Boyfriend's friend. .. (Page 2)

Well I was thinking if you had a breakup than its only natural that he vented/bitched to the best friend. After you two got back together the bestie could be still feeling salty towards you on behalf of your bf.

It was a pretty solid theory but oh wells...

You don't have to get on with your bf's friends. It's him you are in the relationship with not them. So they hate you. It's unfortunate but there you go.

It's disloyal of your bf though to still be mates with them.

It was a solid theory! ðŸ‘ðŸ‘

But yeah...no break ups. We actually don't even fight.

Posted by BlondeAmbition
You don't have to get on with your bf's friends. It's him you are in the relationship with not them. So they hate you. It's unfortunate but there you go.

It's disloyal of your bf though to still be mates with them.

Its only one guy that hates me.

I'm actually pretty sure that if they all hated me, then I'd get dumped. I thought aquas care about the opinions of their friends?

So I am just forever going to be excluded.

Posted by BlondeAmbition
It's disloyal of your bf though to still be mates with them.

I disagree. He should still be able to be friends with his friends. They have a history and who knows what they've been through together. He should be allowed and encouraged to have time with his friends, regardless whether they like her or not. Sure, it makes things more difficult, but a woman should NEVER come between friendships. If the romantic relationship develops, the friendship issue will work itself out over time.

Posted by Scorpgurl
So I am just forever going to be excluded.

Not necessarily. It may work itself out eventually. Be patient and encourage the friendship to continue.

Posted by GuardianAnu
I think I know a way you can at least get this guy to cool off and appreciate you a bit, just come up with a plan where you can get the two of them together and treat them both to something you know they both love doing together, especially his friend.... whether it be a movie or whatever, but pay for both of them or arrange something for both of them to do together without you there.

Be sure the friend knows it was your idea and he is there to hear it. Maybe use this upcoming easter as an excuse for a "gift" they can share/do together and that gives you time to come up with something or save up a bit of money for it. It doesn't have to be huge. I am sure you can think of something.

If he doesn't warm up to you after that, I don't know what else will.

This is the best advice you were given on this thread Op.

If it works all your problems with your bfs friend will fade away.

But worst case senerio, if he continues to be a little bitch to you, having made an effort will paint you in a better light to your boyfriend. You'll look like a reasonable adult looking to compromise while the friend looks like a small child throwing a tantrum. IF your boyfriend ends up having to choose between the two of you, he'll choose you.

Im trying teal hard not to get upset cause I can only see this from one side which is mine.

Who knows what "change" his friend might be seeing him as a result of being with me and finding it difficult to adapt to

Posted by Scorpgurl

Posted by BlondeAmbition
You don't have to get on with your bf's friends. It's him you are in the relationship with not them. So they hate you. It's unfortunate but there you go.

It's disloyal of your bf though to still be mates with them.

Its only one guy that hates me.

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Sorry about that. I didn't mean specifically it was a general observation. But it's true you don't have to get along with them. My mother doesn't know or care for my Dad's friends he does not know or care for hers. But he would never allow a mate to treat her like that or talk about her like that in his presence. She was forever moaning about him and her mother in law (my nana) to everyone though for a few years. (even me about my nana! ) But she grew out of it. She handles it better now.

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by GuardianAnu
I think I know a way you can at least get this guy to cool off and appreciate you a bit, just come up with a plan where you can get the two of them together and treat them both to something you know they both love doing together, especially his friend.... whether it be a movie or whatever, but pay for both of them or arrange something for both of them to do together without you there.

Be sure the friend knows it was your idea and he is there to hear it. Maybe use this upcoming easter as an excuse for a "gift" they can share/do together and that gives you time to come up with something or save up a bit of money for it. It doesn't have to be huge. I am sure you can think of something.

If he doesn't warm up to you after that, I don't know what else will.

This is the best advice you were given on this thread Op.

If it works all your problems with your bfs friend will fade away.

