help - cancer super sensitive (Page 2)

i also think that she has an air sign in her chart because she lies a lot... and/or like she can't say something in a straight manner (not to mention that i noticed she says things frivolously). when she is saying something it's not literal; she means something else (i guess this is her indirectness) me, i'm literal. if i say 'no' it really means no. so during critical times that it's obvious to me that she is lying i don't follow what she says/asks via saying the lie by instinct (it's instant for me) because it's a scorpio thing. this happened (me not following her because i felt that what she said as i call it "1/2 true" or false) a couple of times now.

Posted by Goateeguru
These chicks are a handful. And not in a good way. Not worth the effort at all!!!

I've never been around cancer anything like I've been in the past few weeks. You do see a totally different side when you get to know them and it can be unpleasant. It's borderline CRAZY.

There should be a zodiac school or training center that helps us improve or transcend our negatives.

I'm not trying to belittle anyone. I swear I'm not. Cancer just put a bad taste in my mouth.

I agree. They are super sensitive and I am not and they cringe when I speak to them when it's not even about them - but they know that I speak the truth - they can only think it. Some even make like I am the one with the "problem" and give me that "put down' look. Whatever. People have got to understand that the world is round. We have to be who we are because it is beautiful. Embrace it.

Posted by Goateeguru
I don't understand the whole getting you back or revenge thing. All water signs do that. It's so immature. That's what little children do.

whatever sign/person does this is immature

I knew a Cancer couple and they were continually hurting each other...it was really uncomfortable to watch...both on the defensive a lot of the time. They split up after having a little boy 😢

Posted by scorpio04
but right now, she also gets hurt indirectly as well... she is into running marathons now right? i'm also running too because of her (i just did a marathon last feb.) but i still don't like it (running for a long time) because it feels monotonous and there is not much thinking involved so my mind gets bored.. when i was just starting i literally say about it: "it's not my thing" and "it (running) feels like torture" and i said that it "doesn't feel good" when i noticed that she gets hurt by that i just stopped saying it.. when i finished a marathon last feb., she was there... and people were talking to me about the marathon. i had a conversation with a young girl there and my cancer was listening... the young girl said that she wanted to do a marathon and i replied this exactly "i don't want you to do it..it's not fun" and then my cancer immediately walked out and i chased her. when i caught up to her she was with a couple of girls and those girls congratulated me and asked me if i will do another marathon again i said "no (i don't want to do another one)" and "i can't believe i just did that" and then my cancer walked out again...and i chased her again. when i caught up to her she gave me the pincers -- she lashed out on me. this is the most recent thing that happened to us.

ya'll need therapy - I see a definite play on both sides for control -

Posted by scorpio04

Posted by RCancer
Just ignore her little bit and let her come to you.

yeah that happens. but when she does that (tries to get close to me again) i'm still thinking that she's still mad at me.

so like her mood changes right? (i've seen this) like today she would be mad at me and then the next time she won't be made at me anymore like it never happened. but i'm not as fluid emotionally as her (i'm a fixed scorpio). so her mood changes like this: negative - positive - negative again (because i was not able to ride her positive mood/follow through on her positive mood or i do something that would hurt her again so she gets angry again)

when i realize that she was already in a positive mood and i become positive again she's negative...

so it looks like this

me: positive

her: negative (because i said something/done something to hurt her)

me: negative - (telling her that i'm not mad at her about it but still thinking that she is still mad at me/feeling hurt by what she did)

her: positive (because she knew that i was not mad so she comes close)

me: negative

me: positive - (i realized that she was okay)

her: negative - (she's mad again because i said something hurtful again/wasn't able to follow through when she was positive)



i did let her know that i'm not mad at her when she intentionally hurts me, but that doesn't mean that i'm completely okay with it... at first i was understanding but as time passes what she does gets worse and painful (maybe because she sees that what she was doing initially wasn't hurting me)

me, i'm not fake... i can't pretend. when she hurts me intentionally (especially the recent ones) it hurts and it also confuses me (i think why she is like that)..when her mood changes to positive, she pops up when i don't expect her to (so i'm not prepared and i'm still thinking that she's mad at me) but i can notice that she's afraid to come too close to me maybe because she is afraid that i'm mad at her about it...i also need time to heal from negative things.. i don't just change the next day and pretend like nothing happened. usually she pops up when i am still healing from the hurtful thing she did/said.

being a scorpio i'm supposed to take revenge. but i always control myself. i don't do that to her.

