Aries girl suddenly ignoring me

I'm a cancer girl. I met this Aries bartender girl in a bar. I told her im bi and she said that she's bicurious, so I got her number and sent her a message a week after we met. She said she's been wondering when i'll be back from my beach trip and that I "made her night" the night we met. She seemed really excited to message. We've been texting really long messages (3-5 long messages at a time!), mostly asking and answering each other's questions--stuff we like to do, what we're doing, plans for the day, complimenting each other, etc. She would even send photos and vids of her dog. In passing, she mentioned that she has a bf, which I didn't know about so I apologized for texting. She laughed and said that her bf knows she's curious about girls and he knows we're texting. When I found out though, my messages became less flirty and more friendly. I even tried ending the convo since she was on a trip with the bf, but she said I wasn't disturbing at all and that she enjoyed talking to me. The next day, I didn't message her anymore since I felt guilty, but she messaged me first. And again, I tried ending the convo towards the end of the day but she asked what my plans were for the night so the convo continued again. I'm very attracted to her, so it's hard to just stop replying. :o

I told her i'll come by to the bar on the weekend where she works since it's just a few steps away from where I live. She was so excited! She sat beside me (super closely) and continued our conversations from our messaging. Her piecing eyes intimidated me a bit (I tried not to show it though haha), her eye contact's quite intense. Not sure if that's an aries thing.. On my side, I was a bit touchy (Im very touchy with everyone when Im talking if im comfy and even more if im attracted to someone). Anyway, we've been talking and I'd try to include everyone in the conversation instead of just talking to her, but I sensed she preferred a one on one conversation. However, I can't stop thinking about the fact that she has a bf so I'd try to make it a group convo. After a while, she had to go to the bar since the place was starting to pack up. She'd check up on me from time to time, asked me questions and stuff, but most of the time I was speaking with my friend. After a while, we got hungry so we left and said we'll come back. We had an awkward goodbye haha. We of course came back, and she followed us to the side of the bar we went to and was again looking excited to see us saying "aww you came back!" We had one last beer, chatted with her some more and then we left.

She hasn't read the last message I sent before meeting up with her that night it was just a see you later and unimportant comments. But she's deliberately not opening it, cause I can see her online at times. I didn't message her again anymore too. I feel she's ignoring me on purpose, not sure why. Any reason for this? I know it shouldn't matter since she's attached, but I like her, and Im ok with just being friends with her since we have a lot of weird stuff in common. Haha

Give it a week. If she still hasn't replied, then she's probably lost interest.

It's also highly possible though that she picked up on your hesitation to get involved with her.

Posted by Ram416
It's also highly possible though that she picked up on your hesitation to get involved with her.

^

totally agree with this. I notice things like that. Just be forward/direct with what you want from her.

"She sat beside me (super closely) and continued our conversations from our messaging. Her piecing eyes intimidated me a bit (I tried not to show it though haha), her eye contact's quite intense."

^

If we're interested in someone we get real close and we watch very intently.

She said she was bicurious to get the good tip.

She was just flirting. Don't invest too much. As she has a bf already I'm sure her life is already at capacity for extra relationships. We're one track minded and don't do multiple relationships.

Posted by windbells

Posted by Ram416
It's also highly possible though that she picked up on your hesitation to get involved with her.

^

totally agree with this. I notice things like that. Just be forward/direct with what you want from her.

"She sat beside me (super closely) and continued our conversations from our messaging. Her piecing eyes intimidated me a bit (I tried not to show it though haha), her eye contact's quite intense."

^

If we're interested in someone we get real close and we watch very intently.

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I've decided to just forget about it, because I feel it's quite disrespectful to the boyfriend to push it. I'm thinking the bf might have asked her to stop communicating with me, but that's just a theory. Cause she was really friendly and all even before I left, so it's weird that she's suddenly like this. Can't blame the bf.. Who wants to lose their girl?

I actually disagree with a few things already said here.

Firstly an Aries can pick up a message and not reply, they will usually reply straight away or put it on the to do list and never get round to it. This does not mean they do not like you. In the past I've taken a week to reply to a direct question a girl I liked asked me, I'm not sure why but I did ok.

Message types indicating an Aries like you are: They compliment you, thank you for time or meeting them, and ask you what you prefer, ask you to meetups, and also directly saying they like you. That last one should be obvious. Number of messages are not important, and length of message also not important, nor is time taken to reply.

