Not missing when alone and other things

Hello

I'm Aqua woman and I have been in a relationship with a Libra man for 8 months. He is madly in love with me, this is what he says and his actions alos show it. However, I'm not sure what is going on in me. I really really like him, I feel awesome when I'm with him (we see each other 2-5 times a week and stay over at eachothers places, we spend together every weekend). But, when I'm alone and do ny own things (i.e. job, hobbies) - I do not really miss him and sometimes it even bothers me that I have to answer his text messages etc (we communicate every day thourgh messenger) because I feel busy or tired and I want to do my own things. But of course most of the time I like that he messages me and of course I message to him also every day on my own initative. And when we meet I feel like home - it is so much fun and sweetness and we get along so well and I really like being with him and I really see a future with him.

I think the problem is that I have read everywhere that "if you do not miss your man when you are alone, it is not true love, true love is when you cannot live without your man".. And I think the problem is that at first I was not sure whether I like him enough, it took me rather long to get to know him and let him open up to me and I several times figured I should end it. But the more open he got and the more we got to know each other, the more I have discovered what an amazing and wonderful man he really is.But during the process, I havent felt any "butterflies in the stomach" and "crazy in love" feelings. Rather I feel warmness inside me when I think of him and I feel that he just suits in my life so well - I can do my own things without worrying whether he will be there afterwards and I can also spend fantastic time with him.

I also think my problem lies in the fact that I have much more things to do in addition to dayjob - I have more friends and I go to a dancing group where we have trainings 2 times a week and performances and a lot of stuff to do. He has no hobbies outside and only a few friends who have not much time (they have children etc), so when I am not with him, he is alone at home most of the times and says how much he misses me etc. Then I on the one hand feel bad that I have my things to do, while he sits alone at his home, but I do not want to give up my hobbies etc. And on the other hand, this makes me feel weird as I do not have the "I miss you so much" feelings - I think because I have so much other things to do. I think that if the situatons were reversed and I wouyld have to sit in my home and wait - I would also miss miss miss..

I am very happy, but yeah.. actually I think the problem would be solved if he had some hobbies and more friends and life without me, but I do not know how to achieve it. I have suggested him to take on some hobby or urged him to go out with friends, but still nothing (I haven't pushed, just mentioned a few times gently). I know that his life is not in my hands and I should not feel guilty because I have more activities than him, but I do. We have discussed it also a couple of times, but he says that it's ok, he misses me when Im not around, but he can handle himself etc. But it is kinda.. sometimes it feels suffocating knowing that he is always there waiting for me. And I do not get to feel the feeling that I have to miss or wait hime - I'd like to feel that feeling.

To sum it up. I have two problems:

1) I'm affectionate and totally commited to him when we spend time together (i love spending time with him, so much fun and sweetness etc), but I'm detached when we are apart (not much missing etc). Is this normal? Is this OK? Or does it seem am I just settling, leading him on?

2) I feel guilty I have much more things to do than he does and when I do my stuff he is alone and waiting for me and I feel like I have to apologise and prove him that i really really have to these things (although we have discussed it and according to him I should not feel gulity and more over I should not apologise or prove anything). How come over this issue in my head?

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by Ingi
To sum it up. I have two problems:

1) I'm affectionate and totally commited to him when we spend time together (i love spending time with him, so much fun and sweetness etc), but I'm detached when we are apart (not much missing etc). Is this normal? Is this OK? Or does it seem am I just settling, leading him on?

2) I feel guilty I have much more things to do than he does and when I do my stuff he is alone and waiting for me and I feel like I have to apologise and prove him that i really really have to these things (although we have discussed it and according to him I should not feel gulity and more over I should not apologise or prove anything). How come over this issue in my head?

Nothing wrong with you.

Completly normal.

All good.

click to expand

There's something wrong with all of us

Human beings

Posted by Lioness18881
When you're intimate do you feel love or is it just sex without feelings?

It's not just sex, I do feel intimacy and love.

To all of you - thank you so much! 🙂 You have been really helpful, I feel so much better.

I just haven't had anything like this before. We are both 28. I had one like real relationship when I was around 18, it lasted 1,5 years, but I was so young then. I cannot really compare this relationship with "adult" relationships, I was still in school and I have grown so much since then.

