Need advice for a friend

This topic was created in the Miscellaneous forum by Dastard2020 on Saturday, February 24, 2024 and has 49 replies.

Profile picture of Dastard2020
@Dastard2020
6 Years1,000+ Posts

So I have a female friend that I've known for many years. We've lost touch but recently reconnected. She's gained over a 100 pounds, is working at a job she hates and making minimum wage. She is depressed about her current situation. My advice to her was to see a therapist/psychiatrist who could perhaps address and treat her mental struggles and distress more effectively.

But she says she can't afford it. She's so depressed about the thought of never being able to own a house, she's depressed and angry about being overweight, she's upset about not being able to afford her medical bills and doesn't want to see a doctor because she is afraid she is going to be told to lose weight, she's upset she hasn't had a girlfriend in years as a result of her weight gain.

She's been living in a trailer park for years now and was suriving on food stamps, financial aid from the government and unemployment money. She still lives in a trailer park but I've help her get the job she now has (which she hates).

I told her perhaps she can afford to see a specialist with the money she's making but she squanders all her money on grubhub and groceries (junk food).

I want to do more for her but I feel like the next step would be to just give her money I don't feel comfortable doing that. Nor do I think she'd be able to pay me back.

Any thoughts?

Profile picture of MyStarsShine
@MyStarsShine
9 Years25,000+ Posts

Saju (사주/四柱) means the four pillars of destiny - Chinese, Japanese and Korean conceptual term describing a person's destiny or fate based on the sexagenary cycle or 60 Gapja (육십갑자/六十甲子) called Ancient Chinese zodiac .

Profile picture of MyStarsShine
@MyStarsShine
9 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by hoeflation
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by hoeflation
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by hoeflation
What does her bazi look like? 😅

Did you say Saju on FT is same as Bazi?

Yes on there

But I have no idea wtf Saju is I’ve never heard of it except on that app

Might google later

Thanks

Do you find it accurate on FT?

The Saju readings are shortcuts to something a bazi reader would tell you

Like if they say when will I meet my souls mate as just an example

They’re looking at the spouse star showing up at the luckiest decade but they do all the figuring that out for you and just give you a date 😅

click to expand

Lol

I’ve been reading the day to day Saju reports and find them dead on!

I’m not looking for a soulmate 🤣

Profile picture of VenusAquarius
@VenusAquarius
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by Dastard2020
So I have a female friend that I've known for many years. We've lost touch but recently reconnected. She's gained over a 100 pounds, is working at a job she hates and making minimum wage. She is depressed about her current situation. My advice to her was to see a therapist/psychiatrist who could perhaps address and treat her mental struggles and distress more effectively.

But she says she can't afford it. She's so depressed about the thought of never being able to own a house, she's depressed and angry about being overweight, she's upset about not being able to afford her medical bills and doesn't want to see a doctor because she is afraid she is going to be told to lose weight, she's upset she hasn't had a girlfriend in years as a result of her weight gain.

She's been living in a trailer park for years now and was suriving on food stamps, financial aid from the government and unemployment money. She still lives in a trailer park but I've help her get the job she now has (which she hates).

I told her perhaps she can afford to see a specialist with the money she's making but she squanders all her money on grubhub and groceries (junk food).

I want to do more for her but I feel like the next step would be to just give her money I don't feel comfortable doing that. Nor do I think she'd be able to pay me back.

Any thoughts?

I think exercise would solve half of her problems. Keep pushing her to exercise. Exercise improves mental health by reducing anxiety, depression, and negative mood and by improving self-esteem and cognitive function. For this reason, I would try a personal trainer before a therapist. Exercise strangely regulates craving... I think it gives a lot of good endorphins that replaces the ones people get from over-eating. It will also eventually make you feel full sooner. Diet is NOT the key. Let it happen naturally with exercise or she'll end up with saggy skin. Slow and steady but consistent.

I think you could help by being a work-out buddy.... scheduling a time everyday to go for a one hour walk.

Based on what you wrote, she's got alot of anxiety (worrying about the future), predicting negatively about her future. She can get a second job. There's alot work from home jobs out there that she could pick-up as second gig.

