What is your idea of ''good parenting''?

What is your idea of ''good parenting''?

Guidance.

The way that gets expressed depends on the parents' style and what resonates with the child.

Molding them into people that'll always be beneficial to the world and everyone around them. I don't want any entitled, selfish brat that's too focused on their well being and comfort alone. The more you teach your child to be selfless, the world will naturally give and watch over them. I think. Also, just throw them into martial arts if you fear they'll ever get bullied honestly. Nothing like a proud mama when your kid comes home saying they got detention for beating up a kid that was trying to steal their lunch money ^_^

Teach them to be independent from a young age, don't give them mixed messages and love them.

My mothers motto has always been "you can do whatever you want in life just don't hurt others or yourself" lol and she was very big on "express yourself" she loved Madonna lol

As long as they arent on those dog leashes... geez

I actually wouldn't give them mind altering substances unless they needed it......my boyfriends parents have a farm and they all smoke and it's like normal to them to wake up every morning and smoke weed and shit and even his 14 yo twin bro and sis smoke and it's weird even though I smoked it when I was 12 looking back it definitely changes and shapes your future especially depending on the type of weed culture...

So many times I've seen families where parents smoke with their kids and it backfires because the kids are dependant on the parents to supple and in turn they just enable each other....but if it works for you then fine.

I totally agree feeding kids a good diet, food is Medicine

treat them with respect, encourage the light to shine, read together, travel, make your home a soft place to fall

Posted by TachiMichiko
Sacrificing all that I am
and all that I have just for
their happiness and well
being without any second
thought.

Absolutely.

Posted by KsamCancer
Teaching them life lessons and protecting them first

Yep! A lot of parents fail to do this...

Posted by Damnata
Guidance.

The way that gets expressed depends on the parents' style and what resonates with the child.

Agreed.

Posted by femmefatale
I was talking with a friend about children and privacy, she wants to create email addresses for her children so she can have access. She doesn't mind them having cell phones and social media just as long as she has all the passwords.

I think I'd be on the opposite end of the spectrum. I want to be firm with my kids, but would also like them to feel comfortable talking to me about anything... without me having to snoop and be overbearing. Maybe I'll change my mind when I become a parent because some of the kids these days are off the chain.

One thing I do know is that I believe in spanking. The whole spare the rod and spoil the child thing lol

I like what your friend has decide to do. It's fair to me. At least she's not being super strict by not allowing them to have social media accounts at all. The least parents can do is monitor their children. That would help prevent a lot of things from happening. There have been too many examples of how toxic and dangerous social media is for parents to not be monitoring their children. Besides, what do the kids have to worry about if they have nothing to hide?

As far as spanking, I am a strong believer that if you raise them right, that you won't need to spank them.

Posted by munchykin
Put them first

Protect them, but also teach them independence

Let them make choices

Allow them to feel comfortable telling me anything

Emphasize and model honesty

Feed them healthy home cooked food

Instill both self-confidence and humility

Academics is crucial, but maintain a healthy balance in life

Instill the importance of manners

Let them drink or indulge in a bit of medical marijuana (not the gross iffy street shit) on occasion.

If they come up and confess any wrongdoings, I'll let them learn from their own mistakes and won't make more of an issue.

But God help them if they lie to me (including withholding information). I'm serious...I'm not big on spanking, but if they ever lie to me, they're in for an ass whoopin.

Teach them to respect and learn from other cultures. We'll travel to far away countries and live as closely as the locals do as possible. This is critical in gaining perspective.

They also will be learning several languages as soon as possible. Ideally languages from different linguistic families.

I'll take them shopping for religions, and if they don't identify with any of them, that's aok.