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You missed it even with these LONG continued explanations. You care about her. Go Google characteristics of a Cancer WOMAN (men and women are different AND June/July CANCER women are different, too). The famous one to describe a cancerian is like this, "When they are hurt, they hide inside their shell. All you see is their beady eyes lurking out". Thus the saying, "Cancerians hide inside their shell." She's hurt. EVEN your sarcasm hurts her. If you pick on her; you're hurting her. If you make fun of her (probably correcting her grammar, cooking, makeup, clothes, etc.,) you're hurting her.

YOU have to work on YOU. Why? (I lived with a Scorpio for five years). You tend to be sarcastic, have a hot temper, and you lash it out on her. You shouldn't be like this. Love doesn't hurt; love is kind; here's a Holy Bible verse for you to think about every day:

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 New International Version (NIV)

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

IS THIS LOVE THAT YOU SHOW HER? No.

IF, if you continue to treat her with your "anger" you will lose her. First work on you. ACTIONS speak louder than words. Go see a therapist for anger management and/or meditate to work on your anger. I am telling you out of experience because after I left the five year relationship w/my live in boyfriend (Scorpio) he was put in jail for throwing his elderly father-in-law from one room to another. Do you want this to happen to the one(s) you love?

Take heed of words from the "wise".

🤗 cyber hugs!

Love,

Eva

Posted by narayana
How come you always have so much things to say if this happens so frequently? Is she really that bad?

There's a thing to keep in mind, when you're criticizing someone, you should also advise them how they could do better, not just telling them what they're bad at. Otherwise your opinion is shit.

And I'm not saying this out of being a Cancer myself.

Thank you. I've been following this for a bit....Having a hard time following all of it....I want to take everyone's comments into account though....

Posted by narayana
How come you always have so much things to say if this happens so frequently? Is she really that bad?

There's a thing to keep in mind, when you're criticizing someone, you should also advise them how they could do better, not just telling them what they're bad at. Otherwise your opinion is shit.

And I'm not saying this out of being a Cancer myself.

i'm never saying that she's bad. i accept her for who she is and i never asked her to change and i never got mad at her for what she is doing. i was just answering the question to me to give specifics. and was just stating what i observed about her. again, i've never experienced a person like her in my entire life... she's the very 1st person i have a relationship with. so i'm asking for advice and guidance. right now i'm just following my gut and instinct with her.

Umm maybe you should get mad? Cause coddling her temper tantrums is not the way to get them to stop. Next time she gets pissed let her walk.

Posted by scorpio04

Posted by narayana
How come you always have so much things to say if this happens so frequently? Is she really that bad?

There's a thing to keep in mind, when you're criticizing someone, you should also advise them how they could do better, not just telling them what they're bad at. Otherwise your opinion is shit.

And I'm not saying this out of being a Cancer myself.

i'm never saying that she's bad. i accept her for who she is and i never asked her to change and i never got mad at her for what she is doing. i was just answering the question to me to give specifics. and was just stating what i observed about her. again, i've never experienced a person like her in my entire life... she's the very 1st person i have a relationship with. so i'm asking for advice and guidance. right now i'm just following my gut and instinct with her.

click to expand

Accepting her and not asking her to change isn't the issue here. It's your delivery. Work on finding a way to communicate without wounding.

Posted by MyStarsShine
I knew a Cancer couple and they were continually hurting each other...it was really uncomfortable to watch...both on the defensive a lot of the time. They split up after having a little boy 😢

thanks for sharing that. at least i know what other people have went through.. i never hurt my cancer back when she hurts me because i hurt her inadvertently because most of the time i understand why she is hurt. i talk to her gently about it. but when she hurts me it really hurts, she knows what buttons to push that she thinks will really hurt me. i just can manage the hurt better and i have more self-control so i never hurt her back when she does it to me. i just can't talk to her properly when she walks out on me right now. and i initially didn't knew what to do when she is like that. i want to understand her more.

