help - cancer super sensitive

i'm a nov. 4 scorpio, very very honest, unfiltered, candid. being honest to her is part of my love for her.

everything i say hurts her and she tries to hurt me back for it. i can't remember a time that i didn't hurt her with what i said.

in the beginning she becomes almost silent or defensive when i said something hurtful.

and then as time passes, she changed what she was doing: she tried to hurt me by saying something negative about me (very very obvious that she is trying to hurt me because of what i just said)

now she changed again: she walks out... i always chase her when she does that and when i catch up to her she lashes out on me (giving me the pincers)

i am aware of what is going on with her so when she is like this i don't fight back. i never did. i just let her know afterwards that i'm not mad at her for doing it.

i've read that cancer women tend to be bitchy once you get to know them. i don't mind her mood swings, i don't mind her being bitchy, i just want to know what should i do when she is like this.

i love her so much, please help me understand her...

thanks in advance!

p.s.: i'm not willing to lie to her or be fake with her just to be on her good side. i've seen a couple of people like that with her and they are indeed on her good side. but i can't imagine doing the same thing to her.

I see what you mean. It's hard when you're a straightforward person . Because you care about them it's like treading on water . But you have you think . If this is who you are and this is how she is , would you be okay spending the rest of your life watching what you say .

Another option

You don't have change who you are , but you can adapt to people . Some ask opinions without wanting opinions. They're simply talking.

Just now a friend sent me a screen play for his film making class. I thought he wanted my opinions. His response ? Well 26 other people in my class thought it was great .

So then I said don't listen to me then, I'm not a film major , I probably don't know what I'm saying. I told him to ask me to read it next time but it's better he don't ask for my opinion.. his film making friend would be better -.-

Now I know to just tell him. Good job , that was great .. I like it. He never really wanted my input . He just wanted a praise, an acknowledgement of his accomplishments. Since he's a friend , I don't have a problem giving that

Posted by RCancer
Just ignore her little bit and let her come to you.

yeah that happens. but when she does that (tries to get close to me again) i'm still thinking that she's still mad at me.

so like her mood changes right? (i've seen this) like today she would be mad at me and then the next time she won't be made at me anymore like it never happened. but i'm not as fluid emotionally as her (i'm a fixed scorpio). so her mood changes like this: negative - positive - negative again (because i was not able to ride her positive mood/follow through on her positive mood or i do something that would hurt her again so she gets angry again)

when i realize that she was already in a positive mood and i become positive again she's negative...

so it looks like this

me: positive

her: negative (because i said something/done something to hurt her)

me: negative - (telling her that i'm not mad at her about it but still thinking that she is still mad at me/feeling hurt by what she did)

her: positive (because she knew that i was not mad so she comes close)

me: negative

me: positive - (i realized that she was okay)

her: negative - (she's mad again because i said something hurtful again/wasn't able to follow through when she was positive)



i did let her know that i'm not mad at her when she intentionally hurts me, but that doesn't mean that i'm completely okay with it... at first i was understanding but as time passes what she does gets worse and painful (maybe because she sees that what she was doing initially wasn't hurting me)

me, i'm not fake... i can't pretend. when she hurts me intentionally (especially the recent ones) it hurts and it also confuses me (i think why she is like that)..when her mood changes to positive, she pops up when i don't expect her to (so i'm not prepared and i'm still thinking that she's mad at me) but i can notice that she's afraid to come too close to me maybe because she is afraid that i'm mad at her about it...i also need time to heal from negative things.. i don't just change the next day and pretend like nothing happened. usually she pops up when i am still healing from the hurtful thing she did/said.

being a scorpio i'm supposed to take revenge. but i always control myself. i don't do that to her.

Posted by coldwateryvirgo
Now I know to just tell him. Good job , that was great .. I like it. He never really wanted my input . He just wanted a praise, an acknowledgement of his accomplishments. Since he's a friend , I don't have a problem giving that

i can't do that... it's either i will say that it's bad (if i think it's bad) or i stay quiet when i'm asked. i might look at it, but won't comment on it (if i know that what i will say is negative). but when i see that something is good, i am vocal about it (that doesn't happen often but when it does it's genuine and real)

most people don't realize how simple it is: all they have to do is to show me something great to make me say that it's great.

i think by walking off she is making an attempt NOT to lash out at you. i know it's like that for me anyway. and i don't want to be followed. that only makes things worse ime. i need time, even sometimes as little as minutes, to decompress and collect myself so i can respond rationally. if the things you are saying are being hurtful to her, rethink your tact. it seems like she's doing her best not to rip back into you. what kinds of things do you say that are perceived hurtful?