Why the medical marijuana though? Is it necessary? lol

As far as letting them make choices, I hope that doesn't mean allow them to do what they want without making any effort to prevent them from doing something that may effect them negatively in the end :/

Having high expectations, clear guidelines but also being responsive to your child's needs and comforting. Aka, authoritative parenting. Look it up. Along with this - encouraging your child to be independent is good. That starts in infancy. You sleep with your infant next to you in bed every night? They're on their way to being clingers. I was that clinger for a lot of my childhood - barely leaving my mother's side. Not good.

Also, good parenting is when you follow what you teach your kids. Meaning, parents who tell their kids not to swear or smoke because it's bad but swear and smoke themselves. Kids learn through example and seeing what others do. You got to follow up what you say with actions.

Do not teach them to fear you. Fear will only work when they're around you. They'll engage in bad behaviors when you're not around.

Posted by Scenic
Having high expectations, clear guidelines but also being responsive to your child's needs and comforting. Aka, authoritative parenting. Look it up. Along with this - encouraging your child to be independent is good. That starts in infancy. You sleep with your infant next to you in bed every night? They're on their way to being clingers. I was that clinger for a lot of my childhood - barely leaving my mother's side. Not good.

Also, good parenting is when you follow what you teach your kids. Meaning, parents who tell their kids not to swear or smoke because it's bad but swear and smoke themselves. Kids learn through example and seeing what others do. You got to follow up what you say with actions.

Do not teach them to fear you. Fear will only work when they're around you. They'll engage in bad behaviors when you're not around.

I like this.

Posted by aquapiscescusp
treat them with respect, encourage the light to shine, read together, travel, make your home a soft place to fall

this is really good.

also respect their privacy, when they grow up, if they want to keep a diary or be alone with their own thoughts, don't intrude on their personal belongings.
Be there when they need support, you just know instinctively, and if you see them feeling down, give them comfort, even by actions, hugs and some hot soup, togetherness.

@munchykin Lol. Got cha.

Letting them be nonexistent.

Locking them in the closet and making sure they have enough food and water.

Posted by femmefatale

Posted by Gooober

Posted by femmefatale
I was talking with a friend about children and privacy, she wants to create email addresses for her children so she can have access. She doesn't mind them having cell phones and social media just as long as she has all the passwords.

I think I'd be on the opposite end of the spectrum. I want to be firm with my kids, but would also like them to feel comfortable talking to me about anything... without me having to snoop and be overbearing. Maybe I'll change my mind when I become a parent because some of the kids these days are off the chain.

One thing I do know is that I believe in spanking. The whole spare the rod and spoil the child thing lol

I like what your friend has decide to do. It's fair to me. At least she's not being super strict by not allowing them to have social media accounts at all. The least parents can do is monitor their children. That would help prevent a lot of things from happening. There have been too many examples of how toxic and dangerous social media is for parents to not be monitoring their children. Besides, what do the kids have to worry about if they have nothing to hide?

As far as spanking, I am a strong believer that if you raise them right, that you won't need to spank them.

Hmm I can see how monitoring is a good thing, but when does it become an invasion of privacy? Or is there no such thing when it comes to your (anyone's) children?

Maybe I'll revisit the spanking issue in the future too. In my culture there is nothing wrong with it, when used correctly of course.

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Nope, there's no such thing until you're grown and from under my roof. lol.
Spanking isn't an issue in my culture either but I 've come to realize that it's wrong and honestly, ineffective.

Posted by rockyroadicecream
Locking them in the closet and making sure they have enough food and water.

Lol.

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by aquapiscescusp
treat them with respect, encourage the light to shine, read together, travel, make your home a soft place to fall

this is really good.

also respect their privacy, when they grow up, if they want to keep a diary or be alone with their own thoughts, don't intrude on their personal belongings.
Be there when they need support, you just know instinctively, and if you see them feeling down, give them comfort, even by actions, hugs and some hot soup, togetherness.

click to expand

So true

Posted by LittleStar
Teaching them how to be self sufficient. I don't want to be emotionally fulfilled by my child. She is her own being. Nothing sickens me more than crippling a child or being so wrapped up in the relationship and what needs you get met out of it being more important than the child's wellbeing.

