Best (healthy) ways to cope with a breakup you initiated...

This topic was created in the Miscellaneous forum by SnowBunny726 on Sunday, June 12, 2022 and has 21 replies.

Profile picture of sweethearts
@sweethearts
20 Years5,000+ Posts

Write down all the shit he put you through and the reasons why it never worked and why you initiated the break up. When you feel weak or sad… because that’s when you only think of the good parts…

Pick up that pad and remind yourself why you walked in the first place!

Profile picture of SeaLion
@SeaLion
8 Years1,000+ Posts

Getting high and sex with someone else.

Oh wait, you said healthy.....ummmmm...

Focus on a hobby or find a new hobby.

I started taking Tae Keon Do as a stress reliever after a break up. It aloud me to hurt people in a "healthy" way.

Profile picture of Doloris_Claiborne
@Doloris_Claiborne
4 Years

Cry as much as you need to. Fight it out in the gym or even at home (hitting pillows is underrated), talk to your closest friend's about it, just allow yourself to go through the motions unapologetically.

The more you try to rush it the harder it will be on you, just grieve.

Profile picture of SnowBunny726
@SnowBunny726
5 Years500+ Posts

Posted by SeaLion

Getting high and sex with someone else.

Oh wait, you said healthy.....ummmmm...

Focus on a hobby or find a new hobby.

I started taking Tae Keon Do as a stress reliever after a break up. It aloud me to hurt people in a "healthy" way.

HAHA that's literally what I've been doing the last few days smh

Profile picture of SnowBunny726
@SnowBunny726
5 Years500+ Posts

As broke as I am rn I just signed up for a gym membership yesterday and worked out for the first time in a few weeks, so now I'm gonna get my diet and daily habits right so that I'm ready for hot girl summer next summer hehe

Profile picture of SnowBunny726
@SnowBunny726
5 Years500+ Posts

Posted by sweethearts

Write down all the shit he put you through and the reasons why it never worked and why you initiated the break up. When you feel weak or sad… because that’s when you only think of the good parts…

Pick up that pad and remind yourself why you walked in the first place!

I will once I get a notebook which I keep forgetting to actually get...

Profile picture of SnowBunny726
@SnowBunny726
5 Years500+ Posts

Posted by ImperfectStorm

Why did you initiate the breakup? Was the relationship unhealthy and toxic or were you in self sabotage mode? (Which is also unhealthy and toxic).

It wasn't healthy and I wasn't getting what I wanted out of the relationship. We were both controlling and manipulative to each other and took each other for granted, and I realized I've had feelings for someone I met three years ago and I can't ignore them anymore. I'm not trying to like instantly go back to him and confess or anything lmao but I didn't feel like it's right for me to stay with the Gem when I had feelings for someone else at the same time, and since the relationship wasn't healthy anyways, I just decided to cut ties with the Gem which has been taking a toll on me emotionally.

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@SnowBunny726
5 Years500+ Posts

Posted by Jan12girl

Posted by SnowBunny726

Posted by ImperfectStorm

Why did you initiate the breakup? Was the relationship unhealthy and toxic or were you in self sabotage mode? (Which is also unhealthy and toxic).

It wasn't healthy and I wasn't getting what I wanted out of the relationship. We were both controlling and manipulative to each other and took each other for granted, and I realized I've had feelings for someone I met three years ago and I can't ignore them anymore. I'm not trying to like instantly go back to him and confess or anything lmao but I didn't feel like it's right for me to stay with the Gem when I had feelings for someone else at the same time, and since the relationship wasn't healthy anyways, I just decided to cut ties with the Gem which has been taking a toll on me emotionally.

Think about that some one else again . Will help you to get over

click to expand

I know. But I also wish this other person wasn't constantly on my mind because this shit is draining lol

Profile picture of justagirl
@justagirl
12 Years25,000+ Posts

Take this time and focus on healing inner stuff. I have found the best time to do true healing is when I am hurt, as crazy as that sounds. While you focus on yourself, you will be able to find and see patterns with your life, partnerships, family, friends that perhaps was never fully healed. Yes, it will be painful, but the rewards after is amazing. Also, it will help keep your mind not focus on him or the relationship. Find your power within.

Forgive yourself for mistakes made and if you believe in God or a high power, surrender the emotions, feelings and turmoil over, so you can heal and forgive. Before anyone says forgiveness isn't necessary, that is for yourself and no-one else, it will open your heart up ( if its blocked).

