Broken due to misunderstanding

So this leeb and i were something and we had to forcefully unwillingly break up for a reason beyond our control. We were really close friends before we started feeling something for each other and because we had to forcefully breakup even though we really liked each other we didn't harbour negative feelings for each other and moving on was even tougher (especially since we study in the same college and in the same class).

He used to avoid me but we'd still talk okay.Now,on saturday we had a rough argument over a misunderstanding. It started with his best friend suddenly texts me saying he(my ex) only views me as a good friend and nothing more. I lost my calm at how sudden ,emotionally wounding and unnecessary that text was because I had clearly told him that i respect and accept his decision to breakup and I'm not the clingy kind. So i totally lost my cool when i read that text and i misinterpreted it as him saying he(my ex) has been feeling so about me all the way through and that he never really saw me as more than a friend.So i replied him saying "but he said he wants us to be a long term thing and that he really likes me and sees me in his future.What was all that about? All lies. I thought we brokeup because of a reason beyond our control but atleast didnt think things were fake.". As expected,he showed this msg to my ex and my ex then texted me saying how much he is shocked reading my response.He was all "you hurt me really bad with your response.I trusted you more than anymore else but wow,feels bad to have your trust broken". I asked him to try to understand why i reacted the way i did and he was like "you should have kept in mind the level of trust and honesty we have shared before concluding". I was like "dudeee..at least for once try to get in my shoes and try to understand" and he texted saying "lets end this argument.I still dont get it why you reacted the way you did because it's baseless keeping in mind the kind of bond we shared.I still had that strong bond with you despite all that we had to go through together but i feel you broke that trust.Leave me and my friends alone for now.I goto go now" and BOOOM HE BLOCKED ME. I was seriously like WTF!?!?!! We came across each other in college yesterday and he avoidedignored me like plague and i did the same for him too. During lunch my friend told me his group of friends were teasing him for blocking me and he was asking them to keep quiet. Then our mutual friend drove us back home and he was sitting behind me and my best friend was sitting in front of me and he(my best friend) later told me that he saw him(my ex) staring at me many a times from the front mirror of the car. And then today we observed that he(my ex) was kinda jealous that my friend(the guy) and I have been hanging out too much lately.

Can anyone help me understand this libra behavior and if this guy will unblock me and get back to normal? I know it's unwise to speculate but still.Thanks!!

Posted by tiziani
This story typifies what I've speculated about Libra-Pisces for a while: weak protective instincts for the relationship when these two get together.

Everything else is usually very good (apart from verbal communication) yet these two signs love to reach for alibis in the eyes of others and rely on their partner to be the more protective one from outside interference.

So you have both relying on the other for something that is neither sign's natural instinct.

Removing all astrology for it, he gave you an unnecessary test. Your response does betray your lack of trust in the relationship, but so does the fact that he's even ok with putting your relationship in the hands of his "friend" in the first place.

All of this was entirely avoidable on both your parts, but there's no blame assigned. It's just something you learn not to do, with experience, because you learn nothing and it serves no purpose.

Makes sense.Tiziani,I do realize my mistake of over-reacting to the situation.It's just that so many things were already emotionally piled up for me.His friend telling me on thursday that myex was probably confused and that's why he didn't tell his best friends about us any sooner.And then on friday 2 people mocking me saying "you said you two were best friends whereas he talks to everyone except you" and then his best friend texting me..I really lost my calm and sanity so i just emotionally exploded.Hours later i realized i could have handled this just so so so much better and i regret what i replied and that i didn't mean any of those words about he faking our relationship when we were together. I perfectly understand how that must have hurt him and I am very much willing to explain and apologize but he just blocked me a minute after the argument and we avoid/ignore each other in college since these 3 days. I don't understand what to do and if he will ever unblock me.

You can't break a trust in a relationship when there's no relationship. From my understanding you guys were OVER? You don't owe him coddling. I actually don't understand what he wanted you to say.

