NinaD
@NinaD
6 Years
Comments: 0 Ā· Posts: 15 Ā· Topics: 3
Posted by NinaD
I've been seeing a Gemini man for about 6 months, and he says he sees himself married and with a lot of kids at some point in the future.
I was not set on having kids, but the way he talks about them makes me want to reconsider (his heart seems to be in it and he's generally a really sweeet and kind guy).
I'm also starting to catch real feelings, which is a big deal for me, having been in a couple of loveless long relationships before him.
He's 36, I'm almost 38. We have a lot in common and so far the relationship's been great. Had the "what are we" talk recently and decided we are exclusive.
He calls or texts me every day and we see eachother at least a couple of times a week + whole weekends sometimes, and we're already making more holiday plans than I can keep count of, including for the following years.
However, I also find him very unreliable when it comes to making plans. We'll talk loosely about doing something one weekend (or even on the evening of the same day), then one of his friends pops up unexpectedly to stay at his place, so he bails on me (presenting his excuses, but still...). He makes a million plans with several different people and all he seems to want is to run around experiencing everything. He definitely does not seem ready to settle down any time soon, it's more like he's afraid of missing out on life.
That's all fine for now, and I'm also quite independent and like to be engaged in many activities with my friends or on my own.
But I'm wondering, in a long-term relationship (living together/married), how does this play out?
Does he need to be completely sure he sees a future with you before he'll involve you in activities with his friends or family?
Does he get more consistent in making plans with you, or does he expect to go off and do his thing whenever he feels like it, leaving you to care for the kids?
Do his friends just show up at your place unannounced and if so, how do you handle it?
Did you have to set boundaries? How did he respond?
Most topics here seem to be about Geminis in early stages of dating, but I hope some of you are happy in a long-term relationship with a Gemini guy.
Would love to hear about it. Thanks!

Posted by Undine
The one I dated managed 10 years of marriage (15 years relationship) with a Leo. They fall apart when he was about 40 years old, soon after their two boys were born, one year apart, because they disagreed about everything relating to them.
He claimed that the first 10 years of their relationship were happy, though.
And this was a very stable Gemini, perfectionist, organized, Cap-like. Yours doesn't seem mature enough, sorry. Even the fact that he wants "many children", but you are 38, speaks against this relationship.

Posted by Basorexia
6 months imo is not enough to decide on someone's potential parents skills. Perhaps once you live together you'll have a better idea?

Posted by NinaDPosted by Undine
The one I dated managed 10 years of marriage (15 years relationship) with a Leo. They fall apart when he was about 40 years old, soon after their two boys were born, one year apart, because they disagreed about everything relating to them.
He claimed that the first 10 years of their relationship were happy, though.
And this was a very stable Gemini, perfectionist, organized, Cap-like. Yours doesn't seem mature enough, sorry. Even the fact that he wants "many children", but you are 38, speaks against this relationship.
Yes, that's what I also worry about. He seems to want a relationship with me now, but at some point he'll realize his dream of 3 kids is not possible with me, and will merrily say goodbye and go for someone younger.click to expand


Posted by IAteMyGrandmaInMonkeyTownPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by IAteMyGrandmaInMonkeyTown
Geminis are awesome parents.
In what way?
Many. Warm hearted, lovable, protective, gentle, they are kind of like kids, so they relate. Geminis actually like family.click to expand

Posted by IAteMyGrandmaInMonkeyTownPosted by MyStarsShine
ā¤ļø
You have Gemini patent/s?
No. I have bad parents Zodiacally speaking.click to expand