But worst case senerio, if he continues to be a little bitch to you, having made an effort will paint you in a better light to your boyfriend. You'll look like a reasonable adult looking to compromise while the friend looks like a small child throwing a tantrum. IF your boyfriend ends up having to choose between the two of you, he'll choose you.

click to expand

Oh im nothing but nice about his friend. I ask about him, tell my boyfriend to tell him I said hi....he should be seeing who is the reasonable one right now. I haven't once bad mouthed this guy, even when ive had to ask my boyfriend if he hates me.

Posted by Scorpgurl
Im trying teal hard not to get upset cause I can only see this from one side which is mine.

Who knows what "change" his friend might be seeing him as a result of being with me and finding it difficult to adapt to

Sometimes you must take a bemused approach to life.

Posted by Scorpgurl

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by GuardianAnu
I think I know a way you can at least get this guy to cool off and appreciate you a bit, just come up with a plan where you can get the two of them together and treat them both to something you know they both love doing together, especially his friend.... whether it be a movie or whatever, but pay for both of them or arrange something for both of them to do together without you there.

Be sure the friend knows it was your idea and he is there to hear it. Maybe use this upcoming easter as an excuse for a "gift" they can share/do together and that gives you time to come up with something or save up a bit of money for it. It doesn't have to be huge. I am sure you can think of something.

If he doesn't warm up to you after that, I don't know what else will.

This is the best advice you were given on this thread Op.

If it works all your problems with your bfs friend will fade away.

But worst case senerio, if he continues to be a little bitch to you, having made an effort will paint you in a better light to your boyfriend. You'll look like a reasonable adult looking to compromise while the friend looks like a small child throwing a tantrum. IF your boyfriend ends up having to choose between the two of you, he'll choose you.

Oh im nothing but nice about his friend. I ask about him, tell my boyfriend to tell him I said hi....he should be seeing who is the reasonable one right now. I haven't once bad mouthed this guy, even when ive had to ask my boyfriend if he hates me.

click to expand

I would be offended if a bf allowed a friend to talk like that about me to him and was still his friend. Just don't hang around with the friend. You have your own mates etc. Be polite and cordial when you must see him but stand your ground. Avoid him as much as you can. Don't do the tell him I said hi thing. It encourages contact.

Easy to avoid. My boyfriend doesn't exactly put me near him

Posted by Scorpgurl
Alright I couldn't think of a better way to title this thread lol

I am a little concerned about my boyfriend's best friend. I'm not sure if this guy likes/wants me around. They both game together alot and I am totally fine with this. I knew my boyfriend had this little hobby with his friend....hell I even bought a specific gamers keyboard for my man for xmas to enhance the whole gaming thing.

He said his friend is jealous that he got that for xmas and although my man seems "happy" he's jealous....it unsettles me a little.

On valentines day my boyfriend and I were spending time together when his friend called him. They spoke for a little while then I heard his friend ask him to go over to his place and play games. My boyfriend said he was with me for the day/night and I heard his friend yell "FUCK HER!" ...my boyfriend replied "no, fuck off" ...and now its got me really thinking if this guy actually hates me.

My boyfriend says he doesn't, that he doesn't know me well enough to hate me but that doesn't comfort me at all. I am not interfering at all in their friendship. I let them play their games/do guy stuff...but I feel there is a hostility.

His friend has a girlfriend, so its not like hes on his own and wants his friend around. He's a leo if that helps.

Should I just let this go or express my concern to my boyfriend about this?

What you don't want to do is to stir shit if you are dating an Aqua like everyone says. Flo is not joking when she says we're allergic to Drama.

'For all the times you said you hated my friends, The only problem was with you and not them'. Don't be that chick that harps on it. Your Aqua is stuck between a rock and a hard place that is only destined to get worse if his BFF and GF don't get along. So be part of the solution. Take that advice about promoting their "bro"ness, but if it doesn't work, then just let the Aqua know you gave it your best shot, but the BFF wont play ball.

And that in no way does it affect your love for him because you aren't going to be an alpha bitch and make him pick.

