FWB with Cancer man

That's a NEGATIVE!
I am so sorry, but he does not seem to be interested in you. And more than likely, you are not the only one he is with (having sex with). When a cancer man is interested in you, there is no break period, he will call/text you often and will see you and make time for you. For some reason it doesn't seem as though he is taking you seriously. Either way, don't call this dating.... It's far from that. you are just an FWB with him and that's it.

He is using his ex-wife as an excuse to not have anything further with you. Trust and believe, when a cancer man finds "the one" they will move on to new love so quickly.

You tried to pressure him into a dating relationship with you and he decided to spend even less time with you, HAHA, this dude is a character!

Cancer men are not direct. We are not direct with our communication. We are VERY passive aggressive. The proof is in the pudding with us... Meaning our ACTIONS. We will say anything to not have to hurt your feelings, but if our actions say otherwise, TRUST OUR ACTIONS FIRST!! NOT OUR WORDS. We are very empathetic and sympathetic people. We don't like to hurt people, nor have their pain reflected back on us. But we also won't do something we don't have our heart into.

Your best bet will be to just move on to someone else who actually wants to be with you. Don't waste your time on this dude. He does not want you. Sorry 😢

Posted by Geminihope
I don't know. It was really obvious he was more into me than I was into him. He pushed to make our times spend together to be something more than sex. I would bring it back around to sex and suggest we just have a ex all night and he would always say "ok but do you want to do anything else like go out?" It wasn't until 5 months in of this that I said I had strong feelings for him that he started pulling back and not making an effort to see me.

I don't think he is a typical Cancer. He is very passive aggressive with me. That is how he has been the entire time. Anytime we got into a disagreement, he would say he has to go to bed and we could talk later but then he would take one last jab to make some remark.

He also got very jealous over a photo that I posted on Instagram and he that turned into an argument how it was disrespectful of me to post that if we are suppose to be dating.

Did you not ready ANYTHING I stated above?!?!?
CANCERS ARE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE!!!
We are also very possessive people as well. We may not see a future with you, but we still think we own you until it's over. You'd be a fool to think you're the only one.

*read

Delusional

He said he is so pissed off and I have never seen him this angry and he doesn't want me to see him like this. He said he wouldntbe good company and apologized.

What is up with this character text limit?

I have had psychic readings with a reader that has been completely accurate about him and my ex this entire time. And I have had other readings recommended by friends and they all say the same that he really does like me but he has been so emotionally damaged by his ex that he will never have a healthy relatonship again and my reader said he will never commit long term to me.

Posted by Curiousram
funny seeing a gemini getting attached instead of the cancer, let him go hes using you and not worth your time

Maybe its my experience with Gems, but I'm not surprised.

I agree though, I don't see things going beyond FWB, and even that seems to be fading away.

Posted by CancerOnTheCusp

Posted by Curiousram
funny seeing a gemini getting attached instead of the cancer, let him go hes using you and not worth your time

Maybe its my experience with Gems, but I'm not surprised.

I agree though, I don't see things going beyond FWB, and even that seems to be fading away.

click to expand

+1

Hope you got your answer now.... SMH

Erm, are you sure it was attraction and not him being a douche with double standards who was being possessive?

I've had FWBs who got all possessive but weren't interested in a relationship. Some guys want their cake and to eat it too, which is what this guy is doing.

Posted by capricornmoon
You told him you slept with your ex. Why? That was info he didn't need to know, but you told him in hopes of manipulating him. Once you manipulated him, he played along, but only to get his needs met. Cancer men care about two things, money and themselves. Everything else is disposable. Not to mention they are just as manipulative as geminis if not more. Another thing, they perceive hurt, whether it was intended or not, they react in diabolical and twisted fashion, much like Cap men, by slowly torturing you. He made up his mind about you the minute you told him about your ex.

Very true. And given the fact that he won't traditionally date her and she hasn't seen his children and they are been "together" for 5 months now..... Not good. You are just a piece of azz in his book. Sorry boo.
I have been on and off with my cancer man for a year and a half and he is 7 years younger then me. From the beginning I met his family and he calls my children his children and every chance he gets off from work and school, he is with me. This guy is not interested in you. Just move on. Once we (Cancers) make up in our minds that we aren't interested or don't see a future with someone, it's pretty hard to impossible to change our minds.

I told him about sleeping with my ex because I am honest and we made a verbal agreement that if we slept with anyone else that we would tell each other right away because we are not using protection. I most certainly did not use it to be manipulative. In fact, during that time I did not want a relationship with him. I didn't see him as anything more beyond a friend. It was another 2 months after that incident where I started to have feelings for him.

