless she lied and said she wasn't after you had asked her. You two are not committed and you weren't told the other person is her boyfriend.
Also, I personally don't consider it lying by omission. I always thought when getting to know someone dating others is discussed only if the topic is brought up. I look at it the same way I would if I was out with a new person who kept talking about their exes.

First thing that came to mind is "I like you in dresses." As a Virgo woman, I don't really care what you like and that comment would have turned me off a bit. Just sayin'