He's out with another girl (Page 2)

Posted by Damous

Posted by DMV

Posted by Damous

Personally, I think both of you are stupid, if it's any consolation. UNLESS, you specifically told him you'd like to see each other exclusively. Did you tell him if you are or aren't talking to others? If you didn't, assume he assumes you're seeing others as well. He's also insecure obviously. In which case, unless you can deal with that and he can work on improving himself, why bother anyway?

If you did indeed tell him you're not talking to others and you'd like exclusivity, he is entirely the asshole. If not, you'd better start doing that shit if you want things to work for you.

How did you react to his sweet nothings? Sorry if it's in the last few pages, rushing this and haven't back-read.

No worries 😀

Lol @calling me stupid

After he said that he thinks of me, I was very feely and felt a rush of desire.

I told him that we have a legit connection and I used a pet name,1st time ever.

On the very first date, I wanted him to know I wasnt here for the shyts.

I told him that I like him and felt deeplyfor him. Not your typical first date convo.

I talked about us creating together. Merging.

I even told him....I asked a pyshic about him.

I even let him listen to the recording of her talking about him and I and all the feelings going on. He heard in the tape, me telling a complete stranger how I think of him, how he makes me feel. The good qualities in him seen and unseen.

The psychic brought up me being drawn to him. She also said that the past was pulling at me.

Me and him talked about our past.

I told him.about a guy who had been in and out of my life but I wasnt interested in the past. I saw a future with him.

I told him that I wanted to grow with him.

I put so much of myself out there on the 1st date with no assurance that he would feel the same.

I sounded like a crazed person being so drawn to him.

Maybe he is drunk and addicted to my dramatic displays of assurance for him and how I feel about him.

So much so that he acts out because he wants to get his assurance fix.

You told him you talked to a psychic about him. You told him you felt deeply for him. You told him you wanted merge. Please tell me exactly why you think asking for exclusivity to see if you’d like to continue things, is crazy. I’m completely lost. It’s okay to tell him you feel for him DEEPLY, but not to say hey since I feel this way and it seems like you do as well, can we be exclusive and date more and see if we want a relationship?

I’m lost with you DMV. You went way ahead, then backed up by not trying to lock him down, IMO. You said things and then your actions didn’t match it. You can give up, or you could be like hey I’m confused on how you feel and I’d just like to know. I like you and I’d like to be exclusive to see if we would want a relationship. Is that something you would want to do?

Bam. You’re gonna get an answer no matter what. Doesn’t respond? There’s your answer. He tells you yes or no, there’s your answer.

click to expand

My actions did back it up.

I stayed in daily communication with him. I planned the dates. I was very supportive of him, his career.

Even though he said he wanted to get closer to me, I was doing all the work.

What you mean?

I think it's a bit unfair to make the association that me feeling deeply for him and wanting to also take things slow means that my actions dont back up what I said.

I even told him that I was taking things slow and would heat up after class.

Yes, I will be asking him how he is feeling emotionally about me on Friday.

Like I said previously, class is over and I'm not worried about bringing any drama into my career.

He could have needed more emotionally and physically, but I didnt sense that.

In fact. He stayed hugging me every chance he got in class.

So him being like this on social.media is him trying to force my hand. When he could take a page from my book and idk ask me out.

We will get some answers tho.

Posted by DMV

Posted by VenusAquarius

I would be turned off. His behavior is emotionally selfish and bitch-ass manipulative. After laying it on the line like you did, he'd have to completely fall on his sword to get me to notice him.

There's not even a benefit to casually date him. But, that's an alternative, casually date him until he bores you, or you're satisfied somehow. #1 it allows you to learn detachment even in intimacy. #2 you can backdoor investigate on a psychological level why he behaved so duplicitously. Once you have your answers, you can drop him like you don't know him or, if you find the source of his behavior excusable, you can grant him a reprieve... closure to the foibles of Chapter 1, titled, "Getting to Know Him."

So, his strike one is over. However, strike #1 should make you resistant to exclusivity. Or, you may consider him not paying strike #1?

My gut tells me something happened in class and he is misreading you which makes him jealous and dumb. Turn off numbers 1 and 2 for me.

So now, in Gemini fashion, the dumb ass thinks he's mirroring you. You need to playback the tape.

Thank you.

Unfortunately I am a bit jaded but still do carry some inkling of a torch or hope.

Yes, taking the time to scientific method all of this is alluring.

I have been thinking about what may have happened in class.

I didnt have any love scenes but he had several. I didn't trip.

I even acknowledged the good work he was doing his partners.

When he said he was fearful I would dump him for a black guy, I told him that we have to have each others backs in this acting world. Why would i want to be with someone who didnt know me through the struggle years. Why would I want to be with someone who only knows the poppin side of me. They weren't there for all the nos, rejection and heartbreak.

I told him that we have to be secure with each other and know that it's just a role. I told him that hes going to have hundreds of fans in love with him and they're all going to tell him all the reasons why he shouldn't be with me. But we both have to be stronger than that.

I told him look at Cardi.B, and the millions of people who tell her what to do with her relationship.

But we gotta keep it real with each other.

click to expand

This one isn't on you. Something's wrong with that child. I can't assume that you did most of the talking. Even then, you needed to. But, I wonder how much substance is behind his words. Watch him, study him, then watch him some more.

As a person who's never jealous, sometimes I find that men have been insecure as a result and played games to "test" what they see as unbelievable "confidence." Nah son, I'm just very mature, content, happy.

Some have watched too many episodes of Housewives of Atlanta or Love & Hip Hop and stereotyped their asses to the curb... you know what I mean. 'Spected you to throw chairs n' shit.

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by DMV

Posted by VenusAquarius

I would be turned off. His behavior is emotionally selfish and bitch-ass manipulative. After laying it on the line like you did, he'd have to completely fall on his sword to get me to notice him.

There's not even a benefit to casually date him. But, that's an alternative, casually date him until he bores you, or you're satisfied somehow. #1 it allows you to learn detachment even in intimacy. #2 you can backdoor investigate on a psychological level why he behaved so duplicitously. Once you have your answers, you can drop him like you don't know him or, if you find the source of his behavior excusable, you can grant him a reprieve... closure to the foibles of Chapter 1, titled, "Getting to Know Him."

So, his strike one is over. However, strike #1 should make you resistant to exclusivity. Or, you may consider him not paying strike #1?

My gut tells me something happened in class and he is misreading you which makes him jealous and dumb. Turn off numbers 1 and 2 for me.

So now, in Gemini fashion, the dumb ass thinks he's mirroring you. You need to playback the tape.

Thank you.

Unfortunately I am a bit jaded but still do carry some inkling of a torch or hope.

Yes, taking the time to scientific method all of this is alluring.

I have been thinking about what may have happened in class.

I didnt have any love scenes but he had several. I didn't trip.

I even acknowledged the good work he was doing his partners.

When he said he was fearful I would dump him for a black guy, I told him that we have to have each others backs in this acting world. Why would i want to be with someone who didnt know me through the struggle years. Why would I want to be with someone who only knows the poppin side of me. They weren't there for all the nos, rejection and heartbreak.

I told him that we have to be secure with each other and know that it's just a role. I told him that hes going to have hundreds of fans in love with him and they're all going to tell him all the reasons why he shouldn't be with me. But we both have to be stronger than that.

I told him look at Cardi.B, and the millions of people who tell her what to do with her relationship.

But we gotta keep it real with each other.

This one isn't on you. Something's wrong with that child. I can't assume that you did most of the talking. Even then, you needed to. But, I wonder how much substance is behind his words. Watch him, study him, then watch him some more.

