@Scorpgurl
10 Years
Boyfriend's friend. ..
Understanding Tensions with Your Boyfriend's Friend
It is common to feel uneasy if you suspect hostility from your partner's friend. The aggressive language and jealousy signals may indicate underlying issues. Communicate openly with your boyfriend about your feelings and concerns to clarify boundaries and address any tensions. Trust and honest dialogue are key to resolving doubts about their friendship.
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Not to mention every time I post a pic of my man anx I on facebook, this friend comments something extremely obnoxious/rude
Me personally. I would probably check his friend in person or on FB about the obnoxious comments under my post. But that is all.
I wouldn't care about the other stuff. You're man put him in his place as needed when it mattered.
As long as he's good to you his best friend can stay hating or get used to you being around.
Okay, I'll play the devils advocate...
He could've meant it in a joking way, like fuck girlfriends let's make this level/boss our bitch.
Have you met this dude face to face?
Personally I'd be flattered if my bf was proud that a gift I got him made his friends jealous because it would mean a) he bragged about it to all his friends and b) they all wished their gf got them something as baller and know how amazing I am to him
Has the friend reacted this way to other girls your guy has had relationships with? Sounds like he wants to be #1 in your boyfriend's life and wants his attention when he asks for it. He may have lost out on opportunities to hang with your guy because you're there and he may think your gifts are something that further puts you in your guy's favor (which is bad for him if he wants to be the most important person to him). Not that you're the issue...because you're not. This guy needs to realize that he doesn't own people and focus his attention on other things...like his own girlfriend.
Could also be that he's so utterly miserable that he feels the need to be a dick to you.
If you think it's a big issue and your happiness is suffering because of it, then it might be good to bring up. However, if he's known the guy longer than you, it might offend him or might make him feel as though you want him to let go of someone for you.
My bf said he's "antisocial" ...but he only said this terms of crowds. He doesn't like a crowd of people.
My man's dad said his friend has a "heart of gold" which utterly confuses me.
When I went to his house on xmas day with my boyfriend, we were all sitting at the table eating when his friend said loud and clear so everyone heard "normally after you all leave (insert boyfriends name here) and I stay and play video games but he can't do that now that he's got a girlfriend! !!"
I was so embarrassed. Sounded to me like he's pissed my boyfriend has a woman around...unless im misinterpreting his tone as hostility.
Posted by Scorpgurl
Alright I couldn't think of a better way to title this thread lolI am a little concerned about my boyfriend's best friend. I'm not sure if this guy likes/wants me around. They both game together alot and I am totally fine with this. I knew my boyfriend had this little hobby with his friend....hell I even bought a specific gamers keyboard for my man for xmas to enhance the whole gaming thing.
He said his friend is jealous that he got that for xmas and although my man seems "happy" he's jealous....it unsettles me a little.
On valentines day my boyfriend and I were spending time together when his friend called him. They spoke for a little while then I heard his friend ask him to go over to his place and play games. My boyfriend said he was with me for the day/night and I heard his friend yell "FUCK HER!" ...my boyfriend replied "no, fuck off" ...and now its got me really thinking if this guy actually hates me.
My boyfriend says he doesn't, that he doesn't know me well enough to hate me but that doesn't comfort me at all. I am not interfering at all in their friendship. I let them play their games/do guy stuff...but I feel there is a hostility.
His friend has a girlfriend, so its not like hes on his own and wants his friend around. He's a leo if that helps.
Should I just let this go or express my concern to my boyfriend about this?
Oh man, jealous friend (to him) and secret admirer (to you). Keep doing what you're doing. Your guy sounds like the type that will put his friend in place. Your guy probably already knows how his friend can get, hence the "no, fuck off comment". Sounds like a keeper!
If he keeps making comments like that and can't come to terms with the situation, then it'll likely to be his own undoing. That is, if your guy is the type to step up and defend you.
