Ask a Cancer Male (Page 3)

Plus you have to make sure your Cancer is comfortable or safe around you. We not going to do anything if we aren't comfortable with you. You gotta have patience. I know for me, i like direct or somewhat aggressive partners. If you want a Cancers attention, you gotta be sincere & direct about your feelings. Most Cancers won't be at 1st if they shy or cautious

@silentkiller Well maybe those Cancers got air placements lol. I never recall myself withdrawing from anyone, especially if i care about them. But i'm thinking some Cancers just need some alone time to recharge you know. We do handle a lot of emotions sometimes. Sometimes, i feel i care too much too. But, it's who i am. There's nothing wrong with you trying to understand us. So ask away 🙂. Just no bashing ok

If anything, i have had people go distant on me for no reason. So i couldn't imagine doing it to anyone else

Posted by woodenmeow
When I ask my cancer if we can spend more time togeher. He puts it back on me.. Saying you are the stranger when he not asked me to spend time either?
He always seems to shove any responsibly on to me

How are you asking him to spend more time, and how time do you spend with him on average?

Posted by silentkiller
Question:

the push/pull, dissapearing and then maybe returning... I know, that this is just how cncers roll. Now I'm just trying to understand it more: don't you ever see how this can/will appear to the poeple, you interact with? I mean: it easily comes across as game playing or leading someone on. Yes??
I know you Guys withdraw to think about Things and your feelings, but what would you have the other person do in the meantime? Act like you don't exist? Wait for you?
AND (and this is my main question) : if a person just Waits around for you, don't you then think this person to be weak? And with that a person you can't date? Or is it exactly what you want in a lover— Lot o questions, I know...😉

It does often appear like it is game playing, especially if Cancer doesn't explain (which often happens). Cancers can absorb a lot of ambient emotional energy in the room--the thing that makes them intuitive also can wear on them.

As far as what the other person can do--give them space and let them know you're around. I would expect the other person to do their own thing while I'm processing through all that "stuff".

To your main question, I touched on it. I don't expect the person to just sit and wait around. That's not saying I want the person to say "screw you" and just blow me off. I'd think it a little strange if the woman was just sitting around waiting for me to snap out of my shell.
What I'd appreciate is a woman who is independent, but considerate of my emotions/feelings. I see this often among Western women (especially the US) where the woman is "all about me", and blind to the man's needs. Don't expect the woman to be waiting on me hand and foot or continuously badgering me about our relationship (actually, that is a woman I wouldn't date).

@CancerontheCusp-

We see each other 1 time every 3 weeks.
I told him I didn't like not seeing him for that long. He said him either but then put it back on me.

Posted by woodenmeow
@CancerontheCusp-

We see each other 1 time every 3 weeks.
I told him I didn't like not seeing him for that long. He said him either but then put it back on me.

Doesn't sound like he's very serious.
Might have to put your foot down on this guy and/or get ready to move on.

And we only live 7 mins away from each other. 😢

@Canceronthecusp-

I tried to do that the other day. He was out of town and not at a spot to talk. So texting was the only option.
I am not sure what else I can do. I told him I would like to spend more time.
I did not want to push an ultimatium on him. No one likes this...
What else can you suggest?

@Canceronthecusp-

I tried to do that the other day. He was out of town and not at a spot to talk. So texting was the only option.
I am not sure what else I can do. I told him I would like to spend more time.
I did not want to push an ultimatium on him. No one likes this...
What else can you suggest?

Well if your not happy, you should tell him. If he doesn't clean up his act, then move on. Its not your fault he is behaving this way. Sounds like a personal issue for him

The cock came first,ah ha ha ha ha...no its not a sexual innuendo it's a fact,lol.

Posted by Scruffy

Posted by CancerOnTheCusp

Posted by Scruffy
Hmmm...inneresting

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Neither, because chickens don't have intimate relations with eggs.

Are you trying to kill me?

*can't stop laughing*

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Did I mention that sometimes asking questions of a Cancer male is like asking one of those "Magic 8 Balls" a question?

Posted by Scruffy
I am starting to see that.

One more...

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Yes they do. But only crackers made from soy or textured vegetable protein.
However, they have someone else shape the crackers into the form of pine nuts or hemplike shapes.

Generally they eat them on the sly when no one is looking. They tend to have bacon secreted away and break it out like speakeasies used to do with alcohol during Prohibition.

Posted by woodenmeow
@Canceronthecusp-

I tried to do that the other day. He was out of town and not at a spot to talk. So texting was the only option.
I am not sure what else I can do. I told him I would like to spend more time.
I did not want to push an ultimatium on him. No one likes this...
What else can you suggest?

Didn't say putting down an ultimatum.
But you want something he obviously isn't ready to give.
So, you either accept what you have currently, or take charge (for now).
He's going to go as far as you let him, and currently, he's walking on you.

Posted by CluelessCancer

Posted by bloodflood
best sex ever, what sign.

definitely not a Virgo.

