Where do I kidnap a wife to be? (Page 2)

Posted by GenericUsername

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by GenericUsername

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by LadyNeptune

I hope you have other reasons to wanting marriage beyond societal and family pressure. Cause that's a fast track to being incredibly unhappy and ending in divorce and loosing half your stuff. What I'm saying is get a prenup.

The pressure is real tho! 😿

I just thought the pressure is on women mostly.

“That unmarried woman over there” gotta be the biggest insult ever 😬

Is it tho? Unless you are feeding me, fucking me, or paying me I don't really care about your opinion of me.

People who project and pressure their life style on others tend to be really unhappy with their choices and looking for outside validation from those around them. Its like this cult mentality of your either with us or against us. Its wild to me.

I feel like we are conditioned to care too much about what other people around us think of us. Its a really effective tool for control.

On my 32th birthday all I got from strangers is - you look younger - and - awww don't worry, it's never too late -. The taxi driver who took me home said that he is a honest man so he told his lover that she can only be the mistress because he has a wife. He was so proud of himself, as if he was the most honest man on the planet, a true knight ( it's normal to cheat on wives here, but if a woman should cheat she's a demented whore ). Anyway when he heard my age he said: well don't worry you can always go for ( i don't know the English term ) but the literary translation from my language would be artificial insemination

Typical misogyny mindset, can't see women as anything more then baby incubators. Don't take it to heart, dude is driving a taxi for a living and lying to his wife... a role model he is not. His unsolicited opinion on what you should do with your own body is laughable at best.

That's why I described the situation, I never take those things personally because I don't see myself that way. It's just sad that people here ( don't know about your part of the globe ) consider you old at the age of 32. 32 or 62, they put it on the same level. It's because we are a primitive society. You finish school, go to Uni or start working, you get married, have children...and that's all to life.

click to expand

Men who call women old in their 30s while being older than that themselves crack me up. You know that they view women as objects only good to slake their desire or carry children and see older women as useless to those ends.

Thing is misogyny hurts men too. We don't talk about that enough.

Posted by Antiphates

Posted by DK

Posted by Antiphates

Posted by DK

Admittedly the title is tongue in cheek as I can't just jump into a boat and kidnap someone these days (I hear you, I miss those viking days of old too).

But anyway, the pressure is real and everywhere I go I'm questioned about my non existing wife. Even my family, blessed be their well meaning hearts, including my brother (may he being an ass be blessed but a little less) aren't getting tired to point out that I should get married being the black sheep of the family. There is some talk about continuing the lineage of my ancestors too which is nonsense though since my brother has kids already. I see what they are trying to do there...

Long story short, I'm considering this out of my own accord now too so the real problem to begin with is I don't find someone of my generation here who isn't married already. My options seem to be limited to becoming either a home wrecker or to court young women who could be my daughters almost which is quite embarrassing. So I used a local dating app (hi grandma, didn't know you like pink underwear), but even this turns out like trying to find drinkable water on Mars.

I was wondering if maybe Antiphates has a German sister. Or do we have German women here? If not I may have indeed to resort to the old Norse hunting grounds in England... I somehow doubt my boat makes it safely to America and I don't speak other tongues.

Is there anyone who has an encouraging story about dating a tourist or while being on holidays which did not end in a complete disaster? Or is it mail order bride these days? Those Russian women GemiMay showed me once in a music video seem to be rather cute 👀

Oh well. I'm kidding and probably drunk. I'll end it here before I give out application forms. Not so much about me of course but maybe someone would like living in my country. There are hidden treasures here...

Sorry to dissapoint but the adult half-sister is in a relationship as far as I know and the other needs another ten years to be legal.

The ukrainian refugee situation might present some possibilities.

I'd never use the misfortune of others in any way to my advantage but I know that's not what you meant. Hamburg is a nice city. I don't get all of your language but I like quite some of the German music like Rammstein. We use to think of you guys as very disciplined and hard working people.

I wouldn't call it misfortune but redirected fortune.

