Does my cancer man love me ?

I am lawyer, married but on the verge of separation due to my hubbys abusive habit. I met this cancer man of 35 years unmarried some 8 months back, wherein he offered me partnership in his law firm. We started to discuss, talk, chat, call very often. Suddenly after 4 months he restricted all his communications citing work pressure and office issues. We meet once a month and calls are also very limited though he texts me everyday to know how am i. Recently i had big fight with my husband which i told him and he showed more affection post that and advised me to leave my hubby. He always says he adores and like me but not used the word love. I love him and want to marry him. He used to send good morning message everyday as soon as he gets up. One week back i stopped texting him as i was sorting my own issues but to my surprise he also stopped connecting with me. We saw each other online in whatsapp but neither of us pinged each other. Today i sent an sms stating i am sorting my issues and that he always runs in my mind. No response still, he generally respond when he is free.

Kindly opine whats going on in his mind about me...does he love me ?

I am a scorpion, we had intense kiss but no sex.

Thanks for your suggestion but wanted to get an idea what is he thinking about me/us now ? He agrees he is into relationship with me and says we both should not hurt each other. He loves his mom a lot and does not hang out with anybody citing time constraint. He generally meet in his office or in my car.

My hubby hits me in drunken state, abuses verbally often, uses all hate language. Arielle83 yes you are right, i need someone to love me and i thought with time i will get this cancer man to love me.

What did you mean by "Why wouldn't he get off on that power trip?

Hi MiZLeo,

Appreciate your view point. Caner man and i dont work together and its all through moble, meet once in a month outside in office or car. He had offered me partnership which i rejected. I have already decided to walk away from hubby whether cancer man is there or not. It going to be difficult with a kid but i am sure i will be at peace at least.

Last week i was angry with his late response and told him to LEAVE ME, for which he said he cant leave me. So iam confused MiZLeo. Want clarity. I had blocked him on whatsapp due to his erratic behavior which he came to know and not happy about.

@Vari sometimes when people experience traumatic situations or abuse and then come out of those circumstances the whole 'light at the end of the tunnel' syndrome gives everything a rosy glow. Including the last branch you grabbed on to as you fell outta that particular tree.
But you don't stay on that branch forever.
This Cancer man has been lovely to you and it's part of your transitional period emotionally, I get that.
But it's very likely he is not 'The One' but maybe just Mr RightNow...

You would be far more at ease if you focused on getting thru your divorce and gaining some independence and perhaps a little space to heal for a while.
Not investing so much in this particular person...
Just a thought 🙂

Thanks Wagtail, yeah i think i should follow what you suggested. but i will miss him in life as i thought i can spend some good time with a quality man as he very informed and has wide knowledge.

I was fully concentrating on handling my other issues so i didnt contact him at all for one week though he caught me online couple of times. Cancer man also kept silence and didnt initiate any contact. Today when i texted him, he didnt respond. Do you think he is angry with me ?

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by Vari
My hubby hits me in drunken state, abuses verbally often, uses all hate language. Arielle83 yes you are right, i need someone to love me and i thought with time i will get this cancer man to love me.

What did you mean by "Why wouldn't he get off on that power trip?

He's the equivalent of a woman who goes after married men. They do it for power trip, ego and lack of insecurity.

If you're in a physically and emotionally abusuve relationship, your husband is going to go postal on you if you're sneaking around.

Better gtfo if he's hitting you rather than finding another man.

click to expand

this.


definitely be very very afraid if your husband is already an abusive toxic man. he will be the type to beat your ass, and put you in the hospital.

and the guy who is power tripping isn't any better.

he may be wanting to feel "protective" towards you, but he's not seeing straight. If he really cared about your well being, he would advise you to leave your husband and find an anonymous group where women are being abused, to share your stories and that you're not alone.

most men would not even want to get involved. but I see that he wants to be a knight in shining armour. It's commendable, but being all intimate and passionate is not the way to heal your soul. It's just jumping from the frying pan into the fire.

it's really hard for you I can tell to be alone, and you want to cling on to a man who is a ROCK and someone who is a lighthouse in the stormy turbulent sea. It makes you want to find someone who will be a safe harbor for you.

@Lisabethur8

Cancer man did advise me to leave my hubby with immediate effect and suddenly started showering more affection post that day. He is very reserved guy and often says he misses me, wants to see me but work and attending to a dependent mom doesnt allow him. He can get any girl if he wants, but on asking why me, he says he feels connected to me and cant leave me.

I really want to make this relationship work...but dont know how to make him fall in love with me.

Presently concentrating on separation.

Posted by Vari
Thanks Wagtail, yeah i think i should follow what you suggested. but i will miss him in life as i thought i can spend some good time with a quality man as he very informed and has wide knowledge.

No problem Vari.
There are more men just like that out there, keep that in mind 🙂

Posted by Vari
@Lisabethur8

Cancer man did advise me to leave my hubby with immediate effect and suddenly started showering more affection post that day. He is very reserved guy and often says he misses me, wants to see me but work and attending to a dependent mom doesnt allow him. He can get any girl if he wants, but on asking why me, he says he feels connected to me and cant leave me.

I really want to make this relationship work...but dont know how to make him fall in love with me.

Presently concentrating on separation.

you can't make a man fall in love with you though.

some men "SAVE" women but they end up falling in love with someone else.

I think he just wants you to be safe.

it's his duty and responsibility as a man and the protectiveness he feels about you to want to keep you from harm.

EDIT -

basically what i'm saying is...when the FOG is gone, and the reality sets in when you are finally living together OR committed, he will see the things he may not like you as a person, individual, which spells incompatibility.

he was only there to SAVE you, and once you are saved, how long before the incompatibility sets in and he starts looking for another maiden to save??

When someone loves you, you don't have to ask, because not only will they tell you, they'll show you.
When someone wants to be with you, they will be. They won't make up excuses for why they can't right now.

I'll give you an example: the Cancer man I was seeing told me he loved me and wanted to be with me, but there was always some excuse for why we couldn't be together yet, and he treated me like a mistress.
My boyfriend, on the other hand, is also a Cancer, but he made me his girlfriend the moment I said I was ready, and he treats me like one.

When you want to know how someone feels about you, look at how they treat you. Actions really do speak louder than words.

@Goldigold : I have initiated the process of separation and determined to take divorce. I have fallen for this man, what is my fault ? I have shared details pertaining to my life with this cancer man to know each other better. He has also shared his side of family problems. We like each other's preswence in our life. We both are lawyers and plan to work together in future, though i had struck down his initial offer.

@ Keres i agree if anyone wants they can take out time, this is the main confusion i have because i have asked him several times to think if he wants to be with me, he says yes everytime. Also i have told him several times if he wants he can walk out of my life id he likes some girl. He responded saying "dont make me angry Vari" and there is no girl.

I really dont know how to go about this guy.

Honestly, I think it would be in your best interest to leave the abusive husband (I've been there too), and cut this guy off while you focus on yourself for awhile. You deserve some TLC, and if you're the only one that's going to make sure you get it, then so be it.
Bottom line: regardless of what a man SAYS, when he wants to be with you, he WILL.