During the next 10 years until now, I have not had any real relationships, but I have "fallen madly in love with" several guys anbd I have always felt butterflies. BUT these guys have always been unavailable - i.e I liked them, but they did not like me back, or something was starting but then the guy left me in a month or so, or I dreamed about a teacher in my university and felt butterflies everytime I saw him, or I started to fall in love with a guy I had seen only twice and rest of the time we chatted in messenger and he refused to meet me again, or I spent a year with a rather mentally unstable guy (not medically diagnosed, but he had so many issues and troubles and stuff) who was there but at the same time he was emotionally unavailable and I was like in a black hole, we did not even had sex during the whole time so I do not count it as a relationship. Then I have been on a few dates with guys that I dumped after a few dates because I felt nothing and saw more issues and problems than a bright future.

And then suddenly I met my current boyfriend (which is even weird to say actually 😄). And it just flowed steadily. We just kept spending time together and although I several times figured I should let him go, I somehow always ended up thinking that I do not want to, I beleived there must be something more in him. And I was able to discuss these things with him and as a result we both opened up more and felt more and more comfortable and now I understand how lucky I actually am, cause he is so perfect in so many ways. Of course, there are maybe things I'm not so keen to - well actually mainly only one thing - he is rather sensitive and insecrure in his heart, but at the same time he has huge ego (I think it's a bit of a compensation mechanism for his insecurities). He also needs a lot reassurance and affection (which I do not mind giving him, most of the time, sometimes it's a bit tiring, but I guess it's normal). BUT I also acknoweledge that if I found someone who would not be insecruee etc, he probably would have other things I would not like so much. Overall, he is so perfect in so many aspects, we value the same things, we can discuss everything, it is so easy with him, we complement each other etc.

So I was so worried that maybe I just try to persuade myself into thinking that I want to be with him. But.. no reading your answers and analysing my feelings again, I am certain that everything is really good 🙂

Maybe it's my Aqua thing not being so utterly emotional, but thinking more rationally about relationships and feelings?

Thank you!

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by Ingi
To sum it up. I have two problems:

1) I'm affectionate and totally commited to him when we spend time together (i love spending time with him, so much fun and sweetness etc), but I'm detached when we are apart (not much missing etc). Is this normal? Is this OK? Or does it seem am I just settling, leading him on?

2) I feel guilty I have much more things to do than he does and when I do my stuff he is alone and waiting for me and I feel like I have to apologise and prove him that i really really have to these things (although we have discussed it and according to him I should not feel gulity and more over I should not apologise or prove anything). How come over this issue in my head?

Nothing wrong with you.

Completly normal.

All good.

click to expand

I second this. Sounds about right.

Although I know the Libra men here don't like Aqua women, I must mention the best relationship I ever had was with a Libra.

Posted by 2Moon
Poor Libra... 😢

But he is the stupid one for dating a fucking Aqua woman.

Op proving my point again.. Aqua women are silly, cold af, no emotions and HEART.

Op your excuses are lame just like you.

Your reasoning is terrible with those Tumblr love quotes... Pathetic.

How old are you?

Soo let me get this straight!

You have a good guy that is treating you very good and is always there for you, but that's boring, right?

"Where is muhh selfish and individualist asshole that is going to cheat on me while im learning how to twerk for him?!"

"I need meehh a selfish and self centered badboy that is going to give me butterflies and make me feel alive for 2 weeks"

" 😍😍😍😍😍 😘 😳😳 "

😆 😄 😥😞 fuck this society is finished. Everyone is a piece of sht.

Note to my Libros: Aqua women are not good for you. You deserve better

dude you have an avatar of Viggo Mortenson, hes married to a Spanish Aquarius woman with Aries moon, Aries mars or soemthing.



he looks very much like my Virgo Brother in law who is Libra domiannt. O__O





and he's with my Sagittarius sister who is scorpio domiannt with Aries mars. lol sooooooo interesting.



weirdly i can tell he's a libra sun lol not my type. but my sister loves libra/virgo energy.

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by STILL

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by Ingi
To sum it up. I have two problems:

1) I'm affectionate and totally commited to him when we spend time together (i love spending time with him, so much fun and sweetness etc), but I'm detached when we are apart (not much missing etc). Is this normal? Is this OK? Or does it seem am I just settling, leading him on?

2) I feel guilty I have much more things to do than he does and when I do my stuff he is alone and waiting for me and I feel like I have to apologise and prove him that i really really have to these things (although we have discussed it and according to him I should not feel gulity and more over I should not apologise or prove anything). How come over this issue in my head?

