The Lady Scorpio
@TheLadyScorpio
12 Years10,000+ Posts
Comments: 1412 · Posts: 11166 · Topics: 154
What would you do if someone hung up the phone on you?
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either their battery going down or you're really very annoying
Posted by hydorahSo quick to assume, hydorah.
either their battery going down or you're really very annoying
What if that person has a habit of hanging up the phone anytime they do not get their way and as a tool to silence someone.
- Is the person that hung up the phone annoying by being immature with no communication skills or is the person doing the talking annoying by trying to carry a conversation like an adult?
- Is there no better way, an adult and mature way to end a conversation?
Posted by AlphaAlpha, that sounds rational.
I will stay cool and give the other person as much time as him/her need to think it through.
- What if this tactic fails and every time you bring up any conversation the other deems inappropriate or conflicting, the 'hung up' tactic is used again?
- What would you do to try to resolve it?
Posted by VanillaExtVanillaExt, would you be oblivious if it was in the middle of an important conversation and you know for a fact that you did not hung up the phone?
Honestly, I would not notice at first until I hear nothing. After? I would think "shit" because I thought I might have hung up. I would try to call back. But if nothing I would be like "ok if it was important shehe would call back."
...yeah, im oblivious.
Posted by NemiliciousWhy hello Nem! 🙂Posted by TheLadyScorpioId laugh at the childish behaviour. Actually they are silencing themselves by hanging up. You are not dealing with a mature person. In the long run i would reconsider my friendship/relation to this person and if agita overweighs cut em loose. You can choose how people treat you.Posted by hydorahSo quick to assume, hydorah.
either their battery going down or you're really very annoying
What if that person has a habit of hanging up the phone anytime they do not get their way and as a tool to silence someone.
- Is the person that hung up the phone annoying by being immature with no communication skills or is the person doing the talking annoying by trying to carry a conversation like an adult?
- Is there no better way, an adult and mature way to end a conversation?click to expand
I agree but it would be equally as immature to cut someone off without giving them a chance to change, no? At least without finding a way to see if the situation could be remedied from all perspectives. That is the only reasons I ask but there is a lot of truth in your statement.
Posted by starloverAh starlover but you have raised your son well and proven to be an incredible mother with what you had shared.
.......not even my son has done that to me, when we have had a difference of opinion and he is a teen
I would wonder why i had attracted such a person into my life
To be honest, Lady, I would find that kind of behaviour in an adult(?) intolerable
That is a great question and I do ask that of myself - Whether or not I am the one who attracts such rude individuals and allow them to react this way?
It is inappropriate but I am trying to see if there still ways I have not yet tried, in order to fix such behaviour.
Posted by NemiliciousThere is hesitation because although I despise drama, I am stubborn as a Stinger would be and until I am certain there is no other way to resolve this dynamic, I will not cut it in the bud. Although, I know that is an available option should it come to that.Posted by TheLadyScorpioHello ladyscorp, long time no see indeed!Posted by NemiliciousWhy hello Nem! 🙂Posted by TheLadyScorpioId laugh at the childish behaviour. Actually they are silencing themselves by hanging up. You are not dealing with a mature person. In the long run i would reconsider my friendship/relation to this person and if agita overweighs cut em loose. You can choose how people treat you.Posted by hydorahSo quick to assume, hydorah.
either their battery going down or you're really very annoying
What if that person has a habit of hanging up the phone anytime they do not get their way and as a tool to silence someone.
- Is the person that hung up the phone annoying by being immature with no communication skills or is the person doing the talking annoying by trying to carry a conversation like an adult?
- Is there no better way, an adult and mature way to end a conversation?
I agree but it would be equally as immature to cut someone off without giving them a chance to change or at least finding a way to see if the situation could be remedied from all perspectives. That is the only reasons I ask but there is a lot of truth in your statement.
i sense hesitation in your reaction. You can choose to engage in this persons dynamic or not. Some find it entertaining to create drama. When in reality its a storm in a teacup. To each their own. But i find it rewarding and liberating to nip shit like that in the bud.click to expand
Drama is exhausting, tiring, completely depletes the soul of anything and everything. Definitely, not my cup of tea Nem.
