When You're Figuring Someone Out? (Page 2)

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by Virgorean

Posted by Damnata

Posted by Virgorean
Do your Virgo friends have a lot of water in their charts or are into relationships with water signs?

I kid.































It's weekly.

LOL

lol



awww.



my virgo uncle is married happily to a pisces woman.

such a great marriage too.

sure ups and downs but they are thick and thin.

click to expand

I'm not knocking on Pisces...but a few pegs, but they can be quite emotional. I have two best friends who are Pisces, one male and one female. The amount of venting I hear on a daily basis is enough to form an ocean. I do love them and they are absolutely the sweetest, but sometimes I wish they had an off button for their emotions. Although, I do appreciate them for helping me to become more empathetic.

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by Virgorean

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by xXxQueenliciaXxX

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by xXxQueenliciaXxX

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by xXxQueenliciaXxX

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by xXxQueenliciaXxX

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by xXxQueenliciaXxX
Automatic friend zone.

I want us to know each other and be friends first and foremost.

See and I know some people who do this and it throws me for a loop. It always seems like a quick way to confuse the other person.

I mean, I'm pretty direct with my feelings.



If I say "I don't see you in that way" or "all I want is your friendship", then that is what I mean.



If I say "let's stay friends...for now" then that's my way of saying that I'm interested but would like to take things slow.



Do you find that confusing?

No, that makes sense. Though if I heard, "Let's stay friends for now" I'd probably hear the same thing as "All I want is friendship." Interesting though. I'd assume though that if you did like someone you would just tell them outright, no?

Nah, because it's not guaranteed that I'll stay interested. It takes a lot for a guy to get and keep my interest.



It's better to just let things unfold naturally and see where they go. At least that's how I prefer it to happen.

Hm interesting, how does someone (who may or may not know you're interested in them) hold your attention? Do you find their consistency more attractive? Or do you find yourself drawn to a particular mystique? Is it easier for you to observe when they have NO clue you're interested?

What I've noticed about guys, is that guys, are a lot like wild horses. You have to break them in sometimes.



My "process" of breaking a guy down (who I see potential in) is by being friendly, yet disconnected. Which isn't hard for me because I already am kind of disconnected.



Anyway, this "disconnect" makes guys let their guard down. How? Because they stop doing the things that they normally would in order to impress a female they believe they have a chance with.



When guys realize they don't have a chance with you, that is when they let their true selves show because they're no long putting on that act of trying to impress you in order to date you or get into your pants. Does that make sense?



So yes, it's easier for me to observe when I'm keeping them at a distance.

Oh totally, I get that logic. My only question then is, what about the guys who are completely worthwhile and aren't breakable, the ones who don't fit that mold?

So let's say 95% of guys are breakable (or inconsistent) wild horses. They're just putting on a nice face to get closer to you. What about the other 5% of guys who are totally secure in themselves and have no masks? Meaning when you back away their real guy is still the same person. That type of guy generally has options so friendzoning thim before he even know your intentions is almost like shooting yourself in the foot, no?

What happens if you realize the guy is 100% , but now he's friendzoned you and is focused on women he considered to be "more direct"?

If that's who he is then the consistency in his personality will show, whether I keep him at a distance or not. I pick up on that sort of thing also. I understand not all guys are putting on a show, but many are in today's society. So as a woman who actually takes relationships (both romantic and platonic) seriously, you have to make sure you play your cards right when it comes to who you allow in your circle.



I would still be friends with the guy who didn't waiver his personality based on relationship status even if he chose to move on. Friend zoning isn't just for weeding out guys who may have ill intentions, it also gives you the opportunity to see if that chemistry truly is there. I personally believe that the greatest love is one that is based off of friendship first and foremost. Either way, establishing the friendship first is very important to me.



If he sees being my friend as me "not being direct" or playing games, then I would feel no loss if he chose to move on. We could still remain friends without hard feelings. I don't believe in the "friend zone". Either you're my friend or you aren't and vice versa. I'd hope he finds himself a woman that's more his speed.

Right and that makes sense. The only question is, what if the guy having known you only as a friend, can't get his mind to shift you out of that category? Sounds like from you last response, nothing would happen in that case and you'd keep the friendship.

Sorry for the 50 questions, I ask this from personal experience. I actually have had to "friendzone" more women than I'd like because of work, life, etc, though there's usually a reason. Over time I get to know them better of course, but once I set that block in my brain it can be hard to remove. I start to realize there are other factors at risk by pursuing someone romantically who is already in my group of friends.

Also whenever a woman has said, "let's be just friends" only to change the script later, I can't help but think that she has NO idea what she wants. As a result she then comes off as inconsistent (or wishy-washy) to me.

I also know that guys will agree to being "just friends" with the hope of getting somewhere further down the line with a woman. In my mind it's not a real friendship, the expectation are simply delayed. This means that the mask never full drops. It can be a simple ploy to create a false sense of security in the woman. Of course this "trick" usually backfires since for a lot of women "just friends" means there's no chance of further advancement past something platonic.

I do not refer to a man as a ‘friend’ if I have an interest in him. If I use that term in anyway then he is indeed a friend and sometimes I will have to reiterate it because it has been misunderstood a couple of times. Now I may go out with him, call him, flirt with him, text him, but I do not automatically assume we are dating and I do assume he is seeing other people. I prefer the direct approach when it comes to dating and based on how reserved I act I understand a man’s mentality thinking it may be too forward. However, I don’t like the guesswork, it’s a turn off. Rather I ask ‘what are your intentions on getting to know me?’ At this point, the man needs to be honest. If he tells me he doesn’t know then that is my queue it will be a time waster. If he tells me that he doesn’t jump into relationships right away and likes to form a friendship then I am more likely to follow him down this path. At some point I will decide if I want to continue or move elsewhere. Regardless of my choice, I bear the responsibility of its outcome.

Posted by magma
Chuckcem:

I think the best indicator of interest in any relationship, with Virgo especially, comes down to the level of response, and especially reciprocation, that you're getting. Kind of a no brainer really, but it doesn't seem to solve the problems that people have with them.

If a Virgo is good with the speed and direction of the relationship, they will almost certainly, at the very least, be responsive. Once trust starts to develop, so does their reciprocation. With fire moon and rising, I can understand that the only time some (edit: fire) signs are only going 80 mph is when they're pulling into their driveways. But when some Virgos see that, their first thought will probably be, "Mental note to self: never ever ride with that toilet head." (Although once they're really into you, they probably will and laugh about it.) Over stimulation in the early days doesn't work so well.

So if it's not progressing in the early days, I'd recommend that one throttle back to gentle on their minds speed.

In your case, you may well be doing better than you think.

+1. When consistency is present, that is your key to move in for the kill 😉.

This is how confusion derives when people put too much thought into labels. Just let the relationship unfold.

So basically unless you have interest in the beginning, you tend to let things unfold over time. Yeah usually the word "friend" stops me in my tracks, so I'd be confused if someone started calling and flirting with me after saying that.

click to expand

Basically. Don't pay attention to the label. Pay attention to her actions. In my case, I do more to lessen the confusion.

Posted by Virgorean

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by Virgorean

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by xXxQueenliciaXxX

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by xXxQueenliciaXxX

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by xXxQueenliciaXxX

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by xXxQueenliciaXxX

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by xXxQueenliciaXxX
Automatic friend zone.

I want us to know each other and be friends first and foremost.

See and I know some people who do this and it throws me for a loop. It always seems like a quick way to confuse the other person.

I mean, I'm pretty direct with my feelings.



If I say "I don't see you in that way" or "all I want is your friendship", then that is what I mean.