Posted by Black-Mamba
Op what are your placements?
I like what lady Neptune stated you should really ask him those questions she mentioned
it's better to communicate now than later
also Gemini I know like routine, they might be totally into friends/activities but they all have routines
Posted by Gemalit
Geminis arenāt dumb, he knows your natural clock is ticking, so Iām going to assume his dreams of 3 kids doesnāt necessarily mean 3 kids between you and him. Maybe talk to him ask if heās open to adoption. Iām a Gemini and Iām unsure on whether or not I want kids, but I know that when I speak of having kids Iām more on about adoption than my own. Sure, Iād have one of my own, but Iād also like to adopt one (or two) as well.
Geminis have a tendency to make all of these plans in our head without actually telling anyone about them, you need to sit him down and talk about it. If it turns out youāre to old to have kids (I doubt it, my mothers mum was forty five when she had my mum). Then freeze an egg or two. Or use his sperm with a donated egg. Thereās so many options, if heās not putting this in the way then neither should you. Us geminis are adaptable so if he thinks in the long run with you but he has all these plans? You bet heās already changing them to fit you in them.
Now as for his behaviour....yes he will keep being flaky, if itās something that upsets you, you need to sit him down and tell him. Geminis push things, until they canāt push no more. Our excuse is, if we didnāt know, itās not our fault. But if youāre honest about it, and tell him. Heāll probably change his ways. But... it is a Gemini trait to be flaky. I know my boss is a Gemini and he loves his wife a lot. And I mean a lot, Iāve never seen a man so whipped. But the last year or so sheās really reigned him in, sheās had enough of him flaking on her (sheās a Capricorn ) and I think theyāre about to start a family. So heās become very mature. For her, and their future.
But he still flakes š. After work when he just wants to see his friends heāll get wasted, but one time heād missed her phone calls, and I thought this 6ft, broad shouldered man was gonna cry because heād made his wife sad. And geminis donāt get emotional but for his wife he does. Okay what Iām tying to say is If heās committed to you, he may flake sometimes, but heāll try his hardest not to.
Posted by LittleStar_IIPosted by NinaDPosted by Gemalit
Geminis arenāt dumb, he knows your natural clock is ticking, so Iām going to assume his dreams of 3 kids doesnāt necessarily mean 3 kids between you and him. Maybe talk to him ask if heās open to adoption. Iām a Gemini and Iām unsure on whether or not I want kids, but I know that when I speak of having kids Iām more on about adoption than my own. Sure, Iād have one of my own, but Iād also like to adopt one (or two) as well.
Geminis have a tendency to make all of these plans in our head without actually telling anyone about them, you need to sit him down and talk about it. If it turns out youāre to old to have kids (I doubt it, my mothers mum was forty five when she had my mum). Then freeze an egg or two. Or use his sperm with a donated egg. Thereās so many options, if heās not putting this in the way then neither should you. Us geminis are adaptable so if he thinks in the long run with you but he has all these plans? You bet heās already changing them to fit you in them.
Now as for his behaviour....yes he will keep being flaky, if itās something that upsets you, you need to sit him down and tell him. Geminis push things, until they canāt push no more. Our excuse is, if we didnāt know, itās not our fault. But if youāre honest about it, and tell him. Heāll probably change his ways. But... it is a Gemini trait to be flaky. I know my boss is a Gemini and he loves his wife a lot. And I mean a lot, Iāve never seen a man so whipped. But the last year or so sheās really reigned him in, sheās had enough of him flaking on her (sheās a Capricorn ) and I think theyāre about to start a family. So heās become very mature. For her, and their future.
But he still flakes š. After work when he just wants to see his friends heāll get wasted, but one time heād missed her phone calls, and I thought this 6ft, broad shouldered man was gonna cry because heād made his wife sad. And geminis donāt get emotional but for his wife he does. Okay what Iām tying to say is If heās committed to you, he may flake sometimes, but heāll try his hardest not to.
Thank you for taking the time to write this, I really appreciate it. And it does confirm some things I had already thought of š
I did ask him if he would consider adoption and he said he would want the children to be his own. He's coming from a large and happy family and is into the traditional idea of carrying on the family line.
I, on the other hand, was raised by cold and controlling parents and am struggling with some potentially hereditary health issues, which is why I didn't really consider having kids of my own. But adoption was definitely on my list.
