How do you guys handle being called on your bull shit?
Cancer in Venus
Posted by SsupesSag Venus
What bullshit are you referring to? Lots of bullshit out there!
Where's your Venus?
Posted by SsupesHe will avoid hanging out and pull the sorry I didn't make it over today and I said well I knew you weren't coming over when you said you were playing paintball the morning. The he said "You hate me yet?" I said no I understand that your busy and you want to make time for things that make you happy when you get a chance, is it annoying yes but I understand. I said are you aimming to make me had you or something and he said "No. If I was I wouldn't ask. Asking means I care." and then he said "My schedule is fucked." and I said yeah mine would be too with the upcoming gigs I have. and he said "We will find time."Posted by ladylibra21OK, What bullshit are you referring to?Posted by SsupesSag Venus
What bullshit are you referring to? Lots of bullshit out there!
Where's your Venus?
Or you just kicking a hornets nest?click to expand
So here is where I called him out. " Ok then what is time for you because the other day you didn't want to hang out for and hour because you felt that wasn't long enough and in my head it would be nice just to see you for 20 mins. so I don't compute when you say we will find time."
He said: Idk (clamming up ugh)
I said: LOL ok I'm just calling this how I see it. You don't want to see me or you would have. I have practice twice a week down that way and you live 10 mins away and you don't want to talk 10-20 mins of your time to come hang out for a sec. I'm not being dramatic just letting you know that's how I see it because when you want to see someone you make time no matter how little to see them. I wont ask you anymore about it of expect it I only asked in the first place because I wanted to see where your head was as. It's cool though because now at this point I just know im not gonna see you and I'm cool with that as long as your honest about it. Kermit the frog emoji
He said: speechless emoji
I said: LOl how are you speechless
He said: Cause I feel bad you are calling me out
I said: Lol it's what I do don't be offrended I call everyone out on their bullshit. Just letting you know i'm not slo slo lol
He said: I know that about you.
Then He was like well i'm gonna go do som
Sorry it was so long I really like this guy
Yeah I will try to tone It down it's just hard because I hate mixed signals! Just gonna try to work on upcoming shows and leave him be for a while. I guess I'm just afraid he will disappear for good if we don't get to spend time together and that will crush the hell out of me.
Posted by facerollOk he didn't text me yesterday and the rest of Saturday night after the happened early Saturday. Should I just give him space or should I text him and be nice showing i'm over it?
the thing is cancer placements all do the push/pull. it's just part of who they are. it can be infuriating to someone with a bunch of masculine placements. but you can't change them. you have to accept them as they are. or walk. i know you want to shake him like a baby sometimes. but it's just a part of who he is. the thing is the thing that will make him disappear for good is you pushing too hard. i know as a fire venus your first instinct is action and confrontation. but he's a crab venus not an aries venus. so he's going to be upset by the outbursts and won't find it passionate.
i've done the same things that you're doing and learned my lesson the hard way. smh.
Points System
Posted by ladylibra21-50 points for immediately starting a topic offensively
How do you guys handle being called on your bull shit?
Posted by ladylibra21
I understand that your busy and you want to make time for things that make you happy when you get a chance, is it annoying yes but I understand.
+100 points. this is a mature conversation taking place, good reply, not offensive, not defensive either. just acknowledging the facts.
Posted by ladylibra21^still a good conversation. no points deduced, no points awarded. i can almost feel the guilt trip coming round the corner but i will let you see how far you'll go. i can tell you are upset but you're not attacking me and you bring up a legitimate concern.
" Ok then what is time for you because the other day you didn't want to hang out for and hour because you felt that wasn't long enough and in my head it would be nice just to see you for 20 mins. so I don't compute when you say we will find time."
Posted by ladylibra21^first off, let me call you on your bullshit. no, you ain't "cool with that", otherwise you wouldn't write so much. this is when you lead with an assumption of "you don't want to see me", after the cancer venus said you will both see how to manage the time. this kind of line of thinking makes me shut down because it brings up hostility. it gives me a feeling we're not two people who enjoy each other and have good rapport. like i said, i see guilt trips come up a mile away.
