Does the no contact rule work in a relationship (Page 2)

Posted by Scheherazade

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Scheherazade

Posted by LadyNeptune

You’ve been together 1.5+ years and he hasn’t responded/spoke with you for 14 days??!

To me, that’s a strong indication it’s over.

Someone who doesn’t care to check in with you and see how your doing after 2 weeks isn’t in a relationship with you any longer.

Even if your extremely busy you can spare a few minutes to say hello or text and check in. I don’t buy the ‘I’m busy’ excuse. No one is that busy unless they are being held against their will.

You said it yourself. Your always the one to start the communication and reach out. What does that say about his interest level...

Add to this his awareness of your issues of insecurity and need for consistent affection and attention...

It all reads one way... he doesn’t care.

I know your 100% in. But he’s not even meeting you half way. It’s never gonna work unless he also genuinely cares.

And all signs point to him not caring.

If he does come back around you need to find the steel in your spine and make it crystal clear to him what you need in order for the relationship to thrive. Frequency and length of communication. Physical and emotional intimacy. Be specific.

It doesn’t work to have you be the only one to put effort in. He needs to make some effort. Otherwise wtf is the point?

My guess is he wanted to get some from someone else. Otherwise why bring up those rules.

I could be wrong but I don’t think the no contact rule is coming from him.

The op decided to stop reaching out because he wasn’t responding. And in some of her earlier threads people were advising her to cool it on the communication and let him get his head on straight.

But using no contact rule as a means to regain your power in the relationship isn’t really affective if he’s already been ignoring your communication anyways.

I get that. But he’s still technically the one that left and said it was okay for them to sleep with different people and no matter what she’s doing whether reaching out or not he’s not reciprocating anything which makes me think he wanted out and had someone else in mind.

click to expand

I think your thinking of this thread...

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/leo/jealousy-fights-with-my-leo-man-13908594/

Posted by Scheherazade

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Scheherazade

Posted by LadyNeptune

You’ve been together 1.5+ years and he hasn’t responded/spoke with you for 14 days??!

To me, that’s a strong indication it’s over.

Someone who doesn’t care to check in with you and see how your doing after 2 weeks isn’t in a relationship with you any longer.

Even if your extremely busy you can spare a few minutes to say hello or text and check in. I don’t buy the ‘I’m busy’ excuse. No one is that busy unless they are being held against their will.

You said it yourself. Your always the one to start the communication and reach out. What does that say about his interest level...

Add to this his awareness of your issues of insecurity and need for consistent affection and attention...

It all reads one way... he doesn’t care.

I know your 100% in. But he’s not even meeting you half way. It’s never gonna work unless he also genuinely cares.

And all signs point to him not caring.

If he does come back around you need to find the steel in your spine and make it crystal clear to him what you need in order for the relationship to thrive. Frequency and length of communication. Physical and emotional intimacy. Be specific.

It doesn’t work to have you be the only one to put effort in. He needs to make some effort. Otherwise wtf is the point?

My guess is he wanted to get some from someone else. Otherwise why bring up those rules.

I could be wrong but I don’t think the no contact rule is coming from him.

The op decided to stop reaching out because he wasn’t responding. And in some of her earlier threads people were advising her to cool it on the communication and let him get his head on straight.

But using no contact rule as a means to regain your power in the relationship isn’t really affective if he’s already been ignoring your communication anyways.

I get that. But he’s still technically the one that left and said it was okay for them to sleep with different people and no matter what she’s doing whether reaching out or not he’s not reciprocating anything which makes me think he wanted out and had someone else in mind.

click to expand

Where is that coming from. God no that never happened. We're exclusive, he never said we're sleeping with other ppl. God noooo😭😭😭😭

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Scheherazade

Posted by LadyNeptune

You’ve been together 1.5+ years and he hasn’t responded/spoke with you for 14 days??!

To me, that’s a strong indication it’s over.

Someone who doesn’t care to check in with you and see how your doing after 2 weeks isn’t in a relationship with you any longer.