As a person who's never jealous, sometimes I find that men have been insecure as a result and played games to "test" what they see as unbelievable "confidence." Nah son, I'm just very mature, content, happy.

Some have watched too many episodes of Housewives of Atlanta or Love & Hip Hop and stereotyped their asses to the curb... you know what I mean. 'Spected you to throw chairs n' shit.

click to expand

Right!!! Too much TV

I'm in an awesome place in my life.

Confident, fulfilled, mind my business, and supportive of others goals and dreams.

Hmmmmm.....

Who knows why people do the things they do.

In some ways it's almost pointless to wonder because it's just speculation



Was exclusivity talked about?

Posted by Lalalo

Posted by pisceanloves

Posted by DMV

Posted by pisceanloves

Here girl. Right now I'm dealing with a capricorn, we had a talk about relationship, he says we need to hang out a few more times. He moved closer to me, 1 hour between us right now. However he's still flaky, won't make plans to see me. I am the one doing all plannings and sorting things out. So 2 days ago I told him I'm going to his town on Saturday for a lantern festival and asked if we could "hang out", cause apparently "dates" doesn't work for him. Imagine him splitting a bill on our first dinner and mine was around 10 bucks. Anyways he said quote "let me check my schedule, then I'll let you know" I said okay good. Guess what? still waiting for him to confirm are we meeting tomorrow or not, plus I gave him couple of options to choose whatever is working better for him, plus he can come up with his own option and I'm willing to do my best to meet his needs. Guess what? nothing, I'm freaking hanging there not knowing anything, obviously I'm the last one on his list. We will see, I'm extremely pissed. why would someone treat you like a last minute girl, wtf . Anyways, sorry for venting, but call on his bs, you are worth more . way way more

Vent on!!!

I 2 planned the first dates and we split the bill. I died a little inside because he didnt pick up either check. It did immediately have me thinking I had been friendzoned, not worthy of his dollars. so maybe I wasnt as flirty or full throttle. But i was ok cause I didnt want feelings meddling with my class. Take it slow.

I really do try my best to learn from dxp and the stories and try different approaches. So I let him not paying not be a dealbreaker. I also wanted to try being a mans best friend first and then lover. Be friends first like people are always preaching.

Take it slow.

Dont be the crazed scorpio moon. Give people space. Dont stalk online. Dont be possessive. Dont stare. Let people have friends.

Enough with that.

I want to courted and I deserve to be courted.

I deserve some damn respect.

I am a catch dammit. Lol.

It seems like he does need more reassurance than I do, but when will the scale tip in my favor?

I feel like I am the man and I have to sweep him off his feet.

Um....

Exactly the way I feel. He wants to be "taken care of" seems like it, and what about me. He hasn't done anything for me yet, literally nothing. Splitting bill is a huge red flag for me, I don't know. Afterwards he made a stop at subway drive thru and picked up a soda for himself. Didn't even ask if I wanted anything, ask me, died inside? I exploded inside, not worthy of anything, simple politeness and respect. Yes respect comes first, he likes to brag how "rich" he is. Like really? you treat me that way and what am I even doing here. We hardly speak at all, he never asks how am I doing or where am I at, how I'm feeling, basically he doesn't care, so probably it's time to let go of. I'm tired. My dating life is a complete mess, somehow I always end up attracting jerks. If he does not show basic respect don't deal with him please. Time to wake up for both of us, I get mad at myself all the time, how much I'm willing to do for others and they literally fail to do even half of it, it's sad, very sad

With a capricorn, they are stingy unless they really care about you. You have to earn it first. When they start offering to buy you things etc, that’s when you know you have them by the balls.

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It's over. He insulted me so bad and I blocked him, it's over. Thought he cared, I pointed out splitting a bill and he said it was "gender equality" he said some other stuff I just couldn't deal with. he's gone

Posted by nanobot

Told you those gems were hoes 😏😏😏

Weren’t there a thread somewhere about it? Hmmmm...lmao

Posted by pisceanloves

Here girl. Right now I'm dealing with a capricorn, we had a talk about relationship, he says we need to hang out a few more times. He moved closer to me, 1 hour between us right now. However he's still flaky, won't make plans to see me. I am the one doing all plannings and sorting things out. So 2 days ago I told him I'm going to his town on Saturday for a lantern festival and asked if we could "hang out", cause apparently "dates" doesn't work for him. Imagine him splitting a bill on our first dinner and mine was around 10 bucks. Anyways he said quote "let me check my schedule, then I'll let you know" I said okay good. Guess what? still waiting for him to confirm are we meeting tomorrow or not, plus I gave him couple of options to choose whatever is working better for him, plus he can come up with his own option and I'm willing to do my best to meet his needs. Guess what? nothing, I'm freaking hanging there not knowing anything, obviously I'm the last one on his list. We will see, I'm extremely pissed. why would someone treat you like a last minute girl, wtf . Anyways, sorry for venting, but call on his bs, you are worth more . way way more

Because you continue to let him. He’s not that into yoi by what you described. Someone will come along and put effort into one day but you have to let this one go. Also work on your self esteem. Don’t ever let someone treat you like a last option.

Posted by DMV

Like i said, we were still in the figuring out each other stage and hes free to do him.

Maybe I'd just appreciate a little discretion.

Then no point being upset if you dont want to voice or assert your desires/expectations.

If you truly feel he can do what he wants then why be upset about it? Maybe you should do what you want too then aka date other people too if you think thats appropriate.

Men date differently than women. They like to keep their options open until something is solid.

Posted by DMV

Posted by pisceanloves

Here girl. Right now I'm dealing with a capricorn, we had a talk about relationship, he says we need to hang out a few more times. He moved closer to me, 1 hour between us right now. However he's still flaky, won't make plans to see me. I am the one doing all plannings and sorting things out. So 2 days ago I told him I'm going to his town on Saturday for a lantern festival and asked if we could "hang out", cause apparently "dates" doesn't work for him. Imagine him splitting a bill on our first dinner and mine was around 10 bucks. Anyways he said quote "let me check my schedule, then I'll let you know" I said okay good. Guess what? still waiting for him to confirm are we meeting tomorrow or not, plus I gave him couple of options to choose whatever is working better for him, plus he can come up with his own option and I'm willing to do my best to meet his needs. Guess what? nothing, I'm freaking hanging there not knowing anything, obviously I'm the last one on his list. We will see, I'm extremely pissed. why would someone treat you like a last minute girl, wtf . Anyways, sorry for venting, but call on his bs, you are worth more . way way more

Vent on!!!

I 2 planned the first dates and we split the bill. I died a little inside because he didnt pick up either check. It did immediately have me thinking I had been friendzoned, not worthy of his dollars. so maybe I wasnt as flirty or full throttle. But i was ok cause I didnt want feelings meddling with my class. Take it slow.

I really do try my best to learn from dxp and the stories and try different approaches. So I let him not paying not be a dealbreaker. I also wanted to try being a mans best friend first and then lover. Be friends first like people are always preaching.

Take it slow.

Dont be the crazed scorpio moon. Give people space. Dont stalk online. Dont be possessive. Dont stare. Let people have friends.

Enough with that.

I want to courted and I deserve to be courted.

I deserve some damn respect.

I am a catch dammit. Lol.

It seems like he does need more reassurance than I do, but when will the scale tip in my favor?

I feel like I am the man and I have to sweep him off his feet.

Um....

click to expand

Never get dolled up to go meet a man who will ask you to split the bill. If he’s interested it’s up to him to prove it. How can he do that if you picking up bills? But then again you said you asked him out. This is why I am staunchly against women pursuing men, chasing men and asking men out.

It doesn’t work. It conveys low value. It’s also masculine behavior. Did he post your date on social media? He probably posted his date with the girl because she let him pay, she let him ask her out and made him feel manly. I could be wrong but that’s the vibe.