For future references, if anyone ever tells/asks about an ex just tell them: "I wish it didn't end the way it did, but I don't regret anything. Maybe he didn't feel the same way but it was all real to me."

Never bash an ex. (Not saying you did) it's rude, no matter how hurt. So if you want him back make sure you never say anything bad.

His bestfriend secretly wants you btw.

Thank you for responding @blackphase @2Moon and @libraqueen.

Lol,no his best friend doesn't like me like that way at all.No such thing. The thing is, when my ex was absent last week on thursday,i sat with his best friend and just out of curiosity i asked him when did my ex tell him about us.He said "he told me very late about you two and i was really mad at him for sharing it so late".

I asked him "why did he tell you so late? You're his bestie".He said "perhaps he was confused" (this line fu**ed up everything)

Now that line messed up my emotions and mind because i was only thinking "he called me his the one and said how much he wants us to be a long term thing.How he fought with his family for us,then how can this guy not be sure about me and us and be confused". Then on saturday his best friend texts me saying " I want you to know something and i hope you wont be sad or overthink.He isn't confused.He is all clear tht he doesn't like you that way..you knw wht i mean..He respects you and your friendship alot and needs a friend like you but not anything more will ever happen..He can't say to you this directly as it's harsh..

And he doesn't want you to be sad because of him.."

And i responded "when did he say this to you?".He said "He told yesterday.And he didn't ask me to tell you this but I thought it would be better if i told you this.Was i right to say all this to you?" I responded "so what was all that then. "you're the one for me" "to how many girls did I say I want to spend my lifetime with? None. Only you" "I really want us to be a long term thing" ? what was all that then? all lies. And all this time I thought we broke up for a reason beyond our control but thought things weren't fake atleast. But thanks I should have known so thanks.".He said "he always says you're a great girl and he has never met any girl more amzing than you but there cant be anything you two ever". Then my ex texted me saying "i just spoke to him and read the chat.Absolutly shocked and wowed at your response and reaction.Can't believe you said that and had such emotions of doubt for me ". Then he said "he texted you because that day when he told you i am confused it was because I had told my friends to never say to you anything that might hurt you so he said i am confused instead of outright saying "he doesnt like you that way anymore".He later thought he inadvertently made it appear like I am thinking of a comeback so he texted you this today to clear out the thing.It's true that i don't see you as anything more than a friend now after we brokeup but I was never confused or unsure about us and you when we were together.I can't believe you reacted this way and said that.I trusted you more than anyone else and you are "he faked it.I should have known the guy was lying.Damn!!!"". So basically the main issue here is that his best friend misinterpreted me that day when i asked him "why did he tell you about us so late".He probably assumed i was talking about the breakup.

so his best friend misinterpreted me that day and I misinterpreted him when he texted me that day.It's all f**ked up bad due to misinterpretation and misunderstanding.He doesnt understand his best friend misinterpreted my question that day.I still tried to make him understand and asked him to understand why i behaved and reacted the way i did but he said "Lets just finish this argument.Okay, i dont realize why you reacted( even though i still say your reasons are not worth if u keep in mind the level of trust and honesty i had with you)

Dont say anything now. I am a delusion.

Leave me and my friends alone for now,

I just had that bond of trust and honesty with you after what happened to us, and i feel you broke it.

I cant talk now, got to go to the med store" and boom he blocked me.

I don't mind explaining and clearing the air and apologizing.I know how this has hurt him but the dude blocked me on whatsapp. Like seriously WTF!! My ego and self respect feels murdered big time. I don't know what to do and if he'll ever unblock me again.I miss our friendship.

DUDE wtf? So he doesn't like you anymore, and that made you doubt if feelings were ever there in the first place (very possible. real feelings usually never go away) and he reacted by saying you were wrong for feeling the way you did? WTF?