I read a snarky comment years ago that exercise is a poor woman's plastic surgery.

Profile picture of MyStarsShine
@MyStarsShine
9 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by VenusAquarius
Posted by Dastard2020
So I have a female friend that I've known for many years. We've lost touch but recently reconnected. She's gained over a 100 pounds, is working at a job she hates and making minimum wage. She is depressed about her current situation. My advice to her was to see a therapist/psychiatrist who could perhaps address and treat her mental struggles and distress more effectively.
But she says she can't afford it. She's so depressed about the thought of never being able to own a house, she's depressed and angry about being overweight, she's upset about not being able to afford her medical bills and doesn't want to see a doctor because she is afraid she is going to be told to lose weight, she's upset she hasn't had a girlfriend in years as a result of her weight gain.
She's been living in a trailer park for years now and was suriving on food stamps, financial aid from the government and unemployment money. She still lives in a trailer park but I've help her get the job she now has (which she hates).
I told her perhaps she can afford to see a specialist with the money she's making but she squanders all her money on grubhub and groceries (junk food).
I want to do more for her but I feel like the next step would be to just give her money I don't feel comfortable doing that. Nor do I think she'd be able to pay me back.
Any thoughts?


I think exercise would solve half of her problems. Keep pushing her to exercise. Exercise improves mental health by reducing anxiety, depression, and negative mood and by improving self-esteem and cognitive function. For this reason, I would try a personal trainer before a therapist. Exercise strangely regulates craving... I think it gives a lot of good endorphins that replaces the ones people get from over-eating. It will also eventually make you feel full sooner. Diet is NOT the key. Let it happen naturally with exercise or she'll end up with saggy skin. Slow and steady but consistent.

I think you could help by being a work-out buddy.... scheduling a time everyday to go for a one hour walk.

Based on what you wrote, she's got alot of anxiety (worrying about the future), predicting negatively about her future. She can get a second job. There's alot work from home jobs out there that she could pick-up as second gig.

I read a snarky comment years ago that exercise is a poor woman's plastic surgery.

click to expand

Great advice 👍

Profile picture of Dastard2020
@Dastard2020
6 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by Wurted
does the trailer have wheels

Nomad life

Honestly I don't know. We've reconnected online. She never showed me where she lives, but she did tell me she lives in a trailer park. I think she's hiding. She's so ashamed of herself clearly but too prideful to admit it.

Profile picture of Dastard2020
@Dastard2020
6 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by hoeflation
Posted by Dastard2020
Posted by hoeflation
Posted by Dastard2020
Posted by hoeflation
What does her bazi look like? 😅

No idea.
Is this a good site to calculate her bazi?
https://www.prokerala.com/feng-shui/bazi-calculator.php
click to expand

https://www.chinesefortunecalendar.com/Chineseastrology.htm
click to expand

It's not loading for me for some reason. Can you enter her info?
March 25th, 1978
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States
click to expand


wtf

click to expand

What does that mean? @_@

Profile picture of Dastard2020
@Dastard2020
6 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by hoeflation
Posted by Dastard2020
Posted by hoeflation
Posted by Dastard2020
Posted by hoeflation
Posted by Dastard2020
Posted by hoeflation
What does her bazi look like? 😅

No idea.
Is this a good site to calculate her bazi?
https://www.prokerala.com/feng-shui/bazi-calculator.php
click to expand

https://www.chinesefortunecalendar.com/Chineseastrology.htm
click to expand

It's not loading for me for some reason. Can you enter her info?
March 25th, 1978
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States
click to expand

wtf

What does that mean? @_@
click to expand


Looks like she’s in luck 😅

Must be something wrong 🤣

click to expand

Definitely. She attracts a lot of misfortune.

That's why I choose to keep my distance despite wanting to help her. She chooses to surround herself in negativity. Her best friend is a lonely, self-hating, hardcore alcoholic with no direction in life. He's in the same situation as her in the relationship department, and he also happens to be overweight.