Great book... Any questions about life are all answered with such wisdom

Posted by starlover

Posted by aquapiscescusp
treat them with respect, encourage the light to shine, read together, travel, make your home a soft place to fall

click to expand

Posted by aquapiscescusp

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by aquapiscescusp
treat them with respect, encourage the light to shine, read together, travel, make your home a soft place to fall

this is really good.

also respect their privacy, when they grow up, if they want to keep a diary or be alone with their own thoughts, don't intrude on their personal belongings.
Be there when they need support, you just know instinctively, and if you see them feeling down, give them comfort, even by actions, hugs and some hot soup, togetherness.

So true

click to expand

yup. i hate it when done to me and my husband hates that too. It's how we want to be treated, and respected so in turn we try to instill that. ALso, it helps with grandparents too, as they are very supportive and they also help give insight and great advice.

i also like starlover's post.

Posted by starlover

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by aquapiscescusp
treat them with respect, encourage the light to shine, read together, travel, make your home a soft place to fall

this is really good.

also respect their privacy, when they grow up, if they want to keep a diary or be alone with their own thoughts, don't intrude on their personal belongings.
Be there when they need support, you just know instinctively, and if you see them feeling down, give them comfort, even by actions, hugs and some hot soup, togetherness.

click to expand

Love this Lisa

So, how many people posting on this thread actually have kids?

I get the feeling that the ideology of these statements are good with intentions, but far from realistic.

Good parenting is raising your kids to be contributing members to society, keeping them safe, teaching them right from wrong and how to be a balanced mature adult.

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by aquapiscescusp
treat them with respect, encourage the light to shine, read together, travel, make your home a soft place to fall

this is really good.

also respect their privacy, when they grow up, if they want to keep a diary or be alone with their own thoughts, don't intrude on their personal belongings.
Be there when they need support, you just know instinctively, and if you see them feeling down, give them comfort, even by actions, hugs and some hot soup, togetherness.

click to expand

And once you suspect your kid is on life threatening drugs, all that "respect for privacy" goes out the window. You'll be all up in their business like there's no tomorrow.

Posted by truecap

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by aquapiscescusp
treat them with respect, encourage the light to shine, read together, travel, make your home a soft place to fall

this is really good.

also respect their privacy, when they grow up, if they want to keep a diary or be alone with their own thoughts, don't intrude on their personal belongings.
Be there when they need support, you just know instinctively, and if you see them feeling down, give them comfort, even by actions, hugs and some hot soup, togetherness.

And once you suspect your kid is on life threatening drugs, all that "respect for privacy" goes out the window. You'll be all up in their business like there's no tomorrow.

click to expand

that just sounds like fear, truecap.

you can't control your children that way.

controlling too much is also very very detrimental.

they will hide from you if you control them too much. And run away from you kind of thing.

Posted by starlover

Posted by truecap

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by aquapiscescusp
treat them with respect, encourage the light to shine, read together, travel, make your home a soft place to fall

this is really good.

also respect their privacy, when they grow up, if they want to keep a diary or be alone with their own thoughts, don't intrude on their personal belongings.
Be there when they need support, you just know instinctively, and if you see them feeling down, give them comfort, even by actions, hugs and some hot soup, togetherness.

And once you suspect your kid is on life threatening drugs, all that "respect for privacy" goes out the window. You'll be all up in their business like there's no tomorrow.

😢

You okay cappy?

x

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Oh yeah, just saying.

a child that loves to be around you, or someone that LOVES your company, suggests alot.

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by truecap

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by aquapiscescusp
treat them with respect, encourage the light to shine, read together, travel, make your home a soft place to fall

this is really good.

also respect their privacy, when they grow up, if they want to keep a diary or be alone with their own thoughts, don't intrude on their personal belongings.
Be there when they need support, you just know instinctively, and if you see them feeling down, give them comfort, even by actions, hugs and some hot soup, togetherness.