I'm having a headache. He is a headache. Not worth it.

maybe the fact that he's a libra sun with scorpio venus the reason behind his dramatic behavior?

I reacted dramatic too but it took me just an hour to realize that but for him,oh man,4 days and still blocked.

Oh God oh God.

Posted by gia
maybe the fact that he's a libra sun with scorpio venus the reason behind his dramatic behavior?

I reacted dramatic too but it took me just an hour to realize that but for him,oh man,4 days and still blocked.

Oh God oh God.

Eh he'll unblock you eventually, since you technically didn't really do anything.

I have a few people blocked on Facebook, but I only do that when I want to cut someone out of my life and they'll never have to ask if we are on good terms again or not, because the block should say plenty. He's just making a statement: "I want you to know I'm mad. I will be un-mad when I unblock you" kinda thing.

Posted by libraqueeen
He's just making a statement: "I want you to know I'm mad. I will be un-mad when I unblock you" kinda thing.

Yeah this makes sense. Although i hope this ends real soon.It's been 4-5 days already.He behaves as if I'm dead to him.

One of his friends came to me and said "we told him you could have told her that you dont want to discuss about that but shouldnt have told her "leave me and my friends alone".He said he didnt really mean to say that but said it in the heat of the moment as he was too mad at you".But he doesnt slow slightest of remorse in class. Instead,he behaves like I am dead to him.

I don't know how to behave. If i should show i am happy and i don't care that he blocked me or if i should show how upset I am (which i really am).

Any suggestion?

Posted by tiziani

Posted by gia
One of his friends came to me and said "we told him you could have told her that you dont want to discuss about that but shouldnt have told her "leave me and my friends alone".He said he didnt really mean to say that but said it in the heat of the moment as he was too mad at you".But he doesnt slow slightest of remorse in class. Instead,he behaves like I am dead to him.

I don't know how to behave. If i should show i am happy and i don't care that he blocked me or if i should show how upset I am (which i really am).

Any suggestion?

You don't have to behave any other way than be genuine and not dwell on mistakes. What happened, happened. You're upset so spend time doing anything you enjoy doing with friends.

click to expand

You mean it's okay to show him I am upset about him blocking me? What i do is ,i am hurting a lot inside but when he behaves like i dont exist,i try to behave the same for him too.In real I just feeling like telling him to sit next to me and talk it out and resolve the issue but it doesn't at all feel like he wants to and plus my ego and self esteem feels heavily pricked.

So it's okay to show him (not say but show) that I am really upset?

The bottom line is he no longer wishes to be friendly. He may come around in time but for now it's done.

I understand you may lament the loss but it doesn't sound you were left with much after your break up. I think it's time to accept what has happened and focus on new things.

Posted by gia

Posted by tiziani

Posted by gia
One of his friends came to me and said "we told him you could have told her that you dont want to discuss about that but shouldnt have told her "leave me and my friends alone".He said he didnt really mean to say that but said it in the heat of the moment as he was too mad at you".But he doesnt slow slightest of remorse in class. Instead,he behaves like I am dead to him.

I don't know how to behave. If i should show i am happy and i don't care that he blocked me or if i should show how upset I am (which i really am).

Any suggestion?

You don't have to behave any other way than be genuine and not dwell on mistakes. What happened, happened. You're upset so spend time doing anything you enjoy doing with friends.

You mean it's okay to show him I am upset about him blocking me? What i do is ,i am hurting a lot inside but when he behaves like i dont exist,i try to behave the same for him too.In real I just feeling like telling him to sit next to me and talk it out and resolve the issue but it doesn't at all feel like he wants to and plus my ego and self esteem feels heavily pricked.

So it's okay to show him (not say but show) that I am really upset?

click to expand

If you show him how upset you are he's just going to lose respect for you or feel in control of you.