Posted by Scorpgurl
Alright I couldn't think of a better way to title this thread lolI am a little concerned about my boyfriend's best friend. I'm not sure if this guy likes/wants me around. They both game together alot and I am totally fine with this. I knew my boyfriend had this little hobby with his friend....hell I even bought a specific gamers keyboard for my man for xmas to enhance the whole gaming thing.
He said his friend is jealous that he got that for xmas and although my man seems "happy" he's jealous....it unsettles me a little.
On valentines day my boyfriend and I were spending time together when his friend called him. They spoke for a little while then I heard his friend ask him to go over to his place and play games. My boyfriend said he was with me for the day/night and I heard his friend yell "FUCK HER!" ...my boyfriend replied "no, fuck off" ...and now its got me really thinking if this guy actually hates me.
My boyfriend says he doesn't, that he doesn't know me well enough to hate me but that doesn't comfort me at all. I am not interfering at all in their friendship. I let them play their games/do guy stuff...but I feel there is a hostility.
His friend has a girlfriend, so its not like hes on his own and wants his friend around. He's a leo if that helps.
Should I just let this go or express my concern to my boyfriend about this?
Oh man, jealous friend (to him) and secret admirer (to you). Keep doing what you're doing. Your guy sounds like the type that will put his friend in place. Your guy probably already knows how his friend can get, hence the "no, fuck off comment". Sounds like a keeper!
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Secret admirer? To me? That's the cause for his rudeness? Lolol
Shouldn't he realize that me not acting like a drama queen over their gaming is a good thing? My boyfriend told me a while ago that his friends girlfriend didnt always like it and they had even broke up over it before (they are back together now)
But obviously my boyfriend knows other sides to his friend. Back when it became known my man and I were together, his friend said we could all go on "double dates"...but it was my boyfriend who didn't want this.
This was way before xmas so he wasn't acting the way he is now with me...which is the rudness I explained.
Posted by Scorpgurl
Alright I couldn't think of a better way to title this thread lolI am a little concerned about my boyfriend's best friend. I'm not sure if this guy likes/wants me around. They both game together alot and I am totally fine with this. I knew my boyfriend had this little hobby with his friend....hell I even bought a specific gamers keyboard for my man for xmas to enhance the whole gaming thing.
He said his friend is jealous that he got that for xmas and although my man seems "happy" he's jealous....it unsettles me a little.
On valentines day my boyfriend and I were spending time together when his friend called him. They spoke for a little while then I heard his friend ask him to go over to his place and play games. My boyfriend said he was with me for the day/night and I heard his friend yell "FUCK HER!" ...my boyfriend replied "no, fuck off" ...and now its got me really thinking if this guy actually hates me.
My boyfriend says he doesn't, that he doesn't know me well enough to hate me but that doesn't comfort me at all. I am not interfering at all in their friendship. I let them play their games/do guy stuff...but I feel there is a hostility.
His friend has a girlfriend, so its not like hes on his own and wants his friend around. He's a leo if that helps.
Should I just let this go or express my concern to my boyfriend about this?
Oh man, jealous friend (to him) and secret admirer (to you). Keep doing what you're doing. Your guy sounds like the type that will put his friend in place. Your guy probably already knows how his friend can get, hence the "no, fuck off comment". Sounds like a keeper!
click to expand
This.
Let your bf handle it... seriously.
Sounds like maybe the friend is stuck in a "bros before hoes" mindset. Probably your guy hasn't had a serious gf before (or recently)? My guess is it's jealousy, pure and simple.
Don't get involved, let the two of them duke it out. Because it WILL happen if this friend doesn't get the hint and you don't want to be anywhere that makes ot even look like you had anything to do with it.
Posted by Scorpgurl
Alright I couldn't think of a better way to title this thread lolI am a little concerned about my boyfriend's best friend. I'm not sure if this guy likes/wants me around. They both game together alot and I am totally fine with this. I knew my boyfriend had this little hobby with his friend....hell I even bought a specific gamers keyboard for my man for xmas to enhance the whole gaming thing.
He said his friend is jealous that he got that for xmas and although my man seems "happy" he's jealous....it unsettles me a little.