Posted by AbbyNormal
i think by walking off she is making an attempt NOT to lash out at you. i know it's like that for me anyway. and i don't want to be followed. that only makes things worse ime. i need time, even sometimes as little as minutes, to decompress and collect myself so i can respond rationally. if the things you are saying are being hurtful to her, rethink your tact. it seems like she's doing her best not to rip back into you. what kinds of things do you say that are perceived hurtful?

1. when i don't like something she likes/when i say something negative/a criticism about what she likes.

- she is into running marathons and i'm not that into it so i say "it's not my thing..."

with my intuition, i can see that most of the things she likes she just picked up from other people... like she was with people who like running so she picked up the energy and say that she likes running also and did it...

as a scorpio i can feel the truth.

there are other people (the ones that i say that are on her good side) that pretends to like what she likes.

openly lying to her and she doesn't seem to see it.

2. when i say something that she perceives as arrogant (that i'm arrogant)

right now actually i'm literally not saying anything that i think would hurt her... (and so i'm almost literally not saying anything because almost all of the things i say can hurt her) i also noticed how much other people impact how she feels...but me being a scorpio i'm very controversial and i don't care about what other people think of me... she does...she cares about what other people think...

This sounds like what I'm going through with my Scorpio male. DO NOT IGNORE HER! She'll think she don't care about her.

i also told her that before (what i noticed about her that what she likes and do she picked up from other people who likes it and doing it) i even enumerated them and i think she perceived it as a criticism. so its like what she picks up from other people becomes her own (both positively and negatively -- like positive opinions and negative opinions) --- that is what i notice.. i think that one she makes up her mind on something (even if she just picked it up from other people and even if its wrong/not right/not true) she becomes stubborn about it (i think)

Posted by jennyfromtheblock
This sounds like what I'm going through with my Scorpio male. DO NOT IGNORE HER! She'll think she don't care about her.

yeah. that's actually one of the reasons why i chase her when she walks out --- i don't want her to think that i don't care about her... my gut is telling me to not leave her alone (just being honest about what my gut is telling me) but i also give her time and space to think about what happened... i just express that i'm not mad at her for doing it (so to put her mind at rest and so that she won't worry about it) but at the same time i need time to heal from what she said/did... i think i actually need more time than her..

Posted by scorpio04

Posted by AbbyNormal
i think by walking off she is making an attempt NOT to lash out at you. i know it's like that for me anyway. and i don't want to be followed. that only makes things worse ime. i need time, even sometimes as little as minutes, to decompress and collect myself so i can respond rationally. if the things you are saying are being hurtful to her, rethink your tact. it seems like she's doing her best not to rip back into you. what kinds of things do you say that are perceived hurtful?

1. when i don't like something she likes/when i say something negative/a criticism about what she likes.

- she is into running marathons and i'm not that into it so i say "it's not my thing..."

with my intuition, i can see that most of the things she likes she just picked up from other people... like she was with people who like running so she picked up the energy and say that she likes running also and did it...

as a scorpio i can feel the truth.

there are other people (the ones that i say that are on her good side) that pretends to like what she likes.

openly lying to her and she doesn't seem to see it.

2. when i say something that she perceives as arrogant (that i'm arrogant)

right now actually i'm literally not saying anything that i think would hurt her... (and so i'm almost literally not saying anything because almost all of the things i say can hurt her) i also noticed how much other people impact how she feels...but me being a scorpio i'm very controversial and i don't care about what other people think of me... she does...she cares about what other people think...

click to expand

honestly it sounds like she is super sensitive and young, and you are a bit insensitive and young haha to your defense, it's never fun to feel like you have to walk around on egg shells with someone and good communication is a key component for a successful relationship. you may think about moving on now. if you change your approach and she still acts out, I'd take that as a clear sign she's not ready to evolve with you.

Posted by AbbyNormal

Posted by scorpio04

Posted by AbbyNormal
i think by walking off she is making an attempt NOT to lash out at you. i know it's like that for me anyway. and i don't want to be followed. that only makes things worse ime. i need time, even sometimes as little as minutes, to decompress and collect myself so i can respond rationally. if the things you are saying are being hurtful to her, rethink your tact. it seems like she's doing her best not to rip back into you. what kinds of things do you say that are perceived hurtful?

1. when i don't like something she likes/when i say something negative/a criticism about what she likes.

- she is into running marathons and i'm not that into it so i say "it's not my thing..."

with my intuition, i can see that most of the things she likes she just picked up from other people... like she was with people who like running so she picked up the energy and say that she likes running also and did it...

as a scorpio i can feel the truth.

there are other people (the ones that i say that are on her good side) that pretends to like what she likes.

openly lying to her and she doesn't seem to see it.