A little update-

He unblocked me on friday morning. Not sure what was he thinking then but I was surprised and extremely happy he did. However,he still continued and continues to behave like i don't exist.He hasnt even opened my profile once after unblocking me. One of his best friends sat next to me on friday evening and i asked him not to as I didn't want my ex to get mad since he had said "leave me and my friends alone for now" so after I said that to his best friend,he said "we told him he shouldn't have told you that.He said he was really mad at you when he said that but he didn't mean it. We also told him he can't ask you to not talk to us since you are our good friend too. We told him he's at fault and he shouldn't have talked to you that way and blocked you. We also ridiculed him saying how he played with your feelings" and then we had to leave as our bus came and I couldn't continue the talk.

This is the first weekend we haven't talked. This is the time we'd both come online and talk about the weekend as friends. Don't know how long will he stay mad and if he will ever msg me at all..

Posted by tiziani
Again still too much involvement from friends/third parties. That will be the end of you both: inviting outside opinions. It only breeds toxic energy.

That makes sense,Tiziani.However, considering the fact that he is someone who does get influenced by people's opinion,shouldn't it help instead of backfiring?

Posted by tiziani

Posted by gia

Posted by tiziani
Again still too much involvement from friends/third parties. That will be the end of you both: inviting outside opinions. It only breeds toxic energy.

That makes sense,Tiziani.However, considering the fact that he is someone who does get influenced by people's opinion,shouldn't it help instead of backfiring?

Are you really comfortable ending up in a relationship influenced by outside opinion? It's your choice. Only you can know. Think of the long term implications of a relationship where it's future doesn't depend on you two alone.

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I completely do agree with you. But also,I am not looking for a relationship with him now because his parents have objected and so he had to breakup. What you said applies for friendship too and not just relationship alone.We both wanted us to remain the close friends we always were but then this mess happened. All I really want for us now is to regain normalcy and retain our friendship. Given how undecisive he can be at times,I thought that maybe his friends did the right thing by telling him he shouldn't have done that and how that must have hurt my feelings.I thought maybe atleast then he should realize how this has hurt me.I just wanted us to accept where we went wrong,apologize for hurting each other and regain normalcy. But you are right about how friends getting involved can do no good but rather bad.

Just an update - I felt really low today.I still am. We still haven't talked since that argument. He unblocked me last week a week later and I thought that's a good sign but he continues to behave as if I'm dead to him. Today was even more hurtful.

I was sitting with his friends outside class and we were having a fun talk.My ex wanted to join but he didn't because I was there sitting there too(which i later realized) so he stayed back in class.The minute he saw me leave he came out and joined his friends.

Then,we group of 5 people(including him) wanted to head back home and they found a cab. Three of his friends got in and they asked my friend(a guy) to join them.My friend told them "Hey (me) and (my girl-friend) are a bit ahead so we could stop the cab for them on our way so they can join in too". I clearly heard my ex tell his best friend "I don't want to go with them". So they all left without me. That made me feel that he hates me now. Like WTH!! WHYYYYY.

I really wish we could atleast talk it out and clear the misunderstanding.I sense so much negativity. It's getting painful for me to see us behave like this in college.

Do libra men behave like this when angry/hurt? They just behave like you're dead to them?!?

I feel way too emotionally down now 😢

AND NOW HE BLOCKED ME AGAIN...WTFF!!! LIKE SERIOUSLY WTF

I haven't done anything.It's starting to appear funny now.

Posted by gia

So basically the main issue here is that his best friend misinterpreted me

Wrong !!!



The main issue is that you are conversing with other people about him. You mentioned at least 6 different people, including the ones who mocked you because they dont' see your words matching your actions.

It makes no fucking difference what other people think, say or do ... because they can only interpret what is going on from their own perspective.

instead of actually talking one on one with your boyfriend ... you are recruiting other voices to chime in.



And THAT is your only issue here. Had to talked to your boyfriend directly about all of these things, and ONLY him .... then all of this would have been avoided.



Basically .... you respond from gossip, and actually expect honorable responses from him. And visa versa apparently.