Personally I would write him off at this point. For 2 reasons.

Posted by pisceanloves

Posted by DMV

Posted by pisceanloves

Here girl. Right now I'm dealing with a capricorn, we had a talk about relationship, he says we need to hang out a few more times. He moved closer to me, 1 hour between us right now. However he's still flaky, won't make plans to see me. I am the one doing all plannings and sorting things out. So 2 days ago I told him I'm going to his town on Saturday for a lantern festival and asked if we could "hang out", cause apparently "dates" doesn't work for him. Imagine him splitting a bill on our first dinner and mine was around 10 bucks. Anyways he said quote "let me check my schedule, then I'll let you know" I said okay good. Guess what? still waiting for him to confirm are we meeting tomorrow or not, plus I gave him couple of options to choose whatever is working better for him, plus he can come up with his own option and I'm willing to do my best to meet his needs. Guess what? nothing, I'm freaking hanging there not knowing anything, obviously I'm the last one on his list. We will see, I'm extremely pissed. why would someone treat you like a last minute girl, wtf . Anyways, sorry for venting, but call on his bs, you are worth more . way way more

Vent on!!!

I 2 planned the first dates and we split the bill. I died a little inside because he didnt pick up either check. It did immediately have me thinking I had been friendzoned, not worthy of his dollars. so maybe I wasnt as flirty or full throttle. But i was ok cause I didnt want feelings meddling with my class. Take it slow.

I really do try my best to learn from dxp and the stories and try different approaches. So I let him not paying not be a dealbreaker. I also wanted to try being a mans best friend first and then lover. Be friends first like people are always preaching.

Take it slow.

Dont be the crazed scorpio moon. Give people space. Dont stalk online. Dont be possessive. Dont stare. Let people have friends.

Enough with that.

I want to courted and I deserve to be courted.

I deserve some damn respect.

I am a catch dammit. Lol.

It seems like he does need more reassurance than I do, but when will the scale tip in my favor?

I feel like I am the man and I have to sweep him off his feet.

Um....

Exactly the way I feel. He wants to be "taken care of" seems like it, and what about me. He hasn't done anything for me yet, literally nothing. Splitting bill is a huge red flag for me, I don't know. Afterwards he made a stop at subway drive thru and picked up a soda for himself. Didn't even ask if I wanted anything, ask me, died inside? I exploded inside, not worthy of anything, simple politeness and respect. Yes respect comes first, he likes to brag how "rich" he is. Like really? you treat me that way and what am I even doing here. We hardly speak at all, he never asks how am I doing or where am I at, how I'm feeling, basically he doesn't care, so probably it's time to let go of. I'm tired. My dating life is a complete mess, somehow I always end up attracting jerks. If he does not show basic respect don't deal with him please. Time to wake up for both of us, I get mad at myself all the time, how much I'm willing to do for others and they literally fail to do even half of it, it's sad, very sad

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Hunny, You sound young and I don’t say that in a bad way at all. It’s a great thing and a great time. Go have fun.

Stop giving so much of yourself, let people prove themselves and give themselves a little to you too. Give and take. If you see that isn’t happening then walk. You don’t need them. Less jerks will stay when you love and put yourself first. Don’t take any bullshit from anyone. We can’t always help who we attract but we determine who stays.

Posted by pisceanloves

Posted by Lalalo

Posted by pisceanloves

Posted by DMV

Posted by pisceanloves

Here girl. Right now I'm dealing with a capricorn, we had a talk about relationship, he says we need to hang out a few more times. He moved closer to me, 1 hour between us right now. However he's still flaky, won't make plans to see me. I am the one doing all plannings and sorting things out. So 2 days ago I told him I'm going to his town on Saturday for a lantern festival and asked if we could "hang out", cause apparently "dates" doesn't work for him. Imagine him splitting a bill on our first dinner and mine was around 10 bucks. Anyways he said quote "let me check my schedule, then I'll let you know" I said okay good. Guess what? still waiting for him to confirm are we meeting tomorrow or not, plus I gave him couple of options to choose whatever is working better for him, plus he can come up with his own option and I'm willing to do my best to meet his needs. Guess what? nothing, I'm freaking hanging there not knowing anything, obviously I'm the last one on his list. We will see, I'm extremely pissed. why would someone treat you like a last minute girl, wtf . Anyways, sorry for venting, but call on his bs, you are worth more . way way more

Vent on!!!

I 2 planned the first dates and we split the bill. I died a little inside because he didnt pick up either check. It did immediately have me thinking I had been friendzoned, not worthy of his dollars. so maybe I wasnt as flirty or full throttle. But i was ok cause I didnt want feelings meddling with my class. Take it slow.

I really do try my best to learn from dxp and the stories and try different approaches. So I let him not paying not be a dealbreaker. I also wanted to try being a mans best friend first and then lover. Be friends first like people are always preaching.

Take it slow.

Dont be the crazed scorpio moon. Give people space. Dont stalk online. Dont be possessive. Dont stare. Let people have friends.

Enough with that.

I want to courted and I deserve to be courted.

I deserve some damn respect.

I am a catch dammit. Lol.

It seems like he does need more reassurance than I do, but when will the scale tip in my favor?

I feel like I am the man and I have to sweep him off his feet.

Um....

Exactly the way I feel. He wants to be "taken care of" seems like it, and what about me. He hasn't done anything for me yet, literally nothing. Splitting bill is a huge red flag for me, I don't know. Afterwards he made a stop at subway drive thru and picked up a soda for himself. Didn't even ask if I wanted anything, ask me, died inside? I exploded inside, not worthy of anything, simple politeness and respect. Yes respect comes first, he likes to brag how "rich" he is. Like really? you treat me that way and what am I even doing here. We hardly speak at all, he never asks how am I doing or where am I at, how I'm feeling, basically he doesn't care, so probably it's time to let go of. I'm tired. My dating life is a complete mess, somehow I always end up attracting jerks. If he does not show basic respect don't deal with him please. Time to wake up for both of us, I get mad at myself all the time, how much I'm willing to do for others and they literally fail to do even half of it, it's sad, very sad

With a capricorn, they are stingy unless they really care about you. You have to earn it first. When they start offering to buy you things etc, that’s when you know you have them by the balls.

It's over. He insulted me so bad and I blocked him, it's over. Thought he cared, I pointed out splitting a bill and he said it was "gender equality" he said some other stuff I just couldn't deal with. he's gone

click to expand

Yep. The gender equality thing.

When does it extend to dating when is it not applicable.

Answer: not applicable when you really want someone.

Makes you go hmm.

Posted by LethalFantasia

Posted by DMV

Posted by LethalFantasia

Wow what an asshole. Sorry but this is why the dating thing is hard. I don't care if we're "not official." If we're dating, WE'RE DATING EXCLUSIVELY. If you think you can date me and 1, 2 or 3 other people at the same time before picking the right one then GTFO.

I remember being on DXP and someone saying that its impossible to form connection with someone and give that someone a chance while you're dating other people.

This is so true... How can you even concentrate on more than one person at a time?

Meh, great point.

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I don´t think this is true at all.

Overall speaking.

You can go on dates and talk to multiple people and get to know them, feel them out, let them feel you out over time.

BUT it does communicate, that you are not specifically really interested in one person, you´re not really feeling it, you still want to weigh your options and all that. And I guess that´s where this guy turns into a douche, because he´s been telling you stuff, to make you think, that he was really feeling you and not weighing his options and trying new things.

How weird to post a date on social media though. Sure it´s not just a friend-date? He´s a bad player not keeping it a secret, but guess he´s doing you a favour...

