Capricorn with commitment issues? (Page 2)

Angel, that's a cute story! Thanks for sharing! Gosh, could have shared way earlier to avoid all these posts!!! 😉

Then maybe I'm wrong! Like you, I mostly hang around males and the women I've known have all acted rather crazy in their relationships (every woman except the cap and sag women, surprisingly). While I am accusing of generalizing, it might be me that is generalizing women, lol!

"And you're right about caps being fiercely loyal...to their friends and family. Caps get loyal to their woman only after it's decided that you are his woman."

In my experience with my Cap, that was ABSOLUTELY true.

"the thing is, he preferred to be treated badly by his friends than well by his girlfriends."

Preaching to the choir...lol. My cap always had faith in his friends..far more than he should've. He's had friends steal from him, talk shit behind his back and mooch off of him. He'd eventually push them out of his life, only for them to come back after time has passed and it'll be between them like nothing has ever happened. As his girlfriend, I never understood that or why he wouldn't hesistant to show anger or annoyance to me and not to his friends when they fucked him over. His answer to this... He holds me up on a pedestal and expects me to be BETTER than all of them so when I do something that makes him angry or annoyed, it bothers him so much more because he cares about me. Also as his girlfriend, he says that he feels more comfortable showing his emotions to me. I'm not saying that it's the right way to be. That's just the answer he gave me.

He'd eventually push them out of his life, only for them to come back after time has passed and it'll be between them like nothing has ever happened.

no offense to you but he sounds very immature. I had a phase when I was a boy when I was like that. I'm talking 8 years old. where i had friends who'd get me in trouble, borrow and steal, and i'd forgive because i wanted someone to play with me. then i learned to say the hell with them, and got self respect. I said f*ck those who treat me that way. I began thinking about what is in it for me. If he's locked in some child hood sh1t then he isn't worth the effort.

What have you done for me lately? it is a key cliche with a strong meaning. How close, and how a person and I used to be means little if present actions contradict it. by that i mean, yes, that person may have been there for me when i needed them, but now, they covet my woman, and steal from me. it's like well guess what? they and i are no longer friends. probably why i never like to owe anyone anything. thta way there is no such thing where they can say 'well i did this for you'.

He holds me up on a pedestal and expects me to be BETTER than all of them
i agree, that yes, as his woman you should be better than they, but he should also treat you better. so how about, when he treats you with the proper status, you give him what he wants?

not sure why either, maybe he is going through that child hood phase, or he figures they have some use. the last one is the one of the ONLY two reasons i'd ever take sh1t from someone.

1st) I am unable to retaliate. (like when in the military. company commander gives me shit, and I have to be creative to get back at him, when i do woe is him.)

2nd) they have use, and i actually NEED them. then i try to let offenses slide. but the more they beat me, the more vicious ill be when i am able to tear into their throats.

Caps get loyal to their woman only after it's decided that you are his woman.
this is true. sadly even if things are going well, unless this is met, he's apt to tap out at any moment. i reserve the right to leave till i make formal claims of staying, and that is only if the terms of the agreement are met.

if he likes smoking pot and his friends so much, let them rub his cold feet at night and hold him when he cries. obviously for some reason he didn't think you special enough to put them in their place when they offended you. so you < friends.

i actually didn't mind that b/c then i could fix it.
that's the purpose of doing it. means he actually cares how you behave. if a capricorn tells you nothing, he either doesn't give a sh1t, or he's actually pleased.
but, i would think if he is pleased, he'd still tell you.

pisc74 10/3/2007 7:21:44 PM | ip: xxx.xxx.xxx.12E


"I told him to relax for a little while before getting back into work."

"I was unhappy with the situation of them being lazy"



Every Cappy man I know is ALL ABOUT MONEY .. in fact, this goes for the females also .. as far as ambition (setting and accomplishing goals), they are the most dedicated people I know.

Need to count on somebody? Go to a Capricorn.

However, they are also human and will suffer down-time in thier life, jsut like anybody else and if their partner of 4 years tells them, "relax for a little while before getting back into work", then they will likely do this with confidence that this person said this for their health and well-being, so they can get out of their funk and rise above.

How this relaxation goes, may come in a number of ways. Depends on the individual .. many find video games relaxing.

The point is .. he was in a funk and was told by his partner who claimed to have loved him to: Relax before going back to work.