Nothing wrong with you.

Completly normal.

All good.

I second this. Sounds about right.

Although I know the Libra men here don't like Aqua women, I must mention the best relationship I ever had was with a Libra.

I'm always in favour of more Aqua-Libra love.

click to expand

As long it's not the shady kind of Libras, it's gd.

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by STILL

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by Ingi
To sum it up. I have two problems:

1) I'm affectionate and totally commited to him when we spend time together (i love spending time with him, so much fun and sweetness etc), but I'm detached when we are apart (not much missing etc). Is this normal? Is this OK? Or does it seem am I just settling, leading him on?

2) I feel guilty I have much more things to do than he does and when I do my stuff he is alone and waiting for me and I feel like I have to apologise and prove him that i really really have to these things (although we have discussed it and according to him I should not feel gulity and more over I should not apologise or prove anything). How come over this issue in my head?

Nothing wrong with you.

Completly normal.

All good.

I second this. Sounds about right.

Although I know the Libra men here don't like Aqua women, I must mention the best relationship I ever had was with a Libra.

I'm always in favour of more Aqua-Libra love.

click to expand

lol





it's one of the couples astrology junkies from the Pluto Cancer and Pluto Leo generation first post about,

these two. heehee.

Posted by 2Moon
Poor Libra... 😢

But he is the stupid one for dating a fucking Aqua woman.

Op proving my point again.. Aqua women are silly, cold af, no emotions and HEART.

Op your excuses are lame just like you.

Your reasoning is terrible with those Tumblr love quotes... Pathetic.

How old are you?

Soo let me get this straight!

You have a good guy that is treating you very good and is always there for you, but that's boring, right?

"Where is muhh selfish and individualist asshole that is going to cheat on me while im learning how to twerk for him?!"

"I need meehh a selfish and self centered badboy that is going to give me butterflies and make me feel alive for 2 weeks"

" 😍😍😍😍😍 😘 😳😳 "

😆 😄 😥😞 fuck this society is finished. Everyone is a piece of sht.

Note to my Libros: Aqua women are not good for you. You deserve better

It's so interesting how different persons perceive things differently. You made a conclusion that I think my boyfriend is boring and I want some badboy. I did not once mention that he is boring, I said I have lots of fun with him. I pointed out that he is a bit insecure, but I did not say its a deal breaker and I want a badboy instead. I said he is wonderful. Basically my purpose was to complain about myself, not about him. And I believe it shows I have heart and feelings if I'm worried about my feelings towards him and if I feel a level of guilt if I'm not with him. If I did not care, I would not give a damn about his wellbeing when I'm not around, right?

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by Ingi
To sum it up. I have two problems:

1) I'm affectionate and totally commited to him when we spend time together (i love spending time with him, so much fun and sweetness etc), but I'm detached when we are apart (not much missing etc). Is this normal? Is this OK? Or does it seem am I just settling, leading him on?

2) I feel guilty I have much more things to do than he does and when I do my stuff he is alone and waiting for me and I feel like I have to apologise and prove him that i really really have to these things (although we have discussed it and according to him I should not feel gulity and more over I should not apologise or prove anything). How come over this issue in my head?

Nothing wrong with you.

Completly normal.

All good.

There's something wrong with all of us

Human beings

Sure but what she described is completly normal and not "wrong".

click to expand

Normal to who? What is normal?



Lol

Posted by Awesomeyo

Posted by Ingi
To sum it up. I have two problems:

1) I'm affectionate and totally commited to him when we spend time together (i love spending time with him, so much fun and sweetness etc), but I'm detached when we are apart (not much missing etc). Is this normal? Is this OK? Or does it seem am I just settling, leading him on?

2) I feel guilty I have much more things to do than he does and when I do my stuff he is alone and waiting for me and I feel like I have to apologise and prove him that I really really have to these things (although we have discussed it and according to him I should not feel gulity and moreover I should not apologise or prove anything). How come over this issue in my head?

I am impressed with the way you have put forth your story and especially the sum up questions. They are direct, with every necessary detail and high level of precision. This also shows how intuned you are with your emotions or inner self. So obviously, you are looking for a logical explanation which makes perfect sense in the end and not a superficial one or else your brain won't be satisfied.

