What do I do with this Leo?

Met up after chatting a while, had the best date, hooked up after lots of hesitation from my end... follow up texts from him checking on me (we kept our waiting a few hours between responses pace). From date one he told me he likes me and thinks we have a connection.

Asked me out another two times to a nice restaurant and then I invited him over to mine and cooked as he was tired and wanted to do something low key.

He texted again thanking me and we exchanged some playful texts then for a week now it's been a text exchange once a day from him and I tried doing the same but it's not reasonable for me to not text within a few hours and wait nearly 24! Last he massaged he was back from a work trip on that day and I thought ah maybe now that he's here and there's no time difference I'll respond within the hour. That was... a day ago. Not sure if he's just not as into me as he says or I need to show more affection.

He comes across as a gentleman got it together type so I'm sure he loves taking the lead. We've briefly covered the not sleeping with other people part since we're being intimate and he assured me he wouldn't do that.

I've tried not answering a couple of times but that's when he either asked a question or said something implying a reply.

Bit sad here it started off so well now I'm back to square one...

Halp

Posted by Smidge
why are you trying not to answer?

the texting game is shit, i've never understood it.

I've never understood it before either but I used to wear my heart on a sleeve and be too available which ended up hurting me as I always showed my affection more. Just trying not to get hurt I guess :/ sometimes I'm genuinely busy and don't want to answer in a rush while I'm in the middle of something.

Ignoring me is not good ...

Leo's don't do well with reverse psychology

So the hot / cold continues. We caught up again and had a great time, he keeps messaging me here and there but we can't have a proper convo when we are not in the same room.

He tells me stuff about family, picks up the check and loves PDA.

Last date we did dinner and movies then stayed at mine for a bit, after we got down and dirty he didn't really stick around. He messaged me again after and i told him i wasn't a fan of that and i'm not gonna feel like i'm being used for sex again whether he's in or not. He was apologetic and reassured me it's not just about sex otherwise he wouldn't be keen on dinner and movies.

He says the right things when we do talk but i keep reading about how Leos shower you with love and affection if they're into you and i'm not getting that. He does ask me to spend time with him but it's like we're an old couple now who moved past the honeymoon stage. How do i get that— He barely gives me compliments unless it's about my ass. Last two guys i saw were adoring me and showering me with compliments if not gifts. Girls like romance and i'm suuuure he gets it.

I feel like he's into me but thinks he got me so isn't trying hard enough... I like him but i want him to put more effort in. I said i was sick the other day and needed TLC - he said he hopes i feel better. Screw that.

Help meeeee. Is he being a user?

Hm, so a few things.

First, Leos "suck" at texting. We're just not that into it as everyone else seems to be. We're more prone to inviting you out or at least talking on the phone. We're a little old fashioned that way. My recommendation is to CALL him. It will create a precedent to increase the communication between you that he'll be more comfortable with doing. This also leads me to my next point...

Second, if he's a guy who has EVER looked into the subject of "How to text a woman", the general consensus is to "not over-text". There are different schools of thought about this topic and he may have learned to be very sparing with his texts to create attraction. The mystery of his indifference keeps him at the forefront of your mind (and lo and behold it appears to be working). The same can work in reverse of course, but guys are taught not to look too needy via text so as to not turn women off before the next date.

If he's not being SUPER expressive, don't let that deter you. Instead let him KNOW that you need to hear compliments. You're and air sign, so words are far more important to you. Leos are more action/energy based. We use our words to flirt/attract, but will hold back our real emotions. If he's not showering you with compliments it could just be because he's holding back and trying not to be overly expressive. If he was not being affectionate as well, that would indicate he didn't care for you. It looks like everything is good when you're together, but his communication could use work. If he cares about you he'll up this, granted with multiple gentle prods from you to do so. Leo is a fixed sign, so sometimes you need to suggest something to us a few times before we concede.

What are his placements? That will help you out more. If he's an earth moon like me, it may take him time to be comfortable dishing out compliments.

Posted by Chuckcem


What are his placements? That will help you out more. If he's an earth moon like me, it may take him time to be comfortable dishing out compliments.

Thank you for the insights. I don't mind taking things slow and steady, i don't want to put my heart on a silver platter either. If he needs time to get comfortable that's fine.

Frankly don't know too much about him, including birthday and such. He used to work with a friend of mine and i know some people from his firm so we get to talk about families, mutual colleagues and whatnot but haven't even made it to facebook friends or insta followers or anything. We'll see how we go. I just want to feel loved and that's when i really want to show love also. Sign.

Ah, you may want to find that out. One thing to know about guys (Leos and all others) is that you need to make us work for physical intimacy. It may seem like an innocuous thing (and I know everyone has different ideas regarding sex), but guys respect women who make us work for their affection. If we get what we want too fast, we may get lazy or even lose respect for the woman.

Imagine he's a kid and he wants dessert (physical intimacy). You want to make sure he eats his vegetables first (goes on dates with you, learns more about you, forms an emotional bond). If you give him the dessert early, it may be be more difficult to get him to eat his dinner afterward. In his mind he already had dessert, so he got what he wanted from you.