Profile picture of Dastard2020
@Dastard2020
6 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by hoeflation
Posted by Dastard2020
Posted by hoeflation
Posted by Dastard2020
Posted by hoeflation
Posted by Dastard2020
Posted by hoeflation
Posted by Dastard2020
Posted by hoeflation
What does her bazi look like? 😅

No idea.
Is this a good site to calculate her bazi?
https://www.prokerala.com/feng-shui/bazi-calculator.php
click to expand

https://www.chinesefortunecalendar.com/Chineseastrology.htm
click to expand

It's not loading for me for some reason. Can you enter her info?
March 25th, 1978
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States
click to expand

wtf

What does that mean? @_@
click to expand

Looks like she’s in luck 😅
Must be something wrong 🤣

Definitely. She attracts a lot of misfortune.

That's why I choose to keep my distance despite wanting to help her. She chooses to surround herself in negativity. Her best friend is a lonely, self-hating, hardcore alcoholic with no direction in life. He's in the same situation as her in the relationship department, and he also happens to be overweight.

click to expand


Is he a Scorpio?
click to expand

He's a Leo I think. I remember she told me on the day of his birthday he was throwing a pity party, getting drunk and going on self-hating, nihilistic rants and alternating to egomaniac rants back and forth. This was back in late July/early August of last year.

I think his whole family passed or something. Not quite sure. But he's damaged beyond repair.

Profile picture of Dastard2020
@Dastard2020
6 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by BadderBunny
Posted by Dastard2020
Posted by Walk_on_by
I haven't had a girlfriend in years and I'm not even fat, give me the money instead

Her situation is tough because she only wants to date Scorpio women. So her dating pool is even smaller than the average overweight woman.
She's an Aries btw.
click to expand


No wait a minute. 😆 Is this friend on dxp? You almost had me.
click to expand

I won't say out of respect for her.

She only goes after straight, Scorpio women. Which is quite problematic.

Profile picture of MyStarsShine
@MyStarsShine
9 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by BadderBunny
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by hoeflation
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by hoeflation
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by hoeflation
What does her bazi look like? 😅

Did you say Saju on FT is same as Bazi?

Yes on there

But I have no idea wtf Saju is I’ve never heard of it except on that app

Might google later

Thanks

Do you find it accurate on FT?

The Saju readings are shortcuts to something a bazi reader would tell you

Like if they say when will I meet my souls mate as just an example

They’re looking at the spouse star showing up at the luckiest decade but they do all the figuring that out for you and just give you a date 😅
click to expand


Lol

I’ve been reading the day to day Saju reports and find them dead on!

I’m not looking for a soulmate 🤣

I think I have already run all the predictions. Apparently I'm meeting my soulmate this is my year. But uh...I already declared May through December self care months. So maybe I will meet him at a spa. 🤣

click to expand

That’s funny. 😀

Where is the soulmate section, I’ve never seen that lol, maybe because they don’t see one for me 😅

Profile picture of MyStarsShine
@MyStarsShine
9 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by BadderBunny
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by BadderBunny
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by hoeflation
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by hoeflation
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by hoeflation
What does her bazi look like? 😅

Did you say Saju on FT is same as Bazi?

Yes on there

But I have no idea wtf Saju is I’ve never heard of it except on that app

Might google later

Thanks

Do you find it accurate on FT?

The Saju readings are shortcuts to something a bazi reader would tell you

Like if they say when will I meet my souls mate as just an example

They’re looking at the spouse star showing up at the luckiest decade but they do all the figuring that out for you and just give you a date 😅
click to expand


Lol

I’ve been reading the day to day Saju reports and find them dead on!

I’m not looking for a soulmate 🤣

I think I have already run all the predictions. Apparently I'm meeting my soulmate this is my year. But uh...I already declared May through December self care months. So maybe I will meet him at a spa. 🤣

That’s funny. 😀

Where is the soulmate section, I’ve never seen that lol, maybe because they don’t see one for me 😅

Its the when will I meet my true love quiz.

click to expand

😄

Thanks

Profile picture of Lostthoughts
@Lostthoughts
6 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by Dastard2020
So I have a female friend that I've known for many years. We've lost touch but recently reconnected. She's gained over a 100 pounds, is working at a job she hates and making minimum wage. She is depressed about her current situation. My advice to her was to see a therapist/psychiatrist who could perhaps address and treat her mental struggles and distress more effectively.

