I don’t know how to play hard to get with a man. Is this important in the beginning phase of dating?

So they say men like a challenge and that’s my problem. When I like someone, I like him. Period.

Why do I have to pretend I don’t want to see him or text him if I really want to?

I hate playing games and I prefer to be straightforward and transparent but still, men seem to prefer doing all the work.

I have attempted to make the first move a couple of times and men seem to lose interest. Not necessary asking them out or telling them I like them, but just talking to them first instead of waiting for them to come to me.

Why are men scared of women who are straightforward? I would like to be a challenge but I will have to pretend to be something I’m not.

Posted by Rainbow87

So they say men like a challenge and that’s my problem. When I like someone, I like him. Period.

Why do I have to pretend I don’t want to see him or text him if I really want to?

I hate playing games and I prefer to be straightforward and transparent but still, men seem to prefer doing all the work.

I have attempted to make the first move a couple of times and men seem to lose interest. Not necessary asking them out or telling them I like them, but just talking to them first instead of waiting for them to come to me.

Why are men scared of women who are straightforward? I would like to be a challenge but I will have to pretend to be something I’m not.

Don’t listen to anybody! You are absolutely right.

I say no bullshit given and none is taken!

Just like you I had always gone against all odds and have never been cheated on and never been single since I was 13 y/old. I am 55. So you see.

My ‘new’ man is Aries and they like to chase but I ‘outchased’ him. Lmao

We are still laughing. He said it was strange but he was up to playing my game. And I didn’t have game. I was just being me. If sex is good - we can think about further arrangements. Right?

Don’t change. There are plenty of same kind and they are here bitching and moaning and getting old. Trust me. I am listening to them since 2009.

Be happy and stay unique!

watch some feminist tiktok, and don't worry about silly little problems. These are other peoples problems, just focus on your own problems, again this shit... is not your problem.

Posted by WarAngel

Men like to hunt/pursue their prey. If you come on strong in the beginning, they'll lose interest. You'll take the fun out of it.

Initially, he does most of the pursuing, after a date or 2, it goes to 50/50.

Like you don’t know men who aren’t able to pursue…common. Not all men born masculine.

But even those who are - I can attest - like change of the scenario.

Well if you can’t pretend just be genuinely too busy to pay attention to them

Posted by WarAngel

Posted by GemiMay

Posted by WarAngel

Men like to hunt/pursue their prey. If you come on strong in the beginning, they'll lose interest. You'll take the fun out of it.

Initially, he does most of the pursuing, after a date or 2, it goes to 50/50.

Like you don’t know men who aren’t able to pursue…common. Not all men born masculine.

But even those who are - I can attest - like change of the scenario.

Maybe that's why most women have trouble holding on to a dude. 🤷🏻‍♂️

click to expand

Why do you say ‘most’? Divorces are 50/50 out of which 80% initiated by women.

It is just dudes don’t normally brag about being dumped when women like to play victims and tell double to real shit 😂

we have somewhat the opposite problem. even when i'm super interested, i never look like i am. and i tend to say 'no' by default on things other than like say if you want dinner, coffee or a movie it's okay but drinks will go too far if i feel i don't know you enough. nature trips or travel i might like but partly coz i can still run to safety and there are other people around to see us.

it's partly coz i'm a bit shy but also partly coz i watch too many crime docus. i try never to place myself in situations where i feel i can be threatened, coerced, cornered, overpowered, or my state of mind altered by any substance unless i've known you a bit longer.

but there are men who are actually good at making you feel comfortable with them. like they understand you need to feel safe around them. and i usually feel safe around energies of capricorn sadly.

there are men who eventually give up when they feel rejected enough times too (and oddly enough, fire signs quit on me pretty quickly). this why i find them impatient and high-maintenace.

Leo moon tells me it's not being straight forward that's the issue its probably too much too soon.

"LETS GET MARRIED, LETS HAVE TWELVE KIDS, LETS BUY A FAMILY VAN"

Is this you—?? if it is SLOW DOWN!

Posted by Weeds

Leo moon tells me it's not being straight forward that's the issue its probably too much too soon.

"LETS GET MARRIED, LETS HAVE TWELVE KIDS, LETS BUY A FAMILY VAN"

Is this you—?? if it is SLOW DOWN!

🤣🤣

there's this taurus sun/pisces moon with aries placements that told me even before our first official date that our eventual relationship will prob turn into an LDR but that it's okay coz it will benefit us both. so i blocked him coz i don't want a forecast of the future. and that doesn't sound like the greatest romantic pitch to me.

i prefer guys with the convo levels of: "do you like smooth peanut butter or chunky peanut butter?"

baby steps.

also me on the first date: "just so you know, i prob can't give you kids."