Posted by AlphaThis dynamic is the same in person or on the phone.Posted by TheLadyScorpioIf there's no way I can meet in person coz of the distance, I will put it up during the conversation when the person is in a good mood. That being said, I'll try to swing the conversation in such a way that the person will be able to discuss it. If hung up tactic is used again, I'll give it a few more tries after a reasonable amount of time (in terms of weeks). If all attempts fail, I'll not bring it up and will give the person time to think about it and the reason why I made the attempts to resolve it. In no way, I'll rush to solve it.Posted by AlphaAlpha, that sounds rational.
I will stay cool and give the other person as much time as him/her need to think it through.
- What if this tactic fails and every time you bring up any conversation the other deems inappropriate or conflicting, the 'hung up' tactic is used again?
- What would you do to try to resolve it?
click to expand
If the individual never gives you the time to carry on the conversation despite you making a request up front and placing the ball in their court so they could decide when they feel most comfortable discussing it.
Yet still they always come up with excuses, for it never being the right time, not the right mood etc. - Would you find it dubious that they are defensive and purposely skirting a conversation?
You said you are in no rush, what if the conversation has been issues that has been ongoing for months or years, a conversation that is put off again and again. Despite the amount of space given, nothing has been resolved.
- Where will your limit be? When will you put your foot down?
Posted by NemiliciousI do question it, the opinions given here allows me more feedback ground to mull throPosted by TheLadyScorpioThen maybe question your role and participation in this scenario. I know how testing scorps can be. I know they like dissecting but also dragging things out. I hope you resolve your issue.Posted by NemiliciousThere is hesitation because although I despise drama, I am stubborn as a Stinger would be and until I am certain there is no other way to resolve this dynamic, I will not cut it in the bud. Although, I know that is an available option should it come to that.Posted by TheLadyScorpioHello ladyscorp, long time no see indeed!Posted by NemiliciousWhy hello Nem! 🙂Posted by TheLadyScorpioId laugh at the childish behaviour. Actually they are silencing themselves by hanging up. You are not dealing with a mature person. In the long run i would reconsider my friendship/relation to this person and if agita overweighs cut em loose. You can choose how people treat you.Posted by hydorahSo quick to assume, hydorah.
either their battery going down or you're really very annoying
What if that person has a habit of hanging up the phone anytime they do not get their way and as a tool to silence someone.
- Is the person that hung up the phone annoying by being immature with no communication skills or is the person doing the talking annoying by trying to carry a conversation like an adult?
- Is there no better way, an adult and mature way to end a conversation?
I agree but it would be equally as immature to cut someone off without giving them a chance to change or at least finding a way to see if the situation could be remedied from all perspectives. That is the only reasons I ask but there is a lot of truth in your statement.
i sense hesitation in your reaction. You can choose to engage in this persons dynamic or not. Some find it entertaining to create drama. When in reality its a storm in a teacup. To each their own. But i find it rewarding and liberating to nip shit like that in the bud.
Drama is exhausting, tiring, completely depletes the soul of anything and everything. Definitely, not my cup of tea Nem.click to expand
. . . through. Therefore I could gauge whether or not I am the one enabling this poor behaviour, whether or not the individual could be corrected etc. We are dissecting and may drag things out but we are not irrational, we can and will pick our fights.
The issue within the conversation actually began as a very small issue but because it has been dragged out by the opposing party for months on end, when it could be resolved by them talking, it only grew bigger and bigger. They have the key to resolving the issue, putting away a problem does not solve a problem. I need to solve problems, I cannot sit there and leave a problem be, out of sight, out of mind.
Thank you @Nemilicious for coming by, it has been so long since!
The issue within the conversation actually began as a very small issue but because it has been dragged out by the opposing party for months on end, when it could be resolved by them talking, it only grew bigger and bigger. They have the key to resolving the issue, putting away a problem does not solve a problem. I need to solve problems, I cannot sit there and leave a problem be, out of sight, out of mind.
