Ask a Cancer Male (Page 2)

Posted by CancerOnTheCusp

Posted by xtina
@Canceronthecusp... I know my Cancer is feeling insecure lately about our LDR... I'm pretty sure it's because I'm going to Vegas this weekend with my family for my sisters 21st (literally whole family mom, cousins the whole shebang) how do I make him feel better.

He hasn't said anything about it or even been mopey about it... But I can just tell by the way we communicate it's bothering him.

Should I leave him alone or should I try to make him feel more secure by reassuring him i.e. texting and calling more?

Well, I wouldn't do more.
Might want to send him a quick text letting him know you miss (or thinking about) him while you're in Vegas

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Cool! Thanks 🙂

@Canceronthecusp -

He texts me and calls me from time to time, but we have not seen/spent any physical time together in three weeks.
Its like he checks in but thats it.
Yesterday - he texted me Hello and called me his pet name.
So I just don't get it.

Posted by woodenmeow
@Canceronthecusp -

He texts me and calls me from time to time, but we have not seen/spent any physical time together in three weeks.
Its like he checks in but thats it.
Yesterday - he texted me Hello and called me his pet name.
So I just don't get it.

He is "maintaining" you.
You have to give him a kick in the rear.

@ Canceronthecusp-

How best to do that?
An example. First time dating a cancer man... Little bit of a learning curve.

I don't know if this was asked :: how long do you hold grudges for?

Posted by woodenmeow
@ Canceronthecusp-

How best to do that?
An example. First time dating a cancer man... Little bit of a learning curve.

Call him on it.
Tell him what you said here about 3 weeks with no physical contact just texting.
Its not like he is in another country.
Tell him you feel you're being maintained and you would like to see more of him.

Posted by aquapiscescusp
I don't know if this was asked :: how long do you hold grudges for?

Specifically for me, less than one hands worth of individuals are on a permalist, all related to betrayal either in a business sense or relatioship sense. Wouldn't pee on them if they were on fire.

Typically I don't hold grudges. I never forget, but I'm not one to bludgeon another over the head time after time.
The aformentioned cases excepted.

@Canceronthecusp-
Thanks. I just texted him a few mins ago. I will tell him.
Let you know how he responds... 🙂

Posted by Scruffy
I have a question...

How come they don't make mouse flavored cat food?

Because mice taste like crap, even to cats.

Posted by Scruffy
I have another question...

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?

Because that setting is made for the English and people who like to torture pigeons in the park.

I think in Damnata's case the guy sounds pretty comfortable with her.

In DMV's case he might still be a little unsure.

Posted by Scruffy
And one more...

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

They don't want to be embarrassed by calling attention to the wet spot because they held off going when they probably should have.

I haven't heard back from my cancer guy.
Question: I know that Cancer's do not like game playing, but he is doing feels like game playing.
One foot on the banana peel and the other with me. Dont you think?

Posted by woodenmeow
I haven't heard back from my cancer guy.
Question: I know that Cancer's do not like game playing, but he is doing feels like game playing.
One foot on the banana peel and the other with me. Dont you think?

In the end, you have to go with your gut feeling.
I'm only offering my opinion.

One word of advice, though: texting and emailing things to the person you are in a relationship with is generally IMHO not a good thing. Either talk to them in person or via phone. Things in text and email can be taken out of context too easily.

Posted by Scruffy
I'm sorry, one more if I may. NO man should be able to answer this...

What do women want?

I don't think women can answer that question either.

Posted by DMV
i could be barking up the wrong tree.

Girl, all I ever do is barking up the wrong trees.

Except with Aries Men, you can just breathe in their presence and they take that as interest. Suits my cluelessness.

Posted by CancerOnTheCusp
I think in Damnata's case the guy sounds pretty comfortable with her.

In DMV's case he might still be a little unsure.

Yeah, this is worrying to me actually since I met him 3 times and I feel like I've known him all my life.

Whenever stuff like that went down with other signs, I was firmly in their friendzone.

Posted by Scruffy

Posted by CancerOnTheCusp

Posted by Scruffy
I'm sorry, one more if I may. NO man should be able to answer this...

What do women want?

I don't think women can answer that question either.

I stand corrected. You did in fact answer it.

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The alternate is: What do woman want? Answer: What they can't have.