He believed her .. she betrayed him. Though I would tend to agree with people in here who say he was disrespecting her by laying around the house and not helping ... but, what I think is being missed here is that she told him not to go back to work for awhile so he could rest.

Your thread on the Pisces board now makes sense to me .. you don't know how to treat people you claim to care for.

Many Pisces have this problem because the live in a delusion. To abandon a person is cruel .. the cruelest thing a person can do to another.

Pisces do it everyday of their lives with no remorse because they justify it to others by embellishing the facts to sway a person into believing they were blameless .. and the fact of the matter is, you made a commitment to him, this includes when times are tough. Just as when you were out of work for 3 months, he took care of you.

I doubt very seriously that he sat around, I doubt most of what you are saying as for the facts of this because you are talking out of both sides of your mouth.

One side says he admits he was wrong, he messed up, it was his fault, he is sorry, he shouldn't have let you down ..... while the other side says that he's afraid of you just walking out for no reason again.

If each post is read and comprehended individually and progressed along the path of deception, it would appear as though you have been victimized .. however, if a person goes back and forth to attempt to tie up the inconsistencies, it becomes apparant that there is a lot of double-talking.

It doesn't take a genuis to figure out that you are looking for validation from others to justify your conscience, and in so doing, you are embellishing your side of the situation.

I don't get it ....


"He admits to having a commitment issue with me because he's SO afraid that I'm going to hurt him and leave him again."


If he is fully aware that he was the one who had hurt you, which caused you to abandon him .. which 7 full pages has explained thoroughly that he knows he's the one who dicked this relationship up and put such a burden on you that it was too much to bear .. then why exactly would he be afraid of you hurting him?

I thought you proved that it was him who hurt you and he knows it?

Yet, he's afraid of you hurting him? That makes no sense.

Shouldn't he be worried about you leaving him again because HE hurt you, since that's what you've proven is the case and he agrees to it?

It doesn't make sense ..

This is true, Ballerina ... however, the problem is, until a person gets down to the real issue, how do you know what advice to give?

What's the real problem?

Her being abused and how to handle him having a commitment issue?

Or, him being abused and now she's left with trying to figure out how to get her to trust him again?

It's at each person's discretion to give whatever support they want, according to their interpretations .. however, my words come from where and how I see a situation go down, regardless if the reciever WANTS to hear the words or not.

My motto and always will be: If you don't want to hear the truth, then don't ask the question.

First, the truth has to be flushed out.

P-Angel, you are at it again with your antagonism. *rolling the eyes*

I guess you feel the need to be a bully in these forums and you chose to pick on me. If you're going to call me a liar and assume that what I post isn't true, then simply don't read or respond to them. Let those who truly care and want to help others do the posting. Why do you even bother? I don't need your validation for anything.

Guys I didnt have time to read all 8 pages...but I just wanna say my few cents.

Everyone on here judging away: sure, judge, we are human and we do that. But have the knowledge that every situation and scenario is unique to the two people, especially when its an intimate relationship.

So Pisc74, stop wasting your energy trying to explain yourself to these people! They write what they know, and they don't know everything about your situation.

On that note, it sounds like you did the right thing for yourself. These things are messy and they aren't always about astrology. Just good apples and bad apples.

Are you sure you want him back?

Good luck and love

"Capricorn with commitment issues?"


With self-awareness comes all answers .. we create our world around us, it doesn't just happen upon us, out of our control.


For four years, there was commitment .. by our own actions, we create a commitment issue by our deeds .. then this is what we have to own for ourselves, and not put it onto another person as though it is their problem, their issue, something the other person has to work on.

This commitment issue didn't pop out of thin air .. the situation was created.

think laws pertaining common law marriages change from state to state, so that may not be completely accurate. moral commitment is another subject that i will not delve into so o well.

Tirade? lol ..

"My Capricorn and I were in a commited relationship for over 4 years"

This is the first sentence, bullerina .. the term commitment isn't something I am hung on with no merit, rather, I'm referring to the same wordage she did to describe her relationship .. marriage has nothing to do with commitment, or trust. If this is what you believe, then sobeit .. however, that holds no consequence to my sense of moral judgement, only yours.

My point was, should you choose to actually listen, is that this thread was made making the suggestion that this man has an issue, that he is afraid of commitment .. and my point is .. he was NOT afraid of it, this was NOT an issue .. until a situation was created in which there is now fear. And the creation of this situation came from deeds done, whether they are justifiable, or not.