On valentines day my boyfriend and I were spending time together when his friend called him. They spoke for a little while then I heard his friend asAgain, kee to go over to his place and play games. My boyfriend said he was with me for the day/night and I heard his friend yell "FUCK HER!" ...my boyfriend replied "no, fuck off" ...and now its got me really thinking if this guy actually hates me.
My boyfriend says he doesn't, that he doesn't know me well enough to hate me but that doesn't comfort me at all. I am not interfering at all in their friendship. I let them play their games/do guy stuff...but I feel there is a hostility.
His friend has a girlfriend, so its not like hes on his own and wants his friend around. He's a leo if that helps.
Should I just let this go or express my concern to my boyfriend about this?
Oh man, jealous friend (to him) and secret admirer (to you). Keep doing what you're doing. Your guy sounds like the type that will put his friend in place. Your guy probably already knows how his friend can get, hence the "no, fuck off comment". Sounds like a keeper!
Secret admirer? To me? That's the cause for his rudeness? Lolol
Shouldn't he realize that me not acting like a drama queen over their gaming is a good thing? My boyfriend told me a while ago that his friends girlfriend didnt always like it and they had even broke up over it before (they are back together now)
But obviously my boyfriend knows other sides to his friend. Back when it became known my man and I were together, his friend said we could all go on "double dates"...but it was my boyfriend who didn't want this.
This was way before xmas so he wasn't acting the way he is now with me...which is the rudness I explained.
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Case and point! His gf didn't accept him the the way you accept you guy. Again, keep doing what you're doing. Point blank, your bfs friend is jealous. Pay it no mind. I applaud you!
Oh im not getting involved. No way. I have seen these type of situations escalate. Its just a little hard to over look it when obviously I want to be able to get along with him cause he is a part of my boyfriends life and I respect that....but there is an elephant in the room you know? Lol
Posted by sultrykitty
Sounds like maybe the friend is stuck in a "bros before hoes" mindset. Probably your guy hasn't had a serious gf before (or recently)? My guess is it's jealousy, pure and simple.Don't get involved, let the two of them duke it out. Because it WILL happen if this friend doesn't get the hint and you don't want to be anywhere that makes ot even look like you had anything to do with it.
I am the first girl my man has had around for a while...so I think this friend of his had got use to having my boyfriends company/attention when HE wanted it.
Posted by sultrykitty
Sounds like maybe the friend is stuck in a "bros before hoes" mindset. Probably your guy hasn't had a serious gf before (or recently)? My guess is it's jealousy, pure and simple.Don't get involved, let the two of them duke it out. Because it WILL happen if this friend doesn't get the hint and you don't want to be anywhere that makes ot even look like you had anything to do with it.
I am the first girl my man has had around for a while...so I think this friend of his had got use to having my boyfriends company/attention when HE wanted it.
click to expand
Leo problems, yes.
Leo problems yes but must he be rude and make me uncomfortable with it like he did on xmas day?
My bf, myself, his friend and his friends girlfriend were all suppose to go to the movies together but my man said they couldn't get seats with us, so we just went separately.
I wondered if this was true or if my boyfriend just didnt want us all going together..
I think I know a way you can at least get this guy to cool off and appreciate you a bit, just come up with a plan where you can get the two of them together and treat them both to something you know they both love doing together, especially his friend.... whether it be a movie or whatever, but pay for both of them or arrange something for both of them to do together without you there.
Be sure the friend knows it was your idea and he is there to hear it. Maybe use this upcoming easter as an excuse for a "gift" they can share/do together and that gives you time to come up with something or save up a bit of money for it. It doesn't have to be huge. I am sure you can think of something.
If he doesn't warm up to you after that, I don't know what else will.
Just remember he is threatened by you. Try to empathize with him and don't take it personally. He would be like that no matter who your boyfriend was dating, it's a jealousy issue. Yes, even friends can have that problem.
Thats an idea but do I need to do something for this guy at all? I mean, I am not "hogging" my boyfriend. I am basically "sharing" him. That is SOMETHING hahaha!