Different strokes for different folks and there no judgement here. Just know that guys need to invest quality time in order to take a woman seriously. This is the same advice I give to any of my girl friends. If you have already had sex with the guy before he's formed an emotional bond, you could be setting yourself up for a fall. That's not to say your Leo isn't interested, just a fair warning.

Again I'm not looking to impose any particular idea or doctrine on how you handle your relationships. I believe people should do what they want. That's just a little insight into a guy's mind. From how it sounds, he seems interested in you. Also know since this is so early, while you may crave the feeling of love, those feelings will take more time to grow for him. Undoubtedly he's in lust right now. Just be careful before you get too attached. Sounds like you too still need to get to know each other.

Posted by Chuckcem
Ah, you may want to find that out. One thing to know about guys (Leos and all others) is that you need to make us work for physical intimacy. It may seem like an innocuous thing (and I know everyone has different ideas regarding sex), but guys respect women who make us work for their affection. If we get what we want too fast, we may get lazy or even lose respect for the woman.

Imagine he's a kid and he wants dessert (physical intimacy). You want to make sure he eats his vegetables first (goes on dates with you, learns more about you, forms an emotional bond). If you give him the dessert early, it may be be more difficult to get him to eat his dinner afterward. In his mind he already had dessert, so he got what he wanted from you.

Different strokes for different folks and there no judgement here. Just know that guys need to invest quality time in order to take a woman seriously. This is the same advice I give to any of my girl friends. If you have already had sex with the guy before he's formed an emotional bond, you could be setting yourself up for a fall. That's not to say your Leo isn't interested, just a fair warning.

Again I'm not looking to impose any particular idea or doctrine on how you handle your relationships. I believe people should do what they want. That's just a little insight into a guy's mind. From how it sounds, he seems interested in you. Also know since this is so early, while you may crave the feeling of love, those feelings will take more time to grow for him. Undoubtedly he's in lust right now. Just be careful before you get too attached. Sounds like you too still need to get to know each other.

Thank you so much for your advise! Yes i am aware of the kid loving the toy he spent months saving for more than the one he got day one 😢 bites me in the ass all the time but at a time you don't think about this.

I have given it up way too soon but it was magical and we felt a connection so i went for it. Now since he's sticking around and wants to keep seeing me i'm trying to make sure he's not in it just for sex and actually gets to know me. Will try and encourage more intimacy without actually getting intimate.

I don't think this is going to work. yes he likes to spend time with u but he will be with other women , I'm pretty sure of that . Maybe not right away but he will .. U will see what's up after a few more weeks if not sooner

Posted by SofiaV87
I don't think this is going to work. yes he likes to spend time with u but he will be with other women , I'm pretty sure of that . Maybe not right away but he will .. U will see what's up after a few more weeks if not sooner

And you got all that from my post?

Posted by aquarius_beauty

Posted by Gemsgem

Posted by SofiaV87
I don't think this is going to work. yes he likes to spend time with u but he will be with other women , I'm pretty sure of that . Maybe not right away but he will .. U will see what's up after a few more weeks if not sooner

And you got all that from my post?

Leos are known for entertaining multiple women at one time. Basically the gist is if he's not paying attention to you then he's paying attention to someone else. They always have to have someone in the picture even if it's not that serious. It's all that ego stroking / attention they crave.

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That's fair enough and every guy could be doing that but saying that he will just judging by what i have described doesn't really come across helpful and in this kind of a situation where someone's seeking advise and support it's like a kick in the gut. Saying what you just said is fair enough.

Posted by TheLibraMudra
So, what do you want here? A relationship? If so, tell him? But I would see how it pans out over the next few weeks. Not all of them are the same big, big, expressive, gift giving off the bat lovers.

I did a couple days ago. He was texting me and i asked if he wants to catch up and he said he's really busy so unless it's on sunday night he won't be available.

I calmly replied saying if i keep seeing him i will want to see more of him here and there and i don't feel like he has the time or desire to give me the attention i need.

We went back n forth a bit with him saying he doesnt want anything serious due to work, potentially doing work out of town for some time and now starting a business. He said no matter what kind of relationship we have casual or serious he will always treat me well and with respect but he can't settle down right now.

I said i don't want casual and if i keep seeing him my feelings will get involved and i don't want that so it's not good enough and he said he really likes me and still can;t do serious but hope i'll see him again.

I didn't bother going into what he means settle down, i don't mean let's move in and have babies but if i see someone for a month i eventually want the relationship to grow and have coffees and lunches, stay at each others place and send people silly snapchats together. I don't want a business arrangement of a weekly dinner drinks and sex where we have the best time yet he doesn't see me as something serious.

Move and make room for someone who wants to be all in.

Posted by aquarius_beauty

Posted by Gemsgem

Posted by aquarius_beauty

Posted by Gemsgem

Posted by SofiaV87
I don't think this is going to work. yes he likes to spend time with u but he will be with other women , I'm pretty sure of that . Maybe not right away but he will .. U will see what's up after a few more weeks if not sooner

And you got all that from my post?