Make a list daily of the blessings in your life and focus on those, try to add something new each day. By focusing on the positive things in life, you will not focus on the negative or emotionally draining things.

Establish realistic goals of what you want to accomplish in the next month, 60 days, 3 months so on.

Hope some of the above helps and if this isn't your type of thing...

Try to focus on diet, exercise and healthy habits.

Profile picture of SnowBunny726
@SnowBunny726
5 Years500+ Posts

Posted by dontgiveup

Posted by SnowBunny726

Posted by ImperfectStorm

Why did you initiate the breakup? Was the relationship unhealthy and toxic or were you in self sabotage mode? (Which is also unhealthy and toxic).

It wasn't healthy and I wasn't getting what I wanted out of the relationship. We were both controlling and manipulative to each other and took each other for granted, and I realized I've had feelings for someone I met three years ago and I can't ignore them anymore. I'm not trying to like instantly go back to him and confess or anything lmao but I didn't feel like it's right for me to stay with the Gem when I had feelings for someone else at the same time, and since the relationship wasn't healthy anyways, I just decided to cut ties with the Gem which has been taking a toll on me emotionally.

Sounds like you may be suffering from

The lack of control now that you extracted yourself from the situation. Keep no contact, focus on yourself. Like the gym and working out like you stated.

Maybe flirt, talk to someone.

Get your mind going elsewhere the pain will subside.

I went through this last summer. I was tore up wondering if I made the right decision or not.. after a couple weeks I felt great as if I knew I did the right thing. I was working out, going out having fun and i didn’t look back. I still cared about my ex but he wasn’t the one for me.

After the initial adjustment is made you should feel relieved

click to expand

Yeah still going through the whole adjustment thing... Idk I'll figure it out. I'm just really stressed out and annoyed about everything and have no energy for anything.

Profile picture of SnowBunny726
@SnowBunny726
5 Years500+ Posts

Posted by kachi_cake

Posted by SnowBunny726

Posted by dontgiveup

Posted by SnowBunny726

Posted by ImperfectStorm

Why did you initiate the breakup? Was the relationship unhealthy and toxic or were you in self sabotage mode? (Which is also unhealthy and toxic).

It wasn't healthy and I wasn't getting what I wanted out of the relationship. We were both controlling and manipulative to each other and took each other for granted, and I realized I've had feelings for someone I met three years ago and I can't ignore them anymore. I'm not trying to like instantly go back to him and confess or anything lmao but I didn't feel like it's right for me to stay with the Gem when I had feelings for someone else at the same time, and since the relationship wasn't healthy anyways, I just decided to cut ties with the Gem which has been taking a toll on me emotionally.

Sounds like you may be suffering from

The lack of control now that you extracted yourself from the situation. Keep no contact, focus on yourself. Like the gym and working out like you stated.

Maybe flirt, talk to someone.

Get your mind going elsewhere the pain will subside.

I went through this last summer. I was tore up wondering if I made the right decision or not.. after a couple weeks I felt great as if I knew I did the right thing. I was working out, going out having fun and i didn’t look back. I still cared about my ex but he wasn’t the one for me.

After the initial adjustment is made you should feel relieved

Yeah still going through the whole adjustment thing... Idk I'll figure it out. I'm just really stressed out and annoyed about everything and have no energy for anything.

Don't you feel more relieved though?

click to expand

Not really. Yesterday I got drunk and when a friend of mine asked me how I've been holding up I finally cried when I talked about the Taurus I've been back and forth with for the last three years and that was the first time I cried about it

And then today I found a song that literally explains how I feel about the whole thing and I cried my eyes out again but sober this time

Profile picture of finnhilton
@finnhilton
4 Years

Give yourself time to think go on a vacation. Delete his photos, number, chat, and remainder from your life. After vacation, Keep yourself busy doing some stuff.

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@AbbyNormal
13 Years5,000+ PostsTaurus

Im really sorry to hear this, girl!! But its probably for the best so that’s good. I’d say detox and give yourself some clear headspace to move past this as soon as possible. Otherwise you risk just burying it inside and not actually dealing with it and letting it go. It’s gonna suck before it gets better—but it does get better and you’ll be way happier for it! I wish you energy and clarity. Keep up with the exercise and that will definitely give you more physical energy to help you deal.