Help with Mr Non Commitment :)

I have been dating an Aquarius guy for three months now on and off.

Sun Aquarius

Mercury Aquarius

Venus Sagittarius

Mars Gemini

Not sure of his moon...I guess either Libra or Scorp.

I am a Scorpio with a water / air mixed chart so I am definitely more emotional while he is more logical.

The relationship has had it's ups and downs, mainly because while we are drawn together, he acts like an Aquarius and I act like a Scorpio 🙂 I know he finds me a little too intense and he is not sure if he loves that or not, and I find him a little too cold - but we're both good people and we like each other a lot so there's been an effort on both sides to listen to the others needs and slowly build understanding.

It's clear he has a very strong attraction to me physically, and we also have a really good mental connection. We have really great conversations and we laugh a lot / joke a lot and have a warm friendship developing and no matter what he pretty much contacts me every single day - even when we're not "dating". He tells me regularly how beautiful I am, and the way he says it is always so sincere and lovely.

I broke things off after a couple of months because he wasn't ready to be exclusive and I said that was what I wanted (because I know I am a Scorpio and I don't share) but after breaking things off he continued to contact me every day and always wanted to speak to me; and when I started dating someone else he got quite jealous about it and didn't like it at all.

He is a little non-committal, or very slow to open up, but he is also an extremely honest person who's kind and respectful and I have never taken offence to his desire to avoid exclusive commitment because it always felt like maybe for him this represented something he found a bit scary and intense and he was totally open about it.

I hadn't seen him for a few weeks after we stopped dating, but I had a really big achievement at work this week, and he insisted on coming over to see me and he brought me a really special personalised gift he had made up and some champagne and told me how proud he was of me. We ended up spending the evening and night together and he was so sweet and affectionate and it felt really "right" to me and best of all we really, really laugh a lot when we are together. He is very dry and sarcastic and sometimes he makes me laugh to the point of snorting.

That night he came over he told me he had dated a couple of other girls in the time we split up, and that he hadn't really liked them as much as me and he felt like they were the warm up band and I was the main event - which was nice and I think he was being sincere, and he seems to really like me and puts work into me and YET - I am still not sure where I stand.

He says what he wants is to spend time together, more time together, and he said he was willing to make an effort to travel to me and organise whole days together so we can enjoy that time and he has compromised on some elements to accommodate me. He said he suggested we go away together for a few days and we just "practice" (his word choice) and gain understanding of each other.

I really want to do this - I think we have real potential - yet I kind of feel like we are back to square one because he wants to date again but no one has mentioned exclusivity.

I am really not sure how to play this. We love time together, we talk every day, the physical and mental attraction is really great but I find his lack of commitment to exclusivity makes me feel insecure and that puts me off. I feel like I have already told him this calmly and he took it as a demand for a long term future (which it wasn't) and it scared him off.

How should I play this if I like this guy?

Should I continue to date other people myself (clearly this bothers him enormously)?

All I really want is to date one-on-one and see how it goes. I don't want to be wondering who else he is with or anything like that because I feel like it spoils the sweetness of the connection if you cheapen it like that.

How do I achieve that with a very commitment shy Aquarius? I know at the moment he has the physical and mental attraction and friendship is growing but I think he is still unsure if we would work long term and he is worried about committing to early and regretting it.

It's kind of a catch 22 because to find out if we work as a couple, we have to try out being one

Posted by MondayMorning
I have been dating an Aquarius guy for three months now on and off.

Sun Aquarius

Mercury Aquarius

Venus Sagittarius

Mars Gemini

Not sure of his moon...I guess either Libra or Scorp.

I am a Scorpio with a water / air mixed chart so I am definitely more emotional while he is more logical.

The relationship has had it's ups and downs, mainly because while we are drawn together, he acts like an Aquarius and I act like a Scorpio 🙂 I know he finds me a little too intense and he is not sure if he loves that or not, and I find him a little too cold - but we're both good people and we like each other a lot so there's been an effort on both sides to listen to the others needs and slowly build understanding.

It's clear he has a very strong attraction to me physically, and we also have a really good mental connection. We have really great conversations and we laugh a lot / joke a lot and have a warm friendship developing and no matter what he pretty much contacts me every single day - even when we're not "dating". He tells me regularly how beautiful I am, and the way he says it is always so sincere and lovely.

I broke things off after a couple of months because he wasn't ready to be exclusive and I said that was what I wanted (because I know I am a Scorpio and I don't share) but after breaking things off he continued to contact me every day and always wanted to speak to me; and when I started dating someone else he got quite jealous about it and didn't like it at all.

He is a little non-committal, or very slow to open up, but he is also an extremely honest person who's kind and respectful and I have never taken offence to his desire to avoid exclusive commitment because it always felt like maybe for him this represented something he found a bit scary and intense and he was totally open about it.