If I say "let's stay friends...for now" then that's my way of saying that I'm interested but would like to take things slow.



Do you find that confusing?

No, that makes sense. Though if I heard, "Let's stay friends for now" I'd probably hear the same thing as "All I want is friendship." Interesting though. I'd assume though that if you did like someone you would just tell them outright, no?

Nah, because it's not guaranteed that I'll stay interested. It takes a lot for a guy to get and keep my interest.



It's better to just let things unfold naturally and see where they go. At least that's how I prefer it to happen.

Hm interesting, how does someone (who may or may not know you're interested in them) hold your attention? Do you find their consistency more attractive? Or do you find yourself drawn to a particular mystique? Is it easier for you to observe when they have NO clue you're interested?

What I've noticed about guys, is that guys, are a lot like wild horses. You have to break them in sometimes.



My "process" of breaking a guy down (who I see potential in) is by being friendly, yet disconnected. Which isn't hard for me because I already am kind of disconnected.



Anyway, this "disconnect" makes guys let their guard down. How? Because they stop doing the things that they normally would in order to impress a female they believe they have a chance with.



When guys realize they don't have a chance with you, that is when they let their true selves show because they're no long putting on that act of trying to impress you in order to date you or get into your pants. Does that make sense?



So yes, it's easier for me to observe when I'm keeping them at a distance.

Oh totally, I get that logic. My only question then is, what about the guys who are completely worthwhile and aren't breakable, the ones who don't fit that mold?

So let's say 95% of guys are breakable (or inconsistent) wild horses. They're just putting on a nice face to get closer to you. What about the other 5% of guys who are totally secure in themselves and have no masks? Meaning when you back away their real guy is still the same person. That type of guy generally has options so friendzoning thim before he even know your intentions is almost like shooting yourself in the foot, no?

What happens if you realize the guy is 100% , but now he's friendzoned you and is focused on women he considered to be "more direct"?

If that's who he is then the consistency in his personality will show, whether I keep him at a distance or not. I pick up on that sort of thing also. I understand not all guys are putting on a show, but many are in today's society. So as a woman who actually takes relationships (both romantic and platonic) seriously, you have to make sure you play your cards right when it comes to who you allow in your circle.



I would still be friends with the guy who didn't waiver his personality based on relationship status even if he chose to move on. Friend zoning isn't just for weeding out guys who may have ill intentions, it also gives you the opportunity to see if that chemistry truly is there. I personally believe that the greatest love is one that is based off of friendship first and foremost. Either way, establishing the friendship first is very important to me.



If he sees being my friend as me "not being direct" or playing games, then I would feel no loss if he chose to move on. We could still remain friends without hard feelings. I don't believe in the "friend zone". Either you're my friend or you aren't and vice versa. I'd hope he finds himself a woman that's more his speed.

Right and that makes sense. The only question is, what if the guy having known you only as a friend, can't get his mind to shift you out of that category? Sounds like from you last response, nothing would happen in that case and you'd keep the friendship.

Sorry for the 50 questions, I ask this from personal experience. I actually have had to "friendzone" more women than I'd like because of work, life, etc, though there's usually a reason. Over time I get to know them better of course, but once I set that block in my brain it can be hard to remove. I start to realize there are other factors at risk by pursuing someone romantically who is already in my group of friends.

Also whenever a woman has said, "let's be just friends" only to change the script later, I can't help but think that she has NO idea what she wants. As a result she then comes off as inconsistent (or wishy-washy) to me.

I also know that guys will agree to being "just friends" with the hope of getting somewhere further down the line with a woman. In my mind it's not a real friendship, the expectation are simply delayed. This means that the mask never full drops. It can be a simple ploy to create a false sense of security in the woman. Of course this "trick" usually backfires since for a lot of women "just friends" means there's no chance of further advancement past something platonic.

I do not refer to a man as a ‘friend’ if I have an interest in him. If I use that term in anyway then he is indeed a friend and sometimes I will have to reiterate it because it has been misunderstood a couple of times. Now I may go out with him, call him, flirt with him, text him, but I do not automatically assume we are dating and I do assume he is seeing other people. I prefer the direct approach when it comes to dating and based on how reserved I act I understand a man’s mentality thinking it may be too forward. However, I don’t like the guesswork, it’s a turn off. Rather I ask ‘what are your intentions on getting to know me?’ At this point, the man needs to be honest. If he tells me he doesn’t know then that is my queue it will be a time waster. If he tells me that he doesn’t jump into relationships right away and likes to form a friendship then I am more likely to follow him down this path. At some point I will decide if I want to continue or move elsewhere. Regardless of my choice, I bear the responsibility of its outcome.

Posted by magma
Chuckcem:

I think the best indicator of interest in any relationship, with Virgo especially, comes down to the level of response, and especially reciprocation, that you're getting. Kind of a no brainer really, but it doesn't seem to solve the problems that people have with them.

If a Virgo is good with the speed and direction of the relationship, they will almost certainly, at the very least, be responsive. Once trust starts to develop, so does their reciprocation. With fire moon and rising, I can understand that the only time some (edit: fire) signs are only going 80 mph is when they're pulling into their driveways. But when some Virgos see that, their first thought will probably be, "Mental note to self: never ever ride with that toilet head." (Although once they're really into you, they probably will and laugh about it.) Over stimulation in the early days doesn't work so well.

So if it's not progressing in the early days, I'd recommend that one throttle back to gentle on their minds speed.

In your case, you may well be doing better than you think.

+1. When consistency is present, that is your key to move in for the kill 😉.

This is how confusion derives when people put too much thought into labels. Just let the relationship unfold.

So basically unless you have interest in the beginning, you tend to let things unfold over time. Yeah usually the word "friend" stops me in my tracks, so I'd be confused if someone started calling and flirting with me after saying that.

Basically. Don't pay attention to the label. Pay attention to her actions. In my case, I do more to lessen the confusion.

click to expand

Yeah I'm not big on labels anyway, so it's not a problem.

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by MoonshineLeo
I agree on the drama at first part. When i first started dating my virgo we hung out and talked everyday then things started to die down and he disappeared. He came back after a month and apologized and said he would never do that to me again and that hes ready to fully commit to me. But now how can i be ready for that when you disappeared for a whole month? its complicated but i never went anywhere and i am being super patient with him and he loves that. I live a very peaceful life so i dont want the drama in our relationships and he knows this. I know how chaotic virgos can be in relationships and i just hopeeee we have a healthy relationship...drama free...

Right which according to @Damnata there may be a method to that madness that only the Virgo understands. How long have you been with your Virgo? Disappearing for a month is a long time (especially in a Leo's mind). Did he say what he was doing that whole time?

click to expand

we started seeing eachother at the beginning of this year. And yea disappearing for a whole month is a long time in my mind too. I wondered everyday what i did wrong. He told me he had been talking to his ex again (which i had the feeling he was) and he said it was hard to part ways with his ex's daughter (he helped raise her) and he needed closure and after talking to her he realized he wants to move on and be in a healthy relationship. He still asks for me to be patient with him which i am but im not jumping back in with two feet just yet.

Posted by MoonshineLeo

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by MoonshineLeo
I agree on the drama at first part. When i first started dating my virgo we hung out and talked everyday then things started to die down and he disappeared. He came back after a month and apologized and said he would never do that to me again and that hes ready to fully commit to me. But now how can i be ready for that when you disappeared for a whole month? its complicated but i never went anywhere and i am being super patient with him and he loves that. I live a very peaceful life so i dont want the drama in our relationships and he knows this. I know how chaotic virgos can be in relationships and i just hopeeee we have a healthy relationship...drama free...