Thank you @Nemilicious for coming by, it has been so long since!
@Alpha
Assuming I have the time to indulge in the person's whims to spend such an inordinate amount of time figuring out why they do not wish to share.
- How would you go about finding out why?
Are they not disrespecting you by forcing you to go through all this effort, to get them to communicate in the first place?
They are not communicating, through their actions and choices.
Are you being respected, when you have to bend over backwards to get someone to stop such behaviour and to carry a conversation?
As much as I respect your beliefs and indeed thank you for writing, I only see a lot of trigger words being thrown around but no concrete solution that requires an action.
Assuming I have the time to indulge in the person's whims to spend such an inordinate amount of time figuring out why they do not wish to share.
- How would you go about finding out why?
Are they not disrespecting you by forcing you to go through all this effort, to get them to communicate in the first place?
They are not communicating, through their actions and choices.
Are you being respected, when you have to bend over backwards to get someone to stop such behaviour and to carry a conversation?
As much as I respect your beliefs and indeed thank you for writing, I only see a lot of trigger words being thrown around but no concrete solution that requires an action.
I have Mars and Mercury in taurus so to me if that ever happens. I wouldn't get upset. Just distance myself and feel totally disrespected. Nothing I can do once it's fixed or done.
Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428I need Bullette placements. That I wish I had.
I have Mars and Mercury in taurus so to me if that ever happens. I wouldn't get upset. Just distance myself and feel totally disrespected. Nothing I can do once it's fixed or done.
Thank you for coming by FDTW.
Posted by jukeyOh hello juke, and why yes I have been guilty of falling asleep in the middle of a phone call as well.
If it's someone who matters, it would probably hit harder and be a mix of emotional and rational appeal to reach out to them (or they to me). A friend of a friend or some acquaintance would phase me less. A co-worker or colleague usually gets a more rational side because I have to see them everyday and probably aren't used to seeing my soft side.
I haven't hung up the phone on anyone, but I admit I have fallen asleep which sends a message as well
Posted by FloYou do not get to say what is bothering you, you get hung up on the phone and silence in person, diversion unto a different topic of conversation or ignored.Posted by TheLadyScorpioI see what happened here..Posted by hydorahSo quick to assume, hydorah.
either their battery going down or you're really very annoying
What if that person has a habit of hanging up the phone anytime they do not get their way and as a tool to silence someone.
- Is the person that hung up the phone annoying by being immature with no communication skills or is the person doing the talking annoying by trying to carry a conversation like an adult?
- Is there no better way, an adult and mature way to end a conversation?
Really, that's when I start limiting phone calls, think about what's going on, and eventually confront them about situation. I don't like Making scenes but I will say what's bothering me.click to expand
- Flo, would that frustrate you?
@Nemicilious
On second thought, you may be correct I may have a hand in this mess. By allowing it to progress into what it has become.
Both enabling yet a once, merely only wishing to resolve an issue as soon as possible.
On second thought, you may be correct I may have a hand in this mess. By allowing it to progress into what it has become.
Both enabling yet a once, merely only wishing to resolve an issue as soon as possible.
Posted by tizianiIs that always the case?
If it happens repeatedly it must be that they've had enough. Unless they are the one making the calls. Idk what I would do, depends how long we've known each other.
You would then have to assume the one being hung up on is always in the wrong?
What would make you assume that, and more importantly why would you assume that?
Could it be because this tactic is a great way of controlling what the other person could say and could not say?
Is there no other way to end a conversation, and let us entertain the fact that you are presumedly correct, is this not rude and inappropriate?
- What would you do tiz, if you knew this individual for years?
Posted by TheLadyScorpioice them out. .. Not only is this person immature they are also disrespectful. . 2016 is the year of setting standards. I wouldn't want to be any SituationShip with someone who can't respect me. Chop them off. Weed them out. ... And breathePosted by AlphaAlpha, that sounds rational.