Visiting german concerts of the scene could also be a good opportunity. Age range is usually pretty wide and most speak at least english. WGT in Leipzig could work for example.

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Thanks for your suggestion. I already watched some WGT videos on YouTube. Been to Rostock, and Berlin, but not as far to the south as Leipzig. Will look it up.

Well, my offer still stands.

Fair warning - I am a Virgo. So you might be better off staying single.

Posted by Stony

Posted by SassyKiwi

Tell your fam if they don’t stop pressuring you, you will run away to Japan and never come back cos you gonna go join a yakuza

It's dying out over there, sadly.

click to expand

Good

Posted by Andalusia

Well, my offer still stands.

Fair warning - I am a Virgo. So you might be better off staying single.

Don't you say that. Also two can play this game. I'm almost all air, so.... 😉

Posted by Mission2Venus

IKEA

It's Swedish though. You know the difference between Sweden and Norway? Sweden has a nice neighbor.

Posted by ImperfectStorm

You’re hilarious! I’d marry you. 🤓

But first I’d need to know your birthdate, time and location of birth..

For research purposes, of course. 😏

Research purposes. Mhm. I'm glad you only research astrology indicators 😁

Posted by GC69_

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by GC69_

Ohh my “I was wondering if maybe Antiphates has a German sister.” 🤣

This is actually cute. I see men and women are equally fascinated with Antiphates. That's a huge compliment.

Yeah, I just thought it was funny that DK was seeing if DXPers would offer up their family members to date lol.

click to expand

It's been fun. I like Germans in general. I think we Europeans get better along somehow. Maybe our culture is more compatible.

Posted by SassyKiwi

Ohh next time respond with, “Why, you offering to pay for the wedding and honeymoon? No? Then STFU.” That always shuts ‘em up for me.

What if they will pay gladly?

Posted by Mission2Venus

IKEA

It’s HILARIOUS!!! 😂😂😂😂😂

Posted by Krabss

Posted by GenericUsername

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by GenericUsername

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by LadyNeptune

I hope you have other reasons to wanting marriage beyond societal and family pressure. Cause that's a fast track to being incredibly unhappy and ending in divorce and loosing half your stuff. What I'm saying is get a prenup.

The pressure is real tho! 😿

I just thought the pressure is on women mostly.

“That unmarried woman over there” gotta be the biggest insult ever 😬

Is it tho? Unless you are feeding me, fucking me, or paying me I don't really care about your opinion of me.

People who project and pressure their life style on others tend to be really unhappy with their choices and looking for outside validation from those around them. Its like this cult mentality of your either with us or against us. Its wild to me.

I feel like we are conditioned to care too much about what other people around us think of us. Its a really effective tool for control.

On my 32th birthday all I got from strangers is - you look younger - and - awww don't worry, it's never too late -. The taxi driver who took me home said that he is a honest man so he told his lover that she can only be the mistress because he has a wife. He was so proud of himself, as if he was the most honest man on the planet, a true knight ( it's normal to cheat on wives here, but if a woman should cheat she's a demented whore ). Anyway when he heard my age he said: well don't worry you can always go for ( i don't know the English term ) but the literary translation from my language would be artificial insemination

Typical misogyny mindset, can't see women as anything more then baby incubators. Don't take it to heart, dude is driving a taxi for a living and lying to his wife... a role model he is not. His unsolicited opinion on what you should do with your own body is laughable at best.

That's why I described the situation, I never take those things personally because I don't see myself that way. It's just sad that people here ( don't know about your part of the globe ) consider you old at the age of 32. 32 or 62, they put it on the same level. It's because we are a primitive society. You finish school, go to Uni or start working, you get married, have children...and that's all to life.

3 cousins all got married after 35 and it wasn't a must for them. But my aunt is one the most supportive mothers i ever met. They are from your parts.

click to expand

They are from your parts—?

/dead 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Posted by DK

Posted by Mission2Venus

IKEA

It's Swedish though. You know the difference between Sweden and Norway? Sweden has a nice neighbor.

click to expand

There is no difference. Keep telling yourself that there is. One little northern. That’s all difference.