I think a person who has been through this exact situation might answer your questions perfectly but, the satisfaction ain't guaranteed.

Again, @Brittnie can you try to shooot these questions in the head.

click to expand

Wow! I did go through this EXACT situation. Except my Leo just left me instead of working it out because I got too “content” if he had a problem, he should have came to me. I did the same thing. Except you caught it and apologized for it. If you are not intentionally doing this to “lead him on” or anything else AND you talk to him about and he says you have nothing to worry about it then you have done what you can do. If he really does have issues with it and he is not telling you then THATS ON HIM! I love that you have been aware of this situation and communicated it with him. I don’t know if it’s “normal” but if we have no bad intentions then what is there to be guilty about? I was detached when we were apart but I had my own problems I was dealing with which I realize now, I just should have made him aware that that’s what was going on so he wasn’t worried about me doing something I wasn’t supposed to. He got in his head and wouldn’t talk to me and chose to walk away instead which I feel he will regret eventually because I have not and will not ever love anyone like that. You are doing what I wish I would have so if he has a problem, you have done all you can and I don’t know you but I’m proud of you, especially if you are also an Aqua 😂 I was also very affectionate and caring when we were together, but detached when we were apart because I thought he would hang around. Neither one of us addressed any issues we had so I think you are on the right track 😋 good luck!!

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by Ingi
To sum it up. I have two problems:

1) I'm affectionate and totally commited to him when we spend time together (i love spending time with him, so much fun and sweetness etc), but I'm detached when we are apart (not much missing etc). Is this normal? Is this OK? Or does it seem am I just settling, leading him on?

2) I feel guilty I have much more things to do than he does and when I do my stuff he is alone and waiting for me and I feel like I have to apologise and prove him that i really really have to these things (although we have discussed it and according to him I should not feel gulity and more over I should not apologise or prove anything). How come over this issue in my head?

Nothing wrong with you.

Completly normal.

All good.

There's something wrong with all of us

Human beings

Sure but what she described is completly normal and not "wrong".

Normal to who? What is normal?



Lol

click to expand

Amen sister!! Preach 🙌🏼

The only reason you don’t have that miss you feeling is because he is more available then you. It has nothing to do with wether the feelings are real or not. Don’t ever group yourself with everyone else 😂 evvveeerrrrr. After reading more of this, you better hang on to this on! The way you described your time together sounds wonderful! That’s what really counts also, you spend enough time together. It’s really sweet. You have nothing to worry about but I do understand why you feel the way that you do. It’s crazy that me and Leo would have been together 8 months now as well. But I’m happy for you! Sounds like you have a relationship that’s amazing 😁

Posted by 2Moon

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by 2Moon
Poor Libra... 😢

But he is the stupid one for dating a fucking Aqua woman.

Op proving my point again.. Aqua women are silly, cold af, no emotions and HEART.

Op your excuses are lame just like you.

Your reasoning is terrible with those Tumblr love quotes... Pathetic.

How old are you?

Soo let me get this straight!

You have a good guy that is treating you very good and is always there for you, but that's boring, right?

"Where is muhh selfish and individualist asshole that is going to cheat on me while im learning how to twerk for him?!"

"I need meehh a selfish and self centered badboy that is going to give me butterflies and make me feel alive for 2 weeks"

" 😍😍😍😍😍 😘 😳😳 "

😆 😄 😥😞 fuck this society is finished. Everyone is a piece of sht.

Note to my Libros: Aqua women are not good for you. You deserve better

dude you have an avatar of Viggo Mortenson, hes married to a Spanish Aquarius woman with Aries moon, Aries mars or soemthing.



he looks very much like my Virgo Brother in law who is Libra domiannt. O__O





and he's with my Sagittarius sister who is scorpio domiannt with Aries mars. lol sooooooo interesting.



weirdly i can tell he's a libra sun lol not my type. but my sister loves libra/virgo energy.

He is married? I didn't know.

I thought he was gay or at least bi?

look.. I don't care about his sex life and his Aqua wife. I like Lord of the rings, that's it

click to expand

i get a boring blah vibe from him (he not ugly though just blah zzzzz....so that aqua lady he's married to really likes that type. lol

and you lie cause you love them aquarius women, i remember you pimping on the Tinashe chick.

my husband is like this guy.



no libra on him... but hey you guys are coolio. I know there's some aqua chicks that like you guys. Just not on this site i notice. Not even the single aqua ladies are interested in you guys.

and the gemini chicks have dated you all...but all hate your asses. lol smh

Posted by 2Moon

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by 2Moon
Poor Libra... 😢

But he is the stupid one for dating a fucking Aqua woman.