I will stay cool and give the other person as much time as him/her need to think it through.
- What if this tactic fails and every time you bring up any conversation the other deems inappropriate or conflicting, the 'hung up' tactic is used again?
- What would you do to try to resolve it?
click to expand
Posted by ElTigre25I wish it was an argument ElTigre25, but it was not. In which case I may understand but still find it unacceptably rude.Posted by TheLadyScorpioIt happened to me a few times. It was an argument though and I was getting on the person's nerves. I laughed when the person hung up.
- Would would you do if someone hung up on you? Especially, if they cut you short in the middle of your sentence?
- How would you feel and how would you handle this situation?click to expand
The conversation was coming up to a question that got cut short by an angry and temperamental response accompanied with threats from the opposing party.
I could not even get a word in before I realised after the word vomit from them, I got hung up on.
Posted by ElTigre25I get the same reaction when face to face but I could better deal with that situation and better equipped. Although, it still leaves me with the same results.Posted by TheLadyScorpioSometimes you have to ask yourself; Am I being unreasonable? Are you pressing an issue past due? Adults get upset so I'm not sure why you'd think they aren't allowed to have feelings. Also, some people are better with face-to-face conversation rather than texting or talking on the phone.Posted by hydorahSo quick to assume, hydorah.
either their battery going down or you're really very annoying
What if that person has a habit of hanging up the phone anytime they do not get their way and as a tool to silence someone.
- Is the person that hung up the phone annoying by being immature with no communication skills or is the person doing the talking annoying by trying to carry a conversation like an adult?
- Is there no better way, an adult and mature way to end a conversation?click to expand
There is yet to be but a form of communication where this opposing party will readily and willingly come together and resolve problems.
However, when an opposing party does this on the phone when I cannot immediately resolve it in person, that is when my inner anger flares up.
I did ask myself whether or not I was being unreasonable, but I did not even get to finish my sentence before I was cut off. You have to be able to hear what someone is saying before you could dismiss them, how could you reject something you have not heard. Granted, if it is long winding and long past its due date then by all means you should stop the individual. Yet still, this does not condone the act of hanging up the phone.
The individual did not even listen to the new changes or my thoughts, they had already presumed this set notion of what they think I will say or where the conversation is going. They resolutely closed their minds off and believe it is their say or no say at all.
This happens in any conversation dealing with a problem, I cannot go through every problem as a capable individual and shove it under the carpet. This really upsets me, I cannot live in ignorant bliss when I know there are problems all around.
Posted by VanillaExtYeah.. It has happened many times, I immediately think there was signal problem, or maybe I accidentally hung up... I call back immediately. I put a text message if I cannot reach them...
Honestly, I would not notice at first until I hear nothing. After? I would think "shit" because I thought I might have hung up. I would try to call back. But if nothing I would be like "ok if it was important shehe would call back."
...yeah, im oblivious.
What's there to feel bad?
Posted by Nemilicious😆
@ladyscorp ....im seeing a lot of the scorp vices pop up, dont let those vices get the best of you.
You can also over analyze a situation ad nauseum. So far we know nothing of the conent of this conversation. Privacy is an issue, i get that. But any advice based on what you have let on so far cant be helpful much.
Nem, I am guilty as charged. Would revealing the content aid in solving this mystery?
The conversation was about a visit to the doctors in which they alluded to me through some of the warnings/advice they were given by the doctors. Granted, this individual is someone very close to me, naturally I would be worried and inquire. Normally, I would expect them to give up such information readily and it baffles me why they expect to know everything about me, wanting me to share everything whenever it is asked of me yet they cannot tell me why they had to make such a secretive visit to the doctors. Obviously, by what they alluded to I assumed it cannot be good news, as they had been ill for weeks now, a cold/flu that never seems to go away and rises up often again.
This bothers me because what could be so wrong that they had to hide the information from me, are they ill with something that could affect my own health? If so, do I not deserve the right to ask them so? Even if they were to keep a secret, I was inquiring them as to whether or not my own health is in jeopardy. I did not even get to finish my question before I was cut short.