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Im not even going to lie right now. The combination of your avatar with this comment...totally busted out laughing

Posted by CluelessCancer
unless he's one of those ratchet ass cancers that likes to save a ho.

What is going on today LOL! I swear every single post youve made here Ive been laughing my ass off at! Hilarious! I love your sense of humor!

Posted by Xin

Posted by CluelessCancer
unless he's one of those ratchet ass cancers that likes to save a ho.

What is going on today LOL! I swear every single post youve made here Ive been laughing my ass off at! Hilarious! I love your sense of humor!

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you just now noticed?

Mars Libra retrograde still on or something? 😛

Cusp - Gemini here! Question. Recently got cornered by a Cancer with a Pisces Moon. Im scared to death but also intrigued because he's everything I'm not. Yet again this is the story of my life attracting water signs. He's very nice though. Im aware of how emotional he can be. He has a few Leo placement's so he can be a little pushy and I think he likes girls to chase him. What advice can you give me to make HIM seek ME out. Even though he DID initiate the conversation first. Which is strange because I figured waters wouldn't be the once to make the first moves. This always happens. Doesn't matter they approach me even if it is all sideways and weird as hell. Cancer is awkward. Pisces is normally drunk. And Scorpio targets me from the back of the room.

@Xin Well with Cancers you gotta be direct with your feelings & always try to make us comfortable. If we aren't comfortable around you, we not going to intiate anything. We not coming out of the shell unless it's safe. Maybe your Cancer intiated the conversation because he was comfortable with you at 1st. You gotta shower him with love & affection at all times. Be a lil aggressive until he opens up more. Not too much, but enough to let him know you care. I think that's why they say Scorpio's are great for Cancer Men. You just gotta be more direct

@Xin Plus it shouldn't matter who starts the conversation 1st, as long as you two talk. Some of us Cancers are just not that comfortable in the beginning. We have to know you feel the same about us. Also we don't wanna scare you away either by being too aggressive. So give him some time. That goes for all the females here asking the same question lol. You gotta be a lil aggressive until we become comfortable around you 🙂

2B - See the thing is, is that I am SUPER aggressive and I have to tone it down. My sun and merc are both in Gemini but sit in the 8th house (Scorpio). Ive shown him a little bit of that. We had a great time yesterday but today I haven't heard shit! And now im getting mad. I know that females have a big problem with this like maybe we spent TOO much time yesterday? I have no idea. But I don't want to be all "funned" out at the beginning. Now im like great. Now I have to go do something else and NOT be excited about it. I really hate this shit. Like oh gee be excited but not TOO excited. I asked him what he's been up to he gave me a short answer. So now im like FUCK!

@Xin You need to Call him, & tell him your concerns. Tell him it's not ok what he is doing. Let him know how you care for him, but won't be accepting the wishy washy behavior. Theres the sweet loyal Cancers, & the ones who like to use your feelings against you. Don't alter who you are or your day because of someones immaturity.

@Xin If you can't get him on the phone to discuss this matter, then ask him out on a lunch date at his favorite place or buy his favorite meal ( Since Cancers like food ). Then tell him that this bothers. Sometimes you gotta treat some Cancers like a child. When we do something you don't like, or it is wrong, you gotta put us in our place. Tell us that we are wrong. Yes he may get upset at first, but later on he'll apologise & make it up. Basically, you gotta love us & disapline us like a mother would her own child lol. It'll work 😉

@ulalume,

girl u be killing me. I just busted out laughing at work!!!

Posted by 2BlackIndian3
@Xin You need to Call him, & tell him your concerns. Tell him it's not ok what he is doing. Let him know how you care for him, but won't be accepting the wishy washy behavior. Theres the sweet loyal Cancers, & the ones who like to use your feelings against you. Don't alter who you are or your day because of someones immaturity.

Well see it's only the first date really. I guess I shouldn't ask for much. I just feel almost ignored now. And even a few hours for Gemini is like an eternity of shunning especially if we are excited about someone new. He hasn't said much today at all. I feel like I should just not say anything period.

Well i say go with what your heart tells you. You know how you wanna be treated. Give him a day or 2days to contact you. If he does or don't, Call him & tell him what's going on. I would pay attention to his actions. If everything isn't flowing smoothly together in terms of you guys energy, than maybe this crab isn't the one. Like i said, give him some time like 2days. Go enjoy your day, & quit worrying about something that isn't your fault. You aren't the problem here at all, see 🙂.

Well then Ill just have to mirror his actions. He wont talk? Then I wont talk. He ignores? I ignore. And ill be pissed while doing it. When he does talk ill keep it brief and short just like he did. Game on.

Or just tell him what he is doing is wrong. But it's on you. If he was the one for you, you shouldn't have to change who are just get along with someone. But then it's only been one date & you two talked & hunged out yesterday. So maybe he is busy today. I'm sure he'll call. If not, you should just call him.

Is friendship the path for romance or do you just jump in?

If it depends on the other person, please provide a scenario.