You don't want to see me or you would have. I have practice twice a week down that way and you live 10 mins away and you don't want to talk 10-20 mins of your time to come hang out for a sec. I'm not being dramatic just letting you know that's how I see it because when you want to see someone you make time no matter how little to see them. I wont ask you anymore about it of expect it I only asked in the first place because I wanted to see where your head was as. It's cool though because now at this point I just know im not gonna see you and I'm cool with that as long as your honest about it.click to expand
-100 points.
I wouldn't consider you dramatic, yet. I would see that what you're saying is based on a legit concern and I would chill out and soothe you. If you overpush the boundary on aggression...my soothing goes out of the window and my "yeah ok bye" comes up.
The problem isn't the aggression actually, it's how depleted I feel at any random point. We go through moods too but don't act them out on others. A natural balance would make the other part pick up on our emotional states too...yet it doesn't happen often.
Get into a caring vibe, drop the aggression. I'm not saying to ignore your feelings at all but the way you bring it up is confrontational and that's the last thing I would need on my plate if I was going through time times.
Something like "Ok, we both established time is not really on our side right now. I still want to see you but I won't push further. I know that if you want to see me too, you'll get back to me. See you around then 🙂 and take care".
^If he drops off the face of the earth and he never calls you again, then it's for the best for you. You managed it gracefully.
The problem isn't the aggression actually, it's how depleted I feel at any random point. We go through moods too but don't act them out on others. A natural balance would make the other part pick up on our emotional states too...yet it doesn't happen often.
Get into a caring vibe, drop the aggression. I'm not saying to ignore your feelings at all but the way you bring it up is confrontational and that's the last thing I would need on my plate if I was going through time times.
Something like "Ok, we both established time is not really on our side right now. I still want to see you but I won't push further. I know that if you want to see me too, you'll get back to me. See you around then 🙂 and take care".
^If he drops off the face of the earth and he never calls you again, then it's for the best for you. You managed it gracefully.
Lol I'm sorry he really pissed me off saying IDK to everything. Why is it so hard to just explain where your head is? Especially since he said he feels like I'm easy to talk to. I feel like he says he cares because he is not interested anymore, but is not sure how to say that, but he still wants me around for emotional support. If you don't like someone you shouldn't keep telling them thing like you do like them.
Posted by facerollJust got out of a 5 year realtion-SHIT with a Sun Sag, Scorpio Venus we have a child together it is awfulPosted by AirManif you think a fire venus is dramatic i can't wait to see how you deal with a scorpio venus. because ain't nobody got drama going like a scorpio venus. the scorpio venuses i've known.. their relationships and romantic situations have been more of a hot mess than any of mine.
um like i think you better give that kat some space. we cancer venus aint about all that fiery drama. i can't speak for all venus cancer men but speaking for myself, once i leave i ain coming back and if i don't answer phone calls, text messages, that means i don't want to talk. nothing to talk about. maybe he's like that too. who knows. maybe he'll come back. just hope for the best is all you can do as of now. this is one reason why i prefer water venus.
pisces and cancer venus i'll say would be fine. but lol at pretending scorpio venus are not raging drama queens.click to expand
Posted by ladylibra21Mental and emotional fatigue. It's a real thing.
Why is it so hard to just explain where your head is?
Posted by DamnataOk Thanks, I will read this everyday to remind myself haha. It's just really hard when you are usually so in tune with a person and then they just refuse to pony up the goods!
I wouldn't consider you dramatic, yet. I would see that what you're saying is based on a legit concern and I would chill out and soothe you. If you overpush the boundary on aggression...my soothing goes out of the window and my "yeah ok bye" comes up.
The problem isn't the aggression actually, it's how depleted I feel at any random point. We go through moods too but don't act them out on others. A natural balance would make the other part pick up on our emotional states too...yet it doesn't happen often.
Get into a caring vibe, drop the aggression. I'm not saying to ignore your feelings at all but the way you bring it up is confrontational and that's the last thing I would need on my plate if I was going through time times.
Something like "Ok, we both established time is not really on our side right now. I still want to see you but I won't push further. I know that if you want to see me too, you'll get back to me. See you around then 🙂 and take care".