If they feel they have the right to have me as an open book and they want me to trust them then I expect reciprocation. Obviously, by their choice of actions they do not trust me. It works both ways, they cannot have the cake and eat it too.
@Nemilicious
They are secretive about all matters, sometimes something as mundane as having said hello to an old friend to other serious matters. They expect me to share everything in my life, I expect the same in return. That is not asking for much, I should think that to be a healthy demand.
They are secretive about all matters, sometimes something as mundane as having said hello to an old friend to other serious matters. They expect me to share everything in my life, I expect the same in return. That is not asking for much, I should think that to be a healthy demand.
Ooh.. hanging up in heated argument...never happened so..
If it did, I'd just stay calm, or call back..or text..or wait lol.. but no point feeling hurt, it's just another silly "issue" in dealing with our fellow humans..
If it did, I'd just stay calm, or call back..or text..or wait lol.. but no point feeling hurt, it's just another silly "issue" in dealing with our fellow humans..
Posted by tizianiThis individual absolutely despises anything in writing, which is ironic because they hate it just as much when done in person or on the phone. It often makes me wonder if they simply have stunted communication skills.Posted by TheLadyScorpioI wouldn't assume I'm wrong if I'm being hung up on repeatedly, but I would assume the other person has had enough of listening to what I have to say on that topic for now.Posted by tizianiIs that always the case?
If it happens repeatedly it must be that they've had enough. Unless they are the one making the calls. Idk what I would do, depends how long we've known each other.
You would then have to assume the one being hung up on is always in the wrong?
What would make you assume that, and more importantly why would you assume that?
Could it be because this tactic is a great way of controlling what the other person could say and could not say?
Is there no other way to end a conversation, and let us entertain the fact that you are presumedly correct, is this not rude and inappropriate?
- What would you do tiz, if you knew this individual for years?
Knowing them for years, I'd be upset at the distance. If I had to bring the topic up again I'd most likely do it in writing, one time only. If someone's close to me I personally don't care about us being wrong or right (unless it's being wrong about factual information, which drives me nuts). I care more about not losing respect completely for one another. That's my angle.
click to expand
After having written down the issue once, would you let it go?
Right or wrong, being cut short by angry word vomit in almost any circumstance is wrong if not disrespectful behaviour as well. Let the opposed party, be it wrong or right, to but finish their sentence. This is the fundamental basis of manners.
They have to but listened to what is being said before they could reject it. Only then could they request to have this issue be brought up again at another time. They have to know the matter at hand, entirely so before they could disagree. How could anyone disagree with something they do not know?
They even have to right to state that they do not feel comfortable talking about it because of so and so. That I could live with, being hung up on. No.
Posted by AlphaIf it has the possibility to endanger me and my health then I have such right to extract such information from them. If they extract information from me on a daily basis expects it without waiting patiently then no, I will not wait.
@TheLadyScorpio, I don't think you can extract such info if the other person isn't willing to share it. You'll have to wait patiently.
People do not get to dish out what they cannot take. That would be hypocrisy at its best. No amount of understanding would allow me to lose my backbone entirely so.
Posted by tizianitiz, I gave them as many options as they needed, as to how they wish to resolve the issues; face to face, phone or writing etc.
Or face to face, another medium, writing, whichever.... it's clear on this topic the phone just isn't the way to go for us.
Every medium in which I had chosen so far, it reaps the same results.
This is why I am at my wits end, I have tried to be as rational as I could by trying any method that would provide a comfortable environment for them to bring the issue to light but no.
Nothing.
Posted by starloverTrust works both ways, if they demand it of you then of course I would demand the same in return.Posted by TheLadyScorpioMy last partner was like that....i was as open as a book and he was cloak and dagger, it was like getting blood out of a stone getting him to open up
@Nemilicious
They are secretive about all matters, sometimes something as mundane as having said hello to an old friend to other serious matters. They expect me to share everything in my life, I expect the same in return. That is not asking for much, I should think that to be a healthy demand.