Posted by virgoOPPP

we have somewhat the opposite problem. even when i'm super interested, i never look like i am. and i tend to say 'no' by default on things other than like say if you want dinner, coffee or a movie it's okay but drinks will go too far if i feel i don't know you enough. nature trips or travel i might like but partly coz i can still run to safety and there are other people around to see us.

it's partly coz i'm a bit shy but also partly coz i watch too many crime docus. i try never to place myself in situations where i feel i can be threatened, coerced, cornered, overpowered, or my state of mind altered by any substance unless i've known you a bit longer.

but there are men who are actually good at making you feel comfortable with them. like they understand you need to feel safe around them. and i usually feel safe around energies of capricorn sadly.

there are men who eventually give up when they feel rejected enough times too (and oddly enough, fire signs quit on me pretty quickly). this why i find them impatient and high-maintenace.

Oh yeah, fire sign guys will drop you like a hot potato unless you reciprocate directly and quickly. Show some passion.

I am the same way. I am too impatient for games.

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by virgoOPPP

we have somewhat the opposite problem. even when i'm super interested, i never look like i am. and i tend to say 'no' by default on things other than like say if you want dinner, coffee or a movie it's okay but drinks will go too far if i feel i don't know you enough. nature trips or travel i might like but partly coz i can still run to safety and there are other people around to see us.

it's partly coz i'm a bit shy but also partly coz i watch too many crime docus. i try never to place myself in situations where i feel i can be threatened, coerced, cornered, overpowered, or my state of mind altered by any substance unless i've known you a bit longer.

but there are men who are actually good at making you feel comfortable with them. like they understand you need to feel safe around them. and i usually feel safe around energies of capricorn sadly.

there are men who eventually give up when they feel rejected enough times too (and oddly enough, fire signs quit on me pretty quickly). this why i find them impatient and high-maintenace.

Oh yeah, fire sign guys will drop you like a hot potato unless you reciprocate directly and quickly. Show some passion.

I am the same way. I am too impatient for games.

click to expand

i'm not trying to play games tho

just being cautious

Posted by Rainbow87

So they say men like a challenge and that’s my problem. When I like someone, I like him. Period.

Why do I have to pretend I don’t want to see him or text him if I really want to?

I hate playing games and I prefer to be straightforward and transparent but still, men seem to prefer doing all the work.

I have attempted to make the first move a couple of times and men seem to lose interest. Not necessary asking them out or telling them I like them, but just talking to them first instead of waiting for them to come to me.

Why are men scared of women who are straightforward? I would like to be a challenge but I will have to pretend to be something I’m not.

Some men love direct women, trust me.

You gotta feel their vibe first and then adapt to it. But only if you truly can and want to do that much. Some connections aren’t worth that much effort.

It’s pretty much like dancing…he takes one step, you take one step. Back and forth.

Put your cancer planets to good use employing cancer intuition and tone down your leo placements a bit (depending on the guy).

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by virgoOPPP

we have somewhat the opposite problem. even when i'm super interested, i never look like i am. and i tend to say 'no' by default on things other than like say if you want dinner, coffee or a movie it's okay but drinks will go too far if i feel i don't know you enough. nature trips or travel i might like but partly coz i can still run to safety and there are other people around to see us.

it's partly coz i'm a bit shy but also partly coz i watch too many crime docus. i try never to place myself in situations where i feel i can be threatened, coerced, cornered, overpowered, or my state of mind altered by any substance unless i've known you a bit longer.

but there are men who are actually good at making you feel comfortable with them. like they understand you need to feel safe around them. and i usually feel safe around energies of capricorn sadly.

there are men who eventually give up when they feel rejected enough times too (and oddly enough, fire signs quit on me pretty quickly). this why i find them impatient and high-maintenace.

Oh yeah, fire sign guys will drop you like a hot potato unless you reciprocate directly and quickly. Show some passion.

I am the same way. I am too impatient for games.

i'm not trying to play games tho

just being cautious

click to expand

You can never be cautious enough. I hope you didn’t have some bad experiences.

