Deciphering AquaMan's Motives - Help! (Page 2)

HP74,

I totally agree with Primegen about stop analyzing the guy. Let it be otherwise you will drive him away. I'm guilty too of the analyzing part of the guy in my case also. I would analyze everything he said trying to think of why he said what he said or did what he did. I drove myself crazy until one day I didn't give a damn anymore. Then all of sudden after a while from not hearing from me, he contacts me. You have to also be aloof and keep yourself busy. Sure you may wonder what your guy is up to but don't let it be too obvious. Don't do too much of the calling. Guilty again also cause I would do some of the calling also just to keep the lines of communication open. Now I don't do much at all. I leave it up to him. It might sound cold and I have to admit it's not easy when I don't hear from him but I hold my own. Please if you want to have a chance with this Aqua guy you must show you have your own life which I'm sure you already do show but the calling/checking up on him is a no-no. Just sit back and let him take contact with you and be yourself. Being yourself is more than likely what attracted him to you in the first place. Keep being that person and not get worked up analyzing things. Best of luck.

I had an Aqua guy telling me were best friends only from my 14 YO to 18 when he asked me to marry him.

Like Primegen and Mystical so wisely said, please stop try to anylize-decipher him.

A bunch of Double Standards! HA!
You Aqua's are rat bags I tell ya 🙂

"Stop asking so many questions and go enjoy what you have. Appreciate him, enjoy him and stop analysing him!"

Yeah then they will go & analyse the crap out of you & dissect your personality & motives until they have you so called 'figured' (in there own head at least) and if they don't like it or get bored or figure you out too quickly then you're DUMPED and not in a nice way dumped either ;( boo hoo

If you have any pride thou, don?t wait for his call, go to bed or better yet go to a friends (I used to go to Mum & Dads if I got really panicky about mr Aqua) remember yourself.

My opinion anyways 🙂

Uh Really Prime 😛

I like sneaking up from behind 😉

I went out tonight for a bit, had dinner with a friend, came home around 10 pm, was in bed around 10:30 pm and he called me at 11:30 pm....just to tell me he was thinking about me.

I kept the phone call short...

nite everyone

Pleaseeee!
Don't give up on him just yet.

As an aquarian woman I have this thing about labels on relationships and saying "friend" is a big deal. For example, he probably cant feel it, u may not get this but I sometimes cant "feel"...so he maybe waiting to feel it or questioning if he will ever feel "it" (the L word). As we know aquarians have issues with any kind of relationship, yes...saying friend is safe...but he is playing it safe for a reason. I must say I've missed out on a potentially good relatiionship bcuz of the friend word....thats why u should stick it out.....atleast for a while. By the way he does REALLY like u. Good conversation means alot to aquarians.

Just speaking from experience....

By the way.....
One of my fav lines is *I dont do love"...."Its not fun" its a facade to not get hurt. Although I know this I still do it, but i'm workin on it.

I just wanted to say GOOD LUCK PEACH! Don't stress yourself out too much on your guy. I was stressing out too much on my guy but I've realized that I can't do that anymore. If it were meant to be then it will happen..if not oh well..

Yeh, just keep reading all these posts they are quite helpful. As for me, I've kind of lost hope on mine. It's just too hard cuz he doesn't live in the same city. I also met him online too. It does sound like your guy is interested, but as a typical Aqua he's got issues with emotions. hahhaa! 😛

Thanx OFA

I thought I was alone for a really long time...maybe weird....this message board for Aquas is interesting.

I wanna help right the book too!

"if he is the one initiating hand holding and kisses and stuff, then id say he probably is but hes just a little...uhh...scared? maybe? but otherwise, theres a big chance hes not if hes not initiating most of it. "

No, he's definitely the one initiating EVERYTHING...I wait for him to make the first moves and once he does, he knows that I'm welcoming whatever else he wants to do...It still makes me chuckle that he LOVES smelling my hair...

OFA, I think he does, too. I'm going out of town this weekend and he went with me to see a movie last night AND I just got back from having lunch with him. It was funny though, both times he made it seem as if I had to see him, but the reality was he put the ideas into my head after he mentioned them. He acts very interested in my day to day activities. He kept asking me what I had planned for tonight and although I am truly busy getting ready for my weekend travel, I couldn't help but think he was hinting that he wanted to see me, but I didn't want to make a verbal assumption.

We had a talk at lunch about where it's going and I initiated the friends thing again. He agreed and said he is on the same page as me and needing to feel as if we can at least be friends before we both dive into anything. He also did say that I was the only woman he's dating at the moment...so yes, I do think he's interested in me as I'm interested in him...but I think (I know) we're both scared of letting our guards down.

hp74...

funny you say that, b/c i remember how my ex aqua used to always call me and ask what i was doing that evening or if i had plans for the upcoming weekend, etc. but then he would never say "let's get together" or "do you want to do something". i never understood that. why would he ask me what my plans are and when i say i don't have any, he just says "OH"... never asked me if i wanted to get together. i was always the one who had to initiate the hanging out. even after two years, he had a hard time asking me to do something...strange!

if he already had tickets to something or if friends of ours invited us out, then he would call and ask me if i wanted to go...but if it was just the two of us, he would have the hardest time asking me to just "hang out".