So she has a boyfriend? My advice would be to keep going with what you are doing and be flirty like you were before, if you enjoy her company, then enjoy it. She's a grown up so let her make her decision, don't make it for her! Of course you are probably not attracted to her as much if you think she will ditch her bf like that. But I think you need to be a bit more selfish with it, she might like you more than her boyfriend, and I think sometimes especially with Aries women, if she's been with her boyfriend and it's gone into routine mode, then she'll probably end up thanking you for getting her out of it, because no Aries wants routine, but it can happen by default.

Speaking from experience with Aries women, they say they have a boyfriend, but they want to hang out with you, they are completely honest with everyone about it, including their boyfriend, and if the boyfriend does nothing about it, then he is not interested anymore. That is how an Aries guy sees it, and Aries women, you are doing nothing wrong by hanging out, and when/if she decides to be with you, then what's the big deal with the other guy, who didn't like her. Don't force yourself on her, but let her decide. I have feeling you will get with her if you do this. If her current boyfriend does not fight for her, then it's over with him. And do not assume if she's quiet that her boyfriend has told her not to message, Aries women don't exactly take orders! In fact if he has, then I also think it would be over with him, cos jealousy stinks. But never assume anything.

My first thought was her bf wants a 3 sum and she’s entertaining the idea, but isn’t serious about doing it

Posted by AriesJo
I actually disagree with a few things already said here.

Firstly an Aries can pick up a message and not reply, they will usually reply straight away or put it on the to do list and never get round to it. This does not mean they do not like you. In the past I've taken a week to reply to a direct question a girl I liked asked me, I'm not sure why but I did ok.

Message types indicating an Aries like you are: They compliment you, thank you for time or meeting them, and ask you what you prefer, ask you to meetups, and also directly saying they like you. That last one should be obvious. Number of messages are not important, and length of message also not important, nor is time taken to reply.

So she has a boyfriend? My advice would be to keep going with what you are doing and be flirty like you were before, if you enjoy her company, then enjoy it. She's a grown up so let her make her decision, don't make it for her! Of course you are probably not attracted to her as much if you think she will ditch her bf like that. But I think you need to be a bit more selfish with it, she might like you more than her boyfriend, and I think sometimes especially with Aries women, if she's been with her boyfriend and it's gone into routine mode, then she'll probably end up thanking you for getting her out of it, because no Aries wants routine, but it can happen by default.

Speaking from experience with Aries women, they say they have a boyfriend, but they want to hang out with you, they are completely honest with everyone about it, including their boyfriend, and if the boyfriend does nothing about it, then he is not interested anymore. That is how an Aries guy sees it, and Aries women, you are doing nothing wrong by hanging out, and when/if she decides to be with you, then what's the big deal with the other guy, who didn't like her. Don't force yourself on her, but let her decide. I have feeling you will get with her if you do this. If her current boyfriend does not fight for her, then it's over with him. And do not assume if she's quiet that her boyfriend has told her not to message, Aries women don't exactly take orders! In fact if he has, then I also think it would be over with him, cos jealousy stinks. But never assume anything.

Huhu, I was afraid to read something like this. Haha.. It's only giving me hope.



She did compliment me a couple of times but they were never about my physical traits, so not sure if that counts. The rest, no she didn't say/do. She did tell me her schedule though--which days and the times she's at the bar. Does asking a lot of questions a good sign does she's interested? She did say she likes talking to me and that she finds me interesting, but interesting's such a broad word. And she also said she'd want to talk more in person, but she never invited me on a date or anything.



You don't think she'll get turned off? I've stopped texting though, so if I do push through with flirting, it'll be face to face flirting with other people around. Not sure if she'll be onboard with that.. Haha. I'm a subtle flirt, but I'm really touchy. Hope that doesn't scare her off.



If he fights for her, should I stop then? I'm actually more of friendly in our convos than flirty. I was just flirty when we met up in person and just through touching, not through words. I was getting to know her and asking questions and also answering her questions.