Even if your extremely busy you can spare a few minutes to say hello or text and check in. I don’t buy the ‘I’m busy’ excuse. No one is that busy unless they are being held against their will.

You said it yourself. Your always the one to start the communication and reach out. What does that say about his interest level...

Add to this his awareness of your issues of insecurity and need for consistent affection and attention...

It all reads one way... he doesn’t care.

I know your 100% in. But he’s not even meeting you half way. It’s never gonna work unless he also genuinely cares.

And all signs point to him not caring.

If he does come back around you need to find the steel in your spine and make it crystal clear to him what you need in order for the relationship to thrive. Frequency and length of communication. Physical and emotional intimacy. Be specific.

It doesn’t work to have you be the only one to put effort in. He needs to make some effort. Otherwise wtf is the point?

My guess is he wanted to get some from someone else. Otherwise why bring up those rules.

I could be wrong but I don’t think the no contact rule is coming from him.

The op decided to stop reaching out because he wasn’t responding. And in some of her earlier threads people were advising her to cool it on the communication and let him get his head on straight.

But using no contact rule as a means to regain your power in the relationship isn’t really affective if he’s already been ignoring your communication anyways.

click to expand

What do you say I do now. Just straight up go talk to him?

Posted by Fanta

Posted by LadyNeptune

You’ve been together 1.5+ years and he hasn’t responded/spoke with you for 14 days??!

To me, that’s a strong indication it’s over.

Someone who doesn’t care to check in with you and see how your doing after 2 weeks isn’t in a relationship with you any longer.

Even if your extremely busy you can spare a few minutes to say hello or text and check in. I don’t buy the ‘I’m busy’ excuse. No one is that busy unless they are being held against their will.

You said it yourself. Your always the one to start the communication and reach out. What does that say about his interest level...

Add to this his awareness of your issues of insecurity and need for consistent affection and attention...

It all reads one way... he doesn’t care.

I know your 100% in. But he’s not even meeting you half way. It’s never gonna work unless he also genuinely cares.

And all signs point to him not caring.

If he does come back around you need to find the steel in your spine and make it crystal clear to him what you need in order for the relationship to thrive. Frequency and length of communication. Physical and emotional intimacy. Be specific.

It doesn’t work to have you be the only one to put effort in. He needs to make some effort. Otherwise wtf is the point?

I agree.

Do you think it's also possible that he cares...just not enough, hence the mixed signals? In some ways that's harder to deal with than just getting the cold shoulder. Maybe he's finally trying to have a spine and not use her.

click to expand

Possibly. Only he knows that.

And I totally get that sometimes, for various reasons, effort may shift and not be 50/50 but 30/70 or 60/40.

But communication, especially text, is so easy to do. So its hard for me to wrap my head around a scenario where he cares about their relationship but leaves her unread/ on read for 2 weeks.

Posted by bad_at_usernames

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Scheherazade

Posted by LadyNeptune

You’ve been together 1.5+ years and he hasn’t responded/spoke with you for 14 days??!

To me, that’s a strong indication it’s over.

Someone who doesn’t care to check in with you and see how your doing after 2 weeks isn’t in a relationship with you any longer.

Even if your extremely busy you can spare a few minutes to say hello or text and check in. I don’t buy the ‘I’m busy’ excuse. No one is that busy unless they are being held against their will.

You said it yourself. Your always the one to start the communication and reach out. What does that say about his interest level...

Add to this his awareness of your issues of insecurity and need for consistent affection and attention...

It all reads one way... he doesn’t care.

I know your 100% in. But he’s not even meeting you half way. It’s never gonna work unless he also genuinely cares.

And all signs point to him not caring.

If he does come back around you need to find the steel in your spine and make it crystal clear to him what you need in order for the relationship to thrive. Frequency and length of communication. Physical and emotional intimacy. Be specific.

It doesn’t work to have you be the only one to put effort in. He needs to make some effort. Otherwise wtf is the point?

My guess is he wanted to get some from someone else. Otherwise why bring up those rules.

I could be wrong but I don’t think the no contact rule is coming from him.

