HermesVirgo
@HermesVirgo
8 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 128 · Topics: 21
Virgo (male) "manipulative"
You guys want to break up because the relationship will become long distance? You've been together for two years, surely there were talks of long term in the mix. I wouldn't give up on my relationship right away over a case of mileage. I'd do what it took to make it work. Isn't that what relationships are about? Why not view it as a temporary set back and set out plans to be reunited again.
Posted by HermesVirgoSo you put "manipulative" in the title, and barely mention it in your post, then go on to mention other (perhaps equally legitimate) factors.
Hello,
Virgo male here. Mercury, 3rd House Virgo in my natal chart. I've been dating a Taurus female the last 2 years. We're on the verge of break up due to a few factors, but ultimately due to a relocation. She accused me of being manipulative in the relationship and putting her in situations of choosing me verses her other personal and social interest. We both have Sag moon, which seems to make our home life almost perfect. It's relaxed and calm, with a little excitement when needed. Sometimes we're even telepathic. However, we can get pretty tense and erupt. I blame it on the Sag moons.
What's the best way to deal with this growing distance or should we try to stick things out ? I've never met a partner that's so relaxed and calm when we're on good terms. Our living together seems like 2nd nature.
Are you manipulative? Or is that complaint of hers something you're going to let go in one ear and out the other because it isn't convenient for you to address? Sorry to sound so harsh, but a couple of old friends of mine who were both Virgos were manipulative. One had a sagg moon too. He'd always just gloss over his flaws and to the contributions he played in the demises of his relationships. I don't find that way of being very honest or endearing. Maybe you should listen to your girlfriend and actually address the problems you cause. Your relationship might be a little better.
Also, you mention both your sagg moons playing a part in your eruptions. Well, don't just acknowledge the "why" like you're excusing that behavior. Be better than that. Work on it. Change it. Don't just shrug and say, "It's the moons. Oh well..." And yes, she needs to do the same too.
As for the distance, I've been married for 15 years. Our courtship lasted two years. All of which were long distance. Yeah, it works if you both want it to. If you both make the effort. Learn that, and learn it well.
Otherwise; "Living ain't easy, lovin's twice as tough. Come back baby, when you grow up."
Best of luck.
Posted by HermesVirgoWere you?
She accused me of being manipulative in the relationship and putting her in situations of choosing me verses her other personal and social interest.
What did you exactly do and say?
Posted by 81gemsI'd bet on the bolded because of the topic title.
So you put "manipulative" in the title, and barely mention it in your post, then go on to mention other (perhaps equally legitimate) factors.
Are you manipulative? Or is that complaint of hers something you're going to let go in one ear and out the other because it isn't convenient for you to address?
Posted by DamnataAn example of her saying I'm manipulative is regarding my relocation. I chose a city that works best for me with the thought she'd be fine with it several months out. Now as the time approaches she's expressing a need to stay and how I'm selfish for leaving her. She blames my intent as her being forced to come along. I asked her to come up with a compromise and she'd like me to delay moving for 6 months while she completes a personal goal.Posted by HermesVirgoWere you?
She accused me of being manipulative in the relationship and putting her in situations of choosing me verses her other personal and social interest.
What did you exactly do and say?
click to expand
There's other examples I could give. I don't agree in being called "manipulative". Maybe it's being persuasive.
Posted by HermesVirgoDid you consult with her before deciding where you would relocate or even talk to her about your want to move?Posted by DamnataAn example of her saying I'm manipulative is regarding my relocation. I chose a city that works best for me with the thought she'd be fine with it several months out. Now as the time approaches she's expressing a need to stay and how I'm selfish for leaving her. She blames my intent as her being forced to come along. I asked her to come up with a compromise and she'd like me to delay moving for 6 months while she completes a personal goal.Posted by HermesVirgoWere you?
She accused me of being manipulative in the relationship and putting her in situations of choosing me verses her other personal and social interest.
What did you exactly do and say?
There's other examples I could give. I don't agree in being called "manipulative". Maybe it's being persuasive.
click to expand
Did you consult with her before deciding where you would relocate or even talk to her about your want to move?
I did not. I figured we'd both be leaving for new opportunities at the same time. I suppose to soften the blow I started looking towards a relocation preemptively. She seemed on board with it at the time. Now that I'm 30-60 days out for leaving she's asking that I stay. I'm not sure if its the actuality that I'm leaving or not but it's brought her closer to me. Her recent actions are encouraging. Now I'm contemplating do I go with what I sort forth or adhere to her request and stay.