2. when i say something that she perceives as arrogant (that i'm arrogant)

right now actually i'm literally not saying anything that i think would hurt her... (and so i'm almost literally not saying anything because almost all of the things i say can hurt her) i also noticed how much other people impact how she feels...but me being a scorpio i'm very controversial and i don't care about what other people think of me... she does...she cares about what other people think...

honestly it sounds like she is super sensitive and young, and you are a bit insensitive and young haha to your defense, it's never fun to feel like you have to walk around on egg shells with someone and good communication is a key component for a successful relationship. you may think about moving on now. if you change your approach and she still acts out, I'd take that as a clear sign she's not ready to evolve with you.

click to expand

i'm willing to adjust to her. it's just that i've never experienced her like this before only now, so i didn't know what to do and i also expressed that to her... i said that i don't know what to do when she is like that (because i've never experienced her like this before)... before we were fine and happy... i noticed that the more time we are together, the more sensitive she becomes to me and everything about me (including what other people say about me) but i don't mind that. i've also expressed that i want to take care of her emotionally (i don't want her hurt in any way)

Hi Scorpio! I've noticed Cancers getting hurt because of your straight forward attitude. I know you being honest is showing love to her. But she doesn't understand that yet. If you read her mind and if she knows that, she'll retreat. It would scare and hurt her badly.

I suggest you explain things to her. Or probably go on a date with her to a places where she can feel loved. Like an orphanage or a pet/bird shelter. She is someone who shows love selflessly. Allow her to open up and make her feel comfortable with you.

If you love her, please don't leave her alone. Show a lot of care and affection.

development: now she goes to where i am, but she just watches me. when i notice that she is there, she literally hides (like she hides her face). this has happened a couple of times now. 1/2 of me wants to just allow her to be like that for now (i won't do anything for now) and 1/2 of me wants to come to her when she does it next time. is this a normal cancer thing?

1/2 of me wants to come to her, hug her and tell her that i love her when she does it next time

i agree with @Impulsv

you sound controlling and dismissive. her choices are from others and all your choices are from your superior mind out of thin air?? wow. how origional. you must be someone special lol



the way you talk (primitive) would piss me off big time. you need to take some smooth talking lessons lol

did my "honest, unfiltered, candid" way of communication hurt your feelings lol?

Posted by scorpio04
i'm a nov. 4 scorpio, very very honest, unfiltered, candid. being honest to her is part of my love for her.

everything i say hurts her and she tries to hurt me back for it. i can't remember a time that i didn't hurt her with what i said.

in the beginning she becomes almost silent or defensive when i said something hurtful.

and then as time passes, she changed what she was doing: she tried to hurt me by saying something negative about me (very very obvious that she is trying to hurt me because of what i just said)

now she changed again: she walks out... i always chase her when she does that and when i catch up to her she lashes out on me (giving me the pincers)

i am aware of what is going on with her so when she is like this i don't fight back. i never did. i just let her know afterwards that i'm not mad at her for doing it.

i've read that cancer women tend to be bitchy once you get to know them. i don't mind her mood swings, i don't mind her being bitchy, i just want to know what should i do when she is like this.

i love her so much, please help me understand her...

thanks in advance!

WE HATE HARSH CRITICISM... Try to change the way you say it.. Or just don't say anything at all. She most likely said negative things about you so you can know how she felt. She lashes out because of anger and hurt but we like when u chase us just give us some time to cool off. Lol we aren't bitchy it's just when we really like someone we become vulnerable and anything can hurt us. Make sure you apologize for hurting her if you haven't already and work on yourself because if you don't the relationship will continue to go down hill.

Posted by iCloud9
did my "honest, unfiltered, candid" way of communication hurt your feelings lol?

no. not really.. when i told her that i was merely telling her what i have observed/noticed about her objectively. i was not criticizing her at all. but i do feel concerned that she might get something not good from other people just because that other people like it (i've seen this sometimes) i don't want her to go down a wrong path just because everybody else likes it. when i like something/when i like doing something i like it because it's beautiful, fun, etc. even if other people don't like it, i still like it. and when i don't like something/if i think that something is not good, i won't do it/i won't like it even if a lot of people like it. i don't allow other people to dictate to me what i should like or not like. i do have a way of talking to her in a gentle way when her mood swings turn negative and i notice that it does. e.g. she was into running marathons and wanted to do a triathlon i told her the story that was told to me about triathlons doing a zombie walk to finish it and i don't want her to experience that, but when i told her about the story (just the story) she got hurt and she tried to hurt me back by saying something negative about me. i noticed what was going on with her and i didn't got angry at her for doing it. i just told her that i was just worried about her in a gentle and sweet way and then she stopped talking.