Right which according to @Damnata there may be a method to that madness that only the Virgo understands. How long have you been with your Virgo? Disappearing for a month is a long time (especially in a Leo's mind). Did he say what he was doing that whole time?

we started seeing eachother at the beginning of this year. And yea disappearing for a whole month is a long time in my mind too. I wondered everyday what i did wrong. He told me he had been talking to his ex again (which i had the feeling he was) and he said it was hard to part ways with his ex's daughter (he helped raise her) and he needed closure and after talking to her he realized he wants to move on and be in a healthy relationship. He still asks for me to be patient with him which i am but im not jumping back in with two feet just yet.

click to expand

Well that's one thing I'll give Virgos, they know how to be honest, even if it's self effacing. Granted he should have told you this before he left. To me it sounds like he was keeping you on the back burner. He knew if he told you that he was going back to his ex, you'd probably run away. I don't blame you for being cautious, a Leo heart is nothing to play with.

Sounds like you've mostly forgiven him for this indiscretion. My concern would be him asking you to be patient with him. He should've sorted himself out for that month he ghosted and tied up his loose ends. Me personally I would just say, "Hey no worries, we can still date. It sounds like your life is still a bit hectic though, so let me know when you'd like to be exclusive." Then at least you have the option to date someone else and not focus solely on him.

Posted by starwars

Posted by Virgorean
Do your Virgo friends have a lot of water in their charts or are into relationships with water signs? Mine have always been drama-free and effortless.

Initially, I can be pretty oblivious to someone who is interested unless I’m outright told or I begin to take notice. Once I confirm I will friend you, become pleasant, get to know you, observe you. I’ll know right away if I like you or not. If I’m interested I will jump right into the dating phase. I’m not a casual dater and I’ve never found online dating appealing so chances are if you’ve reached this far then entering into a relationship is highly likely. However, I will start to pull back a bit to reassess my feelings if how I truly feel is merely puppy love or if I can determine potential long term. We have to be riding the same wavelength for it to progress.

Finding it tough to leave broken people has been true for my case. I apply it to family members as well. Any long term relationship is a commitment and I’m determined to make it work. If the relationship doesn’t work then I feel like I’ve failed him/her and myself. Virgos have a tough time acknowledging failure so we justify we need to fix X, Y, and Z and then we can return to our perfect bubble. When realistically, the person and the relationship was toxic.

I'm the same way.

for the second part, for me it doesn't have to do with failure but for whether I genuinely care about them or not, the bond we have...etc. if a relationship turned toxic and doing us no good its easy for me to walk away for both people benefits, I don't try to fix nobody, it either work out or not. I'd help but make sure they know its because I genuinely care not because I want to stay with them.

click to expand

Funny thing is, I definitely have the oblivious thing. I've definitely dated women only because they blurted out their feelings (or had a friend do it for them), otherwise I would have never known. I'm also not a casual dater. I prefer to observe people first, so generally the women I date come from work, friends, etc. So generally by the time I start dating a woman, I find out that she's liked me for A WHILE. I think that's my Virgo Moon at play.

Once I know a woman is actually interested though the Leo kicks in and it's GAME ON!

So I invited a Virgo woman out to hang with me and my friends. She wound up canceling saying that she worked late and didn't want to have to get ready just to show up late. I let her know that none of us would be showing up on time because of work and traffic. She however felt odd about not being punctual. I let her know it was all good and she said, "Man, why are you be so cool about this?" In my mind we're just friends, so it wasn't a big deal.

She then said that it would be best if we reschedule for another time. I told her that was cool, but if she changed her mind to let me know. She repeated it would be better if we reschedule and we could go out for food next time. I'm going to guess that she wants to get food as friends...I have no clue.

Posted by xXxQueenliciaXxX

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by xXxQueenliciaXxX
Automatic friend zone.

I want us to know each other and be friends first and foremost.

See and I know some people who do this and it throws me for a loop. It always seems like a quick way to confuse the other person.

I mean, I'm pretty direct with my feelings.



If I say "I don't see you in that way" or "all I want is your friendship", then that is what I mean.



If I say "let's stay friends...for now" then that's my way of saying that I'm interested but would like to take things slow.



Do you find that confusing?

click to expand

Aren't you an Aries?

Posted by starwars

Posted by Virgorean
Do your Virgo friends have a lot of water in their charts or are into relationships with water signs? Mine have always been drama-free and effortless.

Initially, I can be pretty oblivious to someone who is interested unless I’m outright told or I begin to take notice. Once I confirm I will friend you, become pleasant, get to know you, observe you. I’ll know right away if I like you or not. If I’m interested I will jump right into the dating phase. I’m not a casual dater and I’ve never found online dating appealing so chances are if you’ve reached this far then entering into a relationship is highly likely. However, I will start to pull back a bit to reassess my feelings if how I truly feel is merely puppy love or if I can determine potential long term. We have to be riding the same wavelength for it to progress.

Finding it tough to leave broken people has been true for my case. I apply it to family members as well. Any long term relationship is a commitment and I’m determined to make it work. If the relationship doesn’t work then I feel like I’ve failed him/her and myself. Virgos have a tough time acknowledging failure so we justify we need to fix X, Y, and Z and then we can return to our perfect bubble. When realistically, the person and the relationship was toxic.

I'm the same way.

for the second part, for me it doesn't have to do with failure but for whether I genuinely care about them or not, the bond we have...etc. if a relationship turned toxic and doing us no good its easy for me to walk away for both people benefits, I don't try to fix nobody, it either work out or not. I'd help but make sure they know its because I genuinely care not because I want to stay with them.

click to expand

I used to think it was easy to walk away, but when so much time is invested it threw the logic out the door :/

Posted by Chuckcem
So I invited a Virgo woman out to hang with me and my friends. She wound up canceling saying that she worked late and didn't want to have to get ready just to show up late. I let her know that none of us would be showing up on time because of work and traffic. She however felt odd about not being punctual. I let her know it was all good and she said, "Man, why are you be so cool about this?" In my mind we're just friends, so it wasn't a big deal.

She then said that it would be best if we reschedule for another time. I told her that was cool, but if she changed her mind to let me know. She repeated it would be better if we reschedule and we could go out for food next time. I'm going to guess that she wants to get food as friends...I have no clue.

She is signaling she wants to get to know you on a personal level first. Your friends come later.

Did you ever get that reschedule?

Posted by Virgorean

Posted by Chuckcem
So I invited a Virgo woman out to hang with me and my friends. She wound up canceling saying that she worked late and didn't want to have to get ready just to show up late. I let her know that none of us would be showing up on time because of work and traffic. She however felt odd about not being punctual. I let her know it was all good and she said, "Man, why are you be so cool about this?" In my mind we're just friends, so it wasn't a big deal.

She then said that it would be best if we reschedule for another time. I told her that was cool, but if she changed her mind to let me know. She repeated it would be better if we reschedule and we could go out for food next time. I'm going to guess that she wants to get food as friends...I have no clue.

She is signaling she wants to get to know you on a personal level first. Your friends come later.

Did you ever get that reschedule?

click to expand

Not yet, I told her to let me know when her schedule is free, so the balls in her court now. She didn't have an alternate date in mind when we last spoke. Usually a woman will give me an alternate date or time frame when she's interested.

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by Virgorean

Posted by Chuckcem
So I invited a Virgo woman out to hang with me and my friends. She wound up canceling saying that she worked late and didn't want to have to get ready just to show up late. I let her know that none of us would be showing up on time because of work and traffic. She however felt odd about not being punctual. I let her know it was all good and she said, "Man, why are you be so cool about this?" In my mind we're just friends, so it wasn't a big deal.