Well you start off as friends to get to know each other than you move on the relationship part. Anyways her situation is simple, either she can deal with his behavior & tell him how it's effecting her. Or, she can move on. She's having to change who she is as a person just to get him to talk. You shouldn't have to do that if there's real compatibility. Lol this thread making my head hurt :/

True I shouldnt. I feel like im constantly having to do shit just to try to get along with water signs. I like you waters I do, but dating you is so difficult sometimes. Fuck it. NEXT! LOL! I don't want to change you know I like to just be me but it infuriates me beyond all reason when someone who I had a great time with pretty much shuns me the next day and hell no hes not busy I know what hes doing right now. Busy is an ER doctor. Busy is a defense attorney. Busy is Richard Branson. Hes none of these.

@Damnata lets not make this thread complicated. Cancers are easy to love once you get pass the shell. You gotta have patience until the crab becomes more comfortable. Be loving & supportive. Check on the person a lil, to make sure they ok. If he cares, he will come around.

I usually deal well with Cardinals but I don't have experience with Cancers.

@Xin well i apologise for your Cancer's behavior. I promise you, not all of us are this way 😢. I don't think he's the typical Cancer man you read about on websites. Usually, we can't get enough of our partners love & attention. I know im like this. I personally think, you just met a bad guy period. Real mature Cancers don't behave like that. Sorry about that

Well that's nice of you to apologize for the rest of your sign. Im sure you arent all like that. But maybe it's just his age. He is younger than me. So thats what I get LOL!

@Damnata well maybe those bad Cancers have air or leo placements. I'm a watery Cancer. Like i said, if a Cancer really cares about you & is comfortable around you, you will know it. His actions alone will show it. He'll want to be around you & talk a lot. Some dudes just don't care you know

weee crab passport. I like the idea of that 😄

Yeah, I do that but I was thinking Cancers go with the flow more than I do.

@Xin maybe he isn't mature, or plainly don't care. It's not your fault he turned out like this lol. So don't let it ruin your day 🙂. You'll be blessed with someone better soon enough. It's definitely not your loss. He's the one missing out

I like this thread, learning from other's questions.

So where do I apply for visas?

Posted by 2BlackIndian3
@Damnata well maybe those bad Cancers have air or leo placements. I'm a watery Cancer. Like i said, if a Cancer really cares about you & is comfortable around you, you will know it. His actions alone will show it. He'll want to be around you & talk a lot. Some dudes just don't care you know

Actually he has Leo placements :\

@Damnata lol you you already applied. Your venus is in Cancer, so technically you love just like a Cancer would. You are always welcomed here. Hopefully we can teach you more about us. We Crabs are very loving, well apparently not all lol. But majority of us are kool.

@Xin Well that explains everything lol. He isn't the typical Cancer. He probably has either a Leo Moon or Leo Venus. At the end of day, his behavior is wrong. He's messing up a good thing. I wouldn't worry about it. Don't let yourself get unhappy or think it's your fault, cause it's not. Just let it go.

I AM CLINGING TO THE CRAB PASSPORT FOR DEAR LIFE.

😄

But yes, I'm obsessed with taking care of people. If you drop by my house, you will be fed even if you don't want to. It's not up for discussion.

@Damnata Well you already ok with me lol. I'm the same way if someone comes to my house. I love to cook & bake. Food is probably the quickest way to a Cancers heart, Kindness too 😉. You don't need a passport here. You are greatly accepted.

I like taking care of people, but it's nice to have that role reversed sometimes. It's nice to be cared for every once in awhile

Posted by Xin

Posted by 2BlackIndian3
@Xin You need to Call him, & tell him your concerns. Tell him it's not ok what he is doing. Let him know how you care for him, but won't be accepting the wishy washy behavior. Theres the sweet loyal Cancers, & the ones who like to use your feelings against you. Don't alter who you are or your day because of someones immaturity.

Well see it's only the first date really. I guess I shouldn't ask for much. I just feel almost ignored now. And even a few hours for Gemini is like an eternity of shunning especially if we are excited about someone new. He hasn't said much today at all. I feel like I should just not say anything period.

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Patience, young Padawan. The ways of the Cancer are a mystery even unto themselves.
I've dated a few Gems, and its an interesting dynamic.
He's probably sorting out his feelings, especially if he's feeling something for you.
I would give it a day or two and then contact him. If you thought things went well, tell him. Also ask him if he thought it went well and you would like to go out again if he's interested.

Posted by silentkiller
The thing abut cancer moods, is that There is nothing you ca do about it, right? 😉
If he doen't feel like sharing or even just talking, he simply wont. Yes? No matter who asks.

Well, they do come around. But yes, for the most part if they're in that shell, or sorting things out, they aren't very communicative.
Sounds bad, but they'll share at some point.

Posted by Damnata
Is friendship the path for romance or do you just jump in?

If it depends on the other person, please provide a scenario.

LOL.
It depends.
I think the better relationships at least for me is where they develop out of a friendship.
But I have had a few where the mutual attraction is so strong that despite the best efforts of crab caution, I jump in. Some of those went pretty good as well.

And here is where I'll hand things off to my erstwhile Crab men compatriots and just sit back and read.