And once you suspect your kid is on life threatening drugs, all that "respect for privacy" goes out the window. You'll be all up in their business like there's no tomorrow.

that just sounds like fear, truecap.

you can't control your children that way.

controlling too much is also very very detrimental.

they will hide from you if you control them too much. And run away from you kind of thing.

click to expand

I'm not talking about control. I just think you're thinking pretty innocently. Sure, I agree with respecting kids privacy, however, they are kids and they will hide things from you regardless.

Once the trust factor is broken, they have no more privacy and are no longer entitled to it

Part of the job of being a parent is protecting them. You have to know what they're doing so you can protect them. It's not about controlling them. But if your 12 yo daughter is talking to a grown man on the internet, you need to know. And if your 15 yo son is doing drugs, you need to know. So you can protect them!! Kids, especially teens, think they are invincible and that bad things happen to other people. They believe it won't happen to them.

It's just that once you discover your kids are doing something that could cause them danger, you will be more into their business. And you should be.

Like I said, though, those of you without kids are only basing your opinions on how your parents parented you. You're not considering the position of actually being the parent.

I promise you, once you have kids, your attitude and belief system will change.

i dont knnow....i've seen individuals who do experimental drugs in their teens and early twenties, and then quit cold Turkey. Not all but some. And they turn out to be very well developed, hard working respectful people in society.

alcohol is legal and there's tons of people who turn out alcoholic and do bad in society (the extremes who do drunk drive and are cray)

and then you have teenagers who smoke some pot and then stop, and are okay with life and never do it again.

I'm like, what are you suppose to do? monitor them everywhere?

also, the 12 yr old daughter talking to an old man, i would wonder where parents went wrong. -_-

i mean, gross. Even i wouldnt do that, would you? I think most of us wouldn't. And there's plenty of people on this site who have dysfunctional families and wouldn't do that.

also if you give them computer access at a young age, make sure you have children protected sites for them.

we do have to have control over them at a young age; what i'm talking about is when they reach teenager stage, where the hormones are cray and they want to experiment. Not all kids are like that. but i've heard alot do.

some teens don't bother.

To me it's doing the best you possibly can for them. Sure no matter what you do society might change or even corrupt them, but if you do your best and don't slack or let them down as a parent it will make all the difference. You have to do your best to keep corruption and hate out of your home, and teach them no matter what life has done to you or even your ancestors to love all people and respect them no matter what. Teach them how to pass good morals and love to their own children someday. This is how we change the world and save humanity, and it all starts which the children.

basically it's the influence of their friends too.

for example, if they enter a gang?? what is the crux of that? the scenes i've seen are because the parents have dysfunctional marriage (the three accounts i have known in the past, which i've heard. They join gangs to BELONG)

You can't base your parenting stance on what you say about what other kids do, have done, or didn't do. They're not YOUR kids. When you have teenagers, you will see things from a different light.

baloney.

you NEED to see too what others have gone wrong.

thats fear YES, but that's protective fear. You dont want DYSFUNCTIONAL marriage either, or dysfunctionally in relationshiips because alot of the times the children will stray. Not all but alot.

also when you see your parents and OTHER couples are gross together (they fight all the time and is toxic together) you pray to god you NEVER want that ever. You make vow to never enter into that. Strong will power will help a person too.

also your children will take drugs and anti depressants because family life is dysfunctional and painful.

You can't raise your kids based on other families' experiences.

You raise your kids the best you can with what you've got. You have to wing it most of the time. Sometimes it's with unconditional love; sometimes it's with tough love. You have to constantly keep changing your approach and your ideology.

The goal: productive, independent adults with good values, good work ethic and compassion for others as well as a foundation for a well balanced life.

Posted by truecap
You can't raise your kids based on other families' experiences.

You raise your kids the best you can with what you've got. You have to wing it most of the time. Sometimes it's with unconditional love; sometimes it's with tough love. You have to constantly keep changing your approach and your ideology.