Posted by Jan12girl

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by virgoOPPP

we have somewhat the opposite problem. even when i'm super interested, i never look like i am. and i tend to say 'no' by default on things other than like say if you want dinner, coffee or a movie it's okay but drinks will go too far if i feel i don't know you enough. nature trips or travel i might like but partly coz i can still run to safety and there are other people around to see us.

it's partly coz i'm a bit shy but also partly coz i watch too many crime docus. i try never to place myself in situations where i feel i can be threatened, coerced, cornered, overpowered, or my state of mind altered by any substance unless i've known you a bit longer.

but there are men who are actually good at making you feel comfortable with them. like they understand you need to feel safe around them. and i usually feel safe around energies of capricorn sadly.

there are men who eventually give up when they feel rejected enough times too (and oddly enough, fire signs quit on me pretty quickly). this why i find them impatient and high-maintenace.

Oh yeah, fire sign guys will drop you like a hot potato unless you reciprocate directly and quickly. Show some passion.

I am the same way. I am too impatient for games.

Yes i dont like games too. Thats why it was so refreshing with a leo . (specially after a scorpio)

click to expand

Yep. First and last time I dated a Scorpio was in 2011. After him, I dated a Leo and then my current Leo (now ex). I am expecting Leo # 3 soon 😛

Posted by Jan12girl

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by Jan12girl

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by virgoOPPP

we have somewhat the opposite problem. even when i'm super interested, i never look like i am. and i tend to say 'no' by default on things other than like say if you want dinner, coffee or a movie it's okay but drinks will go too far if i feel i don't know you enough. nature trips or travel i might like but partly coz i can still run to safety and there are other people around to see us.

it's partly coz i'm a bit shy but also partly coz i watch too many crime docus. i try never to place myself in situations where i feel i can be threatened, coerced, cornered, overpowered, or my state of mind altered by any substance unless i've known you a bit longer.

but there are men who are actually good at making you feel comfortable with them. like they understand you need to feel safe around them. and i usually feel safe around energies of capricorn sadly.

there are men who eventually give up when they feel rejected enough times too (and oddly enough, fire signs quit on me pretty quickly). this why i find them impatient and high-maintenace.

Oh yeah, fire sign guys will drop you like a hot potato unless you reciprocate directly and quickly. Show some passion.

I am the same way. I am too impatient for games.

Yes i dont like games too. Thats why it was so refreshing with a leo . (specially after a scorpio)

Yep. First and last time I dated a Scorpio was in 2011. After him, I dated a Leo and then my current Leo (now ex). I am expecting Leo # 3 soon 😛

haha .

There is a funny interchange of people between these 2 signs and i wonder why. May be they both like similar kind of people .

click to expand

I am not sure I understand? Which 2 people?

Posted by Jan12girl

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by Jan12girl

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by Jan12girl

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by virgoOPPP

we have somewhat the opposite problem. even when i'm super interested, i never look like i am. and i tend to say 'no' by default on things other than like say if you want dinner, coffee or a movie it's okay but drinks will go too far if i feel i don't know you enough. nature trips or travel i might like but partly coz i can still run to safety and there are other people around to see us.

it's partly coz i'm a bit shy but also partly coz i watch too many crime docus. i try never to place myself in situations where i feel i can be threatened, coerced, cornered, overpowered, or my state of mind altered by any substance unless i've known you a bit longer.

but there are men who are actually good at making you feel comfortable with them. like they understand you need to feel safe around them. and i usually feel safe around energies of capricorn sadly.

there are men who eventually give up when they feel rejected enough times too (and oddly enough, fire signs quit on me pretty quickly). this why i find them impatient and high-maintenace.

Oh yeah, fire sign guys will drop you like a hot potato unless you reciprocate directly and quickly. Show some passion.

I am the same way. I am too impatient for games.

Yes i dont like games too. Thats why it was so refreshing with a leo . (specially after a scorpio)

Yep. First and last time I dated a Scorpio was in 2011. After him, I dated a Leo and then my current Leo (now ex). I am expecting Leo # 3 soon 😛

haha .

There is a funny interchange of people between these 2 signs and i wonder why. May be they both like similar kind of people .

I am not sure I understand? Which 2 people?

Scorpio and leos. A lot of people i have noticed end up having a strong connect or dating scorpio first and then leo or vice versa.

click to expand

Maybe it is all coincidence.

But I would say they are both intense people, however, for me Leo is more passionate, spontaneous and fun. Leo comes from the heart and Scorpio seems to come from a weird, dark place.

It was like a ray of sunshine after a long, cold winter. Leos are better kissers too ☺️

Just a better vibe for me.

Different strokes for different folks. There will by shy guys fearful of rejection who will appreciate that, and then there’s guys that derive a sense of pride from pursuing and attaining the girl through their efforts who will not appreciate that.