Posted by Ariqua

I think exclusivity talk is bs. If we’re vibing and I have to explicitly tell you don’t disrespect my feelings by throwing another woman in my face...you’re not the one. Once we start talking about each other’s feelings you have one chance to do right. I don’t date people who date multiple people st once and there are people out there like that.

Very good point.

If the feelings are indeed real and genuine.

You should want to do that out of feelings for the other person.

You move differently.

If it is one big ol game, that is a whole other issue.

Posted by Ellygant

Yooooo. Noooooo.

Damn dmv, that’s stupid.

Is this the younger gem?

Gemini’s have this thing often times where when they get what they desire and what is fulfilling for them, they fuck it up. Virgos a little too. The mercurial energy constantly needs variance and challenge. If he’s still in a more immature part of life, he will create problems so he feels like he has a challenge to win. It’s why so many Gemini’s date Scorpios, especially when young, because we do the same shit for different reasons lol.

What’s his moon and venus?

Moon in Virgo

Venus in delicious taurus.

I said the last venus in Taurus would be my last but this season I am attracting one after the other.

Posted by bkbella86

Posted by pisceanloves

Here girl. Right now I'm dealing with a capricorn, we had a talk about relationship, he says we need to hang out a few more times. He moved closer to me, 1 hour between us right now. However he's still flaky, won't make plans to see me. I am the one doing all plannings and sorting things out. So 2 days ago I told him I'm going to his town on Saturday for a lantern festival and asked if we could "hang out", cause apparently "dates" doesn't work for him. Imagine him splitting a bill on our first dinner and mine was around 10 bucks. Anyways he said quote "let me check my schedule, then I'll let you know" I said okay good. Guess what? still waiting for him to confirm are we meeting tomorrow or not, plus I gave him couple of options to choose whatever is working better for him, plus he can come up with his own option and I'm willing to do my best to meet his needs. Guess what? nothing, I'm freaking hanging there not knowing anything, obviously I'm the last one on his list. We will see, I'm extremely pissed. why would someone treat you like a last minute girl, wtf . Anyways, sorry for venting, but call on his bs, you are worth more . way way more

Because you continue to let him. He’s not that into yoi by what you described. Someone will come along and put effort into one day but you have to let this one go. Also work on your self esteem. Don’t ever let someone treat you like a last option.

click to expand

It's not always a question of self esteem.

I think pretty highly of myself but still I empathize and try to see things from the other persons perspective. Have compassion, be patient, be understanding.

When to stop being understanding is my issue.

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by DMV

Like i said, we were still in the figuring out each other stage and hes free to do him.

Maybe I'd just appreciate a little discretion.

Then no point being upset if you dont want to voice or assert your desires/expectations.

If you truly feel he can do what he wants then why be upset about it? Maybe you should do what you want too then aka date other people too if you think thats appropriate.

Men date differently than women. They like to keep their options open until something is solid.

click to expand

Aka...I'm not solid to him.

Posted by starlord

Posted by LethalFantasia

Posted by DMV

Posted by LethalFantasia

Wow what an asshole. Sorry but this is why the dating thing is hard. I don't care if we're "not official." If we're dating, WE'RE DATING EXCLUSIVELY. If you think you can date me and 1, 2 or 3 other people at the same time before picking the right one then GTFO.

I remember being on DXP and someone saying that its impossible to form connection with someone and give that someone a chance while you're dating other people.

This is so true... How can you even concentrate on more than one person at a time?

Meh, great point.

I don´t think this is true at all.

Overall speaking.

You can go on dates and talk to multiple people and get to know them, feel them out, let them feel you out over time.

BUT it does communicate, that you are not specifically really interested in one person, you´re not really feeling it, you still want to weigh your options and all that. And I guess that´s where this guy turns into a douche, because he´s been telling you stuff, to make you think, that he was really feeling you and not weighing his options and trying new things.

How weird to post a date on social media though. Sure it´s not just a friend-date? He´s a bad player not keeping it a secret, but guess he´s doing you a favour...

click to expand

Naw. Home girl was super good looking and dressed to kill.

Better looking than me. I'm grown enough to admit that.

She seems more his speed tho.

Lol, they actually look good togther.

Posted by JanMayMarry

Posted by Damous

Also that “he didn’t pay for the whole meal” shit is stupid. I don’t think it has any bearing on interest. I have to spend money on you to show interest? Saying yes to being asked out isn’t showing interest?

What the actual fuck.

Honestly, I love the logic you bring. Maybe other ladies wont agree with those things you've said, but I do.

click to expand

Which goes to show that if two people are feeling each other none of this he pay, we split, he call, I initiate, I ask him out, he chases, I asked to be exclusive, he ask me to be exclusive wont matter.

Two people who are feeling each other will move differently and none of these silly little parameters will matter.

Posted by bkbella86

Posted by DMV

Posted by pisceanloves

Here girl. Right now I'm dealing with a capricorn, we had a talk about relationship, he says we need to hang out a few more times. He moved closer to me, 1 hour between us right now. However he's still flaky, won't make plans to see me. I am the one doing all plannings and sorting things out. So 2 days ago I told him I'm going to his town on Saturday for a lantern festival and asked if we could "hang out", cause apparently "dates" doesn't work for him. Imagine him splitting a bill on our first dinner and mine was around 10 bucks. Anyways he said quote "let me check my schedule, then I'll let you know" I said okay good. Guess what? still waiting for him to confirm are we meeting tomorrow or not, plus I gave him couple of options to choose whatever is working better for him, plus he can come up with his own option and I'm willing to do my best to meet his needs. Guess what? nothing, I'm freaking hanging there not knowing anything, obviously I'm the last one on his list. We will see, I'm extremely pissed. why would someone treat you like a last minute girl, wtf . Anyways, sorry for venting, but call on his bs, you are worth more . way way more

Vent on!!!

I 2 planned the first dates and we split the bill. I died a little inside because he didnt pick up either check. It did immediately have me thinking I had been friendzoned, not worthy of his dollars. so maybe I wasnt as flirty or full throttle. But i was ok cause I didnt want feelings meddling with my class. Take it slow.

I really do try my best to learn from dxp and the stories and try different approaches. So I let him not paying not be a dealbreaker. I also wanted to try being a mans best friend first and then lover. Be friends first like people are always preaching.

Take it slow.

Dont be the crazed scorpio moon. Give people space. Dont stalk online. Dont be possessive. Dont stare. Let people have friends.

Enough with that.

I want to courted and I deserve to be courted.

I deserve some damn respect.

I am a catch dammit. Lol.

It seems like he does need more reassurance than I do, but when will the scale tip in my favor?

I feel like I am the man and I have to sweep him off his feet.

Um....

Never get dolled up to go meet a man who will ask you to split the bill. If he’s interested it’s up to him to prove it. How can he do that if you picking up bills? But then again you said you asked him out. This is why I am staunchly against women pursuing men, chasing men and asking men out.

It doesn’t work. It conveys low value. It’s also masculine behavior. Did he post your date on social media? He probably posted his date with the girl because she let him pay, she let him ask her out and made him feel manly. I could be wrong but that’s the vibe.

Personally I would write him off at this point. For 2 reasons.

click to expand

Lol

I dont know the specifics of their date and when he took the video, when he posted the video, who paid, etc.

All of that is unknown and I cant debate that.

I can only debate what i am seeing and hearing myself.

And what I saw was a romantic sexy date.

Asking someone to be exclusive after the first date doesn’t make sense to me. Before you enter into a physical relationship, yes. But after a first date? That’s a little weird. The person is a stranger at that point (despite what my psychic has said 😆) Idk if I even want them want them.