Posted by CluelessCancer
The sleeping with X thing would hurt me so badly, i wouldn't' be able to ever trust you again, in his mind you're his. You remind him of his EX, who can't be trusted, if she cheated on him, and here you are sleeping with your EX...



i do think he likes you, but timing is everything, i would give him space, and work on myself....

I think this is what did it but it's so weird because after I told him, he did not treat me any differently. He continued texting me everyday and still asking me to do things outside of sex. He even took me shopping and bought me a gift (not sex related) and fwb just don't do that.

It seriously changed when I told him I cared for him more than a friend and wanted to take things to the next step.

Posted by Geminihope
I told him about sleeping with my ex because I am honest and we made a verbal agreement that if we slept with anyone else that we would tell each other right away because we are not using protection. I most certainly did not use it to be manipulative. In fact, during that time I did not want a relationship with him. I didn't see him as anything more beyond a friend. It was another 2 months after that incident where I started to have feelings for him.

Now it sounds like the opposite for him has happened. At first, he saw you as more, but you kept pushing him away. Now he doesn't even have time for you and you're the one wanting more. That's how us Cancers are. In the beginning we are all into you and head over heels. In this time the ball is in your court. You had the opportunity to build upon something more with him but you chose not to because you were not ready.

Well, for him, the smoking mirrors of "lust" are gone and he sees you for who you really are (in his eyes). The confession about you sleeping with another man was only a damper too. He doesn't seem to want more with you. He's made a complete change with you from how he was in the beginning to how he is now.

Can you change that— Possibly. If he really does like you, then do the following and what the reaction will be:
1. Refrain from having sex with him; tell him that you want your relationship with him to deepen and become closer.
2. Stick to your guns. Meaning no sex with him nor anyone else until you get the answer you are looking for (answer being if he wants to create a bond with you, or just screw you).
3. NEVER EVER tell him or ANY man what you do with another man. That is a known NO-NO in the dating world!
4. Express to him that you would like some consistency moving forward. Meaning he calls you more often, you two plan dates in advance, etc...
5. Always remember, ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!! Never judge cancer man off of what he says, but what he does. If he really likes you and takes you seriously, then you will see a significant change. If not, then nothing will change and you'll know that you need to move on.

Good Luck 🙂

Posted by cancergoddess143

Posted by Geminihope
I told him about sleeping with my ex because I am honest and we made a verbal agreement that if we slept with anyone else that we would tell each other right away because we are not using protection. I most certainly did not use it to be manipulative. In fact, during that time I did not want a relationship with him. I didn't see him as anything more beyond a friend. It was another 2 months after that incident where I started to have feelings for him.

Now it sounds like the opposite for him has happened. At first, he saw you as more, but you kept pushing him away. Now he doesn't even have time for you and you're the one wanting more. That's how us Cancers are. In the beginning we are all into you and head over heels. In this time the ball is in your court. You had the opportunity to build upon something more with him but you chose not to because you were not ready.

Well, for him, the smoking mirrors of "lust" are gone and he sees you for who you really are (in his eyes). The confession about you sleeping with another man was only a damper too. He doesn't seem to want more with you. He's made a complete change with you from how he was in the beginning to how he is now.

Can you change that— Possibly. If he really does like you, then do the following and what the reaction will be:
1. Refrain from having sex with him; tell him that you want your relationship with him to deepen and become closer.
2. Stick to your guns. Meaning no sex with him nor anyone else until you get the answer you are looking for (answer being if he wants to create a bond with you, or just screw you).
3. NEVER EVER tell him or ANY man what you do with another man. That is a known NO-NO in the dating world!
4. Express to him that you would like some consistency moving forward. Meaning he calls you more often, you two plan dates in advance, etc...
5. Always remember, ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!! Never judge cancer man off of what he says, but what he does. If he really likes you and takes you seriously, then you will see a significant change. If not, then nothing will change and you'll know that you need to move on.

Good Luck 🙂

click to expand

Thank you!!! Really that is what I want I am interested in is how to go about things and I think you have som

Darn the quote was too long.

You made some really good points and I can refrain from the sex part. Since as you said cancers are very indirect. He isn't direct at all about sex. He will just wave it out there with heavy sexual talk and waits for me to be direct to ask him if he is free on x day.

I know today was such a bad outcome for him with his ex wife failing to pay her half of a medical procedure one of his kids had this morning. So I know he is in his shell. Do I contact him in a day or two of he hasn't said anything or just leave him alone for him to come to me?

Posted by Geminihope
Darn the quote was too long.