Posted by Scruffy

Posted by CancerOnTheCusp

The alternate is: What do woman want? Answer: What they can't have.

I think you got it right the first time since we always change our minds about what we want we can't answer it either.

When we want what we can't have, we change our minds about wanting it in the first place.

No alternate answer needed. You got it right on the first shot. Quite impressive.

click to expand

*bows*
I was getting worried.
This thread was starting to devolve into any other "my Cancer man" thread here.

BTW-unless you're English, don't use the high setting on your toaster.

Posted by Scruffy
@CancerOTC

You're pretty cool. I (almost) feel bad now throwing you under the bus in the Cave..

Its that hard shell. Although those tread marks messed up the shiny wax job.

Posted by CancerOnTheCusp

Posted by MoonArtist
Being Cancer male, what is your biggest pet peeve/complaint about Cancer females?

Too many of the Cancer females I've known demanded a higher standard of conduct for me than themselves ( simply put: hypocrisy)

Never to too large a degree for the most part, but they certainly didn't like being called on it.

Probably close behind it would be a stubborn streak that you would expect from say....a Taurus

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What higher standard, exactly?
What, you Cancer men don't have the same stubborn streak? 😉

Posted by duchessedenemours
Do you need protection from predatory women? 😄

Nah... Unless those kitties got sharp claws.

Posted by duchessedenemours
Do you need protection from predatory women? 😄

I've mentioned it a couple of times on these boards I've had stalkers in the past.
So, the answer in that sense of predatory is "yes".

Posted by MoonArtist

Posted by CancerOnTheCusp

Posted by MoonArtist
Being Cancer male, what is your biggest pet peeve/complaint about Cancer females?

Too many of the Cancer females I've known demanded a higher standard of conduct for me than themselves ( simply put: hypocrisy)

Never to too large a degree for the most part, but they certainly didn't like being called on it.

Probably close behind it would be a stubborn streak that you would expect from say....a Taurus

What higher standard, exactly?
What, you Cancer men don't have the same stubborn streak? 😉

click to expand

Simple example:
Her: "Don't eat in my new car"
Me: "Ok"
A few weeks later....
Me: "Hey! What's with this ketchup stain and salt crystals? Didn't you say not to eat in the car?"
Her: "Yes. But I was late and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah."
Me: "Stop at this drive thru"
Her: "Why?"
Me: "Because I'm about to get a large chili. Let's take that extra bumpy route on the way to ______."

As far as stubborn--only when being pushed in a direction I don't want to go.

@CancerOTC

I was dating this cancer guy that I broke up with. I broke up with him in January. I notice since we broke up he keeps in touch with me through texting. He would text just to see how me and my kids were doing so I started to do the same. I really like him and I felt like keeping in touch is not doing anything for me. If I tell him I miss him he says he misses me too. I decided to stop checking in. Sometimes he apologizes for not checking in sooner. I notice he checks in with me weekly.

I am confused by his actions. I don't want to be mean but I want to ask him why does he check in. I wish things were different but I'm okay with what it is.

Why is he doing this? I'm a Taurus

Posted by Sweets681
@CancerOTC
I don't want to be mean but I want to ask him why does he check in. I wish things were different but I'm okay with what it is.

If the break up was amicable, he probably was genuinely interested to see how things were doing.
But when you tell him you miss him, you are giving him mixed signals, especially if you were the one initiating the breakup.
I think you better clear the air and set some ground rules (mainly for yourself). If you want to keep things on a friend basis, then be polite. Don't give out signals like "I miss you", that's keeping things from full closure if the romantic relationship is over.
Be blunt and clear that things need to stay on a friends basis.
Sounds you are not completely done with whatever relationship you had. Better address that in yourself if you keep communicating with him.

The break up wasn't amicable and you're dead on about how I feel. We never discussed being friends he just continued to correspond with me. I'm not sure if he just needs someone to talk to because he also shared his personal business with me.

You think he's just being nice by keeping in touch? Should I just stop responding to his texts?

Posted by Sweets681
The break up wasn't amicable and you're dead on about how I feel. We never discussed being friends he just continued to correspond with me. I'm not sure if he just needs someone to talk to because he also shared his personal business with me.