His misstep is posting about his other date knowing you’ll see it. That spells disrespect. But hey, at least you know where you really stand now.

Posted by DMV

Posted by bkbella86

Posted by DMV

Posted by pisceanloves

Here girl. Right now I'm dealing with a capricorn, we had a talk about relationship, he says we need to hang out a few more times. He moved closer to me, 1 hour between us right now. However he's still flaky, won't make plans to see me. I am the one doing all plannings and sorting things out. So 2 days ago I told him I'm going to his town on Saturday for a lantern festival and asked if we could "hang out", cause apparently "dates" doesn't work for him. Imagine him splitting a bill on our first dinner and mine was around 10 bucks. Anyways he said quote "let me check my schedule, then I'll let you know" I said okay good. Guess what? still waiting for him to confirm are we meeting tomorrow or not, plus I gave him couple of options to choose whatever is working better for him, plus he can come up with his own option and I'm willing to do my best to meet his needs. Guess what? nothing, I'm freaking hanging there not knowing anything, obviously I'm the last one on his list. We will see, I'm extremely pissed. why would someone treat you like a last minute girl, wtf . Anyways, sorry for venting, but call on his bs, you are worth more . way way more

Vent on!!!

I 2 planned the first dates and we split the bill. I died a little inside because he didnt pick up either check. It did immediately have me thinking I had been friendzoned, not worthy of his dollars. so maybe I wasnt as flirty or full throttle. But i was ok cause I didnt want feelings meddling with my class. Take it slow.

I really do try my best to learn from dxp and the stories and try different approaches. So I let him not paying not be a dealbreaker. I also wanted to try being a mans best friend first and then lover. Be friends first like people are always preaching.

Take it slow.

Dont be the crazed scorpio moon. Give people space. Dont stalk online. Dont be possessive. Dont stare. Let people have friends.

Enough with that.

I want to courted and I deserve to be courted.

I deserve some damn respect.

I am a catch dammit. Lol.

It seems like he does need more reassurance than I do, but when will the scale tip in my favor?

I feel like I am the man and I have to sweep him off his feet.

Um....

Never get dolled up to go meet a man who will ask you to split the bill. If he’s interested it’s up to him to prove it. How can he do that if you picking up bills? But then again you said you asked him out. This is why I am staunchly against women pursuing men, chasing men and asking men out.

It doesn’t work. It conveys low value. It’s also masculine behavior. Did he post your date on social media? He probably posted his date with the girl because she let him pay, she let him ask her out and made him feel manly. I could be wrong but that’s the vibe.

Personally I would write him off at this point. For 2 reasons.

Lol

I dont know the specifics of their date and when he took the video, when he posted the video, who paid, etc.

All of that is unknown and I cant debate that.

I can only debate what i am seeing and hearing myself.

And what I saw was a romantic sexy date.

click to expand

Wait a minute, it was a VIDEO!?@?

Oh no ma. DONE.

This sounds like a girlfriend.

What you need to prepare for is seeing him around again or if this fool decides to call or text you again.

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by DMV

Posted by bkbella86

Posted by DMV

Posted by pisceanloves

Here girl. Right now I'm dealing with a capricorn, we had a talk about relationship, he says we need to hang out a few more times. He moved closer to me, 1 hour between us right now. However he's still flaky, won't make plans to see me. I am the one doing all plannings and sorting things out. So 2 days ago I told him I'm going to his town on Saturday for a lantern festival and asked if we could "hang out", cause apparently "dates" doesn't work for him. Imagine him splitting a bill on our first dinner and mine was around 10 bucks. Anyways he said quote "let me check my schedule, then I'll let you know" I said okay good. Guess what? still waiting for him to confirm are we meeting tomorrow or not, plus I gave him couple of options to choose whatever is working better for him, plus he can come up with his own option and I'm willing to do my best to meet his needs. Guess what? nothing, I'm freaking hanging there not knowing anything, obviously I'm the last one on his list. We will see, I'm extremely pissed. why would someone treat you like a last minute girl, wtf . Anyways, sorry for venting, but call on his bs, you are worth more . way way more

Vent on!!!

I 2 planned the first dates and we split the bill. I died a little inside because he didnt pick up either check. It did immediately have me thinking I had been friendzoned, not worthy of his dollars. so maybe I wasnt as flirty or full throttle. But i was ok cause I didnt want feelings meddling with my class. Take it slow.

I really do try my best to learn from dxp and the stories and try different approaches. So I let him not paying not be a dealbreaker. I also wanted to try being a mans best friend first and then lover. Be friends first like people are always preaching.

Take it slow.

Dont be the crazed scorpio moon. Give people space. Dont stalk online. Dont be possessive. Dont stare. Let people have friends.

Enough with that.

I want to courted and I deserve to be courted.

I deserve some damn respect.

I am a catch dammit. Lol.

It seems like he does need more reassurance than I do, but when will the scale tip in my favor?

I feel like I am the man and I have to sweep him off his feet.

Um....

Never get dolled up to go meet a man who will ask you to split the bill. If he’s interested it’s up to him to prove it. How can he do that if you picking up bills? But then again you said you asked him out. This is why I am staunchly against women pursuing men, chasing men and asking men out.

It doesn’t work. It conveys low value. It’s also masculine behavior. Did he post your date on social media? He probably posted his date with the girl because she let him pay, she let him ask her out and made him feel manly. I could be wrong but that’s the vibe.

Personally I would write him off at this point. For 2 reasons.

Lol

I dont know the specifics of their date and when he took the video, when he posted the video, who paid, etc.

All of that is unknown and I cant debate that.

I can only debate what i am seeing and hearing myself.

And what I saw was a romantic sexy date.

Wait a minute, it was a VIDEO!?@?

Oh no ma. DONE.

This sounds like a girlfriend.

What you need to prepare for is seeing him around again or if this fool decides to call or text you again.

click to expand

Yep lol

A videos of him and her with the added smiley and hearts.

Gurllllll

My plan is to ask how he feels when he goes to confirm.

That way I get my answer and dont waste my time putting on pants

Posted by Ariqua

I can’t date multiple people. If I’m interested in multiple people it’s because I’m really not that interested in any.

If I’m truly interested in someone I have tunnel vision.

Interesting... when I dated, I multi-dated... until, one of them asked me for exclusivity. I go by my motto..."I like what likes me." So, if in that hourse race of dating, imagine me on the side lines with the flag marking the winner.

I believe this is because my "love language" is service and gifts. Men have smelt this on me and shown up with flowers on a date. My natal chart will show that these two are my love language.

I am the matriarch of my family. A man has to be about service to fit my philanthropic liberal family. It is not all about me but, the others I serve.

Posted by halalbae

Is this the Venus in Taurus guy from a few months ago? As a Gemini sun and Virgo Moon with ViT, I can only tell you that he probably is making a lot of comparisons between your good qualities and their downfalls, and he may fear your rejection or criticism so intensely that he appears disengaged and uninterested in you. We're very avoidant so we love someone thats bold in their convictions and is consistent about it

But you both have Venus in earth sign, we have a toxic trait of wanting to face everything on our own because we dont want to feel like we are burdening the other person with our struggles and issues. We demonstrate shyness/embarrassment and cover up our interest in someone because we fear making the wrong move, then we restrain from affection and advances out of fear we will make the wrong move and disgust the person. And thats where the mind games begin. That reluctance makes our energies too much alike and turns us off. We can seem internalized and detached when we in fact are rather devoured by that person

So if you are interested in him and want to make it work, my best advice is stop paying his bills and planning dates, just keep showing your excitement for him without all the possessiveness. Excitement about him as a person is what hes probably missing in your attraction to him

I dont pay his bills lol. I paid for my own meal both times. The 1st time, when the bill came, I gave it a 10 second delay and he didnt utter a word. So to save the embarrassment, I just told the waitress i would pay for my own.