Having said that, I made the 1st move with one shy dude and I learned my lesson pretty quick. Always let the guy take the lead irrespective of how shy he is. It will show his interest. Most guys won’t say no to women. Even if they aren’t interested in you, they will keep you as an option. Letting the guy take the lead shows his level of interest in you and it prevents you from getting with a lazy dude who expects his girl to lead for everything.

Posted by aquarius09

Different strokes for different folks. There will by shy guys fearful of rejection who will appreciate that, and then there’s guys that derive a sense of pride from pursuing and attaining the girl through their efforts who will not appreciate that.

Having said that, I made the 1st move with one shy dude and I learned my lesson pretty quick. Always let the guy take the lead irrespective of how shy he is. It will show his interest. Most guys won’t say no to women. Even if they aren’t interested in you, they will keep you as an option. Letting the guy take the lead shows his level of interest in you and it prevents you from getting with a lazy dude who expects his girl to lead for everything.

A better argument has never been made to help me with my impulsivity lol. 💯

Posted by alexscaries

I think the issue is what if he doesn't know. Met people male and female who chat and flirt for fun with no expectations.

Yeah but can it ever truly be with no expectations? There is always one side who feels and wants more. I am fine with no expectations and having a friendly flirt though 😀

Posted by Libraandgenerous

Maybe you should consider another type of guys who are not into dating games and less likely to do the first move. It's all about who you are targeting.

I'm into guys who get the hint and like to chase so I most likely just throw a bone and see what happens, if a guy does not catch that then he's simply not my type.

Yeah, really. Who wants some passive-aggressive guy who can’t even let a woman know he wants her? Who has time for that when there are many other opportunities to explore?

Games are for immature people. If you want to play games then the people you attract are gonna be on that vibe.

I vote be yourself. Text when you want, call when you want.

It’s always wild to me when women are scared to call the guy. His dick has been inside you…multiple times! But speaking on the phone is too scary? So backwards 🤣

Posted by alexscaries

Posted by LadyNeptune

It’s always wild to me when women are scared to call the guy. His dick has been inside you…multiple times! But speaking on the phone is too scary? So backwards 🤣

Different levels. I personally would be more nervous going on a formal dinner date with someone than being naked in front of a stranger.

click to expand

(Un) fortunately, people have become desensitized to sex. It used to be a sacred act.

Posted by aquarius09

Different strokes for different folks. There will by shy guys fearful of rejection who will appreciate that, and then there’s guys that derive a sense of pride from pursuing and attaining the girl through their efforts who will not appreciate that.

Having said that, I made the 1st move with one shy dude and I learned my lesson pretty quick. Always let the guy take the lead irrespective of how shy he is. It will show his interest. Most guys won’t say no to women. Even if they aren’t interested in you, they will keep you as an option. Letting the guy take the lead shows his level of interest in you and it prevents you from getting with a lazy dude who expects his girl to lead for everything.

Exactly this

Posted by WarAngel

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by alexscaries

Posted by LadyNeptune

It’s always wild to me when women are scared to call the guy. His dick has been inside you…multiple times! But speaking on the phone is too scary? So backwards 🤣

Different levels. I personally would be more nervous going on a formal dinner date with someone than being naked in front of a stranger.

(Un) fortunately, people have become desensitized to sex. It used to be a sacred act.

It still is to some of us. Primo bonding time!

click to expand

I am only looking for sacred sex from now on.

Posted by Rainbow87

So they say men like a challenge and that’s my problem. When I like someone, I like him. Period.

Why do I have to pretend I don’t want to see him or text him if I really want to?

I hate playing games and I prefer to be straightforward and transparent but still, men seem to prefer doing all the work.

I have attempted to make the first move a couple of times and men seem to lose interest. Not necessary asking them out or telling them I like them, but just talking to them first instead of waiting for them to come to me.

Why are men scared of women who are straightforward? I would like to be a challenge but I will have to pretend to be something I’m not.

I am not sure this is true for all men, as I haven't had an issue with this approach when the time called for it. However if this is your experience then perhaps simple try to find a balance between being assertive, while allowing things to play out (e.g. allow him to come to you). What you're defining as "straightforward" may be perceived as "aggressive" to particular types of men.

I think various stages of the interaction also play a large role in when you should push ahead with all your straightforwardness or simple fall back and see where his interest level is. Basically, read your target and move accordingly.

Posted by Weeds

Leo moon tells me it's not being straight forward that's the issue its probably too much too soon....