also when she gets hurt inadvertently and walks out on me recently, she does it wherever we are, even in public (a lot of people are there including her friends and family sometimes). i guess when she is hurt, it doesn't matter to her? what goes on to you cancer women's minds when you guys are hurt?

from what i can sense from my cancer, when she is hurt (even perceived) she wants to hurt you back and she really wants you to feel the hurt that she felt...if she thinks that you were not hurt from what she did, next time she will do something worse to really make you feel the hurt (i've seen this in her that what she does gets worse over time... initially i can still talk to her gently now it's a bit more challenging)

Posted by scorpio04

Posted by iCloud9
don't get me wrong that even though i said talk to her and tell her you never intend to hurt her feelings and you think the world of her, it does not mean that you should be a pushover and be her punching bag. she will lose respect for you and the relationship will not last if you become her punching bag anyway. after the nice reassurance, you should get her to acknowledge that she shouldn't expect you to take up on her interests that you really do not enjoy and vice versa. you both need to respect and accept each others differences. and if she cannot be reasoned with, then you may have a touch decision to make

also, don't go after her next time she runs away because you say something she does not like. you are not her puppy dog. women don't love men who they don't respect

yeah.. even if i'm really really kind, i'm still a scorpio. when i experience negative experiences and emotions, i need alone time to heal from them --- i never take revenge, i just heal --- that's how i manage to stay kind. we had recent moments where i was still healing from what happened and she was already okay the next day (mood changes) so she arranges to see me...but since i was still not in the mood for it (i still needed to heal/the negative emotions are still fresh) i stung her... i believe it was 3 times now. i told her sorry for the 2nd one and i explained to her me needing time to heal from what happened. and the 3rd one i said "i don't want to do that again." i felt that i scared her... maybe the reason why she is just watching me now and hides herself when i see her is that she is scared. even until now i am still healing from what happened last february (and it's already april) --- that's one of the reasons why i was not going to her when i see her and she hides her face... but as i said recently i want to go to her and hug her when she does it again...that is what i currently felt. i actually think it's cute when she hides her face when i see her.. she's like a little kid. and i can feel her innocent and pure heart --- what i love about her.

click to expand

you are still hurt about what she said/did in February?! we do not hold on to bad feelings about each other for more than 30 mins if any

you both are overly sensitive, hold on to hurt feelings and resentments get built up. not a healthy relationship. when you have the talk with her, ask her to work with you to be open and resolve hurt feelings immediately moving forward

and @LadyNeptune's right, you may want to work on your delivery. so does her. walking out is very immature

Posted by iCloud9

Posted by scorpio04

Posted by iCloud9
don't get me wrong that even though i said talk to her and tell her you never intend to hurt her feelings and you think the world of her, it does not mean that you should be a pushover and be her punching bag. she will lose respect for you and the relationship will not last if you become her punching bag anyway. after the nice reassurance, you should get her to acknowledge that she shouldn't expect you to take up on her interests that you really do not enjoy and vice versa. you both need to respect and accept each others differences. and if she cannot be reasoned with, then you may have a touch decision to make

also, don't go after her next time she runs away because you say something she does not like. you are not her puppy dog. women don't love men who they don't respect

yeah.. even if i'm really really kind, i'm still a scorpio. when i experience negative experiences and emotions, i need alone time to heal from them --- i never take revenge, i just heal --- that's how i manage to stay kind. we had recent moments where i was still healing from what happened and she was already okay the next day (mood changes) so she arranges to see me...but since i was still not in the mood for it (i still needed to heal/the negative emotions are still fresh) i stung her... i believe it was 3 times now. i told her sorry for the 2nd one and i explained to her me needing time to heal from what happened. and the 3rd one i said "i don't want to do that again." i felt that i scared her... maybe the reason why she is just watching me now and hides herself when i see her is that she is scared. even until now i am still healing from what happened last february (and it's already april) --- that's one of the reasons why i was not going to her when i see her and she hides her face... but as i said recently i want to go to her and hug her when she does it again...that is what i currently felt. i actually think it's cute when she hides her face when i see her.. she's like a little kid. and i can feel her innocent and pure heart --- what i love about her.