You both sound like you have the emotional maturity of a 12 year olds.

I don't know if I did the right thing or not but his best friend messaged me asking about some homework.I replied and I asked "why did he block me again? it's as if he's playing this block block game.It's not a fun game,you know".

He said "i don't know,really.He doesnt talk about it .Don't worry he'll unblock you tomorrow and he wont block you again".

I said "plz don't ask him to unblock him.It's his decision.I just wanted to know why.But chuck it."

He said "he doesnt tell me things in details"

I said "it's just that we liked each other before everything happened and we brokeup not because of our fault and we both talked of continuing to stay friends despite what happened.So,I just hoped there wouldnt be negativity between us.If he wants to end friendship because of one argument due to some misunderstanding ,then I don't have any say in this"

He said "see,dont overthink so much.I know it feels bad thinking a dude blocked you and he shouldnt have done that and all but leave it.How does it matter now.Stay happy,read jokes,laugh,play,come first in class and make your parents proud .What else one wants in life.(movie line)"

I said "haha..i just got back from my friend's birthday man. Was just asking why playing this block block game.I'll go get my homework done now for tomorrow"

he said "wow man..That line from that movie actually worked."

A minute later he said "sorry,that msg was by mistake"

i then understood he was texting that to my ex so i said "hahaha..so you wanted to send it to him.You got caught boy"

He said "i am an innocent guy who doesnt get involved in such matters.I'll go now bye"

and he was still online.

I feel played.

I don't know man. I feel so wired up.

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by gia

So basically the main issue here is that his best friend misinterpreted me

Wrong !!!



The main issue is that you are conversing with other people about him. You mentioned at least 6 different people, including the ones who mocked you because they dont' see your words matching your actions.

It makes no fucking difference what other people think, say or do ... because they can only interpret what is going on from their own perspective.

instead of actually talking one on one with your boyfriend ... you are recruiting other voices to chime in.



And THAT is your only issue here. Had to talked to your boyfriend directly about all of these things, and ONLY him .... then all of this would have been avoided.



Basically .... you respond from gossip, and actually expect honorable responses from him. And visa versa apparently.

You both sound like you have the emotional maturity of a 12 year olds.

click to expand

umm no. Okay,I agree we did discuss this with our friends and that is normal but i don't let people make decisions for me.I made an initiative to talk to him and clear it out.He didn't want to. And instead blocked.

Posted by gia
I don't know if I did the right thing or not but his best friend messaged me asking about some homework.I replied and I asked "why did he block me again? it's as if he's playing this block block game.It's not a fun game,you know".

He said "i don't know,really.He doesnt talk about it .Don't worry he'll unblock you tomorrow and he wont block you again".

I said "plz don't ask him to unblock him.It's his decision.I just wanted to know why.But chuck it."

He said "he doesnt tell me things in details"

I said "it's just that we liked each other before everything happened and we brokeup not because of our fault and we both talked of continuing to stay friends despite what happened.So,I just hoped there wouldnt be negativity between us.If he wants to end friendship because of one argument due to some misunderstanding ,then I don't have any say in this"

He said "see,dont overthink so much.I know it feels bad thinking a dude blocked you and he shouldnt have done that and all but leave it.How does it matter now.Stay happy,read jokes,laugh,play,come first in class and make your parents proud .What else one wants in life.(movie line)"

I said "haha..i just got back from my friend's birthday man. Was just asking why playing this block block game.I'll go get my homework done now for tomorrow"

he said "wow man..That line from that movie actually worked."

A minute later he said "sorry,that msg was by mistake"

i then understood he was texting that to my ex so i said "hahaha..so you wanted to send it to him.You got caught boy"

He said "i am an innocent guy who doesnt get involved in such matters.I'll go now bye"

and he was still online.

I feel played.

I don't know man. I feel so wired up.

Sounds like you'd be wise to focus on more important things in life.