She then said that it would be best if we reschedule for another time. I told her that was cool, but if she changed her mind to let me know. She repeated it would be better if we reschedule and we could go out for food next time. I'm going to guess that she wants to get food as friends...I have no clue.

She is signaling she wants to get to know you on a personal level first. Your friends come later.

Did you ever get that reschedule?

Not yet, I told her to let me know when her schedule is free, so the balls in her court now. She didn't have an alternate date in mind when we last spoke. Usually a woman will give me an alternate date or time frame when she's interested.

click to expand

True. Still early on, give it time.

Posted by Chuckcem
How do you act when you're figuring out a potential love interest?

Let's say you like someone, or even let's say someone likes you, do you keep them at arms length? Do you automatically friend zone them (or yourself)? How long do you wait to determine your feelings, or do you find that you feel a spark when the person (who's been giving you their attention) suddenly backs away.

I ask because I notice none of my Virgo friends have entered a relationship in a....simple way. There always seems to be drama. The more determined person always pushes for the Virgo's attention until the Virgo finally succumbs. I also noticed that my Virgo friends have a hard time leaving broken people but have NO problem brushing aside the stable ones. I'm not sure what that's about. I also noticed that the beginning of Virgo relationships can be very dramatic.

So what has your experience been as you started dating or entering a relationship with someone?

Ok so must of them time its the spark that's the initial pull for me, but it doesn't mean we don't value the friendship that can be something else. I'll admit I've friend zoned but it's not that I didn't like the guys it was really all about my Virgo insecurities...

Now if I guy likes me are is crushing on me and I don't feel the same way I have never lead him on I've always gave hints or told that it was never more than a friendship

we virgos understand feeling even though we are stereotyped about being cold and we don't want to pull in some one so deep and completely blow them off...there is a huge moral compass around

Now about time...I don't know but I've usually waited till I felt comfortable around the person sometimes it's a week other times it's months so it varies for me.

Is their a Virgo in your life?

Posted by DivineWine9

Posted by Chuckcem
How do you act when you're figuring out a potential love interest?

Let's say you like someone, or even let's say someone likes you, do you keep them at arms length? Do you automatically friend zone them (or yourself)? How long do you wait to determine your feelings, or do you find that you feel a spark when the person (who's been giving you their attention) suddenly backs away.

I ask because I notice none of my Virgo friends have entered a relationship in a....simple way. There always seems to be drama. The more determined person always pushes for the Virgo's attention until the Virgo finally succumbs. I also noticed that my Virgo friends have a hard time leaving broken people but have NO problem brushing aside the stable ones. I'm not sure what that's about. I also noticed that the beginning of Virgo relationships can be very dramatic.

So what has your experience been as you started dating or entering a relationship with someone?

Ok so must of them time its the spark that's the initial pull for me, but it doesn't mean we don't value the friendship that can be something else. I'll admit I've friend zoned but it's not that I didn't like the guys it was really all about my Virgo insecurities...

Now if I guy likes me are is crushing on me and I don't feel the same way I have never lead him on I've always gave hints or told that it was never more than a friendship

we virgos understand feeling even though we are stereotyped about being cold and we don't want to pull in some one so deep and completely blow them off...there is a huge moral compass around

Now about time...I don't know but I've usually waited till I felt comfortable around the person sometimes it's a week other times it's months so it varies for me.

Is their a Virgo in your life?

click to expand

I've recently crossed paths with a Virgo. From what I can surmise, she just wants to be friends, but then she does little things that throw me off. For right now I'm treating everything as a "friends only" scenario though.

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by DivineWine9

Posted by Chuckcem
How do you act when you're figuring out a potential love interest?

Let's say you like someone, or even let's say someone likes you, do you keep them at arms length? Do you automatically friend zone them (or yourself)? How long do you wait to determine your feelings, or do you find that you feel a spark when the person (who's been giving you their attention) suddenly backs away.

I ask because I notice none of my Virgo friends have entered a relationship in a....simple way. There always seems to be drama. The more determined person always pushes for the Virgo's attention until the Virgo finally succumbs. I also noticed that my Virgo friends have a hard time leaving broken people but have NO problem brushing aside the stable ones. I'm not sure what that's about. I also noticed that the beginning of Virgo relationships can be very dramatic.

So what has your experience been as you started dating or entering a relationship with someone?

Ok so must of them time its the spark that's the initial pull for me, but it doesn't mean we don't value the friendship that can be something else. I'll admit I've friend zoned but it's not that I didn't like the guys it was really all about my Virgo insecurities...

Now if I guy likes me are is crushing on me and I don't feel the same way I have never lead him on I've always gave hints or told that it was never more than a friendship

we virgos understand feeling even though we are stereotyped about being cold and we don't want to pull in some one so deep and completely blow them off...there is a huge moral compass around

Now about time...I don't know but I've usually waited till I felt comfortable around the person sometimes it's a week other times it's months so it varies for me.

Is their a Virgo in your life?

I've recently crossed paths with a Virgo. From what I can surmise, she just wants to be friends, but then she does little things that throw me off. For right now I'm treating everything as a "friends only" scenario though.

click to expand

Ok nice most Virgos I know love doing things for others they care about so that's a good sign. But sometimes it might be just because they like you as a good friend and respect you and that might get confused as more. But don't give up all hope what little things does she do for you? Virgos are subtle when they like someone. One reason is because some there is this inner shyness even if they appear very bold.

So let me know the context and what little things she does to get a better understanding?

Posted by DivineWine9

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by DivineWine9

Posted by Chuckcem
How do you act when you're figuring out a potential love interest?

Let's say you like someone, or even let's say someone likes you, do you keep them at arms length? Do you automatically friend zone them (or yourself)? How long do you wait to determine your feelings, or do you find that you feel a spark when the person (who's been giving you their attention) suddenly backs away.

I ask because I notice none of my Virgo friends have entered a relationship in a....simple way. There always seems to be drama. The more determined person always pushes for the Virgo's attention until the Virgo finally succumbs. I also noticed that my Virgo friends have a hard time leaving broken people but have NO problem brushing aside the stable ones. I'm not sure what that's about. I also noticed that the beginning of Virgo relationships can be very dramatic.

So what has your experience been as you started dating or entering a relationship with someone?

Ok so must of them time its the spark that's the initial pull for me, but it doesn't mean we don't value the friendship that can be something else. I'll admit I've friend zoned but it's not that I didn't like the guys it was really all about my Virgo insecurities...

Now if I guy likes me are is crushing on me and I don't feel the same way I have never lead him on I've always gave hints or told that it was never more than a friendship

we virgos understand feeling even though we are stereotyped about being cold and we don't want to pull in some one so deep and completely blow them off...there is a huge moral compass around

Now about time...I don't know but I've usually waited till I felt comfortable around the person sometimes it's a week other times it's months so it varies for me.

Is their a Virgo in your life?

I've recently crossed paths with a Virgo. From what I can surmise, she just wants to be friends, but then she does little things that throw me off. For right now I'm treating everything as a "friends only" scenario though.

Ok nice most Virgos I know love doing things for others they care about so that's a good sign. But sometimes it might be just because they like you as a good friend and respect you and that might get confused as more. But don't give up all hope what little things does she do for you? Virgos are subtle when they like someone. One reason is because some there is this inner shyness even if they appear very bold.

So let me know the context and what little things she does to get a better understanding?

click to expand

Well when I say she does little things, it's just been a late night text or a thank you text the next day, etc. She hasn't done anything "for" me per se...well aside from letting me know that the last girl I was dating was a liar. That's a whole different story though.