Posted by scorpio04

Posted by iCloud9
did my "honest, unfiltered, candid" way of communication hurt your feelings lol?

no. not really.. when i told her that i was merely telling her what i have observed/noticed about her objectively. i was not criticizing her at all. but i do feel concerned that she might get something not good from other people just because that other people like it (i've seen this sometimes) i don't want her to go down a wrong path just because everybody else likes it. when i like something/when i like doing something i like it because it's beautiful, fun, etc. even if other people don't like it, i still like it. and when i don't like something/if i think that something is not good, i won't do it/i won't like it even if a lot of people like it. i don't allow other people to dictate to me what i should like or not like. i do have a way of talking to her in a gentle way when her mood swings turn negative and i notice that it does. e.g. she was into running marathons and wanted to do a triathlon i told her the story that was told to me about triathlons doing a zombie walk to finish it and i don't want her to experience that, but when i told her about the story (just the story) she got hurt and she tried to hurt me back by saying something negative about me. i noticed what was going on with her and i didn't got angry at her for doing it. i just told her that i was just worried about her in a gentle and sweet way and then she stopped talking.

click to expand

you are supposed to be her friend (bf?) not her dad. you worry and criticize her too much. and when you do not criticize her, you give negative outlooks (eg. about triathlons doing zombie walk to finish). you are a serious party pooper, debbie downer. are you sure you are not a virgo lol?

let her live and make her own mistakes an learn (well at least sometimes lol). your ways are not always the best way for her. back off.

what i have noticed about my cancer is that her reaction to me when she gets hurt/when i say something she perceives as hurtful changed over the years that we've been together

1. it started out with when she gets hurt, she just turn silent and/or gets defensive

and then as time pass...

2. when she gets hurt, she says something hurtful about me (this is when i know that she is hurt and i clarify gently to her what i mean)

now it's

3. when she gets hurt, she walks out. so i chase her (that is what my gut tells me) and she gives me the pincers when i reach her

when she is hurt, i get it why she is hurt...it just that i've never experienced before with her what i am experiencing with her right now --- the walking out part... so i am asking advice if any of you cancers out there does the same thing and what happened with you guys and your partners about it

Posted by scorpio04

Posted by RCancer
Just ignore her little bit and let her come to you.

yeah that happens. but when she does that (tries to get close to me again) i'm still thinking that she's still mad at me.

so like her mood changes right? (i've seen this) like today she would be mad at me and then the next time she won't be made at me anymore like it never happened. but i'm not as fluid emotionally as her (i'm a fixed scorpio). so her mood changes like this: negative - positive - negative again (because i was not able to ride her positive mood/follow through on her positive mood or i do something that would hurt her again so she gets angry again)

when i realize that she was already in a positive mood and i become positive again she's negative...

so it looks like this

me: positive

her: negative (because i said something/done something to hurt her)

me: negative - (telling her that i'm not mad at her about it but still thinking that she is still mad at me/feeling hurt by what she did)

her: positive (because she knew that i was not mad so she comes close)

me: negative

me: positive - (i realized that she was okay)

her: negative - (she's mad again because i said something hurtful again/wasn't able to follow through when she was positive)



i did let her know that i'm not mad at her when she intentionally hurts me, but that doesn't mean that i'm completely okay with it... at first i was understanding but as time passes what she does gets worse and painful (maybe because she sees that what she was doing initially wasn't hurting me)

me, i'm not fake... i can't pretend. when she hurts me intentionally (especially the recent ones) it hurts and it also confuses me (i think why she is like that)..when her mood changes to positive, she pops up when i don't expect her to (so i'm not prepared and i'm still thinking that she's mad at me) but i can notice that she's afraid to come too close to me maybe because she is afraid that i'm mad at her about it...i also need time to heal from negative things.. i don't just change the next day and pretend like nothing happened. usually she pops up when i am still healing from the hurtful thing she did/said.

being a scorpio i'm supposed to take revenge. but i always control myself. i don't do that to her.

click to expand

I don't want to be mean to him, the one I am trying to understand. So I just don't but there isn't anything I get mad at him about but ignoring me.... Update. He randomly texted me yesterday to ask a question he already knows. I answered. Then maybe a half hour later he starts dming me on and off for 5 hrs. Kept it more along the lines of things we both had seen on the net that bothered us. Still was nice to have that communication. He could have picked anyone to talk to and finally gave in to ask me. I've kept it cool and only answered him. Then finally said was going to sleep. Didn't contact him today because now that I have a greater understanding of how Caners are, I am going to let him work for my attention. He'd probably work harder if he wasn't able to read my twitter or other mutual board posts. At least I know he is thinking of me first to call and is likely thinking of me when isn't but they are so dang scared. Plus feeling me out. I am a Scorpio, we already felt each other out for 3 mns. Nothing to struggle about, are you in or out? Since I know now how Cancers are, I am keeping it friendly but not reaching out. I didn't speak to him today but I know he looks at anything I put on the net alot. lol.