The goal: productive, independent adults with good values, good work ethic and compassion for others as well as a foundation for a well balanced life.

oh i agree with alot of what you say in this post.

Posted by truecap
So, how many people posting on this thread actually have kids?

I get the feeling that the ideology of these statements are good with intentions, but far from realistic.

Good parenting is raising your kids to be contributing members to society, keeping them safe, teaching them right from wrong and how to be a balanced mature adult.

I'm aware of how hard it is.

...it's why I don't have any.

...and why I joke about locking them in the closet with food and water haha. I was exposed to little ones at a young age and saw how much work goes into taking care of them. Doing that 24/7? No thanks. I'll gladly hand them back at the end of the day.

I thought your joke was funny. 😄

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by truecap
So, how many people posting on this thread actually have kids?

I get the feeling that the ideology of these statements are good with intentions, but far from realistic.

Good parenting is raising your kids to be contributing members to society, keeping them safe, teaching them right from wrong and how to be a balanced mature adult.

I'm aware of how hard it is.

...it's why I don't have any.

...and why I joke about locking them in the closet with food and water haha. I was exposed to little ones at a young age and saw how much work goes into taking care of them. Doing that 24/7? No thanks. I'll gladly hand them back at the end of the day.

click to expand

It's fun when they're little, and it's nice when they're grown. The teenage years are the hardest part.

Posted by truecap

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by aquapiscescusp
treat them with respect, encourage the light to shine, read together, travel, make your home a soft place to fall

this is really good.

also respect their privacy, when they grow up, if they want to keep a diary or be alone with their own thoughts, don't intrude on their personal belongings.
Be there when they need support, you just know instinctively, and if you see them feeling down, give them comfort, even by actions, hugs and some hot soup, togetherness.

And once you suspect your kid is on life threatening drugs, all that "respect for privacy" goes out the window. You'll be all up in their business like there's no tomorrow.

click to expand

Before a kid gets on life threatening drugs... There are many signs. Parents often time look the other way into they can't any longer.. When you dig deep, there's usually been some form of disrespect for the child.

*until

Ugh, towards the child

And let's be clear, just because a parent is a parent, it doesn't mean they know everything.

Posted by truecap
I thought your joke was funny. 😄

I'm morbid when it comes to that stuff haha.

Another one I like to use is "hang them up by their toes and beat them like a pinata." haha.

Posted by truecap

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by truecap
So, how many people posting on this thread actually have kids?

I get the feeling that the ideology of these statements are good with intentions, but far from realistic.

Good parenting is raising your kids to be contributing members to society, keeping them safe, teaching them right from wrong and how to be a balanced mature adult.

I'm aware of how hard it is.

...it's why I don't have any.

...and why I joke about locking them in the closet with food and water haha. I was exposed to little ones at a young age and saw how much work goes into taking care of them. Doing that 24/7? No thanks. I'll gladly hand them back at the end of the day.

It's fun when they're little, and it's nice when they're grown. The teenage years are the hardest part.

click to expand

BOARDING SCHOOL AFTER 12! 🙂

Posted by aquapiscescusp

Posted by truecap

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by aquapiscescusp
treat them with respect, encourage the light to shine, read together, travel, make your home a soft place to fall

this is really good.

also respect their privacy, when they grow up, if they want to keep a diary or be alone with their own thoughts, don't intrude on their personal belongings.
Be there when they need support, you just know instinctively, and if you see them feeling down, give them comfort, even by actions, hugs and some hot soup, togetherness.

And once you suspect your kid is on life threatening drugs, all that "respect for privacy" goes out the window. You'll be all up in their business like there's no tomorrow.

Before a kid gets on life threatening drugs... There are many signs. Parents often time look the other way into they can't any longer.. When you dig deep, there's usually been some form of disrespect for the child.

click to expand

Not necessarily.