Posted by xXxQueenliciaXxX

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by xXxQueenliciaXxX

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by xXxQueenliciaXxX
Automatic friend zone.



I want us to know each other and be friends first and foremost.

See and I know some people who do this and it throws me for a loop. It always seems like a quick way to confuse the other person.

I mean, I'm pretty direct with my feelings.



If I say "I don't see you in that way" or "all I want is your friendship", then that is what I mean.



If I say "let's stay friends...for now" then that's my way of saying that I'm interested but would like to take things slow.



Do you find that confusing?

No, that makes sense. Though if I heard, "Let's stay friends for now" I'd probably hear the same thing as "All I want is friendship." Interesting though. I'd assume though that if you did like someone you would just tell them outright, no?

Nah, because it's not guaranteed that I'll stay interested. It takes a lot for a guy to get and keep my interest.



It's better to just let things unfold naturally and see where they go. At least that's how I prefer it to happen.

click to expand

This beautiful woman is an Aries...

Posted by beautifulsoul74
I friendzone myself and someone when I'm interested.

The reason being is that I believe you can't have something solid long term without being good friends first. So, I'll be patient and put any romance on hold in the hopes that it builds in that direction. But my long term aim is ALWAYS commitment. I observe and relax and try to put the pieces in place by showing loyalty, honesty, trust, communication, etc. Sadly, my problem is that it seems the world operates in complete opposition lol.

I would like to hear the answers from Pure Virgo energy not Capricorn Taurus Aries Libra I just want to hear what the Sun in Virgos have to say about this. Lol

Posted by coldwateryvirgo
A simple summary is we take too long to get to know someone . And the fixer upper thing is usually from taking too long to get to know someone , finding out their issues, good and bad we all have them . As a Virgo we want to dig into other people life ...when we find someone we're interested in, what's a better way than the beginning phase of dating process to break someone down to their bare soul . That's a long process, getting to know someone . By the time we come to find out they are broken or not interested in a relationship, we find ourself already attached and emotionally invested in their dreams, hope , flaws . etc. the other person also find themself attached and emotionally invested because they shared too much with us .

Then 2 people who wouldn't have liked each other now form a connection and try to make a relationship work . Some does , some don't

Excellent thanks.

So I thought I should put in my two cents again I suppose

You had said you invited her out with your friends... your friends :/

See if I wanted to get to know someone, I wouldn't like the friends there. Only because I need to know how to act around YOU and if your friends are around it'll be more difficult and I'll have an even larger wall up. I like narrowing it down to one and having conversations one on one. It allows me to figure you out better.

Also, what is your intention with her? Do you just want to get to know her platonically? If so, you're doing it right. If someone asked me out with friends (and we weren't dating or I didn't know this person had feelings for me), I would be like "oh I'm one of his friends" or "oh this is just hanging out, not a date cool".

Posted by Sunsetvirgo
So I thought I should put in my two cents again I suppose

You had said you invited her out with your friends... your friends :/

See if I wanted to get to know someone, I wouldn't like the friends there. Only because I need to know how to act around YOU and if your friends are around it'll be more difficult and I'll have an even larger wall up. I like narrowing it down to one and having conversations one on one. It allows me to figure you out better.

Also, what is your intention with her? Do you just want to get to know her platonically? If so, you're doing it right. If someone asked me out with friends (and we weren't dating or I didn't know this person had feelings for me), I would be like "oh I'm one of his friends" or "oh this is just hanging out, not a date cool".

The only reason I invited my friends is because she was throwing the friend vibe out there. I originally asked her out on a "date", but she said she was recently out of a relationship and moved slowly. I told her that was fine and that I wasn't looking to lock her into a relationship.

When she came over though she said stuff like, "I'm going to be your wing woman tonight and find you a nice girl" and "This isn't a date". Then on the same night she'd bite her lip (couldn't tell if that was attraction or just her nervous energy. I noticed she bites her lip in other situations too) and share stuff with me that she supposedly has never told another human being (mind you this was all dispersed over the course of the night).

Then the next weekend I get a text from her at 5am, when I respond back the next day I hear nothing. So I invited her out again, which we moved the plans to he following weekend. At that point I figured she's just being friendly so I invited friends over too. So she came over, we got dinner, and then joined up with a group of two more of my friends (a guy and a girl she's met before). Then the next day she sent me a thank you text saying that she had fun with all of us. I generally only get thank you texts after dates, so I figured she was just being nice.

So I invited her out to a friend's get together (another person she's met), but she cancelled because he got off of work late and lives far. She also seemed nervous about showing up late to a house where she didn't know everyone (she's mentioned she's an introvert before). She said we should reschedule and do dinner. So I told her no worries, and to let me know when she's free.

So in my mind I thought, well if we're "just friends" then I'll just invite her to friendly events. This is why I'm not a fan of the "friend" route. I like being very direct and cutting straight to the point. Generally I'm more aggressive, but I'm a bit thrown off by how she and I met as well.

@DivineWine9 Why the hidden posts? I was going to respond to you.

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by Sunsetvirgo
So I thought I should put in my two cents again I suppose

You had said you invited her out with your friends... your friends :/

See if I wanted to get to know someone, I wouldn't like the friends there. Only because I need to know how to act around YOU and if your friends are around it'll be more difficult and I'll have an even larger wall up. I like narrowing it down to one and having conversations one on one. It allows me to figure you out better.

Also, what is your intention with her? Do you just want to get to know her platonically? If so, you're doing it right. If someone asked me out with friends (and we weren't dating or I didn't know this person had feelings for me), I would be like "oh I'm one of his friends" or "oh this is just hanging out, not a date cool".

The only reason I invited my friends is because she was throwing the friend vibe out there. I originally asked her out on a "date", but she said she was recently out of a relationship and moved slowly. I told her that was fine and that I wasn't looking to lock her into a relationship.

When she came over though she said stuff like, "I'm going to be your wing woman tonight and find you a nice girl" and "This isn't a date". Then on the same night she'd bite her lip (couldn't tell if that was attraction or just her nervous energy. I noticed she bites her lip in other situations too) and share stuff with me that she supposedly has never told another human being (mind you this was all dispersed over the course of the night).

Then the next weekend I get a text from her at 5am, when I respond back the next day I hear nothing. So I invited her out again, which we moved the plans to he following weekend. At that point I figured she's just being friendly so I invited friends over too. So she came over, we got dinner, and then joined up with a group of two more of my friends (a guy and a girl she's met before). Then the next day she sent me a thank you text saying that she had fun with all of us. I generally only get thank you texts after dates, so I figured she was just being nice.

So I invited her out to a friend's get together (another person she's met), but she cancelled because he got off of work late and lives far. She also seemed nervous about showing up late to a house where she didn't know everyone (she's mentioned she's an introvert before). She said we should reschedule and do dinner. So I told her no worries, and to let me know when she's free.

So in my mind I thought, well if we're "just friends" then I'll just invite her to friendly events. This is why I'm not a fan of the "friend" route. I like being very direct and cutting straight to the point. Generally I'm more aggressive, but I'm a bit thrown off by how she and I met as well.

click to expand

Hmmm I see

So I'm just going to go out on a limb here (bc Idk her placements) but me? If I say "I'm going to be your wing woman" or encourage you to other girls in general, it usually means "so I'm getting over my recent relationship and I wanna know what your reaction would be if I said this". Or it can simply mean exactly what I said. Like I wanna help you get girls.

Girls in general I feel bite their lip, but I know countless Virgals that have told me how that's gotten them in trouble. Including myself. Ive been told my eyes get wider when I do this and if I'm chewing my lip I look deep in thought about who knows what. That whole "accidental flirting" thing was probably invented for Virgos smh.