You think he's just being nice by keeping in touch? Should I just stop responding to his texts?

If the breakup was not amicable, I don't understand why you're still communicating with him, aside from still trying to address your own unresolved feelings.

Feelings aside, if you consider your relationship with him done make it clear to him.
And if he keeps initiating texts after that, ignore.

Continuing to communicate on anything other than a polite distant basis is probably more harmful than making the break clean.

You're absolutely correct. Thank you.

Posted by Rabbit
Do Cancer makes struggle with self esteem like Scorpios do?

Translation: Are you a whore?

Posted by CancerOnTheCusp

Posted by MoonArtist

Posted by CancerOnTheCusp

Posted by MoonArtist
Being Cancer male, what is your biggest pet peeve/complaint about Cancer females?

Too many of the Cancer females I've known demanded a higher standard of conduct for me than themselves ( simply put: hypocrisy)

Never to too large a degree for the most part, but they certainly didn't like being called on it.

Probably close behind it would be a stubborn streak that you would expect from say....a Taurus

What higher standard, exactly?
What, you Cancer men don't have the same stubborn streak? 😉

Simple example:
Her: "Don't eat in my new car"
Me: "Ok"
A few weeks later....
Me: "Hey! What's with this ketchup stain and salt crystals? Didn't you say not to eat in the car?"
Her: "Yes. But I was late and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah."
Me: "Stop at this drive thru"
Her: "Why?"
Me: "Because I'm about to get a large chili. Let's take that extra bumpy route on the way to ______."

As far as stubborn--only when being pushed in a direction I don't want to go.

click to expand

We don't all do that double standard any more than you cancer men do. 😛

Oh, that's how I am with stubborn. The more I get pushed the more I refuse to budge.

Posted by raerain
How do I handle my cancer boyfriend's mood swings?

WhatsApp msgs in the morning.
"I love you so much. We are great together. cant wait to see you"

By noon,
"I am getting mentally fucked up. look what you're doing to me."

By evening,
"I wana marry you soon. Do you wana move in together?"

At night,
"hey there are hot chicks on Okcupid. do you wana have a threesome?" 😢

I get exhausted. I feel like a man with a woman. What do I do?

Drop him. He sounds like he has issues.

Lol CancerOTC, hows it going man?? Its BlackIndian, remember me. I see you doing a Q&A on for us Cancers lol. I didn't know this was one of your jobs besides making beer. Well hopefully I can help some too. Maybe a voice of reasoning

Posted by Scruffy
Oh good...you're still answering.

I have a question...

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the morning?

All snowplow drivers are required to have either a sled and dogs, or a snowmobile.
The more physically fit drivers prefer to use skis or snowshoes.

Posted by 2BlackIndian3
Lol CancerOTC, hows it going man?? Its BlackIndian, remember me. I see you doing a Q&A on for us Cancers lol. I didn't know this was one of your jobs besides making beer. Well hopefully I can help some too. Maybe a voice of reasoning

Yeah, I remember you 🙂

Well, I don't plan on making this a full time job. Especially if the ratio of "my Cancer guy" type questions exceed actual Cancer man interest questions. We have enough "my Cancer guy" threads as it is.

Did you just sign back on?

Yeah, but i couldn't use my old name anymore. I left because of those stupid "Why my Cancer man this" or "Why my Cancer man doing that" it gets tiring. Also a couple members here got on my bad side & really hurt my feelings a little. So i felt it was best to go away for a while. I wouldn't get too caught up in that relationship drama stuff here. It really Fuqz with our emotions. Well it does to me. That's we retreat to our shells

I saw you mentioned me in the "Cancer men" thread awhile back when i went through my bookmark websites. I really appreciate what you & Clueless Cancer said about me =). I'll do my best not to let people get me down. I'm still working on the sensitive side of me. It's tough though. You & Clueless Cancer always been nice. Also ScorpioFish lol. I just want our thread to be more fun & less drama. I'm here to stay, if i don't get on much, it's because of school & life stuff lol.

@aquavita well for one i wouldn't listen to astrology compatibility. I learned the hard way that it can make you verry paranoid. You can get along with anyone as long is your energy flow smoothly together; & that you can always be yourself. You shouldn't have to change all of your great qualities just meet an expectation. If you like Cancerian men, then stand by it. Don't let what an random astrologer say dictate your relationships. Find you a good Cancerian man who is worth your love & treat him good. It's that simple 😉

Posted by CancerOnTheCusp
I think in Damnata's case the guy sounds pretty comfortable with her.