I am excited to see him. That is what is not missing.

I'm a sag I meet him with tons of smiles and positivity.

His behavior ain't on me. This ain't on me.

I never once hid my interest and desire for him.

I didnt do anything wrong.

I put myself out there and it didnt work for the other person.

As with the other poster, i waited weeks for him to plan another date and nothing. We still talked everyday but he wasnt planning anything. He would instead talk.about all the things he wanted to do with me. But never followed through with it.

Your assessment is dead on tho.

Posted by DMV

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by DMV

Posted by bkbella86

Posted by DMV

Posted by pisceanloves

Here girl. Right now I'm dealing with a capricorn, we had a talk about relationship, he says we need to hang out a few more times. He moved closer to me, 1 hour between us right now. However he's still flaky, won't make plans to see me. I am the one doing all plannings and sorting things out. So 2 days ago I told him I'm going to his town on Saturday for a lantern festival and asked if we could "hang out", cause apparently "dates" doesn't work for him. Imagine him splitting a bill on our first dinner and mine was around 10 bucks. Anyways he said quote "let me check my schedule, then I'll let you know" I said okay good. Guess what? still waiting for him to confirm are we meeting tomorrow or not, plus I gave him couple of options to choose whatever is working better for him, plus he can come up with his own option and I'm willing to do my best to meet his needs. Guess what? nothing, I'm freaking hanging there not knowing anything, obviously I'm the last one on his list. We will see, I'm extremely pissed. why would someone treat you like a last minute girl, wtf . Anyways, sorry for venting, but call on his bs, you are worth more . way way more

Vent on!!!

I 2 planned the first dates and we split the bill. I died a little inside because he didnt pick up either check. It did immediately have me thinking I had been friendzoned, not worthy of his dollars. so maybe I wasnt as flirty or full throttle. But i was ok cause I didnt want feelings meddling with my class. Take it slow.

I really do try my best to learn from dxp and the stories and try different approaches. So I let him not paying not be a dealbreaker. I also wanted to try being a mans best friend first and then lover. Be friends first like people are always preaching.

Take it slow.

Dont be the crazed scorpio moon. Give people space. Dont stalk online. Dont be possessive. Dont stare. Let people have friends.

Enough with that.

I want to courted and I deserve to be courted.

I deserve some damn respect.

I am a catch dammit. Lol.

It seems like he does need more reassurance than I do, but when will the scale tip in my favor?

I feel like I am the man and I have to sweep him off his feet.

Um....

Never get dolled up to go meet a man who will ask you to split the bill. If he’s interested it’s up to him to prove it. How can he do that if you picking up bills? But then again you said you asked him out. This is why I am staunchly against women pursuing men, chasing men and asking men out.

It doesn’t work. It conveys low value. It’s also masculine behavior. Did he post your date on social media? He probably posted his date with the girl because she let him pay, she let him ask her out and made him feel manly. I could be wrong but that’s the vibe.

Personally I would write him off at this point. For 2 reasons.

Lol

I dont know the specifics of their date and when he took the video, when he posted the video, who paid, etc.

All of that is unknown and I cant debate that.

I can only debate what i am seeing and hearing myself.

And what I saw was a romantic sexy date.

Wait a minute, it was a VIDEO!?@?

Oh no ma. DONE.

This sounds like a girlfriend.

What you need to prepare for is seeing him around again or if this fool decides to call or text you again.

Yep lol

A videos of him and her with the added smiley and hearts.

Gurllllll

My plan is to ask how he feels when he goes to confirm.

That way I get my answer and dont waste my time putting on pants

click to expand

Hey, I know we're on an online message board an all which leans towards brevity.

But, what's the probability of seeing this fool around? What's the probability that that was a girlfriend (Not that it matters. It just shows his depth of deception)? Do think he will act like y'all are business as usual?

I'm not one to tell people to take it fast or to take it slow. You have to get to know them. For me "getting to know" is marked by the first argument or disagreement. Hadn't had a disagreement or argument, you don't know 'em. Hadn't seen his dark side. You don't know him.

I dont think I could have done anything differently...

I did what I felt in my heart and what I felt.

That could.never be wrong.

Posted by DMV

I dont think I could have done anything differently...

I did what I felt in my heart and what I felt.

That could.never be wrong.

Even cupid has a darkside. He used to try me regularly LMAO.

Posted by DMV

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by DMV

Like i said, we were still in the figuring out each other stage and hes free to do him.

Maybe I'd just appreciate a little discretion.

Then no point being upset if you dont want to voice or assert your desires/expectations.

If you truly feel he can do what he wants then why be upset about it? Maybe you should do what you want too then aka date other people too if you think thats appropriate.

Men date differently than women. They like to keep their options open until something is solid.

Aka...I'm not solid to him.

click to expand

yeah true... but that doesn't mean he's not into you. It could be for multiple reasons including that he might not know/be confident that you want to be exclusive.

Some guys are a lot more insecure/unsure about what to do in regards to dating than most women.

Also guys are a bit slow when it comes to emotional/relationship issues. Try to remember the number of times guy friends in your life told you about a situation and you had to go what is wrong with this guy but his intentions were in the right place.

Basically you won't know until you ask. Also if you're serious about him I think it's a powerful move to ask for clarification or desire on exclusivity.

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by DMV

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by DMV

Like i said, we were still in the figuring out each other stage and hes free to do him.

Maybe I'd just appreciate a little discretion.

Then no point being upset if you dont want to voice or assert your desires/expectations.

If you truly feel he can do what he wants then why be upset about it? Maybe you should do what you want too then aka date other people too if you think thats appropriate.

Men date differently than women. They like to keep their options open until something is solid.

Aka...I'm not solid to him.

yeah true... but that doesn't mean he's not into you. It could be for multiple reasons including that he might not know/be confident that you want to be exclusive.

Some guys are a lot more insecure/unsure about what to do in regards to dating than most women.

Also guys are a bit slow when it comes to emotional/relationship issues. Try to remember the number of times guy friends in your life told you about a situation and you had to go what is wrong with this guy but his intentions were in the right place.

Basically you won't know until you ask. Also if you're serious about him I think it's a powerful move to ask for clarification or desire on exclusivity.

click to expand

Why not, it's the full moon right.

Let's do this!!😎😎😎

But a thank you to you guys for helping me work through my disappointment.

Super appreciated

Posted by MadHatter2

How long have you been dating this guy?

Men in general like some sort of challenge from a woman, everything you've posted reeks of desperation. You planned the dates, you payed, you call him, you express your feelings, etc. You initiated everything. Inititiation is a sign of interest. Reciprocation does not necessarily mean interest. Sometimes it just means telling the other person what they clearly want to hear after they initiated and showed their interest on the topic. Sometimes people are also blind to subtle cues that the person does not genuinely return the same level of interest. The only thing you dont mention is if you slept with him (or I missed that part).

This "exclusivity" BS during the 'dating' phase is just that, BS. That's what dating is, figuring out how you sync up with other people. Asking for exclusively early sounds desperate and takes all the challenge away. What, after 3 dates you know that this is the person you want to settle down with? C'mon. That doesnt reek of desperation? There are 3 types of people in the dating world: those people swiping right on Tinder... those people who are Googling "Russian Mail-Order Brides/Grooms", and those people who are sitting at home waiting for someone to fall in their lap. The longer you date, the more exclusivity should come naturally as a clear sign each are interested in the other.

It doesnt necessarily mean this is a lost cause, it just means he has temporarily lost some interest due to lack of challenge.

You should dating other people yourself. He'll either come back around... or you'll find someone else.. either way you win.