Oh so she's been out with you and your friends before then, I see. I totally get the whole "being late around people I don't know" thing. I don't want to seem rude, and coming late seems like I'll be barging in and I'll also be held at a disadvantage of meeting everyone.

So you're okay with being friends then, if nothing comes out of this?

I notice you're intrigued with her behavior, but there aren't any feelings behind that intrigue at this point?

That Leo aggression may help if you want to pursue her. It worked on me ??‍♀️

But you know her better than any of us on this site, so only do things off of her cues she gives you.

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by Sunsetvirgo
So I thought I should put in my two cents again I suppose

You had said you invited her out with your friends... your friends :/

See if I wanted to get to know someone, I wouldn't like the friends there. Only because I need to know how to act around YOU and if your friends are around it'll be more difficult and I'll have an even larger wall up. I like narrowing it down to one and having conversations one on one. It allows me to figure you out better.

Also, what is your intention with her? Do you just want to get to know her platonically? If so, you're doing it right. If someone asked me out with friends (and we weren't dating or I didn't know this person had feelings for me), I would be like "oh I'm one of his friends" or "oh this is just hanging out, not a date cool".

The only reason I invited my friends is because she was throwing the friend vibe out there. I originally asked her out on a "date", but she said she was recently out of a relationship and moved slowly. I told her that was fine and that I wasn't looking to lock her into a relationship.

When she came over though she said stuff like, "I'm going to be your wing woman tonight and find you a nice girl" and "This isn't a date". Then on the same night she'd bite her lip (couldn't tell if that was attraction or just her nervous energy. I noticed she bites her lip in other situations too) and share stuff with me that she supposedly has never told another human being (mind you this was all dispersed over the course of the night).

Then the next weekend I get a text from her at 5am, when I respond back the next day I hear nothing. So I invited her out again, which we moved the plans to he following weekend. At that point I figured she's just being friendly so I invited friends over too. So she came over, we got dinner, and then joined up with a group of two more of my friends (a guy and a girl she's met before). Then the next day she sent me a thank you text saying that she had fun with all of us. I generally only get thank you texts after dates, so I figured she was just being nice.

So I invited her out to a friend's get together (another person she's met), but she cancelled because he got off of work late and lives far. She also seemed nervous about showing up late to a house where she didn't know everyone (she's mentioned she's an introvert before). She said we should reschedule and do dinner. So I told her no worries, and to let me know when she's free.

So in my mind I thought, well if we're "just friends" then I'll just invite her to friendly events. This is why I'm not a fan of the "friend" route. I like being very direct and cutting straight to the point. Generally I'm more aggressive, but I'm a bit thrown off by how she and I met as well.

click to expand

Hey sounds like she likes you! I'm a introvert Virgo and I bite my lip every time I'm nervous around a guy...ugh I hate getting nervous around guys that I like I just don't understand why the Virgo in me does that...but getting back to the point most Virgos when they like you don't want the friends over they have to get to know you first...to know that you care and a lot of times the Virgo insecurities start coming in. For example, what if I don't like him as much as I thing I do? What if he does like me can I stand up to his standards? Etcetera...sometimes we are just scared of letting go and feeling our feelings so we start rationalizing feelings and build distance because we are so deeply scared of hurting others and ourselves. I think she likes you but is very afraid...don't push but nudge make her feel safe maybe a Netflix bunch with ice cream, no other friends she might come off nervous even in this situation but she will become comfortable soon. We Virgo gals love comfort but don't rush into things...I love the Leo energy but the directness throws be off at times. We know you Leo's have big golden hearts and we love that. Wishing you the best!!! And I apologize I thought you were a Cancer at first...the waters they flood me ?

And I agree with sunsetVirgo her two cents are spot on We also tent to bite our lips when we are thinking tho...bad habits die hard ?

Posted by Sunsetvirgo

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by Sunsetvirgo
So I thought I should put in my two cents again I suppose

You had said you invited her out with your friends... your friends :/

See if I wanted to get to know someone, I wouldn't like the friends there. Only because I need to know how to act around YOU and if your friends are around it'll be more difficult and I'll have an even larger wall up. I like narrowing it down to one and having conversations one on one. It allows me to figure you out better.

Also, what is your intention with her? Do you just want to get to know her platonically? If so, you're doing it right. If someone asked me out with friends (and we weren't dating or I didn't know this person had feelings for me), I would be like "oh I'm one of his friends" or "oh this is just hanging out, not a date cool".

The only reason I invited my friends is because she was throwing the friend vibe out there. I originally asked her out on a "date", but she said she was recently out of a relationship and moved slowly. I told her that was fine and that I wasn't looking to lock her into a relationship.

When she came over though she said stuff like, "I'm going to be your wing woman tonight and find you a nice girl" and "This isn't a date". Then on the same night she'd bite her lip (couldn't tell if that was attraction or just her nervous energy. I noticed she bites her lip in other situations too) and share stuff with me that she supposedly has never told another human being (mind you this was all dispersed over the course of the night).

Then the next weekend I get a text from her at 5am, when I respond back the next day I hear nothing. So I invited her out again, which we moved the plans to he following weekend. At that point I figured she's just being friendly so I invited friends over too. So she came over, we got dinner, and then joined up with a group of two more of my friends (a guy and a girl she's met before). Then the next day she sent me a thank you text saying that she had fun with all of us. I generally only get thank you texts after dates, so I figured she was just being nice.

So I invited her out to a friend's get together (another person she's met), but she cancelled because he got off of work late and lives far. She also seemed nervous about showing up late to a house where she didn't know everyone (she's mentioned she's an introvert before). She said we should reschedule and do dinner. So I told her no worries, and to let me know when she's free.

So in my mind I thought, well if we're "just friends" then I'll just invite her to friendly events. This is why I'm not a fan of the "friend" route. I like being very direct and cutting straight to the point. Generally I'm more aggressive, but I'm a bit thrown off by how she and I met as well.

Hmmm I see

So I'm just going to go out on a limb here (bc Idk her placements) but me? If I say "I'm going to be your wing woman" or encourage you to other girls in general, it usually means "so I'm getting over my recent relationship and I wanna know what your reaction would be if I said this". Or it can simply mean exactly what I said. Like I wanna help you get girls.

Girls in general I feel bite their lip, but I know countless Virgals that have told me how that's gotten them in trouble. Including myself. Ive been told my eyes get wider when I do this and if I'm chewing my lip I look deep in thought about who knows what. That whole "accidental flirting" thing was probably invented for Virgos smh.

Oh so she's been out with you and your friends before then, I see. I totally get the whole "being late around people I don't know" thing. I don't want to seem rude, and coming late seems like I'll be barging in and I'll also be held at a disadvantage of meeting everyone.

So you're okay with being friends then, if nothing comes out of this?

I notice you're intrigued with her behavior, but there aren't any feelings behind that intrigue at this point?

That Leo aggression may help if you want to pursue her. It worked on me ??‍♀️

But you know her better than any of us on this site, so only do things off of her cues she gives you.

click to expand

Her placements are:

Virgo Sun, Gemini Moon, Libra Mercury, Virgo Venus, Virgo Mars.

Everything is so early, that I'm fine with her friendship. Yes there was some intrigue due to how we met, but it's not something I feel obliged to push. Her actions confused me, but I'm cool with hanging back.

Posted by blackmoon
Being a virgo moon and venus and mercury its like..childish

Hiding from your crush, even being in a relationship is like you are crushing on this person.. and saying things you dont mean

Keep them in arms length, until they intiate.. There's a natural desire to help.. but I wouldn't leave behind a stable one.

