Would you sign a pre-nup?

Just wondering.

Yes.

If I can sign a marriage certificate I can certainly sign a prenup

Anyone who is thinking about a pre-nup shouldn't bother getting married.

But then again, most of the selfish and narcissistic assholes that permeate society should not get married.

Posted by ScorpioFish
Anyone who is thinking about a pre-nup shouldn't bother getting married.

Can you expand on this?

It's me thinking for myself and my partner..as I've seen a lot of men get devastated financially in divorce so one less worry for my husband.

If I was filthy rich, no, I'd like him to have whatever's left when I die. If he was rich and he wants a pre-nup, I'm okay with that.

and lets not forget about the children...

Why would we need one? We're engaged because we've decided to spend the rest of our lives together. As my FI said, if someone needs a prenup, they're not ready to get married.

Yeah, my parents were all about spending their lives together. She ruined him in both divorces..first time with getting the custody only..second time getting absolutely everything. He got left in the dust.

No one can say what goes further down the line. It's not me not having confidence in my partner and to be honest it's men who bring this up more often and I get why.

As a man who has had financial problems as direct result of post divorce bills...No, I wouldn't sign one.

Maybe if I was filthy rich as some kind of anti gold digger clause.

If there's a pre-nup in a "normal people" marriage, to me, says the end is a "when" not an "if". I'm not getting married again if I see the end being a "when" (barring death of course).

Death doesn't matter unless there's a Will which excludes the spouse. If we're married and I die, it's all yours.

Oh if I die out of the blue, it will be yours. But if I'll get the chance to have a will..our spawns of satan will get more than you will out of my death. Because they'll need it in the future while I am sure you can manage yourself. It's a sign of respect actually.

Posted by tiziani
You'd have to be crazy enough to get married in the first place.

Yeah. You tell'em Bonnie and stop asking for a ring.

Likely, I wouldn't even be with a person who thinks in those terms ... much less be close to marrying one.

The way I see it marriage is complicated enough as it is. Why have financial worries on top of it all?

Let's focus on counting money and making babies.

Posted by tripleCap
I wouldn't get married without one.
Marriage contract = business contract

And here comes the triplecap perspective lol.

When I gave my answer I just asked myself WWJJD and I saw judge Judge telling me to get a prenup??_.I just typed judge judy and prenup in the youtube search engine and this came up??_.Do you really want to find yourself in a judge judy court room with her calling you an idiot?

If I were rich and single, I probably wouldn't even tell the other person that I have money.

Because you can't tell by looking at me .. I'm not opposed to saving money by shopping at Walmart.

If a guy I was dating wanted me to sign one .... I'd slip the switch, and jump ship, never to look back.

Basically never underestimate how vicious people can get during a divorce.

Posted by tripleCap
I wouldn't get married without one.
Marriage contract = business contract

Sadly, that's just about what it has become.

Big business.

This generation is all kinds of messed up. People screw each other over for anything and everything. There is no honor and respect in it.

I just want to avoid any viciousness that might ensure if we ever are to part ways at some point.

There are people who aren't like that, though ... and they usually are NOT taken. They are usually the ones who are single because they, too, are appalled that people no longer care about integrity.

Posted by Lucciferi
Yes, just in case. It doesn't have to be a precursor, but I don't see anything wrong with protection. And if we ended civilly, I probably won't have any tiffs about helping her out. It just needs to be an amount and or assets that I'm comfortable with.

Instead of, she gets everything and now I have nothing.

It will be an amount your ex-wife, her lawyer, and the judge are comfortable with.

All three will be very comfortable with you having nothing.

Posted by P-Angel

There are people who aren't like that, though ... and they usually are NOT taken. They are usually the ones who are single because they, too, are appalled that people no longer care about integrity.

I know P. For me it can go either way. I won't insist on it myself but I can understand if he does. I can't hold it against him or believe he sees me as just one of the gold diggers, I don't see it a slight against my character. I'm thinking of our children mostly.