The op decided to stop reaching out because he wasn’t responding. And in some of her earlier threads people were advising her to cool it on the communication and let him get his head on straight.

But using no contact rule as a means to regain your power in the relationship isn’t really affective if he’s already been ignoring your communication anyways.

What do you say I do now. Just straight up go talk to him?

click to expand

What good will that do if he's ignoring your calls and text and all communication?

Posted by Fanta

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Fanta

Posted by LadyNeptune

You’ve been together 1.5+ years and he hasn’t responded/spoke with you for 14 days??!

To me, that’s a strong indication it’s over.

Someone who doesn’t care to check in with you and see how your doing after 2 weeks isn’t in a relationship with you any longer.

Even if your extremely busy you can spare a few minutes to say hello or text and check in. I don’t buy the ‘I’m busy’ excuse. No one is that busy unless they are being held against their will.

You said it yourself. Your always the one to start the communication and reach out. What does that say about his interest level...

Add to this his awareness of your issues of insecurity and need for consistent affection and attention...

It all reads one way... he doesn’t care.

I know your 100% in. But he’s not even meeting you half way. It’s never gonna work unless he also genuinely cares.

And all signs point to him not caring.

If he does come back around you need to find the steel in your spine and make it crystal clear to him what you need in order for the relationship to thrive. Frequency and length of communication. Physical and emotional intimacy. Be specific.

It doesn’t work to have you be the only one to put effort in. He needs to make some effort. Otherwise wtf is the point?

I agree.

Do you think it's also possible that he cares...just not enough, hence the mixed signals? In some ways that's harder to deal with than just getting the cold shoulder. Maybe he's finally trying to have a spine and not use her.

Possibly. Only he knows that.

And I totally get that sometimes, for various reasons, effort may shift and not be 50/50 but 30/70 or 60/40.

But communication, especially text, is so easy to do. So its hard for me to wrap my head around a scenario where he cares about their relationship but leaves her unread/ on read for 2 weeks.

This hasn't ever sounded like a relationship to me when she describes it. It sounds like a situationship that she calls a relationship. *shrugs*

click to expand

Yeah too forced. My grams always said find someone who loves you more than you love them.

Thats a little extreme but the message is right.

Posted by Fanta

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Fanta

Posted by LadyNeptune

You’ve been together 1.5+ years and he hasn’t responded/spoke with you for 14 days??!

To me, that’s a strong indication it’s over.

Someone who doesn’t care to check in with you and see how your doing after 2 weeks isn’t in a relationship with you any longer.

Even if your extremely busy you can spare a few minutes to say hello or text and check in. I don’t buy the ‘I’m busy’ excuse. No one is that busy unless they are being held against their will.

You said it yourself. Your always the one to start the communication and reach out. What does that say about his interest level...

Add to this his awareness of your issues of insecurity and need for consistent affection and attention...

It all reads one way... he doesn’t care.

I know your 100% in. But he’s not even meeting you half way. It’s never gonna work unless he also genuinely cares.

And all signs point to him not caring.

If he does come back around you need to find the steel in your spine and make it crystal clear to him what you need in order for the relationship to thrive. Frequency and length of communication. Physical and emotional intimacy. Be specific.

It doesn’t work to have you be the only one to put effort in. He needs to make some effort. Otherwise wtf is the point?

I agree.

Do you think it's also possible that he cares...just not enough, hence the mixed signals? In some ways that's harder to deal with than just getting the cold shoulder. Maybe he's finally trying to have a spine and not use her.

Possibly. Only he knows that.

And I totally get that sometimes, for various reasons, effort may shift and not be 50/50 but 30/70 or 60/40.

But communication, especially text, is so easy to do. So its hard for me to wrap my head around a scenario where he cares about their relationship but leaves her unread/ on read for 2 weeks.