That does sound childish. What if I just....do nothing. Not ignore her...just....do nothing...Just stop inviting her out.

Posted by blackmoon

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by blackmoon
Being a virgo moon and venus and mercury its like..childish

Hiding from your crush, even being in a relationship is like you are crushing on this person.. and saying things you dont mean

Keep them in arms length, until they intiate.. There's a natural desire to help.. but I wouldn't leave behind a stable one.

That does sound childish. What if I just....do nothing. Not ignore her...just....do nothing...Just stop inviting her out.

The answer is to pursue her, that's a way to be in a relationship with a virgo because if you don't, she'll assume you dont want her. Its weird.. but yeah reason why flirty types ends up dating virgos.

Just try to be there for her.. tell her sweet things and try to get her to open up to you. She might be unsure, if you want her



Now I see shes a gem moon, it might be different. Those signs are like the opposite ? gems keep friends of all gender and like socializing, but still Virgo VENUS

click to expand

I agree...pursue her most Virgos like the subtle pursuers...lol now there are also Virgos who pursue buy rare, but don't over think if your fine with friendship that's good, but if you want more pursue it will happen...Virgos make my head dizzy and I'm one...smh

Posted by Chuckcem
@DivineWine9 Why the hidden posts? I was going to respond to you.

I'm sorry Chuckcem...new to the forum...thought you could still read them even if they are hidden since you started the original thread...this is me being tech illiterate...respond away if you see them now. Hope it's going well with the Virgo in your life.

Posted by DivineWine9

Posted by Chuckcem
@DivineWine9 Why the hidden posts? I was going to respond to you.

I'm sorry Chuckcem...new to the forum...thought you could still read them even if they are hidden since you started the original thread...this is me being tech illiterate...respond away if you see them now. Hope it's going well with the Virgo in your life.

click to expand

All good. I haven't talked to her in a week or so, but I'll probably reach out to see if she wants to go out.

Posted by xXxQueenliciaXxX

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by xXxQueenliciaXxX
Automatic friend zone.

I want us to know each other and be friends first and foremost.

See and I know some people who do this and it throws me for a loop. It always seems like a quick way to confuse the other person.

I mean, I'm pretty direct with my feelings.



If I say "I don't see you in that way" or "all I want is your friendship", then that is what I mean.



If I say "let's stay friends...for now" then that's my way of saying that I'm interested but would like to take things slow.



Do you find that confusing?

click to expand

I'm that way too, very clear and direct if you make your intentions known.

The truth about Virgos is we are very selective and we also believe in the full package, waiting for the perfect Love and Prince Charming. We are traditional and conservative people.

For myself, I'd observe traits I'd want in a future husband. I hate tardiness or sloppiness and definitely going for the dominating alpha male who is sensual. Having romantic vibes alone is not enough because we want to find someone we can live with comfortably in real life and doesn't make our life boring or dull. We want our marriage life to be practical and special.

It takes a lot for us to go into relationship cos most could not pass our initial stage of assessment. Yes, we are perfectionist. We know human beings are not perfect, but with effort, you make take things to a higher level and standard of living. We dislike mediocrity and is always upgrading ourselves or circumstances, therefore we look for a stronger male who can take care of us and are strong enough to be Providers.

Too many men are wimpy nowadays and their abilities might not even match up to women, so that is a turn-off.

For those who stay in broken relationships, that is because while it is difficult to get Virgo to jump into relationship, once we decide on you, we give you our all, including love. We believe in unconditional love and will condition us to sacrifice ourselves, our time and resources for you to get whatever you want. Virgos are the sign of service, so they are innately tuned to fix others' lives and needs. We are very dependable and reliable people who can be counted upon to get your back if our hearts are set on you.

One of my friends is very talented and accomplished with high standards. On the downside, he's passive. Once an opportunistic woman approach him to solve all his problems at work and eventually got him to marry him. She doesn't fit his high standards at all, but he felt he is able to 'fix' her. Was together in a toxic relationship for a few years. She then commit infidelity and on towards her fourth relationship. Men to her are like her lifeguards whom she hooks on for security cos she can't hold on to a job or do good work.

Posted by Nefertari

Posted by xXxQueenliciaXxX

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by xXxQueenliciaXxX
Automatic friend zone.

I want us to know each other and be friends first and foremost.

See and I know some people who do this and it throws me for a loop. It always seems like a quick way to confuse the other person.

I mean, I'm pretty direct with my feelings.



If I say "I don't see you in that way" or "all I want is your friendship", then that is what I mean.



If I say "let's stay friends...for now" then that's my way of saying that I'm interested but would like to take things slow.



Do you find that confusing?

I'm that way too, very clear and direct if you make your intentions known.

The truth about Virgos is we are very selective and we also believe in the full package, waiting for the perfect Love and Prince Charming. We are traditional and conservative people.

For myself, I'd observe traits I'd want in a future husband. I hate tardiness or sloppiness and definitely going for the dominating alpha male who is sensual. Having romantic vibes alone is not enough because we want to find someone we can live with comfortably in real life and doesn't make our life boring or dull. We want our marriage life to be practical and special.

It takes a lot for us to go into relationship cos most could not pass our initial stage of assessment. Yes, we are perfectionist. We know human beings are not perfect, but with effort, you make take things to a higher level and standard of living. We dislike mediocrity and is always upgrading ourselves or circumstances, therefore we look for a stronger male who can take care of us and are strong enough to be Providers.

Too many men are wimpy nowadays and their abilities might not even match up to women, so that is a turn-off.

For those who stay in broken relationships, that is because while it is difficult to get Virgo to jump into relationship, once we decide on you, we give you our all, including love. We believe in unconditional love and will condition us to sacrifice ourselves, our time and resources for you to get whatever you want. Virgos are the sign of service, so they are innately tuned to fix others' lives and needs. We are very dependable and reliable people who can be counted upon to get your back if our hearts are set on you.

One of my friends is very talented and accomplished with high standards. On the downside, he's passive. Once an opportunistic woman approach him to solve all his problems at work and eventually got him to marry him. She doesn't fit his high standards at all, but he felt he is able to 'fix' her. Was together in a toxic relationship for a few years. She then commit infidelity and on towards her fourth relationship. Men to her are like her lifeguards whom she hooks on for security cos she can't hold on to a job or do good work.

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I think you summed up most Virgos we are the sign of service and will devote our unconditional love to you because we want to not because we feel a sense of obligation...this is true only if we really love you. I guess that's why many Virgos are choosy when they see some one of interest. Virgos want to make sure he's the one...yes we are conservative but have this eternal optimism for Prince Charming/ knight in shining armor...anyone that can bring the light out in us.

Personally, I don't like any one who is tardy or sloppy but I can brush it to the side if I care for you. I don't care if you don't have an ideal job as long as you are passionate and are making the steps to succeed in what ever arena. Plus I do need some spark... I can't drag on in monotony for too long.

Yes I agree guys can be wimpy at times, I understand we live in modern times and girls can make the move as well...but I shy away from it most times. I know Virgos that are bold and go for it which is fine and it has worked out for the best. But being a conservative Virgo I need the guy to make the move first 99.99% of the time, make it 100% of the time...lol. Smh

What happened to gentlemen? I hardly see a guy open a car door or a door for anyone let alone a woman. I'm not saying I can't open doors myself, it would just be nice once in a while. I've noticed most guys my generation are more likely to slam a door in your face than open one...

Anyways let the fire build no rush with most Virgos, we love all even the ones who crush our hearts. Most Virgos leave the bitterness, resentment all the negative energy at the door once they have left any relationship. So starting out a new is not that difficult we will give all, yes all if we know you guys are invested as well.