I was thinking the same....that and coming on a lot stronger than she thinks she actually is.

Posted by WarAngel

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by WarAngel

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by alexscaries

Posted by LadyNeptune

It’s always wild to me when women are scared to call the guy. His dick has been inside you…multiple times! But speaking on the phone is too scary? So backwards 🤣

Different levels. I personally would be more nervous going on a formal dinner date with someone than being naked in front of a stranger.

(Un) fortunately, people have become desensitized to sex. It used to be a sacred act.

It still is to some of us. Primo bonding time!

I am only looking for sacred sex from now on.

You aren't getting that from Scorpio/Sagittarius Pluto generations. 🤣

click to expand

So what should I look for? Leo/Virgo guys?

Posted by Libraandgenerous

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by Libraandgenerous

Maybe you should consider another type of guys who are not into dating games and less likely to do the first move. It's all about who you are targeting.

I'm into guys who get the hint and like to chase so I most likely just throw a bone and see what happens, if a guy does not catch that then he's simply not my type.

Yeah, really. Who wants some passive-aggressive guy who can’t even let a woman know he wants her? Who has time for that when there are many other opportunities to explore?

To each their own maybe I know some women who like a passive aggressive guy, they like to do the chase,

Maybe OP needs to work on her flirting skills?when I was younger I used to have this issue, show too much interest that it scares the guy off.

How do you usually show that you are into a guy? Can u give us an example?

@Rainbow87

click to expand

True. Some women love the chase and to be like a guy. It doesn’t phase them. I have friends like this, and some even in very happy relationships/marriages. As long as she is the one wearing the pants and a guy obliges.

Posted by WarAngel

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by WarAngel

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by WarAngel

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by alexscaries

Posted by LadyNeptune

It’s always wild to me when women are scared to call the guy. His dick has been inside you…multiple times! But speaking on the phone is too scary? So backwards 🤣

Different levels. I personally would be more nervous going on a formal dinner date with someone than being naked in front of a stranger.

(Un) fortunately, people have become desensitized to sex. It used to be a sacred act.

It still is to some of us. Primo bonding time!

I am only looking for sacred sex from now on.

You aren't getting that from Scorpio/Sagittarius Pluto generations. 🤣

So what should I look for? Leo/Virgo guys?

That depends on how horny you are when you find a target. 🤷🏻‍♂️

click to expand

Lol. War angel, you are being naughty!

Posted by alexscaries

Posted by LadyNeptune

It’s always wild to me when women are scared to call the guy. His dick has been inside you…multiple times! But speaking on the phone is too scary? So backwards 🤣

Different levels. I personally would be more nervous going on a formal dinner date with someone than being naked in front of a stranger.

click to expand

But why?

Tell me about whats nerve racking about a dinner.

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by Weeds

Leo moon tells me it's not being straight forward that's the issue its probably too much too soon....

I was thinking the same....that and coming on a lot stronger than she thinks she actually is.

click to expand

Only if we truly like the guy.

Posted by alexscaries

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by alexscaries

Posted by LadyNeptune

It’s always wild to me when women are scared to call the guy. His dick has been inside you…multiple times! But speaking on the phone is too scary? So backwards 🤣

Different levels. I personally would be more nervous going on a formal dinner date with someone than being naked in front of a stranger.

But why?

Tell me about whats nerve racking about a dinner.

I don't like dressing up, I'm only neat and tidy and own suits, but don't really wear "going out" clothes. Not big on idle chatter. Out of practise with it as well.

Would rather do things in reverse.

click to expand

Well that just goes back to the 'be yourself' bit. If formal dinners are not your vibe then let it be known.

I don't believe in putting on a front to impress the other person or cater to what you think they want. Just be yourself. If they can't accept that you like a more casual vibe then its probably not a fit and you both can go your separate ways without wasting any more time.

I once went out with a guy, first date, casual bar hopping and dinner. He kept commenting on the way I was dressed saying I would look better in a sundress. It was winter here so 60 degrees and ocean breeze... I was in jeans and a leather jacket. There was no 2nd date. Like imma be comfy and warm, fuck your sundresses... there is no sun out.

Posted by WarAngel

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by WarAngel

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by WarAngel

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by WarAngel

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by alexscaries

Posted by LadyNeptune

It’s always wild to me when women are scared to call the guy. His dick has been inside you…multiple times! But speaking on the phone is too scary? So backwards 🤣

Different levels. I personally would be more nervous going on a formal dinner date with someone than being naked in front of a stranger.