This hasn't ever sounded like a relationship to me when she describes it. It sounds like a situationship that she calls a relationship. *shrugs*

click to expand

I'm sorry doesn't a situationship mean something that hasn't been defined? Well ours is defined, official and I know he loves me. It may not look like that to anybody right now, but inside my heart I know how many times I felt like I'm more important to him than he shows, he misses me when we're apart. He traveled 250 km and back many times to see me for 3 hrs merely, last year we didn't meet each other for 9 months and 25 days and that man stayed loyal to me, told me how much he missed me so frequently and admist that too he had an episode of going off like this, like the one going on right now. When we talked again after me chasing him he'd already planned his visit to me but wasn't talking to me and I was going crazyyyy—?? He bought gifts for our anniversary while he was suffering from herpes zoster and we hadn't talked to each other for 12 days (a different time) I was thinking WTF is up and that man was going about buying gifts for me WHILE sick. He hadn't told me he's sick and hadn't talked. He'd brought me an anklet actually and he sat at me feel and put it in my feet himself. Took my breath away at that moment. But he's weird AF. Weirder than anyone I know. He remembers the little things I tell him about myself that I don't expect him to remember. Yes but he also forgets our anniversary date but that's okk I think it's cute🤣❤🙈 Doesn't talk to me for 10 days but dude tells his best friend that he's missing me. He's absolutely crazy. December he had a short one week episode of going off and when we talked he told me he'd planned his whole March visit to me. That man's absolutely crazy but I know he loves me and I wronged him for real at the time he was making me the happiest ever in our relationship. There's a reason why I'm not giving up on him no matter what it looks like to anyone else. My heart tells me he'll come back to me like he always has. I trust him and I trust God. Touchwood🤞🤞. I'm gonna not give up and he won't break my heart (Touchwood again🤞🤞) coz his heart is connected to my heart.

Posted by Fanta

Posted by bad_at_usernames

Posted by Fanta

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Fanta

Posted by LadyNeptune

You’ve been together 1.5+ years and he hasn’t responded/spoke with you for 14 days??!

To me, that’s a strong indication it’s over.

Someone who doesn’t care to check in with you and see how your doing after 2 weeks isn’t in a relationship with you any longer.

Even if your extremely busy you can spare a few minutes to say hello or text and check in. I don’t buy the ‘I’m busy’ excuse. No one is that busy unless they are being held against their will.

You said it yourself. Your always the one to start the communication and reach out. What does that say about his interest level...

Add to this his awareness of your issues of insecurity and need for consistent affection and attention...

It all reads one way... he doesn’t care.

I know your 100% in. But he’s not even meeting you half way. It’s never gonna work unless he also genuinely cares.

And all signs point to him not caring.

If he does come back around you need to find the steel in your spine and make it crystal clear to him what you need in order for the relationship to thrive. Frequency and length of communication. Physical and emotional intimacy. Be specific.

It doesn’t work to have you be the only one to put effort in. He needs to make some effort. Otherwise wtf is the point?

I agree.

Do you think it's also possible that he cares...just not enough, hence the mixed signals? In some ways that's harder to deal with than just getting the cold shoulder. Maybe he's finally trying to have a spine and not use her.

Possibly. Only he knows that.

And I totally get that sometimes, for various reasons, effort may shift and not be 50/50 but 30/70 or 60/40.

But communication, especially text, is so easy to do. So its hard for me to wrap my head around a scenario where he cares about their relationship but leaves her unread/ on read for 2 weeks.

This hasn't ever sounded like a relationship to me when she describes it. It sounds like a situationship that she calls a relationship. *shrugs*