I believe he is looking for your aspproval and he just doeesnt want to be rejected....the aquarius pride. Just tell him how u feel...makesure you let him know you REALLY like him.

By the way, If you aren't seeing anyone else let him know that b4 u go on that trip.

"but as a typical Aqua he's got issues with emotions. hahhaa!"

no...its normal, we (most aqua men) are typical men, we're not weird, we are very very very very normal.....i recommend you to read this book "silly men from mars, pity women from venus" and you will know why i said its normal

typical (masculine) men are unexpresive, unemotional, ignorance, hate to deal with details, not romantic etc, if you want a romantic guy who will tell you "i love u" , give you flower everyday, go find a feminime guy....a typical man will always think marriage seem to have no advantage for him.

our uniqueness is our modern thoughts, no less, no more

hp74, what you like the most from your aqua man?

LOL AlienRobot guy....your right. But, they do think its weird when women act like that...speakin from experience.

cmarow... i don't agree with what you said. sounds like you just proved your male aquaness to everyone! you sound exactly like my ex aqua...he was always calling any guy who was a romantic or in love with a girl a pussy. even though for the first year of our relationship he was madly in love with me and would say "i love you" all the time!

it is nice to have a man be a "man", but at the same time it is nice to be with a guy that is willing to express his emotions and show a "more true" side to him once in a while. men are human too and they do have feelings.

and if my aqua was so masculine (b/c his thoughts are like yours on the above) like you claim yourself to be, why did he make such a pussy move like breaking up with me over the phone after 2 years? only a BOY makes a move like that, not a MAN...

Your right too moonchild...

"it is nice to have a man be a "man", but at the same time it is nice to be with a guy that is willing to express his emotions and show a "more true" side to him once in a while"

Once in a while

Message posted by: Lady_M on 6/16/2006 2:33:36 PM
By the way, If you aren't seeing anyone else let him know that b4 u go on that trip.

YES, he knows I'm not seeing anyone on this trip. He knows I'm going home to see my family, specifically my dad, for Father's Day. Before I got in my car to come back to work, after asking me for the third time what I was doing the rest of the day/tonight, he said "Well I'll catch up with you later this weekend". I did tell him this morning that I was trying to come up with an excuse to bail out on a lunch date with someone I'd met before him that I didn't click with. That was when he suggested coming to have lunch with me. He drove outside of the Houston city limits, dealing with traffic, to come see me - even though he had to be back for a meeting within 90 minutes...so I thought that showed some real interest.


Message posted by: CallMeAlienRobotOrWhatever on 6/16/2006 2:34:56 PM
hp74, what you like the most from your aqua man?

I can't peg just one thing. He's very honest, very affectionate, compliments me, does this cute little wink at me, wants to hold my hand (walking around or in movie theatre/other places), and I don't see him as putting up an act to be someone he's not.

The one thing that irks me is every now and then, he'll call me "dude"
lol

"""now i am telling a guy who i am crazy about that i just want to be friends...what is wrong here—?"""

OFA : why ? why ? why ?

OFA, I did the same thing with this Aqua guy since most of me wants that but I also know that that's what he wants for now. It's tough...

Well my Aqua had the "friends first" talk with me again. All I did was say candidly, "You know, >, I really like you"....no "I want us to only see each other" or "You're mine, all mine"....it was like he flipped out and said "Let's not rush our feelings, let's be friends first" ....

So this is the classic sign of an Aqua being affectionate with you for about a week and then their reputation of being aloof shows its ugly little head!

no = not in the entry above as in NOT "I want us to only see each other"

.

we are just naturally know how to make woman want and love us more, by turning on-off-on-off-on-off-on-off-on-off-on-off-on-off-on-off-on-off-on-off-on-off-on-off-on-off-on-off-on-off-on-off-on-off-on-off-on-off-on-off-on-off-on-off-on-off-on-off-on-off-on-off-on-off.....opsss the switch is broken

lol

Does it really matter to you to be "labeled" exclusive or can u deal with the fact that you probably are the only girl he is seeing without having a definite label?

If you value the friendship, but dont like the situation...... be friends and find someone who cares for the way u want to be cared for.

Thats what i'd do, if I were you. Dont let him waste your time....

lol hp74, i'm not kidding, i'm serious......ask the physicologist or go to dating tips for men site, they probably will teach you the same technique about "how to make woman love man more"

women are attention seekers. The secret of our method is that we confuse her. First we make her think that we are really interested in her. Second, we make her feel as if we are no longer interested. Then, repeat the process. What will eventually happen is that her need to be accepted will grow and she will focus her attention on us. Then her mind will wander, and she will think about why she is spending so much time thinking about us. Her subconscious mind will then reason that it must be because she cares about us.

preference & attraction, are 2 different words

I ended it this morning...I told him I was not one to play charades and if he wanted to send mixed signals, then he could do it with someone else. He acted confused and hurt, but I have better things to do...