One of the reasons i walked away was because there was an imbalance in the dynamic of the relationship
So exhausting!
click to expand
I find that to be a very reasonable demand, else it would simply be a power play and nobody has time for that.
A power play where they are behind their walls of secret, in absolute safety when they demand their opponent out in the open to be slaughtered.
It is exhausting but it is the lack of reciprocation that is unfair. How could you ask so much of someone but cannot do the same yourself.
That is selfish, I hold myself and all those around me to the standard that they should almost always try to only ask of others what they could do themselves.
Posted by tizianiI miss the smell and sound of them.Posted by NemiliciousYou jest but I actually miss fax machines! There was a certain romance to them.
By fax ...endless scrollsclick to expand
Posted by tizianiPerhaps I am frustrated at both, because the phone manners is a reaction to the conversation being had, a way to shut me down and out?Posted by TheLadyScorpioFair enough. Yes, I would definitely have to let it lie after trying one time in writing. Because I know myself. Once I lose that respect from one or two people pushing without leaving it be, then I can get "wrong" for the both of us. Really wrong. So it's not worth losing respect overall.Posted by tizianitiz, I gave them as many options as they needed, as to how they wish to resolve the issues; face to face, phone or writing etc.
Or face to face, another medium, writing, whichever.... it's clear on this topic the phone just isn't the way to go for us.
Every medium in which I had chosen so far, it reaps the same results.
This is why I am at my wits end, I have tried to be as rational as I could by trying any method that would provide a comfortable environment for them to bring the issue to light but no.
Nothing.
On this one, it's unclear if you feel more frustrated about the phone manners or the lack of transparency. Overall, it looks like what you both have here is a power struggle. It's either your way, their way, compromise, or nothing.click to expand
By shutting everything down at every opportunity it leads to frustrations over the lack of transparency?
You hit the nail on the head tiz.
@Alpha
Keep in mind this is someone who has a habit of keeping secrets about matters that could potentially cause me harm.
Keep in mind this is someone who has a habit of keeping secrets about matters that could potentially cause me harm.
Posted by PotHeadVirgo25I cannot saw his prick off, it would drown me before I could but drink said blood.
I'd saw off her nipples and drink blood from her breast.
Virgent, another tactic needed.
Posted by AlphaHow would I be able to go through a medical check up if I do not know what it is that I am checking for or there in about?Posted by TheLadyScorpioDid you undergo a thorough medical checkup to remove any such possibility?Posted by AlphaIf it has the possibility to endanger me and my health then I have such right to extract such information from them. If they extract information from me on a daily basis expects it without waiting patiently then no, I will not wait.
@TheLadyScorpio, I don't think you can extract such info if the other person isn't willing to share it. You'll have to wait patiently.
People do not get to dish out what they cannot take. That would be hypocrisy at its best. No amount of understanding would allow me to lose my backbone entirely so.
click to expand
Frankly, I do not have the endless supply of money to go chasing up the possibility through a plethora of medical testings simply because they do not wish to divulge the information.
Even so, I do not know if this is even why the visit was kept a secret. It could end up only being a health matter that affects them. I can only assume the possibility of everything right now, just in case I may need to jump to action to protect myself or to expect to provide help for them.
As said, I know nothing I can only assume. If I had more information to work on, I could laid out the plans accordingly.
I could do many things, but sitting around doing nothing is not one of them.
Posted by PotHeadVirgo25It would not work due to hygiene issues and blood is not the safest thing to drink.
If that doesn't work then come back and we'll work out another way.
What other propositions do you have?
@tiziani
Deadlock is a wonderful way of putting it.
I would need time to consider what you had just brought to the table of discussion here.
/ponders
Deadlock is a wonderful way of putting it.
I would need time to consider what you had just brought to the table of discussion here.
/ponders
Who am I talking to? If it was just a regular conversation, I probably wouldn't care.
Posted by PotHeadVirgo25I see where you lulled this conversation into. 😉Posted by TheLadyScorpioWhat kind of torture do you like?Posted by PotHeadVirgo25It would not work due to hygiene issues and blood is not the safest thing to drink.