Posted by GemiMay

Posted by DK

Posted by Mission2Venus

IKEA

It's Swedish though. You know the difference between Sweden and Norway? Sweden has a nice neighbor.

There is no difference. Keep telling yourself that there is. One little northern. That’s all difference.

click to expand

It's a local joke. Scandinavian jokes featuring “the Swede, the Dane and the Norwegian” are commonplace in schools. The typical Swede is seen as rich, arrogant, and tech-savvy. The typical Dane is usually seen as a slightly decadent hedonist, with a can of beer never far from reach. The typical Norwegian is shown to be an uneducated jumper-wearing country bumpkin, always with a fish close at hand. Which is kind of funny since Norway is a rich country.

But yes. They are stereotypes.

I am honestly don’t give a shit if somebody married or not BUT I can’t help wondering why not! What am I supposed to do with myself that used to married people around me?

Family gatherings of married people with children, their BDays, Weddings of the children of my friends, Christmas and other holidays with families…

Please stop pretending that all the traditional living is gone forever.

It might be going but it’s not gone!

And as doctors publishing that changing gender is backfiring and it won’t last - family institution might BE BACK as soon as it’ll fade away to certain point when people will realize - it’s NOT working! Singles living together isn’t working! Because then it’ll turn into Sisters Wives show!

Men can ONLY stay with same woman unmarried if she is dominant and he is submissive and depending on her in some ways. Mostly financial.

Another one is - he is a weak lover and afraid to lose the only one who is so far haven’t left him.

Family CAN mean partners. But have you seen many for long? I don’t think so and if you did - read paragraph just above this one.

Women who are feminine (which how women were intend to be) will never give up on weddings and I said it before and it still is going on (many daughters friends marrying so I KNOW) - wedding halls are STILL BOOKED SOLID FOR YEARS AHEAD!

So keep on telling yourselves that it’s OK not to be married. Of course it’s ok for those who haven’t been asked. What ELSE are they supposed to tell?

Every woman MUST have said ‘My Husband’ once in life. It’s a law if woman’s brain! It’s yearning to say it.

I remember SO not wanting to be married and have kids so I was planning on talking someone to marry me (maybe even pay them) for a year and then DIVORCE! So it wouldn’t be weird to do it too soon and not questionable why we had no kids. I am not huge marriage cheerleader BUT I am always staying unbiased. Some things are not for me but if they were around forever - I’ll work within them things carefully but I’ll do it my way anyway.

It just happened that I got married. I HAD enjoyed saying ‘My Husband’…felt belongingness to a man I then loved. And I say if you aren’t married - it’s not any bodies business BUT don’t jump out of your skin when 99% of ALL OTHERS asking you stupid questions. THATS HOW IT IS! Always been and always going to be. Just stop making big deal out of parents wanting their kids to give them grandkids!!!

I petrified having grandkids BUT I also UNDERSTAND 99% of OTHERS who make them reason for living! So I say ‘how cute’ instead of ‘just like millions of others’…

Just be reasonable when YOU KNOW YOU ARE VAST MINORITY! Because you ARE!

Posted by GemiMay

Posted by SassyKiwi

Ohh next time respond with, “Why, you offering to pay for the wedding and honeymoon? No? Then STFU.” That always shuts ‘em up for me.

What if they will pay gladly?

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Then you make sure you get the most expensive stuff duh

Posted by Hypnotoad

Are you good at gardening?

I would think so. I'm just working on a big pond for my new place.

DK, it is you 🙂

Continue to be you.***



Warmth and light always attracts 🌱

--------------------------------------------------------

Posted by GemiMay

I am honestly don’t give a shit if somebody married or not BUT I can’t help wondering why not! What am I supposed to do with myself that used to married people around me?

Family gatherings of married people with children, their BDays, Weddings of the children of my friends, Christmas and other holidays with families…

Please stop pretending that all the traditional living is gone forever.

It might be going but it’s not gone!