Well looks like I'm going to get together with her nextweekend. She's been very responsive, so that's a plus.

Posted by Chuckcem
Well looks like I'm going to get together with her nextweekend. She's been very responsive, so that's a plus.

What will you guys be doing?

I figured it was her busyness. I'll rarely make future plans then back out with someone I'm interested in getting to know. Take it easy and have fun!

Edit: Just read she has Virgo Venus and Mars. You're in for a slow ride haha.

Posted by Virgorean

Posted by Chuckcem
Well looks like I'm going to get together with her nextweekend. She's been very responsive, so that's a plus.

What will you guys be doing?

I figured it was her busyness. I'll rarely make future plans then back out with someone I'm interested in getting to know. Take it easy and have fun!

Edit: Just read she has Virgo Venus and Mars. You're in for a slow ride haha.

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I invited her to get dinner with me. It's an idea we've been discussing for while actually. I tend to fill the night with activities though, so I'm sure we'll be doing more than just that. I have a few ideas I'm tossing around based on some of the interests she's shared with me.

To be honest, this is one of the times when I feel the mutable Virgo energy the most. I will try to match the exact behavior needed to that of the object of my affection. If he's try to win me over with a gregarious and confident style , I'll let him. If he's more on the shy side, I'll completely take over and my Leo Ascending exuberant energy will be turned on. And I study them the entire time! ?

Posted by Chuckcem
How do you act when you're figuring out a potential love interest?

Let's say you like someone, or even let's say someone likes you, do you keep them at arms length? Do you automatically friend zone them (or yourself)? How long do you wait to determine your feelings, or do you find that you feel a spark when the person (who's been giving you their attention) suddenly backs away.

I ask because I notice none of my Virgo friends have entered a relationship in a....simple way. There always seems to be drama. The more determined person always pushes for the Virgo's attention until the Virgo finally succumbs. I also noticed that my Virgo friends have a hard time leaving broken people but have NO problem brushing aside the stable ones. I'm not sure what that's about. I also noticed that the beginning of Virgo relationships can be very dramatic.

So what has your experience been as you started dating or entering a relationship with someone?

Apparently, I turn into a giddy schoolgirl. That's how it was with the Scorp anyway. *embarrassed to admit it* smh

The connection was immediate, obviously more so from me than him. The only drama was his pulling back and ghosting me, which obviously left me very confused. (how I got here on dxp) I'd never experienced that from anyone, my whole life...

I keep the "broken ones" close, but, the "stable ones" closer. (friends, not lovers) They're my rock and keep me grounded. I've always befriended the underdogs.

Posted by Virgorean

Posted by Chuckcem
Well looks like I'm going to get together with her nextweekend. She's been very responsive, so that's a plus.

What will you guys be doing?

I figured it was her busyness. I'll rarely make future plans then back out with someone I'm interested in getting to know. Take it easy and have fun!

Edit: Just read she has Virgo Venus and Mars. You're in for a slow ride haha.

click to expand

So looks like those plans are getting pushed back one week due to family. We'll see what happens next week.

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by Virgorean

Posted by Chuckcem
Well looks like I'm going to get together with her nextweekend. She's been very responsive, so that's a plus.

What will you guys be doing?

I figured it was her busyness. I'll rarely make future plans then back out with someone I'm interested in getting to know. Take it easy and have fun!

Edit: Just read she has Virgo Venus and Mars. You're in for a slow ride haha.

So looks like those plans are getting pushed back one week due to family. We'll see what happens next week.

click to expand

Sounds like you aren't a priority at the moment. Of course family will be above all. Hopefully sheshe is being truthful and isn't making up excuses. No matter how busy I can be I'll always find time for the one I'm interested and will plan for a set date.

Posted by Virgorean

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by Virgorean

Posted by Chuckcem
Well looks like I'm going to get together with her nextweekend. She's been very responsive, so that's a plus.

What will you guys be doing?

I figured it was her busyness. I'll rarely make future plans then back out with someone I'm interested in getting to know. Take it easy and have fun!

Edit: Just read she has Virgo Venus and Mars. You're in for a slow ride haha.

So looks like those plans are getting pushed back one week due to family. We'll see what happens next week.

Sounds like you aren't a priority at the moment. Of course family will be above all. Hopefully sheshe is being truthful and isn't making up excuses. No matter how busy I can be I'll always find time for the one I'm interested and will plan for a set date.

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I always assume I'm never a priority until the woman gets TRULY pushy. She also offered a firm date to reschedule, so I'll give her one more shot. After that I'll just let it drop.

Her reasoning was actually more detailed. She found out that one of her family members has a special event early the next day and her whole family is making a whole day of it. She said she'll have to be up early, which means she wouldn't be able to stay out late the night before with me.

We'll see though. She's mentioned this family member multiple times to me, so it's not that surprising.

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by Virgorean

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by Virgorean

Posted by Chuckcem
Well looks like I'm going to get together with her nextweekend. She's been very responsive, so that's a plus.

What will you guys be doing?

I figured it was her busyness. I'll rarely make future plans then back out with someone I'm interested in getting to know. Take it easy and have fun!

Edit: Just read she has Virgo Venus and Mars. You're in for a slow ride haha.

So looks like those plans are getting pushed back one week due to family. We'll see what happens next week.

Sounds like you aren't a priority at the moment. Of course family will be above all. Hopefully sheshe is being truthful and isn't making up excuses. No matter how busy I can be I'll always find time for the one I'm interested and will plan for a set date.

I always assume I'm never a priority until the woman gets TRULY pushy. She also offered a firm date to reschedule, so I'll give her one more shot. After that I'll just let it drop.

Her reasoning was actually more detailed. She found out that one of her family members has a special event early the next day and her whole family is making a whole day of it. She said she'll have to be up early, which means she wouldn't be able to stay out late the night before with me.

We'll see though. She's mentioned this family member multiple times to me, so it's not that surprising.

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Well sounds like not a flake after all 😉

-Firm date set ✔

-Detailed and legitimate explanation on family excuse ✔

-Giving you a heads up of potential family behavior so you aren't prepared for a shock factor if you come into contact with them ✔

I wish you good luck!

Posted by Virgorean

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by Virgorean

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by Virgorean

Posted by Chuckcem
Well looks like I'm going to get together with her nextweekend. She's been very responsive, so that's a plus.

What will you guys be doing?

I figured it was her busyness. I'll rarely make future plans then back out with someone I'm interested in getting to know. Take it easy and have fun!

Edit: Just read she has Virgo Venus and Mars. You're in for a slow ride haha.

So looks like those plans are getting pushed back one week due to family. We'll see what happens next week.

Sounds like you aren't a priority at the moment. Of course family will be above all. Hopefully sheshe is being truthful and isn't making up excuses. No matter how busy I can be I'll always find time for the one I'm interested and will plan for a set date.

I always assume I'm never a priority until the woman gets TRULY pushy. She also offered a firm date to reschedule, so I'll give her one more shot. After that I'll just let it drop.

Her reasoning was actually more detailed. She found out that one of her family members has a special event early the next day and her whole family is making a whole day of it. She said she'll have to be up early, which means she wouldn't be able to stay out late the night before with me.

We'll see though. She's mentioned this family member multiple times to me, so it's not that surprising.

Well sounds like not a flake after all 😉

-Firm date set ✔

-Detailed and legitimate explanation on family excuse ✔

-Giving you a heads up of potential family behavior so you aren't prepared for a shock factor if you come into contact with them ✔

I wish you good luck!

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Yeah it seemed legitimate. We'll see how it goes and thanks!