you are still hurt about what she said/did in February?! we do not hold on to bad feelings about each other for more than 30 mins if any

you both are overly sensitive, hold on to hurt feelings and resentments get built up. not a healthy relationship. when you have the talk with her, ask her to work with you to be open and resolve hurt feelings immediately moving forward

and @LadyNeptune's right, you may want to work on your delivery. so does her. walking out is very immature

click to expand

thanks. it's because i love her. i'm very very vulnerable to her. if she hurts me, it's really really deep, but i don't get mad. i don't say that to her because if i did, when she gets hurt again inadvertently, she will know how to hurt me deeper than what she is already doing. if i didn't love her i wouldn't care and i wouldn't even notice her in the first place.

i think that she's an unevolved cancer... sometimes i feel a responsibility to evolve her..

Posted by Scorpio84

Posted by tcta

Posted by Goateeguru
I don't understand the whole getting you back or revenge thing. All water signs do that. It's so immature. That's what little children do.

whatever sign/person does this is immature

yes some do learn how childish and useless this is while others might stick to that forever,

can be a very sad sight when you see someone consumed by hate.

click to expand

yes it is very sad - there is so much more to life than personal drama that consumes their entire existence on this planet ... yes, very sad !

Typically unevolved Cancer-Scorpio dynamic. This is me, I hate drama in public, with how unfiltered your pattern of delivery is, walking away from you and the situation is exactly what I'd do. And I'd rather you not chase me.

I'd walk away cause, it's easier and leaves everyone confused. Chasing me would then obviously lead to the same argument I would rather avoid.

Let her learn, on her own, in her own way, how to handle her emotions.

You need a distraction, something you can get busy with, you are toooooo in her space. Live and let live.

Posted by scorpio04

Posted by iCloud9

Posted by scorpio04

Posted by iCloud9
don't get me wrong that even though i said talk to her and tell her you never intend to hurt her feelings and you think the world of her, it does not mean that you should be a pushover and be her punching bag. she will lose respect for you and the relationship will not last if you become her punching bag anyway. after the nice reassurance, you should get her to acknowledge that she shouldn't expect you to take up on her interests that you really do not enjoy and vice versa. you both need to respect and accept each others differences. and if she cannot be reasoned with, then you may have a touch decision to make

also, don't go after her next time she runs away because you say something she does not like. you are not her puppy dog. women don't love men who they don't respect

yeah.. even if i'm really really kind, i'm still a scorpio. when i experience negative experiences and emotions, i need alone time to heal from them --- i never take revenge, i just heal --- that's how i manage to stay kind. we had recent moments where i was still healing from what happened and she was already okay the next day (mood changes) so she arranges to see me...but since i was still not in the mood for it (i still needed to heal/the negative emotions are still fresh) i stung her... i believe it was 3 times now. i told her sorry for the 2nd one and i explained to her me needing time to heal from what happened. and the 3rd one i said "i don't want to do that again." i felt that i scared her... maybe the reason why she is just watching me now and hides herself when i see her is that she is scared. even until now i am still healing from what happened last february (and it's already april) --- that's one of the reasons why i was not going to her when i see her and she hides her face... but as i said recently i want to go to her and hug her when she does it again...that is what i currently felt. i actually think it's cute when she hides her face when i see her.. she's like a little kid. and i can feel her innocent and pure heart --- what i love about her.

you are still hurt about what she said/did in February?! we do not hold on to bad feelings about each other for more than 30 mins if any

you both are overly sensitive, hold on to hurt feelings and resentments get built up. not a healthy relationship. when you have the talk with her, ask her to work with you to be open and resolve hurt feelings immediately moving forward

and @LadyNeptune's right, you may want to work on your delivery. so does her. walking out is very immature

thanks. it's because i love her. i'm very very vulnerable to her. if she hurts me, it's really really deep, but i don't get mad. i don't say that to her because if i did, when she gets hurt again inadvertently, she will know how to hurt me deeper than what she is already doing. if i didn't love her i wouldn't care and i wouldn't even notice her in the first place.

i think that she's an unevolved cancer... sometimes i feel a responsibility to evolve her..

click to expand

no one doesn't get mad. trust me, i would like to think i never get mad and that's pretty close to the truth but i do. period. everyone does at some point and it sounds like you have issues letting yours out, which will affect everyone around you. until you learn how to deal with your own emotions in a healthy way, you will not be able to deal with anyone else's in a healthy way. work on yourself and your delivery. if the problem persists, you can say you did your best. that's all we can ever do...

can i ask something? when cancer women realizes after the fact that what she did was not good (being bitchy to you) will they say 'sorry'?