^If he drops off the face of the earth and he never calls you again, then it's for the best for you. You managed it gracefully.
The vision for Cancer Venus is...the partner is the person you turn up to at the end of a hard day. Spend time on the porch, in a hammock, gazing at the stars. Eat some good food, cuddle..all very soothing. Brings up an emotional state of "I love having this person as my partner at the end of the day. Makes any anxiety or bad mood wash away".
Our idea isn't: "Omg I am going to go home to get lectured again and have long talks about where this is going and have kitchen utensils thrown at me". I'd dread coming home in that idea.
Home is interchangeable with relationship. Home/Partner is where our heart is.
Our idea isn't: "Omg I am going to go home to get lectured again and have long talks about where this is going and have kitchen utensils thrown at me". I'd dread coming home in that idea.
Home is interchangeable with relationship. Home/Partner is where our heart is.
Posted by facerollI cant judge this because I haven't seen him in 3 weeks now. He will say stuff like I would love to be laying with you right now or sexual stuff, but that is about it. I mean the other day I did kinda have another cutting word to say to him. He said he was horny and I said I would say come over, but you kinda have me turnt off acting distant. He was like ok ill come over tomorrow but I wont try sexy time because your turnt off and I said so your not even gonna try to turn me on and he said Gosh Women are complicated lol I know I know im being demanding, but only because it's not fair!Posted by ladylibra21has he said anything to reinforce this or is it mostly baseless paranoia? because the whole "you don't care about me" thing doesn't go well with them. and even if you say that to him it might not make him leave for good. it'll just put a wall up between you and he won't tell you anything he is actually feeling.
I feel like he says he cares because he is not interested anymore, but is not sure how to say that, but he still wants me around for emotional support. If you don't like someone you shouldn't keep telling them thing like you do like them.
you need to figure out if this is based in reality or is just paranoia that you're afraid is what is happening.click to expand
He also said part of the reason he was being distant was because last time we had sex he didn't make me cum. Is that bullshit or do you think he could have been legitimately embarrassed by that?
Posted by ladylibra21Why the hell didn;t you start the topic with this? lmao
He also said part of the reason he was being distant was because last time we had sex he didn't make me cum. Is that bullshit or do you think he could have been legitimately embarrassed by that?
Yeah, I think this is why he's been withdrawing for the last 3 weeks. He felt like he let you down.
Posted by DamnataThis just made me cry lol
The vision for Cancer Venus is...the partner is the person you turn up to at the end of a hard day. Spend time on the porch, in a hammock, gazing at the stars. Eat some good food, cuddle..all very soothing. Brings up an emotional state of "I love having this person as my partner at the end of the day. Makes any anxiety or bad mood wash away".
Our idea isn't: "Omg I am going to go home to get lectured again and have long talks about where this is going and have kitchen utensils thrown at me". I'd dread coming home in that idea.
Home is interchangeable with relationship. Home/Partner is where our heart is.
Posted by ladylibra21See, we are good at bullshit. lmaoPosted by DamnataThis just made me cry lol
The vision for Cancer Venus is...the partner is the person you turn up to at the end of a hard day. Spend time on the porch, in a hammock, gazing at the stars. Eat some good food, cuddle..all very soothing. Brings up an emotional state of "I love having this person as my partner at the end of the day. Makes any anxiety or bad mood wash away".
Our idea isn't: "Omg I am going to go home to get lectured again and have long talks about where this is going and have kitchen utensils thrown at me". I'd dread coming home in that idea.
Home is interchangeable with relationship. Home/Partner is where our heart is.click to expand
I kid, I kid.
Posted by DamnataBut I told him practice makes perfect and that he didn't see me going anywhere and it was cool because I like watching him "release" his face and the noises he makes are very sexy lol 😉 Lol sorry TMI I know.Posted by ladylibra21Why the hell didn;t you start the topic with this? lmao
He also said part of the reason he was being distant was because last time we had sex he didn't make me cum. Is that bullshit or do you think he could have been legitimately embarrassed by that?