That's a great theory but it rarely works out in real life. The "dating" you speak of is pretty much obsolete. Everything is about instant gratification now. Wiring is become so intense in this generation. Taking time has become a thing of the past, it's unfortunate.

DMV you should try a Pisces Venus. They'll tumble for ya. Money spending, romanticizing everything.

Not really my style sounds like you could appreciate it though.

I just asked him and he said he only sees me as a friend.

Great. Now I can move forward.

Posted by DMV

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by DMV

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by DMV

Like i said, we were still in the figuring out each other stage and hes free to do him.

Maybe I'd just appreciate a little discretion.

Then no point being upset if you dont want to voice or assert your desires/expectations.

If you truly feel he can do what he wants then why be upset about it? Maybe you should do what you want too then aka date other people too if you think thats appropriate.

Men date differently than women. They like to keep their options open until something is solid.

Aka...I'm not solid to him.

yeah true... but that doesn't mean he's not into you. It could be for multiple reasons including that he might not know/be confident that you want to be exclusive.

Some guys are a lot more insecure/unsure about what to do in regards to dating than most women.

Also guys are a bit slow when it comes to emotional/relationship issues. Try to remember the number of times guy friends in your life told you about a situation and you had to go what is wrong with this guy but his intentions were in the right place.

Basically you won't know until you ask. Also if you're serious about him I think it's a powerful move to ask for clarification or desire on exclusivity.

Why not, it's the full moon right.

Let's do this!!😎😎😎

click to expand

easier said than done but I believe in you DMV!

If you're going to crash and burn, I just say do it faster so you can rise again but so much wiser and better.



At least that's how I like to live my romantic life lol.

@DMV

Doesn't it feel better? Or you quite upset about it and wish you had left it alone?

Posted by DMV

Posted by starlord

Posted by LethalFantasia

Posted by DMV

Posted by LethalFantasia

Wow what an asshole. Sorry but this is why the dating thing is hard. I don't care if we're "not official." If we're dating, WE'RE DATING EXCLUSIVELY. If you think you can date me and 1, 2 or 3 other people at the same time before picking the right one then GTFO.

I remember being on DXP and someone saying that its impossible to form connection with someone and give that someone a chance while you're dating other people.

This is so true... How can you even concentrate on more than one person at a time?

Meh, great point.

I don´t think this is true at all.

Overall speaking.

You can go on dates and talk to multiple people and get to know them, feel them out, let them feel you out over time.

BUT it does communicate, that you are not specifically really interested in one person, you´re not really feeling it, you still want to weigh your options and all that. And I guess that´s where this guy turns into a douche, because he´s been telling you stuff, to make you think, that he was really feeling you and not weighing his options and trying new things.

How weird to post a date on social media though. Sure it´s not just a friend-date? He´s a bad player not keeping it a secret, but guess he´s doing you a favour...

Naw. Home girl was super good looking and dressed to kill.

Better looking than me. I'm grown enough to admit that.

She seems more his speed tho.

Lol, they actually look good togther.

click to expand

Well good luck to them then. 😄 Seriously I have no idea why men are like aaaaaalways! No matter age, ethnicity, geolacation, religion. I mean so many similar stories over and over and over. Man I wish I was gay.

Posted by i-xy

Posted by DMV

I just asked him and he said he only sees me as a friend.

Great. Now I can move forward.

I'm glad he had the balls to be straightforward.

Bottom line was he spilled his heart out then the next day posted pictures with another woman. Dipshit.

Sorry but you deserve better.

click to expand

Yah he apologized if he ever gave me that impression..😐😑😶

He gave many impressions that were not "friendlike."

But I will take him at his word.

Now he knows that he cant go back n forth now. Now hes been called out and has to also be honest with himself.

Posted by Ariqua

Posted by DMV

Posted by i-xy

Posted by DMV

I just asked him and he said he only sees me as a friend.

Great. Now I can move forward.

I'm glad he had the balls to be straightforward.

Bottom line was he spilled his heart out then the next day posted pictures with another woman. Dipshit.

Sorry but you deserve better.

Yah he apologized if he ever gave me that impression..😐😑😶

He gave many impressions that were not "friendlike."

But I will take him at his word.

Now he knows that he cant go back n forth now. Now hes been called out and has to also be honest with himself.

Wtf he’s full of shit. What was the whole you leaving him for a black dude?

Please ice him out Scorpio moon style please and pretend he never existed

click to expand

I think hes full of it quite honestly.

He has given off signals and said things that are contradictory to me being just a friend.

Like dont get me started.

Lol. The games.

Posted by DMV

Posted by bkbella86

Posted by pisceanloves

Here girl. Right now I'm dealing with a capricorn, we had a talk about relationship, he says we need to hang out a few more times. He moved closer to me, 1 hour between us right now. However he's still flaky, won't make plans to see me. I am the one doing all plannings and sorting things out. So 2 days ago I told him I'm going to his town on Saturday for a lantern festival and asked if we could "hang out", cause apparently "dates" doesn't work for him. Imagine him splitting a bill on our first dinner and mine was around 10 bucks. Anyways he said quote "let me check my schedule, then I'll let you know" I said okay good. Guess what? still waiting for him to confirm are we meeting tomorrow or not, plus I gave him couple of options to choose whatever is working better for him, plus he can come up with his own option and I'm willing to do my best to meet his needs. Guess what? nothing, I'm freaking hanging there not knowing anything, obviously I'm the last one on his list. We will see, I'm extremely pissed. why would someone treat you like a last minute girl, wtf . Anyways, sorry for venting, but call on his bs, you are worth more . way way more

Because you continue to let him. He’s not that into yoi by what you described. Someone will come along and put effort into one day but you have to let this one go. Also work on your self esteem. Don’t ever let someone treat you like a last option.

It's not always a question of self esteem.

I think pretty highly of myself but still I empathize and try to see things from the other persons perspective. Have compassion, be patient, be understanding.

When to stop being understanding is my issue.

click to expand

That wasn’t for you sis it was for the other young lady.

Posted by DMV

Posted by bkbella86

Posted by DMV

Posted by pisceanloves

Here girl. Right now I'm dealing with a capricorn, we had a talk about relationship, he says we need to hang out a few more times. He moved closer to me, 1 hour between us right now. However he's still flaky, won't make plans to see me. I am the one doing all plannings and sorting things out. So 2 days ago I told him I'm going to his town on Saturday for a lantern festival and asked if we could "hang out", cause apparently "dates" doesn't work for him. Imagine him splitting a bill on our first dinner and mine was around 10 bucks. Anyways he said quote "let me check my schedule, then I'll let you know" I said okay good. Guess what? still waiting for him to confirm are we meeting tomorrow or not, plus I gave him couple of options to choose whatever is working better for him, plus he can come up with his own option and I'm willing to do my best to meet his needs. Guess what? nothing, I'm freaking hanging there not knowing anything, obviously I'm the last one on his list. We will see, I'm extremely pissed. why would someone treat you like a last minute girl, wtf . Anyways, sorry for venting, but call on his bs, you are worth more . way way more

Vent on!!!

I 2 planned the first dates and we split the bill. I died a little inside because he didnt pick up either check. It did immediately have me thinking I had been friendzoned, not worthy of his dollars. so maybe I wasnt as flirty or full throttle. But i was ok cause I didnt want feelings meddling with my class. Take it slow.

I really do try my best to learn from dxp and the stories and try different approaches. So I let him not paying not be a dealbreaker. I also wanted to try being a mans best friend first and then lover. Be friends first like people are always preaching.

Take it slow.

Dont be the crazed scorpio moon. Give people space. Dont stalk online. Dont be possessive. Dont stare. Let people have friends.