Does he need to feel included or something? Initally the movie voucher I got for my boyfriend WAS for him and his friend. I had no idea it was both couples (which didn't happen anyway. He went with his girl, my man came with me)
Obviously there is an angle im not seeing. Maybe my boyfriend is favouring seeing me over his friend and his friend is feeling it.
Posted by Scorpgurl
Thats an idea but do I need to do something for this guy at all? I mean, I am not "hogging" my boyfriend. I am basically "sharing" him. That is SOMETHING hahaha!Does he need to feel included or something? Initally the movie voucher I got for my boyfriend WAS for him and his friend. I had no idea it was both couples (which didn't happen anyway. He went with his girl, my man came with me)
Obviously there is an angle im not seeing. Maybe my boyfriend is favouring seeing me over his friend and his friend is feeling it.
I know I am terribly jealous. It can be a problem. I've learned to not make it public or known, but it's there. He needs to learn how to deal with it appropriately. You can help, but it's really on him. Your bf can probably diffuse it much better than you. But we Leos will soften up if the object of our jealousy is genuinely interested in us and does little things to (genuinely) stroke our egos or gives us a reason to back off.
I don't know this guy so I can't say what will do it for him. Maybe you can talk about it with your bf and come up with a way for you two to get along, if that's what you really want. The Leo/Aqua connection is deep and Scorpio/Leo can be a power struggle. I would either leave it up to your Aqua to handle it or ask him if there's anything you can do to make it easier for Leo.
Naw, you don't have to do something for him. I am surprised he has a girlfriend and still acts this way. Perhaps his girlfriend doesn't pay enough attention to him or something? This is just bizarre.
I do think your bf should be standing up for you more, that is totally not up to you and good on you for not stirring up more problems by reacting. I have had my share of exes friends who would make me less than comfortable but this is just a whole other level of bullshit you don't need to deal with. I don't get this guy's problem either.
Seriously though, having the nerve to call your boyfriend to come over and getting mad when he wouldn't on Valentines Day—? You just don't do that. I guess his girlfriend really snubbed him or something. wtf
Posted by sultrykitty
Sounds like maybe the friend is stuck in a "bros before hoes" mindset. Probably your guy hasn't had a serious gf before (or recently)? My guess is it's jealousy, pure and simple.Don't get involved, let the two of them duke it out. Because it WILL happen if this friend doesn't get the hint and you don't want to be anywhere that makes ot even look like you had anything to do with it.
Exactly. HIs friend is actually immature.
Why wouldn't he be happy for his "bro" and try to find the same for himself.
God....I always have to deal with a leo that does crap like this.
Im not doing anything to cause a power struggle. I hardly know the guy myself.
Posted by Scorpgurl
Alright I couldn't think of a better way to title this thread lolI am a little concerned about my boyfriend's best friend. I'm not sure if this guy likes/wants me around. They both game together alot and I am totally fine with this. I knew my boyfriend had this little hobby with his friend....hell I even bought a specific gamers keyboard for my man for xmas to enhance the whole gaming thing.
He said his friend is jealous that he got that for xmas and although my man seems "happy" he's jealous....it unsettles me a little.
On valentines day my boyfriend and I were spending time together when his friend called him. They spoke for a little while then I heard his friend ask him to go over to his place and play games. My boyfriend said he was with me for the day/night and I heard his friend yell "FUCK HER!" ...my boyfriend replied "no, fuck off" ...and now its got me really thinking if this guy actually hates me.
My boyfriend says he doesn't, that he doesn't know me well enough to hate me but that doesn't comfort me at all. I am not interfering at all in their friendship. I let them play their games/do guy stuff...but I feel there is a hostility.
His friend has a girlfriend, so its not like hes on his own and wants his friend around. He's a leo if that helps.
Should I just let this go or express my concern to my boyfriend about this?
that is STRANGE....what kind of man has that KIND of friend?? 😕 i mean....taking liberties by telling him to "FUCK HER""?? He sounds like a whiny little brother who didnt get attention from the older brother and is resentful of his older brother's relationship with the new woman.
wtf!!