The tone of this thread was worded in such a way as to suggest that it is not understood what his problem is, why does he have this problem, he has this issue that shouldn't have grounding. Not her words, rather, the way in which it is structured leads a reader to believe that he actually has this problem and what is a girl to do?

This situation was created .. it didn't just happen with justification on his part.

Legality has naught to do with morals .. if a person makes a vow to another, then a document has nothing to do with whether you are bound in your heart to honor your word.

If you choose to listen to my tone and not actually hear my words, so beit, bullerina .. I don't sensor them for you, nor will I.

Actually ... if the heart of the matter is acknowledged .. it appears that this man likely doesn't have a commitment issue at all, since he did so for over 4 years.

The problem here is that he doesn't trust her any longer .. and since she isn't going to admit that he has justification in this doubt for her integrity if she says she won't do this again, it will be turned around to make it sound like the issue is his .. as though he's afraid to commit.

When by his actions of 4 years, he's proven that he's not afraid .. he does however sound like a man who has lost faith, trust.

"The problem here is that he doesn't trust her any longer .. and since she isn't going to admit that he has justification in this doubt for her integrity if she says she won't do this again, it will be turned around to make it sound like the issue is his .. as though he's afraid to commit."
P-Angel, you said all the right words!!!!!!!

When Caps choose commitment you need to do something pretty hurtful to them for them to all of a sudden be afraid of commitment.
Caps look for stability....... So commitment is not an issue for them. It's all about finding someone worthy of their time and energy..

You hurt him really bad and then you didn't even have the patients to proove your worthyness to him.. Now he is scarde twice.......

PISC74,

Girl, you did what you had to do. Sounds like you were dealing with some pretty heavy issues. One can only be so understanding and tolerant of the cap male and their 'issues' for so long.

One can only be so understanding and tolerant of the cap male and their 'issues' for so long.
In her case, I do say she was justified. But the quasi-implied meaning that all cap males have intolerable problems is silly. Not like leos, gemini's, aries, and the rest of the zodiac have perfect personalities, that never are displeasing, and require absolutely no maintenance.

"The problem here is that he doesn't trust her any longer .. and since she isn't going to admit that he has justification in this doubt for her integrity if she says she won't do this again, it will be turned around to make it sound like the issue is his .. as though he's afraid to commit."

Gemini_82grl, I've already addressed this in previous posts. Once again...I have spent almost 2 YEARS trying to get things back on track with this man. Of course I understand that I hurt him when I left. Under the circumstances, I still stand by that decision and he may not agree with it, but he understands why. Atleast that's what he tells me. You're also forgetting that he's hurt me too. I haven't really gone into detail about that but he knows what he did to hurt me and that he's not completely innocent in this. Anyway, he'd be the first person to tell you that he's frustrated that he hasn't been able to let go of the fear yet. I'm frustrated too but I'm not ready to kick him to the curb if he's being sincere about this and not using it as an excuse to manipulate me. That's the whole reason I posted this topic. I know "relationship Cap" well but not "post-break up Cap" and I needed help understanding what was going on. Those who have been able to do it without feeling the need to bash or bully have been really helpful.

"When Caps choose commitment you need to do something pretty hurtful to them for them to all of a sudden be afraid of commitment.
Caps look for stability....... So commitment is not an issue for them. It's all about finding someone worthy of their time and energy.."

That's exactly why I posted this topic. My Cap had been faithful and committed to me in the past. I wanted the focus to be on what is going on post breakup, not the break up itself. Two years is a long time to hold onto something if you have made up in your mind that you're going to forgive someone and try to patch things up, which my Cap chose to do. After a long talk with Cap and with the helpful advice of many of the posters here, I have a better understanding of what's going on.

"You hurt him really bad and then you didn't even have the patients to proove your worthyness to him.. Now he is scarde twice......."

Once again, 2 years is a LONG time to be making up with someone. There is a fine line between being patient and being led on. According to Cap, he knows that I'm a good woman and he wants me in his life PERIOD. That's why we're still trying.

Last night I had a talk with him. I told him what I want from him is a monogamous and committed relationship and if he can't give me that, I must move on. He says he doesn't want to let me go, is NOT going through a mid-life crisis and not trying to see if there's something better out there because he wants me.

See, this is something that you should have discussed befor the relationship got more involved.