Yeah, I think this is why he's been withdrawing for the last 3 weeks. He felt like he let you down.
click to expand
Posted by ladylibra21Yeah, women are more about the journey. Men more results oriented.Posted by DamnataBut I told him practice makes perfect and that he didn't see me going anywhere and it was cool because I like watching him "release" his face and the noises he makes are very sexy lol 😉 Lol sorry TMI I know.Posted by ladylibra21Why the hell didn;t you start the topic with this? lmao
He also said part of the reason he was being distant was because last time we had sex he didn't make me cum. Is that bullshit or do you think he could have been legitimately embarrassed by that?
Yeah, I think this is why he's been withdrawing for the last 3 weeks. He felt like he let you down.
click to expand
Lol you post the funniest videos on here
Posted by ladylibra21Notice how the crab isn't offended by neighbors just going "HEY THERE! GOOD MORNING!"
Lol you post the funniest videos on here
He just scuttled back in because that's what we do. It's not personal.
Posted by SsupesI read old post (before they got deleted recently).I liked that too.click to expand
*shakes fists at duncan who probably has zero cancer placements and doesn't care about nostalgia*
Posted by MissGemmiThanks MissGemmi I am soo afraid to call him lol I am gonna make myself though because I really like him and I just cant see him being out of my life for good it would devastate me.Posted by ladylibra21I.ve got cancer venus and honestly I'm not really happy with it. I can get offended by the smallest thing like a baby and pout about it. I need to have alone time when someone has said some harsh things to me when I try my best to do the right thing. I don't like drama. I get quiet and sad and once someone has fallen out to me in a bad way I don't trust their emotional behavior anymore. I don't feel safe and feel like I need to walk on egg shells. Do it too much and it will scare me away. I will stay polite so you won't notice I am hurt by the things you've said, but you will sense I will give you a different approach.
How do you guys handle being called on your bull shit?
If you criticize them harshly then don't stay away for too long. They can feel embarrassed and hurt to talk to you again. You need to make the first steps and let them know you still love them. Don't push on seeing him for now. Call and chat with him until he comes out of his shell slowly. I hate to say it, but cancer venus is a bit of hard work. Sweet but oh so frustrating when hurt.click to expand
nk you're a horrible person, judging by the kind of a girlfriend you are.
You come in here to whine about how he isn't giving you enough attention, and your reaction to him doing this is by you pressuring him with your insecurities .... and it all didn't make sense to me when I first read it the other day. The impression you give is one for the viewing audience to believe that you have a mature relationship, due to yourself being in the relationship ..... then your actions show how you are the one who is behaving immaturely by not being able to handle yourself without his reassurance and approval.
So, how you started to rep yourself was the complete opposite of your chosen words to try and convey a false image of yourself. And I just passed by shaking my head, thinking just another retard.
Then this happens, just after you told the viewing audience that you weren't going to participate in sex with him because you weren't comfortable with his intentions, since he wasn't communicating ......
Posted by ladylibra21
He also said part of the reason he was being distant was because last time we had sex he didn't make me cum
Posted by ladylibra21
But I told him practice makes perfect
click to expand
So, not only did you use sex, you used it to fuck with him ... because you were pissed.
A wholesome woman who loves her man wouldn't say such a thing as "practice makes perfect" .. because she would know, as all should know .... to say that is making the insinuation that he isn't practiced enough to have EVER satisfied her, considering a man doesn't loose this ability inbetween sessions. In saying this as a response to her not achieving orgasm is equivalent to telling a man he's not a good enough lover for you, if he needs practice ... and this isn't just a random man ... this is suppose to be your man.
so, that means you said this to him on purpose to fuck with his feelings .... which leads me to believe that since this was your intent, you likely withheld an orgasm on purpose to make him feel bad.
Because, all of wholesome and good woman know that if you truly love and care for your man, you don't respond with such cutting words about his sexual prowess. But, you're not a good woman, obviously .... and so you set up a situation in where you got to gut him.
And then come in here and pretend that he's fucked up for feeling very disillusioned by you, and so crawls up to a safe place where you aren't present.