I'm sorry doesn't a relationship mean something that hasn't been defined? Well ours is defined, official and I know he loves me. It may not look like that to anybody right now, but inside my heart I know how many times I felt like I'm more important to him than he shows, he misses me when we're apart. He traveled 250 km and back many times to see me for 3 hrs merely, last year we didn't meet each other for 9 months and 25 days and that man stayed loyal to me, told me how much he missed me so frequently and admist that too he had an episode of going off like this, like the one going on right now. When we talked again after me chasing him he'd already planned his visit to me but wasn't talking to me and I was going crazyyyy—?? He bought gifts for our anniversary while he was suffering from herpes zoster and we hadn't talked to each other for 12 days (a different time) I was thinking WTF is up and that man was going about buying gifts for me WHILE sick. He hadn't told me he's sick and hadn't talked. He's weird AF. Weirder than anyone I know. He remembers the little things I tell him about myself that I don't expect him to remember. Yes but he also forgets our anniversary date but that's okk I think it's cute🤣❤🙈 Doesn't talk to me for 10 days but dude tells his best friend that he's missing me. He's absolutely crazy. December he had a short one week episode of going off and when we talked he told me he'd planned his whole March visit to me. That man's absolutely crazy but I know he loves me and I wronged him for real at the time he was making me the happiest ever in our relationship. There's a reason why I'm not giving up on him no matter what it looks like to anyone else. My heart tells me he'll come back to me like he always has. I trust him and I trust God. Touchwood🤞🤞. I'm gonna not give up and he won't break my heart (Touchwood again🤞🤞) coz his heart is connected to my heart.

Now you've brought up herpes.

https://i.imgflip.com/221ymd.jpg<div class="bqfade">click to expand

I'm sorry what?

also if you don't contact me

then i will block you

#modernsolutions

Posted by bad_at_usernames

Posted by Fanta

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Fanta

Posted by LadyNeptune

You’ve been together 1.5+ years and he hasn’t responded/spoke with you for 14 days??!

To me, that’s a strong indication it’s over.

Someone who doesn’t care to check in with you and see how your doing after 2 weeks isn’t in a relationship with you any longer.

Even if your extremely busy you can spare a few minutes to say hello or text and check in. I don’t buy the ‘I’m busy’ excuse. No one is that busy unless they are being held against their will.

You said it yourself. Your always the one to start the communication and reach out. What does that say about his interest level...

Add to this his awareness of your issues of insecurity and need for consistent affection and attention...

It all reads one way... he doesn’t care.

I know your 100% in. But he’s not even meeting you half way. It’s never gonna work unless he also genuinely cares.

And all signs point to him not caring.

If he does come back around you need to find the steel in your spine and make it crystal clear to him what you need in order for the relationship to thrive. Frequency and length of communication. Physical and emotional intimacy. Be specific.

It doesn’t work to have you be the only one to put effort in. He needs to make some effort. Otherwise wtf is the point?

I agree.

Do you think it's also possible that he cares...just not enough, hence the mixed signals? In some ways that's harder to deal with than just getting the cold shoulder. Maybe he's finally trying to have a spine and not use her.

Possibly. Only he knows that.

And I totally get that sometimes, for various reasons, effort may shift and not be 50/50 but 30/70 or 60/40.

But communication, especially text, is so easy to do. So its hard for me to wrap my head around a scenario where he cares about their relationship but leaves her unread/ on read for 2 weeks.

This hasn't ever sounded like a relationship to me when she describes it. It sounds like a situationship that she calls a relationship. *shrugs*

I'm sorry doesn't a relationship mean something that hasn't been defined? Well ours is defined, official and I know he loves me. It may not look like that to anybody right now, but inside my heart I know how many times I felt like I'm more important to him than he shows, he misses me when we're apart. He traveled 250 km and back many times to see me for 3 hrs merely, last year we didn't meet each other for 9 months and 25 days and that man stayed loyal to me, told me how much he missed me so frequently and admist that too he had an episode of going off like this, like the one going on right now. When we talked again after me chasing him he'd already planned his visit to me but wasn't talking to me and I was going crazyyyy—?? He bought gifts for our anniversary while he was suffering from herpes zoster and we hadn't talked to each other for 12 days (a different time) I was thinking WTF is up and that man was going about buying gifts for me WHILE sick. He hadn't told me he's sick and hadn't talked. He'd brought me an anklet actually and he sat at me feel and put it in my feet himself. Took my breath away at that moment. But he's weird AF. Weirder than anyone I know. He remembers the little things I tell him about myself that I don't expect him to remember. Yes but he also forgets our anniversary date but that's okk I think it's cute🤣❤🙈 Doesn't talk to me for 10 days but dude tells his best friend that he's missing me. He's absolutely crazy. December he had a short one week episode of going off and when we talked he told me he'd planned his whole March visit to me. That man's absolutely crazy but I know he loves me and I wronged him for real at the time he was making me the happiest ever in our relationship. There's a reason why I'm not giving up on him no matter what it looks like to anyone else. My heart tells me he'll come back to me like he always has. I trust him and I trust God. Touchwood🤞🤞. I'm gonna not give up and he won't break my heart (Touchwood again🤞🤞) coz his heart is connected to my heart.