Posted by HermesVirgoA relationship is a partnership. One where each party should have a voice. You making a decision without consulting her is telling to me. As your partner, making huge life decisions like moving away should be a decision both of you have together. You making the decision on your own is tantamount to saying you only value your opinion and her input is not valid.
I did not. I figured we'd both be leaving for new opportunities at the same time. I suppose to soften the blow I started looking towards a relocation preemptively. She seemed on board with it at the time. Now that I'm 30-60 days out for leaving she's asking that I stay. I'm not sure if its the actuality that I'm leaving or not but it's brought her closer to me. Her recent actions are encouraging. Now I'm contemplating do I go with what I sort forth or adhere to her request and stay.
It sounds to me that she ends up the one compromising for your wants without you really thinking of hers. She asked for a delay. That isn't a No, but a request for you to also support her personal goals just as she supports yours.
Quite honestly, what you are doing sounds manipulative.
Posted by HermesVirgoAnd maybe your response is sickening. Typical virgo spinning things around to make themselves look better, innocent, etc. In addition to manipulative, you do sound selfish as hell. And like a typical Virgo, you probably won't "get it" anyway. None of it.Posted by DamnataAn example of her saying I'm manipulative is regarding my relocation. I chose a city that works best for me with the thought she'd be fine with it several months out. Now as the time approaches she's expressing a need to stay and how I'm selfish for leaving her. She blames my intent as her being forced to come along. I asked her to come up with a compromise and she'd like me to delay moving for 6 months while she completes a personal goal.Posted by HermesVirgoWere you?
She accused me of being manipulative in the relationship and putting her in situations of choosing me verses her other personal and social interest.
What did you exactly do and say?
There's other examples I could give. I don't agree in being called "manipulative". Maybe it's being persuasive.
click to expand
Now you asked her to come up with a compromise and she did. So be a mature adult and compromise.
You don't make unilateral decisions believing your significant other will just "come around" eventually, and NOT expect there to be some kind of resentment. For heaven's sake man, THINK!!! Use that brain of yours.
In another post you said you felt closer to her. Good. Take her feelings and thoughts and needs into consideration. LEGITIMATELY. Don't just gloss over them. And learn to start seeing your faults for what they are - faults. Don't put a more positive light on your flaws because you're somehow incapable of seeing the truth of how you've acted, and how you've been. You can look at your own truth, can't you? I mean, you are a Virgo, no?
Poor girl...
Posted by 81gemsThis is one of the reasons I made the post. I'm looking for insight outside of myself. The main issue is that I asked her if I should end my lease and also if we were okay to relocate. She responded indifferently to it and became a bit distant. I anticipated this as things coming to a close.Posted by HermesVirgoAnd maybe your response is sickening. Typical virgo spinning things around to make themselves look better, innocent, etc. In addition to manipulative, you do sound selfish as hell. And like a typical Virgo, you probably won't "get it" anyway. None of it.Posted by DamnataAn example of her saying I'm manipulative is regarding my relocation. I chose a city that works best for me with the thought she'd be fine with it several months out. Now as the time approaches she's expressing a need to stay and how I'm selfish for leaving her. She blames my intent as her being forced to come along. I asked her to come up with a compromise and she'd like me to delay moving for 6 months while she completes a personal goal.Posted by HermesVirgoWere you?
She accused me of being manipulative in the relationship and putting her in situations of choosing me verses her other personal and social interest.
What did you exactly do and say?
There's other examples I could give. I don't agree in being called "manipulative". Maybe it's being persuasive.
Now you asked her to come up with a compromise and she did. So be a mature adult and compromise.
You don't make unilateral decisions believing your significant other will just "come around" eventually, and NOT expect there to be some kind of resentment. For heaven's sake man, THINK!!! Use that brain of yours.
In another post you said you felt closer to her. Good. Take her feelings and thoughts and needs into consideration. LEGITIMATELY. Don't just gloss over them. And learn to start seeing your faults for what they are - faults. Don't put a more positive light on your flaws because you're somehow incapable of seeing the truth of how you've acted, and how you've been. You can look at your own truth, can't you? I mean, you are a Virgo, no?
Poor girl...
click to expand
We had all the traits of things ending. She'd be occupied on weekends or travel without me, etc. I started to focus on relocation and a life in a new city. Now that things are in motion. I brought up the compromise option. The next day she brought it back up and wanted to discuss the options of extending for 6 months.
I'm at my wits end and unsure if she's my soulmate and I should stick this out with her or if we were just for a period of time and its best to move on.