Op proving my point again.. Aqua women are silly, cold af, no emotions and HEART.

Op your excuses are lame just like you.

Your reasoning is terrible with those Tumblr love quotes... Pathetic.

How old are you?

Soo let me get this straight!

You have a good guy that is treating you very good and is always there for you, but that's boring, right?

"Where is muhh selfish and individualist asshole that is going to cheat on me while im learning how to twerk for him?!"

"I need meehh a selfish and self centered badboy that is going to give me butterflies and make me feel alive for 2 weeks"

" 😍😍😍😍😍 😘 😳😳 "

😆 😄 😥😞 fuck this society is finished. Everyone is a piece of sht.

Note to my Libros: Aqua women are not good for you. You deserve better

rofl.

























Aqua women end up forever alone with 12 cats. 😆 !

click to expand

lol @selekuos is a man.



there are single aqua women on this site, and i dont think they mind. lol

Posted by Ingi
To sum it up. I have two problems:

1) I'm affectionate and totally commited to him when we spend time together (i love spending time with him, so much fun and sweetness etc), but I'm detached when we are apart (not much missing etc). Is this normal? Is this OK? Or does it seem am I just settling, leading him on?

2) I feel guilty I have much more things to do than he does and when I do my stuff he is alone and waiting for me and I feel like I have to apologise and prove him that i really really have to these things (although we have discussed it and according to him I should not feel gulity and more over I should not apologise or prove anything). How come over this issue in my head?

Lol you sound perfect for him. Air sign men typically like their ladies more standoffish and closed book. He is head over heels because you are independent and out there living your life...not up his butt. Mystery is attractive to them.

Don’t base your relationship success off of what media and television portrays as a ‘successful’ relationship (I.e. missing him when he’s outta sight). Just focus on growing what’s between you. 8months is early on. Wait until the 2nd or 3rd year and the feels will really hit you hard.

Posted by Ingi
To sum it up. I have two problems:

1) I'm affectionate and totally commited to him when we spend time together (i love spending time with him, so much fun and sweetness etc), but I'm detached when we are apart (not much missing etc). Is this normal? Is this OK? Or does it seem am I just settling, leading him on?

2) I feel guilty I have much more things to do than he does and when I do my stuff he is alone and waiting for me and I feel like I have to apologise and prove him that i really really have to these things (although we have discussed it and according to him I should not feel gulity and more over I should not apologise or prove anything). How come over this issue in my head?

Absolutely nothing wrong about it.

I am a mixture from you and your boyfriend so I may be able to help you in seeing from both angles.

I am like you with every one but my partner. I love my family and friends and I enjoy so much when I am with them but when I am not together I detach completely and sometimes I feel guilty about that. So I know what you mean very well. But that is how you are and it is nothing wrong with it. With my partner sometimes is like that too if I am very busy. So I will completely detach and don’t want to be bothered.

On the other hand. I can be completely attached to only my partner and I can miss him tremendously sometimes. It seems like you know how to handle it and he doesn’t have a problem with it. He saying that he understands and that you shouldn’t feel guilty is true. You shouldn’t worry about it. As long as you make him secure and connected to you when you are together he will be fine. That is all he needs. Him telling you that he misses you is a way of calling you to connect to him. If you give him that he will enjoy the missing part in between and you don’t need to feel guilty about it at all.

I hope this helps you to see that you shouldn’t feel guilty. He loves you for who you are and the missing part is his problem to deal with. Having your love when you are together it’s the most important thing.

Again, thank you all for your contributions 🙂 And thanks for understanding and explaining your viewpoints. I do fully understand now that everything is fine with my relationship.

Also, of course it's not like that that he does everything for me, and then I just hang out by myself and do my own things and don't miss him and then return to him to have him doing everything for me. Of course I do everything to him I can, stand by him, encourage him, surprise him, care for him, I have left all my plans and activities to go to his place to take care of him when he was sad etc. I was just worried about those two issues I mentioned previously and thanks to you I understand these are not actual issues in terms that I do not have to fully concentrate on these, rather I should enjoy our relationship 🙂

Thank you!