Should I continue on my journey of letting him come to me and answering/being welcoming?

I hadn't talked to him but short answers over the course of a few days. Then he got mad at me wanting him unfollowing me. Took 2 more days for him to get out of his shell to contact me

I guess it helps me by seeing that when he wants to talk, he gets clingy lol. He says he wants to be friends and f-buddies til he straightens his life out and then "possibly". Since I DO know what is all going on with him and he does get clingy, I accept what is going on.

Tell us some things u told her... I get the feeling that u sayin some mean unneccessary things from time to time. Tell the truth

Lol like my libra ex once told me about his dream measurements for a woman and how he adviced me to go to gym LOL for my health LOL and I'm not fat at all. So I went like "u know what?! MY dream measurements for a man is 2 heads taller than you! I can get skinny if I wanted to but you can't grow any taller. How about that huh?!"

People sometimes should think twice before they "advice".

My husband loves socker, car races etc. I'm not into that, do I need to tell him? No I just watch these socker games with him and in return he watches some grey's anatomy with me haha

i've never experienced before in my entire life what she is doing from another person and i have never been in a relationship before, so i honestly don't know what to do

Posted by AquaNextDoor
Lol like my libra ex once told me about his dream measurements for a woman and how he adviced me to go to gym LOL for my health LOL and I'm not fat at all. So I went like "u know what?! MY dream measurements for a man is 2 heads taller than you! I can get skinny if I wanted to but you can't grow any taller. How about that huh?!"

People sometimes should think twice before they "advice".

My husband loves socker, car races etc. I'm not into that, do I need to tell him? No I just watch these socker games with him and in return he watches some grey's anatomy with me haha

? awesome comeback lol

ACCEPTANCE is love

it sounds like OP can't even 'tolerate' her lesser qualities (well, "lesser" in his eyes because he knows better of course lol)

Posted by AquaNextDoor
Tell us some things u told her... I get the feeling that u sayin some mean unneccessary things from time to time. Tell the truth

what i said before about telling her what i noticed about her --- i don't do that anymore because of how she reacted about it before...

i love her. i don't want to say anything that would hurt her but at the same time i want to be honest with her and tell her everything --- my past, everything...i'm very secretive (i think i have 3 scorpios in my chart including my sun sign) and me telling her is a privilege i only give to her (this is my dilemma)

what i noticed more though is that when i told her about my encounters with other people and what i did regarding those people, she does it to me.

now i don't say anything that i think would hurt her or that i think she will do to me when i told her even if i want to tell her (basically i'm literally not talking at all...because almost everything i say almost always hurt her) i even imagine that even if she asks me to tell her i might not tell her because i know what she will do --- she might do it to me or that she might get hurt by it.

Posted by scorpio04
i've never experienced before in my entire life what she is doing from another person and i have never been in a relationship before, so i honestly don't know what to do

first relationship? ok i feel guilty. i was too mean lol

you should sit down with her and have a heart-to-heart. ask her to tell you what are the things you said hurt her and why. ask her how should you rephrase them to not hurt her feelings. how can you better communicate the care you have for her in the future. tell her you think the world of her and trust that you never think ill of her. it's just that you two may have different style s in communication and you want to improve to make her happy.

Posted by AquaNextDoor
Lol like my libra ex once told me about his dream measurements for a woman and how he adviced me to go to gym LOL for my health LOL and I'm not fat at all. So I went like "u know what?! MY dream measurements for a man is 2 heads taller than you! I can get skinny if I wanted to but you can't grow any taller. How about that huh?!"

People sometimes should think twice before they "advice".

My husband loves socker, car races etc. I'm not into that, do I need to tell him? No I just watch these socker games with him and in return he watches some grey's anatomy with me haha

i'm not like that at all... i never tease her or make fun of her (i don't do that)... i've been bullied in school when i was young and i don't do that to anybody --- because i don't want other people to experience what i experienced.

to me i love her whatever i guess.

one time before this all happened she asked me if i like what she was wearing and i replied to her that anything she wears becomes beautiful when she wears it...and i meant it.

before running marathons she was actually into bodybuilding and she asks me if i like how she looks and i replied "i didn't love you because you're thin or sexy, i love you for you...you've always looked like that to me (that sexy)" and i meant that too...one time she said to me that she's not beautiful anymore and i replied to her that she's still beautiful

we were really really fine before...we never fight...it's all love. i also never fight and i am never violent because i was subject to child abuse when i was young so i'm very very kind and understanding and i never get angry... it all actually started just last year when i noticed that she was more sensitive to me and what i say... and i started to notice that the more time we were together, the more sensitive she becomes to me like she is even more sensitive to me now than she was last year when i first noticed it i think.