If that doesn't work then come back and we'll work out another way.
What other propositions do you have?
click to expand
Torturing the individual would not get me the resolution required, it would only boost an ego to no good result for either party.
Posted by PotHeadVirgo25😆Posted by TheLadyScorpio😆Posted by PotHeadVirgo25I see where you lulled this conversation into. 😉Posted by TheLadyScorpioWhat kind of torture do you like?Posted by PotHeadVirgo25It would not work due to hygiene issues and blood is not the safest thing to drink.
If that doesn't work then come back and we'll work out another way.
What other propositions do you have?
Torturing the individual would not get me the resolution required, it would only boost an ego to no good result for either party.
No harm, no foul 😄
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Always have to keep a pace ahead of you Virgents and Virgals.
You lot would lay out innocent traps and I would fall in them if I did not look. 😄
Posted by AlphaExcuse my somewhat curt responses, I see your point of view and it was one I had tried for a very long time. However, there is only so much patience could do before it turns into stagnation. That change could become potentially dangerous. I am merely desperate for a solution that would move forward, this deadlock is proving exhausting.
@TheLadyScorpio I understand the inner battle you're going through. I can share my experience. The only way I was able to penetrate the thick core of secrecy was with patience. I stayed and it helped build transparency. I did so coz the person is worth my efforts even though it took a really long time.
I hope you find the solution that's suitable for you.
- Have you ever given up on such tasks before, where your patience wore out and if so, what was the last straw which broke the camel's back?
Nonetheless, thank you for sharing as much as you have thus far.
Posted by FloI would hate to state it as if your advice did not help but the few times in which I wrote anything in hopes of reaching them, they simply threw it away.
@theladyscorpio,
If their reaction really is childish than maybe ignoring them and giving yourself time is best. I've done this when it seems like an ongoing cycle. I hate wasting breath on one who is not listening to my needs.
Maybe try writing a letter to explain the situation from your POV. There's not a voice tone to set anyone off and you can directly say what you need too.
To answer your question, yes, I would be annoyed and irritated maybe feeling lost because they make it impossible to hold a mature conversation with. Hanging up constantly is rude and unnecessary. I would not see that person the same anymore and will keep my distance afterwards.
How did I know? I asked, they did not even bother to read it before they deemed it rubbish.
Distance helps, so I do not get pulled into their anger. Nonetheless, I thank you for sharing what you had so far.
Posted by tizianiUpon reflection, it only ever ended up going their way. I am racking my brain and memory to see if there was an instance where it turned out differently. There were never talks about my opinion or a compromise.Posted by TheLadyScorpioIn that case, what's worked for me in this kind of deadlock is often to say one of those 4 things outright. I've found recently that does bring a lot more transparency to the table for me and people I'm close to. Rather than getting involved in the small details of how we got here, just to say "this is where we are" and either I want us to do it my way, or I'm open to hanging tight while we do it your way, or compromise.Posted by tizianiPerhaps I am frustrated at both, because the phone manners is a reaction to the conversation being had, a way to shut me down and out?Posted by TheLadyScorpioFair enough. Yes, I would definitely have to let it lie after trying one time in writing. Because I know myself. Once I lose that respect from one or two people pushing without leaving it be, then I can get "wrong" for the both of us. Really wrong. So it's not worth losing respect overall.Posted by tizianitiz, I gave them as many options as they needed, as to how they wish to resolve the issues; face to face, phone or writing etc.
Or face to face, another medium, writing, whichever.... it's clear on this topic the phone just isn't the way to go for us.
Every medium in which I had chosen so far, it reaps the same results.
This is why I am at my wits end, I have tried to be as rational as I could by trying any method that would provide a comfortable environment for them to bring the issue to light but no.
Nothing.
On this one, it's unclear if you feel more frustrated about the phone manners or the lack of transparency. Overall, it looks like what you both have here is a power struggle. It's either your way, their way, compromise, or nothing.