click to expand

He suffered from shingles— Is he old?

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by bad_at_usernames

Posted by Fanta

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Fanta

Posted by LadyNeptune

You’ve been together 1.5+ years and he hasn’t responded/spoke with you for 14 days??!

To me, that’s a strong indication it’s over.

Someone who doesn’t care to check in with you and see how your doing after 2 weeks isn’t in a relationship with you any longer.

Even if your extremely busy you can spare a few minutes to say hello or text and check in. I don’t buy the ‘I’m busy’ excuse. No one is that busy unless they are being held against their will.

You said it yourself. Your always the one to start the communication and reach out. What does that say about his interest level...

Add to this his awareness of your issues of insecurity and need for consistent affection and attention...

It all reads one way... he doesn’t care.

I know your 100% in. But he’s not even meeting you half way. It’s never gonna work unless he also genuinely cares.

And all signs point to him not caring.

If he does come back around you need to find the steel in your spine and make it crystal clear to him what you need in order for the relationship to thrive. Frequency and length of communication. Physical and emotional intimacy. Be specific.

It doesn’t work to have you be the only one to put effort in. He needs to make some effort. Otherwise wtf is the point?

I agree.

Do you think it's also possible that he cares...just not enough, hence the mixed signals? In some ways that's harder to deal with than just getting the cold shoulder. Maybe he's finally trying to have a spine and not use her.

Possibly. Only he knows that.

And I totally get that sometimes, for various reasons, effort may shift and not be 50/50 but 30/70 or 60/40.

But communication, especially text, is so easy to do. So its hard for me to wrap my head around a scenario where he cares about their relationship but leaves her unread/ on read for 2 weeks.

This hasn't ever sounded like a relationship to me when she describes it. It sounds like a situationship that she calls a relationship. *shrugs*

I'm sorry doesn't a relationship mean something that hasn't been defined? Well ours is defined, official and I know he loves me. It may not look like that to anybody right now, but inside my heart I know how many times I felt like I'm more important to him than he shows, he misses me when we're apart. He traveled 250 km and back many times to see me for 3 hrs merely, last year we didn't meet each other for 9 months and 25 days and that man stayed loyal to me, told me how much he missed me so frequently and admist that too he had an episode of going off like this, like the one going on right now. When we talked again after me chasing him he'd already planned his visit to me but wasn't talking to me and I was going crazyyyy—?? He bought gifts for our anniversary while he was suffering from herpes zoster and we hadn't talked to each other for 12 days (a different time) I was thinking WTF is up and that man was going about buying gifts for me WHILE sick. He hadn't told me he's sick and hadn't talked. He'd brought me an anklet actually and he sat at me feel and put it in my feet himself. Took my breath away at that moment. But he's weird AF. Weirder than anyone I know. He remembers the little things I tell him about myself that I don't expect him to remember. Yes but he also forgets our anniversary date but that's okk I think it's cute🤣❤🙈 Doesn't talk to me for 10 days but dude tells his best friend that he's missing me. He's absolutely crazy. December he had a short one week episode of going off and when we talked he told me he'd planned his whole March visit to me. That man's absolutely crazy but I know he loves me and I wronged him for real at the time he was making me the happiest ever in our relationship. There's a reason why I'm not giving up on him no matter what it looks like to anyone else. My heart tells me he'll come back to me like he always has. I trust him and I trust God. Touchwood🤞🤞. I'm gonna not give up and he won't break my heart (Touchwood again🤞🤞) coz his heart is connected to my heart.