Me: Virgo Sun, Sag Moon, Cancer Rising
Her: Taurus Sun, Sag Moon, Scorp Rising
Posted by HermesVirgoIf you have to question it then the answer is clear enoughPosted by 81gemsThis is one of the reasons I made the post. I'm looking for insight outside of myself. The main issue is that I asked her if I should end my lease and also if we were okay to relocate. She responded indifferently to it and became a bit distant. I anticipated this as things coming to a close.Posted by HermesVirgoAnd maybe your response is sickening. Typical virgo spinning things around to make themselves look better, innocent, etc. In addition to manipulative, you do sound selfish as hell. And like a typical Virgo, you probably won't "get it" anyway. None of it.Posted by DamnataAn example of her saying I'm manipulative is regarding my relocation. I chose a city that works best for me with the thought she'd be fine with it several months out. Now as the time approaches she's expressing a need to stay and how I'm selfish for leaving her. She blames my intent as her being forced to come along. I asked her to come up with a compromise and she'd like me to delay moving for 6 months while she completes a personal goal.Posted by HermesVirgoWere you?
She accused me of being manipulative in the relationship and putting her in situations of choosing me verses her other personal and social interest.
What did you exactly do and say?
There's other examples I could give. I don't agree in being called "manipulative". Maybe it's being persuasive.
Now you asked her to come up with a compromise and she did. So be a mature adult and compromise.
You don't make unilateral decisions believing your significant other will just "come around" eventually, and NOT expect there to be some kind of resentment. For heaven's sake man, THINK!!! Use that brain of yours.
In another post you said you felt closer to her. Good. Take her feelings and thoughts and needs into consideration. LEGITIMATELY. Don't just gloss over them. And learn to start seeing your faults for what they are - faults. Don't put a more positive light on your flaws because you're somehow incapable of seeing the truth of how you've acted, and how you've been. You can look at your own truth, can't you? I mean, you are a Virgo, no?
Poor girl...
We had all the traits of things ending. She'd be occupied on weekends or travel without me, etc. I started to focus on relocation and a life in a new city. Now that things are in motion. I brought up the compromise option. The next day she brought it back up and wanted to discuss the options of extending for 6 months.
I'm at my wits end and unsure if she's my soulmate and I should stick this out with her or if we were just for a period of time and its best to move on.
Me: Virgo Sun, Sag Moon, Cancer Rising
Her: Taurus Sun, Sag Moon, Scorp Risingclick to expand
Posted by HermesVirgoYou have to take some accountability in how she is acting now. You essentially told her of your decisions to move, never consulted her about It, and then you thought she would just tow the line.Posted by 81gemsThis is one of the reasons I made the post. I'm looking for insight outside of myself. The main issue is that I asked her if I should end my lease and also if we were okay to relocate. She responded indifferently to it and became a bit distant. I anticipated this as things coming to a close.Posted by HermesVirgoAnd maybe your response is sickening. Typical virgo spinning things around to make themselves look better, innocent, etc. In addition to manipulative, you do sound selfish as hell. And like a typical Virgo, you probably won't "get it" anyway. None of it.Posted by DamnataAn example of her saying I'm manipulative is regarding my relocation. I chose a city that works best for me with the thought she'd be fine with it several months out. Now as the time approaches she's expressing a need to stay and how I'm selfish for leaving her. She blames my intent as her being forced to come along. I asked her to come up with a compromise and she'd like me to delay moving for 6 months while she completes a personal goal.Posted by HermesVirgoWere you?
She accused me of being manipulative in the relationship and putting her in situations of choosing me verses her other personal and social interest.
What did you exactly do and say?
There's other examples I could give. I don't agree in being called "manipulative". Maybe it's being persuasive.
Now you asked her to come up with a compromise and she did. So be a mature adult and compromise.
You don't make unilateral decisions believing your significant other will just "come around" eventually, and NOT expect there to be some kind of resentment. For heaven's sake man, THINK!!! Use that brain of yours.
In another post you said you felt closer to her. Good. Take her feelings and thoughts and needs into consideration. LEGITIMATELY. Don't just gloss over them. And learn to start seeing your faults for what they are - faults. Don't put a more positive light on your flaws because you're somehow incapable of seeing the truth of how you've acted, and how you've been. You can look at your own truth, can't you? I mean, you are a Virgo, no?
Poor girl...
We had all the traits of things ending. She'd be occupied on weekends or travel without me, etc. I started to focus on relocation and a life in a new city. Now that things are in motion. I brought up the compromise option. The next day she brought it back up and wanted to discuss the options of extending for 6 months.
I'm at my wits end and unsure if she's my soulmate and I should stick this out with her or if we were just for a period of time and its best to move on.