I hadn't seen him for a few weeks after we stopped dating, but I had a really big achievement at work this week, and he insisted on coming over to see me and he brought me a really special personalised gift he had made up and some champagne and told me how proud he was of me. We ended up spending the evening and night together and he was so sweet and affectionate and it felt really "right" to me and best of all we really, really laugh a lot when we are together. He is very dry and sarcastic and sometimes he makes me laugh to the point of snorting.

That night he came over he told me he had dated a couple of other girls in the time we split up, and that he hadn't really liked them as much as me and he felt like they were the warm up band and I was the main event - which was nice and I think he was being sincere, and he seems to really like me and puts work into me and YET - I am still not sure where I stand.

He says what he wants is to spend time together, more time together, and he said he was willing to make an effort to travel to me and organise whole days together so we can enjoy that time and he has compromised on some elements to accommodate me. He said he suggested we go away together for a few days and we just "practice" (his word choice) and gain understanding of each other.

I really want to do this - I think we have real potential - yet I kind of feel like we are back to square one because he wants to date again but no one has mentioned exclusivity.

I am really not sure how to play this. We love time together, we talk every day, the physical and mental attraction is really great but I find his lack of commitment to exclusivity makes me feel insecure and that puts me off. I feel like I have already told him this calmly and he took it as a demand for a long term future (which it wasn't) and it scared him off.

How should I play this if I like this guy?

Should I continue to date other people myself (clearly this bothers him enormously)?

All I really want is to date one-on-one and see how it goes. I don't want to be wondering who else he is with or anything like that because I feel like it spoils the sweetness of the connection if you cheapen it like that.

How do I achieve that with a very commitment shy Aquarius? I know at the moment he has the physical and mental attraction and friendship is growing but I think he is still unsure if we would work long term and he is worried about committing to early and regretting it.

It's kind of a catch 22 because to find out if we work as a couple, we have to try out being one

My goodness you're a talker aren't you?

In my opinion I think you already have his heart. We don't do all this for someone we don't see a future with. I think you should require more patience and let him lead. Aquarius are traditional and non traditional and establishing intimacy takes time.

@Everyounce ha ha, he says I talk too much too!

@aquarius_beauty I can't access that link but would love to read it?

Posted by MondayMorning
@Everyounce ha ha, he says I talk too much too!

@aquarius_beauty I can't access that link but would love to read it?

That to me is one of the best qualities of Scorpios/scorpio moons. I love people who can talk it makes me open up more. As for his sag venus don't let it scare you. I snagged one in the past (Sag sun/sag venus) and we still have a good friendship despite my ending the relationship. As long as you don't give it up before establishing a mental connection and give them their space without pressuring them for commitment they will be all yours.

Thanks everyounce. It scared me at first but then I guess three months later he is still here, still slowly growing forward so I am learning to let him pace himself. To be honest I have a sense of trust and appreciation of hi at this point so if it doesn't work out he's still special to me.

That is possibly one of the most freedom loving and non committal combo of signs I have seen

Aqua, Sag and Gem combined.....Just screams no to settling down with anyone

I know @MyStarsShine

He seems to wrestle a bit with it because he sees commitment as giving up freedom rather than gaining something.

I know @MyStarsShine

He seems to wrestle a bit with it because he sees commitment as giving up freedom rather than gaining something.

Give it a chance. But don't fuck him if exclusivity hasn't been established.

Posted by MondayMorning
I know @MyStarsShine

He seems to wrestle a bit with it because he sees commitment as giving up freedom rather than gaining something.

I wouldn't hold your breath with this one

Sounds like a Scorpio's worst nightmare

Thank you AquariusBeauty! Sounds exactly like him.

I know MyStarsShine, but some things are worth a little extra effort...🙂

Posted by MondayMorning
Thank you AquariusBeauty! Sounds exactly like him.

I know MyStarsShine, but some things are worth a little extra effort...🙂

I used to say that and then I had two relationships with two Aqua men

...one of them nagged me to move in with him and then when I did, he became detached from me...when I left him, he told me he had a death wish on me ... he pushed and pulled me to see how far he could go and it backfired on him....weirdo

..the other one was a stoner and didn't know how to relate but was mad about me....kind of obsessed without knowing how to commit

I am attracted to the Aqua energy, but romantically, they are a head fuck, especially for water sign women

*shudders*

Posted by MyStarsShine
...one of them nagged me to move in with him and then when I did, he became detached from me...when I left him, he told me he had a death wish on me ... he pushed and pulled me to see how far he could go and it backfired on him....weirdo

..the other one was a stoner and didn't know how to relate but was mad about me....kind of obsessed without knowing how to commit

I am attracted to the Aqua energy, but romantically, they are a head fuck, especially for water sign women

*shudders*

I am so sorry you had this experience 😢 I have also had really bad experiences with Geminis, Scorpios, Cancer and Taurus men so I am not sure it is 100% down to astrology when someone treats you badly. I think it helps to use astrology to learn how to communicate and understand someone but people can treat you badly of any sign. I know a few EXTREMELY devoted and committed Aquarius men and women who would never stray from their partner or behave badly but I do agree it can be tougher with the synchronicity with people who are tough combinations

@Aquariusbeauty that is all very good advice. I did already let go of my over-riding Scorpio tendencies and I can laugh about it with him. It's healthy for me anyway to not be able to wrap every guy around in knots 🙂

So you suggest I just continue dating him without asking questions and enjoy the time we spend together?