Funny you gave those examples about flakiness. Just a few days ago, he let me know (well in advance) that a friend would be visiting during a certain weekend, in a way excusing himself that he would not be able to make plans with me that weekend and asking if it's OK with me. So I can see he's trying to make me happy and be more organized. He seems like a genuinely nice person that would never hurt me intentionally. So it's much easier for me to not get upset when I know he doesn't mean to be unreliable, it's just his nature,
As for him adapting to fit me in his plans, sometimes I feel like we're on the same page, as I'm carefully considering how much I can compromise in order give him what he wants and still be happy, he might also be willing to do the same. Guess time will tell.
Kids is a huge dealbreaker.
Just because you want it to work doesnāt mean you can force a square peg into a round hole.
I think you should treat this relationship as a placeholder for him and not take it seriously or if that is too much for your boundaries then stop seeing him all together.
Why risk your health? And the possible health of your kids? Especially since you werenāt set on having kids. If youāve lived your whole life that way and change for him and then magically go through everything and there are no problems and then you end up hate having kids and resent them... thatās not a good scenario.click to expand
Posted by LadyNeptune
Heās making future plans with you which is a good sign he sees long term potential. As for the kids thing, if you think youād may want one or more in the future now is the perfect time to get your eggos frozen. Surrogates cost about the same as a new car so itās not out of reach financially if in the future youād go that route with him.
As far as reliability how is he when you spend weekends together? Does he help you around the house? Cook clean laundry that kinda thing? Help you walk the dog or do groceries runs? How are you as a team?
Itās early days still but you should begin to discover more about how you two work together. Also when he brings up the future kids talk ask him how he envisions it. Does he see you both working and splitting the household and kiddo duties? Or would he want you to stay home and play housewife.
Again early days here, next up you go from exclusive to bf/gf. Then move in and live together. Then get knocked up oops š¬ haha.
Iāve been with my Gemini 5ish years and heās been the more reliable one. He loves a good routine. Being quarantined together ahead of moving in together has been a good dry run. I will say they love their freedom. And I love mine. So itās nice to be with someone who isnāt jealous of my time.
If you give him space and freedom heāll bounce back 2xs as strong. Just roll with the changes when plans change.
For us, before covid, weād have one day per week that was ours and while weād usually see each other a few times per week there was security in knowing that thereās was that sacred time weād keep for each other no matter what else is happening in our lives.
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I was not set on having kids, but the way he talks about them makes me want to reconsider (his heart seems to be in it and he's generally a really sweeet and kind guy).
I'm also starting to catch real feelings, which is a big deal for me, having been in a couple of loveless long relationships before him.
He's 36, I'm almost 38. We have a lot in common and so far the relationship's been great. Had the "what are we" talk recently and decided we are exclusive.
He calls or texts me every day and we see eachother at least a couple of times a week + whole weekends sometimes, and we're already making more holiday plans than I can keep count of, including for the following years.
However, I also find him very unreliable when it comes to making plans. We'll talk loosely about doing something one weekend (or even on the evening of the same day), then one of his friends pops up unexpectedly to stay at his place, so he bails on me (presenting his excuses, but still...). He makes a million plans with several different people and all he seems to want is to run around experiencing everything. He definitely does not seem ready to settle down any time soon, it's more like he's afraid of missing out on life.
That's all fine for now, and I'm also quite independent and like to be engaged in many activities with my friends or on my own.
But I'm wondering, in a long-term relationship (living together/married), how does this play out?
Does he need to be completely sure he sees a future with you before he'll involve you in activities with his friends or family?
Does he get more consistent in making plans with you, or does he expect to go off and do his thing whenever he feels like it, leaving you to care for the kids?
Do his friends just show up at your place unannounced and if so, how do you handle it?
Did you have to set boundaries? How did he respond?
Most topics here seem to be about Geminis in early stages of dating, but I hope some of you are happy in a long-term relationship with a Gemini guy.
Would love to hear about it. Thanks!