A wholesome woman who loves her man wouldn't say such a thing as "practice makes perfect" .. because she would know, as all should know .... to say that is making the insinuation that he isn't practiced enough to have EVER satisfied her, considering a man doesn't loose this ability inbetween sessions. In saying this as a response to her not achieving orgasm is equivalent to telling a man he's not a good enough lover for you, if he needs practice ... and this isn't just a random man ... this is suppose to be your man.
so, that means you said this to him on purpose to fuck with his feelings .... which leads me to believe that since this was your intent, you likely withheld an orgasm on purpose to make him feel bad.
Because, all of wholesome and good woman know that if you truly love and care for your man, you don't respond with such cutting words about his sexual prowess. But, you're not a good woman, obviously .... and so you set up a situation in where you got to gut him.
And then come in here and pretend that he's fucked up for feeling very disillusioned by you, and so crawls up to a safe place where you aren't present.
Posted by P-AngelFirst of all P-Angel why are you so damn bitter? Second of all As far as the sex comment goes if you were reading carefully you would have seen that that happened before the situation where I confronted him. We are not officially together and I haven't held any kind of sex over his head he is the one being withdrawn and hiding. I confronted him because I got the impression that he was making false promises because he felt bad that he didn't want to continue with me because he has trouble letting things go. I confronted him because I value honesty in relationships. I said practice makes perfect because he was having an issue with cumming too early and I wanted to make him understand that it didn't bother me and that I was still very much attracted to him. How about you go back and read every thing. And heffer you don't know anything about me to be trying to say what kind of person I am. I don't understand where you get off thinking that you know everything about me especially since you haven't even toughly read what is going on. Bye Felcia.
So, not only did you use sex, you used it to fuck with him ... because you were pissed.
A wholesome woman who loves her man wouldn't say such a thing as "practice makes perfect" .. because she would know, as all should know .... to say that is making the insinuation that he isn't practiced enough to have EVER satisfied her, considering a man doesn't loose this ability inbetween sessions. In saying this as a response to her not achieving orgasm is equivalent to telling a man he's not a good enough lover for you, if he needs practice ... and this isn't just a random man ... this is suppose to be your man.
so, that means you said this to him on purpose to fuck with his feelings .... which leads me to believe that since this was your intent, you likely withheld an orgasm on purpose to make him feel bad.
Because, all of wholesome and good woman know that if you truly love and care for your man, you don't respond with such cutting words about his sexual prowess. But, you're not a good woman, obviously .... and so you set up a situation in where you got to gut him.
And then come in here and pretend that he's fucked up for feeling very disillusioned by you, and so crawls up to a safe place where you aren't present.
You're just a typical skanky cunt ... and every decent person who realizes how you used sex to fuck with his feelings because you're so immature and nasty has nodded their head at being called out.
Thankfully, the dude realized this and has made the decision that his life has value and worth with you in the trash can where you belong.
Every woman of substance and worth knows that you manipulated him with sex with intentions of hurting his feelings.
My hope is that you fall head over heels in love with someone .... and then they fuck you over, completely. Because that is what you deserve
Posted by P-Angel@P-Angel you are impossible because you have failed again to see that I am not the one withholding sex he is nor have I manipulated him, but its whatever I don't have time to argue with ignorance. and just for the record because you jump to that conclusion or always the negative conclusion, since we are making assumptions here I will have to assume that, that is the kind of person you are and that is why you think that I am that way because that is what you would do. I have no need to hurt or manipulate anyone especially him because I think that I might love this person and at the end of the day I just want to see him happy, but I am the kind of person who always needs answers so this is why I asked him why I haven't seen him you only looked at the sexual part and I am sure you never read any of my post so please P-Angel go be bitter else where. I hope you find peace and happiness in your life. I feel sorry for you trying to argue with a 25 year old that they are an awful person when obviously in this later stage of your life you haven't taken the time to evaluate yourself and why you are so angry. I wish you the best darling smooches!
You're just a typical skanky cunt ... and every decent person who realizes how you used sex to fuck with his feelings because you're so immature and nasty has nodded their head at being called out.
Thankfully, the dude realized this and has made the decision that his life has value and worth with you in the trash can where you belong.
Every woman of substance and worth knows that you manipulated him with sex with intentions of hurting his feelings.
My hope is that you fall head over heels in love with someone .... and then they fuck you over, completely. Because that is what you deserve
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