But she says she can't afford it. She's so depressed about the thought of never being able to own a house, she's depressed and angry about being overweight, she's upset about not being able to afford her medical bills and doesn't want to see a doctor because she is afraid she is going to be told to lose weight, she's upset she hasn't had a girlfriend in years as a result of her weight gain.

She's been living in a trailer park for years now and was suriving on food stamps, financial aid from the government and unemployment money. She still lives in a trailer park but I've help her get the job she now has (which she hates).

I told her perhaps she can afford to see a specialist with the money she's making but she squanders all her money on grubhub and groceries (junk food).

I want to do more for her but I feel like the next step would be to just give her money I don't feel comfortable doing that. Nor do I think she'd be able to pay me back.

Any thoughts?

REAL depression is a bitch. It's not a mood rather a way of existing.

That kind of depression ribs you of the motivation and energy to do the things to get you out of depression. It's like a trap.

Reduces will power as well.

And color your judgement it's hard to see the good and opportunities because it dies the world in shades if gray.

So my advice is for her to pick on things to work on. It does sound like exercise would address a couple issues at once.

Go to them gym. It will take time to see results but she will feel better over time and see results.

For now everyday or other day. Mornings are best. No skipping days. It's about building the habit.

So even if she just there for 20 minutes I stead of 30 or a hour it counts.

Profile picture of Undine
@Undine
13 Years5,000+ Posts

My advice would be to let her be. She’s got a job, a roof above her head, similarly poor neighbours, plenty of food to keep her fat, and she clearly does not want to date.

Her situation is far from desperate. She has not hit the rock bottom, or any “milestone” that would make her want to change, so why would you?

Profile picture of RollergirlOrc
@RollergirlOrc
12 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by Undine
My advice would be to let her be. She’s got a job, a roof above her head, similarly poor neighbours, plenty of food to keep her fat, and she clearly does not want to date.

Her situation is far from desperate. She has not hit the rock bottom, or any “milestone” that would make her want to change, so why would you?

The thing is, people don't casually gain 100 lbs unless they struggle with food addiction or they have like.. a thyroid disorder or on some sort of medication that fks with their blood sugar so I mean.. unless she was pretty big to begin with, I don't really see this happening 😅

Profile picture of Jumpin_Jupiter
@Jumpin_Jupiter
7 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by Dastard2020
So I have a female friend that I've known for many years. We've lost touch but recently reconnected. She's gained over a 100 pounds, is working at a job she hates and making minimum wage. She is depressed about her current situation. My advice to her was to see a therapist/psychiatrist who could perhaps address and treat her mental struggles and distress more effectively.

But she says she can't afford it. She's so depressed about the thought of never being able to own a house, she's depressed and angry about being overweight, she's upset about not being able to afford her medical bills and doesn't want to see a doctor because she is afraid she is going to be told to lose weight, she's upset she hasn't had a girlfriend in years as a result of her weight gain.

She's been living in a trailer park for years now and was suriving on food stamps, financial aid from the government and unemployment money. She still lives in a trailer park but I've help her get the job she now has (which she hates).

I told her perhaps she can afford to see a specialist with the money she's making but she squanders all her money on grubhub and groceries (junk food).

I want to do more for her but I feel like the next step would be to just give her money I don't feel comfortable doing that. Nor do I think she'd be able to pay me back.

Any thoughts?

Um like something doesn't sound quite right in this picture. With the weight sichiation. How did she managed to gain over a hundred pounds? That's a lot of weight bubba. Unless the last time you've seen her she was I assume really skinny? Like 110lbs and now at 210? Cus if she was already fat from the jump she would be pushing 400lbs by now.

As far as any thoughts, I would probably go along what the others on this thread advise. Cus id probably give the same advice too.