Posted by scorpio04
can i ask something? when cancer women realizes after the fact that what she did was not good (being bitchy to you) will they say 'sorry'?

No they won't

Be strong, be who you are, dont chase her around it will be hard at first but cancer people don't like doormats hun, let her go in her shell, ignore it, believe me she will come after you for an explanation when she is ready and her feelings will only be the ones that matter, or that's what it will feel like to you.

If you really care for her, be ready for a whole weekly/ monthly lifetime of this cause that's a cancer, male or female hun, but the the sweet times make it all better x

Ummm, Cancers can grow out of this. It's all about learning to deal with your emotions without hurting others. About feeling the most intense hurt or whatnot and still realizing that there is a world filled with subjective perceptions and different people.

thanks guys for all of your inputs, i really appreciate it. she's actually running longer runs now (ultramarathons) but i said that i like to go fast, so i'm going faster (i'm aiming for a fast 5 Kilometer race) i'm aiming to be a champion in a 5k race (i don't know yet if i can do it. never done this before in my entire life. but i am training and trying) hopefully i will get her respect when i accomplish that.

hi guys. here's an update: i just saw my cancer today. i went to one of her ultramarathon runs. when she saw me, she didn't approached me/sort if ignored me, so i approached her. When i approached her i asked "are you okay now?" and she replied yes, she was okay. i told her that i asked permission to the organizer to accompany her until the finish line. at first she said she was okay (like saying that she didn't need my company) but i insisted that my car was parked there, so i accompanied her anyway.

We were walking side by side and i wasn't saying anything (i was just thankful and grateful that she wasn't walking out on me like before) and then she asked me why i didn't registered to run at the event. i said that it (the ultramarathon --- running more than 30 miles) was too far for me (i was being honest because i really am not into doing that). and then i greeted her happy birthday and she said "thanks" with a smile. i told her about my conversations with the volunteers there at the event and with the organizer and told her how kind they were. she asked me to do things (e.g. like accompany her to her next ultramarathon to be one of the official people who will support her, and do some other things) i just said that it's her call (i essentially told her to make a decision about it i just said i'm fine either way). She mentioned that she will be spending her birthday in another country so I told her that “so that means, your birthday gift from me will be for next year?” she said it’s up to me. I think she was suggesting that I go to the country where she is celebrating her birthday (but I don’t have money to go there so I just didn’t commented on it) Truthfully i was holding back tears one time when we were walking because i was thankful that she was okay (and was not walking out on me like before because that was very stressful), but i didn't felt she was 100% herself (like how she was before). Her running friends were there at the event as well (who are with us). Some of them already recognizes me when they saw me (but i don't know them). They were the same friends that saw her walk out on me multiple times in past running events and then i chase her. And also the moon is in waxing gibbous right now (maybe it has an effect as well). maybe the reason why she was not 100% herself was because they (her friends) were there + the moon.

There was a time that her friends ask to take a picture and i just went to the side (i didn't joined the picture) one of her friends was asking me to join the picture and i kept on refusing. my cancer just said that i'm shy. What i did was i offered to take their picture.

When she finished the run, she told me that she will not be able to entertain me and told me to take care (going home) and then she was looking for one of her friends and asked her to accompany her to the bathroom. And then I left. I felt that she was trying to avoid me. (but she was not walking out like how she was doing it before. i guess it was more subtle this time.)

She was walking with me side-by-side but she wasn’t touching me (like holding my hand or hugging me or touching my back or something like before) and was not making eye contact with me. She was touching other people (touching their backs and holding their hands, etc.), but she never touched me. When I tried to touch her, she backs up. I have read that it’s a good sign when she touchy feely with you.. does that mean that it’s not good now when she is not touching me right now? or maybe this is a good fresh start?

What do you guys think of what happened?