EDIT my man would never have that kind of "friend" where the friend is DISRESPECTFUL about the woman he chose. He would NEVER do that to his buddie's girlfriends or wives either. Just disrespectful.
I plan to..its just figuring out how to do it. I don't want him thinking ive got a problem with him being friends with him or my boyfriend thinking I am trying to end the friendship.
I just don't, I mean REALLY don't want a situation to go down where I blow up and spit nasty shit out of my mouth in defense towards his friend. He's already told me his friend is anti social...which has a negative tone to it.
I swear to god...one day when my man was leaving work with his friend, he had to tell him to say goodbye to me.
Just to add onto that last part, later on that night when my boyfriend came to my place...I asked him what was wrong with his friend. He replied "oh hes always like that"
This sounds to me like my boyfriend just "takes" his moods/crap.
Nope. His friend is a leo
Posted by Scorpgurl
Just to add onto that last part, later on that night when my boyfriend came to my place...I asked him what was wrong with his friend. He replied "oh hes always like that"This sounds to me like my boyfriend just "takes" his moods/crap.
it does.
O_O
like, no offense, but it sounds like his guy friend is a boyfriend.
EDIT and you're the 3rd wheel.
Posted by Scorpgurl
Just to add onto that last part, later on that night when my boyfriend came to my place...I asked him what was wrong with his friend. He replied "oh hes always like that"This sounds to me like my boyfriend just "takes" his moods/crap.
it does.
O_Olike, no offense, but it sounds like his guy friend is a boyfriend.
EDIT and you're the 3rd wheel.
click to expand
Trust me, people joke about this. Calling their gaming nights "dates" and everything.
Posted by Scorpgurl
Just to add onto that last part, later on that night when my boyfriend came to my place...I asked him what was wrong with his friend. He replied "oh hes always like that"This sounds to me like my boyfriend just "takes" his moods/crap.
it does.
O_Olike, no offense, but it sounds like his guy friend is a boyfriend.
EDIT and you're the 3rd wheel.
Trust me, people joke about this. Calling their gaming nights "dates" and everything.
click to expand
your guy is very passive and caters to him it sounds.
and the leo is DOMINANT over him. to even do that shit.
he got OWNED.
Well great
My boyfriend is leo influenced so shouldn't he be able to stand up to him?
Posted by Scorpgurl
Well greatMy boyfriend is leo influenced so shouldn't he be able to stand up to him?
lol it doesn't sound like it.
what's your bf's chart look like, give us an image of what he's like.
Aqua sun
Leo moon
Mars aries
Mercury aqua
Venus aries
Thats the mains anyway.
One of my friends (who is a leo herself) thinks his friend is jealous over my boyfriends overall success and she means in petty ways. Jealous that hes got a girlfriend whom he thinks is "hot" while he has an "average" looking girl..jealous that im accepting or whatever.
She knows they are ridiculous reasons but apparently its what "immature leos" can be pissed about.
I'm hoping shes wrong. He should be happy for my boyfriend cause he went so long not having luck with girls. They even one year joked about this fact for xmas by buying him a box of condoms (cause he wasn't having sex)
Posted by Scorpgurl
Aqua sun
Leo moon
Mars aries
Mercury aqua
Venus ariesThats the mains anyway.
One of my friends (who is a leo herself) thinks his friend is jealous over my boyfriends overall success and she means in petty ways. Jealous that hes got a girlfriend whom he thinks is "hot" while he has an "average" looking girl..jealous that im accepting or whatever.
She knows they are ridiculous reasons but apparently its what "immature leos" can be pissed about.
I'm hoping shes wrong. He should be happy for my boyfriend cause he went so long not having luck with girls. They even one year joked about this fact for xmas by buying him a box of condoms (cause he wasn't having sex)
sounds very immature to be honest.
like they want what they cant have.
Who wants what they can't have?
