Principle of Least Interest

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Principle of Least Interest

'In a two-party relationship, the party exhibiting the least interest in the

relationship holds the most power.

This is due to the (albeit often false) presumption that relationships are an

efficient economy, and that one party would only be more interested if the

other is inherently more valuable.

... if the differences in involvement become too large, the less interested

partner would be in a position to exploit the other.'

....................................................................

Men frequently have this advantage over women-- not all the time--

but most of the time.

We see it constantly here on dxp-- and the fallout from those

who *can't* see it.

HOW MANY of you use this principle to your advantage... or do you

think it's wrong?

I'm withholding judgement for the moment.

All signs welcome.

** POLI Link 01

** POLI Link 02

Posted by Montgomery
I'm withholding judgement for the moment.

😄

Oh, Monty.

Haha, the instant I read the first half, my thoughts:

"She's definitely lying, I don't think Montgomery is capable of such an actio-

oh, I see"

:p

^ I think that happens quite often.

Posted by Montgomery
HOW MANY of you use this principle to your advantage... or do you

think it's wrong?

How is this different than "wearing the pants", so to say?

Posted by ARoarLikeThunder

Posted by Montgomery
I'm withholding judgement for the moment.

😄

Oh, Monty.

Haha, the instant I read the first half, my thoughts:

"She's definitely lying, I don't think Montgomery is capable of such an actio-

oh, I see"

:p

click to expand

I resent that. 🙂

Now... answer the question.

Ya know I'm just jostlin' your furs, mrs. serious. :p

Oh you don't want my answers, I'm not a standard case. 🙂

^ Mmmmmhhmmm, and you know sag women don't take nobody's shit!

Posted by clooneyyears
how many bluff about being the lesser interested party and lose it all?

my words

Posted by ARoarLikeThunder
Ya know I'm just jostlin' your furs, mrs. serious. :p

Oh you don't want my answers, I'm not a standard case. 🙂

I know.

😛

Posted by Montgomery

Posted by ARoarLikeThunder
Ya know I'm just jostlin' your furs, mrs. serious. :p

Oh you don't want my answers, I'm not a standard case. 🙂

I know.

😛

click to expand

😄

Posted by beautifuldiaster
No... no no no....

YOu see.

The party who has their confidence about them is most likely to have control.

You see because anyone who knows who they are and what they want will never play into the games little people play. Its just life and some play, others just dominate.

Is this to me or Roar?

Not sure if it's wrong or right. It never crosses my mind.

Posted by beautifuldiaster
I always love* your thought provking responses; ) ✨

Same to you ✨✨

Posted by Damnata
Not sure if it's wrong or right. It never crosses my mind.

You just read the OP-- you must have formed an opinion. 🙂

Posted by Jynja
Childish games.

Will we ever just mature?

Exactly!

So why is there an industry built around it?

The original source called it The Phenomenon of Least Interest,

and cited The Rules or playing hard to get-- which are obviously

based on this 'phenomenon' or principle-- as a response to it.

So are 'romantic-advice' columns, which come in every flavor, for

every persuasion... and they flourish.

And its the very bane of dxp (e.g. Aqua/LEO/Taurus disappearing act?).

As to the second part... individually-- yes, I think we can.

Maybe gratitude is the answer-- being glad for what we have,

instead of taking it for granted.

But on the whole?

I doubt it.

Posted by Kim11180560
My Aqua rising makes me look like I don't give a shit that much but my Taurean moon knows better... I think that the one who really does cafe too much (inside) is still the one who gets hurt most at the end of the day..

I'm sorry I missed your response.

You're right but it's an unfortunate thing, altogether.

Maybe those who make it past the seven year itch move

past this?

Idk... only made it six, myself. 😛

Posted by tiziani
Well what I've noticed is the relationship advice industry, if you want to call it that, makes most of its long tern money off of keeping people single. There is some really bad, juvenile and unnecessarily hard ass "advice" out there.

Yes.

They perpetuate it by erecting an impossible

standard, or worse... by catering to the delusion

that he/she may actually be that into you, even

though his/her actions say otherwise. :/

I think it could really go either way depending on how you look at it:

- The person who 'loves more' could be insecure in themselves and seeking approval/validation from the other, giving the object of affection more power/control.

or

- The person who 'loves more' could be secure in themselves, feel comfortable with what they give and have no problem walking away if their needs aren't met. The object of their affection could be insecure and need that attention/validation before they feel comfortable opening up themselves. In which case the person who 'loves more' really has the power/control.

It's the person that's -not- insecure that has more power, regardless of which side of a situation they're on.

Posted by Montgomery

Posted by Damnata
Not sure if it's wrong or right. It never crosses my mind.

You just read the OP-- you must have formed an opinion. 🙂

click to expand

I tried but I just couldn't. It felt weird.

Posted by deathnirvana
The one who loves the least controls the relationships.

And in my case, I'm the one being controlled.

LOL

Noo... that isn't what I said.

Posted by Damnata

Posted by Montgomery

Posted by Damnata
Not sure if it's wrong or right. It never crosses my mind.

You just read the OP-- you must have formed an opinion. 🙂

I tried but I just couldn't. It felt weird.

click to expand

Good. 🙂

Posted by UntamedLeo...
or

- The person who 'loves more' could be secure in themselves, feel comfortable with what they give and have no problem walking away if their needs aren't met. The object of their affection could be insecure and need that attention/validation before they feel comfortable opening up themselves. In which case the person who 'loves more' really has the power/control.

It's the person that's -not- insecure that has more power, regardless of which side of a situation they're on.

It could go a lot of different ways.

But it isn't about who genuinely loves the other more--

that is another phenomenon, entirely.

Posted by deathnirvana

^ Power of Love.

click to expand

Indeed.

That's the game-changer... the (universal) law-breaker,

and +1.

This was about the bottom line, stripped of all the niceties

and details.... and that's ^^ the only thing I figure that can

set this godawful 'principle' on its ass.

Anyway--

I've had enough gazing at the underbelly of this world for today...

Appreciate everyone's reply. 🙂

Posted by dontgetmewrong
there's been so many instances where the one that loved more in the relationship was the one who left, leaving the one who didn't care enough stumped. Later on regretting that they didn't invest more of themselves in the relationship doe whatever reason (ego, control, insecurity)..Some people just don't know what they really have until it's gone....

That still supports the OP.

... the party exhibiting the least interest in the relationship--

If you're willing to walk, then you have the

least interest in maintaining the relationship

at its current level, and thus...

... the most power.

I was just wondering, how does the law of attraction fit into this. They both seem like contradictory ideas but both aim at getting/achieving something.

Does anyone here believe in the law of attraction? 'The secret' type of stuff?

It's the belief of broken and wounded souls hold in order to fuel their delusions of power of anything.

Honestly can not stand this games crap most people go through.
Take it or leave it. Don't want it? Already know someone else will.
...someday I wonder if I'm to cut-throat, but then I just read a couple threads and that thought dies.