(Un) fortunately, people have become desensitized to sex. It used to be a sacred act.

It still is to some of us. Primo bonding time!

I am only looking for sacred sex from now on.

You aren't getting that from Scorpio/Sagittarius Pluto generations. 🤣

So what should I look for? Leo/Virgo guys?

That depends on how horny you are when you find a target. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Lol. War angel, you are being naughty!

Maybe. I'm not wrong though!

click to expand

You know me too well.

Posted by Libraandgenerous

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by alexscaries

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by alexscaries

Posted by LadyNeptune

It’s always wild to me when women are scared to call the guy. His dick has been inside you…multiple times! But speaking on the phone is too scary? So backwards 🤣

Different levels. I personally would be more nervous going on a formal dinner date with someone than being naked in front of a stranger.

But why?

Tell me about whats nerve racking about a dinner.

I don't like dressing up, I'm only neat and tidy and own suits, but don't really wear "going out" clothes. Not big on idle chatter. Out of practise with it as well.

Would rather do things in reverse.

Well that just goes back to the 'be yourself' bit. If formal dinners are not your vibe then let it be known.

I don't believe in putting on a front to impress the other person or cater to what you think they want. Just be yourself. If they can't accept that you like a more casual vibe then its probably not a fit and you both can go your separate ways without wasting any more time.

I once went out with a guy, first date, casual bar hopping and dinner. He kept commenting on the way I was dressed saying I would look better in a sundress. It was winter here so 60 degrees and ocean breeze... I was in jeans and a leather jacket. There was no 2nd date. Like imma be comfy and warm, fuck your sundresses... there is no sun out.

What you said has some truth in it but doesn't always work, the "be yourself" will only leave you alone most of the time if you're not willing to put on some effort and read people carefully, it's cool to be yourself and not over think things but it's not always cool to show some sides to yourself that might turn off other people.

click to expand

They are gonna see those sides eventually. Its a kindness to both yourself and them to lead with authenticity before time and feelings are invested. I'm not trying to change myself to fit a mold. Take me as I am, I'll take you as you are.

Posted by ImperfectStorm

I am too damn old to play games or play hard to get.

But at the same time I think it’s important to maintain a healthy balance in relationships. If I sense that I am always the one reaching out and initiating contact then there is an obvious imbalance. In that case I will try to shift my energy and focus onto something else to occupy my time until they reach out and reciprocate.

Games are not the answer but maintaining a healthy balance and reciprocity is. It’s like a dance… you step, I step. Sometimes I have to remind myself to pace myself and not get too involved too quickly.

👆This. Match their effort. If they're not putting any effort in I would just take it as a sign that they're not interested and move on.

Posted by GemiMay

Posted by WarAngel

Men like to hunt/pursue their prey. If you come on strong in the beginning, they'll lose interest. You'll take the fun out of it.

Initially, he does most of the pursuing, after a date or 2, it goes to 50/50.

Like you don’t know men who aren’t able to pursue…common. Not all men born masculine.

But even those who are - I can attest - like change of the scenario.

click to expand

I agree, there are men that like to chase and men that like to pursue, but I also agree with War, it will depend after the first few dates. Most chase and get lazy, if they like to be pursued.

I think there needs to be a match of pursuer/chaser and receiver, so it's balanced.

That's with either sex.

2 people who like to pursue lose interest, as well and 2 people that like being chased (this barely gets off the ground and leads no where)

Posted by Libraandgenerous

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Libraandgenerous

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by alexscaries

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by alexscaries

Posted by LadyNeptune

It’s always wild to me when women are scared to call the guy. His dick has been inside you…multiple times! But speaking on the phone is too scary? So backwards 🤣

Different levels. I personally would be more nervous going on a formal dinner date with someone than being naked in front of a stranger.

But why?

Tell me about whats nerve racking about a dinner.

I don't like dressing up, I'm only neat and tidy and own suits, but don't really wear "going out" clothes. Not big on idle chatter. Out of practise with it as well.

Would rather do things in reverse.

Well that just goes back to the 'be yourself' bit. If formal dinners are not your vibe then let it be known.

I don't believe in putting on a front to impress the other person or cater to what you think they want. Just be yourself. If they can't accept that you like a more casual vibe then its probably not a fit and you both can go your separate ways without wasting any more time.

I once went out with a guy, first date, casual bar hopping and dinner. He kept commenting on the way I was dressed saying I would look better in a sundress. It was winter here so 60 degrees and ocean breeze... I was in jeans and a leather jacket. There was no 2nd date. Like imma be comfy and warm, fuck your sundresses... there is no sun out.