And as doctors publishing that changing gender is backfiring and it won’t last - family institution might BE BACK as soon as it’ll fade away to certain point when people will realize - it’s NOT working! Singles living together isn’t working! Because then it’ll turn into Sisters Wives show!

Men can ONLY stay with same woman unmarried if she is dominant and he is submissive and depending on her in some ways. Mostly financial.

Another one is - he is a weak lover and afraid to lose the only one who is so far haven’t left him.

Family CAN mean partners. But have you seen many for long? I don’t think so and if you did - read paragraph just above this one.

Women who are feminine (which how women were intend to be) will never give up on weddings and I said it before and it still is going on (many daughters friends marrying so I KNOW) - wedding halls are STILL BOOKED SOLID FOR YEARS AHEAD!

So keep on telling yourselves that it’s OK not to be married. Of course it’s ok for those who haven’t been asked. What ELSE are they supposed to tell?

Every woman MUST have said ‘My Husband’ once in life. It’s a law if woman’s brain! It’s yearning to say it.

I remember SO not wanting to be married and have kids so I was planning on talking someone to marry me (maybe even pay them) for a year and then DIVORCE! So it wouldn’t be weird to do it too soon and not questionable why we had no kids. I am not huge marriage cheerleader BUT I am always staying unbiased. Some things are not for me but if they were around forever - I’ll work within them things carefully but I’ll do it my way anyway.

It just happened that I got married. I HAD enjoyed saying ‘My Husband’…felt belongingness to a man I then loved. And I say if you aren’t married - it’s not any bodies business BUT don’t jump out of your skin when 99% of ALL OTHERS asking you stupid questions. THATS HOW IT IS! Always been and always going to be. Just stop making big deal out of parents wanting their kids to give them grandkids!!!

I petrified having grandkids BUT I also UNDERSTAND 99% of OTHERS who make them reason for living! So I say ‘how cute’ instead of ‘just like millions of others’…

Just be reasonable when YOU KNOW YOU ARE VAST MINORITY! Because you ARE!

“Every woman MUST have said ‘My Husband’ once in life”

Maybe in the 1940s/50s but since the sexual revolution in the 60s not really

Women don’t need to be married now as they did then...life is moving forward👍

Posted by Reincarnation4

Posted by SeaLion

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by LadyNeptune

I hope you have other reasons to wanting marriage beyond societal and family pressure. Cause that's a fast track to being incredibly unhappy and ending in divorce and loosing half your stuff. What I'm saying is get a prenup.

The pressure is real tho! 😿

I just thought the pressure is on women mostly.

“That unmarried woman over there” gotta be the biggest insult ever 😬

Nah. Being asked why you don't have any children is the bigger insult.

Do women get asked this a lot?

click to expand

Yes

Posted by Reincarnation4

Posted by GenericUsername

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by LadyNeptune

I hope you have other reasons to wanting marriage beyond societal and family pressure. Cause that's a fast track to being incredibly unhappy and ending in divorce and loosing half your stuff. What I'm saying is get a prenup.

The pressure is real tho! 😿

I just thought the pressure is on women mostly.

“That unmarried woman over there” gotta be the biggest insult ever 😬

Is it tho? Unless you are feeding me, fucking me, or paying me I don't really care about your opinion of me.

People who project and pressure their life style on others tend to be really unhappy with their choices and looking for outside validation from those around them. Its like this cult mentality of your either with us or against us. Its wild to me.

I feel like we are conditioned to care too much about what other people around us think of us. Its a really effective tool for control.

On my 32th birthday all I got from strangers is - you look younger - and - awww don't worry, it's never too late -. The taxi driver who took me home said that he is a honest man so he told his lover that she can only be the mistress because he has a wife. He was so proud of himself, as if he was the most honest man on the planet, a true knight ( it's normal to cheat on wives here, but if a woman should cheat she's a demented whore ). Anyway when he heard my age he said: well don't worry you can always go for ( i don't know the English term ) but the literary translation from my language would be artificial insemination

What country?

click to expand

MNE

"Are you married?", "Do you have kids?' and "Do you mind asking why?" are nothing more than small talk.