Enough with that.

I want to courted and I deserve to be courted.

I deserve some damn respect.

I am a catch dammit. Lol.

It seems like he does need more reassurance than I do, but when will the scale tip in my favor?

I feel like I am the man and I have to sweep him off his feet.

Um....

Never get dolled up to go meet a man who will ask you to split the bill. If he’s interested it’s up to him to prove it. How can he do that if you picking up bills? But then again you said you asked him out. This is why I am staunchly against women pursuing men, chasing men and asking men out.

It doesn’t work. It conveys low value. It’s also masculine behavior. Did he post your date on social media? He probably posted his date with the girl because she let him pay, she let him ask her out and made him feel manly. I could be wrong but that’s the vibe.

Personally I would write him off at this point. For 2 reasons.

Lol

I dont know the specifics of their date and when he took the video, when he posted the video, who paid, etc.

All of that is unknown and I cant debate that.

I can only debate what i am seeing and hearing myself.

And what I saw was a romantic sexy date.

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I don’t think there’s anything romantic or sexy about a man letting you go Dutch when he’s supposedly interested.

Posted by BlueMarshmallow

Posted by DMV

Posted by i-xy

Posted by DMV

I just asked him and he said he only sees me as a friend.

Great. Now I can move forward.

I'm glad he had the balls to be straightforward.

Bottom line was he spilled his heart out then the next day posted pictures with another woman. Dipshit.

Sorry but you deserve better.

Yah he apologized if he ever gave me that impression..😐😑😶

He gave many impressions that were not "friendlike."

But I will take him at his word.

Now he knows that he cant go back n forth now. Now hes been called out and has to also be honest with himself.

He's a coward!

Didn't he tell you he's worried you will fall for someone else? WTH was that about?

I'm raging!!!

And he posted a video?!

Sorry, babe. I wish things had been different.

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Gurl he was dead ass worried that I would fall out of love with him with another guy.

Couldnt even look me in the eye while he was getting the words out.

Like dont get me started with what has come out of mouth.

Posted by LadyNeptune

Asking someone to be exclusive after the first date doesn’t make sense to me. Before you enter into a physical relationship, yes. But after a first date? That’s a little weird. The person is a stranger at that point (despite what my psychic has said 😆) Idk if I even want them want them.

His misstep is posting about his other date knowing you’ll see it. That spells disrespect. But hey, at least you know where you really stand now.

How is it disrespect if they didn’t agree to anything exclusive? How is he wrong?

Posted by MadHatter2

How long have you been dating this guy?

Men in general like some sort of challenge from a woman, everything you've posted reeks of desperation. You planned the dates, you payed, you call him, you express your feelings, etc. You initiated everything. Inititiation is a sign of interest. Reciprocation does not necessarily mean interest. Sometimes it just means telling the other person what they clearly want to hear after they initiated and showed their interest on the topic. Sometimes people are also blind to subtle cues that the person does not genuinely return the same level of interest. The only thing you dont mention is if you slept with him (or I missed that part).

This "exclusivity" BS during the 'dating' phase is just that, BS. That's what dating is, figuring out how you sync up with other people. Asking for exclusively early sounds desperate and takes all the challenge away. What, after 3 dates you know that this is the person you want to settle down with? C'mon. That doesnt reek of desperation? There are 3 types of people in the dating world: those people swiping right on Tinder... those people who are Googling "Russian Mail-Order Brides/Grooms", and those people who are sitting at home waiting for someone to fall in their lap. The longer you date, the more exclusivity should come naturally as a clear sign each are interested in the other.

It doesnt necessarily mean this is a lost cause, it just means he has temporarily lost some interest due to lack of challenge.

You should dating other people yourself. He'll either come back around... or you'll find someone else.. either way you win.

Thank you!

I do feel like he is taking a hard stance aganist having any romantic feelings toward me at at all.

I led the conversation with assurance as well.

I said that i was feeling him and wanted to know if he saw me a romantic interest or a friend.

He was adamant that he only saw me as a friend. I mean hard stance. Like woah woah woah. Where'd you get that idea from.

I laughed.

Posted by DMV

Posted by halalbae

Is this the Venus in Taurus guy from a few months ago? As a Gemini sun and Virgo Moon with ViT, I can only tell you that he probably is making a lot of comparisons between your good qualities and their downfalls, and he may fear your rejection or criticism so intensely that he appears disengaged and uninterested in you. We're very avoidant so we love someone thats bold in their convictions and is consistent about it

But you both have Venus in earth sign, we have a toxic trait of wanting to face everything on our own because we dont want to feel like we are burdening the other person with our struggles and issues. We demonstrate shyness/embarrassment and cover up our interest in someone because we fear making the wrong move, then we restrain from affection and advances out of fear we will make the wrong move and disgust the person. And thats where the mind games begin. That reluctance makes our energies too much alike and turns us off. We can seem internalized and detached when we in fact are rather devoured by that person

So if you are interested in him and want to make it work, my best advice is stop paying his bills and planning dates, just keep showing your excitement for him without all the possessiveness. Excitement about him as a person is what hes probably missing in your attraction to him

I dont pay his bills lol. I paid for my own meal both times. The 1st time, when the bill came, I gave it a 10 second delay and he didnt utter a word. So to save the embarrassment, I just told the waitress i would pay for my own.

I am excited to see him. That is what is not missing.

I'm a sag I meet him with tons of smiles and positivity.

His behavior ain't on me. This ain't on me.

I never once hid my interest and desire for him.

I didnt do anything wrong.

I put myself out there and it didnt work for the other person.

As with the other poster, i waited weeks for him to plan another date and nothing. We still talked everyday but he wasnt planning anything. He would instead talk.about all the things he wanted to do with me. But never followed through with it.

Your assessment is dead on tho.

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that means he’s not interested. Or that interested. When a man is feeling you he will do the leg work. He will plan dates and not string you along with sweet nothings over the phone for weeks. Don’t save anyone embarrassment, you’re the prize. I would have left that check there and stared at him. F that.

The moment you planned the first date and letting him waste ya time on the phone and then asking for second date is where you went wrong. This is why he didn’t pay. You gave yourself on a silver platter. No challenge. People say that it’s a new day and a new age but certain things don’t change. I don’t care how nice a man appears to be, they need to do the work. The women who say otherwise are used to doing the work and meeting the man more than halfway, they thinks it’s normal. Its not.

Posted by DMV

I do feel like he is taking a hard stance aganist having any romantic feelings toward me at at all.

I led the conversation with assurance as well.

I said that i was feeling him and wanted to know if he saw me a romantic interest or a friend.

He was adamant that he only saw me as a friend. I mean hard stance. Like woah woah woah. Where'd you get that idea from.

I laughed.

Again you led and chased in the convo. You asked and he answered. However the video was supposed to reiterate that. That’s why he posted it.

Im just not the girl who plays hard to get. That's never been who I have been.

Sorry if that doesnt work for some of you all. Lol. Super sorry.

If I like a guy, I'm telling him straight up.

I like action 🤩

I’m sorry you’re disappointed DMV. From what I’ve seen you end up in these one sided situations often and I think if you’re going to do things diff and take advice from DXP try taking some different advice and do things diff to see what results you will get.

Since you’re used to chasing, let someone chase you for a change. So forth and so on.

Either way feel better, you deserve to be wined dined and everything your heart desires.

Posted by DMV

Im just not the girl who plays hard to get. That's never been who I have been.

Sorry if that doesnt work for some of you all. Lol. Super sorry.

If I like a guy, I'm telling him straight up.

I like action 🤩

I’m not saying playing hard to get but be somewhat of a challenge. Try it at least! See if it bears diff results.