It's staggering how many couples start off well and then they get lost along the way and completely ruin and destroy each other in divorce. The children are the ones who suffer through this because on top of the emotional damage they see their parents fight over money. It should never be like that, fighting over petty shit. Ideally both would be aware enough not to go there but again..people show off a total different side in divorce. They're out for blood.

I'm ok with whatever genuine long term relationship I'll have. If it's genuine, the rest can fall into place if we both wanted it and we'll meet each other half way. Marriage or no marriage.

Posted by Damnata
This generation is all kinds of messed up. People screw each other over for anything and everything. There is no honor and respect in it.

The Godless millennials don't have any honor or respect—?

I am shocked! Shocked I tell you!!!

Posted by ScorpioFish

Posted by Damnata
This generation is all kinds of messed up. People screw each other over for anything and everything. There is no honor and respect in it.

The Godless millennials don't have any honor or respect—?

I am shocked! Shocked I tell you!!!

click to expand

You know I agree with you man on my generation.

Stop hyperventilating.

The standard reaction to my stance is to say it's being a realist and not a pessimist. Afterall, most marriages fail. They say it's just laying ground rules, just in case.

I don't know...

I get it...but...it just seems wrong.

I don't see a pre-nup as a way to guarantee a longer or more successful marriage Sid.

I do see it as a way to appease the insane in divorce proceedings.

I asked this because I currently know 3 women who are getting taken to the cleaners by men. This is so strange to me. The idea of a man wanting alimony or half of my 401K is just really difficult for me to grasp.

I would never have thought of it before but I am certainly rethinking my position. I have 25 more years to work by that time I hope to have quite the substantial nest egg. I can't imagine giving someone half of it. I would be on Craigslist looking for a hit man.

For the record, I have no problem signing one.

yes

Posted by Lucciferi
Nala, is it insane to you that women do that? Want half of what YOU worked for?

No but I realize the double standard.

I would feel pretty much compelled to have a pre-nup if/when I got married again. People make some fair points here, but I have a bit of a different perspective.

It would have to be spelled out what my kid got in case of my demise for starters. Such things as life insurance is a big deal. There are specific personal items that I want my daughter to have, and no one else. If for some reason we ended a marriage, not having to fight over such things as personal items would make if a good deal easier.

We would have to decide what is "community" property, and what property each party would retain complete control over. I manage my parents estate, and I have to protect my siblings and their heirs interests. The only way to keep what can laughingly be called peace between us would be strong legal protections of their rights and interests.

If I were young and just starting out, I wouldn't worry about it. I actually didn't worry about it, but at this point in my life, there are a lot more people to worry about than just me and her.

Posted by caliber

Posted by cakereshkigal
People have different reasons why they enter a marriage, it's not just about love.

so it's about personal gain?

again, no point in getting married then. that seriously almost makes me irate.

click to expand

Settle down pisces mooner!

Posted by caliber

Posted by cakereshkigal
People have different reasons why they enter a marriage, it's not just about love.

so it's about personal gain?

again, no point in getting married then. that seriously almost makes me irate.

click to expand

+1

Posted by caliber
anyone i would decide to marry is not going to be the type of vicious person that would have me by my ovaries at the time of an amicable split. same the other way around.

How can you know what a person will turn into 5, 10, 15, 20 years down the road? Maybe they feel they sacrificed and are owed something.

I once date a guy who kept talking about the 250K his ex-wife got in the divorce. It was half his pension. They had been divorced for years and he was still talking about it. He was a Taurus so I imagine it bothered him more than it might others.

lol I was about to say good god girl get a grip??_..some womens ovaries get twitchy when they hear prenup and they stop ovulating

haha I'm TEASING. I agree with the sentiment. It's what a relationship should be one that entails genuine love. Not an arrangement.