How do your daily interactions go with your friends, co workers and family ?

Ask thier advice too, cancers don't like to be criticised and are hyper sensitive, try making her laugh and feel more comfortable around you and aim to be her friend in the relationship not her boss hun x

sometimes when i experience her like this now i feel bad... it's as if she forgot everything good that has happened to us before. like they never happened. and everything was good. we never had a bad experience. and every experience that we had was special to me and i want to continue it with her... so her being like this is really confusing for me... but i still try to understand her and i still have not been mad at her all this time.

just so that you know, my scorpio sat my hyper sensitive ass down and did a similar talk I told you early on in our relationship lol. i was so touched that i told myself to never make him feel bad again. i also started to regulate my mood changes to the minimal because i know how my mood would affect his and i want to make him happy and emotionally stable, all the time. that's how we are for years now.

don't overthink and worry too much at this point. have the heart-to-heart with her and see how it goes. i wish you best of luck 🙂

Posted by scorpio04

Posted by AquaNextDoor
Tell us some things u told her... I get the feeling that u sayin some mean unneccessary things from time to time. Tell the truth

what i said before about telling her what i noticed about her --- i don't do that anymore because of how she reacted about it before...

i love her. i don't want to say anything that would hurt her but at the same time i want to be honest with her and tell her everything --- my past, everything...i'm very secretive (i think i have 3 scorpios in my chart including my sun sign) and me telling her is a privilege i only give to her (this is my dilemma)

what i noticed more though is that when i told her about my encounters with other people and what i did regarding those people, she does it to me.

now i don't say anything that i think would hurt her or that i think she will do to me when i told her even if i want to tell her (basically i'm literally not talking at all...because almost everything i say almost always hurt her) i even imagine that even if she asks me to tell her i might not tell her because i know what she will do --- she might do it to me or that she might get hurt by it.

click to expand

Yeh. I was just curious what exactly u told her.

Posted by scorpio04

Posted by AquaNextDoor
Lol like my libra ex once told me about his dream measurements for a woman and how he adviced me to go to gym LOL for my health LOL and I'm not fat at all. So I went like "u know what?! MY dream measurements for a man is 2 heads taller than you! I can get skinny if I wanted to but you can't grow any taller. How about that huh?!"

People sometimes should think twice before they "advice".

My husband loves socker, car races etc. I'm not into that, do I need to tell him? No I just watch these socker games with him and in return he watches some grey's anatomy with me haha

i'm not like that at all... i never tease her or make fun of her (i don't do that)... i've been bullied in school when i was young and i don't do that to anybody --- because i don't want other people to experience what i experienced.

to me i love her whatever i guess.

one time before this all happened she asked me if i like what she was wearing and i replied to her that anything she wears becomes beautiful when she wears it...and i meant it.

before running marathons she was actually into bodybuilding and she asks me if i like how she looks and i replied "i didn't love you because you're thin or sexy, i love you for you...you've always looked like that to me (that sexy)" and i meant that too...one time she said to me that she's not beautiful anymore and i replied to her that she's still beautiful

we were really really fine before...we never fight...it's all love. i also never fight and i am never violent because i was subject to child abuse when i was young so i'm very very kind and understanding and i never get angry... it all actually started just last year when i noticed that she was more sensitive to me and what i say... and i started to notice that the more time we were together, the more sensitive she becomes to me like she is even more sensitive to me now than she was last year when i first noticed it i think.

click to expand

You don't seem to be a douchebag. Can u give us examples of what u said and what her response was?

Ye I must admit you are coming across a nice guy, I don't really feel anything negative coming from you ?

in her bodybuilding competition, she didn't win. i wanted her to win and i knew that she can win and become the female champion. i was disappointed i guess... that was the time that i enumerated the times she got what she said that she likes to do from other people (the reason why she got into bodybuilding was because her gym instructor told her about it)... i said about her body building (when she didn't win) that she was not 100% there, that she wasn't serious about it because if she really wanted it, she could have won and became champion. before her bodybuilding competition she said she wanted to collect pink fountain pens (the original fountain pen collector that she got that idea from was someone else...she talked about that person) and asked me to help her. she said she wanted X number of pink fountain pens before her birthday and as a supportive determined scorpio i help her out to accomplish it. i got links of pink fountain pens from ebay and made a list and all she had to do was click buy. i was waiting for her to do it (buy it) but it seemed like she wasn't doing anything. so what i did was i just bought the very 1st one myself and gave it to her. it made me question if she really was serious when she said she wanted to collect pink fountain pens... i felt at that time that i seemed to be more committed to what she said than her. during that time i didn't knew that i was supposed to be the one who will do what she says and not her. and if i don't do it, it will not get done. i regretted what i said during her bodybuilding competition and i didn't do it again. so now when i notice anything about her i just keep quiet about it.