Get off your high horse thinking that people asking these questions actually care what your response is!

Posted by Undine

"Are you married?", "Do you have kids?' and "Do you mind asking why?" are nothing more than small talk.

Get off your high horse thinking that people asking these questions actually care what your response is!

I have literally been harrased by people when I tell them I don't have kids. If it was just small talk then the conversation would end with me answering simply "no". But instead I get bombarded with follow up questions as to "why" and "why not" and when I tell them why then they go into "well there is always adoption. Plenty of kids out there that need homes" like I have never heard of adoption before or considered it... or "have you tried IVF and gone to a fertility clinic?" A lot of the questions and the way they act about it is like I'm not a real woman because I'm not a mother... or less than a woman because of it...and I should want kids and want a big family and then they go into having to tell me how wonderful it is being a parent.... and it is hurtful because I wanted children and I wanted to have those experiences but I can't and that is the reality of it.

I could care less if someone asks me if I'm married. It's usually men trying to get into my pants anyway.

Posted by SeaLion

Posted by Undine

"Are you married?", "Do you have kids?' and "Do you mind asking why?" are nothing more than small talk.

Get off your high horse thinking that people asking these questions actually care what your response is!

I have literally been harrased by people when I tell them I don't have kids. If it was just small talk then the conversation would end with me answering simply "no". But instead I get bombarded with follow up questions as to "why" and "why not" and when I tell them why then they go into "well there is always adoption. Plenty of kids out there that need homes" like I have never heard of adoption before or considered it... or "have you tried IVF and gone to a fertility clinic?" A lot of the questions and the way they act about it is like I'm not a real woman because I'm not a mother... or less than a woman because of it...and I should want kids and want a big family and then they go into having to tell me how wonderful it is being a parent.... and it is hurtful because I wanted children and I wanted to have those experiences but I can't and that is the reality of it.

I could care less if someone asks me if I'm married. It's usually men trying to get into my pants anyway.

click to expand

I understand how these questions may upset you. They don't know how this conversation makes you feel inside. I still believe it is just a part of a "getting to know you" small talk.

I don't have children either and I usually give one short answer and then change the subject. It's easy for me, because I never wanted to be a mother. Perhaps you could give them an answer that doesn't require more questions or unwanted advice.

On the other hand "Where is your husband?" question could be a case for a sarcastic response, but only if there is a misogynistic vibe about it.

I remember being asked it only twice in my life. Once in a small village in the Philippines, by a group of children. That was actually sweet! The other time, not so...our building management had sent a builder to knock on our doors to inform us about some work to be done. So I opened the door and the builder asked: "Is your husband at home?" Bemused, I replied with: "Do you want to talk to the owner of this apartment now, or wait until she remarries?"

“Where is your husband”?

“I killed him”

👿

I was thinking that you should not limit yourself to factors such as age, location, children, etc.

Everyone is fair game for marriage. At your age, you can have children and I don’t think you are old at all.

Look at Alec Baldwin and Richard Gere who just had brand new babies at 70 or whatever! Yes, I know it’s Hollywood but they are just humans too.

The reason I say this is, you will eliminate many women if you tell them you don’t want children. It’s a deal breaker for many people.

But somehow, I don’t think you are serious about marriage. Usually, people who are into marriage get it out of the way sooner because it is a priority for them. If it’s not a priority, don’t worry about it.

Marriage isn’t for everyone. Some people prefer solitude.

In case you are serious, just work on it and meet as many people as possible. Sooner than later, you will meet the right person. I believe it’s like getting a job. Sometimes, it falls in your lap, but other times you must search and apply and get hired! But you must like the job too. So yeah, you get my point =)

Posted by Undine

Posted by SeaLion

Posted by Undine

"Are you married?", "Do you have kids?' and "Do you mind asking why?" are nothing more than small talk.

Get off your high horse thinking that people asking these questions actually care what your response is!