Posted by BlondeAmbition

Posted by Scorpgurl

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by GuardianAnu
I think I know a way you can at least get this guy to cool off and appreciate you a bit, just come up with a plan where you can get the two of them together and treat them both to something you know they both love doing together, especially his friend.... whether it be a movie or whatever, but pay for both of them or arrange something for both of them to do together without you there.

Be sure the friend knows it was your idea and he is there to hear it. Maybe use this upcoming easter as an excuse for a "gift" they can share/do together and that gives you time to come up with something or save up a bit of money for it. It doesn't have to be huge. I am sure you can think of something.

If he doesn't warm up to you after that, I don't know what else will.

This is the best advice you were given on this thread Op.

If it works all your problems with your bfs friend will fade away.

But worst case senerio, if he continues to be a little bitch to you, having made an effort will paint you in a better light to your boyfriend. You'll look like a reasonable adult looking to compromise while the friend looks like a small child throwing a tantrum. IF your boyfriend ends up having to choose between the two of you, he'll choose you.

Oh im nothing but nice about his friend. I ask about him, tell my boyfriend to tell him I said hi....he should be seeing who is the reasonable one right now. I haven't once bad mouthed this guy, even when ive had to ask my boyfriend if he hates me.

I would be offended if a bf allowed a friend to talk like that about me to him and was still his friend. Just don't hang around with the friend. You have your own mates etc. Be polite and cordial when you must see him but stand your ground. Avoid him as much as you can. Don't do the tell him I said hi thing. It encourages contact.

click to expand

yup. i'd be PISSED off myself.


no one has been really mean to me, all his friends (the few he has, ie, childhood buddy and a couple of best friends have been so nice and so cordial to me, that they even treat my husband and ME along and also send me cards and wishes every year!!) i like my husband's friends, they are so kind to me!!!
it makes me feel WELCOMED.

oh i mean treat me to dinners with me and my husband and send cards and well wishes yearly.

they show RESPECT. i love that!!

Edit but i also am very warm and respectful to them, and make dinner for them, and treat them like they are family. you know?

if something happens in their family, we are there as support too.

Posted by Scorpgurl
Alright I couldn't think of a better way to title this thread lol

I am a little concerned about my boyfriend's best friend. I'm not sure if this guy likes/wants me around. They both game together alot and I am totally fine with this. I knew my boyfriend had this little hobby with his friend....hell I even bought a specific gamers keyboard for my man for xmas to enhance the whole gaming thing.

He said his friend is jealous that he got that for xmas and although my man seems "happy" he's jealous....it unsettles me a little.

On valentines day my boyfriend and I were spending time together when his friend called him. They spoke for a little while then I heard his friend ask him to go over to his place and play games. My boyfriend said he was with me for the day/night and I heard his friend yell "FUCK HER!" ...my boyfriend replied "no, fuck off" ...and now its got me really thinking if this guy actually hates me.

My boyfriend says he doesn't, that he doesn't know me well enough to hate me but that doesn't comfort me at all. I am not interfering at all in their friendship. I let them play their games/do guy stuff...but I feel there is a hostility.

His friend has a girlfriend, so its not like hes on his own and wants his friend around. He's a leo if that helps.

Should I just let this go or express my concern to my boyfriend about this?

Rule no 1: always - always - be honest and open with your partner. Your happiness comes first - always.

What matters is how u tell him. But first of all u need to realize by not being honest with him u'll help his weird friend putting a damn rift between u two. After telling him how u feel its up to him to meet your demands about your happiness. If he can't then u know how serious he is about u.

With an aqua u need to have guts. I cant respect anyone who cant stand up for themself. Tell him how it is. If u play all nice aka fake although his friend is obviously a rude brat then he wont respect u either. U should be concerned why he doesnt defend u and your honor like u deserve. Jezz.... I had a gamer - ONCE - never again. Dumb ass whiny mommas boy with no goals and a badly paid job. Always in his damn room gaming. I dont have time for little boys and u shouldnt either

Also, how do you know he hasn't talked to his friend about it, if you don't ask?