He suffered from shingles— Is he old?

click to expand

That's your only take away from this whole thing?🙄 no he isn't, he's 3 yrs elder to me which is not a problem.

Posted by bad_at_usernames

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by bad_at_usernames

Posted by Fanta

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Fanta

Posted by LadyNeptune

You’ve been together 1.5+ years and he hasn’t responded/spoke with you for 14 days??!

To me, that’s a strong indication it’s over.

Someone who doesn’t care to check in with you and see how your doing after 2 weeks isn’t in a relationship with you any longer.

Even if your extremely busy you can spare a few minutes to say hello or text and check in. I don’t buy the ‘I’m busy’ excuse. No one is that busy unless they are being held against their will.

You said it yourself. Your always the one to start the communication and reach out. What does that say about his interest level...

Add to this his awareness of your issues of insecurity and need for consistent affection and attention...

It all reads one way... he doesn’t care.

I know your 100% in. But he’s not even meeting you half way. It’s never gonna work unless he also genuinely cares.

And all signs point to him not caring.

If he does come back around you need to find the steel in your spine and make it crystal clear to him what you need in order for the relationship to thrive. Frequency and length of communication. Physical and emotional intimacy. Be specific.

It doesn’t work to have you be the only one to put effort in. He needs to make some effort. Otherwise wtf is the point?

I agree.

Do you think it's also possible that he cares...just not enough, hence the mixed signals? In some ways that's harder to deal with than just getting the cold shoulder. Maybe he's finally trying to have a spine and not use her.

Possibly. Only he knows that.

And I totally get that sometimes, for various reasons, effort may shift and not be 50/50 but 30/70 or 60/40.

But communication, especially text, is so easy to do. So its hard for me to wrap my head around a scenario where he cares about their relationship but leaves her unread/ on read for 2 weeks.

This hasn't ever sounded like a relationship to me when she describes it. It sounds like a situationship that she calls a relationship. *shrugs*

I'm sorry doesn't a relationship mean something that hasn't been defined? Well ours is defined, official and I know he loves me. It may not look like that to anybody right now, but inside my heart I know how many times I felt like I'm more important to him than he shows, he misses me when we're apart. He traveled 250 km and back many times to see me for 3 hrs merely, last year we didn't meet each other for 9 months and 25 days and that man stayed loyal to me, told me how much he missed me so frequently and admist that too he had an episode of going off like this, like the one going on right now. When we talked again after me chasing him he'd already planned his visit to me but wasn't talking to me and I was going crazyyyy—?? He bought gifts for our anniversary while he was suffering from herpes zoster and we hadn't talked to each other for 12 days (a different time) I was thinking WTF is up and that man was going about buying gifts for me WHILE sick. He hadn't told me he's sick and hadn't talked. He'd brought me an anklet actually and he sat at me feel and put it in my feet himself. Took my breath away at that moment. But he's weird AF. Weirder than anyone I know. He remembers the little things I tell him about myself that I don't expect him to remember. Yes but he also forgets our anniversary date but that's okk I think it's cute🤣❤🙈 Doesn't talk to me for 10 days but dude tells his best friend that he's missing me. He's absolutely crazy. December he had a short one week episode of going off and when we talked he told me he'd planned his whole March visit to me. That man's absolutely crazy but I know he loves me and I wronged him for real at the time he was making me the happiest ever in our relationship. There's a reason why I'm not giving up on him no matter what it looks like to anyone else. My heart tells me he'll come back to me like he always has. I trust him and I trust God. Touchwood🤞🤞. I'm gonna not give up and he won't break my heart (Touchwood again🤞🤞) coz his heart is connected to my heart.

He suffered from shingles— Is he old?

That's your only take away from this whole thing?🙄 no he isn't, he's 3 yrs elder to me which is not a problem.

click to expand

I've said enough to last a lifetime in this thread. My opinion hardly matters without being inside of your relationship. I said you would know in about 2 months tops, which way things are gonna go, and I still think that's true. No use in saying things over and over again.