What you said has some truth in it but doesn't always work, the "be yourself" will only leave you alone most of the time if you're not willing to put on some effort and read people carefully, it's cool to be yourself and not over think things but it's not always cool to show some sides to yourself that might turn off other people.

They are gonna see those sides eventually. Its a kindness to both yourself and them to lead with authenticity before time and feelings are invested. I'm not trying to change myself to fit a mold. Take me as I am, I'll take you as you are.

So let's say I was filthy rich, is it sth I should be open about on the very early stages of dating? Wouldn't that put me in a vulnerable situation? They would probably then date me just for the money?

Yes there are some things that people should be honest about like having kids or illnesses, but there are also some things if you gonna show they're just gonna make your situation worse.

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Your financial situation is not a personality trait. You lost me there.

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by Weeds

Leo moon tells me it's not being straight forward that's the issue its probably too much too soon....

I was thinking the same....that and coming on a lot stronger than she thinks she actually is.

Only if we truly like the guy.

click to expand

Lol! Leo Moon please. Especially Crab babies. It's a very passionate combo.

I'm curious, what does it look like when you truly like someone vs just like someone?

Posted by Antiphates

The key is to have a relationship that makes the other person feel secure and insecure with you at the same time....

The easiest and most stable set up is to just go with what you want and feel over a prolonged time as well as the moment and communicate this. Once you get there the duality of human relationship will take it from here.

*like*

Posted by Rainbow87

So they say men like a challenge and that’s my problem. When I like someone, I like him. Period.

Why do I have to pretend I don’t want to see him or text him if I really want to?

I hate playing games and I prefer to be straightforward and transparent but still, men seem to prefer doing all the work.

I have attempted to make the first move a couple of times and men seem to lose interest. Not necessary asking them out or telling them I like them, but just talking to them first instead of waiting for them to come to me.

Why are men scared of women who are straightforward? I would like to be a challenge but I will have to pretend to be something I’m not.

Just be yourself. Its only going to cause problems if you start play-acting at being aloof and all of that. I mean you can, but he might just pursue you only long enough to smash, and then disappear. Men are not stupid. We know when someone is treating us poorly or playing games. Just be yourself and if the two of you gel, great. If not, okay, but you'll find out much sooner this way rather than acting a certain way.

Posted by Libraandgenerous

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Libraandgenerous

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Libraandgenerous

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by alexscaries

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by alexscaries

Posted by LadyNeptune

It’s always wild to me when women are scared to call the guy. His dick has been inside you…multiple times! But speaking on the phone is too scary? So backwards 🤣

Different levels. I personally would be more nervous going on a formal dinner date with someone than being naked in front of a stranger.

But why?

Tell me about whats nerve racking about a dinner.

I don't like dressing up, I'm only neat and tidy and own suits, but don't really wear "going out" clothes. Not big on idle chatter. Out of practise with it as well.

Would rather do things in reverse.

Well that just goes back to the 'be yourself' bit. If formal dinners are not your vibe then let it be known.

I don't believe in putting on a front to impress the other person or cater to what you think they want. Just be yourself. If they can't accept that you like a more casual vibe then its probably not a fit and you both can go your separate ways without wasting any more time.

I once went out with a guy, first date, casual bar hopping and dinner. He kept commenting on the way I was dressed saying I would look better in a sundress. It was winter here so 60 degrees and ocean breeze... I was in jeans and a leather jacket. There was no 2nd date. Like imma be comfy and warm, fuck your sundresses... there is no sun out.

What you said has some truth in it but doesn't always work, the "be yourself" will only leave you alone most of the time if you're not willing to put on some effort and read people carefully, it's cool to be yourself and not over think things but it's not always cool to show some sides to yourself that might turn off other people.

They are gonna see those sides eventually. Its a kindness to both yourself and them to lead with authenticity before time and feelings are invested. I'm not trying to change myself to fit a mold. Take me as I am, I'll take you as you are.

So let's say I was filthy rich, is it sth I should be open about on the very early stages of dating? Wouldn't that put me in a vulnerable situation? They would probably then date me just for the money?

Yes there are some things that people should be honest about like having kids or illnesses, but there are also some things if you gonna show they're just gonna make your situation worse.

Your financial situation is not a personality trait. You lost me there.

So you'd be honest about being let's say a lazy person if you were in a date with someone who you would consider to be a catch? Or you would probably change your strategies and consider maybe work on yourself?

Again it all depends on what you're sharing and who are you sharing it with.