I have literally been harrased by people when I tell them I don't have kids. If it was just small talk then the conversation would end with me answering simply "no". But instead I get bombarded with follow up questions as to "why" and "why not" and when I tell them why then they go into "well there is always adoption. Plenty of kids out there that need homes" like I have never heard of adoption before or considered it... or "have you tried IVF and gone to a fertility clinic?" A lot of the questions and the way they act about it is like I'm not a real woman because I'm not a mother... or less than a woman because of it...and I should want kids and want a big family and then they go into having to tell me how wonderful it is being a parent.... and it is hurtful because I wanted children and I wanted to have those experiences but I can't and that is the reality of it.

I could care less if someone asks me if I'm married. It's usually men trying to get into my pants anyway.

I understand how these questions may upset you. They don't know how this conversation makes you feel inside. I still believe it is just a part of a "getting to know you" small talk.

I don't have children either and I usually give one short answer and then change the subject. It's easy for me, because I never wanted to be a mother. Perhaps you could give them an answer that doesn't require more questions or unwanted advice.

click to expand

I don't mind the initial question like that. People ask and I will say "no, I don't" some ppl drop it and we move on. Great. But 9 times out of 10 it turns into a full blown conversation that I never wanted to have with a stranger. When they ask "why" I tell them "I can't have them" .... again....some ppl drop it after that....but 9 times out of 10 it turns into the above scenario.

A lot of the times it happens at work where I can't be rude about it cause they are clients. If it's out of work then yeah, I'll get rude.

Posted by Undine

On the other hand "Where is your husband?" question could be a case for a sarcastic response, but only if there is a misogynistic vibe about it.

I remember being asked it only twice in my life. Once in a small village in the Philippines, by a group of children. That was actually sweet! The other time, not so...our building management had sent a builder to knock on our doors to inform us about some work to be done. So I opened the door and the builder asked: "Is your husband at home?" Bemused, I replied with: "Do you want to talk to the owner of this apartment now, or wait until she remarries?"

I got a phone call about a month ago asking for "the man of the house" I had a good laugh about that the rest of the day.

Posted by SeaLion

Posted by Undine

Posted by SeaLion

Posted by Undine

"Are you married?", "Do you have kids?' and "Do you mind asking why?" are nothing more than small talk.

Get off your high horse thinking that people asking these questions actually care what your response is!

I have literally been harrased by people when I tell them I don't have kids. If it was just small talk then the conversation would end with me answering simply "no". But instead I get bombarded with follow up questions as to "why" and "why not" and when I tell them why then they go into "well there is always adoption. Plenty of kids out there that need homes" like I have never heard of adoption before or considered it... or "have you tried IVF and gone to a fertility clinic?" A lot of the questions and the way they act about it is like I'm not a real woman because I'm not a mother... or less than a woman because of it...and I should want kids and want a big family and then they go into having to tell me how wonderful it is being a parent.... and it is hurtful because I wanted children and I wanted to have those experiences but I can't and that is the reality of it.

I could care less if someone asks me if I'm married. It's usually men trying to get into my pants anyway.

I understand how these questions may upset you. They don't know how this conversation makes you feel inside. I still believe it is just a part of a "getting to know you" small talk.

I don't have children either and I usually give one short answer and then change the subject. It's easy for me, because I never wanted to be a mother. Perhaps you could give them an answer that doesn't require more questions or unwanted advice.

I don't mind the initial question like that. People ask and I will say "no, I don't" some ppl drop it and we move on. Great. But 9 times out of 10 it turns into a full blown conversation that I never wanted to have with a stranger. When they ask "why" I tell them "I can't have them" .... again....some ppl drop it after that....but 9 times out of 10 it turns into the above scenario.

A lot of the times it happens at work where I can't be rude about it cause they are clients. If it's out of work then yeah, I'll get rude.

click to expand

They carry on asking because you are too nice to reply to each question. If I were you, I would say "for personal reasons" and immediately ask them about something else. It's a social clue that digging any further would be considered too intrusive.