Posted by AquaNextDoor
With an aqua u need to have guts. I cant respect anyone who cant stand up for themself. Tell him how it is. If u play all nice aka fake although his friend is obviously a rude brat then he wont respect u either. U should be concerned why he doesnt defend u and your honor like u deserve. Jezz.... I had a gamer - ONCE - never again. Dumb ass whiny mommas boy with no goals and a badly paid job. Always in his damn room gaming. I dont have time for little boys and u shouldnt either

Im not playing fake nice. I was actually nice and let things slide cause my boyfriend had already told me "far from it right" when I asked if he didn't like me. It was valentines day recently when I heard what he said on the phone (the "fuck her" comment) That startled me.



That is what has made me start thinking of the problem more. So far this friend hasnt stopped my boyfriend from seeing me. Infact hes been seeing more of me and next week, we'll be spending a whole week together so maybe he has spoken to the friend already or is simply not letting him get in the way of us.

Where is he not defending me? Lol

I mean...he did tell him to "fuck off" when he made that comment. He does defend me with anyone else who gives me shit. I can defend myself but yeah..

I plan on bringing it up anyway. I never said I wasn't going to. I just don't want yo give him the impression im trying to stop him from being friends with this guy.

No, I am not going to make him "chose"...that is just disgusting and I don't know how anyone can make someone do that. I have had that happen to me begore and I felt nothing but resentment for the person who put me in that position.

I Have to tell him that although I know his friend is like this, with me there are limits.

Yeh I guess you will be fine and if that friend doesn’t stop then u’ll have to live with that or walk away.
A “fuck off” is not defending in my opinion. But each their own. Defending would be talking to his friend to stay in line and behave in a proper manner. Comments like that one on Christmas (?) or new years eve are a no go + that on the phone. Heeeeell no!!!

To be perfectly honest here I just thought its the typical leo attitude. I find fire signs very abrupt and alot of the times they mean no harm....even when they came come across cruel as hell

Posted by Scorpgurl
Where is he not defending me? Lol

I mean...he did tell him to "fuck off" when he made that comment. He does defend me with anyone else who gives me shit. I can defend myself but yeah..

I plan on bringing it up anyway. I never said I wasn't going to. I just don't want yo give him the impression im trying to stop him from being friends with this guy.

No, I am not going to make him "chose"...that is just disgusting and I don't know how anyone can make someone do that. I have had that happen to me begore and I felt nothing but resentment for the person who put me in that position.

I Have to tell him that although I know his friend is like this, with me there are limits.

yeah i dont do that either. your man has to be the one to make the decision himself

you can't control him or his decisions. it's up to him.



EDIT

hm but you're annoyed with this, which is why you made a topic.

what are you gonna do then?

what is your solution?

Im going to stay at his place tomorrow night. Somehow I will bring it up with him then.

Posted by Scorpgurl
Im going to stay at his place tomorrow night. Somehow I will bring it up with him then.

good luck!!

let us know what he says and what he does about his friend.

Will do.

I'm kind of hoping that I am not being overly sensitive re the issue cause although his friend said that line on xmas day, he was still friendly and such (giving me chocolate when I declined it lol)

Posted by Scorpgurl
Will do.

I'm kind of hoping that I am not being overly sensitive re the issue cause although his friend said that line on xmas day, he was still friendly and such (giving me chocolate when I declined it lol)

lol

sounds like he's on his way to getting "TAMED" 😛 😄

*crosses fingers for you*

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by Scorpgurl
Will do.

I'm kind of hoping that I am not being overly sensitive re the issue cause although his friend said that line on xmas day, he was still friendly and such (giving me chocolate when I declined it lol)

lol

sounds like he's on his way to getting "TAMED" 😛 😄

*crosses fingers for you*

click to expand

Hahaha! What do you mean be tamed?