By shutting everything down at every opportunity it leads to frustrations over the lack of transparency?
You hit the nail on the head tiz.click to expand
Their way was the only way, no ifs or buts. It was often continued silence, and I deal with knowing nothing.
It was without a doubt - "Accept knowing nothing and sharing everything or the highway."
Depends on the situation.
- Who's making the call
- What is being discussed
- Who's making the call
- What is being discussed
Posted by tizianiI think the deadlock finally came to be because I had been looking for a change of terms for quite some time but never enforced that stance as firmly as I did now.Posted by TheLadyScorpioAre you looking for a change in terms now?
Upon reflection, it only ever ended up going their way. I am racking my brain and memory to see if there was an instance where it turned out differently. There were never talks about my opinion or a compromise.
Their way was the only way, no ifs or buts. It was often continued silence, and I deal with knowing nothing.
It was without a doubt - "Accept knowing nothing and sharing everything or the highway."click to expand
A mistake. It happens when the people are too close, I was blinded.
To answer the question, yes. I am looking for a change in terms. I have the right to it.
As silly as that sounds, as I had a hand in my demise as I could understand now. I was looking in the wrong places to fix the issues at hand.
Posted by aquasnozHello there snozzy. 🙂
Depends on the situation.
- Who's making the call
- What is being discussed
The situation is laid out in mainly the fourth and fifth page, partially in the sixth.
I am the one making the call.
A medical issue, a secret doctor's appointment which was alluded to one that was not positive, a lack of transparency and a lack of trust whilst being demanded all those in return. Minimal amounts of reciprocation.
Posted by starwars😆
"bitch how dare you?"
Hah, dear Virgal. You would be stating that to thin air, you were just hung up on.
@Alpha
There is also no communication when there is only one party involved, there needs to be a two way street before any communication could be achieved.
I would only be talking to myself, to no conclusion.
There is also no communication when there is only one party involved, there needs to be a two way street before any communication could be achieved.
I would only be talking to myself, to no conclusion.
Posted by thinktoomuch--- and what would you do or say?
I´d call ´em back pretty much right away.
Posted by TheLadyScorpioThere's a few instances of this in my past only I'm the guy hanging up. I mean I can't say that what the doctor's appointment was for, it could be anything really but I feel like it's something he doesn't want to share. Yet. When I was hospitalized and later diagnosed with clinical depression I kept that to myself and my girlfriend at the time would do the same thing, unfortunately it was hard to disappear or explain away why I had a hospital tag on me when you're in your 3rd year of the relationship, I just couldn't process what was going on inside my head and every time she had to ask if I was okay would set me off in the worst of ways.Posted by aquasnozHello there snozzy. 🙂
Depends on the situation.
- Who's making the call
- What is being discussed
The situation is laid out in mainly the fourth and fifth page, partially in the sixth.
I am the one making the call.
A medical issue, a secret doctor's appointment which was alluded to one that was not positive, a lack of transparency and a lack of trust whilst being demanded all those in return. Minimal amounts of reciprocation.click to expand
I mean that's just one example, the alternative is that he or she is actually just being a bit of an arse or have double standards. Though I'm slowly learning to accept that not all relationships should be based on what I expect but meeting them in the middle and really reading between the lines (even in friendship).
Posted by tizianiWhat I have learned from your post tiz, I should really get into boxing.
In my experience:
Does Scorpio woman recognise what she wants? Y/N?
IF 'no', THEN > whole plethora of back and forth around power that I haven't quite mapped out yet (and not sure I ever will)
IF 'yes', THEN > Does Scorpio woman recognise a way in which she can get what she wants? Are both parties willing?
IF 'no', THEN > distance and cold and some other strange things I haven't mapped out (and likely never will)
IF 'yes' both parties are willing and can be convinced to see sense in giving her what she wants THEN >
Scorpio Woman engages in one mode: cutting off the ring.
http://www.expertboxing.com/boxing-strategy/boxing-offense/how-to-cut-off-the-ring
😛
Now, will you hurry on up and train Feby and I?
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