In DMV's case he might still be a little unsure.

yes, thats fair. Im happy he hasnt called me a stalker yet. Since were facebook friends, ive been doing some subliminal messages. I think he has also.

I went through his posting history (all of it since inception) and he never talks about the class we are in. Now he talks about it.

He definitely loves his mother and food.

Posted by xMoonMan

Posted by DMV

Posted by Damnata

Posted by DMV
what is his merc Damnata? He doesnt come across secretive? I ask mine like 4 questions and i got 1 good sold answer lol. he asked some questions of me and i was very forthcoming.

Gem.

He talks like crazy with me, really secretive with others.

wow. interesting. Im getting the opposite. This cancer crush of mine is a merc in gemini also and i dont get alot of conversation from him. hes very brief.

One of my co-workers is a Cancer with Gemini Mercury & Gemini Moon.
He doesn't talk much, all he does is focus on what ever he is doing at the time, usually something on his computer, occasionally he'll swing around in his chair, say a few words, like he wants to join the convo, then, all of a sudden, he just stops, swings back to his computer and goes quiet again.

Several times I have asked him a question directly (work related) addresseed him by name and he will simply ignore me, I'll be looking directly at him, one or two meters away...nothing....no response....like he's in his own little world inside his head.
It's actually a bit rude when he's like that.

On the upside, he's actually an ok bloke and is always willing to offer help, he's a tech head with computers, anything computer related his mind is "super quick"!! It's his forte.
The dude can type at like a million words a minute...lol....smoke and fire start coming off the keyboard he's that fast.....lol

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yeah this gives me some hope that hes just being shy. I think the saggis are right, this is going to be a long road to the bedroom.

Posted by miha
question for cancer men from an aqua woman: can you define emotional security?

thank you

That's a tough one.
Ever give someone the keys to your house while you go on vacation, and asking them to check in from time to time to make sure the pipes haven't burst or the AC is still running?
Emotional security is very similar. You trust a person with your thoughts, your hopes, your fears, your eccentricities, and they accept them for what they are.
Like that person watching your house, the person you trust doesn't decide to host a party and trash the place while you're gone, nor do they gossip to everyone else about what they saw while checking out your bedroom or bathroom. Nothing is stolen. They may make some observations when they hand you your keys after you return in good faith, but leave it at that.

That's my shot.

@miha well emotional stability is kinda the opposite of financial stability. Now it can mean different things to other Cancers, so i can only speak for myself or a similar Cancer like me. Emotional stability is knowing that i can trust my partner with all my feelings, secrets, & personal thoughts. It's something that you know no matter what happens, you'll always be there for me & never leave. No matter how many disagreements, there's, you still got love for me. Basically, someone who is always honest & considerate of my feelings. So this is my idea of emotional stability in a relationship or friendship. Like i said before, this may not apply to all Cancers; but it does to me.

In a relationship, a persons money is not what keeps me. It's how well they treat me. I can get my own money anyways.

lol the chicken. How else would there be an egg. Unless God put the egg on the earth 1st. So it can be more than one answer haha. A big headache too

lol i said maybe the egg could have came 1st, but ohh well. It's all good

Posted by Scruffy
Hmmm...inneresting

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Neither, because chickens don't have intimate relations with eggs.

When I ask my cancer if we can spend more time togeher. He puts it back on me.. Saying you are the stranger when he not asked me to spend time either?
He always seems to shove any responsibly on to me

Posted by woodenmeow
When I ask my cancer if we can spend more time togeher. He puts it back on me.. Saying you are the stranger when he not asked me to spend time either?
He always seems to shove any responsibly on to me

Are you asking a question or making a statement?

@Canceronthecusp-

Is was suppose to be a question.

@silentkiller I never withdraw from anyone unpurpose. If i do, it's because that person said something to hurt my feelings. Maybe your Cancer is going through something. Dont try to give him advice. Try to console him, & cuddle. Let em know it's ok. But if you treating us bad, or insensitive to our feelings, expect the Cancer to go into their shell.