Posted by Scorpgurl
Who wants what they can't have?
this part you wrote
thinks his friend is jealous over my boyfriends overall success and she means in petty ways. Jealous that hes got a girlfriend whom he thinks is "hot" while he has an "average" looking girl..jealous that im accepting or whatever.
She knows they are ridiculous reasons but apparently its what "immature leos" can be pissed about.
EDIT
anyway what are you gonna do about it??
your bf is being owned by the leo friend.
in the long term, long run that is going to grate on your relationship and you will never be happy.
unless you ACCEPT that.
but it sounds like you can't.
I think the thing thats worrying me is this "catering" to him. Do I have protection or do I have to protect myself?
I'm not doing any nasty talk about his friend to him. Hell...ive even asked my boyfriend to tell his friend said "hi"...but I guess it doesn't work
if his woman isn't giving him Sex on Valentine's day and gets shitty that you have your man to yourself pay him no mind. He's not even worth the energy you give him. Leo's are notorious for drawing negative energy to themselves
I did wonder why he wasnt doing anything with his woman for valentines day. They LIVE TOGETHER for god sakes.
Posted by Scorpgurl
I did wonder why he wasnt doing anything with his woman for valentines day. They LIVE TOGETHER for god sakes.
you mean the leo??
he has a girlfriend?
hm you know, maybe they are secretly bisexual or gay?
have you ever considered that?
could you not tell yourself?? 😕
Posted by Flo
What a freak of nature Lol 😆OP, you gotta confront your man about this. Pull him aside and seriously talk to him.
And yes, talk to your bf about this.
It seems like every dude has that one attached creepy friend lol
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Hahahahaha! !! This is actually true!
I also want to know why my boyfriend won't tell me hes got a problem with me. I can handle hearing that someone hates me.
Posted by GuardianAnu
I think I know a way you can at least get this guy to cool off and appreciate you a bit, just come up with a plan where you can get the two of them together and treat them both to something you know they both love doing together, especially his friend.... whether it be a movie or whatever, but pay for both of them or arrange something for both of them to do together without you there.Be sure the friend knows it was your idea and he is there to hear it. Maybe use this upcoming easter as an excuse for a "gift" they can share/do together and that gives you time to come up with something or save up a bit of money for it. It doesn't have to be huge. I am sure you can think of something.
If he doesn't warm up to you after that, I don't know what else will.
This is good advice.
@Flo...jeez that sounds very pisces though. Pisces are passive and let people get away with murder. My mum and both my brothers are pisces so I am surrounded.
Any thoughts as to why my boyfriend isn't actually telling me that his friend has an issue with me?
I bet this "friend" pays me right the fuck out to him.
How would it effect the relationship?
I'm basically being told what I already know. I don't understand how his friends attitude doesn't do his head in.
@Scorpgurl Did you ever go on a break or breakup with your boyfriend? Or did you have a tumultuous courtship?? I have a theory...
Nope. We haven't. What is your theory?
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Alright I couldn't think of a better way to title this thread lol
I am a little concerned about my boyfriend's best friend. I'm not sure if this guy likes/wants me around. They both game together alot and I am totally fine with this. I knew my boyfriend had this little hobby with his friend....hell I even bought a specific gamers keyboard for my man for xmas to enhance the whole gaming thing.
He said his friend is jealous that he got that for xmas and although my man seems "happy" he's jealous....it unsettles me a little.
On valentines day my boyfriend and I were spending time together when his friend called him. They spoke for a little while then I heard his friend ask him to go over to his place and play games. My boyfriend said he was with me for the day/night and I heard his friend yell "FUCK HER!" ...my boyfriend replied "no, fuck off" ...and now its got me really thinking if this guy actually hates me.
My boyfriend says he doesn't, that he doesn't know me well enough to hate me but that doesn't comfort me at all. I am not interfering at all in their friendship. I let them play their games/do guy stuff...but I feel there is a hostility.
His friend has a girlfriend, so its not like hes on his own and wants his friend around. He's a leo if that helps.
Should I just let this go or express my concern to my boyfriend about this?