I've never heard of a young person having shingles. Interesting

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by bad_at_usernames

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by bad_at_usernames

Posted by Fanta

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Fanta

Posted by LadyNeptune

You’ve been together 1.5+ years and he hasn’t responded/spoke with you for 14 days??!

To me, that’s a strong indication it’s over.

Someone who doesn’t care to check in with you and see how your doing after 2 weeks isn’t in a relationship with you any longer.

Even if your extremely busy you can spare a few minutes to say hello or text and check in. I don’t buy the ‘I’m busy’ excuse. No one is that busy unless they are being held against their will.

You said it yourself. Your always the one to start the communication and reach out. What does that say about his interest level...

Add to this his awareness of your issues of insecurity and need for consistent affection and attention...

It all reads one way... he doesn’t care.

I know your 100% in. But he’s not even meeting you half way. It’s never gonna work unless he also genuinely cares.

And all signs point to him not caring.

If he does come back around you need to find the steel in your spine and make it crystal clear to him what you need in order for the relationship to thrive. Frequency and length of communication. Physical and emotional intimacy. Be specific.

It doesn’t work to have you be the only one to put effort in. He needs to make some effort. Otherwise wtf is the point?

I agree.

Do you think it's also possible that he cares...just not enough, hence the mixed signals? In some ways that's harder to deal with than just getting the cold shoulder. Maybe he's finally trying to have a spine and not use her.

Possibly. Only he knows that.

And I totally get that sometimes, for various reasons, effort may shift and not be 50/50 but 30/70 or 60/40.

But communication, especially text, is so easy to do. So its hard for me to wrap my head around a scenario where he cares about their relationship but leaves her unread/ on read for 2 weeks.

This hasn't ever sounded like a relationship to me when she describes it. It sounds like a situationship that she calls a relationship. *shrugs*

I'm sorry doesn't a relationship mean something that hasn't been defined? Well ours is defined, official and I know he loves me. It may not look like that to anybody right now, but inside my heart I know how many times I felt like I'm more important to him than he shows, he misses me when we're apart. He traveled 250 km and back many times to see me for 3 hrs merely, last year we didn't meet each other for 9 months and 25 days and that man stayed loyal to me, told me how much he missed me so frequently and admist that too he had an episode of going off like this, like the one going on right now. When we talked again after me chasing him he'd already planned his visit to me but wasn't talking to me and I was going crazyyyy—?? He bought gifts for our anniversary while he was suffering from herpes zoster and we hadn't talked to each other for 12 days (a different time) I was thinking WTF is up and that man was going about buying gifts for me WHILE sick. He hadn't told me he's sick and hadn't talked. He'd brought me an anklet actually and he sat at me feel and put it in my feet himself. Took my breath away at that moment. But he's weird AF. Weirder than anyone I know. He remembers the little things I tell him about myself that I don't expect him to remember. Yes but he also forgets our anniversary date but that's okk I think it's cute🤣❤🙈 Doesn't talk to me for 10 days but dude tells his best friend that he's missing me. He's absolutely crazy. December he had a short one week episode of going off and when we talked he told me he'd planned his whole March visit to me. That man's absolutely crazy but I know he loves me and I wronged him for real at the time he was making me the happiest ever in our relationship. There's a reason why I'm not giving up on him no matter what it looks like to anyone else. My heart tells me he'll come back to me like he always has. I trust him and I trust God. Touchwood🤞🤞. I'm gonna not give up and he won't break my heart (Touchwood again🤞🤞) coz his heart is connected to my heart.

He suffered from shingles— Is he old?

That's your only take away from this whole thing?🙄 no he isn't, he's 3 yrs elder to me which is not a problem.

I've said enough to last a lifetime in this thread. My opinion hardly matters without being inside of your relationship. I said you would know in about 2 months tops, which way things are gonna go, and I still think that's true. No use in saying things over and over again.

I've never heard of a young person having shingles. Interesting

click to expand

Thanks for all your advice.

About the shingles, well okk🤷‍♀