Not if I was the one coming into the marriage penniless. Let's face it, I'd have to take on a new surname + title, but everything will remain the same on his part so I do deserve a pay day when it's all over lol. All those changes can be traumatic, you know. However, I'd make sure that he signs next to every dot if I were the one bringing in a lot of money into the marriage. No way I'm sharing MY hard earned money with a man 🙂

Would you sign a pre-nup?

I will not marry again without one..for many reasons.

First and foremost those who have not endured a divorce, what you don't realize, it's the blood sucking lawyers that make divorce a money machine for themselves, not the two parties involved. BOTH lawyers talk privately and strategize with each other throughout the process like it's a game while making a shit ton of money off both parties.

If I marry someone again, I really don't give a rats ass what he has or does not have monetarily speaking. I will share whatever I have during the marriage as I see fit, as I assume he would. If he wants to walk..or if I should walk, we will BOTH have what we brought to the marriage PRIOR without a lawyer telling me I have to SPLIT it. We will have separate joint bank accounts during the marriage and we will split our living expenses DURING the marriage. Lesson learned there with bank accounts. If I move from the state of New York, I will check matrimonial law in the state I'm in and may make changes to the pre-nup, but as long as I'm in this state..no way!! The pre-nup is also going to include and refer to my will and living revocable trust I have set up for my son, so my son doesn't get raped by the system if something should happen to me. If I do get married, and it lasts more than 10 years, I will make minor changes to the will so that I leave something to the man I'm married to for his retirement, depending on whether he needs it or not. Anything we've purchased for ourselves throughout our marriage will be designated to him. The rest that I've had prior to the marriage I will list as I see fit who gets what if I have to make changes.

When, if my son should marry I am going to insist the same.

Anyone who doesn't get a pre-nup these days will wish they did. Shit happens, why should it cost money, a great deal of stress on top of the heartbreak of the split when/if two people split? It shouldn't. Lawyers will rake you through the coals emotionally, monetarily and without a thought. They don't care. Their first job is to make you enemies.

~continued~

When my ex and I split, we were extremely civil and still remain close friends. When we shared notes/e-mails etc...from both lawyers we could not believe what they were doing. We took control of our divorce, hired accountants and it was the accountants who got our divorce settled. That was after each of us spending over 15,000.00 (me) 22,000.00 for him in attorney's fees. Total cost for both accounts: $ 3,000.00. My accountant is standing by to set up a pre-nup PRIOR to taking it to a lawyer when/if needed.

A marriage and what it's suppose to be is separate from ALL OF THIS. If it lasts, this doesn't even come into play. Very simple, logical and SMART.

No.

Posted by ScorpioFish
Anyone who is thinking about a pre-nup shouldn't bother getting married.

But then again, most of the selfish and narcissistic assholes that permeate society should not get married.

+++

I'd rather not marry at all. Why complicate things?

I would just for the simple reason, that I've divided assets in the middle of a tragedy. This, was one of the issues that really broke my fucking spirit.

I'd much rather be prepared and negotiate on happy terms. Have a clear contingency plan to follow, if the ship is ever going down. I want life jackets and floatation devices. Just because you know where the emergency exits are, doesn't mean you'll ever have to use them.

As much as I value security in a relationship, I actually put free will above it. The last thing I want is someone sticking around for any other reason than their desire to do so. I have no problem making it easy for someone to leave me, if that's what they want.

I used to be opposed to them but now I see them as an asset to both parties.

The Pre-Nup is not the issue, it's your idea and attitude toward a Pre-Nup.
It does not have to be divisive.
If I am rich, I want my husband and children to be provided for if the union ends.
A Pre-Nup is a contract, and contracts are agreements.
Contracts can be drawn up to say what you would like them to say.

If a couple decides to get a Pre-Nup; each should have their own lawyer take a look at it.
Both can agree on the terms.

If a wealthy man/woman wants his/her spouse to have half of his/her money if the marriage ends it can say that too. You can also renegotiate that contract later down the line.

And you don't have to be rich to have a Pre-Nup.

MrFirebird was here.