Posted by iCloud9

Posted by AquaNextDoor
Lol like my libra ex once told me about his dream measurements for a woman and how he adviced me to go to gym LOL for my health LOL and I'm not fat at all. So I went like "u know what?! MY dream measurements for a man is 2 heads taller than you! I can get skinny if I wanted to but you can't grow any taller. How about that huh?!"

People sometimes should think twice before they "advice".

My husband loves socker, car races etc. I'm not into that, do I need to tell him? No I just watch these socker games with him and in return he watches some grey's anatomy with me haha

? awesome comeback lol

ACCEPTANCE is love

it sounds like OP can't even 'tolerate' her lesser qualities (well, "lesser" in his eyes because he knows better of course lol)

click to expand

it IS.



I don't like men who don't love you deeply ....

I couldn't stand a man who has "requirements".

it's very shallow.



I mean keeping healthy and getting fit for health so you don't die too young is always good...

but for the sake of shallow stuff? gross.

but social media and Hollywood has gone too far and seeped into our influence.

but right now, she also gets hurt indirectly as well... she is into running marathons now right? i'm also running too because of her (i just did a marathon last feb.) but i still don't like it (running for a long time) because it feels monotonous and there is not much thinking involved so my mind gets bored.. when i was just starting i literally say about it: "it's not my thing" and "it (running) feels like torture" and i said that it "doesn't feel good" when i noticed that she gets hurt by that i just stopped saying it.. when i finished a marathon last feb., she was there... and people were talking to me about the marathon. i had a conversation with a young girl there and my cancer was listening... the young girl said that she wanted to do a marathon and i replied this exactly "i don't want you to do it..it's not fun" and then my cancer immediately walked out and i chased her. when i caught up to her she was with a couple of girls and those girls congratulated me and asked me if i will do another marathon again i said "no (i don't want to do another one)" and "i can't believe i just did that" and then my cancer walked out again...and i chased her again. when i caught up to her she gave me the pincers -- she lashed out on me. this is the most recent thing that happened to us.

a couple of days after that incident i made it known to her that i am not mad at her for what she did (when she gave me the pincers) and i said this "...i have a suggestion for you...just tell me what's going on and be honest about it...it's less stress for the both of us...think about it..." and i also said that "there is one thing that i like about running...going fast. i kinda like the sound of the wind in my ear when i do it" and i never said anything bad about running anymore... i've read that cancers don't want to be rushed in making decisions so i'm not pressuring her to tell me what's going on with her, i'm just waiting for her...but i'm also worried about what i have read that cancers have a hard time making a decision (it takes a long time) but when they do make a decision, it's solid. and right now as i said she goes to the place where i train in running and she just watches me train... when i see her there she hides her face every time.

1. Learn about her from all sides, like the way she thinks and sees things, her perspective.

2. Accept every single thing about her.

3. Use constructive manipulation to get out from this BS situation.

Aries with a lot of water and scorpio influence, 7 years with cancer girl, with self-esteem issues.

Though you may want to consider one thing. There are people that initially come into your life as weak and with issues psychological. Then things might end up bad for you, because once you'll put your effort in this person and fix/heal her and she doesn't see herselves weak anymore, she might want her life to change and that includes you aswell. It all comes down to the bond itself and the true reason for your relationships. Be careful and considerete.

This concept is applicable for all types of relationships.

Good luck.

Posted by AquaNextDoor

Posted by scorpio04

Posted by AquaNextDoor
Lol like my libra ex once told me about his dream measurements for a woman and how he adviced me to go to gym LOL for my health LOL and I'm not fat at all. So I went like "u know what?! MY dream measurements for a man is 2 heads taller than you! I can get skinny if I wanted to but you can't grow any taller. How about that huh?!"

People sometimes should think twice before they "advice".