It's an unusual relationship for me, but he is consistent like clockwork. Always texts me every day, always says goodnight. On text he is not the most emotional guy in the world, he says nice things sometimes but mostly he is like "Hello, how was your day, I slept well" etc. and a lot of the time he really, really teases me. lots of teasing.

In person, he's different. Very, very affectionate (most affectionate date ever) and just kisses me between every sentence and strokes my hair, back, legs, arms, wrists and he will sit and do that for literally 6 or 7 hours just wrapping his fingers around my wrist or stroking my ears. At those times he sometimes says really nice things, but he's not always very verbal!

He just leaves me with a very warm, authentic feeling

Posted by MondayMorning

Posted by MyStarsShine
...one of them nagged me to move in with him and then when I did, he became detached from me...when I left him, he told me he had a death wish on me ... he pushed and pulled me to see how far he could go and it backfired on him....weirdo

..the other one was a stoner and didn't know how to relate but was mad about me....kind of obsessed without knowing how to commit

I am attracted to the Aqua energy, but romantically, they are a head fuck, especially for water sign women

*shudders*

I am so sorry you had this experience 😢 I have also had really bad experiences with Geminis, Scorpios, Cancer and Taurus men so I am not sure it is 100% down to astrology when someone treats you badly. I think it helps to use astrology to learn how to communicate and understand someone but people can treat you badly of any sign. I know a few EXTREMELY devoted and committed Aquarius men and women who would never stray from their partner or behave badly but I do agree it can be tougher with the synchronicity with people who are tough combinations

click to expand

Thanks, but I am not sorry....I am delighted to be away from them lol. I still like the aqua energy and those men never cheated on me, their behaviour was just weird and unstable

I agree on the tough combos.....for me as a Scorp woman, Aqua man are a no go...but love them as friends .... very interesting people

The main thing is, I learned my lessons.....so it's all good

@MyStarsShine - I find for me the no-gos are Geminis (I tend to find them not emotional enough) and Leos (huge ego clash and they try and control me) and Pisces (Waaaaay to clingy and emotional) but some of those signs are meant to be really compatible with me.

The guy I had a date with a few weeks ago was Pisces sun, Pisces Merc and he was just so needy even after 1 date. Absolutely no mystery, he spilled his soul to me over dinner and by the end of the night he wanted me to meet his parents.

I find I work better with guys who are kind, honest, consistent and show me attention and time but not overkill to the point of desperate and I really hate anyone trying to control me.

I don't discard guys based on their planets, but I can alwasy spot a Leo on the first conversation. Last one I talked to started telling me he was a famous artist in the first 5 minutes of conversation and showing me his paintings to impress me. I just groaned inside. I hate that! I prefer people who are more authentic and not about showing it all off.

In find it means so much more when I have to earn someone's time rather than they just give it away

Good luck with him.......look at the title of this thread though 😱 lol



All you can do is give it your best and see what happens..it is all learning at the end of the day and i realize now that all the rships i have been in have taught me loads about myself so that has to be good

🙂

Well let's hope that happens.

My real problem is lack of confidence / worrying he doesn't like me enough which causes me to overthink!

Mr Non commitment invited me to go on vacation with him today!

This is entirely amazing, it's usually hard to get him to commit to lunch 😉

Posted by MondayMorning
Mr Non commitment invited me to go on vacation with him today!

This is entirely amazing, it's usually hard to get him to commit to lunch 😉

Lovely 🙂

Maybe you change his name to *Mr maybe commitment*

Enjoy the holiday

No, after I broke things off I just left him alone completely, but I replied when he messaged me. I kept things light and friendly and if he wanted to talk to me I was nice but acted like I was getting on with my life (which I was)

I think I will give him just a little time and see what happens, keeping in the back of my mind that commitment might not be on the cards

He doesn't remember what time he was born, might be libra or scorpio! Knowing him I'd say libra

Posted by MondayMorning
I think I will give him just a little time and see what happens, keeping in the back of my mind that commitment might not be on the cards

I think you are learning. 🙂

Hes seeing other people.

I know that.

Mars is the issue. Gemini may make him a commitment-fob

I agree with you on that @ScorpioTruth