Posted by Undine

Posted by SeaLion

Posted by Undine

Posted by SeaLion

Posted by Undine

"Are you married?", "Do you have kids?' and "Do you mind asking why?" are nothing more than small talk.

Get off your high horse thinking that people asking these questions actually care what your response is!

I have literally been harrased by people when I tell them I don't have kids. If it was just small talk then the conversation would end with me answering simply "no". But instead I get bombarded with follow up questions as to "why" and "why not" and when I tell them why then they go into "well there is always adoption. Plenty of kids out there that need homes" like I have never heard of adoption before or considered it... or "have you tried IVF and gone to a fertility clinic?" A lot of the questions and the way they act about it is like I'm not a real woman because I'm not a mother... or less than a woman because of it...and I should want kids and want a big family and then they go into having to tell me how wonderful it is being a parent.... and it is hurtful because I wanted children and I wanted to have those experiences but I can't and that is the reality of it.

I could care less if someone asks me if I'm married. It's usually men trying to get into my pants anyway.

I understand how these questions may upset you. They don't know how this conversation makes you feel inside. I still believe it is just a part of a "getting to know you" small talk.

I don't have children either and I usually give one short answer and then change the subject. It's easy for me, because I never wanted to be a mother. Perhaps you could give them an answer that doesn't require more questions or unwanted advice.

I don't mind the initial question like that. People ask and I will say "no, I don't" some ppl drop it and we move on. Great. But 9 times out of 10 it turns into a full blown conversation that I never wanted to have with a stranger. When they ask "why" I tell them "I can't have them" .... again....some ppl drop it after that....but 9 times out of 10 it turns into the above scenario.

A lot of the times it happens at work where I can't be rude about it cause they are clients. If it's out of work then yeah, I'll get rude.

They carry on asking because you are too nice to reply to each question. If I were you, I would say "for personal reasons" and immediately ask them about something else. It's a social clue that digging any further would be considered too intrusive.

click to expand

Maybe I'll try that next time.

Posted by Gobbie

Posted by SeaLion

I have literally been harrased by people when I tell them I don't have kids. If it was just small talk then the conversation would end with me answering simply "no". But instead I get bombarded with follow up questions as to "why" and "why not" and when I tell them why then they go into "well there is always adoption. Plenty of kids out there that need homes" like I have never heard of adoption before or considered it... or "have you tried IVF and gone to a fertility clinic?" A lot of the questions and the way they act about it is like I'm not a real woman because I'm not a mother... or less than a woman because of it...and I should want kids and want a big family and then they go into having to tell me how wonderful it is being a parent.... and it is hurtful because I wanted children and I wanted to have those experiences but I can't and that is the reality of it.

They're actually miserable and want to drag you down with them, because they secretly envy you. If not then they are simply brainwashed fools.

click to expand

Small minded, insensitive morons

Herd mentality ....

Posted by borednbeautiful

I was thinking that you should not limit yourself to factors such as age, location, children, etc.

Everyone is fair game for marriage. At your age, you can have children and I don’t think you are old at all.

Look at Alec Baldwin and Richard Gere who just had brand new babies at 70 or whatever! Yes, I know it’s Hollywood but they are just humans too.

The reason I say this is, you will eliminate many women if you tell them you don’t want children. It’s a deal breaker for many people.

But somehow, I don’t think you are serious about marriage. Usually, people who are into marriage get it out of the way sooner because it is a priority for them. If it’s not a priority, don’t worry about it.

Marriage isn’t for everyone. Some people prefer solitude.

In case you are serious, just work on it and meet as many people as possible. Sooner than later, you will meet the right person. I believe it’s like getting a job. Sometimes, it falls in your lap, but other times you must search and apply and get hired! But you must like the job too. So yeah, you get my point =)

You do miss your Leo. I miss someone I lost and burried many years ago. I laugh, I joke about things and myself, and it keeps me sane but I can't escape the darkness that at times haunts me and creates a barrier between myself and others. So I'm always two versions of myself, my best and my worst.

Anyway, I thank your for you advice because I know you mean it well.