Profile picture of Undine
@Undine
13 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by RollergirlOrc
Posted by Undine
My advice would be to let her be. She’s got a job, a roof above her head, similarly poor neighbours, plenty of food to keep her fat, and she clearly does not want to date.

Her situation is far from desperate. She has not hit the rock bottom, or any “milestone” that would make her want to change, so why would you?

The thing is, people don't casually gain 100 lbs unless they struggle with food addiction or they have like.. a thyroid disorder or on some sort of medication that fks with their blood sugar so I mean.. unless she was pretty big to begin with, I don't really see this happening 😅

click to expand

Possibly yes, but blood tests and help with health issues could be provided by a primary care doctor, on a basic health insurance, not by us. Unfortunately, many women put on substantial weight past the 40es. I was doing my new guest bedroom recently and had to take into consideration that many of the women that may use it are overweight 🙀

Profile picture of Astrobyn
@Astrobyn
12 Years1,000+ Posts

"She's so depressed about the thought of never being able to own a house"

NOBODY CAN BUY A HOUSE!!!

If you didn't already buy a house before 2020 your not getting a fucking house. Now will our economy completely collapse to force us on to a digital currency? probably, but their still not gonna give us houses anymore.

We all have to find new dreams.

Profile picture of MyStarsShine
@MyStarsShine
9 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by Astrobyn
"She's so depressed about the thought of never being able to own a house"

NOBODY CAN BUY A HOUSE!!!

If you didn't already buy a house before 2020 your not getting a fucking house. Now will our economy completely collapse to force us on to a digital currency? probably, but their still not gonna give us houses anymore.

We all have to find new dreams.

I am 😂

Profile picture of RollergirlOrc
@RollergirlOrc
12 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by hoeflation
Posted by RollergirlOrc
Posted by Undine
My advice would be to let her be. She’s got a job, a roof above her head, similarly poor neighbours, plenty of food to keep her fat, and she clearly does not want to date.
Her situation is far from desperate. She has not hit the rock bottom, or any “milestone” that would make her want to change, so why would you?

The thing is, people don't casually gain 100 lbs unless they struggle with food addiction or they have like.. a thyroid disorder or on some sort of medication that fks with their blood sugar so I mean.. unless she was pretty big to begin with, I don't really see this happening 😅

click to expand


Oh I’ve casually gained 100 lbs 😅
click to expand

Damn. What's your secret. I thought Taurus was skinneeeeee. #chunkyands Also who is this bluemoon chick?

Profile picture of hydorah
@hydorah
13 Years10,000+ PostsPisces

Posted by hoeflation
Posted by RollergirlOrc
Posted by hoeflation
Posted by RollergirlOrc
Posted by Undine
My advice would be to let her be. She’s got a job, a roof above her head, similarly poor neighbours, plenty of food to keep her fat, and she clearly does not want to date.
Her situation is far from desperate. She has not hit the rock bottom, or any “milestone” that would make her want to change, so why would you?

The thing is, people don't casually gain 100 lbs unless they struggle with food addiction or they have like.. a thyroid disorder or on some sort of medication that fks with their blood sugar so I mean.. unless she was pretty big to begin with, I don't really see this happening 😅
click to expand

Oh I’ve casually gained 100 lbs 😅

Damn. What's your secret. I thought Taurus was skinneeeeee. #chunkyands Also who is this bluemoon chick?
click to expand


I got a gf 🤣 #nowicangetfat

She’s an old poster who was apparently here all along lurking

Don’t worry you’re not a Scorpio woman she won’t try to get close to you

click to expand

Are there hordes of secret female lurkers waiting to bag DXP lotharios?

Profile picture of nanochip
@nanochip
3 Years1,000+ Posts

Seriously tho, I can actually see situationally how a very depressed person can gain 100lbs working an office or remote job + a harsh winter climate + being close proximity to the fast food options and being seduced by the convenience. This is the American reality for so many

I mean when I turned 30, I can gain 10 fucking pounds alone just by eating at Olive Garden 1 time 😒