My husband loves socker, car races etc. I'm not into that, do I need to tell him? No I just watch these socker games with him and in return he watches some grey's anatomy with me haha

i'm not like that at all... i never tease her or make fun of her (i don't do that)... i've been bullied in school when i was young and i don't do that to anybody --- because i don't want other people to experience what i experienced.

to me i love her whatever i guess.

one time before this all happened she asked me if i like what she was wearing and i replied to her that anything she wears becomes beautiful when she wears it...and i meant it.

before running marathons she was actually into bodybuilding and she asks me if i like how she looks and i replied "i didn't love you because you're thin or sexy, i love you for you...you've always looked like that to me (that sexy)" and i meant that too...one time she said to me that she's not beautiful anymore and i replied to her that she's still beautiful

we were really really fine before...we never fight...it's all love. i also never fight and i am never violent because i was subject to child abuse when i was young so i'm very very kind and understanding and i never get angry... it all actually started just last year when i noticed that she was more sensitive to me and what i say... and i started to notice that the more time we were together, the more sensitive she becomes to me like she is even more sensitive to me now than she was last year when i first noticed it i think.

You don't seem to be a douchebag. Can u give us examples of what u said and what her response was?

click to expand

see above

Ok, first of all, when you talk with a cancer person, after finishing a sentece, never say "think about it...".They take every single word personal, even if they don't show it, it may sound to her that you're implying that she tends not to think, or if you want put it boldly - stupid.

If you know, that she is sitting somewhere watching you train or something, lose the tendency of checking whether she is there every 2 minutes. Because if you're doing it (try to overcome denial if you experience it) then it's an obsession, witch doesn't count for an idealistic love. The more you show (not ACT - huge difference) to a cancer person that you're desperate about them, sure they find it cute and their self-respect grows, but in reality, the faster they will see that they cannot rely on you. There's a difference between dependece and desperation.

And the most important thing - lose the "pink-glasses", she actually might be just using you (no offence intended).

@scorpio04

not trying to be mean (again? lol) but at some point, one of you have to decide to be the man in the relationship first to not be over sensitive and let things go. i don't think 2 bitches work well in a relationship lol

talk to her, then forget about what she said / did that hurt you. of course, if things do not improve, then you may decide whether you are actually compatible. one thing at a time though, make a significant effort first

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
blah blah blah blah blah and more fuking blah

lmao

Being defensive and feeling attacked is a big issue for many cancerians I know, including myself. And it has ruined a lot for me.

Leaving her be when she walks out on you might be a good thing. For several reasons. Give her time to cool off and then ask her calmly how she felt when you said xyz and that you're trying to understand where she's coming from. Calm is key. It's a good antidote to the cancerian storm.

don't get me wrong that even though i said talk to her and tell her you never intend to hurt her feelings and you think the world of her, it does not mean that you should be a pushover and be her punching bag. she will lose respect for you and the relationship will not last if you become her punching bag anyway. after the nice reassurance, you should get her to acknowledge that she shouldn't expect you to take up on her interests that you really do not enjoy and vice versa. you both need to respect and accept each others differences. and if she cannot be reasoned with, then you may have a touch decision to make

also, don't go after her next time she runs away because you say something she does not like. you are not her puppy dog. women don't love men who they don't respect

Posted by iCloud9
don't get me wrong that even though i said talk to her and tell her you never intend to hurt her feelings and you think the world of her, it does not mean that you should be a pushover and be her punching bag. she will lose respect for you and the relationship will not last if you become her punching bag anyway. after the nice reassurance, you should get her to acknowledge that she shouldn't expect you to take up on her interests that you really do not enjoy and vice versa. you both need to respect and accept each others differences. and if she cannot be reasoned with, then you may have a touch decision to make

also, don't go after her next time she runs away because you say something she does not like. you are not her puppy dog. women don't love men who they don't respect

yeah.. even if i'm really really kind, i'm still a scorpio. when i experience negative experiences and emotions, i need alone time to heal from them --- i never take revenge, i just heal --- that's how i manage to stay kind. we had recent moments where i was still healing from what happened and she was already okay the next day (mood changes) so she arranges to see me...but since i was still not in the mood for it (i still needed to heal/the negative emotions are still fresh) i stung her... i believe it was 3 times now. i told her sorry for the 2nd one and i explained to her me needing time to heal from what happened. and the 3rd one i said "i don't want to do that again." i felt that i scared her... maybe the reason why she is just watching me now and hides herself when i see her is that she is scared. even until now i am still healing from what happened last february (and it's already april) --- that's one of the reasons why i was not going to her when i see her and she hides her face... but as i said recently i want to go to her and hug her when she does it again...that is what i currently felt. i actually think it's cute when she hides her face when i see her.. she's like a little kid. and i can feel her innocent and pure heart --- what i love about her.

Posted by Impulsv
She sounds a bit immature n insecure

Forcing u to like her intereslike rejecting thecinterest is rejecting her

yep. that's how she is and that is what i also felt...she thinks it's rejecting her... she is also like that when i say things about other people (it's not even about her) --- she takes it personally and gets hurt by it also. i've never met a person so sensitive in my entire life. but that is also the reason why i want to take care of her and what she feels.