You made some really good points and I can refrain from the sex part. Since as you said cancers are very indirect. He isn't direct at all about sex. He will just wave it out there with heavy sexual talk and waits for me to be direct to ask him if he is free on x day.

I know today was such a bad outcome for him with his ex wife failing to pay her half of a medical procedure one of his kids had this morning. So I know he is in his shell. Do I contact him in a day or two of he hasn't said anything or just leave him alone for him to come to me?

Contact him as a friend. Let him know that he has your support. Let him initiate seeing you.

Ok. Thanks.
Yea, I haven't really tested to see if he would ask to see me in awhile.

Posted by cancergoddess143


Contact him as a friend. Let him know that he has your support. Let him initiate seeing you.

Sounds like he was interested in having something real with you but maybe not so much anymore. You both were building trust and a bond and you sort of severed it when you slept with your ex. I'm not going to say he's using you right now but he's definitely guarding his heart. He's not doing anything that will cause him to have more feelings for you that could hurt him in the future. But he's probably still hoping that things will work out with you guys.

Posted by xMoonMan

Posted by StarMooney
But he's probably still hoping that things will work out with you guys.

This sounds like misplaced Sagittarius optimism.

click to expand

Very true. Don't believe this bull crap.

You went to the ex's house "just to talk" and ended up hooking up. This just sounds bad. Even if he can appreciate you being honest with him about it, how can he trust your judgment for falling for that BS. And its your ex who you have kids with who you're always going to be around.

And then the only reason you decided you wanted him was by comparing him to your failed marriage AFTER you slept with the ex one more time. Not based on his own merit and how great he was before that. So he's interpreting this as a blow to his ego. And once you've done that to cancer, you will more than likely never get back to where you were before. It will live in the back of his mins forever.

@phenyxbull

Not that it probably matters but this ex was not my ex husband. I have been divorced for many years now. This was an ex bf who continued to string me along. I was honest when I met him that I was not over my ex but just wanted companionship. He was the one that suggested being friends but we ended up having sex several weeks after meeting. It was a bad call for me to tell him I slept with the ex but I had to be honest with him. I don't lie and I wasn't gonna withold that info from him when we agreed to tell each other if we met someone else or slept with someone else. When I slept with my ex, we were not dating. We were not exusive. We both knew we were still on dating sites and trying to date others. But he did tell me months later when I said I wanted more that he wasn't talking to anyone else when he started talking to me.

Exclusive*

I still think they can make it work. At one point he loved you enough to give you a chance and if you can somehow prove to him that you're able be trusted again to the point he can love you in the same capacity again (which is a hard task) and fully commit to each other without all of the game playing, I think there may be hope. Once a cancer is cold it will be hard to get them back but if they love you enough, you could pull it off. But it'll take A LOT of work and revealing for that to work.

@starmooney

I hope so. I decided to write a very long email to him today. I have never emailed him before. I just laid out that I am really sorry for any hurt I caused him over my ex and that I never meant to hurt him. I didn't totally defend myself as to why I don't see it as cheating but I did acknowledge how much I hurt him. I also showed my own vulnerability and fear of rejection etc. I told him just to think about what I said and to gather his thoughts and let me know what he thinks. I Told him no rush.

By the way he never said he loved me but he did say he did care for me when I asked him about dating several months back.
Right now I just need to know if he still cares for me enough to explore this any deeper

Posted by xMoonMan

Posted by aquavita2

Posted by xMoonMan

Posted by StarMooney
But he's probably still hoping that things will work out with you guys.

This sounds like misplaced Sagittarius optimism.

shhhhhhh. 😄

You are one kooky Archer girl 😄

You've also proven to be one of the most ardent Crab cheerleaders...that's for sure! (infatuated much..lol)

I think that the Sagittarian optimism is one of your traits that we Crabs find very alluring or attractive.

click to expand

I think it helps when the one you meet is a good egg. As we know, some people on the board like to stereotype an entire sign based on 1 or 2 bad experiences. Also, glass half full, bla bla bla 😉

Posted by Geminihope
@starmooney

I hope so. I decided to write a very long email to him today. I have never emailed him before. I just laid out that I am really sorry for any hurt I caused him over my ex and that I never meant to hurt him. I didn't totally defend myself as to why I don't see it as cheating but I did acknowledge how much I hurt him. I also showed my own vulnerability and fear of rejection etc. I told him just to think about what I said and to gather his thoughts and let me know what he thinks. I Told him no rush.

By the way he never said he loved me but he did say he did care for me when I asked him about dating several months back.
Right now I just need to know if he still cares for me enough to explore this any deeper

Any update? Does him caring for you equate to wanting to date you now??