Me: Virgo Sun, Sag Moon, Cancer Rising
Her: Taurus Sun, Sag Moon, Scorp Risingclick to expand
Her distance is a reflection directly impacted by your decision to move without consulting her first. She now holds resentment. Your statement sounds as if you are solely blaming her for you questioning her place in your life, when I see your actions as the catalyst for her pulling away.
Have you even asked her yet, how she feels about moving? Or are you just making statements to her? How would the move benefit her as well?
Considering it appears that you still cannot take her feelings into account and are spinning it in a fashion that reflects negatively on her, you probably should remain single for awhile. Relationships are 100% From both parties. And you aren't giving as much by your actions thus far. Until you can give as much as you expect from your partner, you will not have a successful relationship.
I wish it was so cut and dry. She displayed distance before me deciding to jump ship and leave. My relocation was a response to try and get the relationship going... or see that what we have was real. If we can both give to each other I'd love to stay. If she's not showing a high level of attraction or want to be together its easier for me to leave.
Posted by HermesVirgoSo you wanted to see whether or not this Bull was still emotionally invested in you?
I wish it was so cut and dry. She displayed distance before me deciding to jump ship and leave. My relocation was a response to try and get the relationship going... or see that what we have was real. If we can both give to each other I'd love to stay. If she's not showing a high level of attraction or want to be together its easier for me to leave.
Posted by HermesVirgoWhat were the other factors?
I've been dating a Taurus female the last 2 years. We're on the verge of break up due to a few factors, but ultimately due to a relocation.click to expand
Posted by TaurusBull1977I did ! I wanted to know if she was vested. We're both introverted (INTJ) so it's hard to determine if she's being distant or needs her own time. I wanted to either "fly or fight". Other factors would include her relaying on this sort of telepathy that we have. There's times when we're thinking the same thing or we know each other's words and actions ahead of time. Our aspects of Sun, Moon, Venus & Mars, and Saturn all jive very well. We had a convo when we agreed that it feels like we're married. I never experienced this closeness in a relationship. It was evident when we first met. My question is if I bank on this "connection" that we have or look for more overt signs.Posted by HermesVirgoSo you wanted to see whether or not this Bull was still emotionally invested in you?
I wish it was so cut and dry. She displayed distance before me deciding to jump ship and leave. My relocation was a response to try and get the relationship going... or see that what we have was real. If we can both give to each other I'd love to stay. If she's not showing a high level of attraction or want to be together its easier for me to leave.Posted by HermesVirgoWhat were the other factors?
I've been dating a Taurus female the last 2 years. We're on the verge of break up due to a few factors, but ultimately due to a relocation.
click to expand
Posted by HermesVirgoObviouly the telepathy thing is not working out for you... Common sense would suit you better probably.Posted by TaurusBull1977I did ! I wanted to know if she was vested. We're both introverted (INTJ) so it's hard to determine if she's being distant or needs her own time. I wanted to either "fly or fight". Other factors would include her relaying on this sort of telepathy that we have. There's times when we're thinking the same thing or we know each other's words and actions ahead of time. Our aspects of Sun, Moon, Venus & Mars, and Saturn all jive very well. We had a convo when we agreed that it feels like we're married. I never experienced this closeness in a relationship. It was evident when we first met. My question is if I bank on this "connection" that we have or look for more overt signs.Posted by HermesVirgoSo you wanted to see whether or not this Bull was still emotionally invested in you?
I wish it was so cut and dry. She displayed distance before me deciding to jump ship and leave. My relocation was a response to try and get the relationship going... or see that what we have was real. If we can both give to each other I'd love to stay. If she's not showing a high level of attraction or want to be together its easier for me to leave.Posted by HermesVirgoWhat were the other factors?
I've been dating a Taurus female the last 2 years. We're on the verge of break up due to a few factors, but ultimately due to a relocation.
click to expand
So to answer your question; yes
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Hello,
Virgo male here. Mercury, 3rd House Virgo in my natal chart. I've been dating a Taurus female the last 2 years. We're on the verge of break up due to a few factors, but ultimately due to a relocation. She accused me of being manipulative in the relationship and putting her in situations of choosing me verses her other personal and social interest. We both have Sag moon, which seems to make our home life almost perfect. It's relaxed and calm, with a little excitement when needed. Sometimes we're even telepathic. However, we can get pretty tense and erupt. I blame it on the Sag moons.
What's the best way to deal with this growing distance or should we try to stick things out ? I've never met a partner that's so relaxed and calm when we're on good terms. Our living together seems like 2nd nature.