No, it's not wimping out...it's tired of the BS. I cannot tolerate being told that I'm so beautiful, a sweetheart, everything he likes in a woman, kisses me like there's no tomorrow and then BAM! he says "Let's not rush into things. Let's be friends first"

That's CRAP!

Yes, but over the weekend, I told him that I liked him and he blew that out of context...jumping the gun and saying "Let's not rush things, let's be friends first" all the while I'm asking myself "Where is he getting this from 'I like you?'"

I called him this morning to say good morning and I acted chummy, but he was back to calling me "Baby", "Dear", "Sweetheart"...that sent questions through my mind..."Wow is he this affectionate with everyone whom he is friends with?" So I've decided if he wants to be friends with me, then that's fine...but all of the affection stops...

situation with this same guy?

That's the thing GL, I never was the one who showed the affection first. He always initiated it...so that's why I can't deal with this wishy washy crap-ola from him. Either he's interested or he's not....what's wrong with him saying "Yes, I'm interested in you, but we need to be friends first?"

Much of what I wanted to hear from him was if he was interested in me because his actions were speaking really loud; but I'm not a mind reader.

Perhaps I haven't "learned my lesson"...whatever lesson that is...

I never claimed to be faultless...if I did think I was, I wouldn't be seeking the advice of others as I would know I already had the answers. I understand what you are saying, but on the same token, I am not a mind toy. Nobody likes their minds toyed with; if we all just spoke our mind as freely and easily as we do in this forum, then life would be uncomplicated - or least less complicated.

true

"Relationship are all about lessons, if you understand that, it makes dealing with them a lot easier. Instead of brushing this guy off and assuming it is him with the issues, it would be more productive to honestly look at your own actions and behaviors. In a relatonship, nobody is EVER faultless for the outcome."

-that is exactly how i feel right now about my situation...for the first 3 weeks i blamed it all on him, but now i have come to the realization that i messed up and put myself in the position where i am right now. i ave definitely learned a life lesson!

and prime...you know this.

I know I've learned a lesson from this, and perhaps I've blown it with this guy entirely. He's a nice guy overall and he made me feel good when he was expressing his feelings....

But I dn't like being in a state of "what if's" and uncertainties

when does leave Cancer?

did she happen to mention if those people who made snap decisions will be able to get sense knocked into them when sun arrives in Cancer?

😉

Ha! Is that what the fo it is!! Crap 😢 Frickin Gem's making me all restless & Cancers making me all teary!
Had the first 'real' argument with Mr Aqua last weekend - Both had a little teary 😢 Whoever said Aqua's are unemotional have it confused. Aquas are detached, true, but unemotional noooo. When their heart is in it, it is totally there.
It takes along time for the commitment but once committed be ready to decide because they will expect the same.
I can't ever get complacent with him thou because he could suddenly switch back to 'testing' 1,2 heh heh. I have seen this in him. Just when I think it is safe & we so called know each other, he starts with the testing & changing which is a good thing. Its all a learning process. Gets a bit exhausting sometimes.

Sorry, dribbling crap again 🙂

give these men some time, and be your interesting self-i used some of the rules on here as I liked them-and they were a total sucsess-aqua men are like no other-and well worth waiting for.
Be soft and strong when needed.

Ok, my Aqua called me last night and talked to me for 3 hours. He opened up a little, but whenever I asked a few more questions to understand him more, he clammed up and changed the subject.

The conversation was enjoyable for the most part and I found out more about him. I just don't like the fact that I had to tell him that I can't feel like I'm pulling teeth with him before he opens up. But like I said, he opened up a little, and then clammed up as soon as I started asking questions. I decided that I have to let him offer up the information and let him offer however much he wants to - not ask him questions too personal. It's information he wants to share, and it's on his time, not mine.

What can I say, Prime...you're the all-knowing Aqua.

From what I read about the comments Primegen has made, he tells the way a male thinks which we women need to have some insight in. I have learnt a lot from reading what he has written. I've been dealing with a guy and a lot of what Primegen has written has been correct and the guy in my case is another star sign. I can tell you one thing, if the guy in my case was an Aqua I would also be asking for advice from him because I know he would tell me the truth.

this got me thinking about a aqua man i was friends with untill i moved job.
u see i he said that to me she's not my type about one of his friends and was alway flirting with me but he said he only wanted friends. now i dont see him and miss our friendship. i know im wrong in waiting for him to text me again and wanting something to happen.

HP74 checking in:

Since telling this Aqua guy that I don't see us going anywhere, he has called me and messaged me twice...almost like he's checking up on me. He messaged me this morning and again this afternoon...I told him that I had lunch plans and woulnd't be back until 1-ish..had a message from him "How was lunch?"...then he asked me if I wanted to go to dinner tonight and I told him I had plans...he said "Wow, you must have a hot date!"...told him that I didn't. He is almost acting hurt or jealous that I'm showing signs of moving on...

what's cold?