Leos are known for entertaining multiple women at one time. Basically the gist is if he's not paying attention to you then he's paying attention to someone else. They always have to have someone in the picture even if it's not that serious. It's all that ego stroking / attention they crave.

That's fair enough and every guy could be doing that but saying that he will just judging by what i have described doesn't really come across helpful and in this kind of a situation where someone's seeking advise and support it's like a kick in the gut. Saying what you just said is fair enough.

I get you. She wasn't expecific and instead was a bit vague which left you even more bewildered. For your sake, I'd seek inner peace by focusing on myself. People seem to be drawn to 'aloof' individuals who have a life of their own. When they see you have a good life going for yourself they will wish to be a part of that. Just do you.

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I do and i enjoy being single i just dated to have someone share that with me eventually and i thought he was great at first but when i saw how hard it's getting i backed off as i don't need that.

I'm sure i still have some issues to deal with and i'm afraid to be hurt and left but i'm doing way better than before. It does suck though that i see so many people out there being total nut cases, being insecure and just not having it together but in loving relationships. Beats me.

Posted by Gemsgem

Posted by SofiaV87
I don't think this is going to work. yes he likes to spend time with u but he will be with other women , I'm pretty sure of that . Maybe not right away but he will .. U will see what's up after a few more weeks if not sooner

And you got all that from my post?

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Yea basically lol I'm not 100 of course

Posted by TheLibraMudra

Posted by Gemsgem

Posted by TheLibraMudra
So, what do you want here? A relationship? If so, tell him? But I would see how it pans out over the next few weeks. Not all of them are the same big, big, expressive, gift giving off the bat lovers.

I did a couple days ago. He was texting me and i asked if he wants to catch up and he said he's really busy so unless it's on sunday night he won't be available.

I calmly replied saying if i keep seeing him i will want to see more of him here and there and i don't feel like he has the time or desire to give me the attention i need.

We went back n forth a bit with him saying he doesnt want anything serious due to work, potentially doing work out of town for some time and now starting a business. He said no matter what kind of relationship we have casual or serious he will always treat me well and with respect but he can't settle down right now.

I said i don't want casual and if i keep seeing him my feelings will get involved and i don't want that so it's not good enough and he said he really likes me and still can;t do serious but hope i'll see him again.

I didn't bother going into what he means settle down, i don't mean let's move in and have babies but if i see someone for a month i eventually want the relationship to grow and have coffees and lunches, stay at each others place and send people silly snapchats together. I don't want a business arrangement of a weekly dinner drinks and sex where we have the best time yet he doesn't see me as something serious.

Move and make room for someone who wants to be all in.

He's in it for the bang. There ya go lol

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Have you got a letter from him that said that?

I can't wait for you to get married...if ever...

Posted by Gemsgem

Posted by Smidge
why are you trying not to answer?

the texting game is shit, i've never understood it.

I've never understood it before either but I used to wear my heart on a sleeve and be too available which ended up hurting me as I always showed my affection more. Just trying not to get hurt I guess :/ sometimes I'm genuinely busy and don't want to answer in a rush while I'm in the middle of something.

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You didn't get hurt because you wore your heart on your sleeve. You got hurt cause you got emotionally invested too soon. Playing games is not the way to solve that cycle.

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
this is fuking crazy!!!



Only after a month. Sheet. Clinger on aisle 5

"I didn't bother going into what he means settle down, i don't mean let's move in and have babies but if i see someone for a month i eventually want the relationship to grow and have coffees and lunches, stay at each others place and send people silly snapchats together. I don't want a business arrangement of a weekly dinner drinks and sex where we have the best time yet he doesn't see me as something serious. "

Haha really, is this what we have lowered our expectations to? What is the acceptable now, 3 or 6 months? And if it's like 5.5 months he can turn around and say oh i thought we were casual?

You can think i'm crazy all you want, but if you think a month is nearly not enough to feel something for the person and want the relationship between you to grow be my guest and let people lead you on for months.

I'm sure you have it all figured out being chill and calling people names.

Posted by aquarius_beauty

Posted by Gemsgem

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
this is fuking crazy!!!



Only after a month. Sheet. Clinger on aisle 5

"I didn't bother going into what he means settle down, i don't mean let's move in and have babies but if i see someone for a month i eventually want the relationship to grow and have coffees and lunches, stay at each others place and send people silly snapchats together. I don't want a business arrangement of a weekly dinner drinks and sex where we have the best time yet he doesn't see me as something serious. "

Haha really, is this what we have lowered our expectations to? What is the acceptable now, 3 or 6 months? And if it's like 5.5 months he can turn around and say oh i thought we were casual?

You can think i'm crazy all you want, but if you think a month is nearly not enough to feel something for the person and want the relationship between you to grow be my guest and let people lead you on for months.

I'm sure you have it all figured out being chill and calling people names.

I went a whole year before I even considered becoming official with my previous lovers. It takes time for some people and if you are in a whole different level and expect them to rush things, then why even bother with them?

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I know everyone is different and moves in different paces. As per my previous couple of posts I have told him how I feel and we're not at the right levels so I'm moving on.