Posted by pinkbird03
My first thought was her bf wants a 3 sum and she’s entertaining the idea, but isn’t serious about doing it

I thought that, too! But I felt like she wasn't comfy talking about him in our conversations and we never spoke about anything sexual so Im not sure. Haha. I'm not down for that anyway! HAHA

I think touching and feeling is good, better than flirting with words probably. Aries are not subtle, so if your flirty style is subtle then don’t worry if she doesn’t notice it straight away. And I doubt she will get scared. If she said she wants to talk to your more in person then this is a very good sign, it might have put the ownership on you to suggest when you were free, or suggest where, but it doesn’t matter too much now. Aries will try to arrange dates, that’s the next level, sure hanging out with friends is cool, but the next step is obviously to get together one to one, and if she’s asking questions about your schedule and what you prefer, then she’s obviously thinking about how she can arrange something you’d like. She’s thinking about the next step, just help her out on it a little, like you don’t have to ask her out but tell her when you’re free or a place you’ve wanted to try.

I don’t think you should back off, even if she told you her boyfriend was taking her out to a romantic dinner, I personally would say something like “what’s the deal with your boyfriend, you know I like you right?” Because Aries live for excitement. And if you think about how direct Aries are.. then how are they going to take it badly if you are direct with them. You’re just giving the same energy. I think the plan just needs to be keep doing what you’re doing, try to take it to the next level, or let her take it to the next level, then if something suddenly changes and you think her boyfriend is making more effort with her, then tell her you want to be with her and show that you will fight for her. And I’m almost 100% sure at that point she will choose you and forget her boyfriend. Otherwise just keep it going and wait for her to say she likes you.

Posted by AriesJo
I think touching and feeling is good, better than flirting with words probably. Aries are not subtle, so if your flirty style is subtle then don’t worry if she doesn’t notice it straight away. And I doubt she will get scared. If she said she wants to talk to your more in person then this is a very good sign, it might have put the ownership on you to suggest when you were free, or suggest where, but it doesn’t matter too much now. Aries will try to arrange dates, that’s the next level, sure hanging out with friends is cool, but the next step is obviously to get together one to one, and if she’s asking questions about your schedule and what you prefer, then she’s obviously thinking about how she can arrange something you’d like. She’s thinking about the next step, just help her out on it a little, like you don’t have to ask her out but tell her when you’re free or a place you’ve wanted to try.

I don’t think you should back off, even if she told you her boyfriend was taking her out to a romantic dinner, I personally would say something like “what’s the deal with your boyfriend, you know I like you right?” Because Aries live for excitement. And if you think about how direct Aries are.. then how are they going to take it badly if you are direct with them. You’re just giving the same energy. I think the plan just needs to be keep doing what you’re doing, try to take it to the next level, or let her take it to the next level, then if something suddenly changes and you think her boyfriend is making more effort with her, then tell her you want to be with her and show that you will fight for her. And I’m almost 100% sure at that point she will choose you and forget her boyfriend. Otherwise just keep it going and wait for her to say she likes you.

I'll thonk about it first. Haha. I observe her body language the next time I see her. 🙂 If she still seems eager then maybe I will, if not, i'll stop. Haha! Most people on here think she was just flirting for fun.

Posted by Caramel_Princess
Maybe she just loved the attention or wanted to find out things like she said she’s curious? Now she found out and maybe not interested anymore.

You also kept mentioning the BF when she said it’s not a problem and it turned her off.

Yeh, that's highly possible too. Haha! Oh well. I'll see how she is when I see her in person and base my next step from there.

Posted by tiziani
It sounds like it's on shakey ground to begin with.

Yeh it does seem like that. I'm willing to risk it though if she's still interested! Haha

Posted by AverageJoe99
She’s too nice to tell you she’s not interested

When an Aries is truly interested, there’s no stopping that ball once it gets rollin.

You think? Even if she's with someone already? Are you saying it's hars to trust an aries? Hahahuhu

Posted by Caramel_Princess

Posted by allyouneedisloveandwine

Posted by Caramel_Princess
Maybe she just loved the attention or wanted to find out things like she said she’s curious? Now she found out and maybe not interested anymore.

You also kept mentioning the BF when she said it’s not a problem and it turned her off.

Yeh, that's highly possible too. Haha! Oh well. I'll see how she is when I see her in person and base my next step from there.

Guard your heart around her. She seems like she loves the attention she’s getting from you but I’m not sure how honest she is.

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I will for sure 😅