Some things are better be kept to yourself. But that's just my opinion.

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Ok I think there is some wires crossed here. I never said to overshare. Getting to know someone and whether they are 'a catch' comes with time.

What I am saying is be yourself.

In the op's case, wanting to call or text their love interest but feeling the need to 'play games' aka wait a specific amount of time to communicate so as to not come off too strong or over interested and scare the person off.

If being yourself and showing interest is enough to scare the person off then that is for the best. Why invest time and energy into someone who finds your interest a turn off? Let that person go, cause the right one will be flattered and reciprocate your interest.

Playing hard to get doesn't work because your fakeness will reveal itself. Being hard to get rarely fails.

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by Weeds

Leo moon tells me it's not being straight forward that's the issue its probably too much too soon....

I was thinking the same....that and coming on a lot stronger than she thinks she actually is.

Only if we truly like the guy.

Lol! Leo Moon please. Especially Crab babies. It's a very passionate combo.

I'm curious, what does it look like when you truly like someone vs just like someone?

click to expand

I don’t know about other Leo moons. But when I just like someone for fun I am flirty, outgoing and playful.

However, when I truly truly like someone, I shut down and become a bit shy even. I definitely wait for them to take the lead!

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by Weeds

Leo moon tells me it's not being straight forward that's the issue its probably too much too soon....

I was thinking the same....that and coming on a lot stronger than she thinks she actually is.

Only if we truly like the guy.

Lol! Leo Moon please. Especially Crab babies. It's a very passionate combo.

I'm curious, what does it look like when you truly like someone vs just like someone?

I don’t know about other Leo moons. But when I just like someone for fun I am flirty, outgoing and playful.

However, when I truly truly like someone, I shut down and become a bit shy even. I definitely wait for them to take the lead!

click to expand

Hmph. So basically you confuse the hell out of your intended lol.

I'm gonna guess you have a Water Venus BNB?

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by Weeds

Leo moon tells me it's not being straight forward that's the issue its probably too much too soon....

I was thinking the same....that and coming on a lot stronger than she thinks she actually is.

Only if we truly like the guy.

Lol! Leo Moon please. Especially Crab babies. It's a very passionate combo.

I'm curious, what does it look like when you truly like someone vs just like someone?

I don’t know about other Leo moons. But when I just like someone for fun I am flirty, outgoing and playful.

However, when I truly truly like someone, I shut down and become a bit shy even. I definitely wait for them to take the lead!

Hmph. So basically you confuse the hell out of your intended lol.

I'm gonna guess you have a Water Venus BNB?

click to expand

I have a Cancer venus. Leo mars though paired with Gemini sun. Can I be a bigger paradox? A walking contradiction.

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by Weeds

Leo moon tells me it's not being straight forward that's the issue its probably too much too soon....

I was thinking the same....that and coming on a lot stronger than she thinks she actually is.

Only if we truly like the guy.

Lol! Leo Moon please. Especially Crab babies. It's a very passionate combo.

I'm curious, what does it look like when you truly like someone vs just like someone?

I don’t know about other Leo moons. But when I just like someone for fun I am flirty, outgoing and playful.

However, when I truly truly like someone, I shut down and become a bit shy even. I definitely wait for them to take the lead!

Hmph. So basically you confuse the hell out of your intended lol.

I'm gonna guess you have a Water Venus BNB?

I have a Cancer venus. Leo mars though paired with Gemini sun. Can I be a bigger paradox? A walking contradiction.

click to expand

Well I am sure your partners are never bored.

I'd try to strangle you after 2 months, but I wouldn't be bored. My first love has many of your specs, but he has a Bull Merc.

Your Mars makes you quite passionate and playful...well at least from my experience with Leo Mars.

Posted by Krabss

i like the most when we do the first move at the same time. that's the best.

Are you pregnant yet? 🤷‍♀️

Posted by Krabss

Posted by GemiMay

Posted by Krabss

i like the most when we do the first move at the same time. that's the best.

Are you pregnant yet? 🤷‍♀️

god damn, he asked if he can do it? wtf— i was like i will kill you. like srlsy. he is insane.

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Babe…describe ‘insane’…

Posted by MareInfame

6 pages and OP still hasn’t responded…. I swear she/he’s done this before…🙄

@Rainbow87 - what’s the point of always creating threads and never responding?!? Are you a troll? Or do you get paid by DXPNET to come up with thread ideas?!?!



So weird…😑

I’m Ctfu bc they def have lol 🤦🏽‍♀️